Theres a difference between reasonable boundaries and being overly strict.
A reasonable boundary is not having two preteens/teens who are in a relationship alone in the house together or in thier room with the door closed.
Do you need to hover? No. Insisting you must be in the room 100% of the time is a little too strict.
Its completely reasonable to make sure homework and chores are done before they go somewhere. Its reasonable they tell you where they’re going and who they’re with. It’s even reasonable to ask them to check in every so often.
I think with boundaries, sitting down and explaining why they exist is key.
My biggest issue as a kid was the “because I said so” rhetoric.
I’d have much preferred a real conversation and honest reasoning. I’d have accepted boundaries without too much issue if I’d been given that.
My oldest is only 7. I dont lie to him. Only occassionally do I say because I said so…and usually only when he’s in a argumentative mood. Like i could say the grass is green and he’d argue that it’s not.
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My mom was very strict and I was afraid of her and afraid of breaking the rules so I didn’t lie and always told the truth. I didn’t want that for my kids because they should be able to talk to me and I have a kid that just keeps sneaking stuff and lying even though he is told he won’t be in trouble if he tells me the truth! Then my other son who is older always tells me the truth! So dont know!
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My parents weren’t strict but I still snuck out at 1am to go motorcycle riding with a friend with early morning dips in my friends hot tup before motorcycling back home at like 4am and sneaking back in through the basement.
My parents were extremely strict I didn’t do anything but work and school. Not allowed to spend the night anywhere even if it was family. When they did I had to be back by 8am the next day. even after I was 18. I skipped school just to do regular stuff kids my age were doing. Whole reason I have no friends from school .
I believe that strict parenting does cause sneaky kids. Growing up, my parents were kind of strict. I wouldn’t sneak out or anything, but I would lie to them. I would tell them I was sleeping at a friends house and then be somewhere else. Or tell them I was going skating/bowling/movies and be somewhere else. I have an extremely open relationship with my children, my two oldest especially. They will be 18 in August, and they tell me everything. They still ask for permission to do things, but with them being open and honest with me, the answer is usually “yes”. If they tell me that they wanna do something and my answer is no, I actually explain my reasoning to them instead of just using the “because I said so”. Personally, I feel like it’s important to be open and honest with your kids and even early on, allow them to be their own person and make their own choices. I feel that parents who try to control their kids and try to sugar coat things for their kids are setting them up for failure.
Yeah my mum was really strict and I was honestly a nightmare teenager because if it caused me to rebel more and sneak about I think being too strict can cause your kids not to come to you when they need you as they’ll be too scared they’ll get into trouble instead of the help they need
So dating, sneaking out, drinking these are all things that at some point all kids are going to do… this isn’t just a am I too strict thing this is am I the parent or the friend.
Kids need rules they need to know when they break the rules there are consequences. This is at any age an very important during teenage years. Biggest thing to remember is you are the one responsible for whether you kid turns out to be a decent human or whether he eats tide pods and thinks the world owes him something . You can find a balance of mutual agreement ,respect and what’s gonna happen if I do that. Let them know it’s okay to ask to go to the party and when they go its also okay if they call u after curfew because they are drunk and need a ride . Let them know that it’s okay to date but to respect their body and the other persons body enough to have boundaries. Teach them about safe sex don’t depend on the school to do that. Let them know that u have already done all the stupid stuff they are gonna try to do.
When they break the rules punish them, when they talk back punish them … make sure they grow up knowing that they are not the rulers that there are rules to follow or just like in the real world when they break them there are real consequences. Always remember you are their mom not their bff
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My mother wasn’t strict at all. As long as I wasn’t doing anything illegal she was fine. Looking back, I DO NOT want that for my kids. I want them to know boundaries and that someone cares. Honestly, it’s a fine line.
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Yes, yes it does! We have boundaries in our house more so than rules. There are some definitive rules but with that said everything is and can be opened up for discussion and debate in our house with kids. I find having open, honest and clear lines of communication with kids work best. At least it does in our house. My children know they are free to make decisions but are not free from the natural consequences of those decisions. 9 out of 10 times they make the better choices without being told what to do.
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There is a difference between being strict and setting boundaries.
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Strict parents do cause sneaky kids, i wish I could’ve told my mom anything that was going on in my life without having to fear her reaction I would’ve felt more human.
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My grandma was very strict until I had my daughter then after that she realized I wasn’t stupid and let up on me but I hid a lot of shit I shouldn’t have had to. So with both my girls I put it blank with both my girls that you tell the truth nothing bad happens except taking responsibilities for the action you made whatever it maybe. But if you lie straight out you best believe your not getting anything you want when I find out what you did
It was my experience growing up that almost all kids will sneak and lie if they want something they know you’ll say no to. It’s just a matter of degree. My friends who had super strict parents did a lot more stuff they shouldn’t have and then went crazy when they got an once of freedom. My parents talked to us a lot and trusted us to know what the right thing to do was because they constantly were talking to us about consequences. We were allowed to be kids and do crazy(within reason) things as kids so by the time we were teenagers and then adults it was out of our system. We still had rules and curfews that we would get grounded for breaking. We weren’t allowed to date in the true sense until we were 15/16! We had “boyfriends/girlfriends” before that but we weren’t allowed to do more than talk on the phone and hang out at school or in big groups.
Yes. But too loose parents cause troublemakers who think they’ll get away with everything because mom and dad don’t seem to care. Put your boundaries out there, or your expectations but trust them to make good choices. It’s about creating a healthy, supportive relationship.
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Comments helped me out lol I have a preteen and I’m starting to think for the future ahead me and my husband we’re rebels but never got caught my parents weren’t strict either they just told me don’t get in trouble don’t go to jail my daddy say he’d leave me and my mom always said she’d come get me and I had an amazing teen hood and great parents kids are just gonna do what they can I believe
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Honesty and communication.
Yes, at least in my experience as a teen and unfortunately it was following the sane trend even with my young daughter until I changed my parenting style some.
Yes. I learned to lie. But it also depends on how u communicate with your kid. My mom wasn’t emotionally there but if u talk to your kid about things they will understand
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You can be a " strict parent" with rules, boundaries and consequences for breaking those rules and still have an open relationship with your son. 
It’s all about finding that sweet spot where he knows that he can come to you no matter what but where he also knows that his momma won’t put up with no shit or disrespect either.
I always thought my aunt and uncle were strict parents to the point I was afraid to stay the night in fear that they would put me to work as well the way they did my two cousins. Granted they did sneak out of the house but they were not in any legal trouble. But I can say as parents now they both are amazing at that
Yes and no, I was VERY sneaky! But I am also respectful and responsible.
Yes it does and parents who favor boys over girls as well
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I didn’t even read the rest and my answer is. YES.
There has to be an in between . Being too strict will cause sneaky kids but not setting boundaries will create problems too
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I think parents who don’t listen and pay attention to their kids except to punish them cause sneaky kids. 
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No. I have always been strict with my 4 kids. We have high expectations, like be honest, be responsible, be compassionate. They’ve always had chores, washing dishes, dusting, laundry, and any other chore of a household. We gave them warnings first when they misbehaved but if they did it again, there were consequences. The severity depended on the situation. We did spank, but only when absolutely needed so no more than a couple times each, and our kids are all 2 years apart, the oldest almost 22. Other consequences included scrubbing grout with a toothbrush, running stairs, washing walls… I got creative. We didn’t allow them social media until we thought they were mature and responsible enough to handle it. Our oldest got hers at 13, our second at 12, our 3rd at 15. Our 12 year old won’t be getting a social media account for awhile yet. We rewarded them with fun activities or make up or clothes or date night, or stickers when they were littles and had sticker books 
I never allowed foul language, and I was never to be addressed as “dude” “bruh” or anything other than Mom, until they were adults. I swear on my life, most adults who have met my girls have told us they are the sweetest, most thoughtful and kindest kids/teens they’ve ever met. And we are a very close family! Several people encouraged me to write a parenting book, often, lol. I’ll give advice, if asked, but I think every parent does what they think is best for their kids, with only love and care in their hearts. When our oldest started getting anxiety issues at 15, we sat her and the rest of our kids down and talked to them about the benefits of marijuana, and the risky parts. We always allowed sleep overs. But if our kids didn’t have cell phones, or if they did, all cell phones get left in the kitchen to charge overnight. No cells in beds. Boyfriends, or girlfriends, have always and will always be welcome in our home. But doors remain open when they are over. We have allowed boy- friends and girl-friends to sleep over as well. They could sleep in the same room until they were too old (again, depended on maturity levels) and after they had to sleep in a different room. We trusted our kids, so they trusted us. Not one of them has ever snuck out, but I have received a few calls at 2am from my girls cuz the friend they were having a sleepover at wanted to sneak out and she didn’t know what to do, cuz it felt wrong to her. True stories.
Follow your heart 
kids need rules, expectations and consequences. I promise you, they will love you more for them.
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Anyone I know who has strict parents, all their kids lied. Drank as much as the rest of us, had sex, got birth control behind their parents backs🤷🏻♀️.
You have to be strict because now days if the boys go out and get a girl pregnant, YOU the parent is the one that is going to be responsible for paying child support for that child!
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Yes, however even parents who are lax have sneaky kids too. Kids are sneaky. That’s just what they are. If they aren’t sneaky with you, they are still sneaky with teachers, police, their friends, other adults and authority figures, etc. Oh and get this…adults are sneaky too. They will be sneaky no matter how you choose to parent oh, so just do your best. Most kids don’t have hortible intentions, many just don’t want to disappoint their parents so they hide, lie, and sneak around.
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Yeah forsure kids find a way to do things, if you don’t let them date or see their boyfriend/girlfriend they will find other places to do if, so I’d rather them be safe and do it under my roof
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Over bearing parents can definitely cause a kid to act out as they get older. My exes Dad was a Southern Baptist preacher and his whole family was extremely over bearing and judgmental. He was considered the black sheep of the family for years because he rebelled against going to church when he got old enough to decide not to go and he also dropped out of college. His parents really did a number on him mentally to the point that our relationship ended because he became an habitual liar (saying he was playing basketball with the boys every Wednesday, but was really frequenting a strip club and blowing all of our money there). Also, my sister was raised by my grandparents and they were extremely strict—as in she wasn’t allowed to hang out with friends, go to a friends house for sleepovers, wasn’t even allowed to visit her own mom and siblings as she got older. When she finally turned 18 she ended up having a three some with a guy and girl on prom night and her life has basically spiraled since then. She started dating the much older manager of the fast food restaurant where she worked at 16 and is still with him. They have a very physically and mentally abusive relationship. Or at least they did…I don’t know how they are doing now because we no longer speak due to her issues, but I 100% believe my strict grandparents caused her to be so crazy acting and date a much older guy to escape her home life.
Strict parents make intelligent and creative kids… 
think of it as training and prepping your kids to have smarts… and be smarter than you… not just book smarts… but everything else smarts too…
if you are really strict… and your kids can easily get around you… then they are smarter than you already
Not always…You don’t let them run wild either. My dad was NOT strict and I was the wildest teen on the block… way worse than the kids who had strict parents. Who could not hang out with me…
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My mom was super strict and I kept so much from her. Because of that, I believe, it also affected our relationship as adults. I love my mom but we never had that close mother/daughter connection.
Now she has dementia and I feel that there’s so.much we missed out on together.
Absolutely. My parents never gave me trust and I was a really good kid. Never gave them a reason not to trust me. My senior year I was allowed to go to friend sleepovers only twice and my curfew was 9 pm. I finally got sick of missing out on everything and just started sneaking out instead. Never did anything really terrible when I did. I was the “party mom” who kept everyone in line… lol. But it would have been nice to have been given some of the freedom I had earned with good grades and respectful behavior.
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Depends I know kids who’s parents tried to be thier freinds and now they are POS. I know people who’s parents were strict that sold dope. I know people who’s parents were strict and they started great lives. So it just depends
Whatever you choose be the same way every day. I’m strict to my son but I’m strict everyday he knows what he cant and can get away with. Just dont change up everyday and keep your wits about you.
This is a tricky question. My best friend in high school could do whatever she wanted. She was raised by a single father, who felt it was better for her to do it at home. The thing is, she ended up pregnant and had drug/drinking issues. On the same note, my other friends who had strict parents would date, drink, and did drugs behind their parent’s backs. Some of them ended up pregnant and had drinking/drug issues. Kids will be kids, and they will find a way to do what they want. You just have to hope you taught them right.
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I think it depends on the parent(s) and the kid(s). My parents were ‘strict’ and I wasn’t ‘sneaky’ at all. Everybody is different. What works for some might not work for others.
There is a balance of freedom and rules. My sister’s kids never had a curfew but my sister and bil always knew where they were and who they were with. A lot of conversations were had and they have turned out to be some of the best young adults I know. One is in college and the other is in the Air Force… All in all, I think it should be based on YOUR kid. Has he built the trust to be let go or has he been a liar since day one. Just go with your gut Mama. You’ll do fine.
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Yes. My parents were super hard on me when I was a teenager, but not on my brothers. They would give me a time limit sometimes to just go to Walmart, so eventually I just started sneaking out. From about 16 on I would leave my house, and spend the night at friends, and come home at about 5 or 6 in the morning.
They can honestly. You just have to do things in an age appropriate fashion, open direct communication, clear rules and an explanation that makes sense.
NO I was a its ok parent but when u do wrong its. Over .strick is worse.
Because a parent can not have the same feeling mad anger.
My parents were extremely strict. I did sneak around a lot and felt I couldn’t talk to my parents about anything because they’d just get mad. I do feel being too strict is not healthy but being too Lenient isn’t good either. I think there needs to be some kind of middle ground when raising kids