It’s better to have an open line if communication with your teenagers. Start building that bond now, of course they aren’t going to tell you everything right away. You got to trust your parenting and trust your child. Let them know you’re there for them.
3 Likes
Ok the contrary I didn’t have strict parents and I still lots of stupid things 
I would just set boundaries early, girls came come over but doors have to be open
Curfew is 10 on weekdays, 12 on weekends
Ect
And see how your sons do. They they are home by 9:50 every night then maybe no curfew for the summer or something so they get rewarded for being responsible
But at the same time if I find out your sneaking girls in through your window to avoid the open door rule then now no girls get to come over and your grounded 
Idk my sons only 2 not looking forward to the teen years 
I had strict parents I did some bad things I hid some things they did find out
Im the opposite, my parents were laid back. Obviously no drugs, and if I did decide to drink and wanted to come home, I needed to call them. I started dating at 16 but didn’t feel mature enough to be dating, and 17 when I was ready. I’d asked my mom (who told my dad, which was fine) that I wanted to be on birth control because I didn’t want a baby at a young age. My dad agreed to it because he understands one thing can lead to another and was proud I was taking fast steps. They met one bf, but then I started dating a 21 year old and he didn’t like that, so I hid when I would sleep over at his place. Which they found out. They obhad rules. They had rules and when I turned 18, some rules came up, like being home a certain time. If I had friends over it had to be approved first. Teenagers are going to do whatever, when I for a job I hid that I was smoking pot and drinking every weekend as a senior, now they are hearing about and laughing with me. As long as you keep the communication, honesty, and trust they will tell you things. Maybe not right away, but they are Teenagers and will hide somethinga from you
My parents were very strict and I hid alot. But I’m strict on my kids and my son will tell me everything. I’m strict but they know they can talk to me or tell me anything
Yes my parents were super strict and even as an adult I still hide shit from them because they are also judgemental af
2 Likes
I had strict parents, but couldn’t be as sneaky because they would search my room from top to bottom often. However, I do have problems setting boundaries sometimes because of it.
Absolutely the harder my mom pressed the worse I got but I was also dealing with a lot of mental health issues and was going through some terrible things at the time. But if your open and honest with your kids and you let them make their own mistakes and show them that no matter how bad you’ll be there it will definitely bring y’all closer and will make them more willing to come to you about things
I hid SO MUCH from my dad. My mom knew pretty much everything I did but we kept it a secret from my dad because he was so strict and would go overboard with his anger. I wasn’t a bad kid, I knew right from wrong and I honestly never did anything THAT bad.
1 Like
I do know strict parents cause rebelliousness. Idk if Thats how I say that but my daughters dad had strict parents. At 22 he had to ask to stay the night with my little brother and I. (He was friends with my little brother before me) His father had control of his life and money. Anyways, his sister and him rebelled really bad. His sister was an all star soccer player with a full ride to college and she completely gave it up for a man. 
My son just turned 18. I gave him leeway but he knew the rules. Girls could come over and be in living room when older in room with door open was ok. He could have friends over and I always had parents info. He isn’t perfect but we worked through every issue and i trusted him until he blew it.
Absolutely. The second I turned 18 I went wild because I was never allowed to do ANYTHING my whole childhood.
2 Likes
Yes they certainly do.
Yes. My mum let me have the freedom to make my own choices, she allowed me to take control and trusted me to do so. I never had to hide anything from her, ever. I made mistakes in life but having her there to run to because I didn’t have to hide what I was doing was amazing, we are very close for it now. 
6 Likes
I think so. My mom was strict…more so overprotective than strict I guess… My dad let me sneak out after she went to work and I had to be home before her and if I got caught he denied everything. I only got caught once. I rebelled when I turned 18 and moved in with a guy my.mom hated and she had a legit mental break down. My now teen has been able to do pretty much whatever he wants within reason for his age for always. He is now 17 and doesn’t sneak around or lie and get into trouble. His friends are.good kids and they hang out close to home.
Sneaky and rebellious
I truley believe quality friends are a big key to having good kids.
1 Like
I think so. I was raised pretty strict too. I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere ever. My mom got pregnant as a teen was over board. School, work, home. I became that kid that snuck out all the time. Lied about being at work. And then the minute my mom let me go at 17 I was pretty wild. While I always had good work ethic, good grades, and I was well mannered, I was wild. I was definitely that kid with alcohol poisoning at a bonfire in the middle of nowhere. And for a lot of years I was wild like that. I struggled with relationships because I didn’t want to give up my freedom. I wanted to do whatever I wanted (within reason) without being told what to do
My parents were laid back and in turn I was respectful never did drugs or stayed out til all hours of the night. As long as they knew where I was and who I was with they were ok and I turned out fine. They always encouraged me to talk to them about anything. I think that’s the most important to let them know you’re able to talk to them judgement free
2 Likes
Let him know that you want him to be his own person safely and make his own decisions but there are things you would like him to talk to you about before doing them (ie dating or sleepovers) so you can help him to know what is and isn’t appropriate and probably meet the girl and her parents or the parents that will be supervising him while he stays over.
1 Like
My parents pretty much let me run the streets. I was strict on my oldest girl and she was very sneaky. Wasn’t so strict on the younger one and she was just as sneaky. I just think it depends on the kid. All you can do is what you think is best and cross your fingers. My sister says you have to keep them so busy with sports and extra curricular activities that they don’t have time to get into trouble. 
I think it depends on your idea of strict. I am their parent not their friend but they know I am always there for them and they can come to me with anything. I am strict in that my kids have to do their chores and have their rooms clean before they go anywhere. They also have to have good grades and I want to know where you are going. My kids also have a lot of freedom as long as they are honest and I started this at a young age. If you lie and get caught then you are in ten times more trouble then if they were just honest. I think you have to find a good middle ground between strict and lenient.
Absolutely it does, you try to keep them from doing anything… they’ll only wanna do it more…
1 Like
I think a lack of family causes kids to not be well rounded. I remember as a kid I had my grandmas, aunts, cousins, childhood friends…
Then divorced, moved, and never saw them again. I often wonder what kind of person I’d be if I had my family that was good for me around instead of the assholes I spent my life trying to get away from.
Yes!
Talk to him about everything…dont over react and try to trust him.
Be open to him so he can really talk to you when he need someone to hear him out…
and msg him always when he is out…just a ‘hey take care’ 
…
I was raised very strict. All it did was give me anxiety, make me lie a lot, and make me feel alone in the world cause I couldn’t trust anyone.
1 Like
Its a possibility. My mom criticizes me for being too lenient on my teenagers. Honestly I would rather my kids do things under adult supervision versus being out in the streets making bad decisions. Teenagers know a lot and go through a time just trying to figure out what is or isn’t ok. Its our job to show them, instead of taking it away
I think it really depends on how strict you are along with the approach you take. Being strict about your rules and staying firm is needed but giving flexibility and understanding to your childs needs have to be considered. Build trust and make it so you have an open communication relationship where your child feels safe talking to you about things and it may decrease the sneakiness.
I had a friend who’s mom wouldn’t let her go anywhere, had to check in constantly if she did, and had to turn in her cell phone every night at 6pm. She constantly snuck out and even bought a phone that she hid from her mom. My parents weren’t strict but I always let them know where I was and what I was doing. So yes, I feel like being strict causes a kid to sneak around.
I think there’s a line, a balance. And finding that for you and him may be trail and error. I don’t think putting your kids (or allowing them to put themselves there) in certain situations is okay. Example; if I had a boy over growing up, we stayed in the living room and my mom would hang out in her room, or do choirs or whatever she wanted, but she typically didn’t hover over us. As I got older, I was allowed to be in my bed room but ONLY with the door completely open. I was also allowed to drink, but not get drunk (three drinks max) if I was with my mom. And honestly a rule that saved us a lot of problems, if I was doing something I knew I shouldn’t have been, and I told her about it, I wasn’t in trouble. If I hid it and she found out, and she would, I was punished.
1 Like
Too strict, maybe… But too loose, & your a grandma at…
2 Likes
Yes!!! Give the kids breathing room before they find their own!!!
1 Like
Yes it does so instead go at a different approach, talk to them let them know u get it, give facts and hope for the best
1 Like
No we are to train up out kids in the way they should go. Proverbs 22:6.
If you love your children teach and discipline them consistently and you will be blessed
Most of all share the love of Christ with them. That is true love!
10 Likes
My parents were pretty strict as far as where I went, curfew, etc. I didn’t have a no dating rule though and my mom was very open with talking to me about that stuff. I never snuck out or anything like that. I did have alone time with my highschool boyfriend though because my mom worked so much. (Her and my dad divorced when I was 15 and we moved out.) She knew when he was there though. Still to this day (I’m 31) I don’t want to get in trouble at work and whatnot lmao. And I just now have a 4 year old daughter. So I think the right amount of strict and trust is a good thing.
Yes! My sisters and I did so much because our parents were super strict. We weren’t allowed to sleepover anywhere, even at 18 I couldn’t be home past midnight (prom didn’t count. I was home at 1am though).
Needless to say, it backfired. I snuck out, my sis got pregnant at 14, the other at 16.
It just turned us into good liars and gave me more anxiety than I already had
2 Likes
Yes! Yes! Yes! You can have boundaries,rules and expectations with out being strict.
My daughter is 17 and we have built a strong open relationship with one another. And she respects my rules and is very honest with me. (Sometimes to a fault)
1 Like
Open communication is key with kids. You might not like everything they do but it is how they learn also. I talk to my kids openly and have always told them even if you think I won’t agree, I’d rather be there to support you in your time of need instead of you feeling like you have to hide things from me.
I got pregnant at 17 and didn’t tell anyone until I was 7.5 months along. I didnt feel supported just constantly judged. I felt alone and I refuse for my children to ever feel like that.
1 Like
Yes in some cases I do think over strict parents can cause sneaky kids.
Open communication is key
My 5 children are all grown married grandchildren now, we openly talked about all sorts of things with our children as they grew up so then they felt they could talk to us, hopefully.
It’s not easy all different today, you don’t want them sneaking around, you need them to feel they can come to you about anything, & if they do praise them for telling the truth, they must get off easier if they do come & tell you the truth, otherwise they will not do it again & will just lie to you .
Definitely. I got sooo sneaky as a teen just because I couldn’t talk to parents about anything. Give them space make sure they know they can trust you with anything.
Kids r gonna do what they want to do anyways. If they are having sex and can’t tell you then you miss the opportunity to.make sure they have condoms or be on the pill.
2 Likes
I grew up w the opposite and looking back I wish I had more rules during a teen…I did what ever I wanted basically and looking back I feel like noone cared. Keep your rules and structure cuz i wish i had some. They can act grown when they are!!! Boyfriends and alone time =sex or close to it…let’s be honest…I feel like teens today are way tooooo sexual I know me an my friends where that’s why I had a baby my senior year…I love my kids but I know If I had rules my life would be different now. Do what you know is right. They have their 20s to wild out
3 Likes
My parents had very poor communication and were very strict, and raised us with fear. I was so afraid to get in trouble I never would sneak. But my big brother would.
So i think it truley is circumstantial.
Yes they do its equally important with strictness to have great communication with your child so they feel they can tell you anything. Might not sound that important as children but as teenagers ot could save their lives to know you will help them not judge and punish them.
6 Likes
I think honestly and transparency are the best gifts you can give your kids, and the best tools for their future as well.
9 Likes
I lived with my dad in my teenage years… He wasn’t strict at all, and I didn’t get in a lot of trouble, but he did condone things that I don’t think I would for my kids (he would buy me alcohol and cigarettes when I asked). There should definitely be boundaries but you don’t have to be a helicopter parent either.
1 Like
Build a better mouse trap, create a smarter mouse. Some kids naturally are more sneaky or challenging to the rules, but I know how much I did and how scared I would have been to go to my parents for fear of getting in trouble. It’s easy for me to say this now, as my son is only 6. But even so far, he might get a consequence for something he does wrong, but the punishment for lying is much worse. I rather know what is happening, work with boundaries, building decision making skills, than have a kid sneak around and be too scared to come to me when they truly needed help. I also remember which kids had strict parents and problems that caused later for them.
1 Like
I’m wondering the same thing, now that I’m 18 weeks pregnant (boy). I have a 14 yr old son & although I’ve been strict with him when it comes to manners, I’ve been very flexible as a mom. He had trouble with bullies, so I home schooled him. He didn’t like being around people, so I isolated us both to please him. I always asked what he wanted to eat, where does he wanna go, does he wanna do this or that… I feel like it all backfired on me, even though he loves me very much and frequently tells me he’s very lucky to have me.
But I find he still keeps things from me. And he’s gotten me in a little bit of trouble twice, to the point social workers got involved (but they left me alone right away).
I feel like balance is key, but I’m not sure I know how to. 
My mom pretty lenient and let us do a good amount of things and I still snuck around as a teenager. I think it just depends on the childs personality
Im not an overly strict mum but we do have boundaries… i have installed into both my girls to remember their manners, be kind & treat people how they themselves would want to be treated 
so far so good… my eldest is 14 soon & started going into town with her friends, i ask her to txt me a little something every hour or so just so i know she is ok… i dont want to know where or what shes doing as i trust her completely but that shes ok… we have an amazing open mum/daughter relationship x
8 Likes
I totally 100% agree that communication is the key. The trickiest part is developing a relationship with your growing child that gives them comfort and restrictions without being too hard on them.
You must give a child responsibilities and reward them when they do a good job.
Strict is a relative term if you ask me. Guidelines and rules and expectations are extremely important when raising a teenager. Tell them you love them every single day. Make time just for them.
Be an interested party but not too nosy.
Trust your gut.
And… prepare yourself. Prepare yourself for betrayal. Prepare yourself for the first time you catch them lying to you and you tell yourself 1 million times over there’s no reason that they should lie to you. Then realize that they all do.
Remember that they are trying to be a person that is different from the one that you have known and loved since they took their first breath. Try to give them the space to become that person but still be held accountable for their actions.
It’s HARD! So hard.
Best of luck. 
1 Like
I think you should have an open line of communication with your kids. My parents were very strict but I never did anything bad, but that could go either way. I think you can have rules and your children will follow those rules if you have mutual respect. I’ve always told my kids if I ask them something that if they are completely honest with me then they won’t get in trouble at all. I also told my kids early what sex is, what the consequences are from sex (babies and possible diseases) and about the dangers of drugs etc… My kids always came to me and told me things and we worked through them together and I had rules and they did get punished from time to time but if there was something serious and they told me I was always there for my kids. I have two grown kids (married) and 1 still in high school. None of my kids did anything bad and they came to me with things from time to time, and we talked through it. Be a parent and it’s ok to punish for wrong behavior but always let them know if there’s something serious going on that as long as they are honest with you that you are there for them!!!
My parents set rules and I was OK until highschool 🤦🏼♀ I started sneaking around lying didnt tell my parents things…I had a horrible thing happen at 15… They never knew till I was 18…trust and communication has to happen they stricter a parent is the more a child will wanna counter that amd test the limits…
YES!!! My parents were super strict, and we were sneaky sneaky to get what we wanted. I’ve been more lax with my kids, it didn’t help much with my daughter, but my son was more responsible with his freedoms. It’s been great
It really doesn’t matter they kids will do what they want u can be strict or layed back they still going to try and do stuff behind ur back
5 Likes
I think it depends on several things. You have to build trust between you and your child. Be open, be honest. Overreacting can also cause kids to not trust you with certain things. If you overreact about something minor, why would they be honest when they do something behind your back?
Well it really depends, on how strict the parent is. You can be kinda strict, without being too strict. Being too strict, I believe doesn’t help create trust or honesty between you and your child. Or communication between you guys. My parents were kinda strict. Like I had a curfew. I wasn’t allowed to stay nights at friends that they hadn’t met the parents. I couldn’t go to parties etc etc. But, they weren’t so strict, that I felt I couldn’t do anything. And I didn’t really hide anything from them.
I think trust and communication are so important. I had amazing parents but they were incredibly strict and i did some bad choices by some i mean a lot… watching others who were more open yet still firm about the important things. They have such a close bond. I think its about balance and every kid is different. You have to meet your kid where they are
4 Likes
My mom was strict and I was horrible. Sneaking out, boys, parties, I even had an extra landline phone under my dresser for when she would ground me (everyday) and take my phone.
I have a very sneaky 14 year old daughter. I’m still learning how to deal and pick my battles. My husband is more strict than I am with certain things, especially boys. She has proven to be irresponsible with the little freedom she had so we had to rein it in a bit. We told her she has to earn certain freedoms by proving she can be responsible and use good judgment. My mom pretty much trusted me and gave me a good amount of freedom and I never snuck around or got in any trouble.
No. That’s why kids are being so rude. Parents are not sticking by their rules. If I told mine to not do something then they new not to. I raised fine young men. Thank you Lord.
1 Like
My mother was super strict with me, and as a result I try very hard to be completely opposite. Looking back now since I have a teenage daughter, I can understand why she was that way; however, I never felt I could be honest with her about anything. I think there is a happy medium only you can find with you and your child. It will also depend on your child’s personality, and the type of person they are. Have rules, set curfews and teach them responsibilities. We also have one thing at our disposal our parents did not have and that is the technology. My daughter has to stay on life 360 at all times because I do worry and things are a lot worse these days. There is also a GPS tracker on her car to where we know where she is at all times as long as she is in her car. I trust her, but I do not trust the rest of the world.
1 Like
I think teens hide a lot from their parents regardless. I didn’t tell my mom a whole lot and she wasn’t strict. I’m not strict and my kids are sneaky. They used to “run away” and everything when they were between 8-10. But to be fair I was trying to divorce their abusive father and I had to let him have visits and their father told them to do these things to me. He even told them to beat me up to miscarry.
2 Likes
I’ve personally seen kids doing things behind parents backs because they were strictly prohibited from doing them. It’s always the prohibited things that gets the curiosity bug going. So yes… to a certain extent, strictness can cause sneakiness. Be a friend to ur kids. Communicate and listen to them. Sometimes, it’s better to have kids do certain things like smoking or drinking (because they are curious) in your own home where you can see them as opposed to them hiding it and doing it elsewhere and maybe be taken advantage of. I’m that parent.
1 Like
Personally I think so. My parents were strict on me and I was terrible!!
Yes and it will cause them to never let you in or trust you with anything that they think will get them in trouble even if it wouldn’t
No, I don’t as long as the boundaries are explained. My parents were strict with me but I understood the rules were for my protection even when I disagreed with them.
My parents were strict in the sense of “play stupid games win stupid prizes” as I am with my kids. But I have a very honest and open relationship with my parents when it comes to telling the truth and I’m teaching my kids, as I was taught, it’s always better to get in trouble for the truth instead of worse trouble for a lie. I am strict on manners, being respectful and being who they are without caring what other people think. If you allow them to express themselves without being rude they’ll always want to come to you.
Idk my kids only 5. Haven’t got that far yet. But as far as me going I had the old “my house my rules” approach with no room for compassion and I was extra sneaky. Um thus far my kids basically had the “free range chicken” kinda life style and other than ur usual rules for like health and safety…she was really the best most easy going kid ever. Wasn’t til she hit daycare where her behaivor changed at 5. But I mean like overall even so she’s still like a good kid. I can’t say for future and her rules. But I think it depends on ur intuition and ur kid. Diff kids needs diff amounts of structures and discipline and rules. It’s not like an over all thing. But the free range chicken now for my kid been pretty well and then she just assumes the things we do are how life is. But time changes things so who knows
Yes I believe if you are to strict it will cause issues my parents had rules and boundaries but we’re not strict and I have never been closer to anyone in my life
Yes. My parents were good parents but strict, and I kept a lot back from them.
My kids were awesome two boys-I was not strict at all and they never took advantage -maybe lucky who knows 34 and 30 now and still wonderful
Yes. My parents were very strict and I had to be sneaky. When I turned 18…I was out of control because of it!!
I don’t think so. It’s the relationship dynamic that contributes to kids being sneaky IMO.
My mom wasn’t really strict per se, but we didn’t have a good relationship and so I didn’t trust her or ask her for much. I made my own decisions and let the chips fall wherever they landed.
1 Like
I had to sneak even at 16 to see my boyfriend
I think communication would be great for both you and your son
I was strict with my daughter… she’s 18 and sneaky AF still:woman_facepalming:t2: I now have a toddler and plan to do it differently 
1 Like
I think it effects children. My mom told me i could do most anything until i lied! I never lied to her & things were great. I made straight A’s, didn’t use drugs, & never got into trouble.
You can give them all the leeway you want and they will still hide stuff from you. It all depends on the child and who they hang out with.
My 15 year old, tells me everything. How do I know? Because even his friends know he does. I don’t sugar coat anything. At a very young age, he began asking questions. I answered his questions as he asked them. By the time he was 5, he knew about babies, pregnancy, sex, etc. Most of it came from asking questions about our cat who was in heat & asking how kittens are made. His dad and I have been divorced since he was an infant, so when he put two and two together… he was mortified. (He said, “you and my dad did that?”) As an FYI, I was a goody two shoes growing up without my parents influence.
I think so as well. I was practically kept under lock and key in high-school my friends parents would cover for me and say I was staying the night so I could be with friends and party and date. My child is 6 and I’ve struggled with how to be when she gets older. I don’t want her following in my foot steps I think opening a line of communication and allowing certain freedoms based on behaviors and school grades may help. I’ve never agreed with the opposite sex staying the night but thays my opinion. Educate on safe sex (you know it’s gonna happen) educate on safe drinking and possibly the affects on drugs. Kids will make mistakes but be the person they can call if they ever feel stuck in a pressuring situation. Be an understanding parents versus the overbearing control freak. Atleast I think this is how I want to try and be.
I am strict on my 14 year old boy my his whole life meeting his friends before he hangs out with then the first time. And also the parents if he goes over there. And the parents especially them think I am weird & get mad because I would like to meet them. I would like to see who my son is going around if there safe people from what I can tell or not and hear things from them and introduce myself. Do you guys meet your kids friends parents first? Or like if the kids go to like a park want to meet the kids he is hanging around first?
Parents will have a different reaction to their behavior from each kid… a sneaky kid will be a sneaky kid, unless maybe you remove all rules & consequences
I hid everything… But I’m open w my kids
Well, I was raised in a very lenient house while my neighbor one maybe 2 years younger was a very strict household. When I graduated high school, I knew my limits drinking and really never had any desire to go clubbing. My neighbor dormed for college and didn’t even make it to his first day of classes because he just about got alcohol poisoning and his parents had to pick him up from the hospital the night before classes started. My parents knew as a teenager we were going to try stuff and do stupid stuff. They just preferred we do stupid stuff at home where we were safer and learned our limits before we went into society and something happened to us. I remember getting drunk at my bfs at a party while in hs and calling my mom to pick me up. She picked me up, no questions asked, we got cocoa (drive thru timmy hos ((Dunkin donuts))) on the way home. Next day they woke me up at 6am and had me clean the house. Learned what a hangover was and that even if you feel like crap you still gotta do what you gotta do. I’ve gotten drunk at concerts and stuff but I’ve always known when to stop and have never been black out drunk. I think it depends on each kids temperament but, kids are going to be kids and experiment with stuff whether it’s smoking, drugs, alcohol or sex. At the end of the day, not judging and your kids being able to turn to you is what matters. You don’t want them going oh crap don’t tell my mom I have to hide this she’ll kill me. You want them saying I gotta tell my mom she can help I know she’s a safe place.
I think it depends less on the strictness and more on the relationship
I’ve seen too many children with strict (like truly strict parents) grow up and just spiral out of control. I think it builds resentment from feeling like they have no control.
2 Likes
Communication is key. Talk to your kids about everything. Sex, alcohol, peer pressure. My girls weren’t allowed to date until they were 16. I explained that its ok to like someone and to hang out in a group. But not allowed to be exclusive or alone.
My daughter was 18 called me from a friend’s house to say that her friend had alcohol and she wanted to know if it was OK to try a wine cooler.
A few situations they weren’t honest about where they were and I always find out. Always. They’d get severely grounded. They were made to understand that God forbid something happened we would lose valuable time looking in the wrong place. Which extremely valid.
Combination is key. Each child is different and should be treated fairly but also as individuals.
And please if your kids have food allergies like mine do…it is important for them to understand that they can also have allergic reactions to alcoholic beverages. I am allergic to wine coolers and certain mixers. I’ve also had adverse reactions to some beers. I make sure to carry what I need in case of emergency.
Lots of kids die from alcohol poisoning.
Their friends think it’s funny that they passed out and don’t check on them and sexual assault happens or die in their sleep.
No matter how many friends you have or how close you are… the only one that truly has your back while you’re out…is you.
If you were sneaky because your parents were strict, it’s probably safe to assume your children will be too if you’re strict
1 Like
Yes. Absolutely. There should still be rules, but sex? They are going to do it regardless, educate them and supply condoms/birthcontrol for safe sex. Weed/drugs, kids experiment, make sure you teach them about peer pressure and addictions (same for cigarettes and alcohol). Give them a safe person to go to, not someone they fear when/if they find themselves in trouble/danger. Everyone says that you can’t be your child’s friend until they are older… I think that’s b.s.
I wasnt sneaky but it goes me to go wild when I turned 18.
You answered your own question based on your experience. Yes.
Pretty sure you answered your own question
Personally I do not agree with how your parents did things. My rule is no single date until 16 but they can group date. No one is allowed in bedrooms specially opposite sex but even today with the changes that have/are occurring its no one is allowed in bedrooms. if I do allow in bedrooms I know the person really well but the rule is doors are open. I do not have to be in the same room but its my house I go in and out as I please. Frankly my kid and I are very open about just about everything. I know he does not tell me everything (he does not need to) but I know he tells me the important thing and I do not judge just there to listen and guide and ask him questions for him to think about (he does not have to tell me the answers to the questions) they are have you thought about this, if you did want you want and it does not end how you planned do you have a back up plan. Even though I hope my child(ren) (foster parent) would wait to marriage I know the realities of todays society so my kids know any time the y think they need birth control I will take them. My kids and I like I said are very open we use correct names for thing and they have all been educated on the reality of their behaviors. They also know I will not support bad decision but if they are made I will not abandon them but will help them though the consequences of their choices even if its just listening to them. My kids are very educated about drugs and alcohol and they know it is not allowed in my house they know I do not condone them using it. They also know if they do use they can call me and I will not punish them although we will talk about choices once they are sober. They know never to drive or get in a car with anyone who had even if its a trusted adult. And they do call. they know they can call me 24/7 my phone is always on.
On some levels all kids sneak around it is how they explore their independence if you prevent them form exploring their independence and prevent them from making mistakes and learning from their consequences they will have a harder time as an adult because then they are stuck with real life situations and dealing with them as an adult kid must have a chance to screw up and make mistakes so they can learn from those mistakes. So they can build on that later on in life and know its okay to make mistake we own them and we do what we can to fix them or deal with the consequences. Be there for them to talk to.
Ik you don’t know me but I was raised by a strict mom…she relishes in her being strict thinking it is the reason I went to college and do well when in fact my main driving force is to get out from under her control…and well let’s just say in my experience the biggest issue I see now that I have a background in psychology is often strict parents don’t know when to let go …my mom is STILL trying to run my life and I’m a 39 yr old woman…she once demanded to see what was in my purse, she once grabbed at my rear at age 26 to see if I was wearing undies …so often these really strict parents are actually toxic and you have to move to be really free …she was so strict I think this is why I dont want kids is so i can at least live from 39 plus doing what I want …so restricting your kids can have long term consequences…so take it one rule at a time
We were fairly strict, but very communicative. We have an amazingly loving and respectful 19 year-old, 2nd year University student, 4th Degree Black Belt, and has a part-time job, by choice.
CALLING ALL PARENTS:exclamation:
If you enjoy jokes, memes, drama, debates, chit posting and more come have fun with us in
My aunt wasnt strict but I was a sneaky little shit. Lol. I ran away a lot. After awhile all I had to do was just communicate with her. Call her and let her know I was ok daily and check in with her and still attend school which i was and was even working.
IMO Depends on the kid.
1 Like
Depends on the child but it can definitely.
I think depending on where you lay down rules makes all the difference!!
Like, my kids are still little but we’ll absolutely allow them to date. Go to parties, movies with friends, sleep overs and have privacy etc etc.
But going OUT on dates will be based on age, if their chores and school work is done, general behavior etc.
Kids need rules and boundaries but also freedom and a chance to learn who they are and how to be in a public setting. We as parents of course want to protect them, but how will they become functional adults if we stifle them?
And being open, honest, resepctful and treating them like people creates the foundation for them to be the same with you
2 Likes