Talk to her yourself. She obviously needs some guidance, don’t leave it in someone’s hands that wants to ignore it. The fact that your dude is being so passive is also a red flag. I mean what does he give a shit about if he is being passive about something that needs to be addressed ASAP with his 11 yr old sister?
Tell the grandparent
Why does grandma have custody and not her dad ?
Firstly good on you for sticking to your guns and stepping up for not only your little one but also your 11 yr old S.I.L. Your husband needs to get his act together. These are predators!
It seems weird he didn’t go straight into protective mode.
Seems like Grandma may not be laying down the law quite enough, this girl thinks she’s in charge. She needs therapy and Grandma needs to know so this behaviour can be monitored and boundaries/ restrictions put in place.
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She’ll probably hate you enough for going through her phone!she’ll never forgive you for going to Grandma; sit her down and talk to her; you’re the adult - not a conversation anyone wants to have but far to important to “let it go” who knows what will happen if you leave it?
No, definitely don’t listen to your husband. This is serious and needs to be addressed immediately. Not only the fact that at 11 guys are preying on her, but also the fact that she’s threatening violence against a 3 year old. If something happens regarding either situation, you’ll be kicking yourself in the ass for not saying something.
Why talk to her grandma? She lives with you. Your house. Your rules. And as of right now, it’s YOUR phone. I’d keep the phone. Get a land line. Put a phone for it in the kitchen. She can talk right there with supervision. And I’d tell her why she’s lost having private phone time. A cell phone is a privilege, not a right.
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Who is her legal guardian? You should tell and show them everything. Her behavior is very inappropriate and will only get worse. If they don’t do something about this immediately I would refuse to have her in your house. Your first priority is to protect your 3 yr old. Your husband needs to take this seriously.
Interesting that big brother don’t think it’s a big deal. Leads me to wonder if it’s as serious as you say. Hope it all works out for you when you approach the grandma.
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I would say something.
If she hurts your kid you wouldn’t forgive yourself.
For her OWN SAFETY tell the gran!!!
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I’d be telling the grandmother and to be honest I’d be watching your husband that reaction is a huge 
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Do not let it go and say something! Your husband just doesn’t wanna ruffle any feathers and with things like this you have too! Something bad could happen to her without intervening! It’s very odd to me he had that type of reaction! 
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Ummm tell grandma and THE POLICE. Those guys can get done for grooming her. And the grandma should know so that this child (because that is what she is) can get the help she so desperately needs. Wanting to be sexual at 11 and have tendencies to beat a toddler is psychopathic. Maybe dig into it a little deeper and make sure nothing else is happening like she hurts neighbourhood animals.
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Tell … your not snitching or making a big deal she is 11, and if her life has already be up and down ( by the sounds of it living with grandma ) this type of attention is the wrong attention for her to look for … definitely reassure her that’s it for her safety and any boy that wants her attention will not be speaking sexually he would be interested in her as a person … I feel if this isn’t nipped in the bud it will stem in to teenage and adult life of not knowing her own self worth, as for wanting to hurt your child be calm but direct that you will not stand for such comments ( soon as they feel your against them the rebel even more, be sure to remind her your with her not against her and this is just you keeping her safe and teaching life lessons) good luck x
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This is inappropriate and needs to be addressed before she gets into trouble. I definitely wouldn’t just let it go.
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You have a duty of care to safeguard that child. At 11 years old she should not be having inappropriate conversations with older boys and could be being groomed.
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I would be way more concerned about her talking sexually with way older guys are they pedos or did she lie about her age this is a serious matter i wouldnt worry about wat she said to her friend for the min I would be way more worried sbout the covos she’s having with older boys also she is quite young to be talkin so sexually has she been abused was a used young and very sexually active from a young age so something i would find out if u can and maybe have a talk with her about keeping safe and online saftey as well as sexual saftey she’s obv very aware of it all so seems like she needs that talk mayve also get her on the pill just in case she trys doing stuff I would also check her phone at the end of each day so you can keep an eye on her convos and what she’s doing on her phone and yes she’s young for the talk but I don’t think there’s an age she’s clearly sexual or talkin about it so it’s def the riggt time for her and just makesure she kmows wat she needs to know i wouod also def be talkin to grandma as its serious def do not let this go she could end up having sex getting preg young or someone could try meet her from online and hurt her so no do not leave this at all
Don’t snitch her to her gram make your husband sit down with you and her and talk about what’s going on it is his sister obviously this girl is lacking love and attention so she’s finding it in other places
Am sorry but your gut days say something &
Answer this if it was your child would you want to know?
& Do you want to keep her and your child safe? If the answer is yes to these questions then say something
Am not sorry for saying I’d sure say something about both situations being inappropriate with older boys and threatening to hit a 3yr old aren’t ok think to be saying let alone doing
Need to safe guard
she needs therapy and to be kept away from that toddler. sounds like she was sexually abused if she’s active this early.
Tell the gran and take the phone off her she’s to younge to be on a phone!
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Do not let it go. Tell her grandmother. Her having these conversations with older guys on snapchat could lead to her sneaking out to meet one of them which could result in her getting hurt or killed. I’d also take the phone and not give it to her and show the grandmother what all you found on it.
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Get to the bottom of the issues at hand this c old turn in to a much bigger problem
My question to you is would you want to know if that was your child. Tell gran.
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Tell someone else, the girl seems to have problems already, or just keep you and yours away amd see what happens, if my girl talking to people I don’t know, adult conversation? Call the police
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Tell her grandma she needs to know Now what’s going on with her granddaughter…show her grandma on her phone…that way there is no way for the 11 year old to say it’s not true.
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If Grandma is the legal guardian, any action that may have to be taken will have to be initiated by her. Maybe sit down with this child and try to find out what’s going on. Stress that there will be consequences if she harms your child. Taking her cell phone away for a time would be a good idea, but that may be up to Grandma if she’s the one who provided it. Leaving the legal guardian out of the loop may come back to bite you if anything happens with her and the older males she’s been talking to. Your husband’s reaction suggests that he is either totally disinterested in his sister, or a little “too” interested…if you get my drift. Neither reaction is normal. Trying to get to the bottom of this is important…no matter who it pisses off.
Tell grandma if it was your Child you would like someone to tell you before things worsen
Say something this could end really bad 
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Not normal behaviour it’s worrying
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I would want to know
I can’t believe there’s even a question. ABSOLUTELY do not give the phone back. Take it to Gram and show her what is going on. Really, you should take it to the police. This is VERY serious.
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Say something to grandma. Show her the phone.No matter what he says. It is a BIG deal. Honestly…What’s wrong with your husband?
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Definitely say something. An 11 year old should not be having sexual conversations with older boys unless you wanna see her pregnant by the time she’s 14
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So if you tell grandma, what she go do? She’s in your household. At that age, just blame yourself or whoever got her the phone. When you get kids these phones, this is bound to happen. Not saying it’s right but…!!! Also, limit the phone time. Not letting her be on it all day and night. Only gets the phone if she really NEEDS it.
Also, protect your 3yr old. I would definitely say some to her about that… if not, just let your 3 yr old sleep with you when 11yr old is over. Keep a close eye.
It you don’t make the gran aware then theirs nothing she can do…it needs to be nipped in the bud before it escalates…goodluck…x
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Take that phone and smash it into pieces and do not let her have another one until she’s older. You’re inviting perverts right into her bedroom and damage to her.
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Yes tell the grandma
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Tell her grandmother, bring it to the cops because it’s pedophilia (anyone below the age of 12 cannot legally consent to any sexual activity of any sort at all,) install parental control on her phone to keep an eye on her/restrict apps as needed and have a conversation with her. There is obviously something wrong somewhere else in her life for her to be behaving this way and looking for affection at all the wrong places like that and there is a strong possibility she is being groomed by someone who has no business talking to her. Heads up, this situation is not going to be easy to deal with but it could potentially save her life so please, don’t give up on this girl. Hang in there 
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So I’m not sticking up for the little girl by any means but be careful how you go about things. My nephew is 13 years old and recently ran away(they found him) and the way your explaining her it seems like she would too. To already talk to boys like that. That’s crazy and very wrong but just be careful. Kids these days are not what we used to be growing up. These days kids are suicidal, and emotional and angrier exc. Don’t walk on eggshells but also don’t attack her. Have a sit down with her and talk to her about it. Let her know that Snapchat will be deleted and she will be monitored on her phone. Explain to her about teen pregnancy and how some guys take advantage of young girls her age and they only want 1 thing. Explain to her how this world is and tell her your just looking out for her safety. Make sure you let her know your not yelling at her or mad at her. The more you show your mad the more she’s gonna do it, run away, exc. The whole thing with my nephew is I told my family that he was going to run away and they didn’t believe he would until he did. He also planned out how he was going to kill himself. So like I said kids these days are not what we used to be. Please remember that!! Good luck!!
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Use punctuation! Tell grandma
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See something say something! That’s his sister if I read the first sentence right. He’s not mad that guys a talking sex to her at 11 years old? She’s still a baby. It’s your obligation to say something and possibly help yourMIL do something for her safety. She’s too young to have a phone unsupervised,if she can write it then you or anyone else should be able to read.there’s no privacy at that age especially with all the sex trafficking and scary things that go on theses days. As far as the frond& your child you need to address that also…
Say something children need boundaries and sounds like she definitely does
Say something she is only 11
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That BS with the older guys must stop now! That’s how so many of our young girls without proper guidance get themselves into situations they don’t know how to get out of. Are you comfortable talking to her about it since you help care for her?
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I don’t know where you are in the world but here that would need to be reported. You need to speak to the legal guardian about the phone messages. You could call a safeguarding hotline or talk to the school if you don’t feel Grandma is taking it seriously. It needs to stop before it crosses even more boundaries into illegal. As for the headphones, you need to talk to her about that and maybe offer to buy a new pair.
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My son is 12 and doesn’t have Snapchat or TikTok still has kids Facebook where he is not allowed to see anything inappropriate for kids we monitor his phone his conversations everything he does on that phone! We have this app called family link where he has to get approval to download anything and we can lock it whenever we feel like it
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These are not minor things. Definitely say something
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Thats disgusting that your husband just wants to let it go. She should not be getting that phone back for a very long time
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This needs reported.
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The friend saying she was going to beat your 3 year old is just kids talking shit and yes, I would let THAT go.
Your 11 year old sister in law talking to older boys on Snapchat is the problem here. You absolutely say something. She’s a baby. Someone needs to protect her from making bad decisions…If not you and her brother, then who!?
Definitely tell her grandmother.
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It just like sweeping it under the rug and if not addressed its only going to get worst. Maybe speaking to the grandmother and showing her the evidence and both of u put her sit down and then take it from there. As parent we believe it not a big deal but when it comes to safety and other aspect involved a 11 year old thinking it ok to be messaging older guy that where concerns should be addressed.
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Take phone do not give it back send yourself the proof in case it “disappears” go have a heart to heart with her grandma tell her she needs counseling and strict rules
If nothing is done in a short amount of time I would contact law enforcement about the older mens and her behaviors if nothing more than guidance and advise also family court for lack of proper care
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U need to tell! Don’t matter what husband thanks! Would u want someone to tell you if it was your 11 year old child?
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Grandma and screenshot
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Say something. Predators come in all ages
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I would 100% tell granny about the sexual chat, and I would 1000% confront her about threats of violence towards the 3 year old. Not ok at all.
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Say something! 11 years old is waaayyyy too young for sexual stuff
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Ask your husband if he would want someone to tell y’all if it were your 3 yr old when she’s 11
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You get her in counseling and the phone is no longer hers.
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Huge deal. Say something.
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You are not her friend and vice versa. I would fear for my babies life. And hers with the reckless behavior. Put her on BLAST. Quick.
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This is a big deal and I don’t think you should let it go.
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Not a big deal an 11 year old is getting groomed by 17 year old lads? Is he okay??..
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Grandma is her legal guardian. While she is staying with you its your responsibility to keep her safe and report any inappropriate behaviour to grandma.
If grandma is elderly or a techno phone like me lol…help her set up the parental safety limits that are available now and keep an eye on the online activity …with grandmas permission and tell the girl you’re doing it
I’m all for young people having their privacy but shes obviously not keeping herself safe so the adults must intervene
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This is what I was ask your husband, after I already have talked to Granny.
If it was his 11 year old daughter, what would he do? Would he want to know? Or would he be okay with his daughter talking to boys and being sexual?
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An 11 year old shouldn’t be talking sexually with anyone. I would be very concerned. I would tell the Grandmother. Her phone use definitely needs to be monitored.
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Your house your rules
Something I learned working as a psych nurse with kids, if they say they’re
going to do something, listen, don’t wait until they do. It’s a bigger deal than your husband is making it out to be. Also an 11 year old and a 17 year old are completely different maturity levels, very wrong.
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Big deal tell the grandma and tell the grandma to get the police involved just because someone says they are 15 or 17 you don’t know they could be 30 something and she is 11yrs old not and Adult
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If yalls kid was doing all that you guys would wanna know. He would wanna know if his daughter was saying that stuff. Tell granny.
Throw the phone away that’s all ridiculous
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Well unless you wanna be taking care of her and her newborn, I’d say something…
11? Please please get involved before anything serious does happen. You’re right to trust your instincts this is absolutely not okay
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This is a very big deal & consequences need to happen. Something needs to be said to Grandma & the phone needs to be taken away
Huge deal SPEAK UP AND SAY SOMETHING. this child needs help
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PLEASE SAY SOMETHING. THIS IS NOT OKAY. She should be playing with toys and nothing else. Plus the beating a 3 year old? No way… call grandma.
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I’d snitch on the little ×@$%#. I’d have a talking with her. Omg
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She’d have some rules in my house. I’d tell her to stay at grandmas house permanently if she has an issues following rules etc.
I would ask your husband if it was yall 11yr old daughter doing this would it be a big deal??!!! WOW DEFINITELY A HUGE DEAL
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I’d tell grandma 11 is wayyyy to young to be doing that stuff an as for your 3 year old I’d be monitoring closely
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Well say something of course. A 11 yr old has no business talking sexually to anyone. She may do something she shouldn’t if someone doesn’t step in. To me that’s terrible.
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Your husband is a dumbass. Ask him if it would be a big deal if he caught his future 11yo daughter talking like that to some 17yos. Ask him if he would think it’s no big deal if your future 11yo daughter was going around telling older guys that she “wants to suck their dick” or “I want that huge cock in me.” Don’t hold back on how explicit you get when you ask him. Ask him if he would think it’s no big deal if you found out that explicit photographs were being exchanged between his future 11yo daughter and some 17yo guy. Plus, chances are that she’s also talking to guys even older than 17. I’ll say it again. Your husband is a dumbass. Forget what he says and tell Granny, not only for her safety but if it comes out you knew and never told anyone, I’d assume you’d be in big trouble.
Tell grandma then report these teens she chatting with then bye bye snap chat n phone
You need to talk with grandma let her know what is going on. Please trust your instinct. Prayers for you 
It is a big deal. Phone should be taken away for safety reasons. She has showed she is not mature enough. Explain it to grandma
Say something PLEASE. She is way too young. My daughter is gonna be 10. Shes just a baby… I would lose my shit if someone knew about her doing something like that and did not tell me.
Snap chat back these boys and tell them they are being reported to the cops
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My husband would flip out!!! Something definitely needs to be said!! This is not ok and maybe you can get all those old perverted men reported too!
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If ypu don’t stop it now there’s no telling where it will end
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I’d have my 11yr olds ass in a sling. And me telling my husband to shut his trap. Nip this in the butt before something really bad happens.
Definitely tell that’s dangerous for her
Tell it is a big thing she’s 11 years old for godsake
If he’s ok with it to tell you let it go you might want to ask yourself why?? My child would be 2 important to take a chance… Now days kids can be evil and murders at a young age. Take it serious enough not to let her around your child a lone. When she’s talking about sex at 11 and to older guys maybe she’s acting on something that’s happened in her life that she thinks that’s normal. She needs help.
Saying she wants to beat the 3 yr old is hopefully just frustration on her part and talking shit is a way to help her vent. However the inappropriate sexual messages are concerning and grandma needs to know.
This is not something you keep a secret! Your husband will get over it. You tell. I would also confront her my self at what you saw. She is 11.
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You better say something !
from the mom of a 12 yr old girl … TELL grandma!! This is totally inappropriate and needs to stop! Your gut is telling you what the right thing to do is… listen to it.
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