Try counseling and if nothing looks like it’s going to change, make your plans to move on.
My opinion: marriage doesn’t solve any issues; it only makes the consequences of failure more dire. Have an honest talk about what you’re feeling, listen and understand where he’s coming from (if he’s willing to be candid and honest,) and make concrete plans from there. My bf and I have been together for 13.5 years and do NOT want to marry, but we’re on the same page because we communicate.
Nobody troubles you without your consent. Sit down with a elderly third party and discuss the issue politely
Talk to him find out what’s up. See if things can be fixed. If not then time for both of you move on.
Talk to him. It’s really the only way you’ll get an answer! Communication is key!
Are you loving him is the question to ask yourself. Surely if you look for the flaws you will find them. What are his strengths?
My mon always said “we don’t have answer that you lnow the Answer” .
If it’s not good in your first years …nothing gets better than those!
What you feel deep in your heart is usually right. Don’t waste your life on someone who doesn’t feel the same as you. Eight years is a long time to wait.
Well how much longer you plan on weighting. For something that’s changed so much.
Eight years???
This man calls foul…and it ain’t you.
I’d drop this turd before I’d waste another day of my life.
Sounds like he enjoys his live-in maid. Where do these bums come from? Is he also still tied to his mommy?
Maybe he doesn’t want you to take half his money when you move on later in life.
Lawyer up, you might have common law in that. After so many years together some states you are
considered married.
Know your rights.
I dont want to be the bearer of bad news, its been 8 years? U shud have asked that q 1 year into ur relationship…
WHY have a child together with someone you didn’t like enough to marry???
He’s never marrying you. File for child support and move on with your child.
Have you spoken to him?? Or did you just vent on social media??
If there is doubt from either of you , don’t do it, atleast wait
Do you have postpartum depression? It may be you.
The question is why do you want to marry him?
The question is why would you want to marry a man who treats you like that? You are worthy of love, affection, & appreciation. Know your worth. Don’t settle.
Life is far too short to waste it wondering. Make something happen or move thru another door
Have you considered how unhappy YOU are?
Is he seeing someone else? Sure sounds like it.
Maybe you should try couples counseling?
How about an answer from a man?
If you have postpartum depression thats another reason he should be treating you better.
Its not you.
Show him the door while you are ahead.
There’s lots of good men out there. Clearly he is not one of them.
If you’re not happy it’s time to move on. Your happiness is very important.
Talk to him, be truthful, cut him loose if you have to. You are worth more than how you are being treated now.
Find a counselor! If he is not deep enough to join you, stop wasting your time.
Run. And don’t even look back.
Honey,sadly,the way u feel about im,he no longer feels the same about u
Sounds like u need to move on. Find someone who will appreciate u.
Maybe he’s shy to say things ,ask him questions men are shy too
Sounds like it’s over. Sorry.
Are u better with him or without him? You know the answer
Say these things to him. Talk to him about your feelings. Maybe some counseling.
He’s taking you for granted and quit possibly cheating on you.
leave go it alone! Don’t beg for attention! He aint giving it so leave!
Sounds like you need a change before you have another baby
That’s just men babe. Sorry but get used to it
He isn’t interested anymore, sorry
I have a similar problem …my husband and I split up then got back together 3 years later…the first 12 months were fantastic he was a changed man showed me love …was happy …helpful …caring etc now 2 years later hes back to the guy I married .miserable…
uncaring and dam right rude , we arent even back living together yet …so I dont think your partner will change …good luck tho
Don’t ever marry. Get married and you no longer own anything.
He doesnt love you a real man will hmu
Have you tried just talking about how you feel
Do you honestly want to marry someone who does not seem interested in you or your needs or happiness? We all deserve better. Sometimes we are so invested in the idea of marriage we lose sight of how unfulfilled and damaging our relationship is. Talk to him and share your concerns. You deserve love and affection.
i think you should be talking to him, not us.
You need to sit down with him and have an open and honest conversation with him about how u feel. What’s your love language? What’s his? It sounds like you’re giving him words of affirmation, but maybe he needs more than just that from you, like you need more than what he’s giving/showing you. So make sure they hear him out on his end too. it doesn’t sound like there’s a whole lot of communication between you two, so definitely have a conversation with him.
Firstly: talk to him about your fears! Having a baby can scramble both your minds, and it may have knocked you off each other’s wavelength for a bit. If he still wants to be with you, I would suggest you find out what each of your love languages are, because if they are different and you don’t realise it, then things that one considers important may not be on the radar of the other! There are brief online “tests” (do you prefer a present or being told a compliment, type things). Google “5 languages of love test” and it should bring it up. You’ll find out what you and he both consider to be important signs of love and can be aware of it when communicating.
After talking, you may find it’s time to go your separate ways, but at least you’ll know where you stand.
He is just comfortable with the lifestyle he chose…refuse to change it because its too comfy…did he love his son? Did he provide for the famili…did u talk heart to heart…perhaps he feels married to u but he just dont want the commital paper part whereas get scary once divorce…if u feel u are worth it…talk to him or he is not worth ur while.
If you have to ask, you already know.
Cut your losses. He’s just not that into you.
Girl start walking out
Be honest with yourself and admit and be responsible for any failings that you’ve contributed to,We all have them,once you know you’ve made all the changes to accommodate him and he changes nothing get rid of him before you waste another second of your precious life.
Do you really want to marry a man like that?
Relationships that start in the bedroom generally have nothing in common once the fire dies down. How well did you / or do you know him. What do you have in common besides a child together. I hear you say you love him but do you like him, does he like you? I think people should wait to have children. Solidify the relationship and if marriage is something you bth want, then find out why you waited so long…maybe he has already moved on in his mind!
If it dont come easy ( naturally) let it go
You know the answer to what you just asked.
What an AWFUL TYPICAL STORY. We have heard it all before.
YOU cannot reclaim time spent.
Wise up.
Get off of Facebook and handle your business.
- This one is easy.He doesn’t want to get married.
Question two may be one of these or the other.
2a) He has problems within himself causing the disconnect.
2b) He is just with you for convenience.
Nope, they don’t change
Why in the world would you want to marry HIM?
No. He checked out long ago
Show him the door and make sure you close it after him
Seems like you already know the answer.
All the red flags are there.
Why would you begin to settle.
Happier to be single.
8 years+1 child+no ring= he’s never gonna do it.
I think you have answered yourself…
Question. Do you want to marry him?
Have you talked to him about it? Maybe he doesent realize he is being shitty. Sometimes people get stuck in thier own heads and dont realize it
As for everyone saying he’s possibly cheating, or he wants you to end the relationship, this isn’t always true. My husband (fiance) and I have been together almost 9 years. But to get the marriage license is expensive for us right now. He might be going through depression from having a child. Like someone else said, men get PPD as well. It’s not talked bout enough. Take a day and a night to have to each other. Talk everything out. Ask him where y’all stand. But at the same time respect his feelings, and he does the same for you. I wish y’all nothing but the best.
You know the answer you’re just denying reality. If no one else will tell you I will he cares nothing for you and you know that’s true. Move on and find yourself a man who will love you with the way you want to be loved.
Cut him loose ,he’s acting like he is trapped because of the child ,get child support from him .He’s not going to make you happy
Sit down n talk b4 u assume anything. Put yourself in his place
Do u fix yourself up when he comes home? I’m not saying u have too but if u want him to want u u have to make an effort. Does he treat u like he loves u? Honestly not what some blog says he should if all these things r no. Then u should split
Sit down and have a face to face and let him know how you feel. According to this post you have a lot on your mind about this relationship. Either put an ultimatum on the table or continue to feel lonely while in a relationship.
you need to be able to take care of yourself so you’re not dependent on a male…then get rid of him.
A baby will test both him and you, he failed. There is no other truth here. I am in my sixties and please don’t waste your time. Love yourself and your baby but don’t except so much less from this man
Get rid of him. If he hasn’t married you by now he’s never going to. I was unmarried to my ex for 16 years if that tells you anything. And he treats you like shit on top of everything? Don’t let the grass grow you know you deserve much better.
The 'magic of marriage ’ is no more.
He’s seen and had everything. What will a ring do?
Marriage is sacred. Not for everyone.
I think you know the answer. Go with your gut. Do what’s best for yourself and your son. Best of luck to you.
After all does red flags you are telling us you still think this us the guy you want to merry?
Before you look at him try looking at the mirror first
Move on. Trust me he’s got a side ho
Things will not change…
You deserve better. Get out of this relationship now…it will never change…unless he recognizes he’s being a worthless father and partner.
Why don’t you quit whining, it’s very boring. Keep your dirty washing to your self. Do you honestly think anybody is the slightest bit interested !!
Hmmmm, that’s a no brainer, sorry
Ditch that useless pos.
Is this for real get rid
Kick his ass to the curb.
how about do you still want to marry him?
Ask him. Thats all you can do.
He has an aversion to commitment. Are you expressing your needs to him?
Marriage makes things much more difficult. If its not working now, theres not much chance that getting married would change that.
Couples counselling could help — if he is willing to engage.
Perhaps you need to be more assertive about your needs, and what you want.
You two need to have a very frank discussion. You’ll know in your heart what you need to do.
You are.amazing woman.
You.need to.ask him yourself .
You deserve the.best the best.
You have to create your own happiness .
Talk to a therapist. This happens.all.of.us.
You.can never.look to.others for fulfillment.
You.need to love yourself .
Time to say goodbye. He has everything he needs without any real commitment. Getting married now would not solve anything he is too set in his comfortable selfish lifestyle. You deserve better.
He may think he is doing his duty but he may feel resentment… move on for yourself… atleast you know he will be there for your child but you deserve better… maybe suggest counseling for the two of you there may be something going on that is not understood … if he is not willing to do this then you have done what you can… make a life for yourself and get off social media… people on here don’t care… they just want drama
8 years and a baby. Doesn’t look like he wants to be mArried. He’s got all the benefits why get married
I’m just a man who understands, put the cards on the table and tell him how it is, go from there. It seems it’s all about him, move on. Good luck