Do I want for the guy I am madly in love with?

I started dating a new guy in October 2021. From the start he seemed like such a great guy! He had a good head on his shoulders he had this drive to make life easier for him and his child. I loved it. Well suddenly he decides that he’s not interested in his job type any longer. He gets a new job almost immediately. We don’t live together. But I love everything about this man! Well suddenly I realized he was developing a horrible drinking habit! I told him I don’t like that let’s slow down and he agreed, but when his friends were around he couldn’t say no. Instead he thought it would just be OK to drink and not tell me. Of course I smelled it on him. So I packed my things and left. Since then he has told “after that night I realized I needed to stop drinking and I haven’t drank. But honestly I realized I don’t need a girlfriend to feel happy I just need to focus on my son, my house, ect” what do I do? Do I wait around on the guy I am so madly deeply in love with? Or do I move on?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do I want for the guy I am madly in love with?

Move on. He’s not ready to stop

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… he told you he isn’t ready I wouldn’t wait around if it happens it will happen.

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Sounds like a co-dependent relationship in the making and I think he knows exactly what he is doing by saying he doesnt need a girlfriend. Hes got you, hook, line, and sinker. Move on.

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No you don’t wait around for someone that tells you they don’t want you in their life

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He’s gonna move on and not wait for you.so why would you put life on hold.

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He battling his own demons and depression is what it looks like

Move on. Sounds a train wreck in the making. Avoid it

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He’s done time to move on

He tells you he doesn’t need you around, and you’re asking what exactly? Have some self respect, man!

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You move on. Never let a man tell you twice they don’t want you

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You should move on because a grown man doesn’t need to tell you when he drinks.

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Sober first for a considerable amount of time and away from the users

Literally move tf on :woman_facepalming:

Don’t ever wait for a man.

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It’s sad to say, but I would move on. He made it very clear that he didn’t want to be in a relationship with you. You don’t need to wait around for the guy to change. They will change for the person they want to be with.

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Move on he told you where stands

You run. I did this relationship. It’s not what you think it is. Runnn.

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Lmao just move on. He realized he’s good without a chick in his life. Sounds to me like you caught feelings WAY TOO QUICKLY!

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Wait for what? He told you that you are not a necessity in his life so move on.

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You did not know him he was a con

You already know the answer to that. You might be in love but it doesn’t sound like he is

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This sounds like infatuation on your part. And he sounds like he’s not interested. I’m sorry. Move on .

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My girl,move on and fast too!!!

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Move on hon, he will promise you he’s changed, only to get back with u, n start his old ways again,don’t settle for less, when you have the best, maybe not now, give it time!

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let him go. He’s not that into you

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He is telling you to move on.

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Girl find better and just hope he does better for his son if that’s the case nothing you can do if he doesn’t want to help himself.

Catch 22
He’s a seceret alcoholic and tbh he as chosen his drink over you… Hes using the me and my son routine to throw you of the scent and make you belive he’s sober…
Q why did his baby mother leave…
Q why did he leave his job or did he get the sack…
Q. Do you need the drama…
Q Are you better alone…
A leave him to his own demons and find a real man who treats you with care…
I maybe sinical but I put up with a drinker for years… Never again

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Move on why wait for someone who’s said he just wants it to be him and his son? You could ruin your chances of future happiness with someone better

Mooveeee on. You guys have only been together 5 months. That’s nothing.

He was VERY CLEAR with what he wants and doesn’t want. He doesn’t want a girlfriend. Do not lower yourself to beg for ANY man. Move on and find your own happiness.

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Listen to his words. Leave. You can’t force someone to want you.

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It’s not that he suddenly developed a drinking habit it’s that he was hiding it from you and couldn’t hide it longer. Let him go because he’s telling you point blank what he wants. Good for him for realizing what he wants to focus on and what he needs to do for him and his child. If it’s meant to be he’ll come back.

Move on for his sake

He clearly told you move on,he isn’t into you

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Ummm. Move on. He told you his feelings.

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You dodged a bullet. Move on

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You 2 not on same path…you lying to eachother…just call it quits

He told you who he is. Believe him.

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Heez dropping u so he can drink in peace man…id say alchoholic …stay and watch him quit his job every 2 months girl …where there is 1 red flag there is 20 …save the heartache babe …bc your a good girl … And hell get
p😽ssy anywhere …let go now …or it will get harder

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He basically told you he isn’t what you want. Move on.

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He made his choice it’s called alcohol. More than likely he was fired for drinking during work hours on lunch :green_salad:

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You left him instead of trying to find a solution first. Let him be so he can focus on his son.

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Seems like he’s already moved on… You should too

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Sounds like he was full of shit to impress you and can’t keep up with the charade. Move on

Leave!!! I’m going through this now with my husband of 7 years! He’s stripped me of everything from financial to emotional. LEAVE

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Move on. Hard as it is, you will survive.

If it were me, yes I would move on even though it will be a heart break :broken_heart:. Hugs

Move. The. Hell. On.

Move on… He’s just using that as a ploy to make you let him do what he wants to. Hes saying to himself “oh well if I tell her I don’t want a girlfriend then she’ll know I have a problem with her telling me she doesn’t like me drinking and won’t say it again.” And he straight up lied to u. Also if u act like it doesn’t bother u then maybe he’ll realize hes in the wrong for being like tht. He’s just mad bc u Called him out for being a liar and not being able to drink like an adult. If it’s meant to be he’ll realize he was in the wrong and contact u and apologize maybe. Then maybe u could be friends in the future when he grows up a little more.

He told you he isnt interested in you. Leave him alone

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Sometimes we ask for something and when we get it - we don’t appreciate it. Move on - you packed your things already - next time although remember this - the 4 corners of a good relationship’s foundation is, trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty- this is only made stronger through good communication :v:t4::heart:

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He literally told you he wants to be single

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Honestly? It sounds like you a very controlling… and on top of that YOU left him. It seems like he has moved on. Sounds like you should too

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Girl I know it hurts but he was just going through some crazy phase

Woman be crazy. Do u wait. ? Sure wait on someone who can’t give u what u need now. Wait for a man who has a problem u can’t deal with. Wait for him to be with u and relapse later. Sure. Just wait.
When u hit 40 and u still waiting. Keep waiting.

U people who come up with this stuff are so dumb.

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Girl… He just dumped you for being controlling… Move on

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Honestly if he wants to drink who cares he’s an adult who deserves to have a drink i dont think its bout the drinking he doesn’t wanna be nagged at. When I got with my fiance he quit a job bc he wanted something better and just switched jobs again. Buy if this is all that huge of a deal I say move on

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I’m curious why you think a grown man needs to tell you if he goes drinking with his friends. You have only been together 5 months. And it sounds like he moved on from you.

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From someone who loves someone in this position… move on til they prove they’re going to change or it will be an endless cycle. I am so sorry.

If he’s an alcoholic you can’t change his addiction

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You left out of anger and he realized he was okay with it. Move on.

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5 months and you are madly in love. Sounds like he knows you are rushing things. Just end it. If he’s the right one for you, the Lord will send him back to you.

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I think he answered your question himself.

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Deeply in love and only after 5 months. Slow down you may just be freaking him out

You packed your stuff and left and now he’s basically telling you he doesn’t wanna be with you cause you’re controlling…

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He told you he doesn’t need you, so why is there even a question :thinking:

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You don’t live together but you packed your things and left? I’m confused somewhere…

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You’re controlling and dramatic. He is better off dealing with his house and kid. Leave him alone.

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Dump him and move on——this is a 91 year old man talking

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Uhhh…it sounds like you don’t have a choice but to move on if he’s saying he doesn’t need a gf and wants to focus on his child and their lives. Just because you feel he’s the perfect man for you doesn’t mean you’re the perfect partner for him.

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He’s not changing, he’s showing his true colors.

leave him the fuck alone. he said he doesn’t need a girlfriend to be happy which is 100% fine. accept that, leave him be and move on.

He realized things were easier without you and said nope.

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So you left because this guy with “his head on his shoulders” chooses to drink, you tell him you want to slow down, he agrees, THEN he drinks, you smell it on him and pack YOUR stuff and leave… he realizes he doesn’t actually want you and now you want to wait?
Wait for what? He told you he realized he doesn’t want you as a girlfriend… you left. Are you waiting for him to not want to drink? Choose that he wants you? This is fcked.

Bed has been made, move on.

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If he has a kid ,why are you even there ,you can’t build on another women’s property even if she is dead or alive ,her child which is half of her that’s with him and they shared a bond so that’s enough for him.

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Well DUH!!! YOU BEEN DUMPED!!! HE’S MOVED ON!

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You know 5 months is not enough time to get to know a person nevertheless think you love him madly right? How old are you? Mature people don’t rush things

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Did he develop a drinking habit? Or did he always drink? Y’all don’t live together so maybe he would drink when you’re not there. It doesn’t sound like you’re in love with him. It sounds like you’re in love with the IDEA of him and who you want him to be. If someone that drinks is a deal breaker for you then just leave. TBH, it sounds like he made the decision for you. The man broke up with you hun. The stuff about him needing to focus was his attempt to let you down easy. So yeah, you need to move on with your life.:woman_shrugging:t4:

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Ukmm no you move on …idk why women wait got men to choose them, choose you n move forward!

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Move on my dear you can do much better

What exactly is there to wait for? He said he’s focusing on him and his kid and doesn’t want/need a relationship with you. :joy:

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Leave he’s choosing drink over you how can you not see this are you dumb

Nope MOVE ON he needs time to adjust without alcohol and getting his life together if its meant to be it will all come back around but untill then LEAVE ALONE #beentheredonethat

You dumped him and left, he doesn’t want you back. Sounds like a closed case lol

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Sounds like he’s not interested in you and you’re not coming to grips with it. He said he focusing on him and his kid.

Move on honey he said his life is easier without you and he wants to focus on himself and his child. Waiting around will cause you nothing but pain.

You left him and then he realized he’s no longer interested in you. Sounds like a pretty done deal. Not sure what you’re waiting for. Have some self-respect and move on, dear!

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Sounds more like you’re in love with the idea of who you thought he was and what a “great guy” you landed. In the earlier description, it was “he had a good job & had his head on right”. He hasn’t “changed” he just decided what his priorities really are

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He told you he don’t need a girlfriend and wants other things….I think he already made the choice. If your still thinking to hang on, you would be making a fool of yourself. He ain’t who you thought he was. Time reveals who ppl are, his first impression was deceiving and now you know.

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Never choose alcoholism, it is a miserable life

Are you serious? He has always had a drinking problem, you just wasn’t wise to it. And honestly who moves in, or let’s someone move in after 5 months of dating when there is a child involved? Ummm, no, he isn’t into you, you was a playmate, that’s it.

He has decided that you are to controlling for his lifestyle. He doesn’t want to be with you he wants to drink. But telling you he needs to focus on his home and son is a way out not to hurt you…

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There are lots of other men to choose from that don’t put alcohol at the center of their lives. Count your blessings that you left before he let you know , like he did that he didn’t need you. Move on.

Done deal. Move on sis. He isn’t waiting so neither should you. He probably feels that you essentially gave an ultimatum. Choice made…

let him go “I don’t need a girlfriend” is code red in my book!

Hes probably thinking to himself do I really wanna be with someone who nags at me everytime I have a drink :thinking:
no thankyou :upside_down_face: NEXT Lol

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