My husband and I have decided to get divorced, and we are both extremely upset about it but know it’s what we need to do to be happy again, especially for our son. We would like to get divorced without a lawyer since we both agree it needs to be civil, and we both agreed already how our son would do visiting each other. We live in KY. I am so scared of doing this alone…we’ve been married five years, together for 7. I just can’t imagine being a single mom, and I am terrified. Did anyone here ever get a divorce without getting the court involved? I need some advice/support…IDK but I’m scared mamas
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Just file at the courthouse with your written agreement etc . Pay the fee and done
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Most courts off a mediator service.
As long as nobody is contesting the divorce order then it should not be a problem. I did my own for $350 in MI. You will have to file all the paperwork on your own & serve you own papers to the other party… But yes definitely doable!!
I’m not sure if you can get a divorce without something being written in about custody
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With a child involved it may be different but when my ex and I divorced we just signed papers, filed and was done. Was also married 5 years and together 7.
You need an attorney, people change, and to be on the safe side for yourself and your son, hire one…
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Just get the papers fill them out and file at the courthouse. That’s the way I did it
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You can file for a dissolution with children, which is an amicable divorce. You will have to file a lot of paperwork with the court. I did it myself, but it was daunting. If you know nothing about court proceedings, you both should consider hiring an attorney. I get it, it’s an expense, but filing yourself is hard, especially when kids are involved. Share the expense and hire one. It’s in your best interest.
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Not if its amicable. Print out the papers n file it.
There are certain papers that need to be filed with the court still. You can download and fill them out, file with the court and have the judge sign them.
You go through the costs now…people change but get your rights on paper first x
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If you both agree oon everything you write down, both go to a notary together with ID, take to whom necessary. IF you can’t agree on Everything, then get the lawyer. I don’t know all the laws, so read up on laws in your state about divorce. Best of luck dear.
U can print off the papers needed and file them but i would recommend getting 1 lawyer to handle the paperwork and filing
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Even in KY you should be able to file a pro-se divorce. Best to read up divorce laws in your state. Good luck
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You can get papers on your state website. In my state you have to have three copies. One for you one to be served to him and one for the court. If you both agree to go this route then filed them out together.
My ex and I never used an attorney for the divorce or child custody. We worked out all the details of everything between ourselves. We both are very fortunate to be able to co-parent our kids and respect each other. We were married 12 yrs., together 14 yrs. Best of luck to you!
A paralegal is a lot cheaper.
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I started out with an attorney but ended finishing by myself. I know I Ca you van get self help through the court house. They also have people who will help you get the right paper and go over them for free. So I say ask at your local courthouse.
Going through the same thing. Not sure how to handle it. Definitely need some advice
You can print divorce papers, as long as the 2 of you agree on everything, off the internet, and ask the court clerk to file them.
Check your court house, some have do it yourself paperwork you can write your agreement on then file in court house just paying their filling fees
There are services that are mediators and can do it in office
If everything is agreed upon, and no fighting there is attorneys that does a flat fee around $250 to fill out the paper work and file it all with you so you don’t have to do it alone. But, in Kentucky they will require you to do a mandatory parenting class if you have kids.
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My mom did several years ago. She went to some place like Office Depot/ Max, got the legal paperwork in a kit, filled it out, and my dad served on his job. My brother and I were already adults but it can be done.
Paralegals can do divorces too. If you can both agree on everything its a lot cheaper.
I’m on the UK so it may be different - I had a Separation Agreement drawn up by a Solicitor that documented all we’d agreed then I completed the paperwork myself for the divorce - it was sent to the Court in triplicate - they then sent a copy to my ex for signing - once returned everything progressed smoothly. Saved a fortune on legal fees & kept discussions between ourselves.
In my state if everything is agreed on you can get the papers from the internet, fill them out and file them yourself for cheap
I have no advice on the divorce but I understand the worry over being a single parent. I came out of a DA relationship this August and I have struggled to adjust. I have two children and things are very different but you do learn to adapt very quickly! You will be ok!
You should be able to print the paper work. Fill out and file it at clerk of court. At least get an agreement together and both of you sign and have notarized.
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I got mine without any lawyers. But I’m in Idaho
I’m sorry you’re going through it I’m sure it is very scary. To my understanding you don’t have to have lawyers at all if you agree on custody and dividing property you can include that in your divorce but of course you will technically still have to go through the court just won’t need lawyers
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If you and your husband can agree on everything, no need for a lawyer… I didn’t use one when I got a divorce but we also had a peaceful divorce too
I got divorced without a lawayer. However i am now fighting a custody case bc he whined to the judge he didnt know what hr was signing after he signed over rights. 3 years later and still hasnt tried to see his kids. 3 years later im still fighting the stupid thing and he doesnt even live in state anymore. He abandoned the kids.
The courts will still be involved But you just get the paperwork you fill it out file it then “serve” it to him if he agrees he signs it, the difficult part will be the custody and such, if you both agree on a parenting plan and such and co parent you won’t need to file anything for it. You’ll go to the court date then the judge will sign as long as everything is agreed to then a few months later it’ll be finalized. But if you have property together or such you can do a mediation and agree how to split everything before filing everything
I have had both a contested and an uncontested divorce. Neither needed attorneys. The contested divorce did have mediation though.
As for getting the court involved, you’ll have to do that since the divorce is through the court and a parenting plan will be part of a divorce involving minor children. Since you agree on everything, go together to the court house. Once you’re there, fill out the paperwork completely, both sign it, and file it with the courts. That will make the process much easier.
I live in PA and the laws are similar in KY, u don’t need a laywer but u need the paperwork from the courthouse and there is a fee and it has to be signed by a judge for u to get legally divorced
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We didn’t use lawyers, fill out paperwork both sign and agree to parenting plan. Pay the fee when filing the papers
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Me and my ex want to do the same were in IL
Look up a disillusion… (I think i spelled that wrong) you two agree and fill out the paperwork and then you turn it in and pay a court fee. Then they will set a court date then you go in and talk with the judge
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You can file alone and can write up an agreement for visitation and payments a judge can sign. Most the time Kentucky requires parenting classes but with Covid idk what they are doing. I don’t work there anymore but beforehand they used to.
I got divorced this year after 12 years of marriage, we didn’t get lawyers. We also agreed upon visitation with our son before we even filed the paperwork. Even tho I knew it was what I needed to do to be happy I was still very upset about it. Also worried about being a single mom. But once I got into the routine I was much happier
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You need to protect yourself, husband and children from all circumstances…I don’t know about where you are but in BC you can talk to a lawyer for half hour for free, have all questions written down so you don’t forget anything…or is there a place to go like family counseling…
Make sure all financial issues, custody, holidays etc… written down, both sign with notary…
Or it could become a nightmare few years down the road
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Get a lawyer. He can say things now… wait- he will turn around to screw you over!
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No!! Been divorced twice , with no lawyer!!
I would get one anyway. My ex tried and still is trying to screw me over.
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At the very least get legal advice to be sure that the best interests of you and your son are served.
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Check in your county if there is a help center for divorce and custody arrangements. They have them in California.
My ex husband and I agreed on our divorce. Both knew we had no other choice. We have known each other since diapers and were on and off boyfriend and girlfriend at a young age. We’re just better off friends. Anyway-We filed our paperwork and never seen a judge. We did our parenting class together then the judge signed our decree. The one thing my ex and I did do tho, was we agreed on ChildSupport. If we let the courts assign it, he would be paying a pretty penny. So i told him X amount and he agreed. He also helps on anything our son needs. Because he knows he’s making out pretty good on the price we agreed on. That is in the paperwork along with him being able to claim our son every other year for taxes. It was a mutual agreement, but to save my butt for when the “new lady” comes…i didn’t want things to go sour. Thankfully my ex and I are still good friends & coparent very well. That being said it’s scary being a single Mom. It’s been 3 years for me. I started at the bottom in a 2 bedroom apartment with 3 kids. They had the rooms I slept on the couch. I now live in a 5 bedroom house. It’s hard at first, but never give up and you will make it. Find a support system if you don’t already have one. When times are hard, just push through. My fav thing to do is shower and let it out in there. It helps a lot. Make sure when the little is gone, you take time for you. Even if it’s just a relaxing weekend. Binge watching tv and napping or hanging with friends. Most importantly understand this is just another walk in life and you WILL get through this!! 
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Do as much as you can between you. Agree and write it out. Then go to a lawyer to get it checked out. You have to protect you and your child for the future. He can say stuff but then change his mind. He could meet a new partner , get a job overseas etc. ( And he needs protecting too , you’ll could do the same !).
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You are not alone. We didn’t use an attorney. However, we did do mediation because we consulted with an attorney who said we would be more likely to have everything we wanted done approved by the courts if we did mediation. It took no time at all, and no back & forth. We agreed on everything from the start… but its best to have impartial eyes on it & eyes who know legal-speak. Good luck. Its not easy or fun, but a truly amicable divorce can & does happen. My ex is still my best friend. You can do it!!!
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You schould be able to down load and print legal divorce papers ,fill them out and send them in with the fee.i would call your local court house and ask for the legit web site for this matter
You do not NEED a lawyer, but as far as I know, you cannot get legally divorced without involving the court at least once if you were legally married. I will say this… People you think you know will do things you never believed they would do. Please, please be ready for anything to happen. Unfortunately, many of us have learned this the hard way. Hopefully that won’t be the case for you, but it is possible. Take care.
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Yup my parents did. We were both 18+ when they divorced but they got the paperwork and did it all themselves. They agreed to who took what property and spilt the pouts from the sale of their house.
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We had one lawyer - just to do the paperwork for court
Im Minnesota i didnt need one for a mutual divorce
Depends on if your working, if you bought a house with both your names on it, cars,debt, and any other pricey if items.
If its totally civil. Then get it notarized and move forward.
My ex and I did not get a lawyer and he had a copy of someone’s divorce papers but I paid $100.00 for a mediator for advise and it was worth it because we have a daughter and we agreed on joint custody and everything worked out and we are still friends today. From Texas
I’m in Ky. My local circuit clerk had a divorce packet!! All the papers and instructions included for children or no children. Followed the instructions, filled everything out, both me and my now ex went to the notary together and signed everything. And I returned to have it filed, picked my court date, and for just under $350 we were divorced. Took about a month and a half. SOOOOO EASY!
Protect yourself and the kid. It doesn’t have to get nasty. Just make sure that you get what the kid needs. And a custody agreement is so needed. Even in 50 50. You want the rules stated on paper
Personally, I would go through with a lawyer. I thought it would be easy and smooth with my ex. We both agreed easily to everything. BUT then he got himself a girlfriend and she started telling him what to do. Then everything changed and he suddenly did not agree to ANYTHING and without warning kept the kids from me due to there not being a court ordered custody agreement.
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My ex and I hired 1 lawyer to make sure everything involving our children was acceptable. It worked great.
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While I’ve never been through that personally and I respect you want to do it civil and pray that works for you both… I’ve seen and heard of many a situations that start out civil and end up messy. For the protection of all id get a lawyer. But if you want to keep it civil just discuss it with your husband first so there is a game plan going in. Keep communication open.
Make sure you have everything in writing. When they get a new s/o it can pose some issues sometimes. You can file yourself but I would use a lawyer to make sure you have visitation, holidays, medical, childcare, future college payments, child support etc…
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My second marriage we did not have a lawyer when we got divorced. We typed up an agreement ourselves; including who was getting what.
Then went down to the courthouse together and filed.
With your son you need to put a visitation schedule, a holiday schedule, and who will have primary custody. If it is a joint custody agreement you need a parenting schedule. I know right now you both are agreeable and hopefully it will stay that way. But when new partners come into the mix they can screw it up. I have been divorced from my 1st husband for 17 years and still have to call him when he is at work cause we can’t communicate effectively if his wife is involved.
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If it’s going to be cicivl go ahead and just separate . No property to separate and no abuse you will be fine . You can apply for full custody . To easy your mind and then just do visits as you work out . That will easy your mind .
In some states you do not need an attorney but unfortunately Kentucky is not one of them, atleast 8 years ago when I divorced. If you own any property or have children together it was required to have an attorney and go to court. Like I said that was 8 years ago so it could be different now. Depending on what county you are in you can find an attorny to do an uncontested divorce for under 1000. We paid 700 for ours.
The courts will be involved, no getting around that. Get a lawyer, even if it is just mediation. There is so much that you dont think about or know. Especially when you are in the moment.
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I think with kids involved its better to have a lawyer involved. Because time changes things and people. Do it to be fair to your child. Child support visitation even down to insurance ect… a lawyer will help make sure things are done right and fair. And they know the laws. Which are different every where.
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My ex and I just picked up the paperwork from the court house and filled it out and signed it and turned it in and waited for the judge to sign it. Judge sent it back a couple times for us to correct a couple mistakes but we got it done without lawyers
You have to go to court to get a divorce and they usually have a meditator. When my ex and I got divorced neither of us had a lawyer and agreed to everything. It was quick and easy.
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As a child is involved, your best option is to get a family lawyer. You can have civil litigations, but as you were married for so long, you will need legal help separating assets. It’s not that you aren’t going to be civil about it, it’s the legal aspect of separating from a spouse. It’s just easier.
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If you both can manage to sign a divorce decree where you both agree on all the “details”… kids, visit, support, property etc then I dont think either of you need a lawyer other than to just review and explain the paperwork you agree on, what it means and what you’re signing…if you find yourself disagreeing on any minor details then get a lawyer… it’s only going to get worse.
It might vary by state, but I think you can do an uncontested divorce. As long as you both agree to everything you’re good to go. Search online. Or even stop in at your local courthouse and ask them!
I would personally at least make sure you get paper work starting the custody agreement, and get it notarized. Please keep that in mind. Regarding a lawyer, I’m not sure.
Not sure about KY but in my state, I hired an attorney, it was an uncontested divorce we like you all mutually agreed. The attorney charged about 1K we have one child together also. The attorney put together the divorce papers which included our agreement, child support, custody/visitation all that and after one year because we have a child we were divorced. No court. God bless, it will all work out for good. 
My ex and I shared a lawyer I found. Since we agreed on everything it just worked out better.
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If you can agree between the two of you for time with kiddo and both agree to pay for what kiddo needs you will be fine. Biggest thing is if kid is in school. Making sure kid gets there. And then that needs are meet. Bit you can also write everything up and do it without a lawyer if you both agree to terms. Which is the best way to go. That way it is filed through court. In case anything changes later on you are protected
I didn’t have a lawyer. We got the paperwork from the courthouse and talked about everything. I filled it all out and he read through it before signing. We went together to file and then during our court hearing the judge just asked us both to confirm what was in the paperwork. It is okay to be scared. It is okay to struggle. What seems insurmountable now will all one day just be in the past. You can do this.
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I did not gave a lawyer. I did it all myself & even went to court & had my fees lowered. Granted you had to show income vs the bills. My ex is out of state so the lower fees also went to have him served. It’s a scary time but you’ve got this!!
You don’t need an attorney. You can download paperwork online and file yourself. Make sure you look at everything financial, debts, insurance, child support, anything of value. If you are insecure about doing it on your own I would seek an attorney that can mediate and draft the paperwork for both of you. My suggestion would be to do it that way. It’s hard and I’m sorry. But remember to think about your son and his best interest.
You got this!! It’s better to be scared and worried than to live the rest of your life unhappy. Let alone showing your son that’s just acceptable. Good luck!
Got divorced, it was final a week ago. No lawyers needed. As long as you both agree to a parenting plan, there is no need for one. Courts don’t get involved, only if there is no agreement.
I wasn’t married so divorce was never a issue for us. I left our relationship due to many reasons and wanted out , He didn’t.
It was stressful I had two kids at the time and found out the month after leaving I was pregnant with my third child to same father.
I think when you want out for certain reasons there isn’t that awful heartbroken feeling on top of the new lifestyle.
But the whole Single mum thing… you’ll learn the ropes and everything you are worrying about now will just be your normal. You will fall into routine and I think you’ll be surprised. There will always be hard days but the good outweigh the bad 
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My ex husband and I hired a lawyer to do the paperwork for us but we made all the decisions. It was super easy, no child support or placement times via court. We decided it all.
I did it without very easily but we also had nothing to split finance wise like house/car. We went with the standard visitations & put in child support we agreed in which was the monthly child care. Saved lots of money & was quick. I’m in Texas & found forms online.
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The Court definitely has to be involved, but it can be done without lawyers. I would strongly recommend against not having an attorney though.
Don’t divorce. Pray, pray, pray. U guys made a vow and just cuz ur not currently happy doesn’t mean its not meant to be or u will never be happy again. Fall to your knees, repent and give it all to God. But do not divorce cuz u don’t feel happy.
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I got a lawyer and she took care of everything! She typed up the custody agreement and everything. He signed off on all the paperwork and away my divorce went. Got a call 3 months later that it was finalized and could come by her office to pick up the paperwork. EASY. AS. COULD. BE. We also are civil and agreed on custody!
You do not need a lawyer if you know what you want and what each of you will get. But theres so many details that go into the parenting schedule (wknds, holidays, summer break etc) so just make sure you document EVERYTHING!! Pick up times, drop off times, location. Etc! Good luck hun!
You don’t need one if it’s uncontested just need to pay filing and notary fees. With custody you can print out a packet online and get it signed by both of y’all and filed in conjunction with the divorce. I did mine representing myself it was a process but worth it.
I didn’t use a lawyer when I divorced my ex. We agreed on everything, including the fact I was moving to another state with my child. Wrote everything up, went to court, and it actually took less time in front of the judge to get divorced than it did to get married! It always is easier when you can agree on everything and be civil. Some states and/or counties try to make you do counseling prior to divorce, but we didn’t have to do that, especially since we agreed on everything. Best of luck to you!
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Get an attorney! You dont have to go to court, just do meditation but have someone to protect you
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I’m in Indiana and as long as everything was agreed upon between us no lawyer. The judge just asked if we agree upon everything we said yes, she asked if our marriage could be resolved we said no, she granted it!! We printed out the papers and filled them out and filed them ourselves
Depends on the State/County. In Lincoln Cty WI, if kids are involved both parents need to attend a co parenting class. Court is required with or without children.
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If you guys can agree to all terms all you have to do is get the paperwork from the courthouse and file.
Breaks my heart to hear. These are rough times. I have personally seen marriages salvaged when it didn’t seem possible. Divorce effects the children. There’s been a study that people were actually happier 5 years later after really applying themselves putting aside “What makes me happy” There really is a difference in communication between men and women. We have 2 different languages. The vocabulary words chosen by a women mean something different to a man. Just learning this changed so much between my husband and I.
I got divorced back in 2003 and didn’t need to go to court. We did not have a child though. That might make a difference. A mediator can help a lot though. No need for a lawyer if you both agree on the terms.
Men and women be sure and check into what is called the Morality Clause, a lot of people don’t know about it so trust me check into it before you sign anything.
Court will be involved due to the length of time and their being a child as long as you both agree and trust each other lawyers shouldnt be needed, you can always get one just incase