Leave him nobody married should be living in separate houses that’s weird to me and plus him having his own house now and use only dating on weekends he can easily cheat and u would never know!!! Plus there’s no such thing as taking space when your married or in a long term relationship your either together or your not there is no in between plus the kids seeing him living in his own house now and them going back and forth between the houses is confusing for kids and not healthy especially if your telling them use are still together but he needs his space!!! But what you need to do at this point is let him go and do him since he’s prob going to do that anyways and just focus on you and the kids because if not he’s just going to have his cake and eat it to and if YOUR ok with that than stay I guess and figure it out 
What does your gut tell you?
I actually went through something similar with my now husband and I do think it helped us in the long run. I moved 15 mins away and we visited each other regularly. After about 6 months he was basically living with me in my apartment and I moved back in the house once the lease was up. Sometimes people need space and time alone to reflect. Time to work on themselves without judgement as they get closer to who they want to be
I would think that it would be the ideal way to live …but only if there were no financial strain. The fact that there is, would cause alot of resentment for me.
Be honest space might help. Look at the bright side he still want be married and work things out. Yes it sucks for the kids and for bills. But if he a grown man like he says he is. He won’t let you go homeless. Maybe once you start therapy you two can grow back together as soulmates and best friends again
Nah I think he wants booty calls
You here it more often now a days . I think it’s weird but hey whatever works
I’m the person who would not mind living seperate, but with no bad terms. 
I have always liked my own space. I’m such a loner 
I have not been through this, as I am not married. My long time boyfriend and I separated back in November. We are still together and not seeing anyone else. I was not a fan at first, now, I LOVE IT. Our relationship was never better.
He needs to pay for his “extra” expenditures. Get a second job, what ever it takes for him!
Please take time for yourself. Start off with reading books. Don’t feel guilty if the dishes are not put away during your alone time. Decompress, find what makes you happy.
I know this is easier said than done. But here I am 7 months later and there are times, when I just want to be left alone!!
Hugs!!
Wants his cake and eat it too… hows he get off so lightly?.. 
I mean to each it’s own. However you know how you feel about the situation and only you. Personally he would have divorce papers you wanna live separately cool you’re also single now 
I’m not a therapist… But I do believe sometimes love grows stronger when they’re separation… so that would be my only reason to see separation. Actually makes sense to work on things better and stronger after so many years! You guys would never realize how you guys change in all them years until your start redating and all that… it’s going to be a new chemistry! I totally get the part of he should have stayed if he loved you… that’s normal to feel… but at the same time if he’s willing to work on it and if you love him and you guys have kids together … it’s never too late! And it actually can be more than what you thought of!! Just words from me! 
It sounds like there is someone else on his end…
Without family therapy your odds are slim. But even with it will you ever trust he won’t leave again? If the answer is no then divorce.
For my relationship, once we said those vows. It was forever. And living on 2 separate houses wouldn’t work for us. But we are very much you fix, don’t throw away something that is broken. More traditional in our views. We also have 3 kids. Been together 19 yrs. Married for 9. But to each their own. Hmmm… it depends how you really feel about it in your gut. But he seems to have already taken things into his own hands.
No. If you all didn’t have the money for 2 separate places what would happen then, a divorce ? Love doesn’t mind living in the same house. Tolerating u can live in separate places. My sugar daddy will NOT be living with me, when I get married my husband will be. See what I mean??
Naw but frfr, sounds like he needs a place to bring his gf that isn’t his house. He knows ur schedule etc. Watch him.
I’ve been married to my spouse for 9 years and together for 15. Throughout our relationship we have had times where the other just needs space. Needs their own place. We didn’t get divorced. We didn’t date other people. We still saw each other all the time and the kids bounced back and forth. I did insist on therapy not only for ourselves but for our children. So they had a better understanding of what was going on and why and had a safe place to say “this is freaking weird” or whatever they needed to. All in all I believe that as individuals you go through something that needs to be done alone. Doesn’t mean the love isn’t there. Doesn’t mean you will never live in the same house again. But it is okay to have that time you need to regroup and come back stronger then before. I would recommend you both go to therapy and see where that takes you and what is best for you in this unique situation you are in.
Nope, sign divorce papers. In my experience, it was used as an excuse to cheat.
Wouldn’t it be nice if we lived how we wanted. Do whatever we want. But we can’t, not when you have responsibilities. We all need time out, married or not. But he’s your husband and He’s a father also. I think pretty selfish on his behalf.
And what’s this teaching his kid’s?
Think you deserve to be treated better and you know it also, otherwise you wouldn’t be asking what other people think. X
I dont know what world you guys live in but marriage is for better or worst. You guys are technically separated no matter how you look at it. It seems he might have something more going on outside the marriage and maybe you’re to naive to see it. If he needed space why not go to a friend’s house or a hotel for a few days but to move out and take income out the family household seems extreme.
End it now. He’s probably got a side chick. Not to be trusted. Just get the paperwork in order.
He only wants you part time, move on
Some states require a trial separation before they will grant divorce.
When you want to “get some space” from the current spouse so that the girlfriend can come in but don’t want to end it yet just incase you need a place to live… that’s the situation, you are “the backup plan” right now
Nope.nope nope. He’s got someone else, most likely is the reason he moved out. He wants his cake and be able to eat it too!!! Nope!!!
Needs space outside of the house? Sleep in the guest room…
This would be a deal breaker for me. Any therapist would tell you that you cannot “work on things” without being physically and emotionally/mentally present. He has removed himself from being able to do those things completely which means while he might love you he doesn’t love you enough. Let the kids go to and from, their relationship with him is separate from yours and his. But get those papers ready because it IS coming. I’m sorry
Honestly from my opinion it sounds likes he’s trying to move on already but trying to let you down easy. He’s getting himself ready to be in his own. I’m sorry. I really am. It sucks, I’ve been there and believed him, but was told later that he told me those things so he wouldn’t hurt me and have me get all crazy at the moment. That I would just get used to being separated and eventually it would be easier to just let each other go. If he’s moved out and got his own place it’s not just space he wants, he already out so he’s not planning in coming back.
I would love to be able to live in a separate home from my spouse & it has nothing to do with cheating. But to each their own, it will either bring you closer together or further apart. I would definitely have suspicions though if he hasn’t given you a good reason to move out.
Maybe he likes men too. But too embarrass to tell you so he just wants to be separated
He wants his cake and eat it to
Different strokes for different folks I guess! But no that would definitely not work for me plus that’s an unnecessary extra expensive! It seems to me he wants to be able to do what he wants to do! If my husband tried this we would be getting a divorce!
I feel like getting his own place and signing a lease was a little much. He could have moved into another bedroom, the basement, the living room. You shouldn’t have to live like you’re a single parent and pay for everything by yourself just cause he decided he was going to move out. That’s not how a partnership works. And having the kids bounce from house to house? You don’t think that would confuse the kids? If he’s adamant on keeping his own place file for divorce.
I love my husband full heartedly and with every fiber of my being, but right now I am envying your husbands ability to have space. Maybe if you werent the only with the kids full time like living with the kids one week on and one off, it would help your mom fatigue as well and focus on the woman you are. Date nights on weekends!! Shoot sounds amazing
He already left you. He’s dangling you around. Listen to your gut.
I’m pretty sure he’s cheating 
Nope over file for divorce
He still wants to date on weekends? Do you see him during the week? I would not be okay with living separately. Either we work this out living together or we divorce.
Some people can and some people find it really helps their relationship but I feel the way he has done this is just awful. You can’t just decide that you don’t want your spouse and kids so off you go, and why do you have to have his children most of the time or is he not classing them as his unless they are at his house.
This song comes to mind and now I have to listen to it and sing along to it
A real man would stay a work on the marriage period me and my wife have been together 26 I have never lost sight of the woman I love ,the problem now a days is men need to not just listen to her but truly hear her what she saying . marriage is and will always be the hardest job you’ll ever have.it takes two to work on it .him moving out is not good for the kids period . it’s a very selfish thing he’s doing.real men make their woman happy in every aspect of love .tell her she’s beautiful tell her you love her not just once a day.but always.him moving out is the same thing as moving on no difference.his actions ar showing signs that he already has step outside the marriage .be strong lady because your kid’s are your number one concern the depend on you and need you to make their life’s stable.believe in yourself.
I understand everyone is different but when you’re married to someone you should be sticking it out together. I would be very hurt if my husband moved out for space. If he wants his “personal space” he should be single simple as that
He shouldn’t have done that.
It could very well work for you. Do what your heart wants. You would just be like when y’all first started dating. If you trust him to be faithful then I say give it a try. You might actually strengthen your marriage and if not then you can at least say YOU tried. You will have to completely trust him to be faithful and vice versa. Just because it didn’t work for some doesn’t mean it can’t work out for you.
I think you guys need some counseling and some date nights without the kids to work on the two of you and the spark. I know multiple families that live apart during the work week and together on the weekends because the commute for a decent job is to long to do each day and housing near the job is too expensive and they make it work. You get back what you put into a relationship… so if you want to keep your marriage work on it.
I end it. If he wanted that n u had space in your yard would’ve been cheaper to build a tiny house so he can crash there instead of a 5 min drive distance so you can’t see what he’s doing. And also he didn’t care about screwing u financially and the kids
If he wanted space he could take his ass to another room. Not have a whole new home. That’s some straight BS and you’re being nieve to believe him. Move on girl. It’s over.
You are absolutely right.if he loved you he would’ve stayed.are you sure he doesn’t want a side chick (space)? This would be my train of thought the minute he left he would’ve been my ex.i know u want to work things out so hoping you the best
My husband did this when I was 4 months pregnant with our second child. He had a girlfriend…he just didn’t wanna be “the bad guy” and just leave. Kinda like a have your cake and eat it too…have a family but a second life with a girlfriend to party with. Didn’t take long to figure out once I pulled his phone records for a few months
My parents were married for 40 years… until the day my mom died. I asked her what the secret was and she said that he was in the navy. She went on to explain that if he wasn’t gone half of the year there is no way they would have made it.
Most marriages end when at least one of you stops living for you. Let me give you an analogy. I like to think of our lives like a train. Early on we decide some of our train stops. (Do we go to college? Want kids? Buy a house? Travel? What career…). Then later in life we meet our spouse. And as long as we stay on our train, we will continue to thrive. Both in our relationship and personally. It’s when we jump off our train and get on our partners train, that problems begin. The key is to have your trains run side by side. And when they do take a different route, it’s ok. That’s their journey. They will eventually ride by you again. But when you abandon your train, and get on theirs, you are stuck on there’s. It’s important for us to navigate our train and remain independent.
So long story short… it’s normal for some people to feel overwhelmed by living with another person. Ride out the wave. You just keep doing you.
He basically wants his cake and to eat it too!! Sounds like a scandal to me, ask him, what’s her name!!
I feel like he’s trying to move on, he’s already moved out and sees you on the weekends. That’s weird. He’s not a husband anymore. He’s basically just “dating” you.
I would ask him how long he has been “thinking” about moving out/get space. Idk how housing is in your town but where I live it is hard has hell to find a decent place. If he won’t answer that question or he’s been thinking about it way longer than the argument has been going on, then there is more to it. I’ve done the needing space thing with my fiancé but we BOTH felt suffocated. He didn’t move out of our home just out of our bedroom. He slept in one ofcthe kids rooms for 2 months, as we set new boundaries and brought our love back by dating again. Next March will be 8 years we have been together. The needing space was probably year 3 or 4 but since then I haven’t felt the way I was then. I wish you the best.
I’m goin tho this to men suck
My then bf and I took a break from each otter in 2017. He thought living separately was what he wanted. Didn’t see each other for 2 weeks before (texted/called regularly) after 2 weeks he wanted to go out. After that we were splitting time between the two places with nights apart, after a year we were back to full time living together and our relationship was stronger then ever. My hubby and I are still together and couldn’t imagine doing anything like that again, we were miserable
Divorce him before he does it to you
So, he doesnt want to split up… he just doesnt want the burdens of living With His Family??.. so he wants all the joy of being a father and husband, but none of the responsibilities… so when the kids get difficult or the wife gets annoying he can just leave and go to his house alone…
Yea, NO FUKIN WAY!! so when things get hard you can just dip out to your solitude… I DONT THINK SO!!!
Sweetheart if you haven’t figured out he’s cheating, then you need to get a reality check. Of course he’s telling you he still loves you and wants to work things out, coz he hasn’t made up his mind if he wants you or the other woman. You mentioned financial burden, if he really loved you he wouldn’t be making it hard on you financially. Pull your head out of the sand and wake up to yourself, that little prick is doing nothing but leading you on.
So sorry! He should have stAyed unless abuse is involved. Poor kids and you! 
It’s a soft break. He’s too chicken shit to just walk away, so this is his trial run. Don’t be the backup plan.
I can’t say he’s cheating but what is obvious to me is that he wants less responsibility. It seems to me that if he wanted it to work he would be there with you now. You need to take care of legalities and file for a legal separation. Make sure you have your bases covered as far as the custody of the kids and the house if both your names are on the mortgage. You need to take this seriously and cover your bases. He’s sure got something up his sleeve.
I think thats fine as long as your new boyfriend is ok with it too 
I’m guessing he needed some space and wasn’t getting it even though he asked. Sometimes we tend to see that request as the person wanting to leave and as an involuntary response we cling to them even tighter. If the reason he wants space is to make room for someone else, then let him go. But if the reason is because he is being suffocated in the house then give him his space. Maybe transform a room into a man cave and let him have his down time there. That means, you stay out of that space unless you are expressly invited in. And don’t over stay your welcome. Let him know that you respect his peace and space.
You guys are all too much! Just because he thinks living separately may help their relationship, doesn’t mean he’s cheating. There are men out there who would never cheat no matter what, they’re not all scumbags
File for divorce, he left and that is abandonment!
My gut says he is cheating.
He has 3 children to support. On the run. Hit him up for child support. He thinks he’s got problems now. Hit him in the pocket. You and the kids shouldn’t have to suffer for his decision.
If he can’t work threw the marriage being at home with you I would leave him … marriage is thick and thin stay togather work it out moving out giving him spaces just a free ticket to cheat been there nothing good comes out of it … I would tell him you come home we work it out or we can end it … but it’s your life you do what makes you feel right no one else can do that for you good luck hun I wish you the best
I would end it he just pretty.much left u and is basically telling u what u want to hear so he can avoid court and custody issues to.me is what it sounds like whit wasting ur time end it and be done I’m sure u both would be happier and better off especially financially because u wont have him draining your finances for a separate home.for just himself if ny husband ever moved out we would be divorced and that’s it I wouldnt put up with it
Some men (boy)want everything and think it’s ok . A real man wouldn’t do that !!
Lol don’t hurt your self by waiting for him to come BACK!! HIS DONE! HE MOVED OUT…THAT SHOULD TELL U SUMTHING…(WHAT HE WANT TO B PART TIME DADDY /HUSBAND TO YOU & THE KIDS .PLEASE!! MOVE ON WITH YOUR SELF.) U CAN DO THIS…GET YOUR DIVORCE…WATCH WHEN HE SEE YOU DOING GOOD HIS GOING TO TRY TO COME BACK…!! NEXT CHAPTER…
SORRY…T/C U CAN DO THIS.
Sounds like there’s someone on the side & this gives him the freedom to live out the lie he told them. 
I’d be driving by the house at random hours and days including overnight.
I wld leave u will be better off get will hve to pay child support and alimony he wl learn fast games are no longer a deal…
Sounds like it’s not about you. He said he needs therapy which means he’s working on himself
I would be checking his place during the week nights…sinse he only want to “date” you on the weekends…camera on his house would do it…they make all kinds of thing you can stick in a tree or bush. Etc…
Divorce him, get my alimony and child support, THEN we can date or whatever. 
Your marriage is already over. And if you think he isn’t seeing other women you’re naivè.
Drain the savings if you have any sense. Because he’s working on it.
If you have a joint savings account…you need to get the cash. File for child support and spousal support. File for custody or joint custody with you having main physical custody. He needs to show his family respect. If he still wants to work on marriage while hes taking care of his family…let him start with his own counseling. In the mean time…You take care of yourself and your children. You may find you dont want him back. You deserve respect. Demand it thru the court.
I have this arrangement and I love it.
Every weekend me and the kids go to his house. We just don’t get along because our differences are huge but somehow can’t get rid of each other and it’s a really good setup for the kids too. I told him he can find another woman, me I’m fine with being single.
What’s really great is when he acts up… he’s bipolar…I can just go tf home.
Statistics have shown that men living alone don’t live as long as women on their own.
Foh … That’s not OK and eventually resentment will set in…I hope he brakes that lease fast and gets back to you . Start therapy and really get to the root of the issue . TOGETHER UNDER THE SAME ROOF. May your children be blessed and not get up in the adult downs at this point
Seems like he’s having an affair or he wants to leave but knows that ull keep the checking account good if he “works” on it. Hate to say it but have a backup and somw money put up just in case
My ex husband did this. Claimed to love me but wanted to separate. Turns out he was seeing someone else the whole time he was crying about wanting me back. I wouldn’t trust that for a second.
leave him alone and take care of my kids
I’m going to be the odd ball here and say give it some time and thought. Maybe marriage counseling, maybe even individual. Sometimes, us women in our own emotions are easily influenced by others and the way they would personally handle the situation if it were us in your situation! It doesn’t always mean your marriage is over nor that they have someone else. Men don’t think like we do and yes, it was selfish of him but sometimes being selfish is ok and maybe mentally he wants and needs to get back on track so he can be the best him for you! Just a thought love. Praying for your piece of mind
Sounds like he wants the perks of being single but still wants you on the side. I think he wants a breakup and be with others but being selfish and doesn’t want you to move on. He wants his cake and eat it to. You are not his backup keep just in case. Either shit or get off the pot.
File for divorce. Get child support (and spousal support, if you can)
Sounds like he’s cheating. But that’s petty/immature me speaking… either way. Sounds like trash
I wish my husband would do this.
Time to call it quits!
Divorce and alimony and child support
I feel like this was his “easy way” of leaving you without you fighting him. He said he still wants to date and see you but slowly over time that will fade and he will already have all of this things out of the house without a fight. This was his way of silently leaving your marriage.
What the ladies say i wouldn’t even trust it tbh
Been through just that! He was cheating. Watch for the signs. There’s no reason for a married couple to be in separate homes.
Sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too
Sometimes it’s good. Makes the heart grow fonder. How can you miss someone if you’re always together. Maybe it’s just a phase and he’ll move back in when he feels ready. If you push him to move back in he’s gonna be miserable because he stayed what he needed, which is space, and it got ignored. If you separate because you can’t handle living apart then you’ll probably regret it because it could’ve been avoided. I say just let it play out. What happens happens. I’m assuming you didn’t always live together. You probably did the dating stage before moving in together. It’s the same thing. Just give it time.
It sounds like he needs space to get with other women. He’s on dating apps. He is investing in himself only by paying rent over there. He is looking for an out. He is bored and tired of you. So serve his ass with divorce papers. Hit him hard. You wanna play games? Fine I’m keeping your kids and getting child support and alimony. Since you got enough money to fk other girls on dates (which I KNOW he is doing). And enough money to invest in a lease. Hit his ass with that divorce, now.
Why is everyone first reaction is to take the man’s money? (child support and alimony) What gives her the right to earn half his paycheck when she’s done nothing to deserve it? It puzzles me at Why so many women demand money from men. This post clearly states that he wants the kids to go back and forth which mean 50/50 custody so why would the man have to STILL provide child support as well give the wife alimony when he shouldn’t have to support her since they wouldn’t be married. Why can’t she get a job and pay her own way. Maybe she should pay him child support. Yes it’s his fault for wanting to live separately but that doesn’t give her the right to half his money. Marriages end, it happens. just because he isn’t feeling the love doesn’t mean he has to literally pay for that. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN TO ME WHY EVERYONE THINKS SHE SHOULD GET HIS MONEY??
If a married couple has to live separate to “work out their problems” then there’s more to it then that. That’s just my opinion. That’s not normal for ANY married couple no matter what! If u can’t live under the same roof and work through things together and for your family then why are you even still married at this point? He’s cheating. I’d bet money on it! He signed that lease quick fast and in a hurry so he’s BEEN planning to make this move but just needed to find his balls to be able to tell you something to make his move out more smooth.
Sounds like he wants d whole cake and eat it to, u are stock with the kids while he is free, how d hell can dat be love, miss lady he is playing u for a fool
Divorce and make him pay