Do you force your child to go to their grandparents?

Mine children with me 24/7 due to the age and health of their grandparents. They love their grandparents but non in a place where could care for my 3 SEN children. It dont help I’m an older mum hence age and health of grandparents. So you not the odd one out. But I make sure my children still have a relationship with them even if the don’t stay over night or provide my childcare.

My parents live in same town in-law and extended family 30miles away we try and get to see the 30miles away side once a week or every 2 wks, I can see my parents whenever but they do have both mine 1 day every 2wks and having their 2nd sleep over in 2wks :grin: mine are 3+7 and I’m lucky that they enjoy going and my parents ask to have them

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My almost 5 year old demands I take her to see her nanny. She has a sleep over most Friday’s and that’s her choice along with her nanny’s. I’ve a feeling she’d move in if I allowed it :joy::rofl: she’s a very independent child.

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Mine almost never had baby sitters because I didnt have kids to dump them on someone else. We both worked full time but worked opposite shifts …I know thats not always possible for others …they visited grandparents often and were comfortable with them …to me thats all thats necessary.

I love having my grandchildren at my house.i adore them. But until a small child gets really used to a place they dont want to stay without momma.you and her visit grandma more to get her used to it.ask grandma to have special snacks and fun things to do while she is there.when she has good memories to relate at gmas house she might want to start doing overnites❤

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I am with my boys 12.5yo and 5yo 99% of the time and they choose when and where they go. Granted we do a lot with my mom and my dad but they dont go chilling at my dad’s house without me.

I also don’t worry what others do or worry about what they think about what I do or my kids. My boys are fiercely independent and this week they step up in a huge way when my dad needed me and I couldn’t be home with them. So my being with them 99.9% of the time did not make them dependent! I have 2 very independent children despite constantly being with them! Guess who struggled?! I did!! 35yo and I struggled being alone and away from them!! Bahaha but I’m making it and they are thriving! You do you and keep letting your daughter do her!

If we have a date day then no they don’t have a choice hahaha but any other occasion it’s really just up to them. His mom is the only grandparent who is close by. we do go with them almost ever other day because we take care of her ( just dr appt. Grocery shopping, to pay bills she can’t drive so we help) they always have the option to stay but no we don’t just make them.

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I don t like the sound of…or thot of forcing a child to do anything!..but sometimes if you don t…they don’t get what s Good for them! I hope you can find a way to include the Grandparents/Visits…in their life!& hopefully they have a Beautiful Relationship!& Great Memories!:gift_heart: but if there s a good reason that s not a good idea .i am truly Sorry!.. You have to do what s Best…!:gift_heart:

Nope… my inlaws or grandparents very rarely see my son so I will never force him to go to their house alone if he doesn’t want to. Just because they are blood, doesn’t mean they are family and if they don’t want a constant relationship with my children, I will not force it :woman_shrugging: but I also stopped making an effort to see the “family” because they never seem to care about us unless we are there.

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I get my grand daughter one day a week. We both look forward to it ( she’s almost 3, so I hope she looks forward to it)

My kids would go to my parents house, my parents wanted them for overnight visits if they wanted them… my kids loved going there… they have great memories with them… now going to their dads moms house was another story. When they told me they didn’t want to do to her house even for 15 minutes… I never forced it… my son will be 28 and my daughter is 16 and neither of them bother with her… I’ll just say she’s toxic. And leave it at that.

I’ve forced my son to go to his grandma house. She needed her pool cleaned and as the oldest grand child I feel it’s something he should be helping her with. His aunt and cousins I’ve with her too so he usually loves going unless I tell her he needs to do your yard work and pool. She’s not to old she can’t do it herself but I feel it’s part of being a family to help out and hang out.

When my first was born we lived in the same town as my in laws. I never really asked for my mil to take my daughter unless she wanted to spend time with her and since my daughter wasn’t speaking yet to ask if she wanted to, as long as she wasn’t crying or feeling unwell, we’d drop her off for a couple hrs and used those days she was visiting grandma as us time. By the time my second was born we had moved towns and we were living with my mother at her time of birth. I had horrible PPA so I never let her out of my sight. But now we’re on our own again and she’s almost 2, my oldest will sometimes go to stay the night with my mother when they both want time together. My youngest still isn’t ready for overnight stays, but when she is, it’ll never be forced it’ll be up to my kids and their nana if they want visit times or overnight stays for their own time together without momma and daddy.

Sounds like she doesn’t want to go alone because you and her is all she knows. If she hasn’t had that chance to bond with them then she won’t want to go. I think its important for your children to spend time with their grandparents, they learn so much and get spoiled with love. I suppose its all dependent on how close you are to them

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I always had my own grandmother and mother living with us so it was not a problem, they babysat regularly but it was our house. I now live with my daughter and have a great relationship with my granddaughter. I cannot imagine her not being in my life. This way she gets the best of everything. My mother also lives with us so my granddaughter has a grandmother and great-grandmother in the house just as my own children did and it is fantastic.

What you need to be asking is WHY she doesn’t want to go. It’s not always a sweet little answer like I wanna spend time with mummy. As most children love visiting grandparents. For me, if my child was telling me “I don’t want to go there, I’ll go but don’t leave me there alone” the alarm bells would be going off in my head, even if the people were my parents. I’m not saying your child is being abused, I’m saying you need to endeavour to be as close to 100% as you can be that that is NOT the reason why this little girl doesn’t want to go.

I work full time, go to school, and on the weekends my kiddo is with her dad :disappointed: it’s hard, but sundays when I get her back I try to get as much one on one time as I can. Different strokes for different folks, gotta make moves to give her a good life

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I have a 2 & 3 year old & my parents are separated with my Dad having remarried to a wonderful woman. My Mother regularly has my oldest as she lives 4 doors away & he basically bounces between our houses on the daily. My youngest stays with me at all times. We visit my Dad & step Mother every week & I stay with them but they live a little further away & my Dad is disabled.

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Force? Never but they’re ready and standing at the door if grandparents are coming to pick them up or if I’m going to drop them off.

For the first time this year my oldest one stayed an entire week even though we only live 8 minutes away. :rofl::rofl:

The baby’s a little bit harder because she’s breastfed but as soon as she’s off the boob I’m sure she’ll be right along with the oldest one.

They love their grandparents (on both sides).

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I personally don’t. I’m a SAHM and I never leave her somewhere she’s not comfortable being alone. She’s 20 months old and attached at my hip most days.

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Growing up with my grandparents is some of my best memories. I am doing the same with my grandkids every chance I get. It will give you a little down time because one day your little one won’t be so little and you will be wondering what happened to “you” and being something other than a mother. Let them go. Go with the first couple of times till they are comfortable then leave for an hour or two and maybe overnight when little one is ready. It’s good to have alone time to destress & refresh yourself.

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Forcing, never. My kids love their grandparents. You gave birth to their bloodline so it lives on. Your child is not just your blood but theirs as well. Letting your child bond with them is an amazing moment for everyone. My grandbabies aren’t blood but I love them and they love me.

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My daughter’s grandparents only see her about once every few months however they keep her for 10 days ish when they do to get as much time with her as possible. I don’t rely on it however it is amazing when it happens because she gets uninterrupted time with them

My kids go because they want to. We have a great relationship with both sides. That said, I raise my kids. No one else. But I encourage a healthy bond and relationship with the grandparents.

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I just ask my kids is they want to see grandma(my mom). Before we moved she was our only family so they were attached to her cause we lived in the same house. Now we live about 2 hrs away. They love to go spend a week at grandma’s house cause they get spoiled. It’s all tears when they have to come back home. My mom would love to have them longer but she is also not as strong as she used to be and the kids wear her down. She enjoys the week she gets to have them and dedicates it to them. My in laws love the kids and see them everyday.

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Never, ever, ever force a child to go to anyone’s house. I know it’s tough, but you only get one chance to raise them and do the right thing.
If the child asks to go, then do it. But only if they ask.

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So you have one?? Yea i have FIVE. and sometimes i do make them go to their grandparents. Im also a stay at home mom. I don’t get a break unless I plan it. And sometimes they don’t want it. Just like im sure sometimes yours doesn’t want you to do to work.

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My kids stay with their grandparents often. We live with my parents at the moment, but they just spent most of the summer with my in-laws and my Grandmother, so their great-grandmother. They have amazing relationships with our family because they do spend that quality time with them. My Grandmother told me how much she enjoyed having my kids this summer, and she just passed away a week ago, so I’m really glad she got that time. I’m even more glad my kids got that time with her before she passed away.

My kids do ask to visit with their grandparents though. If they didn’t want to stay without me or their dad, then we wouldn’t force it. They love it though.

It is very rare I leave my kids without me if they don’t want to the only times I. Do is if I have a adult activity planned for me and my husband and we need it (like once a year) I have hurt my family’s and my in-laws feelings a few times but if they don’t wana go we don’t go they know who they like and don’t so I try to respect their feelings

All depends on the family dynamic. I grew up with my mom and grandparents. My nana and papa are hands down my heros. They took me EVERYWHERE while mom worked. And its the same way with my son and my mom. I could never imagine not having grandparents around and not wanting to be at their house!

The only time my LG is ‘forced’ is when my mum is helping with out of hours childcare. But tbf she prefers it at Glamma’s to home :joy: the other grandparents (4 sets), we make a conscious effort to see but it is planned in around our family time. I’d never force her when she’s older, but can also appreciate from the perspective of a child that just ditched my grandparents that I now feel I didn’t spend enough time with them. When she’s old enough to understand and decide she’ll be given the choice but I will put more emphasis on the importance of time

I work full time and I’m really close with my in-laws so we are over there on the weekends for cookouts and whatnot usually. If we have something going on or a ton of errands to run they’ll watch our toddler. If Gma and gpa go a week or so without seeing them, they’ll ask to watch them and that’s fine with us. Our baby LOVES going by Gma and gpa. If we leave them there it’s only for 2/3 hours so I personally don’t feel like I’m missing too much time with my little. :woman_shrugging:t2:

My niece made her own room at my moms house, she packs her own bag and spends full weekends at gramma’s and most times needs to be suggested to go home hahah, she’s 7 now and she’s been doing that since she was 3/4 years of age. But she also has a younger sister and older brother so I think she does it for peace and quiet :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes::smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Not alone in your ways… we don’t ‘drop’ our kids at our parents house for anything but emergencies or if we are going on a ‘mummy/daddy’ holiday (which isn’t often lol maybe once a year). We always thought we were the odd ones out too! And if we go to the grandparents, we usually stay for the visit also. Weekends are for spending family time, especially because we are at school/work all week. Enjoy this time with your baby :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

I was a sahm and my parents got my son whenever they wanted. When he was three he would call them and ask them if he could come over. Also once a week, my mother, my son, and I drove 75 miles to visit my grandmother, take her out to eat, stroll around the mall. It is so important for children to have a strong bond with their grandparents. But, since I stayed home, it was easier for me to facilitate.

Do ur thing but as a grandma we love our grandkids 4 boys and the only girl lives with us and we love her so much

If it’s from the time they are born, they bond with grandparents & beg to stay with them. I have been blessed to keep my grandkids a lot. Our home is their second home.

Sometimes you just have to tell your children that you need some me time and you would appreciate them going this time. Then promise to do something special if they behave while they’re there.

No, my kids don’t leave my side. Ever lol. I have left them with grandparents so that I could go to the doctor during Covid, but it was no longer than an hour. My kids are 8, 3, & 1 they have never slept out. Sometimes I do wish I could have just 1 kid free day to rest or catch up on stuff. I just remind myself that one day they will be grown and not need me by their side forever. :heart:

My grandparents had me on the weekends while dad wirked vaise i wasnt in school those days
Plus i got to bond with them and learn a lot about our heritage and making cool stuff!

My child is never at his grandparents. But that has nothing to do with him or I. Just sh*tty family on mine and sperm donors sides. As well as my boyfriend who has been there b4 my son was born, they only ask us to constantly watch his older brothers child. It’s been a little more than 5 years since him and I met. He is “dad” to/for my child, his biological father doesn’t come around for him (or any of his other kids).

My kids are always with me :woozy_face: Except maybe once a month or so when they go to Gram’s for a day or two. But they only go IF Gram wants to take them AND they want to go. I wouldn’t force anything & I make sure they know that if for any reason they want to come home, I’ll come get them.

You’re not the oddball here. My kids don’t see their grandparents a lot either. They’ve only stayed with them without me there once.

Honestly, I don’t force anything. My parents (whom are separated) put so much effort into my babies like they are their own. Always try to take them when they can or at least hang out for a couple hours. Mind you, I started having kids early on so my parents are still pretty young & have a lot of energy. But since I moved out when I was 16, they try as much as they can to see my littles. It’s also kind of nice to get a little break here & there. I’m so grateful how much my parents are involved with my babies. It’s just more love going around. (I work part-time as of right now due to me being pregnant & having hard pregnancies)

My son is 6 and still won’t spend the night anywhere without me! I say wait until your child is ready, never force anything

I don’t force my kids to anything they don’t want to do unless it’s things like brush your teeth and finish your homework. Just because they are children, doesn’t mean they aren’t people with feelings and choice.

My kids don’t stay with there grandparents x

Mine goes if he wants to. Sometimes it’s an hour sometimes it’s all day. I hate just throwing him on people, so I’m constantly texting asking if he’s still ok there :joy:

Im a SAHM. We all usually spend time on the weekend. My parents take her and play with her and my hubby and I get to talk alone without OMG baby.

If ur child doesn’t wanna go see someone & literally says they don’t wanna go why force them? She clearly doesn’t wanna go.

Let her choose. Forcing her will make her resentful

Nope. Don’t have a relationship with one side of my family and I don’t see those people.

My daughter’s 3, I’m a sahm, she doesn’t go to daycare so her grandparents and great grandparents are the only way I get some time to myself. She stays at my husbands grandparents every second Thursday. Then she’ll stay at my mum and dads for a night or two every few weeks, usually during the week. She rarely stays places on the weekends because it’s when my husband is home and he wants to spend time with her. She’s been spending nights with her grandparents since she was under a year old and I still feel guilty every single time🥲

My son loves to see my dad, his papa. They are so similar. It’s so cute. My dad and I hang out too. But my father still works. So he comes over when he can. But he offers to watch my son if I need a break. My parents did watch my son when he was an infant because they were right down from my job and I still nursed him on my lunches. And day care was and still is stupid expensive here. But no. I never force my son to spend time with my parents. But… He doesn’t like his father’s mom… he refused to go there. Mainly cause she yells a lot and she’s not a nice person to be around

Maybe let them have her for a few hours every other weekend? it sounds like they want time with her and when you’re there they don’t get attention from her and it makes it awkward.

I’m a stay at home mom of 4 all under 3 yoa… daycare would be $440 a week & that price is with a $10/kid discount (cheapest around here) or I would absolutely LOVE to go back to work! (putting that out there for the “Karen’s” :rofl::sneezing_face:)All four are ALWAYS with me & have ONLY been away from me MAYBE 2-3 times in their whole lives, and those couple were most likely when I was going to give birth to their brothers or sisters lol… my babies love to visit my grandmother but they never stay with her bc they are all a little too wild for her alone and she is up in age, and we have no contact with their fathers side as far as grandparents go… but I say all of this to say, no we may not have this issue, but they do beg to stay with my Nana (their only grandparent) and if she were not 82 years old & comfortable with them staying the night and over a period of hours I would most def leave them with her without me. I wouldn’t force either of my babies to spend time if they didn’t want to every other day or anything like that… but if they did not want to spend any time at all and their grandparent(s) did, I would urge them to stay just a couple of hours maybe once a month or so & who knows maybe they’d grow to love going! Just my opinion, but it’s worth a try I believe bc sometimes it just takes that push for them to realize what they’re missing & things they could possibly enjoy doing!

Enjoy the time with your little one

Vanessa Sobczak and this is why I’m going to do what I’m about to do

The only reason my kids are forced to see my ex mother in law is because she took me to court. Otherwise no I wouldn’t force them.

Its such an individual thing it really depends on the family … now it sounds like you are comfortable with her trying visits there but maybe shes having a hard time seperating since she never really does it often kids will be upset for a few mins after seperating then realize they settle in and enjoy them selves why dont you start with a couple short visits and see how they go . What works for some wont work for everyone . Do whats best for you and your little one

Nope, my partner and I come from very toxic households and we don’t even talk to either side of grandparents. (Their choice) but even if they were in our lives I wouldn’t trust either side with my children. Especially the one that says my children cannot call her anything but Jessica. No gma, no mawmaw, no nana, nothing but Jessica and she smacked my first born in between his eyes once for pulling on her cats tail after she told him no. (He was 1!!) She has 16 cats and I already asked her to not discipline him like that. She did it again. So I refuse to let my children over there.

I think my kids would prefer to live with my parents (they have a pool and an endless amount of sweet treats) :joy::joy: I don’t work, so I’m quite happy and so are my kids, to have them ‘tuck and roll’ from my moving vehicle :joy:
I’m lucky as I know my mother in law would kill to see them more but she lives 4000+ miles away. She adores all her grandkids too.

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My mom helps watch the boys when I work maybe two or three days a week, she loves it. Ive told her over and over of she wants to stop I can get a sitter but she made me promise to never send them to anyone lol the in laws are usually too busy to babysit but we visit on occasion.

My kids just recently around 3 ish started seeing his grandparents (just 1 set of 4 lol) once a week for around 4-5 hours. I’m a SAHM so I dont.get alot.of.time away besides.that. maybe you could have them take her.1.day a week instead of.daycare? Then you wouldn’t feel like youre.missimg her, and they would get more.consistent time. Have you asked her why why doesn’t wanna go to.their house?

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Nope I dont force my daughter to go anywhere she dont want to go and that includes the grandparents house. Her daddy wont ever force her to go see the sperm donor either anytime we said that they were coming to get her she would throw a huge fit and cry until her daddy promised he would never force her to go anywhere

I’ve honestly never had to convince my kid to go to any grandparents house, he loves going. He’s normally the one bugging me to go lol

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Wise Mama. Grandparents should ask if they want children to come!

I think a connection with children and grandparents is special and a nice bond to have. We don’t know how long any of us will be around. I’m so grateful being able to know 3 of my greats and all of my grandparents and still having a few alive so my wee man is lucky to have met 3 of his greats as we never know when they will decide to leave us. Hubby sadly didn’t remember his Grandads and we lost both his nana’s. As for our sons grandparents now we are lucky to have steps also so he has extra love and he’s the eldest grandchild for both sides and is adored by all. Unfortunately my parents/steps and all my family do not live in the same town so he’s never going to be able to just go for a sleepover or just over to his grandparents it’ll be holidays there or sleepovers when we all go until he’s older. My in laws are in the same town and my mil would love to have him all the time if she could. Grandparents are there to spoil them a bit but it can end up to much, we would love when he’s older to be able to go have a sleepover and enjoy it, be picked up from daycare or school and hang out with them and know they are welcome if he wants to but then also not get to a point where he doesn’t enjoy it, when we were sick or parents were away or had a function or school holidays we would often go to our grandparents and it wasn’t always fun. They can help save $$ with one day a week instead of childcare for the day and most parents love that they are a grandparent now and can enjoy them and then hand them back, they’ve done there bit of there own kids and it’s special now they have a grandchild. They are experienced and have more time usually - some can be so old school and times have changed a lot and they get stuck in there ways of what they know and will always say we did this, back in my day this but they also have to listen to the parent cause at the end of the day you are the parent and they are the grandparent. Different house, different rules too but Your children will always love you more but they should also love and nurture and respect there grandparents too and they will prob get away with more but know that when home your the parent and kids usually play up for there parents more than other people. We will never let our children not see there grandparents or other-way round.

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My parents pick up my Daughter for the day every other weekend, she actually had her first sleep over at my parents last month. I’ve been a single Mom to my 3 year old Daughter for 6 months, I work full time and she goes to the Day Care, so I love the weekends with her, especially since she has a 7:00 bedtime routine. My ex-inlaws make more of an effort to be a part of my baby’s life than her Dad, and he lives in the same community as us.

I don’t force my child to go to neither of her grandparents my side or her dad’s side. But she does enjoy going to my mom’s when we can. her grandparents on her dad’s side don’t even come visit her or call/text to even talk to her or see how’s she’s doing but his dad and step mom have favorite grandchildren and his mom lives out of state. My child barely knows her dad’s side of the family besides his sister and she’s like the only one my child likes going to see on his side. But I wouldn’t force her going to either family members if she doesn’t like them or is uncomfortable with them.

As a Grandma I can tell you not everyone has the option of daycare. I am glad to help out so my daughter can work.

is there a reason she doesnt want to go? is someone there making her uncomfortable ?

If you have to force her to go, then you need to ask why she doesnt want to. Its very peculiar, I have to pry my kids away from their grandma when its time to come back home. Whats happening at her grandparents when you’re not there, that she isnt comping at the bit to go?

My daughters asks to see her grandma. They have a great relationship.