We have this issue with my stepsons. Both my husband and I find it disrespectful and inappropriate for them to be swearing (it started when the youngest was 9 and oldest was 11), but their mother didn’t care that they were swearing. Fast forward 3 years and it’s out of control. His oldest drops the f bomb nearly every other word, can’t seem to speak without swearing, and neither child has any respect to stop when their father tells them to stop. It’s at the point that their mother is fed up with it because they now swear at her.
Neither of you are right or wrong. Parent your children how you want. As long as they’re safe and healthy… why’s it matter? And as long as the kids are being respectful… it’s just words.
Your parenting, your business.
I would question sending my son over there. What else is she going to try to pick you apart about? Let the kids stay friends but I wouldn’t want that type of person around my son, thinking they can openly judge how I parent? In front of them? Nope!
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I think as long as they know there’s a time and a place for that then it’s no big deal. Raise your kid however you want.
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So my spouse and I deferred on this as well. I have no problem with any of our kids dropping a few F bombs or S bombs ect… around me, on the condition that they aren’t directing them at any one. Stub your toes, let loss, cut your finger(s) open, go for it. Forgot something, have at 'er, With in reason.
My spouse just doesn’t like hearing the kid’s swear. So, the kids know to tone it down when he’s home. The odd one that may slip out really doesn’t brother him all that much. But if they were dropping them alot he will say something like “k so and so, time to stop that.” Weatch is fine. They sometimes will go a little over borde with it.
Shit, my five year old has the mouth of a sailor at home. But she also knows better than to swear around anyone else. Especially other kids. I don’t find swear words to be disrespectful unless they’re aimed towards another person. That’s where the line is drawn.
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When I met my boyfriend his 12 and 15 year olds were cussing even at him and all day long. I cringed at every sentence when they cussed. Kids are going to cuss not around them around other kids but to do allow that around adults and an all day thing is bad. It becomes second nature to them so even when they are an adult they will even do it professionally. I am with your friend, I think that’s bad parenting. Why would a 13 year old need to cuss? I told my kids that when they are out on their own and an adult they could do what they wanted. It’s never been a problem. That’s just my opinion though.
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Key thing in all that to me "when my parents wasn’t around "
Idk to me I don’t just let mine… and I have a almost 16 year old… but im not perfect parent and my kids have slipped up here and there…
I use the “I bet you best not say that again look” and keep it moving… but they aren’t about to openly just swearing… aht aht
You’re the parent. You choose how you want to raise your kids. I have 4 myself. I know 3 of them cuss when I’m not around. The other her friends have picked on her because she doesn’t. It doesn’t bother me as long as they know that there are other words to use that are a more respectful way of speaking in general. I tell them if they are going to use the cuss words to use them appropriately and at the right times. Other than that you know teens will be teens. They push boundaries and limits. You do you
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Wow I agree with the friend he’s showing disrespect by using those words ! I use them but not often and my 20 yr old won’t use them still as an adult
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Nope, it’s trashy, especially from a kid.
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I can not stand it when anyone cusses, especially a child. I just think it’s so disrespectful!
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I cuss, but I don’t want my kids cussing until they are older, I’d say probably 16 17, I’d let it slide, but my 13 yr old son is still corrected when he curses.
It’s called respect ! You have that right obviously because it’s your home. But how would you feel if you’re sons were cussing in front of your parents or at school . I personally would be embarrassed especially since their older and if they are using those words now they will always be apart of their vocabulary.Teach your sons how to be respectful,kind ,decent adults.god knows we need that in this ugly world we’re living in.
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Well both my partner and I admittedly swear more than we should.
My step son was never told not to swear by his mother, and he swears way too much. We tried telling him there’s a time and place for it since he moved in with us at 12. Now he’s 16 and is getting better at it as he’s maturing. My 11.5 year old has never swore in front of us or any adult that I know of, and says he just doesn’t use that language.
My 4 year old tries to swear but gets shut down quickly.
We are both trying to curb the language the best we can, as we both are guilty of being examples. I personally don’t care if someone’s swears, but feel children shouldn’t be using that language until they understand what it is they’re saying, and why they use those words.
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I allow my teenagers to cuss around me and their stepfather. They are free to express themselves and I want them to be comfortable around me. We have a very close relationship and I want to keep it that way. They hide things from their bio dad and I don’t think that’s right. My kids are straight A students, they both work, they both have cars, and bills they have to pay. So I don’t mind it!
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Nobody’s right, it’s how you chose to parent. My 16 cusses at home occasionally but has never had a single problem at school, he is very polite and respectful, good grades, so I don’t nitpick other behaviors, I choose my battles.
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I let my son express himself too they are just words he never says anything out of anger or hatred to anyone so I don’t mind it! Sounds like your friend is a little stuck up it’s your kid not hers 
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As long as he doesn’t call me names he can cuss. We have never really cared about that.
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I do as long as they aren’t cussing at anyone and they don’t do it at school or in front of my grandmother.
I cuss all the time and if they need to vent, I let them vent.
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You can be express without cussing so why? What is the benefit of allowing him to do so? I personally don’t but my step sons mom side of the family allows him too. It’s caused a little issue with my 8 year old but I enforce beyond measure. It’s just tacky for a kid to speak beyond their years. 
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Really depends on the parent. I mean they will cuss either way we all did. And personally if your child isn’t cussing “at” you or others I don’t see the issue. But to each their own.
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No… it’s disrespectful
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No no. That’s just not right
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I never would have allowed my 13 year old to cuss around me or any adult it’s one thing if kids cuss around other kids that’s gonna happen but your son to be allowed to cuss is another and apparently your best friend doesn’t like it that’s disrespectful and some adults don’t like hearing that language from a child’s mouth
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I let my daughter cuss at home or in the car as that is her safe place. I just see them as words and my husband and I both cuss like sailors. We have rules tho if we have friends or family around then she has to ask if she it’s ok to “use words” (that’s her code that she needs to vent) I tell her yes but be creative (our code in front of friends and family that aren’t to fond of cussing)
My sister in law lets her son only cuz in her jeep or in his dads man cave
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Not in my house.
There are so many other words in the English language… why do they have to use the most crass ones?
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There is no excuse to ever use that language
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use of obscene or taboo language - or swearing, as it’s more commonly known - is often seen as a sign that the speaker lacks vocabulary, cannot express themselves in a less offensive way, or even lacks intelligence.
I say shiitake and frick and substituted words around my kids. Not that it’s any better really. Lol
Since it’s your kid, you get to choose how to raise it. There’s no right or wrong. My kids can cuss at home as long as they aren’t saying anything about or to anyone. You can cuss and still be respectful. At the end of the day, they’re just words and making them not a bad thing makes them less exciting for a kid to say.
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She is. Your job as a parent is to teach and bring him up to be assimulated into our social norms so he can be accepted and productive. You allowing him to cuss is not it. He will be considered lower class if he does not learn his words are not acceptable and to use language that is. This is also looked at being uneducated and disrespectful. Sounds like you arent doing your job as a parent toward him.
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everyone has their own opinions about this, so you will get everyone’s. I didn’t cuss in front of my kids when they were little & grown ups, Nor with my grandkids. When I hit 60 yrs old, I did start cuss. But still won’t do in in front of my kids or grandkids. Everyone else, gets to hear it often 
Now as for your son to cuss, I personal wouldn’t allow it nor do I think it’s proper for him to do it, but again that is my opinion. As for him only doing it in front of you, again your choice, but he is also doing it with his friends & outside the house. Again this is what you allow him to do
My gf son does I don’t let my kid. 
people are different. I’ve even told my son it’s ok at home but nowhere else just to see and he still won’t.
As my daughter gets older we allow some. When she started her period I told her she earned the right to be allowed to say “hell”. She is a straight A student who works her little tail off in and outside of our home. As long as she keeps up the good work we can’t complain!
I’ve let my 16yr old cuss since she was 14. I told her I wasn’t ok with her using the F-word or calling me or her father bad names. She still has to respectful at her grandparents, friends & dads but at home I allowed it b/c I know she was with her friends.
I use to fight my boys on the words coming out of their mouths and throwing the middle finger. However, watched the more I got onto them the more it happened. So, I took a different approach. I decided to work on picking the appropriate filter for the situation.
We cannot control what comes out of their mouths when we aren’t around. What we can do is teach them to use the appropriate filter for the situation.
As a middle school teacher I hear it in the hallways and I look at my students and I ask them what filter they should use in the situation…. And so on….
Kids these days do not see them as the taboo words that we often saw them as. They hear it everywhere…. TV, radio, stores…. Words are words. It’s making the words match the situation. My oldest some was bullied for saying he was parched at school instead of saying he was thirsty. Parched is not a bad word but it created a situation where his peers decided that it was a reason to bully him….
My kids are 7, 14 and 14. I don’t say “oh it’s allowed” but I don’t say much to the 14 year olds when they do. As long as it’s when they’re in their rooms or talking to each other, playing video games or they’re talking to me about something and they say something. They get it from me and my husband, our mouths are not the greatest. My 7 year old has said one here or there but knows they are not words we speak outside of the house. My kids are put together and very respectful so I don’t worry about it. Do what is best for you. But make it sure your child is being respectful about it because not all parents are okay with it.
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I think your both right you have a right to chose how to raise your kids and what you decided is how you want to parent it’s not good or bad it’s just a choice every house will have this topic and every house will have its own rules about it and THATS OK long as he knows his boundaries within it I see no problem my kids are still little so we haven’t had major talks about it but our biggest is when they pay their own bills they can say whatever words they want but if they are living in my house and I’m paying their bills then they are not adults and should not use adult words 
is it the best way probably not but it’s my way lol
Just words can really hurt someone so just words is a really bad excuse for you allowing you young teen have a foul mouth
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I allow it occasionally not every other word n not in public
I mean when I was a kid saying cuss words was the first “secret” I kept from my parents. I figure our home is my kids safe space. They are allowed to be 100% themselves within these walls and I allow them to be most comfortable here. The good, the bad, the ugly. We have discussions about when it’s appropriate and that we never cuss at anyone. But yeah my 8 year old is allowed to cuss time to time. Honestly he knows he can but he rarely does because we haven’t put too much focus on it so he just chooses not to. There are so many more serious things we put importance on. Like how we treat each other. He will get punished for being mean/unkind way quicker than he would for yelling shit when he hits his foot on a chair. But that’s also my choice as his mother. I wouldn’t judge anyone for not allowing their kids to. But my friends know and respect that when the come into our home that my kids are safe to be in their home with no judgement. So it’s never been much if a discussion with my friends. My parents don’t love it but they rarely come over so it’s not much of an issue. 
Our 14 yr old cusses. We dont mind.
I have only heard one of my kids cuss when he was 2 and his dad was driving and called another driver an a-hole. and he repeated it. Almost 14 years and I’ve never heard any of them cuss other than that which doesn’t even count. If they did I suppose my reaction to it would depend on the context of their cussing.
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I dont cuss often but I do let my kids and they rarely do.
Nope. My son is 17 and I hate hearing curse words come out of his mouth.
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Well just like any other words, as long as you teach them the proper time to use them and not to do it offensively, there shouldn’t be a problem. However, it could also depend on the maturity of your child
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I don’t agree with my gkids cussing, one day at my daughter’s house my then 16 year old gson got mad, he’s always had a short fuse, he told me f you grandma, oh I’m not in best of health, but get me mad, i get my second wind, ready to attack him, seen all 3 of my gkids stick their middle fingers at each other, ages 19 17 13, my 17 year old grand son, been needing anger management for years, told my daughter he’s a ticking time bomb, he will love on you one minute, n hitting on you next minute, I’ve beaten his butt few times, because of his ways,
Not allowed in my house but to each his own, I have 3 adult children that still won’t cuss in front of me and we don’t allow our 14 year to do it either. I’m sure she probably does it around friends but as long as she doesn’t do it around us or other adults.
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I just think it’s not something to be encouraged. My 20 year old daughter says words sometimes and it makes her ugly to me so I just ask her not to use them around me
This may make no sense to some and all the sense to another. I have 4 kids. Two are 17. One I don’t mind if she cussed I know it is appropriate use of it and she’s not going to go around sounding like a sailor. The other NO nope not happening… Has it… Yes and he has been disciplined for it. He has anger issues and from the very start after hearing swear words has used them as weapons to hurt others. He is currently in trouble bc he got mad at me and then said at least I’m not a whore like my sister… Smh. He’s called me a B**** and all kinds of names. Has more words for his dad. It’s not all the time now bc he loses privileges and has been counseled on domestic violence bc it is domestic violence the way he does it, not to mention at times he has got physical. I also have 2 younger children in the house. I just prefer mine not cuss as much as I can help it at home bc the younger ones like to copy. While being at Walmart my 3 year old goes, " I hate this shit." Not gonna lie I laughed, couldn’t help it. But I don’t think his Pre-K teacher will find it as funny. I just said yep your dad does too and kept walking. I’m just pointing out while it may be fine for some it may not be best for others. To each their own. There’s no right or wrong. I think that’s something up to each parents discretion.
My parents allowed me to cuss when I was 14 but no F word, B word or C word
I would never allow this in my house. I feel it is disrespectful to use foul language. It makes the person sound uneducated to consistly drop the F- bomb in a conversation. Using this type of language becomes a habit
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My 3 year old drops damn on like a regular basis it’s just a word
There is no right or wrong here. However, her telling you it’s bad parenting is wrong. It’s your child, your home, nothing wrong with what you are doing.
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We don’t use the word cuss or bad words in my house we call them adult words but as long as they don’t use them in school yes we allow it
Nobody is “right”. But I will say this, if he’s cussing at home, at 13, he’s doing it out of the house and ppl see that. So, as long as you’re ready for the judgey Karen’s, do you.
At the end of the day, they are your children. Parent how you choose.
The problem with cussin is once it becomes normal language- it’s harder to keep those words from leaving your mouth, when it’s wise to do so. Places like work, school, etc.
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As long as they aren’t cussing at an adult but just dropping the words in conversation then it’s okay.
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her 13 year old is more than likely cussing behind her back already.
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Tbh idc if my 14 yr old cusses. Just not in front of her 7yr old sister or grandma. They do it anyway (like myself at that age) so 🤷 I’m just glad we’re very open with each other and she can tell me anything. So I do not think your a bad parent
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At the end of the day it’s ur kid ur parenting
Both of you are right. Because it’s your own child and you both parent how you wish and your decisions (given they aren’t bringing harm to your child or another) are not wrong decisions. So just do what you wish with your child and move on. Same to her. I would however help her with the convo with her child as to the fact he still cannot say those words just because your child can as that may be her concern. Her child acting out because he sees your child doing something he can’t (which will happen all his life) but as her best friend I’d offer to stop in there qnd help with that conversation.
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Except for using God’s name in vain, they are all just slang words. They aren’t pretty but I guess it’s up to parents.
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Honestly as adults we have to learn we cannot cuss in a professional setting school/work. So as long as they stick to that I think it teaches them early to be mindful and it also builds trust with you and your child. Although I was never allowed to and not sure how my other half would feel to let our daughter cuss in front of us. I see nothing wrong here as long as they are smart about it.
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I view it as disrespectful, I didn’t allow my 3 to talk that way in my presence. Two of mine don’t speak that way in my presence as adults. The other doesn’t excessively cuss and never directly at me. I just feel like you get your point across differently being calm and not derogatory. The one who is screaming and cursing is usually not the one who is right. Only speaking on this because it was asked.
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No. It’s a respect thing. I have two older boys, 13 and almost 12. They don’t get to use cuss words. Why would they ? They’re children. There’s zero need for it.
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My child is 5 and she loves to say don’t have a sh!t fit. It’s cute but she knows not to say it around anyone but family. So I have no problem with it. I cussed from 5 and up.
Let’s be honest…who here wasn’t cussing around their friends at 13? You’re just letting him be himself around you.
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There isn’t a right or wrong in that debate. You’re both moms and each mom is allowed to do things differently without it being considered right and wrong.
Personally my child is 3, turning 4 in the summer. I let her cuss. She every so often will drop and F bomb or S word when she falls, drops something, her baby doll doesn’t cooperate with getting dressed etc. she doesn’t cuss at daycare/pre school. She doesn’t cuss when we are out and about (except the occasional S word when I drop something or run the grocery cart into somethin 
) she doesn’t really ever use the words. I personally don’t care as long as she isn’t using the curse words to say mean or hurtful things or call someone a name. She used them in proper context:woman_shrugging:t4: each mama is gonna be on one side or the other here so you’re not going to get a “who won” the debate here I’m sure. If it works for your household then cool, and if her way works for her kids then cool.
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ABSOLUTELY NOT! I DON’T OR I try VERY hard not to…
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I raised my children with “adult” words being cuss words and " bad" words being words that are derogatory towards someone. I don’t think cussing is the worst thing a child can do, so occasionally they say them. They are just words and eventually will probably say them anyway. I would much rather my child occasionally slip and say a cuss word then using hateful terms.
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Whatever works for each of your families is right.
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Rule in my house is as long as you’re using the word appropriately and not directed towards somebody to be mean it’s an okay word to use. If you stub your toe and say shit it wasn’t to be mean and it’s appropriate context then it’s fine. But we aren’t gonna be calling each other bitches
Her son is swearing up a storm too, who cares either way as long as that kid NEVER swears at me it’s all good 
I don’t think they should.
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Every parent will have a different answer. I don’t allow mine too because I also hardly cuss. I find it to sound ugly. It’s something that isn’t necessary. Each parent does their own thing due to everyone is different.
That f bomb would have gotten my teeth knocked out till this day around my parents! It’s a no for me!
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No I don’t I don’t think that is appropriate language for children. I have a 7 & 8 year old in the house as well and I don’t want my 14 year old talking like that and then his sisters think its ok. Plus I would not want my son talking like that around other kids and their parents get mad at my kid cuz they started talking like that because of my son.
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As long as it’s not f this f that non stop. I understand it happens but some kids go way to far however it’s up to u.
I respect people enough not to use cuss words in public. To me, cuss words are used for a reason of explanation or action. Hitting your thumb with a hammer by accident, stubbing your big toe, accidently shutting your finger in a drawer. Being cut off in traffic, someone that cuts in line, lies and cheats to get something, etc. Cuss words are Action Verbs and express an explanatory ACTION. Used in every day language, they are fillers: Examples-- Like, ya know, ya see, etc and carry no action, show lack of expression, and misuse or knowledge of vocabulary.
I allow my 13 year old daughter to do it at home only. She knows the difference between cussing to someone or at someone. Believe it or not, because of some of the troubles she has gone through mentally and emotionally, her therapist agrees with letting her do it at home. I won’t go into the details as to why, but it’s an outlet and freedom that she needs, but knows Not to abuse. In conclusion, who gives a fuck what this so called Best friend thinks and why does she think she has the right to tell you how to parent or judge You!?!?! I’m sorry, but she is the only problem I see here
My view is, we were “taught” those words are bad. But are they? Us as adults cuss all the time and it’s “okay”? But adults loosely let their children say the word “stupid” or the R word and it’s okay, those are the words that are degrading and disgusting. Not the f work or S word. To each their own! My child is not allowed to say stupid or any other mental damaging words to anything or anyone.
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To each his own. I’m old school. My parents didn’t allow us to cuss because it wasn’t lady like etc.
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Na. As a kid i knew cussing was disrespectful so i didn’t around adults. Friends oh ya we all cussed up a storm but not around adults…theres a matter of respect kids these days do not have.
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It’s your business and you decide what’s acceptable in your home. As they say, pick your battles.
I would just tell your friend “thank you for your opinion”
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My 13 yr old boy curses all the time. I hate it. It’s ugly and disrespectful I think at that age. No I ground him for it. Now shit and damn is diff but big words no. He needs to be respected and won’t be talking like a sailor.
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We allow our 13 yr old to swear as long as its never directed in anger towards anyone.
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I’d say neither of you are right or wrong. Parent your children how you see fit. Everyone has different views and different parenting styles and what works for one family may not work for another. I say you do you and if you don’t have a problem with it then go with it and let her worry about her own kid.
I taught my kids not to call people hurtful names but as far as swearing, honestly I don’t really care. When they’re young you have to teach them not to use those words so they don’t get in trouble at school but as they get older as long as they know not to use them at school and what not then I don’t really care, tbh.
They’re just words. Just teach them that there’s a time and a place and don’t direct them at anyone.
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No,I find it disrespectful, still don’t cuss around my parents or in public.
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Your use of language demonstrates your respect (or lack thereof) for yourself and others.
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Nope. Using adult language, in my house means you perform adult tasks such as going to work, paying bills and all that jazz. I mean, dont get me wrong if she were injured and let one slip she wouldnt be in trouble however it is not allowed to be part of her regular vocabulary until she is a bit older. Not sorry.
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Eh doesn’t bother me saying shit or crap is the same thing to me really. That being said I didn’t swear around my parents until I was an adult or of their home partially it was a respect thing. I do have a sailor’s mouth on my best days and my friends and I talked like that all the time.
No, it isn’t ok in my eyes…If they are allowed to do it around you, imagine who else they use that language in front of…Image walking down the street, and hearing other kids cuss up a storm, now that is your kid using that language because you allow it….To me, cussing isn’t cute coming from a child
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I think if you make a swear a restricted word it’s more enticing for them to use it when you aren’t there to hear it. Allowing your child to use those words as a form of expression isnt a bad thing in my book. As long as he/she/they aren’t directing those words in a way to cause emotional harm it’s just a harmless word.
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To me it is a form of disrespect. Our son is not allowed to cuss and if he does let a word slip once in a while he is reprimanded then and there for it. I told him once if he wants to cuss in our house then he has to read the whole webster-merriam dictionary first so he knows the meaning and spelling of all the other words he could use instead. When he is 18 and an considered an adult and on his own he can cuss until his heart is content, but in our house its a NO…
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I know my kids cuss, my middle son has gotten in trouble on the bus, but they don’t cuss in front of me. They get mad and one will slip out every so often but even then they seem more surprised than me. I believe it a respect thing.
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