Im Destroyed and upset… I need help my partner (now ex) was acting very weird n moody towards me for few days n I didn’t know why n ignored it hoping he’d snap out of it but it got worse so just randomly I said can I borrow your phone to look something up as my phone had died and noticed he’d been sending dick pics to other girls he’d never met up with them or anything it was just dick pics I had it out with him and asked why would he do something like that and his response was I don’t know I just did my instinct was to end it there and then cuz if there’s not trust there’s no relationship. What I want to know is how long does it take to get over what he’s done and learn to trust others I’m in no rush to jump into a relationship as this happened last week I just wanna know when does it get easier. X
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does leaving a relationship get easier?
It gets easier when he admits to his wrong doesn’t do it again and earns your trust back
It will get easier, it will take time to learn to trust again trust me it will take a while but you’ll get there
Not everyone’s the same!
And you deserve so much better x
Im happy to see you walked away right away! Keep your ground. It will get easier and there are better men out there! When youre ready.
Good for you for knowing your worth! And in time it will get easier. Focus on yourself and allow yourself to heal
Honestly it’s touchy. I left my ex husband after finding out he cheated multiple times with multiple woman in March. I got with my now fiance that year in August. And it still took me awhile to trust him and not look through his phone and shit. This was 8 years ago.
It’s different for everyone some heal faster than others. Just don’t let the pain or loneliness cause you to go back because it is temporary and you will be happy again
Leave and learn to be happy alone!
There’s no answer for this because who knows how longs it’s gonna take to find out what it is about YOU that made you chose HIM.
It’s never about them and what they’ve done and the acts where people get it fucked up. It’s about us and why we chose them and then ignore the obvious because there are ALWAYS obvious red flags.
Gotta side track yourself for a while. Just remember, if you move on and don’t go back…there’s a waaaayyy better man out there for you.
If yall have been dating for quite some time, its best you don’t date at least 6 months to a year while you get to reinvent and learn about yourself. Its not fair to you or the other next person if they’re gona be a rebound. It gets better every day you aren’t with him. Look up…don’t look back
It takes time to move on. When you’ve been with someone for so long, you have good memories, bad memories and you have history. Routine. Comfort.
The best way is to occupy your mind. Surround yourself with family and friends, keep busy. When you find yourself thinking about good memories and missing him, remind yourself of WHY the relationship ended.
Just remember. Don’t take what he did out on the next. The hardest part of moving on is trying not to take it out on the next person.
By the 6th month you will feel better but if you truly love him the hurt never really goes away you just learn to live with it
Girl if you already left the relationship and you asked to borrow his phone you can’t be judging a man. It takes time but there’s no time limit. Stick by yourself for a while it gets easier but it never will if you don’t truly leave him alone. Best of luck.
In time it gets easier, it just takes time just let Yourself heal, there is no set amount of time it takes to get over Someone, you’ll just know in your heart when your ready for something new
Oh yeah, it sure does. After some time tho.
It will get easier just keep remembering how you would have been treated if you stayed! You made the right decision! You deserve the best!
You did the right thing. It takes time but better then a lifetime of wondering if he cheating .
Ppl like that don’t change they don’t want to. Ppl can always change but those tyoes… they don’t. To leave would be the most mature thing and protective thing you could do to your heart there are good men out there
Whatever you do, don’t go back to him. He obviously has no interest in having a relationship with you. My last relationship ended 2 years ago and I’m still working on things. Don’t rush into anything, take all the time you need. Don’t settle.
You will start to feel better when you fully understand you deserve better chin up chika
Girl it gets much easier, but it takes a little longer to be able to trust again… we got one thing at this thing called life, so DONT SETTLE! You deserve so much better.
It takes time but also, you should remove him completely from your life.
No posts about him from him anything of that nature shouldnt be in access to you anymore.
Block him on every single platform you have, delete all photos and completely delete him from your daily life.
It hurts but the constant reminders make it harder and make it take longer
There’s not an answer to this question that will honestly console you… everyone is different… now you probably have trust issues and until you fully process it, it will spill to your next relationship… stay single and just love you… the universe will provide
It’s been 3 years since my ex cheated and I still have issues I am in a new relationship and I love him with all my heart and I trust him I really do but I am very insecure I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop when is it going to come crashing down because I know I am not good enough
it never does , just leave an divorce him an move on there is always some one better elsewhere , i know how hard it is as my wife left an divorced me after 13 yrs because i had accident that left me paraplegic
Well first in for most it will get easier when you realize what he’s done has nothing to do with everybody else. ￼
You said “I want to know how long it does it take to GET OVER what HE has done to learn to TRUST OTHER people. “￼￼
Baby girl this is about you now… so F everyone else and F Him. He is NOT worth ur peace of mind. It 100% doesn’t matter if he met up with them or not. In all honesty ￼you should think this man because clearly he is not the man that God meant for you to be with. ￼ and now you don’t have to waste a 1 or 2 try to figure it out. ￼ and just to let you know it’s not you it’s his maturity level, he cannot even own up to it, “I don’t know I just did ￼￼”
￼ it’s definitely not you it’s him… and to be quite honest you can’t really hear here on him for being immature… but you can say goodbye. ￼￼￼
You need to dig down inside and make YOU happy. ￼
Start working on you and you’ll easily get over the pos that did that to you. Only positive thoughts.
There’s no number or time anyone can give you, but use this time to love yourself and do everything you’ve always wanted to do. Best way to heal is to keep yourself busy. Don’t sit alone doing nothing for extended periods of time.
The " I don’t know " line
I think it’s different for each relationship and person. No specific time range. You’re smart not jumping into a relationship right away. Good luck.
depends , i’ve be divorced now for 33 years and have not remarried i’m still abit afraid of males , i have asked my doctor whom is a male to switch me a female but he won’t and getting a new doctor where i live is ----like trying to find a needle in hay stack i don’t trust males any more but that is me - u on the other hand just take it easy and i am sure thinks well u know things will always get better they say with LOT OF TLC FROM YOUR NEW PARTNER if u have one!
IT gets easier when you realise that happiness doesn’t come from being in a relationships, but from within of you. Take a deep breath and and exhale slowly, few times I needed. Spoil yourself, do everything you didn’t have time/energy/money before. Read or watch favourite movies. Learn dance. Start that course you always wanted to do. Think about yourself and love yourself. You deserve better. Don’t waste your precious time on someone who could think only about himself.
What you really need to ask yourself, which is the most important question of all, is this: is Any Man worth keeping that would send nude pictures of himself to ANYONE?
It just does there is no time but one day you will just realise how happy you are
Go and pamper yourself, take a nice bubble bath , get your nails done, go out with friends, keep yourself busy. Know Your Worth! It will get easier everyday.
IMMEDIATELY, I get over a Dumb A** like that immediately.
I would let him go if he sending dick pictures to other women he trying to get there attention and get pictures back from them and maybe to meet up with them my ex husband cheated on me it’s something I still struggling with and were divorce but everyone different
It takes a much time as you need and everyone is different. I wouldn’t rush into anything new and enjoy single time.
He would be gone from my house and my life.
Typically 3 months is the worst part and then it gets better.? If it was a person that didn’t drive you to hate them, it will still hurt after years but in bearable way
I’m realizing how bitter my thoughts on this are. I lost my ability to trust, especially men, after different things happened. Idk if I’ll ever trust them again. I trusted the ones who broke me, and they betrayed me(this is of course very vague, long stories). I don’t have trust in me anymore.
Depends on the length of relationship and how much you were affected:(
Some took me 4 years of no contact…some only took 1 year.
Just depends on you hun❤
Yes u should walk.
He obviously feels no remorse.
Once u break the small rules, only a matter of time before you start breaking bigger ones.
Im sorry youre goin thru this:(
Ive been there unfortunately.
It never gets easier to detach from someone u love:(
But its doable and youll feel free once u make the jump
It gets easier when you meet a man who puts all of those reservations to bed by just being him. Member of the same group of ladies that found it hard to trust again and yet have met a man who I know will never step out or do anything like that. We had hiccups to start with but once we’d established what is acceptable and what’s not, we have never had a problem.
I left my ex 8 months ago and am still single, truthfully I’ve never been happier or a better mother to our children. Also everyone is different not everyone is out there flashing their cock to anyone who will look, some men have class. But as for me, this single stuff is where it’s at.
It could definitely take time depending on how long you guys were together. But don’t give up. Focus on yourself. Do things you love and when your ready to meet someone new, don’t settle and the right one will come along. I wish I had left my ex sooner when I first found out he was cheating but I stayed with him. We were together 11 years before I was strong enough to leave
Its different for everyone its a loss and your mind and body will respond but please do not get back with him- he doesnt know?? No he was acting single and got caught- pamper yourself cry if you need too and move on. You’ll still miss the good times
I’ve been cheated on
Been with a alcoholic
He pawned everything my kids had and I had he was abusive towards us and I let it go on for 16 years finally I left and found a man out of state and it was the best choice I’ve ever made but yes It’s still hard for me to trust anyone been with this guy 15 years now and I love him so much and I know he loves me he goes to work and comes home and we do everything together . He’s the best .!!!
Your so awesome for leaving him very courageous you respect yourself I love that! I wish I could be
Honestly, a man isn’t what makes you happy, you are responsible for your own happiness. You will be fine without him once you get over the hurt and anger. Been there. I’m doing fine! It’s all about you girl.
It doesn’t get much easier. You have to take time to heal. Some men don’t have any class at all. All they can think of is sex and their next conquest. It doesn’t feel very good to think you’re a notch on someone’s bedpost, but unfortunately that’s how it is. Move on. Keep busy. Get out with your girlfriends and do things. Never mind men for awhile. The majority of them are trouble. Go ahead and grieve for what you thought you had. But don’t let yourself grieve too long. He won’t.
Honestly I I’m not sure there is a time limit. For me it was gradual. I didn’t even notice when I started trusting again. My now husband just stood by me through a lot of my crazy (that’s what I call it cause it had nothing to do with him and everything to do with my ex and I was super jealous and suspicious). One day I just realized my walls were down with him. I didn’t feel the need to check his phone or question his motives any more. Just bit by bit the trust crept in.
You did the right thing and it does get easier. Especially when you find someone who will treat you correctly. You will completely forget your ex
He could have fallen into a scam, they make you think you are great and then try to get money out of you or try to blackmail you ,
I was in a 10 year one. It took almost a year to be completely over it. He too, was awful.
every day or evening, write everything you have been going thru, don’t read it, yet. And you will know when you are done writing, Put it away & sometime in the future take it out & read it & trust me, you will say OMG why & how did I stay with him this long, Then you will realize you are truly over him, There is never any need to rush into any relationship, But have fun in the mean time
It gets easier when you no longer entertain the idea of a reconciliation and making excuses as to why he did what he did., that was a very disrespectful act for himself and especially for you, there are no excuses.,move on., Your better than that., Learn to love yourself.,eventually you will meet someone that has your best interest at heart…best of wishes
No you’ll never forget it.
every end is different. You did the right thing. Just focus on the negative stuff that has happened to help you get past that. Lots of ppl break up and focus on what they miss rather than what they don’t miss and they get stuck feeling sad for longer. You’ll eventually get over it though. And will be glad you broke up.
Proud of you for making the right choice and knowing your boundaries. Throw yourself into yourself. It will get better
It will get easier. Especially when you find someone who treats you with respect and you realize how bad you were treated
Sometimes it doesn’t get “easier” you just learn to move on almost like a death in the family. You will probably always get a memory flash about him because of your unknown answers but that too will lessen as time goes on. Sometimes it takes to find someone that really takes away all the trashed feelings to realize it was his issue and not yours but take your time on that because you are vulnerable right now and all it takes is some understanding and kindness to throw you right back into chaos if you’re not careful. Take your time….one baby step at a time ￼
Ahh the typical “I don’t know; I don’t know what I was thinking” response
Anyway, it gets easier when you realize it was him. Not you, not the next person you date. It was him. He did that, but it doesn’t mean everyone will do that. Don’t make excuses for this behavior, allow yourself to put the blame where it belongs, on him. Once you have truly accepted that, you’ll be over it.
It takes as much time for you to heal. Everyone healing process is different
Get therapy if you need it.
At the end of day, forgiving yourself is a great start.
In my experience… Yes! Do better! There are men who would never think to do such a thing while in a relationship.
He has done irreparable damage to your confidence in your choices in men.
You may always wonder and doubt and be insecure.
Hopefully someday a man will come along that earns your loyalty, devotion, and trust.
Sorry , you will never forget it or the betrayal feeling .
It gets easier when you allow it to get easier. But yes, it is going to take time, glad that per your statement you are in no hurry. Give yourself the time to heal. You will know that you are healing when you can forgive him for what he did. This in no way, shape or form is condoning what he did, it is to free your soul. When you can learn to forgive, you will start to heal…Best of luck to you
They say it takes 2 years after every relationship, for you to be fully healed and emotionally stable and or ok to move on. Sometimes longer. Depends on how invested you were.
Don’t go back he will just play you as a fool.
It will eventually get easier. Don’t ever let a man disrespect you in anyway. After 2 marriages, a few relationships and 40 years I have been married 20 years to the most awesome man who never treated me any other way than wonderful. I would have lived my life single and alone before I would have been treated like crap again ! You’ll be fine.
Hun you left before it got worse i think you did what was best
I never forgive or forget. I forgive me for believing in him but never him. You learn lessons and you move on to much better things in life but it can take a long time. Everyone is different
He can go to jail for sending porn.
The only reason cheating doesn’t happen sometimes is because noone eles wants them either. There is only one purpose to the pic its for the female to decide yes or no it clearly was a no. Unfortunately you don’t get over it instead you question it everytime he acts diff or leaves you’ll find yourself going thru the phone my own self well I wasn’t invited to that party so why stay right.
If he can do that he doesn’t respect you
You’ll be ok just take it one day at time and whatever you do don’t take him back
I don’t know about you but if my man did this I’d never forgive him nor would I forget what he’s done
He deliberately went out of his to do this he had a choice and he chose to send those pics
You have a choice as well you walk and never look back
I am sorry this happened
It will get easier and hurt less every day as you come to terms with the situation. Sending positive energy to you
Time heals all wounds is a lie and all the advice in the world won’t make a difference…for a while. You’ll get to the point one day where you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired.
For some it may never get easier, for others it could be a couple months… everyone is different
Do what your gut telling you LEAVE
It does. It will take time. One day you’ll wake up and feel normal again just hang in there
No, it gets easier when you get as far away from anything to do with anybody so stupid who’s junk pic is soon to be on the internet, you dont want your name attached to his in any way
It gets easier, cut don’t ever put up with that again… let them have each other, they deserve one another. Go find happiness in yourself, noone else
Dress up. Go out. Be yourself. And when your ready. You will be ready. Huny I got over my toxic ex. Loooooong before I got woth my now partner. My ex was very toxic. Manipulative. He would tell me if I ever left him he’d kill himself. And that his death would be my fault. Me always being stupid. I couldn’t let him do that so I stayed. But then I met my now partner. And got with him. In my eyes and mind. I was ending my relationship with my eyes. But to him he felt chained up to me. So I had to find a way to break him off. Idk how or what. But little by little he started separating from me. And I am now living a happy and perfect relationship.
It gets easier each day, but it will linger with you for awhile. I left a similar situation over 4 years ago and still find myself questioning if my fiance would do the same things, I know he wouldn’t, but the thoughts stick with you. My advice; go to a therapist and they can help you work through it.
when u move on and forget about him block him on everything thats the only way the healing process can begin
It will get easier. Remember you are worth more than he treated you. A real man or woman will honor their partner 100% it will sting for a bit as all betrayals do but it does does get better
The four corners of a good foundation of a relationship is trust, accountability, responsibility and loyalty. This is only made stronger through good communication. Once a corner is taken - it can NEVER be the same.
You need to find “you”. What you like, what you want, and what you need in a partner for life. Be picky - you deserve it- that pain you are feeling right now - will get easier with adventure in your life. Guarantee it, young one:sunflower:
Give yourself time. It’s okay to cry about it, sometimes that can help you feel better. Went through something similar, it’s been 2 years and I’m just now feeling like I’m “getting over it”.
Im sorry this happened to you…it’s going to take a while to build trust with anyone. These type of people have low self esteem issues and they don’t realize they’re projecting it onto us by doing these types of things. I’d never go back
.let him do his thing and eventually you’ll find a man who’s not into being a sneaky pig
Move on and don’t ever look back, if he truly loved you he would have never thought about doing something so disrespectful. You deserve better sweetie!!
2 years and a nice new man.
He is not going to stop. It is going to go from pictures to actual meeting them and sex. So its not going to stop it is going to get worse
Probably not but I don’t know
Longer than a week that’s for sure
Yes it gets easier when you start focusing on you… loving you lifting you speaking life into you wining and dining you…. Forgive to release the burden off you weather he apologized or not…don’t dwell or focus on things you have no control ovet
It’s not a time table it’s grief and will go through stages. Keep busy. Meet all kinds of people. Develop new interests and habits. It will get better. You will heal
I’m so glad you have the strength to leave. Absolute QUEEN!!!
This happened to me at 5 months pregnant with my first baby and I stayed letting this continue to happen to me throughout a 13 year long relationship/marriage
Yep. Been divorced a year and met my soul mate the day I signed my divorce papers. We are now talking about marriage.
When you realize your worth and stop stressing over shitty dudes.