Communicate it to him! I was going through similar feelings and communication seemed to be what I needed to express and he’s worked on things, still not perfect but it’s definitely a positive work in progress.
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I would definitely sit and have a talk with him. But yes things can change and feelings can change but you will never know the answers unless you speak to him about it. However it sounds like you can do better by yourself.
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Read the book “He’s Just Not That Into You.” Changed my life and how I handled romantic relationships.
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That is so sad I don’t think he will ever ask You my daughter is getting married she’s been with the same guy for over 20 years and 3 boys he all ways says thank you and kisses her every day and if he leaves to go to work he kisses her and says I love you Good luck in every way to you
I’m with my man for 10 years, 2 kids, talks of marriage, promises made. I’m still wondering if I’ll ever walk down the aisle… BUT, he’s been married before and it wasnt pretty so I understand his hesitation. Talk to him. I know everybody turns to fb for support, but sometimes they can tear you down or build you up falsely. Only he can give you the answers you seek.
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Communication can change a lot! Everyone is so quick to say to leave but you need to tell him how you truly feel, then go from there.
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why are you with him? what does he add to your life to make it better?you are thinking about him, inmsteading of thinking about yourself, if it hasn’t changed by now, it never will.
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23 years married… Men have ruts as well as we do. Talk to him. Everything is fixable… Communication is key
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Pay attention to how he makes you feel, thats how he feels about you sadly I learned the hard way and wasted so many years of my life!! He would say what I wanted to hear whenever I tried to talk to him but his actions NVR matched his words. . .
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The only way you are going to know is if you talk to him about it, unfortunately. Get prepared for that conversation and just wing it.
Make a exit plan and when you are ready tell him that you need someone who is a partner then leave, if he does not come after you then you were just a convenience
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Why would you want him? Go find someone who will be good to your child and appreciate you. 
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Why would anyone even want a partner like that?
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I agree with the top two comments. Tell him how you feel and see how things go from there. Maybe write him a letter. If it doesn’t change for the better then maybe things aren’t meant to be
Don’t focus on him. Don’t be constantly available. Give him a bit of a chase.
Open your eyes before it’s to late.
Of course, with a child, it might be to late already. 
Good luck. 
Its time for you and the baby to move on. He has.
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I’m in the same boat. I just do me and the baby … It get old
Was gonna say it, you need to tell him, what you want/need in your life and your child.
Your doing wife shit for a boyfriend. That’s why he isn’t making you a wife
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Can you talk to him? We can give all kinds of scenarios but none of us know what he’s thinking. Do you two have good communication with each other?
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Let It Go. He knows what’s up and what he’s doing.
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Oh and don’t ask the questions if ur not prepared for answers u might not want to hear and can totally accept.
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Before you get married you need to know that the key to a healthy one is communication. You need to tell him how you feel, he probably doesn’t even know he is coming across this way, and if he does then he probably has things he wants to tell you too. If you don’t feel confident speaking to him about your feelings, maybe write him a letter? My husband and I talk shit to eachother most of the time but if something is bothering us, the first thing we do is talk to eachother. Good luck x
I would sit down with him and let him know how you are feeling… he may not even know that he’s making you feel this way x
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Why are so many women expecting, That your man will Change?? Of Course He notice, what you are Feeling, but the bitter truth is, He doesnt Care🤷
If you would have selfworth, this wouldn’t come so far
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You’ve been given a glimpse of married-life with this man. What do you think will change? The thought of you moving on and another man raising his child some day may or may not be the only thing that brings him to action. Do you want a man to marry you as an ultimatum?
Sounds like a lonely relationship! Why would you want to be married if ur heart aches! Have this conversation with your partner and if no change move on! Your doing everything anyway just co existing under same roof❤️
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Conversations with your spouse and understanding that life after birth changes a relationship are very good goals to try to achieve. Taking YOU time is great too if he doesn’t help much with chores and baby care, that’s defiantly a conversation to have. Make sure he’s in a good headspace and relaxed when you have a heart to heart. Hopefully your relationship over time will heal and become stronger even without marriage.
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O hun…
a talk to get all off your chest is the first solution…to try to understand what u both want…honestly talking works wonders good luck xx
I COULD BE 100 percent wrong, but you know the answer I guess you don’t want to face reality you love him but think if someone loves you will they act this way.
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Honestly communication is the best thing and opens your eyes to numerous things.
My wife wrote letters for me to read as she didn’t know how to say it.
And I admit she probably thought the exact same things as you did.
Things became the norm and I didn’t think anything of it as I was worried about work and keeping house above head that I rarely thanked my wife or spent much time together. I’d rant about work when getting home late, we’d eat tea together while watching netflix then sleep.
Once reading the letters (about 3 a4 pieces of paper double sided and hand written)
It sunk in more than a chat would.
I’d like to think its a lot different now and she knows I appreciate her all the time.
Always asking if everything is okay, helping out when I know I won’t get head bit off (she won’t let me cook).
On occasion bring chocolates, flowers or snacks (mostly snacks)
Getting that us time we needed together.
Now I even do her skincare routine giving her a free face massage before cuddling in bed haha.
It’s not paranoia.
Just us men aren’t the fastest at reading emotions and forget the stress that’s on our loved ones while we’re away from all of that during work.
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The question that needs to be answered is why do you want to be married to a person who does not appear to be ready for a committed relationship after eight years and a child? People are who they are and any changes need to come from within. If your best friend was in this situation, what would you tell her to do? Also, would you be ok in the future for your son to treat his partner the way his dad is treating you? Your son will learn how a woman deserves to be treated by two things. His dad’s behavior and what his mother tolerates as acceptable. As far as you being crazy, paranoid or both, you are neither for expecting a person who’s been in your life for 8 years and share a child with to have some form of commitment. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and desired. Its a basic human need. Don’t let anyone tell you that you are crazy for wanting that. Counseling if you both are willing to go. If not, maybe you can go yourself and work on methods to help you realize your self-worth. Best of luck to you…You sound like a kind and caring person who deserves to be in a relationship with the same.
Tell him exactly how you feel… he may not even know he’s doing it and how it’s affecting you. Hope you get things sorted xx
Why don’t you just ask him if you seem put off by the question then just leave if you feel uncomfortable you feel like you’re unappreciated I know sometimes it’s hard but you need a way out
Communication is key. If then nothing changes after communicating, time to move on.
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I didn’t read because the only answer is ask him yourself.
If you can’t communicate or ask that question I think your relationship is doomed
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If you want to move on in the relationship you need to address what you are feeling the now.
Sounds like marriage already.
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You have an 18 month old… This whole thing is still new and everything is not “normal” you do everything and your hurt, he probly is too but isn’t showing it ( most men have been raised this way) I have 2 kids and been with their dad 13 + plus years, we went through hell together… My depression, his problems, we just couldn’t get on at all at times and thought that was it (both of us) but something made us realise that… We are in this together and Is there a point of doing all this with a new person, Learning their ways and their habits… (sometimes new doesn’t end haply at all, we have seen it) and we though, NO! We aren’t giving up… And now after all those years, we’re both compromised over things, and are happy. I wish you patience, love and luck x
Are you living the child or is he your star sometimes? Men need to feel they come before the children. Do you have a date night? Even if it is fish and chips in a park but just you and him. Adult conversation not what the baby did for the day. Dress nicely loose weight if you need get in shape for you make yourself look good for you, this will help change your mental out look. If you are not in a good space you will not be giving out good vibes and you need these wether you stay or go.
No hunny!! Move on. Its not there anymore!!
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Its like pushing an expelled shit back up your bum…impossible!
Run and take your baby with you
Kick him to the curb
It’s sounds like you’re asking a question that you probably already have an idea of the answer. I don’t know, but why would you want to marry a man that isn’t even pretending like he cares or respects you. Do you think that it’ll get better? Perhaps some counseling might help but I’m thinking not really. He didn’t just get this way, he’s been dragging his feet for awhile. Sorry, but you sound like a convenience for him. I would never tell another woman to leave her man except in violent situations, so I won’t suggest that to you. But if you’re doing 90% of what needs to be done, there’s a lack of communication, and you’re not really being intimate then something is definitely wrong. You already know it and I’m sure he’s knows what’s going on as well. All I can suggest is put on your “big girl panties” ask him and be REAL prepared for the answer…and work from there.
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You’re assuming he wanted to marry you to begin with
Talk to him about it. You can’t know what is going on in his head unless you ask. Communication is the key to everything. It might be horrible for a little while or what you fear may be true, but you deserve to feel loved and seen and confident whether that’s as a couple or on your own. Had a talk like that of my own a few weeks ago and bloody hell it was hard but it was better than the way I was feeling. Try reading untamed by glennon doyle or women dont owe you pretty (cant remember who that was by). Nothing is worth your happiness and self esteem. Xxxx
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Expectations unmet cause resentment. Time to have a conversation. Not confrontation. Get a sitter, go for a mini staycation and talk. Let him know ahead of time so he doesn’t feel blindsighted. Have some intimate time too that is something you both enjoy. Things can be rejuvenated. Maybe he doesn’t realize how you feel and feels attacked. When you mention stuff at home. Read up on love languages. Don’t give up. You have many years invested and a xhild together. Don’t settle either. You both have needs, work through a step at a time.
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Have you considered the different love languages you may have and how he shows his appreciation isn’t the way you considered appreciation (if that makes sense)
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If you’re not getting anything out of your relationship, than it’s not a relationship. Move on!
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He has Grown comfortable and even expects you to do the things you do . He doesn’t see it as extra things for him and family it’s just normal routine. If your man wasn’t vocal or very affectionate before baby why are you asking him or advice on how to change him after 8 years you’ve accepted this . If intimacy/sex is lacking in the past 11/2 years talk with him he maybe having Male issues erectile dysfunction. Communication is vital in everything if you don’t voice your needs and expectations no one can do it for . You don’t need ANYONE to speak on your behalf as you are a grown woman talk to your man make a date with him outside of home talk but listen as well … if things are good make more Dates , sensual massages dinner in etc.
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Leave your relationship is going nowhere. Get some therapy and figure out why you put up with this behavior. He is not going to change. Move on and find real love.
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this does not look good, or that he wants to marry you. ask him about his future plans.
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Ask yourself how you see his behavior in 5, 10, 20 years. Do you honestly expect him to improve? Because he’s not going to. He will continue to go further into his behavior.
He’s been showing you red flags for ages. I think you know your answer already.
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You gotta try to get through to him and make him figure out what he wants. If there’s real love between you guys then it should be worth the effort to make things better
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Why on earth are you asking people who don’t know him if he will change … we have no idea. The person you should be talking to is him
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Concentrate on enjoying your life as a young woman and mother. When you are happier with yourself and your life,then it’s like keeping vitality in your relationships with everyone.
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With the way he has been acting have you given any thought that maybe he is seeing another woman.
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I would try couples counseling. Do everything you can to salvage your relationship for the sake of your child. If he shows no interest or motivation to participate, you have your answer.
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I really do not think he wants to be with you anymore. Is there anyone you could ask to talk to him on your behalf? I know you must have your reasons but it seems like you stayed with this man for way too long, without being married to him.
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You already know your answer. But with that in mind open up a dialogue with him and let your feelings be known. The best way to get things done in your relationship is to talk.
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Why are you going online and not asking your partner? Are you afraid of the answer?
We are not with you in your life and we can only answer based on what you have stated?
The best thing you can do for your whole family is to communicate. Once you know what he thinks and feels then you will know what the situation is.
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Think about how this behavior is affecting your child. I think your decision has been made and you are having a hard time accepting it. Move on and cut your losses.
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It’s not going to get better if you marry him . I’d ask him right out . It may not be what you want to hear but better you know sooner than later.
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The worst advice my mom gave me I was in the same situation is you. She said he’ll get used to it he’ll come around. He never did. In the end he decided after telling me he didn’t want children that the child was better off with him. So he took me to court he had money I didn’t guess who lost. Worst advice ever. Get out now!
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I’m so sorry hun. I beleave u need to bring up the subject, and pay attention to what he says. Your young. Your life should be filled with appreciation and love. If not its only going yo drain u more and leave u feeling empty.
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Best to just communicate how your feeling with him. Plan a romantic (get delivery lol.) dinner and talk to him about how your feeling he maybe feeling neglected too with all your attention on a busy life in general , talk it out…
ask him "Hey do you want marriage a home and family with us. why are you distancing yourself from me emotionally and intimately…? Etc …You may not like he’s answers but better to know now then later…
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She needs to address him with how she feels and ask him all of these questions because he is the ONLY one that can truly answer this.
Pray about it and listen to your intuitions.
That’s the demise of our relationships, we don’t listen nor recieve God’s given discernment.
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He has moved on…probably wants you to end the relationship. Lawyer up and get child support
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Ok before you give up and throw in the towel on this one I would simply write him a letter. Express your feelings but don’t corner him.
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Work on yourself…You may have sum postpartum depressing too…Work on yourself …I can’t say that enough,even if it doesn’t work out,you gotta know for yourself,What you want…Buy some new underwear,brush your hair,new friends or reconnect with old ones,start making YOU feel better…
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Run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit. He would make a lousy husband and is probably a lousy father. Don’t lower the bar or settle.
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If you both can sit and be brutally honest with each other and especially yourselves, things can be amazing.
Try it.
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They only do what you allowed them to do. You settle for nothing you get nothing. What’s your self worth,
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In your heart you know the answer. Raising the issue with him means you have to be prepared to act on the situation and that’s probably scary to you, but living day to day in mental anguish is not beneficial to you or your child. Rip the bandaid off and address it, move on if you have to, but stop torturing yourself with what ifs and maybes, you are breaking your own heart every day.
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The question is,do YOU still want to marry him?
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If he hasn’t married you yet he will not.
It is what it is.
Move on
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It’s time to pack his bags.Be sure he support his child. You don’t need a man like that. Your are in his past. Be strong. Love is two lane road. Good Luck and God Bless You.
Move on! It will be hard but you deserve to be happy. Right now you don’t understand this but you will as you get older. Be happy for yourself and don’t depend on others for your happiness. Tell your self I am beautiful, I am strong!
Make marriage a requirement to be with you if he wants to be with he will meet it if not he will walk. But after 8 years I believe he doesn’t want to marry you.
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I think he shows you your answer everyday.
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I would consider counseling, Marriage Encounter or similar before giving up on an eight-year relationship. Some couples do really well with counseling. Worth trying, no? Good luck in any event.
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A leopard never loses his spots. He is not going to change.
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See if he is interested in going to couples counseling? Watch his expression when you mention it, my guess is he will be annoyed with your question!!! Doses he acknowledge his son? Was he happy when you told him you were pregnant? These are things you have to think about, if the answers are no then you have to make up your mind what YOU are going to do!!!
Eight years, now have a child together? I would say he’s probably not going to marry you. He’s taking you for granted. He should have put a ring on it 4 years ago. Why buy the cow when he can get the milk for free? Get out and get on with your life.
Just my opinion honey, take it as you will: Ask yourself if marriage is your goal. If it is, then ask him if it is his. If it’s not, then you need to know that now. After 8 years, if he were going to marry you I think be would have asked, but clarify, then make your decision asap. You and your kiddo deserve someone who is there 100%. You shouldn’t settle just because you’re comfortable or scared. But - full disclosure - I am a romantic and don’t think one should marry unless you both feel that you can’t stand not being without each other - forever and ever. That WILL be harder with a baby - but if I can do it at 46, with 2 kids, you can too!! Sending you best wishes, love and hope.
Has anyone thought to advise this lady what can happen when babies are born. Men can actually feel pushed out as baby takes up all mum’s time and too tired for anything else. Maybe have a chat with him how he’s feeling too
Time for counsel and advice from a licensed professional.
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I say communicate with him have his favorite dish put kid to sleep so no interruptions to be more calm about y’all’s situation
Your son is very young and having a child really does change a relationship and can take a while to find a balance.
I would talk to him about your concerns, maybe arrange a baby sitter so you can go out and recapture a bit of couples/adult time… Go for a meal, or cinema or anything that’s not linked to the being parents. He may well be trying to come to terms with the new status quo and verbalising it poorly.
The change/his behaviour could be for a multitude of innocent reasons. Communication is nearly always the key.
You are always going to be in each other’s lives as you have your son together so may as well try and talk everything through
I think a better question is why would you want to be married to someone who seems repulsed by you. Sit down and talk about it. If he starts calling you paranoid or crazy, you dont want to be married to this man.
Woman must learn not to wait for the man for years to ask her to marry him. Why it is not a requirement before an intimate relationship? We live in a modern world. woman is the man’s equal, but we wait even our whole life sometimes instead of giving ultimatums when the relationship is still young. But I am not here to make you feel worse than you do already. That he seemed to be repulsed by you is not a good sign. The only thing I can say to you is eventough you love him try to think like a woman who is alone and has to fight for herself. Look after yourself as if you has to go out and look for a man. Important is: You are more attractive if he is not the centre of your life and you keep yourself extrordinary well. And it is not all about make up. And a little tip: Steam daily your private parts to tighten maybe with some herbs
Well of course after 8 years things are comfortable. Do you happen to maybe try to make the first move for yourself up nice clothes makeup for when he comes home? Yes he works and the house is what your doing and yes its not an easy job but maybe he doesn’t realize just how hard you work by being home. If you have tried then I would talk to him cant hurt to ask. Maybe he comes home hes tired and your tired and well who really knows but you two.
Communicate with him. You should be asking him these questions with no ego involved. Be prepared to not like what he has to say. If all goes well you guys can work it out maybe even get help but if he’s done than you guys can make a co parent agreement and both move on to happier better live or you can make your current life happier by communicating. You can’t punish a partner for things they don’t know and not talking about your needs and never addressing what you need just leads to resentment and divides that can never be fixed
Well. It may be time to find childcare and a full time job. Then consider your life partner choices and living arrangements.
Confront him and face it head on. May not like the results but better to know! Good luck.
Trust your instincts and talk with him - tell him your feeling and see how he reacts - once agIn your gut instincts will guide you
Girl just leave his ass. My ex fiance did that to. The emotional abuse is horrible and trying to heal from that takes time so im glad u recognized the toxic behavior but…ur best bet is to leave he isnt gonna change