Would you be mad if your dad ran off and got married without telling you? my mom passed a few years ago and we were not mad when he jumped into another relationship…but we are all mad that he decided to get married and not say anything to anyone. do we have the right to be mad? its not like we dislike his new wife
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Do we have the right to be mad our dad ran off and got married?
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Why? He’s over 21 and you don’t pay his bills. Not really your business.
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I’d be upset too. I’d see it as a betrayal.
You know what? How about you embrace it and offer your Congratulations…even have a party in their honour…be so very glad that he has found love again…
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He deserves to be happy
Let your dad be happy.
Your mom is gone. Some people can’t grieve forever.
You live your life without interference right?
It’s not betrayal. Your his children not spouse.
If you don’t dislike her then why add drama to the situation?
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Hurt yes, mad no! Listen my step dad lost my mom a year ago and all I do is feel awful he is lonely and worry about him constantly, be grateful you are not constantly worried about his happiness! Congratulations to him 
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You have the right to have your feelings. But maybe there’s a reason he didn’t tell y’all he was getting married. I’ve been married and did so without telling my parents. 
Accept it or don’t either way your father has a right to do things without his children knowing. I know you’re hurt and disappointed but you love your dad and want what’s best for him.
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No. You’re old enough to run your own lives. Your dad can do what he likes with his. Let him have his moment.
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You can be disheartened and feel like he didn’t trust you not to try and affect it.
However maybe they didn’t really think about it.
Thousands of people get hitched on a whim every month in Vegas
If you love your dad be happy for him and understand that sometimes you don’t need to know everything right away I’m sorry for your loss and maybe he felt guilty about it like he was cheating on you.
Hugs. Your not mad
Your disheartened. And that’s ok. That’s a lot of emotions for anyone no matter what age or stage.
He eloped? Congratulate your dad and wish him well. If thats how he wanted to get married then respect his decision.
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No you don’t. It’s his life. His choice
Grief is hard been there
You can be upset at him. But he may have been scared to tell you all. May have felt you all would resent him for moving on, which he may be feeling like that now knowing you all are mad at him. It’s just like us as their child, some parents get mad about who their child ends up with or gets married to. But a parent who truly loves and cares for you will end up overlooking it for your happiness and to be able to keep you in their life without any problems.
It would depend on how old you are. I suppose. If you like her be happy they have found companionship and love in their late life and will no longer be lonely and unhappy. It seems to me life is too short to waste in anger and resentment when you can celebrate their happiness and give them a beautiful reception with family and friends. God bless you and remember Peace is the best way to live. Accept it and tell her thank you for loving and caring for him. God bless them happiness in their old age.
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He’s an adult and doesn’t need anyone’s permission. Being hurt is acceptable but not mad.
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I mean I understand why y’all are a little upset but at the same time I wouldn’t let him know. Let the dude find happiness if he that’s happened.
I mean I understand why y’all are a little upset but at the same time I wouldn’t let him know. Let the dude find happiness if he that’s happened.
May have been insensitive but they’re grown & if that’s the only issue you have with them then forgive & enjoy life💞
Do you tell him everything?
No , right !!! He is an adult he can manage his life as he please , be grateful that he is not alone and driving you all crazy
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Just be happy that he’s found love, this world is a bloody harsh place. I’d be chucking them a party.
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Yes u have all rights in being mad
Yes you do but be sure to let her know it’s not her your mad at.
Eh yes of course you have that right. Especially since you were not invited or there. I get that but sometimes moments are just meant for two people tho.
My mom and dad divorced when I was 13 and years later he remarried when I was 24. I wasn’t mad at him I was happy he had someone to share his last days with,my dad passed in 2016
It’s his life. My mum died when I was a baby my dad jumped in and out of relationships throughout my childhood. When I was in my early 20’s he come back from a holiday told me he was moving overseas and getting (fake married like a commitment ceremony)
He figured his life at least he was happy I suppose.
Every family has a degree of disfunction the key is to communicate.
Best communicate your feelings to him and find out why he couldn’t tell you why he was remarrying.
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Yes you do it’s called respect he would expect it from you he should give it to you
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Think he should have discussed it with you kids first, you have every right to feel upset and hurt.
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You can feel however you want. He doesnt need your permission just like you dont need his(assuming you are an adult).
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If you were important to him he would’ve told you, involved you. When I was 8 my father got married without telling me. I found out from my sister weeks later. I learned at that moment how unimportant I was to him. I stopped trusting caring about him since I knew he didn’t care about me.
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I think that you should be understanding, he lost your mother and obviously didn’t want a big fuss over a second marriage… Let him live his life, it would be emotional enough for him right now.
It’s understandable to be disappointed because you wanted to share in the happiness but this was something just for the two of them which I can understand because my parents kind of did the same thing they wanted to remarry each other but didn’t tell the entire family While some were disappointed it was nothing to be mad over. People elope all time, maybe it was a Spontaneous heat of the moment thing that made them feel like kids again. Nothing was done to hurt you intentionally, maybe ask why if you really want to know, but I would let it go and just embrace your new family member and Applaud their courage. 
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He is a grown man and not required to have approval of what he does unless it’s life or death type of situation…
Kinda like if your over 21 and eloped to Vegas without telling him…
Sure he should have told you but you don’t know his reasons why he didn’t.
Could be any reason why…
As long as he’s Happy i wouldn’t worry about it…
I think you should relax. What’s the point of being mad. It won’t change anything.
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He’s GROWN. He doesnt have to tell you a damn thing you wanna know 
now that said of course your feelings are valid, you’re allowed to feel however you want.
Yes you have every right to be upset
Reading between the lines here. Using words like, ‘jumped into’ and ‘ran off’, tells me you’re a bit saddened and upset with the whole situation. How many years has it been since your Mom went Home? We all greave at our own pace. Could that be part of it?
‘Do we have the right to be mad?’ Not sure about the mad part of this whole thing. I can see you being sad, upset, hurt, surprised, disappointed, and there are many other feelings you could/might have. For me mad shouldn’t be one of them. Though I don’t like the flipped way some others have worded it, your Dad can and should live his own life. It would have been nice if he had included you all in his plans. I would suggest finding out his reasons for doing it the way he did. Since I know it’s his second marriage, and maybe hers too, they decided to just have a private wedding. Maybe even a ‘spur of the moment’ type of situation.
Best to know the whys before you get too upset.
I would be sad and disappointed myself if either of my Parents had done this. No matter what my age is, they will always be my Mom or Dad, I’ll always want to be included in special events like this.
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I wouldn’t use the word mad, but I would say that you do have the right to be concerned. My father did that after my mother died from cancer supposedly so his girlfriend could have health insurance, but she had a full time government job and could get her own health insurance so it seemed as though she was up to something and she was almost twenty years younger than him. It wasn’t too long after they got married that she had an accident at work and claimed to be disabled saying her hand was too messed up to be able to work. When he died, we had his death investigated, but I was told that because of how he died they couldn’t prove that she had anything to do with it as he was already suffering with health issues. My father told close friends that he planned on changing his will shortly before he died because he believed that she had a boyfriend (her first husband), but he never got to and instead of keeping the home that originally belonged to my mother’s mother she skipped town and blew through the insurance money and the house was foreclosed on. Your situation may be entirely different, but I would keep an eye out for strange behavior. There is no reason for a father to secretly get married especially if you have no issues with her, it’s just a little strange.
Several years ago, my mom died of cancer. Three months later my dad remarried. He was her AA sponsor and she had been around for years, but it was still an unpleasant shock. He died three years later, and I realized that I had already mourned for him. Three months was too quick, but years? Get over it. He isn’t disrespecting your mother, he is trying to recreate a happy time.
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I think.you are feeling hurt and left out and maybe a little scared of the change and it is surfacing as anger (negative feelings come from a place of fear) try thinking about it from a different perspective, process your true inner feelings. When you can see it from love instead of anger your feelings /thoughts about the situation might very well change and you may find yourself genuinely happy for him
It’s been years since your mom passed. Let the man be HAPPY !!! He doesn’t need your permission he is a grown man. He probably didn’t want to hear all the backlash and negativity it sounds like you have towards him moving on.
No… sometimes we like to just do things privately to avoid everything. Sometimes a wedding party and all that stuff isn’t what many of us want.
They maybe just wanted just the 2 of them no fuss alot of peoole do this n then tell everyone when they get back, it’s their decision be happy for them as long ad your dad’s happy then you should be happy for him that he found love again. Maybe talk to him about having a wedding reception back home if you want to make a fuss of him and his new wife etc x
Be happy for his. Support him.
I have this same issue with my children (ages 17 15 and 12). I try telling them he has that right, or whatever (lol) but also, I know they equally have a right to feel how they feel. It’s just a sad situation. But good luck to you 
Nope!!! Why …he is grown…,let me find happiness again
I honestly dont believe anger is your true emotion. I feel like your feelings are hurt that yall weren’t included or clued in beforehand. Sometimes hurt feelings and anger feel the same, but that’s my humble opinion.
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Of course you have the right, they are your feelings. He probably didn’t want the push back and or feel judged.
You don’t want him to be sad and alone jeez lol
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My dad did this and invited 3 of My other siblings and left me Out. Damn right to be pissed! Then the lady pulled the plug 
on him months later when he was diagnosed with leukemia
No you don’t ! I assume you are all grown with your own happiness! Allow your dad his happiness 
Maybe just maybe your dad did t want a massive fuss due to losing his wife your mum and wanted to do things his way! Just because you weren’t included the very fact you said u don’t dislike the new wife makes the fact you are having a hissy fit even less valid
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No…you’re all adults. He’s living his life just like you’re living yours. Get over it.
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Mind ya business and let that man be happy
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he’s a grown arse man he doesn’t need to tell you anything, he’s your dad not your kid Lol
Butt hurt maybe but mad no
Your dad’s an adult you are an adult it shouldn’t matter it’s his business you are grown now
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Yes be mad about the disrespect of the relationship your parents had , still love and care about him and even be a little tolerant towards her but you can remind her that she was just a rebound chick (lady) don’t go easy on them and enjoy…because you still need your mom you have feelings, emotions, validity of your life wether your see the worth ( weather you like it or not).
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No, he’s an adult and can do whatever he wants
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No, He must have been really lonely. Also if he is happy I would be happy that he is imo. You dont want him to just sit and get severely depressed!
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Nope. Your dad has the right to a personal life and to move on and find love again.
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My only problem would be if he owned the house him and my mum lived in. Knowing if he passed she would get their house
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He’s a grown man that doesn’t need the approval of anyone to do as he chooses. I’m sure that you continue your life without his approval. You should dig deeper and find out where that anger is coming from. You should also be happy that he has found love and happiness again. Move forward with your life and stop focusing on his. In my experience, grown adult children that interfere or are hostile concerning this issue have ulterior motives.
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You can be mad all you want, let us know where it gets you though. 
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Mad might be the wrong word upset maybe that he didn’t include you all. It might have been upsetting for you all to attend and maybe he tried to save you all the pain. Maybe he wanted it to be a happy occasion and her family were excluded too why not throw a party for them and be happy he is happy and nit lonely you only get one life enjoy it with him and his new wife
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It’s his life let him be happy. Beware though. My dad’s new wife lied about what she would do when he passed and took alot more than she told him she would. Had to fight her in court for 2 years. They were married less than a year.
Nope cause it’s none of your business. He knew you guys would get mad regardless if he had a wedding with you guys there or not.
I think upset is the word sounds like you y’all like her congratulate them and have a party
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My mom did the same thing. I found out when she sent my boys an Easter package with her new last name. I was upset bc I would have supported her but she’s an adult that can make her own decisions
They eloped. Hes not some 17 year old kid that ‘ran away’ on the spur of a moment to marry his high school sweetheart behind his parent back. Throw them a party and get over it.
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I would just let it go–they probably wanted something private and low key.
You’re feelings are valid!! But probably not useful. 
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Probably why he ran off to get married. He didn’t want to deal with your drama.
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You have the right to your feelings, but it doesn’t sound like you’re considering his.
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I would be upset… as u said you have no issue with his relationship, but are upset as his child you were included in such a special moment of his life.
No because it’s no one’s business but his.
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Nope, he is an adult and doesn’t need your approval.
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Maybe he’s an adult and happy to live his life without having to report back to other adults.
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Nope you have no right to be mad. He’s a grown ass adult
Your feelings are valid, what you do with those feelings is the part you should ask. I was 14 when my mom passed and my dad instantly dropped into a new relationship with a woman 5 years and some months older than me and my twin. I harboroed awful hate and anger for a long time because I was still a child and didn’t know how to cope. But now as an almost 30 year old, I don’t want my anger and resentment to affect my relationship with my dad, sister, and stepmom. Being angry takes a lot more out of you than being happy does. Don’t hold a grudge, because that’s just wasting precious time.
You’re entitled to your feelings, but they will do little more than hurt yourself. What’s done is done. You can accept it, or not. What you choose to do will impact your future relationship with your father, so choose your behavior and actions according to your long term relationship goals with him.
No! It’s not your relationship, or your life.
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Yep be upset my dad did the same thing only.thing was we didn’t like her but you are his children it’s a respect thing
As adults, you should be happy for your dad and realize that everything isn’t about you.
Nope he honored the death do us part part with your mom #GrowUP
I’m sorry I’m sure that was very hurtful to you and your family. People on here lack empathy and understanding. If your Dad is willing to listen maybe just share with him without attacking him or the new wife how you feel. Tell him because you love him you wish you were included and whatever feelings you have. Hopefully you can move on together. I completely understand why this is hurting you especially after the loss of your mother.
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I’d. Be. ,. And. Was !!! Mom. Was. A. Good. Home. Maker. ,. Dad. Not. Only. Married another. Woman. The! ##. had.been married as. well! Thats Two. Broken homes"" but. I. Forgive. Him can get. Past it. So.
If. The. Woman’s. Not. Married. With. A. Family! It’s. His. Life
You sure don’t! He’s a grown man. He doesn’t need your consent, your approval or your blessing to remarry. My husband and I eloped. Didn’t tell parents, siblings, children or friends. Of course everyone was upset, but they got over it. We’re happy and that’s all that matters.
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Your feelings are yours and valid but It doesn’t affect the fact that he got married. He’s grown. Yes it probably would’ve been nice had he let you all know first. Just be happy that he’s happy.
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Nope , why be upset … if he eloped … now if he had a an actual wedding n didnt invite that’s different i feel like then yeah feelings could be hurt
Grow up and pick your battles. It’s got nothing to do with your life at all. He’s allowed to move on with out his adult children’s approval.
I was never at any of my dad’s weddings and he got married three times that I know of. (He’s passed on now)
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You can have whatever feelings you want. They are yours and valid. What you don’t get to do is spew them at the grown adults who made theirs choice to be married in the way they wanted. Bc they’re marriage isn’t about you at all.
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Not your business lol
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You 100% have the right to feel the way you do. How ever, your father is grown what he does isn’t your business…
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You have a right to be mad. You have a right to make yourself feel whatever way you like. Should you be mad, probably not. You say your mom passed a few years ago then say he jumped into it. Perhaps he was thinking the it be tough on you to witness him marry someone else. You can be mad, but don’t talk yourself into being resentful, and bitter. Your right to hurt feelings does not negate his right to be happy. Be happy with him.
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Thats being childish on your part
I mean you can be upset but he also can get married and not say. Not everyone tells people.
Mad no, hurt yes. You’re entitled to feel how you feel…but so is your dad. He’s a grown adult…a widower. He doesn’t need your approval or permission to move on with his life. Just embrace your dad’s new life and be supportive.
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I would be mad that he didn’t involve me I mean if it makes him happy I would have wanted to be part of it