Do you think family and friends should ask permission or wait for you to offer for them to hold your newborn?

You need to tell her off!

If YOU find it rude that’s all that matters.

10000001 other moms can be ok with it but you aren’t.

Explain it, nicely as she likely has no idea it’s bothering you, but clearly. It’s not even really asking for permission, just being respectful of if it’s a good time.

And really I’m being nice, taking the baby from you is weird.

Baby is not happy because you are not happy with the person taking baby

Just say that is rude and please start asking to hold the baby instead of just taking baby from your arms

I’d tell her to get the fuck out. Your baby. Your rules. If she can’t respect them, cut her off.

The way covid is most definitely

No is a full sentence. You gotta be stern with some people. I’ve never understood just picking up someone’s child. I always wait until the person asks, “Would you like to hold him/her?” Some people just don’t know boundaries. You’ll have to teach this person boundaries.

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I’m the type of person that would ask if it’s okay to hold the baby even if it was my niece or nephew because I didn’t know what the parents were about to do whether it be change them, feed them, put them to bed or whatever the case was. Next time she tries to grab your baby, don’t let her and let her know that she’s being very rude and inconsiderate by just grabbing the baby especially since yous aren’t close.

Here’s an idea, communicate with people and stop being so scared of and offended by everything :wink:

Girl…not out your arms! Aht aht! Honey ole girl would get a word! As soon as she starts my way…“don’t come over here for her, you can’t hold her today!” Simple as that. It’ll get the conversation started and I’d go from there. That’s YOUR child nobody should be comfortable enough to come and take her out of your arms except her daddy! And she doesn’t even acknowledge you??? No.


I’m poppin hands especially if you tryna get the baby while I got em. Nuhuh you gotta ask first and If they sleepin NOPE if they bout to eat NOPE.


Ban her from coming over and don’t go anywhere she’s invited, that’s extremely worrisome and possible dangerous behavior


Omg!!! It happened more than once!? You’re too nice trust me…tell her point blank to ask to hold your baby that every second isn’t always a good time!

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Ya, I would make it clear she needs to call and ask before she comes over, because I assume she probably doesn’t. And next time she grabs the baby without asking tell her your daughter is uncomfortable and take her back.

Smack their hand. I’m serious. They’ll never do it again.


If she picked up my baby without asking I would say “ can I have my baby back I was about to feed her then I would take her back and walk away … hopefully she’s smart enough to understand

So I just delivered our 4th and honestly I don’t mind if anyone wants to hold him and love on him, heck I even handed him to the old lady at Walmart who was gushing over him she told me she was 85 and hadn’t held a newborn in years. But like I said he is #4 and I just love that everyone wants to love him. I was the same way with baby #3 also. My first I couldn’t because she was severely immune compromised and she was very premature. My second was my step daughter and she didn’t come into my life until she was 3. But I don’t personally see a problem with it. My family loves that I let them all love the baby’s anytime they want they just come over and hold #4 and even #3 still (he is almost 2) but I just take him when he gets hungry and nurse him and change him and hand him back and play with my other kids while I have free hands lol

The family member is on your partners side, so I’d say anything that is said to her should come from your partner.


It takes a village. The more love the better. To each their own but this doesn’t seem like something to be tripping over.

I would be very annoyed. I would just hold onto your baby when she tries to take her out of your arms. Say, sorry she’s sleeping. :woman_shrugging:t2:


Always ask before you touch someone else’s child.

Tell her “I’m sorry but it’s changing/feeding/nap time…now isn’t a good time.”

Smack that mfs hand
They need to learn how to talk and a s k
Not just come up and snatch your child
Smack their mfn hand

You carried this baby for 9 months, you delivered this baby, you will care for this baby when it wakes at 2 in the morning. This is your baby. You owe this person nothing as far as your baby goes, so do not allow this person to dominate the situation. It only takes one clear message "Please do not disturb my baby, she/he is sleeping ". “Please don’t touch my baby, she/he is comfortable in my, his/her mother’s arms”. Smile sweetly, but be firm. I am a grandmother to two beautiful little girls but would never be rude or aggressive enough to impose on my daughter’s relationship with her babies. What you are experiencing is blatant rudeness and should be met with assertive resistance.


I definitely agree that people need permission to have access to you and your child. Some people believe that being a relative automatically grants them access and it is up to the parents to decide what that access is.
But the most important thing to remember is you are the one who will teach your child boundaries. You are the one to protect her from unwanted contact. If your child is uncomfortable, you have to rectify that.
Who’s comfort do you care more about: your child’s or the relative. Yes, they may be upset but they will either deal with it or remove themselves. Either way, you and your baby have your boundaries maintained and your comfort zone maintained. This is how you teach your child that no one has access to their body, no matter who they are.


I always ask to hold someone’s baby or just wait for them to offer! You’re not wrong! There’s no easy way to approach it, I agree. When she’s sleeping, say “when she wakes up you can hold her” or “you can hold her after she eats and burps” or “she’s been in a mood today, she’s not really wanting anyone besides mommy, sorry” if she gets upset, she doesn’t respect your boundaries or your baby’s, so she doesn’t need to be around anyway. If you haven’t already, you need to bring it up to your partner also. They should honestly be the one stepping up in the first place since it is their family member. If they don’t, you tried and again, make one of the comments above when she swerves out of her lane. Keep your head up momma! :heart:

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I personally would never just grab someones baby without asking.
And the reason of the parents not wanting someone to hold THEIR child doesnt matter. It could be the most ridiculous reason but that doesnt matter, the parents choices should be respected.

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Yes my daughter would make me wash my hands before touching my granddaughter now everybody should keep this in their mind!!

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This is what I was told by aa counselor stop the shit before it goes any further the next time tell this person no this is your baby keep her close by you

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Should definitely ask in my opinion! I absolutely hated when people would just reach out to grab my baby from me or someone else already holding them. It gave me anxiety and just felt rude. I had such a hard with this issue with my first baby. It felt a bit easier with the 2nd, but people should still ask. I always ask if the role is reversed. Sorry you’re dealing with this mama:(. Hang in there :heart:

How rude!
Your baby, your rules. Don’t be worried to speak up for yourself. If she doesn’t like it, that says more about her than it does about you.

Even when my babies have been in their baskets or a bouncer and my parents have come to see us my mom would always say “can I?” Before picking them up.

Literally been dealing with this for so long, I’d barely make it in the door and my son was being yanked out of my arms. He’s now 19 months and he will stand right on top of him and they’re trying to climb on my lap to get to him. We’ve told them millions of times if you let him come to you it’ll be a better reaction but they don’t listen, there is no boundaries, they don’t care. So in my case it still hasn’t gotten any better, hopefully for you it does. :crossed_fingers:t4:

They can ask or I can offer but they better not snatch my baby out of my arms or out of the crib

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some people just love babies or she wouldnt do that. but you could stop her by saying things like. oh plesse. let her nap. or shes learning how to keep herself happy alone.

If you’re upset by it the family member is clearly overstepping your boundary. You just have to communicate to them what your boundary is and let them take it as they will.

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I can’t speak for others but the only time I take a baby is when they are crying and mom looks overwhelmed. If baby is content I will ask first. But I only do it to people I’m close too.

I had my baby pre-covid and no one was even allowed over until after she had her shots. And she is 2 now and because of covid I do not let ppl around her because she is not protected from whatever virus strand they may have. I can’t imagine having a newborn around ppl let alone someone taking my baby out of my arms. It’s okay to tell him her and everyone else NO. This is your baby and everything will go your way period. Don’t give in and make yourself go crazy. Tell them folks no. Period.

This is your child, your rules. You seem really uncomfortable about handling the situation so just get it over with. Explain that you are not being difficult but there are times or circumstances when you don’t want your baby to be held by others and explain why so its not taken personally. For example, I prefer not to have the baby picked up when sleeping because it may interfere with a routine I am trying to establish. And my baby has light sleeping habits…etc. But do be sure to share your little one when you can too. For the most part people get excited about new babies and don’t even stop to think about anything else in the moment.

No one should be having physical contact with a newborn but the parents and limited contact with siblings…Just tell them you have strong feelings about this…Your decision end of it!!

Tell her not too. Plain and simple. No reason to worry about hurting her feelings, your baby’s feelings comes first.

She probably has no idea that she’s offended you say something politely to her.

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I also advise not giving excuses why someone can’t hold your baby during a visit over and over, this will frustrate. Just set the ground rules with gentle reminders if necessary.

Let your mama bear out. Trust me, she’s in there or you wouldn’t have posted this.

Girl let someone who barley speaks to me touch anything of mine… you need to let mama bear outta her cage and put your foot down or up their ass lol

Just say it. U don’t need reason at all its your baby. !

You will forever be your child’s advocate​:heart::heart:

Two words: Set boundaries.

Only way is to speak up.

Tell her. Don’t hold back

Ya she wouldn’t want to meet me as a momma bear…

I’ve learned if you don’t speak up and claim your space, people will fill it. You’re the parent, you set that tone. IDGAF who the other person is.

Grab the baby back and say…

God help a bitch if she tries to take MY child out of my arms.