Do things change after having a baby? I have been with this guy for two years, and we have a two weeks old son when I was pregnant my husband was nothing but very supportive sweet and caring, he couldn’t even quarrel with me or get mad, but after the baby things are changing so fast, he is harsh, won’t listen to me or give me the attention he used to, but he is not violent, so I’m really concerned is this how things are after the baby, or I’m paranoid, maybe I should not expect to be treated that sweetly after pregnancy.
Having a newborn is stressful. Everyone handles stress differently. Try and have a serious conversation with him about how you’re feeling. Also, hormones are a rollercoaster especially after the baby is born. So that could also be contributing to your feelings. Communication about your emotions, feelings and the help you need is important right now
***Please do not take the advice to leave. You’re a new mom of two weeks. It takes time to work through having a baby and dealing with the emotions and stress. It can be a rough time and definitely not the time to act impulsively and leave. People are absurd. ***
Dads get PND too… maybe he needs to talk to a doctor?
Leave now. Save yourself the years of bs.
Depends on if your in a relationship with the right person to start with
Things definitely change after having a baby. People don’t talk about the ugly side that comes along with being a new parent. Those first few months are ROUGH! If he’s helping out with the baby through the night, it might be taking a toll on him mentally and physically and it’s coming out in these actions he’s displaying. Just talk to him. You have to in order to have a healthy relationship and work together on this.
The fact you have an addition to your family should make him a more considerate! Something wrong in his head and behaviour!
Yes things change. Life will never be the same. The first year is the hardest. There will be alot of fights between you and him as you both figure out how to coparent this new very dependant creature in your household. But it fizzles out alot after the first year. Once everything is in its rhythm
Men stress just like women do.
Yes, things are different. You’ll both be at your worst from sleep deprivation, PPD, overall financial and emotional stress. Give it a little bit and let things calm down, but they won’t be the same as before baby.
I cant believe everyone us saying to just leave. If this was a woman everyone would be screaming PPD. Which, Dads to get the baby blues as well. Dont leave. Try to talk to him. Find out what’s going on. Mean have emotions too and that’s 100% okay.
He could have depression. I know the stress of having a newborn can really get to people.
Newborns are stressful. PPD happens for men too. Talk it out. Give it time.
Men will feel unintentional jealousy, you have to explain to him that you love him but the baby needs both of you and it requires sacrificing from both sides…its hard…I have 5 kids…
Men can get ppd too! Look it up and after you have some knowledge on it, sit him down and have a discussion. Say you know things are different and stressful. Tell him how youve been feeling and ask for him to do the same
Me and my boyfriend argue all the time, we’re both definitely stressed out and our relationship is a lot different. He was great to me before and while I was pregnant too, to be fair I’m equally bad lol. It got better over time but we still argue more than we did before my daughter was born definitely.
It’s either he is stressed or is just an a**hole. I have been with my husband for 15 years. We were together 2 years when I got pregnant with our son. I got lucky he was sweet before, during and after pregnancy. All guys are different.
Of course your relationship changes when you have kids. The first year after having a baby is HARD.
Sure, things change after having children but they also even back out. I think it the hardest after the very first child. For the mother, you’re hormones are still a bit out of wack, you’re on internal high alert and are trying to figure out motherhood a day at a time. For men, they struggle to understand, sympathize and adapt. They go from having a fairly usual daily schedule to being thrust into a whole new dynamic.
Give it time, have patience, practice communication. Remember that it’s you & him vs any issue not you vs him.
A newborn is stressful and not everyone handles the stress very well or the same. My husband gets frustrated easily when he can’t figure out why our daughter is crying even though he’s done everything he knows to fix the problem. On top of having a stressful job and our older daughter in school it wears on him a little more than me. For me I have a shorter fuse when everyone needs me all at once and I’m over here trying to do all I can to do it all. Once I have a hot long shower or just a few minutes of peace I’m fine . My husband is fine after some sleep. Talk to him and see what you both can do to decompress. It does get better just give it time.
PPD is a thing in both men and women. So just make sure you’re supporting each other and communicating. It’s been 2 weeks. It’s so stressful in the beginning with your first babe. Don’t over think it- just talk about things because you’re both exhausted I’m sure.
Yes things change. Babies cause some stress in a relationship. Things like less money less time together and less sleep. Not saying babies are a bad thing they’re beautiful blessings! But they are an adjustment. Just try to keep in mind this is a big change for BOTH of you. Once you guys get used to being parents it’ll lessen.
Life changes but my fiance never changed after the birth of #9 if anything he became more loving and supportive. Every1 is different tho
Have a talk with him. Because taking on all the responsibility of a new baby by yourself will drain you and you’ll start to resent him. You are making a life together so communicate. He may not know his role is as important as yours
Men get PPD too. It sounds like he has a case of it. Talk to him.
He could be depressed and struggling with the baby. It happens sometimes. Have you tried to talk to him about it? Maybe something’s bothering him and he doesn’t want you to know?
Don’t take the advice to leave. It’s okay for daddies to have feelings too.
After our first baby, my husband and I fought horribly. It was intense. It eventually calmed down and we made it through. When we had our second, it wasnt like that at all. I really really think it is just the huge life change for both people. And the stress and no sleep and you are both new to this.
Talk to an couple who has gone through this things do change, my husband had postpartum depression and I didn’t, crazy know but it was harder for him to accept being a dad than it was for me to become a mom, it’s weird I was the first time mom that everyone assumed I had older kids because I was so chill and then my husband check out completely because he couldn’t handle it. Our twins are almost two we are still going strong, was it easy not at all would I change it no
A baby changes everything
Never had that issue with mine. Talk to him
I mean most the time yeah but I can honestly say our relationship is different but not bad different we don’t argue unless I’m in one my moods but that’s not any diffrent from before or during pregnancy, i have days I just wanna cry and I feel like he’s against me but I know better and we usaly just sit and I pout tell one of us says something to the other just sit back and pout trust me it will save a bumcg of pointless arguments
If he was kind during and before pregnancy, talk to him. Not in the middle of an argument though. Wait until the dust settles. You are surley both stressed. Having a baby does change the relationship, but it shouldn’t be for the worse.
Girl it’s been 2 weeks… slow your role!
Y’all are tired, everything is flipped upside down, you’re emotional, cranky, all of the above! Just mention it to him, in a non accusing way.
“I know you’re tired babe, me too, let’s both remember to just breathe, we’ve got this!”
It can be a shock how different things are. Something as simple as your nightly routine being changed can be a little alarming for some people. Just hang in there mama!
Just like daddy will gain a bit of weight with you during your pregnancy or have sympathy pain during labor, they can also get postpartum depression, though I believe it’s called paternal depression. Babies change everything about a relationship. While they are blessings, there is a reason people say it’s never a fix it to have a baby when there are problems with the foundation of the relationship. It will take time, but as long as you both support, respect and hear each other things should level out soon enough. Good luck to you and your family!
The transition is difficult. Keep communication open. Try to be understanding of his feelings
Adding a baby into a relationship is tough, it will never be the same as it was before. He is probably stressed out, and no, you are not going to get the attention you used to because there is now someone who also needs attention.
A few months after our first was born, my husband and I were eating dinner and I looked him straight in the eye and said, our marriage sucks right now. He agreed, we had a real talk about things, expectations, and how our lives were changing. You will get through it, you need to be understanding of eachother.
If your breastfeeding …it sounds silly but he maybe jealous… talk to him see if he feels left out …”useless” per say that’s how my husband gets so I pumped with my son so he could participate more
Could be stressed out. Its more pressure on him to. Plus your tired and hormones are still all over. Guys need some time to get into a routine.
Maybe because hes no longer the center of your attention and maybe he feels left out my husband came to me after our first born and told me this, it’s not that your doing it purposely just that the baby needs you more and hes been your focus for the past 2yrs or however long yall been together so just talk to him
For a short while, yes, completely normal
I’m not an expert but I will say this. Having kids has taken a huge toll in our relationship. Not just in a bad way but a good way as well. Everything is no longer about you and him, there is someone else that you both need to think about and that can be really difficult at first for the both of you but at the same time, so many things get better. You laugh a lot more, or at least, we do because our son really does bring us happiness. But in your case, it’s only been two weeks. Your hormones are still everywhere, so you may be overthinking a little bit (it happens to all of us) and he is still adjusting as well. Give it some time and remember that communication and understanding each other is key. Congratulations on your new baby
There are plenty of reasons maybe be got depression after baby. Maybe he misses the attention you gave him before baby. Maybe the whole dynamic has him stressed and out of place. Give him time to sort but if its longer than 2 months that’s not really ok. Just ask him how he is dont be suprised if he gets defensive though.
Two words: sleep deprivation!
The game is flipped! I was with my husband for 9 years prior to the birth of our first baby. Had great communication and very comfortable in our relationship.
But after having our DD, the first 3-4 months, I swear we were tiptoeing the line of divorce. It was VERY hard on both of us to transition into parenthood.
It was stressful and tiring and it takes so much of your energy, that it’s hard to give any to your spouse.
But if you have a strong relationship, you will make it through. Just talk. And cry. And then talk some more. And when the conversation starts to go in circles, don’t argue just stop and try again tomorrow.
Men can get depression and anxiety after a baby is born. It could be a mental health issue. If you can, have someone you trust watch your baby for a few hours and take time to talk about how he is feeling.
It’s just been 2 weeks. You both are exhausted. Give it some time
My husband has been amazing the entire pregnancy and now that baby is here. Babe is 3 weeks old and yeah we’ve had a couple little arguments while stressed and tired that we never had before baby. But we’re all figuring out how to be a family of three now and put someone else’s needs before ours. It’s a lot.
It has only been 2 weeks… Parenthood is new for both of you. He also stresses, and is exhausted. All 3 of you are in an adjustment phase give it time for things to sort out. I have a 5 year old, and a 9 month old and literally life is great, and full of love! Just help and love one another❤
Men get jealous because we are so busy with the baby and to do anything, we have 3 aged 6,4 and 2 yrs and he still gets jealous if our eldest needs me
Sounds like he’s jealous of the baby. It’s only natural. Ride things out for a while and reassess.
It’s only been two weeks. Stress and lack of sleep will change even the best of people. Give it time and things will get better. Remember men are very much capable of getting depressed after baby is born too, PPD isn’t only for women.
You’re both just tired… it should pass♡
2 years isn’t along time together. Things still naturally change with time. After kid’s hell yes lots of things change. Even more so the first bit. Takes time to ajust to the new life. No sleep, stress,no alone time, not being all about each other anymore, and the lost goes on. Give it some time.
He has to share his time with the baby now! He no longer comes 1st in your eyes. Be patient, he’ll come around. Continue to take care of that precious baby.
The first few weeks (month or so) is intense with little sleep… just project love
Every relationship is different things usually are different you’re both tired and exhausted. Trying to adjust to this new life you’ve added into your world just try to hang in there and try to make time for each other love each other show each other attention while you can.
Is your only issue that you’re not getting as much attention? Sounds pretty normal, when you have a baby priorities changed, tiredness sets in, and I’m afraid you won’t get the same attention now.
As silly as this might sound, he might not have expected how much work it takes to take care of a new baby and how life changes. He has to share you with this sweet little soul who now takes priority. Also, at two weeks post partum, you haven’t had sex for at least that long and I’m sure it’s the last thing on your mind, but men are different.
Men experience post partum depression and anxiety too, but they’re 90% more likely to go undiagnosed. This could be a reason for his change in behavior.
As a whole, yes things change after pregnancy. Life gets real in a very real way.
He spent a good amount of time bending over backwards to keep you happy. Its entirely possible that any pent up feelings are starting to leak out. Its not entirely uncommon.
When i was pregnant…i was high risk. I had labial pregnancy induced hypertension…anything could elevate it physical exertion and stress being the top two. I also had a 4 year old and my husband was on nights.
My husband walked on eggshells and went without sleep (a lot) to help keep me healthy and happy. Once the baby was born…things changed a bit. There was a distance that hadn’t been there.
We got in one huge fight. Everything came out and things went back to somewhat normal.
I don’t really recommend the huge fight, but you do need to talk to talk to him. Try to have an open conversation. Encourage him to talk to you about how he’s feeling and/or what he’s thinking. Let him know that it worries you that he’s changed so much.
Your whole life changes. Every aspect.
You guys are probably running on minimal sleep and patience. I’m sure things will be better once the baby sleeps throughout the night.
After having a baby it is very stressful for both parents. Because being parents is new n y’all don’t know if you doing it right or wrong. And there so much pressure. But my best advice is to communicate with each other.
No one is sleeping, your hormones are raging, you’re both totally focused on this other human, and I’m betting half of what you’re noticing is just your postpartum brain telling you things. It’s probably not as different as you think it is, or at least, he’s not the only one that’s acting differently. Odds are you’re feeling very alone and overwhelmed, and even if he is putting forth effort to help you, because it doesn’t FEEL that way, you don’t see it. Breathe. Maybe in a week or so you need to ask a parent to stop by and go see a movie with him or even out for a drink. Or the 2 of you can just go take a nap together with no baby to come between you. Have faith that it will get better with time, and if it doesn’t, consider seeing your dr about the way you’re feeling, instead of assuming he completely changed the way he feels about you and your child overnight. If none of that helps, then get couples counseling, but I’m SURE you’re just in your feelings right now and having trouble navigating, and honestly he’s probably having similar troubles and feelings. Come together to help each other through this rather than pulling apart. Talk about it, don’t pull away and hide. And talk about it using your own feelings, not your judgements (i.e. “I feel alone in this, like I have no help and no one loves me.”, instead of, “It’s like you don’t love me anymore and you never do anything to help!” Be honest without blaming. Write it in a letter if that’s easier. Whatever can bring you together.
Yes they become very different. He doesn’t have the attention and time he used to and you definitely don’t have that for yourself either. Along with most likely being extremely sleep deprived and in need of help in many areas. If you’re on night duty then I’d tell him he better straighten up quick unless he wants to take shifts
Yes. Things change. Haveing a baby is the hardest thing I can think of on a relationship. But after the first year you get used to the baby and they start sleeping through the noght and stuff and you get more quality time with your partner (never as much as you used to) but make sure you both go out of your way to nurture the marriage. Cause if you dont you become just weird roommates…
It may be like that for a little bit. Things will eventually go back to normal.
He might be just tired? Especially if he’s gone back to work & he’s getting interrupted sleep.
The stress of a new kid on him plus the sensitivity you have right after baby because of hormones are both big factors. I’m right at a month out from first baby. And the first two weeks of transition once we got home was hard.
It changes, new challenges in life, new priorities. Sleep deprivation, adjustments and I also think it takes longer for men as it takes longer for them to adjust that they are no longer nr1
Fathers get overwhelmed and stressed too with the addition of a baby. It might take a little bit for him to settle into his new role. And yes, a baby changes everything.
I’ll be honest, in my opinion it depends on age and maturity. Because a real man will 100% step up and be the same man he was before the baby. Even if it takes him a little bit to adjust. But if he is really young and just not ready or immature he will probably act differently and it may not get any better.
The first little bit may be different as you both get used to having a new baby in the house and getting back on a schedule.
You’re probably tired and so your husband probably is too.
Maybe try talking to him and see how he feels.
Men show their true colors once their child is born.
For me I just thought all men had to do was have sex then the rest was on the woman. I think it’s an adjustment for men not to have as easy access to you like before because carrying and delivery plus everything else,it’s hard for them to understand sometimes
Adjustment after a baby is hard on everyone. Give it time. He is tired, you’re tired and everyone is adjusting. Keep in mind your hormones are all over and have been the last 9 months and he can sense the change. Talk to him, ask what’s wrong and how can you help. I’m not saying take on the whole parenting role but you have to remember you guys are a team. Keep that in mind in everything you do.
Nothing should change, it should be a happy time for both of you.
It could be lack of sleep. That would make many cranky and out of character. This is a tough period of lots of adjustments. It’s important to be patient and remind him to be patient too. And it’s best to focus on the baby and you can focus on adjustments and healing after having a child and doing so separate from the father. Give each other some space sometimes while sharing quality time together. As long as there is some space then you both will be able to appreciate each other’s company.
And always accept change in relationships. We don’t always give each other the same type of attention, and can’t always spend time together in the same ways throughout a relationship. And that doesn’t have to mean you guys love each other less and don’t want to be with each other. Don’t allow change to make you feel insecure
As long as you communicate and continue to work as a team. You will be fine. Babies are hard no lies. I’m currently dealing with my husband who is laid up from surgery so I have all the roles on my plate. 13 yr old in sports/school activities, 9 month old on the move now and then he needs help with food and self cares. It’s a part of it all. He did the same 9 months ago for me. Be open.
I hate to say it but things do definitely change. I’ve been with my husband a total of 4 years. We have 2 kids together and it seems like after our youngest, that’s when things really changed. And for a while he blamed his job or him not helping me out more. Honestly all he wants to do is play his playstation and be left alone while I the one expected to tend to the kids and house. He helps some and was doing great for a while with helping because he didnt have a playstation. Now that he has one again, hes going back to his old ways.
Is he losing sleep? That can make anyone crazy
New fathers generally only get upset that baby is getting more attention but never looses the role of being the supportive partner
yes it may change. give him some time too. things will get better definitely.
Things really do change. They are supposed to. All the puzzle pieces of your life are rearranging themselves. It will take a little time to readjust and figure out what these new roles mean to both of you. You have changed, he has changed and there is this new baby that is 100% dependent on the two of you. So much to think about. That weighs heavy in our minds if we take it seriously. Be patient w yourself and him. It’s not the fairytale it looks like, this is real life and I don’t mean that at all sarcastically, it just really is different when it actually is reality. You have to talk to him and let him know you are changing too, you are figuring it out too, and you guys can figure it all out together.Remember, even great things cause stress!
All good input and advice above. Also, unfortunately, he can be jealous because he’s not getting the attention he’s used to from you.
Baby is two weeks old. This is new for all of you, and you’re all figuring things out at the same time, with added hormones, and little sleep. Lack of sleep will drive anyone insane.
Another thing to consider is this: he just watched you carry his child for 9 months, go through delivery, and is now watching you go through postpartum. He’s a bystander simply because of nature, and that can be frustrating and infuriating all at once. He may want to help you or give support, but may not even know when or how to do so.
Give it time and communicate with him, which is HARD when mama instincts kick in. Don’t be afraid to seek out counseling either. This is definitely new territory and having some objective help to guide you can be helpful.
This is a hard one because everyone is so different! For us, nothing much changed. But I do know some people who had a harder time with the transition. You feel the way you feel, I don’t think you’re being paranoid. Maybe it’s the hormones, maybe not, either way you feel like he’s being harsh. Be honest with him, you two are a team. It might just take some time to adjust. I wish you the best and congratulations!!
He’s going through a whole new set of feelings he’s never felt before. And he may not know how to process or express them. Everything changes after a baby is born. My recommendation would be to approach him in an understanding, non-accusatory way letting him know that you accept he is also going through changes. And also let him know that it is safe for him to express his feelings to you without fear of ridicule or judgement. But don’t push him too hard to share his thoughts and feelings. Let him know it’s safe to do so, but then give him a little space to process them. If he is mature and truly loves you, he will come around and may even share some of those feeling with you.
Babies are loving and adorable but stressful and hard work the older they get. That will put a strain on any relationship. How you communicate with the partner and voice your concerns about these kinds of matters will determine whether you can strengthen the bond or let it break.
Things do change. My husband didn’t treat me or our son wrong he just worked a lot to support us. When he was home if our son cried he would get a little agitated but would help
This is his true self. You gave a child, so it’s more difficult for you to leave. He thinks he has you trapped, so his true colors are showing. If you have a second child, the bad gets way worse.
Having a baby can be stressful maybe sit him down and talk about how U feel
Men are physical creatures. They like to sleep, they like to eat, they like to poop, and they like sex. A new baby directly interferes with 3 of those things and poops more and your attention has shifted and unfortunately it takes men some adjustment and time to come to terms with the sudden change. When I had my first I remember being wheeled out of the hospital feeling totally weird about who I was coming out and being really lonely for who I was and always had been when I went in to have my daughter. Your dealing with a new body, a little human that’s dependent on you to stay alive, and all the hormones and crazy things we moms go through post-delivery. Men sit back and watch and are like WTF. They don’t know what to do or when to do it and don’t have the instinct we do for the babies.
Could be lack of sleep. Don’t read all these comments and take them as fact
I thing men feel they are no longer important in the relationship and need reassurance that they are still very important to you. Sorry to say but often woman will end up with two babies
My husband got a dog shortly after my first child was born. Never having shown any interest in a dog before
Men can get postpartum too…perhaps he’s struggling and can’t find the right words to express it
He’s jealous of the baby. See if there is a way he can be included more maybe?
Not normal sweetie but remember you are both exhausted. This is the second post I’ve seen like this today. Makes my heart hurt.
It’s only been two weeks, with a newborn in the house lol…
I agree with both comments above…and also…yes things do change after baby.
Your entire relationship dynamic changes. And you have to learn how to be new parents AND relearn how to be a couple WHILE being parents.
My advice is…try to make time for each other as much as possible.
At least 1 date night per month.