Does it make me a bad mom to send my daughter to daycare?

I have a two year old daughter. I run my own in home daycare. My husband and I have been talking about maybe letting her go to a daycare that has a preschool like setting two days a week. Does this make me look like a bad mother? I love her to pieces but sometimes I need time. She has really bad anxiety when I leave to do anything whether I go to store or even step outside my house. What do I do?

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It’s a good idea she can gain some independence.

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Not at all ! I work at a daycare and we aren’t allowed to have our own in our class. Once the move to which ever room their parent teaches in the teacher is moved. So dont feel bad as in a licensed center you would have to put her elsewhere

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I think it’s a great idea twice a week. It gives him independence away from her own parents just like the other kids that attend your daycare are getting.

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Maybe take a step back from the in home daycare for a bit an focus on what’s making your daughters anxiety act up. That could be her way of getting your attention.

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Absolutely not! If you feel she needs to learn to be away from you and get into a pre-school setting to get ready for school… that makes you a great mom. You’re willing to separate from your daughter for her benefit!! And putting her needs above yours!! Way to go mom!!!

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Might be beneficial if you have no other kids in her age group. She can also gain indepence. If you can afford it do it.

The fact you want a preschool setting, I would send her to a preschool. A lot of church based preschool are part time and very involved . You can possibly do two days a week. That way she gets use to being around other kiddos with out mama.

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It would be good for her to have some time away from mom, I waited a year before I would let my daughter be babysat by my MIL, and honestly it made things better for my daughter and myself. She had someone else to learn from and she wasn’t as stressed when I left without her.

HER DAUGHTER HAS ANXIETY WHEN SHE LEAVES TO DO ANYTHING :roll_eyes::roll_eyes: it doesn’t make you a bad mom to send her to a different daycare so she can learn to slowly not be so attached to you! I know exactly how you feel. Just because she runs a daycare and wants to send her to a different daycare doesn’t make her a bad mom whatsoever. Yall ridiculous.

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No! do it let her interact with more kids and she will learn alot more!

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No it doesnt make you a bad mom. Sometimes you need a break from your own kid, especially if you are working.

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It would be a great experience for her , with going to preschool she may learn some independence.

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Yes I would- what you do is work- regardless of if it’s from home- don’t let any other mum belittle you. She will learn so much & in the end it will be great for her & you too…independence, fun & learning.
Where’s the harm in that?
Peoples comments piss me off- where is the love and support, happy to jump down someone’s throat whom you don’t even know :woman_facepalming:

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I know SEVERAL in home daycare providers who else do their kiddos to a daycare/preschool setting a couple days a week. It’s good for the kids to be away from mom and learn how to behave around other kids without their mom. As well as good for them to be away from home, as far as not on their own turf. It’s a neutral turf for everyone

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I fully credit daycare with my son being so independent. I don’t think some other posters understand that it’s so much more than someone just watching your child.

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I’m just going to go get a glass of water

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It’s great for her social development.

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I don’t think it’s a stupid question to ask.
Sometimes moms need a break from their own kids too.
Watching someone else kids is different from carrying for your own 24/7.
They get to go home and both parties get a break from one another til the next day.

But anyways as far as what your saying
Nope your not a bad mom
It’s better to have your child get use to being apart from you for a few hours out of the week. So when kinder starts they aren’t crying like crazy for the first few weeks.
I had a friend who did the same and she ran a daycare herself it helped out a lot for her daughter and her to get a break a few hours a week.
To learn how to be apart from her mom.

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I worked as a daycare teacher at one daycare and took my kids with me for a whole year it became alot so I put them in a different daycares few times a week it helped alot

It will be great idea she can get more independent from mommy vesides its only 2 days a week

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I personally think it is a good idea to let her go somewhere else. She will gain some independence being away from you and she will grow from it. You don’t have to justify it to anyone else!

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I would just so she can get familiar that mommy wont always be around by her side 24-7

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Full day… no. What I would do is 1/2 day preschool at 3 . BUT I chose to stay home with my youngest 2 boys They all did 3 mornings of preschool at 3 and then either 4 or 5 mornings of preschool at 4 ( the year before they went to kindergarten. Full days were out of the question for me Half day worked great once they hit 3 and were ready for actual pre school VS daycare with a learning program.

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Of course that doesn’t make you a bad mother! Your little one needs to learn how to cope without you around 247. Start now, don’t wait!

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Idk whats wrong with all these ppl being rude. Its not bad at all to want your child to be introduced to new things. In a different setting she can learn how to interact with other children without you around and it will help with her anxiety when you leave. I personally think thats a great idea

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Did anyone even read the post ? Or yall just rather be ignorant and judgemental

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In my opinion it would probably do her good to get out of the house and help her with being able to do things with out you. As long as you take it slow

She needs the break from mom. My cousin Michelle Ketola works for a daycare and sends her son to preschool head start just to learn the ropez without momma there. Its totally ok

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I know moms who sent their little ones to half day daycare just to have free time. As long as you are comfortable with it then do it. It will also help with the anxiety and prepare for school.

You shouldn’t worry about what other people think. But sending your child to a daycare that has preschool is not bad. You’re setting your child up to be independent and also to be ready to enter kindergarten. Definitely do it! :grin:

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Its Not a dumb question. People on here are petty

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I do daycare and I know fellow daycare providers who send their own kids to pre school and even summer Serrf(program through the school durning summer) I don’t think there is anything wrong with it. Would I personally do it. No. Not at all. But to each their own. I think if you want to. And your husband agrees then so be it. Don’t worry about what others think or may do. Either way your kiddo is learning and progressing. So who cares what anyone besides you and her dad think.

I have 4 kids and nanny for 5 others…I honestly would never pay for my child to go to daycare when
A. I am home anyway
B. Because she will start school at 3 anyway?

That being said I do understand where you are coming from

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No. Full stop. Sending your child to daycare does not make you a bad mother despite what other people may try to make you feel.

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my 2 year old does x2 6 hour days at nursery and x1 3 hour day at week. was literally my shadow at home but really come out of her self and loves going to “school” as she calls it. do what you thinks best for your child x

2 days a week sounds like a good thing to me, it gives her a chance to see that you don’t have to be there 24/7 and this will help when it does come time for school.

Oh Lord no mama!!! It’s going to help her social development!!! It’s a great way for that and many other things. Like when she start school she won’t have a break down from separation anxiety, it boost her confidence, independence and all the head starts on education. Best decision I ever made with my son!!! It helps more than most think it would

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Deffo send her of she has this anxiety already it will help her xxxx

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Wow… I’m about to block this group. You all are so negative and mean. This is a fellow mama who is struggling with a spacific decision, so she asked for opinions of other mama’s. She didn’t ask to be treated like a pos! Way to support your fellow mom’s and women! This is what’s wrong with society. You guys wanna bash and shame this mom for asking a legitimate question. Smh. :woman_facepalming: it’s not like she said “hey cant handle my little brat anymore, I’m gonna send her off, start hitting me with negativity y’all!” I hope you all teach your kiddos to be nicer than clearly your mama’s taught you to be. You all should be ashamed of the negativity you are putting on this poor mama who is clearly in a tough decision right now and in need of positive advice, not to be put down.

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I think it’s a great idea, especially if she’s struggling with seperation anxiety. You don’t want her dealing with that once she’s in kindergarden and attendance matters. I don’t know if it makes a difference to you, but at that age most daycares still have them nap in the afternoon. So when it comes to half day vs full day, its really a matter of if you want to spend money to have someone else watch your kid sleep so you can use that time for yourself or if you mind being on house arrest during naptime. I always find it more difficult to get my toddler to nap in the afternoon if I pick her up from school at lunchtime, and it only gets more difficult with age.

Kelsey… :flushed::face_with_hand_over_mouth: this is why I didn’t want a Facebook… People get behind a screen and talk a bunch of crap and are mean to one another. I bet half these women wouldn’t say ANYTHING in person on this matter.

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You run a day care but want to send her to day care? Whatever the case, do it. She’ll be fine. :woman_facepalming:

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No it doesn’t make you a bad mom. She may enjoy some alone time.

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No it will help her too

NEVER feel bad about needing time for yourself. It’s the biggest load of shit society has done to mothers and even fathers.

Might be good for you both. She will get a chance to develop better confidence and you get a break to have grown up time.

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Ultimately, it’s up to you and what’s best for your family.
My thought though… If my daycare services didn’t offer other children what I wished for my own, I’d change it. I would offer my child and the others whatever I felt they needed.

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We’d all be bad mothers at somepoint for thinking like that

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I’m a SAHM and my two year old goes to preschool 5 days a week from 8am to 12:30. She gets social skills and I get a break. I guess I am too lol :joy:

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Mamas Uncut I don’t understand how this is funny, do you?

Absolutely not. She’ll get a genuine preschool experience. I’ve learned people are going to have something to say no matter what you do so do what’s best for you & your family :heart:

Absolutely not. Honestly it would probably do her good to be around other kids and get her ready for school settings.

I think her being away from you for aome time will help her social dwvelopment and separation anxiety. Also, having her in a preschool setting as apposed to daycare setting (what it sounda like to me) would benefit her and you with refards to growth.

I personally have 3 kids. I have been able to take time off (maybe 2 years each) and would not pay for daycare if I’m home. I just cant justify the expense. My youngest is about to start daycare and she has severe separation anxiety. Im hoping it helps.

****Also, what people think about you does NOT matter. You need to do what is best for your family.

Time away from you can help her anxiety. Doesn’t make you a bad mom.

No, if you feel it will benefit her than try it. I stayed at home and my daughter was very attached. I didn’t mind it but it was holding her back. I sent her to school 2 days a week for 1/2 days and the growth we saw in her was amazing!

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Do it. As a preschool teacher, the worst thing you can do is be a full time teacher for your child in a daycare or preschool setting. They don’t want to listen because they see you as mom and not the teacher and it sets a bad example for other students. So if you need time, that’s ok. You’re human. Everyone needs a break. Do what you think is best.

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no it will not make you a BAD MOM. I am a sahm and I send my 2yr old to a mothers day out program 3 days a week. She has learn so much since she started. Do what works for your family. Dont worry about what others think or say because someone is always going to have something negative to say.

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Send her. Ultimately it’s your choice but kindergarten teachers have told me that kindergarten is easier for kids who have had time away. They adjust faster and have less behavior issues bc they’re used to being instructed by someone other than a parent.

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Mine never went to daycare their cousin kept them by the time my daughter came along my mother in law retired so she kept her

No maam, you are Not a bad mom!!
You need it for yourself
I personally feel its better for the child, helps them be alittle more independent
This benefits the both of you in such specific ways.
You’ll feel better, I promise

If it’s education based school. That’s best for baby. :two_hearts::two_hearts:

Omg absolutely not!! You need mommy time! That would and could never make you a bad mom… Amd it would be good for the baby to br im a school type atmosphere it helps ease the transition into regular school.

I also run my own day care at home but I preferred sending my daughter to another day care . She’s grade 3 now and its the best decision I made for both of us. My son who is 12 months old will also go to another day care after he is pottytraind .

First of all our own kids would take more of attention than what we would give to other kids.

Our own kids would become jealous coz we spending time with the other kids.

Also they would become nasty an start saying things like it not ur toys it’s my mom’s and so on.

Her social skills were much better after placing her in another day care.

Just my 2 cents and speaking of experience

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I think admins should just stop posting questions. It turns into bashing rather than being helpful

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Try a teaching toy for anxiety and I had bad anxiety buy my mom told me have a cold face cloth and put on your neck and I used bring a brown paper bag to breathe into. Meds aren’t the answer.

Nah it wouldn’t make you a bad mom, I wish I could afford daycare. She’d only be there for what, two days a week, and in a preschool setting, sounds good to me. In order to be your best self and care for her, you need a break. It’s okay mama

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I think this is a great decision to help her out with being away from Mom, especially with school not being too far down the road.

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We all need a break girl if that is ur and ur husband’s choice then u do it

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Don’t worry about who thinks your a bad mom

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I am a sahm and in August we decided to send my 2 year old to half day “pre preschool”. While I was an emotional wreck and asked myself multiple times if I was doing the right thing (“am I abandoning her?” “Is she ready?” “What am I going to do with that time?”) it was the best decision for all of us. It helped her social skills tremendously, she’s talking sooo much more and she even started potty training because she saw other kiddos trying. And, I now have time to actually focus on our home maintenance and it makes me feel great to know Im not desperately rushing to get cleaning done. The decision is yours in the long run and there will always be people to say “don’t do it” but if you are feeling it’s a good idea then it’s probably a good idea

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Try her love, if its too much just take her out. May help her to mix better x

I think it’s an excellent idea!! She needs,a break from mom too!!

You can’t pour from an empty cup. You have to take time for you too.

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Absolutely not- the socialization she’ll get in a structured program is good for her.

Can we go one day without someone bashing? PLEASE. I will start banning people.

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I deleted all rude comments. Sorry OP. YOU ARE NOT a bad mother. You are an amazing mother. Send her to daycare and let her get used to that setting. It’ll help so much when she starts school.

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I think it’s a good idea. It shows your a good mom if anything. It’s good to have time apart. The social interactions without a parent nearby are valuable. Plus it gives her a wider range of education. Nothing wrong with it in my book.

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I ran an in home daycare and my little one did just fine starting school. I was worried because of her not wanting to be away from me but she adjusted very well with no problems! It just depends on your child and if you think she needs it then go for it!!

I got a part time job away from my 2 year old. Its helped SO much with her anxiety. Its taught her I will come back.

i was a sahm and i sent my son twice a week a year before he started school for seperation anxiety and to get him used to a school like setting with rules and such :slight_smile: if i was in your situation i would definitely send her to another daycare

I did the same thing. Ran a daycare from home and sent mine esle where

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You run a day care so it sounds like she’s getting plenty of socialization and time away from you so my question is why would you want to?
Just to have a break on your days off? Or during your open hours?
I personally could never but I worked in a day care and currently have a 2½yr old son so that’s just me.

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I think it’s a great idea I am thinking about doing it with Skyler too for social and development

It will do her some good

Doesn’t make you a bad parent, but if you are doing it to help her to get use to being away from you when she starts school I wouldn’t worry about that because when my oldest son was 2 he was so attached to me and everyone would tell me to take him to daycare (I was a stay at home mom) or he would have trouble when he went to school, I tried but he cried the whole time, so I stopped, but when he was 4 he went to pre school and he was ready for that. A doctor once said the first 5 yrs are important with bonding, so either way you decide don’t feel bad.

You should not care what other people think, if you and your husband feel like it would be good for her then do it. You are trying to do what’s best and that’s all that matters

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I don’t see a problem with it. Especially if it has that pre school thing lol hust try it. Plus if she cries while you drop her off remember its just separation anxiety. Its normal. But it will either get better or just take her out. No harm done.

I think it makes you look like a very caring mom that is giving her child a chance to interact with other children and work in a school type setting. You only owe your family the best an it seems like that is what you are doing.

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Stay with her…she needs you. She will eventually grow out of it. My daughter had same issue

And it’ll be easier when she starts school. Plus it’ll her develop that sense of independence as she grows. Like “oh, mommy isn’t here but my caregiver is so im safe” and then she will be able to have that same feeling of secure with a teacher.

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Girl, you do what you think is best. Your daughter needs time away from you too. To build her own autonomy. Dont let anyone tell you how to raise your child. If you feel it’s best, go for it.

At the end of the day, as long as they know you love them and they’re still breathing, you’re good.

Sometimes that’s all we can manage and that’s fine. We cant be perfect all the time.

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No not at. She needs to adjust. But she can start prek when she turns 3

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You should send her to one so she can get used to being in a school setting without you there. I don’t think it’s bad of you at all.

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You know your daughter best. Don’t worry about how it makes you look to others. If you think she’s ready for a preschool type setting outside of your daycare, then maybe that form of structure will help ease her anxiety…

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Self care as a mom is important. If you need some time then by all means send her to daycare for a couple days! It’s not like you’re locking her away. You’re putting her with other kids she can interact with and into a program that will help her learn! You are a great mom for simply worrying about this decision :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’m a daycare preschool teacher. My daughter did not attend the school I taught at. I did send her to a preschool setting like you’re talking about and for her that was the right move. She didnt need all day care she just needed a more structured way to get ready for kindergarten.

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Why and how would it make you a bad mother??? No, IMO, no this doesn’t make you a bad mom!

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No, this does not make you a bad mother. You are just trying to do what is best for your daughter. She is getting out and being around other children and learning how to act away from you so going to Kindergarten will be easier for her when the time approaches. Right now at 2 y/o she is expressing separation anxiety. This happened with my oldest son when he was 2.

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Also personal opinion I think EVERY child benefits from going to some form of preschool before starting school. And that is a bold statement and I stand behind it 100% they might do fine without but they do better with it.

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