As a person who knits, that project probably took quite a bit of her time. Weeks, even months (depending on how much free time she has.) Probably just didn’t want your daughter to outgrow it by the time the other kids gift.) I give my children their knitted gifts as soon as they are done. One shawl took over a year, my husband’s blanket took me 2 1/2 years. The next big hooded cloak only took 2 months of taking my kids to dental appointments for fillings. They understand the hours of my life that goes into each piece. (And for getting one kid something and not the other, grandparents usually even those things out.)
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Maybe praise her for the beautiful poncho and ask politely if she is able to make your son a jumper also.
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Maybe she just finished the daughters piece and then she will work on something for your son. I have 2 grandchildren and every now and then I see something that just suits one. So I buy it. And don’t get the other something. And vice versa. I’m not playing favorites, it may just be that I happened to see such an item. I would let it go unless it’s a constant problem. But 1 time is not a big deal especially at the age they are.
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A couple things…
-crocheting takes time. So it’s possible that she is making something for your son but isnt finished.
-maybe she thinks that at one he wouldn’t care or notice…or that hell outgrow too fast.
-maybe she thinks boys wouldn’t enjoy a handmade gift
-if your daughter’s birthday is coming up maybe that’s what it was for?
I’m not saying you’re wrong but it’s too early to tell if you’re right.
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If this is the first time something like this has happened, then no. But if it’s constant then yes. Hell sometimes I go to Walmart for certain things and always end up leaving with at least one new clothing item for one of my kids. I don’t always buy them all something new at the same time.
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I think you are overreacting a bit. She finished her project and sent it off.
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My mom’s on a fixed income so she spoils each grandbaby separately each month. This month is my son’s birthday so it’s his month. Next month is a different grand baby and so on. Just because one child gets one now and the other doesn’t doesn’t mean favoritism. I have 2 kids and sometimes one gets something and the other doesn’t. It happens.
Personally, just because I give something to one child, does not mean every child gets something. I try to keep things even by next time will be a gift for another child. Not the same child multiple times in a row. But with 4 kids here, they never all get something new at the same time. I would be broke.
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Probably not favoritism at this point but if it continues then I’d bring it up
It happened 1 time & you’re thinking favoritism? Chill out! She probably found a cute pattern or yarn that made her think of your daughter. She wanted to send it out before she outgrew it I have 3 kids. Sometimes 1 gets more for Christmas or their birthday. It’s not favoritism. It’s usually because I find more on clearance for 1 than the others or 1s “toys” (oldest is an adult so toys are laptops & other stuff like that) are more expensive.
Let it go this time. But if she does it again I would have to say something.
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Just because one kid gets something doesn’t mean the other has to, she probably finished it after a lot of hard work and sent it. How do you know she isn’t working on another project for your son? Ungrateful people that’s so dumb to say, you think every time one of your children gets something the other one should too? Sounds ungrateful to me
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Maybe she’s making your son’s now
Is this the first time this has happened? If so I don’t think it’s a big deal. Maybe she just finished making this and sent it and didn’t get a chance to make your son anything or will make him something else in the future. Just because one child gets something it doesn’t mean the other has to. Yes if it’s all the time I can see a problem but occasionally shouldn’t be an issue in my opinion. But by you saying you avoid unnecessary contact with her makes it sound like you two have issues. So not sure how well things would go over if you even did bring it up.
Is this a one off or does she do it all the time?
Knotting and crotcheting takes awhile.
It can take weeks or months to finish one piece.
She could be playing favorites.
But its just as likley she finished your daughters sweater first and hasnt finished anything for ur son yet.
Id definatley sit and ask her politley.
But its only one time.
Sometimes its nice for one child to get a gift without the other child needing something also.
I used to hate my birthday growing up because i never recieved presents because my parents said if i got a gift theyd have to buy my sister one tio
As much as we don’t like to think it there’s always a favourite
I have 4 daughters and I have that same person. That gives one thing to just one of my daughters I might sound rude but these r my kids I tell her NOPE IF YOU DONT HAVE FOR ALL MY KIDS THEN YOU DONT HAVE FOR ONE SORRY and she has done it multiple times so that is why I said what I said to her if it’s the first them it happens. Then maybe she just saw it and thought of your daughter but if it happens agAin I would deff bring it up
You could always just ask and find out. If it’s favoritism, let her know you won’t put up with it. If it’s not, just let her know you’re uncomfortable with it.
Maybe she couldn’t think of something he might want/ need. I’ll bet as he gets a little older he will get his share.
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I have 3 kids 9, 3, and 1, sometimes their grandparents give them all something and sometimes its just for 1 kid. They see something that kid would like or something like that. But i dont feel like there is favoritism. The baby doesn’t get as much as the older 2 just like my second child didnt get as much as the oldest when he was younger. I think its more the age thing.
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Would be mad. Lol. But my kids have always been left out of everything. The other grandkids get everything including time.
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Kids dont have to receive gifts at the same time
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Tell her how much you love it and ask her to plz knit a hat for your lil guy. I’m a Grammy of 2 and I would never give only one of them a gift, no matter what age they are!
I have three kids and there are times I get something for one kid and not the other two. It’s not often but it happens because I’ll see something specially for that child. I don’t consider it favoritism but some to make that child feel special for the moment which o feel is important for everybody
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Crochet and knit stuff takes a while to do unless you are super fast. Could be that she is not done with your son’s gift. And since this is the first time (right?) I would wait to ask about it. If she starts buying toys and such for one and not the other then say something
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It can be a healthy thing for children to understand that when one gets something they may not all get something. It may be a bit disappointing sometimes, but it also provides a good opportunity to teach about giving. I know that it is hard to see your kids disappointed though; sometimes harder for us to watch than for them to experience.
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Knit and crochet items take a while. And she could be charging you instead of giving them as gifts so I think you should be a tad more grateful. I have 3 kids. I’ve made my daughter a hat and scarf. When I was pregnant w my son I made him a blanket. I’m pregnant now due in 4 weeks and I haven’t made squat diddly! That doesn’t mean I’m favoring the others over this one lol.
I could see this being a issue if it was Christmas where she only got one kid a present but seeing as it sound like this was a random gift i dont see the problem. I mean kids should learn that they dont also have to get something when someone else does. Unless she is constantly only buying or making items for one and never the other then id just let it go dont make it a issue until it actually is clear there is one. Just my opinion tho.
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She probably didn’t mean anything by it. My grandma knits and she even said things for boys are hard to come by. I wouldn’t take it to heart unless it continues.
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Just tell her you like it & want one for your son too 
You already said it— your son is too young to care. Don’t make something outta nothing.
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I have the same issue with my family. None showed up to my 2 year olds birthday or gave her a gift, but they showed up to my 4 year olds birthday and gave her gifts. I told them next year, if they can’t treat my 2 year old the same as they do my 4 year old, they won’t be allowed to see either and they won’t be invited to birthdays. I don’t play favorites. Children see when one is favored.
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My in laws do that my husband is native so our kids are half mine and husband son looks very native while our daughter has light skin dirty blond hair so in there minds she’s not my husbands so I’m like ok believe whatever you want idc but they treat our son way better then they do her and it breaks my heart they have been better lately but that’s because my husband chewed them out
I didnt with my kids, nor do I for grandbabies… i shop for who I want, when I want. Some need at different times, genders make things different and so do ages. By the time she knitted for son, your daughter would have grown out of what she made.
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Definitely think your over reacting a bit. She could be knitting him something right now and even if she wasn’t just like you said she probably also thinks he’s to young to care. I mean it’s knitted clothes. It’s not like she’s buying actual clothes for one and not the other. Sounds like you don’t really like her to begin with so that’s most likely the reason you want to believe she’s picking favorites.
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Some may not like my answer but she sent what she wanted to send! Maybe more examples needed to be included in this story but they are two totally different kids. If it’s one child’s bday are you expecting BOTH kids to get a gift? The answer for me is NO! It is the responsibility of the patent to teach the kids that they don’t always get what the other one gets. That’s simple life lessons. Btw, that one yr old don’t know unless you tell him. Let it go.
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I have a hard time crocheting for boys. And not all my kids get something when another does. I don’t know why it happened like that, it was probably super innocent, so I think before you jump to conclusions maybe you should ask her?
I don’t. Understand how grandparents can play favorites.thats awful.
If it’s not a birthday, and there’s more than 1 child, you either give both kids something or you wait til you have something for the other child, then give them both something. And you don’t give one a big gift and the other chewing gum.
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My kids Nana will get them individual stuff sometimes. I dont think its to be mean to the other at all. Just works out that way sometimes. Gifts don’t make her a good grandma, spending time and love on them makes her a good grandma.
I think your reading in to it too much. It was very kind of her to even randomly send a gift. And then you expect her to send two? Why does one have to have the same as the other they are two different children? I think your teaching a bad lesson that one always has to have the same as the other ! My Kids are treated differently and will always be treated differently . They shouldn’t just expect
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This is only a problem if it happens multiple times/every time.
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I have 5 kids. My kids are great about taking turns and not worrying about what other people have because we go through this all the time. All 4 sets of grandparents do it. Sometimes they’ll send something just for one or a couple. Occasionally, they’ll send stuff for all of them. I don’t care and have never made a big deal out of it. It’s always been that way, even when I only had a couple.
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As a grandma you don’t have to give to both kids everytime, if she made a poncho and butterfly that seems like stuff for a little girl. If it keeps happening you could always say ( your little boys name) would love a stuffed animal made by you
I would wait until after the holidays and see if there are more instances like that. She may feel that knitting is easier for girls. She could have done it to reaffirm your daughter. Maybe after having your son, your MIL wanted to make sure your daughter still felt special. Plus she may have been knitting this for a very long time and just finished.
Another consideration: the daughter can wear this for a while. The baby outgrows clothes in weeks if not days, so it’s not as worth it to knit something for someone who can wear it less than a month. Maybe ask if she could knit something for your son when he is your daughter’s age. Does she show favoritism in other ways? If she’s better at thinking of girl gifts, offer suggestions for your boy, or just stock up on some boy gifts to have on hand to even things out.
When my daughter was born and people brought gifts, I asked close friends to remember my son too, or just be prepared with some big sibling gifts or experiences.
Does she normally give them both something? If its a one off don’t worry about it.
You are overreacting in my opinion 
Maybe the answer is in your own post. Your " son is too young to care ". 
Perhaps be grateful for the living grandmother/s your children have. My kids dont have them. They both died of cancer far too young. Id give anything for both of them to knit anything for any of my 3 kids.
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I can understand your concern but as someone who does textile crafts, something that looks simple can still take a great deal of time. She may simply not have gotten anything done for him yet but she happened to have the poncho done now. Next time there may be something for him and nothing for her. I wouldn’t say anything just now unless it became a regular occurrence.
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My mother in laws was the same way. She always favored my oldest. This happens every time she brought something over for her. She was a year and a half younger but I never liked that. Even at one point when they were older and started fighting she Said she wished she was never born. My younger daughter heard this but never said anything. I should of spoke up years earlier.
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It does sound like favoritism. If I buy for one grandchild, I buy for all 4, with the exception of birthdays. Believe me, kids do notice these things
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My kids understand that grandma and grandpa do for all the grandchildren. When they receive a gift always be grateful and never get upset when one of the other kids get something and you don’t. Extra gifts are special and meaningful.
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She worked very hard on the sweater. Say thank you and appreciate her kindness to your daughter. Maybe you can ask her if she can make a sweater for your son. Don’t sweat the small stuff the world is bad enough!! Hope your daughter enjoys her gma’s love!!
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I don’t see how this is favoritism? Your daughter is older so your MIL thought maybe she would need it more. My mother is always buying stuff for my older son like clothes and toys She doesn’t do the same for my young one because we have plenty of toys/clothes for him.
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Grandparents are not required to make everything fair all the time. It’s ok from them to do for one grandchild and not the others.
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It isn’t necessary to make it even stevens all the time, unless it becomes a pattern. If she makes an effort with both.its not favoritism. But, as “the favorite” from my family, it can cause damage in sibling relationships. Mine never thought of me as one of them. There are other circumstances at play, but this is one of the things that still get brought up constantly after 40+years.
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My MIL knits and she made 2 of my boys beanie hats they were 1 & 2 she sent them at the same time. She also has done sweaters both sent at the same time. I would question but perhaps if this is a one time event, see if it happens again, if it does I would say something. Also, if it were me I would mention it to my husband if you haven’t bc it is his mom that way you dont have trouble there. either. Maybe he could be the one to mention it if that’s the better way for y’all. Just giving ideas, hope all is well in the end.
It may not be favoritism, but it isn’t fair. I would call her and have your daughter thank her. You thank her as well and ask if she sent your son’s gift in a separate package.
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Her intention could’ve been to help you with your oldest knowing your youngest wouldn’t know the difference. You should talk to her to not allow tension on your heart but don’t go in automatically thinking she is favoring or else it won’t go too well. If you feel they both need something at the same time from now on then you need to say so because it may not be so obvious to her.
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I would say something…
now before it gets hard to say anything…we have six grandkids…3 grown…and they all have 2 kids apiece…regardless of whether it was Bd…the other sibling always gets something too…even if it’s 5 or 10 dollars, cash. What your MIL is doing is playing favorites…and I call BS. Just mention it to her in passing…
“I appreciate you bringing Betsy such a beautiful gift…but I would appreciate it if you could include a little something for Jr…too…” and if she doesn’t like it, oh well.
I would not allow my son to be made to feel ‘less than’ for whatever stupid reason she may have…JS.
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First of all, be grateful that your MIL is taking her time to do something for her granddaughter. I don’t agree that it is a must if you buy for one kid to buy for all.
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I spent 15 years doing for my middle son what my MIL didn’t do for him but did for the oldest. And her gifts got more expensive as the years went by!
Nope, projects take awhile. And since its fall I would be grateful for any thoughtful jester.
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Life isn’t always fair. Will your older child be denied things when they are a teenager because the other isn’t old enough?
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If it really weighs on you, then mention it… But also, knitting and crocheting take TIME. Have you given her time to make something for your son?
When he is 2 and half, I am sure he will get a knitted something from grandma. At one year old, he would probably yank it to pieces, chew on it, and tear it up lol.
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You are being petty! My MIL often made more stuff for my daughter because it was easier for her to make girlie stuff😏 The 1 year old is absolutely clueless so stop it! Be grateful!
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If this is not a many times before event I would not
say anything but if it happens over and over, then you might say something.
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You should ask her what her intentions were.
No. Next time her gift may only be for your son.
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I have 8 and I know to never give one and the other nothing .
Teach your kids that it’s ok to be left out. They should be happy for others. Expecting things to be fair all the time is not reality. That’s life.
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You shouldn’t send one something and not the other.
I have 4 and it’s all even!
My mother would never do for one and not the other. It’s favoritism as it’s best and probably her being a bit of a bitch. My MIL on the other hand…bitch. totally shows favoritism.
I have two granddaughters and on grandson. He’s the oldest. When it comes to clothes, I tend to buy more for the girls. Outside things more geared towards my grandson. Its not a gender thing as much as what they are interested in. The girls love shoes and dressing themselves and he doesn’t ever think of it. I think she will do more of a different kind of thing for the grandson. Just give it some time and see.
He’s only a year, she probably thinks the same thing u do…he to young to care. My mother tends to have a greater bond with my older child as they spent more time together as a toddler, my MIL treats all the grandkids different as she finds things in their interest and gifts them when she sees fit. So sometimes one grand kid gets a gift and the other don’t…
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Definitely think your over reacting a bit. She could be knitting him something right now and even if she wasn’t just like you said she probably also thinks he’s to young to care. I mean it’s knitted clothes. It’s not like she’s buying actual clothes for one and not the other. Sounds like you don’t really like her to begin with so that’s most likely the reason you want to believe she’s picking favorites.
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Definitely feel you’re overreacting just a bit and far reaching as to say she’s playing favoritism. Seems to me as if you are the one who feels a bit jealous that she only got something for your daughter that day 
Who are we to judge though when we only get one side to the story . To kids it doesn’t really matter. If it doesn’t happen often, I’d let it go. No sense in whining over spilled milk as my grandma would say. I doubt she’s playing favorites and I’m sure she loves them both equally .
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Seems really petty.
He’s only 1 and maybe she only wanted to knit girl stuff that day. It’s just knitted clothes.
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I wouldn’t read into it too much if it is just the one time. Or maybe she recognizes that a one year old won’t notice.
Totally agree , Becky
He’s too small to care. There is your answer. My MIL lost interest in mine when they hit about four. The same is now happening to my SILs. My FIL lost interest as soon as he knew they weren’t boys… It’s sounds like a lovely gift.
When someone is being kind and thoughtful maybe just say thank you.
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I don’t think it’s a favorite thing. My mom will buy something for all 5 kids so no one feels left out. My MIL has 30 grandkids. My daughter is the youngest girl she will see something super cute and get it for her. My son doesn’t get anything he is 11 and harder and more expensive to buy for lol he doesn’t feel left out, bc he could care less about clothes and toys.
Do not say anything and be thankful! Let her do as she pleases and love her! Quit judging her!!!
Hell ya its favoritism. I go thru the same crap with my dad’s gf. I finally walked in told her to shut up n listen. I said these are my kids first and foremost , and I’ll be damed if I’m gonna sit here and listen to my girls tell me how ur treating my oldest over my youngest. U spent 400$ on her and didn’t do shit for my youngest. I said if u your gonna buy for 1 u buy for both. And since then i5s about both not just 1. Stand your ground remind her that you have 2 kids. If she can’t do for both don’t do it at all.
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Maybe she is making him something and it isn’t finished. Sounds like you don’t like her anyway and just need justification. It was a gift.
No! no favoritism! Especially if this is only incident… Maybe she is knitting something for your son as we speak! Relax mama
She also may have taken his age as a factor . try letting her in.you get a better result when you show kindness rather than a critical spirit. .
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Unless this is a regular occurrence, I wouldn’t think it’s favoritism. Sometimes we manage to find/make something for one child but haven’t found the “just right” item for the other child yet. I don’t think it’s that serious.
I would have a heartfelt talk with her. Ask her if she favors one over the other or if this was just because baby is too young. Let her know favoritism will not be acceptable and both of your kids will need her unconditional love that only a grandma has to offer. Let her know she is greatly appreciated as grandma by both of your kids even if she prefers girls to boys, if that is the case. But find out first if it is favoritism and not anything else.
Just be happy she knitted anything at all. Wait another year or so and if her trend continues - just say something to her.
I’d let it go for now if this is a one and only incident.
If it happens again, then I’d say something.
A lot of people on here are right about hand made gifts taking time. My mother crochets so sometimes she has something done for one kid and not the other but she waits till she has something for each of them to hand it out.
Also if she only made something for one kid she will buy something for the other kid
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She is a little older so maybe she just thought she would enjoy it more. Also knitting takes time who knows next month she might show with something for the baby boy. I’d say don’t over react and see what comes in the next year. If you still see favoritism then nicely sit with her and have a chat.
I have 2 sons. My in-laws would periodically give things to my children at separate times. They would purchase things and depending on which child it interested most got the item. I never made a big deal out of it so my children didn’t pay attention to it. As my children grew older we did have a few issues. I adored my in-laws and always felt that it was my husbands place to talk with his parents. It was much more comfortable for them. The best thing for your children is to show them love and a united family.
Mother in Laws are a tricky situation.
I would Thank Her for the Little a girl’s
Cape.
Then with some time passing, would mention how adorable it would be if your son had a Matching one!!
Perhaps she’s waiting for him to be older before she starts making him things. If it bothers you that much, ask her
I might let this one time slide. If it happens again I would ask her about it. You definitely don’t want this to be her norm.