Kind of a weird question lol. But I am debating with my best friend. We both have 13 year old sons…I allow my son to cuss around me, I see them as just words and as long as he isn’t straight up calling me the B word, I do not have an issue with him dropping the F bomb, or the S word…she thinks this is bad parenting…he doesn’t do it around other adults (aside from her but she is always here and I have been her friend since we were kids). In my eyes, they are just words and when I was a teen I was cussing all the time when my parents were not around, so I do not think its a huge deal…she does…who is right?
There is no right answer.
It is about personal choice. My husband does not mind if our teens 12 & 13 swear if it brings something to the conversation for example bringing attention to how awful a teacher is.
I myself prefer they do not swear. My 12 year old thinks she knows better than everyone else and acts very superior - when she swears it is normally at people and isn’t constructive. When my 13 year old swears it is normally in reaction to getting a fright. If he wishes to swear during a conversation he will tell us and ask us before hand. My husband swears all the time and while he is a very smart man he doesn’t come across as such when he cusses every second word. I swear only when being startled or angry.
There is no right or wrong answer - it really is about how they use the words and if they have a real reason for using them.
Your friend is right
Girl! It’s your kid and your house. You make the rules! They’re going to do it. No matter where they are. Might as well teach them when and where is respectful.
None are right tf?? You both are allowed to disagree and keep it moving…
It’s not bad parenting it’s different parenting. You are NOT a bad mom!
No right or wrong just different patenting styles.
My son is 12. At home I don’t mind it as long as it’s not directed towards me .
No one is. It’s just called different ideas of parenting. Y’all should be able to disagree and keep moving forward.
They are just adjectives. No harm curious who decided which words are “bad” words:roll_eyes:
I didn’t allow it. They are all young adults now and even if something slips out I look at them and they apologize. And I know they probably did out the house around their friends.
I was raised not to cuss around my parents or adults in general out of respect. In private or with my friends I swore always.
Just tell him not to curse around her or other adults because although you are okay with it, many people are not. If she can’t handle hearing it, it’s really her problem and not yours. But it might end up getting him into trouble if he slips up at school or something.
As long as its used in the right context
It’s not a matter of “who’s right” lol you both should know this if you two are parents and best friends. Not everyone is going to have the same views on parenting and it shouldn’t be a competition of “who’s right or wrong” parent how you see fit while supporting how your best friend and others choose to parent their kids. This should be unsaid but they should also be supporting you regardless if they agree with it.
I cussed constantly growing up but never once spoke like that around my father, hella disrespectful imo regardless if he cared about it or not. Parents not your friend… but still not bad parenting and it’s your kid… if it was me & my best friend felt some way about it I’d be sure my child didn’t speak like that around her period.
In our house we’ll allow a drop here and there. For us it’s about how it’s used, not to be directed at someone and not to be used to hurt, insult or otherwise make up a derogatory remark.
Our oldest daughter the day before she started kindergarten(now 15) was out on the boat with my husband and other her two brothers. Stuff happened and she ended up with a treble hook through her thumb. She looked at my husband and said “daddy I’m gonna swear ……this f***ing hurts” he reminded her we don’t swear but you’re allowed this one!
I’m with you. They’re just words. I always found it silly and ridiculous to have words we aren’t supposed to say. lmao as long as he’s not being disrespectful or getting in trouble at school, I see nothing wrong with it.
I let my kids cuss around me . The way I see it is if you ain’t cussing at me we good . Also … if our kids can’t even express themselves once in a while cussing in front of us … they’re gonna hide so much more lol you should let your kids be themselves around you so they could trust you with other things.
My son is 15 and just now allowed to drop the f bomb or the s word around the house but not out in public. I cuss a lot so I feel It’d be very hypocritical of me to tell him not to now that he’s getting older.
Very wrong!! Enough said
i’ve been swearing since i was about 10 years old and i finally started doing it around my mother when i turned 16 and to my surprise she didnt yell at me… much lol… but i dont see a issue with it just like you said as long as they arent calling someone or something those words then by all means
My daughter is 15, I allow her to cuss, she knows when and where she is and isn’t allowed to cuss. Now I don’t like hearing her say the F bomb, but the other stuff I don’t care and as long as she never gets froggy and try to cuss at me, cause she knows that is a BIG no no. They are going to cuss behind our backs anyways. We all done it growing up. And I make her watch what she says around little ones because I do not want little ones hearing her cuss and they think it’s ok. Little children are a different story, they should not be allowed to cuss. Teenagers are a different story
If the worst thing my kid does is say a cuss word, I’m ok with that…but there is no right or wrong. I say pick your battles
Neither are right or wrong. You’re allowed to parent your kids however you want to.
As long as a child ISNT being abused, no one has a right to say how you should raise your child.
You are its no big deal
It ain’t her kid! He’s your son? she can’t control how he speaks, she is not his parent nor provider.
It certainly isn’t the worst thing you can do as a parent. As long as they know that there’s a time and a place for everything. I see no harm in it.
I let my kids swear as long as it’s not at people or around other adults. It works.
Definitely, just words , as long as they know when and when not to say them who cares gunna hear worse things at school especially these days
No one is right it is up to individual parents on what they allow there kids to do or don’t do.
Hey what works for one parent might not for another but that’s your kid your house
After reading all of these comments, I now know why the younger generations are screwed and why there’s such disrespect shown towards others. If they “do it at home” they do it everywhere and to anyone. Smdh…
For me…at that age i think it would be okay i guess. No F bomb tho, only bc i grew up with not being able to say that around my grandmother as she is Catholic. So out of respect, for that word, i woukd not allow. At least at that age anyway. And the cussing should be used at hone or around his friends. Id try to not allow it in school or in public around other adults. So i guess it would be more of a respect thing for me. If hes doing it respectfully itd be fine. If hes going around cussing like a sailor, thats when id have an issue
The difference is knowing when, where and how those words should be used
My son is 16, it’s not something we randomly do here at home. However he hears it more often than not both at home and school. 16 is a junior adult as far as I am concerned however when he turned 13 he used to ask me what he could and could not say when it came to those words and as long as used in proper context and not just used for the sake of being able to say them we allowed it. However every parent parents differently and has there own ways and we need to respect that as individuals
My mom still moans at me and I’m almost 40
All about the tone not the words
your house, your kid, your rules.
they are just words
Whatever you decide to do…I was raised that its disrespectful to do so in front of your parents no matter the age.
I don’t but to each their own. I think it’s highly disrespectful personally to hear my own kids cuss infront of adults so for now it’s a no. Now do they prob curse around their friends that I don’t hear we’ll probably As I’m not naive. I just want my kids to understand the power behind those words and I feel when it becomes a regular part of their vocabulary it can be used inappropriately and in wrong situations because they just look at it as another word vs a cuss.
I’m 35 years old and still don’t cuss around my parents. It’s a respect thing for me.
If it’s not wrong why doesn’t he do it around other adults?
I don’t think it should be allowed. My kids are grown and it makes me cringe hearing those words coming out of such innocent faces. For the most part that are respectful about it. They didn’t hear it growing up. It’s just bad manners. My friends also refrain out of respect as well.
Its ok in context and tone if the situations calls for it… which should be rare in comparison to the amount you are suggesting.
But using offensive language is very disrespectful and he should certainly not be speaking like that around his elders.
I’m actually surprised she didn’t give him an earlashing to begin with, your friend has AMAZING self control
Each to there own But I wouldn’t be happy with any of my children saying it around me at 13… when they are older I wouldn’t care as much but at 13 No.
We’ve never censored our kids, the older (teens) cuss but out 8 year old censors himself and it’s hilarious
He heard someone say “sack of sh!t” and turned it into “bag of poop”
He does it with all curse words and we’re totally on board with it
Your kid Your rules.
I have a 13 yr old son and he curses all the time. I don’t like it all but I also curse so it’s hard to discipline him for doing something I’m also guilty of. We don’t curse at each other and we have spoken in depths that it’s not allowed outside of the house. Not saying that he doesn’t but I feel like either way, kids are going to curse. We can’t control what they do outside of the house.
Where I live, kids as young as my oldest son who is 9, cuss with their friends…
It’s all about this b, and that effer and imm beat this bs a. Blah blah blah.
That right there is what I would not allow. And tbh, I didn’t start cussing around my mom until I was dang near 18.
I don’t allow my child to cuss but I don’t cuss either but when they are with their friends who knows but cussing around me no!!
Your house your choice. But if you don’t want him to do it around other adults, this isn’t the way you teach them. This is the way to get them in the habit of making the mistake.
Honestly in this world. It’s your choice.
But there are negatives to it.
-jobs don’t like it
-school doesn’t like it
-elders won’t like it
-some religious beliefs say there power and life of the tongue and cursing is a word curse👀
Some of the things I mentioned there can be issues.
He could be disincluded because profanity is disrespectful in most cases or at least half the population.
Honestly I don’t like be in around people who cuss a lot. Like I I can tolerate it to a degree but it makes me feel physically. But the one thing I ask people is never say gd around me that’s one of the worst things for me like for real.
None of this prevents me from having empathy and care to another human tho. It just makes me personally uncomfortable.
My rule is not around adults or in school (at least don’t get caught) I know she’ll Cruse but I don’t want to hear it
There isn’t a wrong or right it’s your kid raise them how you want. There will always be someone to down you no matter what you do
She’s right not you…fhh
My son is allowed to cuss freely to express himself, he is about to be 9. The rules are no cussing at someone, no cussing in school and no cussing if someone else is watching him. We cuss so we can’t expect him to hear it and not repeat what he is shown. Also allowing him to cuss infront of us is a gateway for trust. He most likely won’t hide things from us if we are more of an open family.
What’s happening to society …
I try my best to not cuss around my parents but with my daughter I know that I won’t really care. I see it the same way you do as long as she’s not calling me a name or cussing in front of other adults then it won’t be an issue🤷🏻♀️
You’re both right. Just a matter of view. Try not to let her under your skin too much.
The U.S. makes a bigger deal out of cursing than most other countries. Your kid, your rules.
My 12 year old is not allowed to cuss in general conversation. She will sometime be telling me her frustrations of the day and will ask if she can cuss and I allow it. A cuss filled rant at the end of a rubbish day at school seems to lighten her and she is really quite inventive with some of the words she uses. I have no doubt she cusses around her friends, but I have told her how it is not part of polite conversation and it isn’t something she does at school, around adults etc. and if she does at school I am 100% on board with any punishment they give out.
Felt so weird saying cuss. I’m from the U.K. we call it swearing.
I don’t mind cuss word. My kids say them. The only only one I dont like is the GD word. I do say the F word more then another word and the B word.
This is the reason kids act the way they do these days. Parents trying to be friends with their kids instead of raising them to be respectful adults.
I don’t allow it. It’s never really been issue though.
My kids will never be allowed to cuss around me! I’m big on manners and respect!
Look I’m just sayin’, sometimes it’s nice to scream fuck after a shitty day. They’re just words. I call them sentence enhancers😂
My kids are allowed to cuss at home when it’s just us. They are not allowed to use any language directed at someone that is hurtful. They’re just words used to express feelings and home should be a safe space to do so
Kids are going to say it regardless, especially as they get into middle school and especially when you’re not around… why not teach them how to use the words properly instead!
My dad has allowed me to since I was 12, with the understanding that I use those words with discretion around others. It was never an issue.
I cursed alot when as a child and teen, but not around my parents or other adults. It was just understood that it would not be tolerated and I am glad that it was not. I had over permissive parents…I was spoiled…but with my own children they do not curse in my presence and I am glad they don’t. I would not enjoy being in the presence of a friend’s young children cursing freely.
Each to their own. There have been times where my 9 year old has hurt himself and I know he needs an outlet. I tell him, “You can say it” and he does. It’s just a word and in context, I believe ok. He is a well rounded, very responsible and respectful young man and I know he wouldn’t say it at school etc. You do you, and your friend can do what she sees fit as a parent, preferably without the judgement.
We know all kids cuss. What you do with your kid is your business. In my house we have rules and children are to stay in a child’s place. What you say when I am not around I have no control over. But I will be damned if I allow a child to sit up under me talking about “fuck this, fuck that” like they are grown.
But if he’s not allowed to call you a B you obviously don’t see them as only words. I would not allow my child to use bad language in every day conversation. I’d accept it in moments of stress but not just in conversation. It becomes a habit that they will carry on through life.
No , I don’t !!!
But I’m sure when They with they friends they do
Yea that’s a hell no from me! I’m sorry but this generation needs to go bk to mine or my parents generation, u dare drop a swear word around my elders whoever they may be and just know ur getting a backhander across your mouth.
Yeah… I agree with her. I could see about the word Hell or damn. But the f bomb and S word. No ma’am. That’s what’s wrong with this generation of parents. Just let their kids do whatever.
Oh hell know
Occasionally my 14 yr old grandson will drop the f bomb
When he is in his room on the x box with his mates
Also I never cussed around my mom nor anyone else. I also didn’t cuss when I wasn’t around them. I didn’t start cussing until I was 18. That’s only because I was in jail and got made fun of for not cussing
If they are saying anything like a cuss word like frigging, fudge, etc. Then it’s the same thing basically you know what they really mean lol I would rather my kids cuss then take the Lord’s name in vain that’s my only no no. NO G D in this home but if anyone shouts F words that’s OK im probably gonna laugh
I don’t allow my kids to cuss especially at that age
My 8 and 3 year old are aloud to swear but only at home and no swearing at people we’ve had no problems xx
Personally… I allow my kids to as well as long it’s only in front of me. && My kiddos have turned out amazing so far!
Can’t lie, it reflects their character
I think it’s just words my husband thinks otherwise he finds it very disrespectful but I cuss all day everyday
My 5 year old cusses more than I do. He also has 4 teenage siblings he’s learned from. He only does it at home though thankfully. I’m like you it’s just words, who made them bad words.
BOth of you are right. She is definitely entitled to her opinion about it the same as you are. In my personal opinion I agree with you. My son is 12 and is allowed to cuss in small amounts under the right circumstances. He can not use the words to hurt others or to be rude in general.
I’m 27 & still don’t swear around my parents. Disrespectful.
No it doesn’t sound funny as some people think
Time out for the child
Oh my kids cuss. I don’t care. They are 16 and 14. My 16 year old barely cusses and my 14 year old cusses a lot. And she’s a girl. Lol. I think their friend group has a lot to do with that too.
They know they can’t cuss around their granny and papa but that’s it. Other than that I don’t care. They say it anyway and they are just words after all.
It is disrespectful to allow any child before adult to swear…my daughter and her husband swear a lot yet I never heard my grandkids swear…
I am 31 years old and still don’t feel comfortable cussing around my parents. Its out of respect more than anything else (not doing it).
A home is where children are supposed to feel safe and not judged. A home is a place for a child to act like they normally wouldn’t because they are comfortable. Yes, I allow my children to use certain language at home they normally wouldn’t elsewhere. They are allowed to come home from School and say they had a fucking terrible day. Yes, I allow certain language at home because sometimes it takes a whole lot not to call someone a bitch or an asshole at School.
Honestly it’s addictive I’ve sworn since young and now it’s like word vomit and just slips out constantly so I don’t really allow my kids to but I let them use different words instead
It’s just words util they call you the B word😆
I allow my 10yr old and 6yr old to cuss at home. They don’t swear at each other or myself and father. They know not to do it in public. I myself cuss like a sailor. Im 41. Been told I have my grandpa’s mouth and my Granny’s heart.
My mom told me when I was 14 she doesn’t care as long as I don’t direct it at her or another adult. I’m 21 and said shit in front of her the other day and almost stopped breathing I’ve never been comfortable doing it in front of her but I see no problem as long as they aren’t horrible little people running around calling old lady’s c u next tuesdays, I see no issue.
In my humble opinion, it just delays the kid’s understanding of respect and maturity.
Its about respect and manners.If she doesnt like it then ask him not to do it in front of her.If he keeps on doing it then that is disrespectful so I would say if you cant show respect for my requests then you will be treated as a child until you do so NO swearing at all.I also think its a bad habit to get into because some situations need to be without this kind of language.