Do I need to tell my childs father I am moving?

My and my husband are moving in the end of March our hold up is I have a child with someone else. I was 16 when I had her and he was 18. He’s been in and out of her life since she was born but now it’s been 8 months since he’s seen her or contacted her. Do we need to tell him we’re moving or can we just leave. We were never married or have any parenting plan. She is 5 almost 6 and we are in Montana.

29 Likes

Move on with your life he will contact when we wants to.

1 Like

Is there an active court order? If so than yes if not then you might not have to

1 Like

No, no court order and he doesn’t maintain a relationship with her

1 Like

I am also in Montana. and share a child. you legally only have to let him know you are moving if you are moving out of state or country. If there is no parenting plan of course. But if there is then you just have to let him know and file the new address to the court system.

Is there anything court sating that you have to tell him? If not, C-Ya. :v:t3:

Since no parenting plan you do not have to legally tell him.

If he isn’t on birth certificate u should be fine but If he is u may have to let him know or the courts at least. I’m in Montana also. Have a similar situation. Besides dad never has came around he isn’t on my daughter’s birth certificate and my husband now has been raising her since she was 3 and she is almost 16 now. Good luck mama!!

Live your life. When and if he does call then you can let him know.

6 Likes

If you don’t have anything in the courts then you can move without telling him. Since he’s hasn’t contacted you, you can move.

1 Like

If there is no parenting plan or custody order your legally able to take her in the state of Montana and since he really doesn’t have no part of her life do what is best for you and your family
Good luck :+1:

2 Likes

If there’s a legal custody agreement, it should be in there. If he’s an absent father and there’s not legal agreement, don’t tell him. My mom didn’t tell my father when we moved and it was the best decision she ever made.

1 Like

If you never went to court I’m pretty sure you can.

Depends how far you’re moving, and if he has any contact

First and foremost does he on the birth certificate

If he’s in and out just leave :woman_shrugging: my opinion. If he ends up wanting to really be apart of her life later on, you guys can make it work. Especially since you don’t have a court order custody agreement.

3 Likes

It doesn’t matter if you have a formal parenting contract or not. If he is on your child’s birth certificate and there was any court involvement the best thing to do is contact family court. They can iron all of the legal stuff out of the way so all three of you have your rights considered. This takes the pressure off of you.

Call the court and find out what the abandonment laws are in your state if you have any. But honestly if it was me and I had proof that there’s been zero contact in 8 months I’d just leave and wouldn’t say anything. If he wanted to be a part of her life he would be. An area code shouldn’t change that

1 Like

You need to tell him. It’s the right thing to do.

1 Like

Tell him. It’s the right thing to do. You should always choose to be the better person for the sake of your child.

10 Likes

Are you moving out of state or just different town. There isn’t court orders so I’d probably move but when he reaches out send him where you are at. But please look into your laws every state is different some may still take you up on kidnapping charge. Or give you a pat on the back. There is a lot of lawyers that do free consultations that can answer better for you.

Pros and cons. You could just leave and not say anything depending on where you’re at etc. cons… if it’s not taken to court before hand he can get “visiting” time and just not bring her back since it’s not court ordered. That’s how it works in Michigan anyways.

Lol If he is on the birth certificate or there is any sort of custody agreement, yes you have to take legal steps.

I would check the parenting agreement.

I have FULL physical custody (bio dad doesn’t live in same state), so I can move if I please but it does require I notify with updated information. (Permission I don’t need but notification is required.)

You have to contact a lawyer that knows the law in your state.

I would just let him know in a positive way… send him a nice text saying “hey I just wanted to update you that we are relocating… child will be attending ___ school and is very excited! We look forward to you being able to come and visit when you’re ready and able! thanks for understanding!” byeeee!! If he hasn’t bothered to come and visit in 8 months, he most likely wont even respond. But at least you’re doing your part and informing him and keeping it positive.

Every state is different on rules when it comes to this. Your best bet would be to contact an attorney.

11 Likes

This is a very important question. It should not be answered by the general public. You need to ask someone with knowledge of the legal system. Better to do it right than have to go to court because you went with the opinion of the general public.

3 Likes

If he had custody, would you like it if he moved and didn’t tell you? Tell him. Don’t be that person. Contact a lawyer and ask the lawyer.

It depends entirely upon your court order. So consider reading your own agreement with the courts

If there’s no official custody agreement, then no, I don’t believe you need to tell him - and considering that he has made no form of contact in almost a year, I don’t see the sense in going out of your way to let him know.
If/When he calls, tell him then and if he has the audacity to throw a tantrum, tell him the truth - if he cared so much for the daughter he helped create, he should have been more present and active in her life. :tipping_hand_woman:t2:

5 Likes

Even if he was in prison, in space, or on a secret government mission, 8 months without contact is abandonment, in the eyes of most courts and state agencies he would have to earn back his rights if he ever had any, — move

14 Likes

If you move out of the county or state, the county you left has jurisdiction for 6 months. He can easily go file for his rights to be upheld and you may have to bring the child back. Your best option here is to get his consent first. Otherwise things can become a headache for you if he chooses to pursue it.

16 Likes

Yes​:joy::joy: the dad needs to know where the child is living​:woman_facepalming: if a dad come to ask everyone would be on his butt to say something! So yes you should tell the other parent where you child is at all times like vacation & where the live.

I would definitely contact a lawyer. I’m pretty sure he can make your life miserable, and in this day and age there’s a lot of people that go for bl ood in cases like this. Google taking your child out of state from Montana.

10 Likes

Generally…if there’s no official agreement on file with the court amd no open custody battles in court then there is no limitations on the custodial parent

10 Likes

6 months in pa is abandonment. Idk the laws there.

I don’t know laws for your state, but here in Ontario Canada it all depends what the court order says if you have one. I can move, but not outside our county without informing my ex. And he can’t move at all without telling me 2 months in advance.

2 Likes

If he hasn’t had contact in 8 months with her, he don’t care. Move, please!

1 Like

Definitely speak to your attorney and absolutely :100: tell the father.

I know someone who went through the same thing in Canada and she couldn’t move out of the province with the children or else he could have her charged with kidnapping. I would definitely talk to a lawyer.

Legally no. Unmarried parents have no legal rights even if on the bc.

I would tell him. He definitely could raise some heck if you don’t.

You probably should, just to be safe!

If he hasn’t seen her in 8 months he not worried about nothing you doing with her, if he does he can petition the court for hisself

Don’t ask us and don’t ask him. Go to a professional to make sure you’re getting the correct information. Don’t risk it!!!

4 Likes

Yes… tell him if you want him to be the father

You can just move if you don’t have court order if you have court presenting plan you need to file motion / petition court for child abodmenent after 6 months of no contact you will have to try and serve dad papers if you don’t know address you can put in paper where he was last know to live

1 Like

It’ll depend on what the court order says.

Do you have a court order?

If there is a court order for custody/visitation in place, I would review that before doing anything because some agreements will have relocation clauses in them.

My ex and I had an agreement in our order that neither of us could move out of the state without the permission of the other. I wanted to move to the next state over and he threw a fit. I told him I could move 20 minutes across the state line or I could move 4 hours east or west and still be in the same state.

If there isn’t a court order for custody/visitation and it’s been 8 months since contact, I would say go on and move because dude clearly doesn’t care about being involved with his child.

1 Like

Is there a parenting plan or has he established paternity

If there’s no court visitation appointed to him, legally in the state of Ohio the mothers are the legal custodial parent/guardian of said child. You do Not have to tell him anything unless you want him to know and have visitation with the said child. It is your sole decision and right to do as needed in order to take care of your said child and do the best you can for her. Even if that’s moving for a higher paying job in a different county or state. Now if you’re living in state of Montana, you’d have to look up parental rights in their state law library or online to see what it states

There sure are a lot of lawyers on here. Get you a real one. Most consultations are free. Don’t take the chance of getting into a mess later. Jmo

It differs state to state.you can always call a legal aid and ask them they would let you know in your state. I would definitely let him know, be the better person even though he’s not in your child’s life that’s his decision not yours, do the right thing!!This way you won’t have any regrets & when he decides to grow up and wants to be a part of her life he’ll know where to look.jmo.

Without an order you can go wherever without permission.

I would give him 30 days notice. If you had a parenting plan that is what it would say. Make sure it’s written too and certified mail

First you need to check with the laws in your state then decide from there

File abandonment charges on him. I don’t think that if you were ever married that you can get in trouble. If you are never married you have full custody

You can move. You don’t have a parenting plan. If you do it before you can go but if he files you might have to stay in the same county you are in. Do what is best for you to be able to provide. If he cared he would be in her life. Don’t give him a chance to ruin your life.

All advice aside… wouldn’t it be just the right thing to do to ask him?? Just out of curtsy???

If it was me I would let him know regardless. Every child deserves the right to know the other parent regardless of your relationship with the other parent as long as the other parent isn’t abusive or neglectful with the child.

3 Likes

Honestly I’d talk with an attorney. It varies from state to state, but here in Colorado after 6 months of a father having no contact or making no effort it’s considered abandonment and the father can lose his rights completely.

Legally and morally, yes you do tell him. Wouldn’t you want to know someone was taking your child away? He also can refuse that situation and you will be responsible (financially and physically) for getting the child to visitation

Would you want him to tell you? Same

I’d look for your state but u should just file for full custody and request to move. I had to and won and was given permission. The father had not seen him in years but they ordered him to have weekly phone calls. I fear if I would have left the fight would have been longer and harder

What would you want if the roles were reversed….I understand he hasn’t seen her in 8 months :woman_shrugging:t2:

If there’s no court order and he doesn’t see her i wouldn’t even say anything but that’s just me.

Look into ur custody laws not all states r the same… even when the father isn’t always in the life… I kno PA is equal parenting… married or unwedded…

You should tell him. Down the road your daughter and her father won’t be able to blame you if he decides to not be involved anymore.

I was told that if there is no custody order in place then I didn’t have to notify the other parent. However, it would look better for you if he took you to court to try and stop you. I would send a message and let him know and tell him if he doesn’t agree to it then he needs to file something with the court by a certain date. If he doesn’t file anything then that’s him agreeing.

I would tell him just incase cuz you don’t want it to bite you in the a** later if courts were to ever get involved. It’s just better to be safe then sorry.

Just leave then worry about everything else, document how long it takes for him to contact u

Ask a lawyer. Every state is different. Some require it be in the custody agreement, some do not. Some states allow you to terminate rights with out contact for 6 consecutive months, some do not.
So, ask a lawyer before you play around and have to move back or lose custody.

You don’t have to, but yes you should. Unless you want to explain to your daughter later that it’s your fault her dad couldn’t find her when he does come looking.

14 Likes

Call an attorney or courts to find out or go to court to get a court order agreement. It can get messy if you your not allowed to,he could get you for kidnapping.

It would be nice to tell him.

Contact an attorney… be very careful getting legal advice off of fb… its going to depend on your state laws… he is in and out… not gone and by leaving without notice… you could be buying yourself a heap of trouble.

He won’t notice & you don’t have a way of contacting him, he’s MIA :wink:

If your moving around the UK then no you don’t unless u have a court order then yes you do
Or if you move abroad for more than 3 weeks then you need to tell them xx

From my understanding if you guys don’t have a parenting plan you do not have to inform him. Unless he asks you then you can let him know

2 Likes

You could possibly get him for abandonment…

It is considered legal abandonment by the biological father. I would seek an attorney for a multitude of reasons…all positive at your end since he has abandoned your child.

Only if its a certain distance away. I moved to a different state but still 30 mins away so I didn’t NEED to inform him. Now if I’m an hour past the boarder which would effect pick up drop offs or school then yeah. Court normally tells ya if ya ask how many miles your agreement goes up to just call clerk of courts and ask

Is the father on birth cert or anything? Is there anything through the courts at all? Child support?

File for custody.before he does.

You don’t have any parental agreement or custody so u are free to move wherever. If he wanted parents rights well he should have already done that. I’d still give him the info after you move but if it’s been 8 months I doubt he’s gonna even notice you and her were gone.

Move he don’t bother anyway

If it’s been 8 months since he’s seen her, doesn’t sound like he cares much, to begin with. I would just leave. Why should you have to sit around and wait until he decides, he has time for his kid? Sounds like it would be pretty easy for you to get full legal custody, then you wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

You need a lawyer. None of us can tell you what is legal for you and your daughter in the place where she has residency.

Idk how it’s done there but in our state since no paternity or legal action was ever taken and you are married then technically your husband is the legal dad in the eyes of the law. I have 3 children from a different man and I’m not married. He is all my children’s father legally

Is he on the birth certificate? Does he pay child support?

Do you have a court ordered child support and visitation? Evidently if he hasn’t seen her in 8 months he’s probably not a very good father. Contact an attorney. Legal consultation is usually free. Then do what they say since he’s not someone who values spending time with her I don’t think it will be a problem because it would take $$$ for him to get an attorney.

Nothing stopping you and if you tell him first then he could make a way to prevent you from going if he wanted to be selfish

I live in Montana as well. Are you moving out of state? If yes you need to get his consent first and get it on paper with his signature notarized if you don’t go through court. In Montana abandonment is one year with absolutely no contact whatsoever. Now if you are just moving to a different county no you don’t. But if you leave the state without his consent and without informing him he can get you for custodial interference if he is on the birth certificate or if you have a parenting plan

No you don’t! Only if it’s over 300 miles away

Leave your address/contact info with his relative on the day of moving or close to, that way if he does eventually want to find her he can, there should be an open door for both

If he pays child support it might behoove you to tell him. If not just keep your same phone number. You can tell him when he calls. Simple.

pretty sure if u dont ha e a custody plan it doesn matter what he says…my hibs bm moved outta state and we didn’t even know cause the dumb b cut all contact cpl years ago refuses to talk to my husband and we found out thru my mil they moved🤷🏻‍♀️

Check with your state about abandonment laws. I know some states will let you file abandonment at 6 months and some at a year… But if you can prove the father hasn’t had any contact or paid child support they should let you file. If that’s something your state implements.

Each state is different. But he is a parent with rights to know where his child resides.
Since you said he’s not had contact with his (and your) child in 8 months, and has been in and out of her life since birth, you may also want to ask an attorney about the law (and time frame) regarding abandonment, if it’s in your child’s best interest.

A quick 2 second google search pulled this up.
Good Luck