Am I a bad mom because I just wanna go pee without my two years old attached to my hip? My kiddo is two, and I’ve been a single mama with absolutely zero help sense he was born and the last two weeks, he has basically been on me 24/7, and whenever I go to the bathroom he basically has to be sitting in my lap, or he screams, and he always has to be on me or holding onto me in some way… I feel like the worst mom in the entire world because I just don’t want him on me all the time and I just want to relax… I’m debating on even posting this because I feel absolutely horrible. Me and him have never even been away from each other, In almost three years, except for when he naps. Am I terrible?
Nope not at all…we all need a minute to ourselves
You sound human to me
No they need to learn boundaries. I told all mine bathroom time is private time. Not hard. They will cry but it wont hurt them. Youre letting him control you and coddling him.
My 6 year old waits by the door lmao
Nope. I was the same way when mine where little. Sometimes a mom just needs 5 minutes without someone in your personal space. Its perfectly normal. When my boys got a little older, I would get a one hour bath a couple nights a week. Unless there was blood or fire, do not disturb. One uninterrupted hour was not to much to ask for.
Some mom time just makes you a better mom for him.
If you can, make him a place to wait for you outside of the bathroom. Take you moment, & return to him. Make the wait a bit longer each time. Explain to him about privacy.
If that’s what you need to recoup and have a-renewed moment then that’s what you should do!
Not at all. My almost 2 yr old is the same way. If I walk away from her for a second you would think the world ended for her. I’m not a single mom but she could give two fucks about her dad leaving the room. She is still nursing too so she is still all over me I can’t even sleep at night without her on top of me. My first child was so much easier so it’s still hard to cope with how needy she is.
Totally normal. When u start with boundaries, for example, the other side of the bathroom door and sticking fingers under it so u can still see him and hear him. Thats what I did to my kids, then expanded out from there. Eventually, with potty training, I was the one on the outside of the door. Make it a game, the “game” attitude seems to make it a tad easier for them to adjust. Its ok mom, u need ur sanity.
Ask for help, anyone? A friend a relative? It sounds like you need a relaxing bubble bath ? All by yourself.
It might be difficult but it’s for the greater good.
It’s seperation anxiety. My son had it because I was a single mom for the first four years of his life I taught him that bathroom time is private time he even now forgets to knock lol
Its a clingy shitty stage, and its hard work. And its totally normal for you to want some space.
If you cant cope with shutting the door and letting them scream through it try this.
Get a little chair/stool, start with it right beside you and they sit on it while you go to the toilet. Once you’ve got them sitting gradually move it further away. Some can move away faster than others. Once the chair is outside the door you can progress to gradually closing the door. Once you’ve done your business washed (taken to to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are an amazing mum) then they get up.
Whatever method you choose, stick to it and hang in there, you will get there!
You are not terrible. Most single parents have some difficulty with 24/7
Nope it’s ok if you take a glass of wine in there too for a quick min:wink:
Let him scream he’ll be alright.
Let him scream hun,he won’t die…mama’s need a minute tooo
He’s not used to closed doors with mommy. Your not a bad mom! We all go through this. Just try to occupy him with something else while you do your thing. Talk to him and tell him exactly what you are doing. Going bathroom/showering. Once he understands he will let up little by little.
Perfect time for sitting him on a potty chair…
Oh momma don’t feel bad. He has to learn that mommy has to go potty by herself like a big girl and this way you introduce him to learn to go potty himself. Make it a game for him.
Oh, how I remember these days… My daughter was the same way. 24 years later, we are close. She calls me every day and we do stuff together all the time. My family still jokes with us about her still being connected to my hip. She is the love of my life, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Nope mine does the same, but at that age I let him as I wanted him to learn to potty. Could he try to go potty while you are?
Not at all .We all need a minute to ourselves.
You are not terrible at all. You are entitled to some “me time” even if it’s to the bathroom. My daughter is 1 and does this sometimes. I put her in the crib and tell her I’ll be right back. Yes she screams and cries but I still go to the bathroom and do my thing and come back to get her and she’s all smiles.
No, you are a normal mum. can he be enrolled in daycare regularly? He is clingy because he’s a kid .they do this. Try to potty train him while he is in there with you.
They shouldn’t and need to learn boundaries and privacy
Why are you asking the opinions of people who don’t know you or your child? Do your best and screw the rest.
Honey I totally understand. My two daughters 4 and 15 is in my bathroom talking to me, complaining , and showing me stuff while I just want to be left alone to use the bathroom and have a shower in peace.
I’m 63 and my grandkids follow me did I mention dog and cat too!! I’m glad that I’m that loved and trusted. It stops when they get older and start wanting their privacy they then understand.
Start putting him on the potty too. Teach him about private time and bathroom boundaries. Eventually you’ll get there it will just take some training! Lol
Single mom here too. They go through clingy stages about that time. I remember mine doing the same thing and I got fed up with her all over me at all times as well. I told her I was going potty and left the door open but pushed her off of me and ignored her while I went potty. She eventually figured out it was boring and started to leave me alone there. Also a good time to potty train them.
My two year old was like that but now she knows Mommy needs to poop alone, that a locked bathroom door doesn’t mean that I’m leaving her, so she waits for me outside the door quietly…
No way are you a bad Mum for wanting to pee and poop in private! Geez, that used to be my escape room when I wanted a few minutes to myself and not lose my mind! I made my kids wait outside the door - and yep, at times they hollered and cried - but they’re now 30 and 26 and they turned out just fine.
Shut the door and enjoy the fleeting moments of (somewhat) peace
Nah… you aren’t terrible… your a mom with a small child… sometimes… all three of my littles and the cat follow me in it’s usually the cat that tried getting on my lap while someone else tries to get me paper and so kindly wipe my butt … cause you know… we donut for them. I don’t actually let them wipe me but they obviously wouldn’t mind
Keep your chin up… he’s only little for a bit.
Yur normal! Kids are allowed to cry… aslong as you know he’s not hurt and there’s nothing wrong with him then leave him be, lock him out of the bathroom… he’ll figure out how to self soothe and he’ll also figure out that mommy always comes back and he doesn’t need to be afraid. Give it time and most importantly be consistent. I have 3 kids and they all 3 went thru the same thing. Don’t be so hard on yourself either… it may feel harsh but there’s nothing wrong with needing alone time especially away from yur kids that require all your attention all the time, it’s exhausting and anyone that tells you it isn’t is lying to you! Either he can get on board or he can learn what its like when mommy loses her shit!
Nope just get ready for hands under the door
No it don’t make you a bad mom because you want to go to the bathroom by yourself.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you wanting to use the bathroom by yourself so long as the child is properly secured in a playpen or crib.
You’re not terrible you just want some space which is fine you have to pretty much demand your space in order for it to happen. go to the bathroom and close the door if he cries outside the door he will survive you’re not going to be in there forever. If you need some you time and he’s hanging on you let’s say you’re cooking dinner put him in his high chair so he can see you he’s in the same room with you he’s just not on you
No it doesn’t make you a bad mom because you want to go to the bathroom by yourself. Not at all don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise!!!
Nope but I’d sooner keep any eye on them “Crap” happens when they are our of site. My dog even follows me
Gosh no! You aren’t a bad mom to go to the bathroom alone. I’m not sure how you feel about screen time but that helps for when I need 5 seconds to pee by my self.
Oh my gosh, I can’t stand having mine in the bathroom with me! I let her though so she starts getting used to the thought of a potty so that she will potty train one day, but it’s hard. I wish I had 5 seconds to myself to just pee
Absolutely not hun. Getting over touched is totally a thing moms experience. Don’t feel bad to take time to yourself even if it upsets your littles.
Not at all momma my two year old daughter follows me everywhere alway on me or has to be really really close to me and I get frustrated sometimes because I just want a breather from her but I try and remind myself to also enjoy it because she’s gonna grow up so fast and not wanna be with me much that’s what I tell myself to feel better anyways your not alone a lot of us mommas wish and want to pee alone and just have some time for are selves
Just go to the bathroom n lock it n let him cry it out he’ll be fine trust me
What you are feeling is quite understandable and normal as a single mom you probably held your child 24/7 as a baby, and being the sole parent over compensated with attention. Time to start setting boundaries with him, close the door let him cry on the other side, you might have to get some latches put out of his reach. You need to start teaching he can play and be away from you, maybe even look for a friend for him, hire a sitter to be with him while you take a long hot bath, or go out for dinner by yourself. You need to make you time, it really does help.
I have 3 boys … I have ALWAYS gone to the bathroom alone . It’s my only safe place lmao (they are 7, 4 and 2) … just go . Shut the door . Lock it. If they come banging let them . Hell figure out soon enough that you’ll be right back
Said as simply as I can…no you are not horrible, I get like this, and my skin litterally crawls and gets goosebumps sometimes when my 1yo is like this…
No don’t ever think that. It’s OK to want to pee without no kids. It’s OK to let them cry on the other side of the door it’s starting to set boundaries even though they may not understand at the moment they will get it
NO. You are not a bad mom at all. I can relate. My family lives 10 minutes away and they refuse to baby sit or ask for my kids. Breaks are non-existent. We are still women. We’re not just mom. So many people give up their identity and just are MOM. Not sorry, but I’m still a person who has likes and interests outside of my child and I just would like to experience them again once a month (like a break). Anyway I still make sure my kids feel loved and want for nothing. I don’t know how to get your child to stop that, but know you’re not in the wrong for how you feel.
Nope! My 3 year old likes to ‘help’ in the bathroom too… I’ve recently convinced him to stand outside the door and watch for monsters, seems to do the trick! He still feels like he’s helping and with me, and I don’t get awkward bathroom questions
Mama you deserve that time and more being a single mom is unbelievably difficult sometimes just being able to bathe or use the toilet gives you a moment to recharge yourself never feel bad about needing a little time
I told my husband I wanted a new toilet seat every time I sat on mine it yelled mom
Single mom since the day I found out I was expecting. My son will be 2 Thursday. He does the exact same thing. And I feel the exact same way. I’ll even give him his tablet and he will zone out and ignore me while on it. Until I go to the freaking bathroom. He has to maintain visual at ALL TIMES
baby gate with limited view but… view
Bless your heart for even asking:heart: If I was your friend and you called me asking me this… I’d tell you no. Absolutely not love. Going pee isn’t going to the mall alone, going to the spa to get your nails or hair done, going for a solo drive with the windows down blasting music and singing at the top of your lungs. It doesn’t even fall in the self care for mamas category. When we pee it’s ain’t but a few minutes from shutting the door to washing our hands. For me at least it’s a few precious moments I can take a few deep breaths in and get myself together. You’re an amazing mom always know this. Motherhood as we all know it the most AMAZING yet tiresome job we will ever have. I’m very open with my husband when I tell him that I feel touched out from time to time. If you’re not familiar with that term to sum it up kinda like you’re saying being grabbed, pulled at and having constant touch drains you after so long. It’s SOOOOO important to not allow yourself to be drained to empty. Allow yourself to recharge and reboot. Open up to your partner and or support system. Take that time that you can get free to take a long soak in a hot bath with candles… yes create a sap like atmosphere. Please don’t take this the wrong way but my best friend told me to wake up an hr early every morning to give myself time to start the day, drink HOT coffee and a WARM meal… meditate/yoga/read a book/bath anything:heart: First few days were SOO HARD but I pushed myself and eventually even though I lost an hour that one hour I got to jumpstart my day in silence honestly made me a better person which in the end made me a better mom.
No, you are right to set boundaries. Shut the bathroom door, for now. Continue with small steps, to teach him independence from you.
Absolutely not I have a 15 month old and she’s the same. Sometimes us mommas need 5 min to get it together and keep chugging along.
Where I am not single my husband does work a lot and my daughter is seriously attached to me when she’s not in daycare and I feel this 1000%.
I have found the art of distraction is the best for her as our bathroom is right off our kitchen so I try to get her to play with toys or bang on some pots and pans with spoons or give her my pie tins to make noise with and I can usually sneak while still keeping an eye on her
Nope, we all feel this way momma. But, one day you’ll wish you could go back and just hold him close.
Not at all mama thats me with my 4 year old he still so attached to me and i feel bad at times when i say let me pee by myself
Girl that DOES NOT make you a bad mom! Honestly I would close, and eventually lock, my bathroom door when I needed to use the restroom. I didn’t used to when I needed to pee only when I needed to take a shit lol but eventually I used it as my 45 seconds of alone time and eventually I realized I really needed that moment to myself. My kids are ALWAYS attached at the hip but I just kept telling myself as long as they’re crying at the door they aren’t getting into thing nor are they hurting themselves so they’ll be ok lol
No not at all. My daughter ( whom lives with us) 3 year old follows her everywhere. She sometimes has to sneak out our side door because he freaks out when she leaves
Oh I get this… bathroom is the only place it’s mine lol.
No? Lol. Mine is the same. A mamas boy. Enjoy it, they dont stay little
Definitely not. In fact, you’re doing him good by helping him get used to life without you around all the time in short amounts. As he gets older, he will need to develop independence and confidence that even when he can’t see you, you will always be there to support him. Going to the bathroom alone is starting out smaller, but it’s he best thing for both of you. Every Mama needs Mama time.
You don’t need to feel guilty for just wanting to pee in peace. He will be just fine to cry for a minute.
Girlllll! Little secret, WE ALL FEEL THIS WAY! But the mom shamers got behind their keyboards and started their bullshit making us feel inadequate for wanting 5 seconds of alone time a day. You’re not alone. And you’re not a bad mom for wanting to take a leak or drop a load without an audience. I used to have the whole mom guilt thing going on when it came to that. I’d give in every time. But 4 kids deep in this mom life, I’m pretty sure I’m not causing any major life changing emotional traumas by peeing alone or forcing them out of the kitchen while I cook and if I am, I’ll use the savings for their first car to send them to therapy instead
Oh honey go easier on yourself!!! Mom’n is a full time job, of course you want and NEED a few moments alone. That in NO way makes you a bad mom!! If anything this says more about the opposite, bad moms don’t care if it makes them a bad mom. It’s going to be a struggle with him for a little bit, he’s going to hate everything about you creating some personal boundaries here, but stick with it!!! Have him sit outside the door, get a 5$ stool (harbor freight) let him decorate it, all while you tell him now that he’s such a big boy little boys don’t go potty with big girls. Will he understand? Nope. Or ask him to hold something of yours while you go, your phone maybe (this works for a friend, I had a ring I got just for separation issues that I paid next to nothing for in case it got lost) because you can’t wash your hands with it. They like being “helpful” at this age, get creative.
Either way no matter what course of action you choose, it will be ok. You will be ok. So will your little one. And be kinder to yourself while you’re doing it. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend don’t say it about yourself!!! Luck!!!
I felt this way too. My oldest was like this around that age too. It was frustrating. Nothing helped but time for him to grow out of it.
Everyone deserves to pee in peace…and alone time in general is important to your sanity…a happy mom is a good mom. Put him in a crib or a safe room while u pee and tell that mom guilt to eff off.
You need to set boundaries with him. If you don’t want him in the bathroom, don’t let him in. I lock the bathroom door and remind my son I need privacy while going potty when he tries coming in.
I have to ask this.
How does a mom create/makes such dependency on a child? Why in the world would you feel bad for wanting to use the toilet, the most private thing and not wanting a child to be on your lap while you use it?
I just don’t get it.
Being your child’s siameses doesn’t mean you love him more. Sleeping with your child doesn’t show you love him more.
It’s important to teach independence to a little kid. It makes them confident, it makes them smarter, it allows the mother to not feel overwhelmed. It keeps your sanity.
In those 3 years you haven’t leave him at all? How is that even possible?
Raising needy children isn’t a sign of love.
You need to re-evaluate this method. Because it won’t help him in the long run.
I’ve given up on the peeing by myself but I do have a spot on the counter where I can sit and be out of reach! I enjoy “me” time… it’s difficult! Hahaha dreading the time he can climb up there with me
You are not a bad Mom. Kids go through stages and Yours is in that ,I don’t want You out of my sight ! Hang in there Mom. He’ll out grow it before high sch. (joke)
It ok mama i hide in the bathroom all the time. We all need alone time
This happens alot. Its why moms talk about hiding in the closet or a pantry to enjoy 5 minutes of peace. Don’t feel bad, he will be okay.
My son is like that always attached to me. He doesn’t always come to the bathroom with me. I do go alone. Then times I bring him along so I know he isn’t getting into trouble. And I entertain him. I fling a hair tie across my bathroom while I go and he runs to get it. And I repeat. Be happy your baby only wants you (: I’m struggling with my own thoughts right now but keep telling myself it’s all okay
I know it’s annoying…But be lucky. Bc ukw? My 19mo twins seem to love their grandma more than me. When she’s around i become chopped liver and i seem to be nothing but their food giver. I’m never anyones favorite so I’m used to it. So cherish being his one and only😟
No u r good mom, kids do thatand drive u crazy, been there.
I am still in the process of weaning my 2.5 year old twins and I feel this…can’t bathe shit or pee by myself as well as I find myself getting slightly irritated when they’re nursing sometimes to where I feel guilty cause I made it my duty to nurse them when they were small…they were 28 weekers…from what I’ve read it’s normal but I still feel alil guilt cause I love them more than life itself but I would like to be able to have my body back and my privacy…
Girl no! I never bring my kid with me to the bathroom at home! He’s 1.5 years old and still cries at the door. It takes me a whole 30 seconds and he’s completely fine when I come back out.
Close the door and lock it yes he will scream but eventually he will understand
Why does he feel like you are going to leave him? The bathroom thing is always going to be. Mine lay down and tried to see under the door. Get a little pottie chair and tell him what you are doing. mabe you will get lucky and train him early
Not a bad mum. Lock him out every single time, they get used to it
I tell mine. You must really like smelly stuff, even if I’m going #1. They look at me with the wth face! LoL
If you can afford ot hire someone to come to your place and play with him. You need to go somewhere alone even if it’s just alone. If you can’t afford it ask a friend to do it. You can. Start small and work up to an hr. You need time for just you.
Does he go to daycare?
No your not. You’ve got to have some me time for you sanity.
I must be the worst because I tell my kids to get out finally got my 4 year old to leave me alone by doing the peanut butter on his hand when he handed me toilet paper
Definitely not terrible. I don’t have any advice because I have a 4 year old that still follows me in the bathroom. Just know you aren’t alone!
My son did the same thing. I know it is so frustrating when you have 0 me time. I put a little potty in the bathroom with me. He would sit when I sat and it at least got him off of me and well he potty trained really quickly. Best of luck to you.
You are not a bad Mom, Just take a few deep breaths and know sooner than you realize that he will no longer want to sit on your lap, and That is harder than having him attached to your hip.
Not at all!! I have 3 that are 5 and under. My 3 year old and 21 month old constantly follow me to the bathroom. I’ve started locking the door because I can go by myself. It’s not happening as often since I started the bathroom door being locked lol. It gets better momma!
You place the child in a safe spot and you tend to your business they will be fine while u shower or pee or just need a moment
Not terrible but firm boundaries with love perhaps need to be set. Y0u need some time to your self and child need reassurance that if you leave for a little while , you will be back… I would recommend reading Dr. James Dodson’s" Tough Love," ( Mother who raised 5 boys and taught Kg. for many years).
Everyone needs a break. When my kids screamed and cried when nothing was wrong and they were safe I would remind myself how well they slept after a tantrum. Everyone needs a break- take it easy on yourself.
You are NOT a terrible mom! Every mom that I know needs a break away from their kids every once in a while! We have all been through this.
Nothing wrong with wanting to go to the bathroom alone. I let mine in the bathroom with me, hoped it would help potty training if they saw how the grown ups did it, but the week of my period I needed “private time” in the bathroom. Did not want to explain tampons to a two year old!! He would sit right out side the door and talk to me the whole time though. Same in public bathrooms. I didn’t let him in the stall, but he had to be touching the other side of the door and keep talking to me so I would be sure he hadn’t wandered off while I was in the restroom. Not sure how you will get that alone time, but nothing wrong with wanting it.