Does anyone have family or in-laws or whatever that overbuy useless stuff for you when you’re pregnant? I’m not trying to come off ungrateful or anything; I’m really not. But with my first daughter, people bought crib sets that I made it clear that I wouldn’t use, super fancy outfits for when they are super tiny, baby costumes, baby sneakers, giant stuffed animals, novelty pacifiers, etc. they continue to overbuy for her now that she’s older too. So many toys and clothes and so much stuff. I asked this year that for her birthday and Christmas, if they feel the need to buy her gifts, they purchase books for her.
Let them spoil her? What’s the issue? If it was your family would it be a problem?
Really… they buy you too much lol. Step away from the keyboard until you find some actual problems.
You could donate some of the unwanted stuff to a woman’s shelter as well.
My inlaws are kinda like that. I won’t ever tell them not to buy my daughter something though. She’s the first granddaughter on my husband’s side so they are all super excited about being able to buy girl stuff. Plus both of my parents have passed away so I’m going to let them spoil her. It’s not hurting anyone, and they’re all happy.
My in laws have bought my son about 5 things in his year and a half of life lmao. Donate the extras to people who need or want them.
Oh good gawd!!! “People are over buying for my child!!! Please someone make the insanity stop” really??? Its hurting u or your child that your child is loved??? Go on somewhere with this bullcrap! Are u attention seeking?
I am that person ! I over buy for everyone though. I am a couponer and get great deals so why not spread the wealth ?
I would love this problem lol be grateful you have someone who is willing to dote on him/her I don’t have that luxury as I’m sure others done either
Also,if she too big for the stuf give it to someone who can use it
Damn… wish I had family that cared enough to spoil my kids with stuff.
I’m that Grandma I buy blankets bottles toys and my daughter was like mom u can stop now lol I still do it and he’ll never go without period girl take it and pass it other people that may need it or want it
I know some are being harsh and I understand my kids get spoiled every holiday from all sides of the family and they have sooo much stuff they don’t use half of it but please don’t take for granted what others would die for I usually donate the stuff the would not play with or wear or you can take the stuff to once upon a child sell the stuff to buy books or something else she could everyone usually asks what my kids are into or need I’ve now gone to saying anything educational whether that be toys or books and you can never have enough clothes socks or bedding be reasonable
Lol, I don’t see the problem ? If it’s stuff you won’t use , donate it ? Why don’t you keep some of the toys put away and swap them out with other toys ? There are plenty of things to complain about when it comes to family , I’m sure but THIS isn’t one of them. My mom buys my son and nephew entirely too much lmao but I’d never complain about it.
Mine do. I’m so grateful for their thoughtfulness and consideration. I donate or sell anything we don’t use and keep the rest.
I would just accept things with a smile and then not use what I didn’t need. My daughter had so many clothes, she wasn’t able to wear every single thing. I totally get it. I donated lots of stuff to people who needed them!
She said its stuff she has no need for so yes she could donate it. But these people are continually buying this stuff, spoiling a child is not necessarily a good thing. If they want to buy her stuff that fine but instead of spending money on novelty things and set up a college fund or a fun trip with their grandbaby. Y’all are extremely negative towards other moms. She is not wrong in how she feels. No ones feelings are wrong because its their own feelings. If you want to spend money on your grandbabies fine but put it towards something that matters. Shes a baby she really doesn’t want for much. Im sorry people are acting this way towards you. Speak your mind to them respectfully. Tell them you appreciate that they help but make the help actually mean something.
I would have been grateful, but you could suggest they start a college trust fund if they want to spend so much money on her, spending less on the now and more for her future would be a far better investment.
Here’s some actual advice I stead of judgement…
Ask them to buy things she really needs. Just have a nice convo and say “we really appreciate how much you help us with getting the kid stuff, but maybe less stuffies and shoes. ( or whatever you’re tired of lol)
I have a small space and can’t stand alllll the toys piling up here and there. My daughters have so many stuffies they’ve looked at once since entering the house.
My mother in law was like this, I swore i wasnt going to use pacifiers and was going to only use dr browns bottles if I coyldnt breast feed, I had a plan for almost every aspect. And after having my son I was majorly thankful she had bought pacifiers and mam brand botfles becauze that ended up being all my son liked after about 3 months old he wouldmt take anything but mam. She bought so many clithes, shoes, toes, etc that we had his entire first 2 years year from 1 month up completely covered we didnt have to buy anything (we still bought but we definitely didnt need to) she bought him a mamaroo and I thought it was kind of pointless at first as ive always seen kids that have swings/bouncers then hardly use them and it was a lifesaver it was the only way hed cakm down some days was to be put in it eithin 5 minutes hed rekax, she bought me a boba wrap which again at the point I fidnt think id use and ended up using it daily as he loved to be close but i had animals to care cor and a house to upkeep and having him in it lect my hands free and gave me total range of motion as compared to other carriers that are just too big for me to have motion as im a small woman. 3 years later hes still wearing some of the clothes shed had bought, still have the mamaroo for our next child, the boba wrap, the toys, the shoes, all of it weve ended up holding onto, other than some of his smaller clothes that wed give back to her as he outgrew and shed sell them and use that money for the next size up for him. Im forever grateful that she overbought because it helped us a ton especially in the beginning when we struggled financially for a bit trying to even out our budget with an added eprson to care for. I’ll never be uoset that she iverbought, I was at first but 3 years later I am so thankful that she did and still does at times.
I agree that would be super annoying! Especially if it’s things that the kids won’t use or don’t need. And you probably can’t just donate it like everyone is saying because they probably expect you to keep it and would be upset if you just gave it away! I would nicely tell them to only buy things the kids can use or need like clothing or books as you said. If it’s your in laws have your husband nicely talk with his parents. They are really just wasting their money when they could buy things your kids need.
I get that can be super frustrating and irritating BUT to some that is how they show their love, no I don’t mean they want to buy love it is how they show they love you.
Maybe when you start getting too much bring it to their house and physically SHOW them it is too much.
Ask ‘inplace of gifts this year we ask for memories - take me to the park, museum, zoo etc, take me on a picnic, host a sleepover’
See if instead of buying things start a savings account and whatever they would spend on ‘stuff’ put into that account.
When my grandma comes to visit us she says my kids have a ton of clothes, we have a ton of blankets this and that etc - then I point out you bought this and that and those and these.
My grandma started putting money away for my daughter (her great grandchild for this very reason!) Now my grand mother has passed and my daughter has a great start to an education fund! I will forever be grateful for that! Maybe talk to the grandparents and ask if they would do that instead of the constant “stuff” it doesn’t hurt to ask.
Start a college fund/529 that they can contribute to
Look at it this way. Would you rather they buy too much, or too little? I would give anything for my children to be cared about like that by more of our family. Only one set of grandparents really seems to care about them and it’s painful. If you don’t use the stuff, maybe you could donate it to someone that might need it? Or maybe even give it to a church or a daycare.
Be grateful for those that love your child to want to give her. If you have an issue just take the items & donate them to a much needy family. You’d be complaining of your in laws if they didn’t give your daughter anything!
Donate to the people in need of them.
My mom is this way. I have 6 kids oldest 20 youngest 11. I only birth 3 adopted my husbands 3. They have everything under the damn sun. Does it irritate me sometimes? Yes. But I will never tell her no. The other grandparents dont have hardly anything to do with them. But she spoiled them and loves them. I will never take that away from her. It makes her happy and one day she wont be here to spoil with ridiculous amounts of things, love.
You sound ungrateful trying to dictate what gifts ppl should buy for your kid. This all sounds crazy to me. Pick your battles, especially if your so bothered you take it to a fb support group to vent, be thankful your kid has ppl that want to spoil her.
Just take the stuff and be happy to them about it, go through what you want to keep and donate the rest. Theirs many kids out there going without. People will choose to do what they do regardless of how we feel. You can choose to let it bother you and tell them it feels disrespectful against your wishes- or just let them shower her w stuff say ty and donate to kids that would love to have it.
Mine tried to buy me heaps of useless things. I said no but thank you for offering.
After I gave birth she brought my baby some clothes which is now being thrown in my face that ‘she brought me everything.’
Wow! Be happy your child people who love her enough to buy her expensive things. Say thank you & resell what you don’t want her to have.
In other news, I will be taking donations for my children this holiday season
Shoot I only had a small babyshower for my son and nothing for my daughter your lucky. I wish both sides of my family would spoil my kids as much as the rest of the kids
Just make it clear since y’all have so many things already if they can purchased items you really need or save the money for something than y’all eventually will need or would prefer as gifts I understand how it’s like to have so many things and no room for it all. Just also say you appreciate it all but you don’t have the space as it is anymore.
You could donate it to people in need, especially if you’re not gonna use it. I see a lot of people on my local facebook news pages asking for stuff they need because of some struggle in their life. A lot of times its moms asking for kid stuff!! Find a better home for stuff you dont use. Just be grateful even if it’s stuff you wont use or like because theres someone out there that could really use it!
god fluffy toys what a waste of money
First of all you should be thankful for anything someone buys for your child. They didn’t have to spend their money on your child but they did. Second if you aren’t going to use it you can return or sell it to buy what you need/will use. With my first I received a lot of gifts, I was thankful for every one but some I knew I wouldn’t use or need so I returned to the store (you can return to most stores without a receipt as long as you have your photo ID and get a gift card) and bought what I needed. Or I sold the things on FB and bought what I needed. And even when I returned or sold what was given and bought something else I still considered that a gift because I wouldn’t have had it without the original gift I was given.
I opened savings accounts for each grandchild. I put a dollar a day into the accounts. Right now they may not understand but when they are 18 they will have a nice start to their future endeavors. Trips and visits are a bonus. We bought parents family museum passes.
Just say thank you and spend less yourself. Man, people have some crazy “problems”
Bahaha no I have in laws that don’t care about their grandchildren!! But they do care about the other grandchildren from there sons 1st marriage! My kids are his also and they could care less!
Re-gift them to a mom in need
My dad always said…be grateful of anything that your given…and thankful. Some ppl grt nothing…if you dont use them just give them to someone who will be …congrats on your new baby …
Ek as ouma hou ook daarvan om vir my 2 kleinseuns te koop. Maar ek vra eers vir my skoondogter wat kan ek koop wat sy vir hulle wil he of wat hulle nodig het. Ek voel as ouma is dit die regte ding om te doen. Xxxxx
maybe suggest them putting money in 529 account for her college and purchase a small gift
U cant dictate what is baught be happy there buying her presents and care for your kid save it and have a garage sale if it doesnt get used or teach ur kid the value of giving to others and give old toys away to make room for new ones
Yes I have this problem. No matter how much I say my kids have way too much of everything and please no gifts, they continue to buy gifts. And those gifts go unused entirely or returned if possible I appreciate the gesture always, but I have made it clear that it’s way too much
Be grateful for it! And use what you can and donate the rest.
They just want to spoil their grandchild .
Well … I do that with my grandkids . But I’m also appreciated for it . If it’s something they don’t need or want I just let them know it’s ok to pass it on to some one that needs it or can use it
I would graciously except and donate old ones. Once they are into video games get the inlaws to fund those ! They r damn expensive!!!
Nope!! My in laws are dead to me and my kids, that’s how we like it
Be grateful only time my kids get something from theirs dad’s mom is xmas
My daughters dad’s family has nothing to do with her but my son’s fathers family whom has never met her get her stuff so be thankful
Mine refused to acknowledge the pregnancy and baby 🥲 show some gratitude and get rid of what you don’t need. Odds are they want to help and don’t know how.
Could ask for passes to places you would like to take her.
Just let people have their fun and give their gifts. Wait a few months and pass items off to other mums.
Re gift them. And be thankful that someone cares enough for your child to buy them anything. Not everyone has that.
I have a MIL that over-buys. Don’t get me wrong, I was grateful for everything until it was thrown into my face later on.
You can sell it on fb sites… but be thankful cause one day you might not have that
Be grateful. If you have too much or things you absolutely right use then donate it to people who DO need it
Be thankful if there is to much stuff donate it to people who needs it
Why don’t you do an amazon wish list? It’ll give people ideas etc
Send them my way…all 4 of mine are getting used items from OfferUp this year
How about giving what the child wouldn’t use to those who are less fortunate than others
My father in law is a major shopper and spoils the kids, primarily my son since he’s his only grandson. Clothes that’s outgrown we vacuum seal and store for the next kid, toys if they’re not used for a couple weeks at a time go for donation. We’re in the middle of a decluttering right now in preparation for Christmas. If they want to keep buying, that’s on them but you’re not obligated to clutter your house with it
Uhm. Its sad thought a lot of in law’s are crappy. But still. Your child doesn’t need to be spoiled. You can be grateful that they’re involved but don’t mean you need to let them spoil them. If they continue to buy them just simply say I really appreciate it but honestly she doesn’t need no more things. Please if you insist on buying her something but her a book.
I like most would love to have this problem. However if its stuff causing clutter and never used turn around and donate it to others
Girl. My kids have barely any family and they don’t even buy them anything on BIRTHDAYS. Most haven’t even laid eyes on my boys.
BE GRATEFUL and regift, donate, whatever.
My parents had this problem with me and my siblings. They just politely told them that we didn’t need a whole lot of toys or clothes, because we had so many things we couldn’t wear or play with it all and it just sat around. So they donated a lot of what we had and then politely refused gifts after, maybe tell them to get something like activity books (if they’re old enough for that) or reading books like you had mentioned, we always enjoyed reading books with sound tracks that you play when you read them, that might be a good idea. I hope everything turns out ok for you
Honestly be thankful people love your child as much as you do. It’s hard to find nowadays. Yes it might be hard to store but one day they will move out and you wont have a ‘cluttered’ house and fancy clothes to dress them in.
make them keep it at their place. I had to start telling people this or no we have enough stuff thanks. they’ll stop buying it all if they need to store it…
Say thank you then donate it.
Damn i sure wouldnt be complaining about it. Id accept them and keep what i want and donate the rest
I have an in law tbat over buys random shit we don’t want and then asks us where it is when he comes over and gets offended when we say we donated it. You will never win.
Just donate it or ask for a gift receipt so you can trade it for something you or your daughter will use
Tell them to keep everything at their house for when you visit!
It may seem overwhelming for you but since you know they want to gift you things just make a wish list so they know and have options what to specifically buy with sizes and whatever other specifics need to be included so those things will be used or wanted. But I wouldn’t tell them to stop. Kinda rude ya know? Especially when they are doing it out of love or because they care . Some families are like that and there is nothing wrong with it. And eventually after those things get used then donate it. Don’t cause an unnecessary rift if there is no reason to. Or just be straight up and tell them you done want it and don’t waste their money because you’re just gonna give it away. Choose your battles wisely
I cannot believe In This day and age how ungrateful and thoughtless some people are. In our day we were grateful for anything. Just be kind that’s all life is about. Would it make a difference if it was your mother that did this. I wonder
They buy her stuff because they love her. You can always pass it on to someone who needs baby stuff.
I get overwhelmed with “gifted items” as well. I feel like we have so many toys and clothes. I am grateful but at the same time I just will get rid of/donate what we don’t need.
I have a toy box in my daughter’s room and in the living room. If I had a playroom I’d put everything in there with no issue but since we don’t our living room is basically a playroom. I keep games and play doh and things like that in the closet. I also save a couple things to let her open later on when she’s bored or something. When she outgrows a toy I donate it or resell it and buy new clothes or shoes with the money. It’s really a blessing and I try to look at it that way.
my in laws don’t buy my kids anything simply because they do not like me . if I can’t use what was given to me I pass on to someone else who can. if they get offended and ask where the time went tell them the truth it is not you’re responsibility for their feelings if u have asked politely they quit over buying things for you’re child. I’m sure other mothers who cannot afford to buy new things would love to have items donated to them or maybe even to the local women shelters they can always use children’s stuff .
Sell it, donate it, regift it to someone else?
I would say have a conversation and maybe see if they’ll take it easy on buying her things. My mother in law is amazing and always sends our daughter something even if it’s just a card, it’s her first grandchild and she just loves buying her things, but when our daughter started acting out we told her that we would be putting toys/treats etc on hold until she shows us otherwise and she was very understanding! Just communicate kindly and respectfully.
Please do not take a grandparents joy away from them
Be grateful they care. Donate what you don’t need.
Same consensus across the board donate what u cant use or dont want. I cant seem 2 get what I actually ask 4 from my family so i dont know y they bother asking what they should get mine for birthday christmas ect. I also regift a bunch of stuff. I ask not 2 get certain things because I have 2 clean it up or she simply dont play with it.
Giving gifts could just be their love language. My moms love language is acts of service, my hubby’s is gifts. It could just be how they express their love. Someone mentioned a great idea of keeping a wishlist. You can create one on Amazon for your child and then just keep adding or subtracting whatever suits your little one and send them the link.
If it comes up in conversation you could suggest experiences instead. Such as zoo passes, pool passes, music lessons, or something of that nature. This is what we started doing, because we have four kids and a small house. Sometimes people listen, sometimes not, but its worth a try.
You might suggest a savings account for her to be used for her first car, post high school education etc.
If you don’t want them I’m sure the many pregnant ladies they would be great full for them.
Not trying to come off being ungrateful by being ungrateful. Lol.
I feel the same way, while I am grateful for their expressions of love and adoration, I think the money being spent should be spent on more useful items like diapers, wipes, and various clothing sizes. Not that these things cannot be purchased by me but, everyone knows raising a child is expensive. Any little bit of the cost down in one area can greatly help in another. There is no need for anyone to come for you being hateful. Being smart with money and teaching your child that same lesson early on can be extremely beneficial.
Yessss. My in laws do that too. They over step by trying to get all my daughters “firsts” like a first day of school outfit or back pack. I tried to talk with them about it but they didn’t stop
We encourage our family members to spend time with our children instead of buying them “things”…a trip to the zoo, go out to breakfast, a membership to the aquarium, etc. We feel that time together to build memories is much more important for young children. Things are different these days with Covid but we make it work still! Good luck!
ummmm be happy your inlaws want to buy things and be a part of your childs life period
Let them buy for their grandkids… just make sure they are willing to keep all that stuff at their house. The kids will play with them when they come over.
The best advice I can give, is let them buy what they want and then you can just return it or give it to charity. I would just allow them to buy it and then once it’s at your house then you have control of where it goes. Or ask if they can just take them for day trips to the zoo or a park.
Yes but I say thank you and go on a returning spree
I think I would just be thankful for every bit of it. My son has 1 grandparent that sends something at Christmas and Birthday. That’s it. You can’t tell a person how to spend their money.
Yup. I’ve just gotten to the point that I smile and say thank you and a lot of it goes in a closet and eventually gets donated. I try to drop hints on what he likes right now, sizes of clothes and shoes. But honestly you can’t control what they buy, only your own reaction. Best of luck this holiday season!
Ask them to buy “experiences” instead