I would sit down and ask her. I would say something like âIâve noticed you draw sad things and I just want to want to know why you feel like that.â Ask her if thatâs how she sees you, or if one of her friends tell her thatâs how her mom is and she just draws it. If she says thatâs how she sees you, I would apologize and make sure she knows that wasnât your intention.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does my child's teacher think I'm a monster? - Mamas Uncut
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does my child's teacher think I'm a monster? - Mamas Uncut
Yeah you need to address a dr.
My babe is like this to. She will dead ass look you in the face and still do the opposite.
She has dyslexia disorder.
I think kids this day and time donât realize how good they have it. They take it for granted. Everything comes easy for them. Donât beat yourself up.
As a parent we tried to teach our children right from wrong. We try to explain them when they make a mistake how to correct it. But through the eyes of a child they see it differently. They donât understand that itâs a learning process they just think it as a punishment. Parenting is very hard today. And teachers want to know what goes on in your own home daily. That is the whole point of the journal but I think it is a little to close to home sometimes.
Maybe something else is going with her. Where is dad? Could that be the issue?
Kids are kids she will be fine lol
Do not jump to conclusions with how a teacher thinks of you.
Parenting is just that. Some good days and some not so good.
Why not ask the teacher if she listens to her the first time? That way you know if itâs selective hearing. Then go from there.
You have to remember that kids perspective of situations are very different to ours. I wouldnât think on it too much though. Kids exaggerate all the time. The amount of times my kids have said stuff, that while the base story is true, added things that simply did not happen appear in their stories. Donât take it to heart.
Show how it feels to not care
Maybe sheâs a follower and going off other childrenâs response. Or maybe the questions isnât asked right for the desired response
Never blame it on yourself or your child for presuming a response thatâs never even happened to her
Family therapy. The extremes of âyellingâ at your child to smothering them with hugs is overwhelming
Maybe therapy would help? Family therapy
If your concerned Speak to the teacher ask if sheâs getting ok at school and let your daughter know that these drawings are a bit upsetting in a calm way by explaining to her why your upset, she maybe just doesnât understand how it is making you feel. I have three kids and sometimes without realising they can cut you straight to the bone lol but Iv found the best way to help them understand the things they do or say if they are hurtful is to ask them how it would make them feel then they realise that words or actions can be hurtful even if not meant to be. Try not to overthink it Iâm sure itâs not as bad as you think at all teachers see it all xx
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does my child's teacher think I'm a monster? - Mamas Uncut
Have her screened for depression. It is about how she feels about herself not you.
Seems to me she just has a very big fear of disappointing people
Self reflection of herself notvreally you.
My middle lo can struggle with bravery on telling me some stuff, and can sound like Iâm just awful and unsupportive when she explains why about
something. Itâs her anxiety kicking in we learned. I work hard to bond with all my kids and they know I am home. Iâm always there to love and comfort anything. But sometimes for some individuals that can be tricky with some mental stuff. Find confidence boosters, route we took and its helped a lot.
Try not asking her rhetorical questions or questions to invalidate her fears. Just ask if theres something she needs from you and reassure her that you love her and youre sorry if you did something to make her feel upset. After all that let her know you feel hurt too. But model first.
I wouldnât assume itâs a reflection on you. Maybe sheâs naturally a bit anxious or having a hard time with big feelings?
Instead of asking if she feels loved, I would encourage you to ask her what kinds of things make her feel happy/loved or ways you could help her feel even more loved. You loving her in your way doesnât mean her own love language may not differ a bit- thatâs nothing wrong on either end.
How about a friend or classmate? MAYBE this is not about her. If this is not the way that you treat her and she has a âgoodâ life. There could be someone that isnât and she is trying to express it for them. She could be feeling sad for them. It should not be ignored either way. Too many children go unnoticed with stuff like this. I would definitely act on what you see.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Does my child's teacher think I'm a monster? - Mamas Uncut
Children remember ten sec of shouting more than an hour of love. Since you love her all the time the shouting stands out. Donât pay much heed to it. Just stop shouting she will forget find an alternate way to draw her attention. May be singing her name
Check out the line of books âhow to talk so kids canâŚâ They have listen, learn and a bunch of different things. There are also books on love languages for kids to help figure out what makes her feel loved.
Itâs very possible your child is more sensitive than most and interprets things on a deeper level than most her age. My sister was like that. She heard my mom raise her voice (not yell) and told people my mother screamed at her. She purposely spoke in a whisper and tried to get others to do the same (she was not sound sensitive). My point, she exaggerated a lot. Whether it was for attention, because she felt things more than normal idk ⌠All seem to fit. What she needed was a therapist. It might be beneficial to have your kid see someone so they talk through with a third party what their perception is verses what your is. You arenât a failure as a mom. Getting her help now will benefit how she continues to see the world as she gets older.
No insult intended, but maybe itâs not about you at all. Maybe itâs how she sees herself, or how she feels she should be treated for spilling milk. All of us begin to form our reactions to any given situation at an early age. How one treats another, especially girls/women is everywhere. Itâs all over the media, TV, advertisements, cartoons, shopping products clothing, and other kids in her class. Donât make this about you, your doing great! Talk with her about her drawing and what she sees, feels and what she expects to happen to her when she makes a mistake. Ask her to do another drawing as to how she would like the reaction to differ if you spilled the milk. You can join her and do a drawing as well. Make it a lesson for you both. Good luck
- I think itâs perfectly normal for children to make more of something and to exaggerate it but if you do want for her to see speak about you kinder than do try talking to her instead of at her but rest your mind many parents have to self evaluate and do a reset. Try other techniques but the fact that you are noticing this and that you are willing to do better says a lot of you as a mother. So no you are not a bad mother and teachers see students draw and say crazy stuff all the time , if she is concerned she will bring it up , for now just address what you can
Lighten up!! Sheâs a kid and they all think they have the meanest mommy in the world at that age!!
Maybe she thinks the teacher is expecting a negative answer to assignment. Maybe other kids in class drew mother figure screaming/yelling.
Donât beat yourself up kids can be talkin to another child whose experiencing this or saw on tv
Sheâs 7 donât worry about it and donât hold back on being a parent
Just send it up to God. He will give you peace
Children sometime see thing differently than what really happens and they get it into their heads that u are a terrible mother. I donât know why but I have children that have done this and wonât explain what I did or didnât do. I have no idea why they wonât talk to me but I did all I could to love and take care of them. I still love them
All and would give my hear to keep them alive if I could. Hope things get better.
Family therapy or counselor would be an asset in this situation. They help clarify, express, and problem solve. Do it now donât let this continue.
Speak to school and get to the bottom of it also speak to ur gp
Hi⌠Firstly you are an amazing mom and yes we do tend to shout or make mistakes⌠Because we are all human beings. Remember when a person (child or grownup) is out of balance their emotions are much more. Think of a person as an oval shape if you are in balance your thinking and emotions are equal halves of the oval shape. If we are out of balance the emotional part is way high so the thinking part is very small. Therefore we tend to overreact and sometimes say or do thing out of emotions. What you need to do is active listen. The drawing she makes is not about you it is how she is feeling. Or something totally unrelated happens. You donât ask how was your day. Try other things. Never try and tell them how they should feel. If she shows you. A picture or writing of donât be mad. Take a deep breath because she is the one out of balance. You should try and stay in balance. I know that we are moms and we want to fix everything for them. Try saying. Wow honey mommy sees that your day was not a good one. You know you can always talk to me. Want to share. If she refuse. Try. It is not nice to have an emotional day. Try all different words not just bad, sad, mad. Yes she is only 7 but they have a big vocabulary and maybe you teach her that a person can feel more. As soon as she start to tell you what happend. Try and stay calm. Say how do you feel about that⌠And wow that was unkind or what ever some one did to her or what happend. Ask het what she thinks she can do about what happend. Say for instance a boy kicked her suitcase. Let her make a list or write one for her. Write down every one. When you are done. Go through the list if she says hit him. Ask her if she should have liked to be kicked or is that how you really feel. But let her say and even if it is out of character let her vent. Remember she is the one out of. Balance. Donât join her. You are her safe space. Most of the times when they had to feel that they should keep everything bottled up at school. And they see you their mom and their safe place. All those ugly emotions come out. Itâs not you. You are doing an fantastic job and raising a beautiful kind little girl. By trying this method u ou are encouraging her to speak without being judged and to remember how to breath through being out of balance. I show my kids the drawing of the oval shape and explain it to them. Then they know ok. This is ok to feel out of wack but only they can get them back in balance. Knowing itâs not you helps. If both of you are out of balance tell her we are going to take a breath. Walk away. You can only active listen if you are in balance. Best of luck and remember you are doing an excellent job. Being a mom is very hard work. Being an emotional dumping ground for our kids some times. But youâve got this.
She knows u love her ! She is only 7 maybe she thinks this is a way to express her self !! She loves you too!
Stop the shouting. Itâs counterproductiveâŚobviously.
Who cares cares what the teacher thinks of you lol her job is to teach. Yours is to parent. We arenât here to be friends. We are here to raise proper acting adults from childhood.
Ur not a monster⌠try not to be so hard on urself.
Does ur daughter watch a lot of YouTube or use social media? That might be where she is experiencing these types of situations and emotions. My kids tell their friends theyâll âget beatâ when they get in trouble n we stopped spanking them years ago, their teenagers.
I get my feelings hurt too, itâs hard not to when ur trying so hard. Have u asked her about her drawings? Maybe about the sad face face u can approach it like âoh no u had a bad day? Want to talk about it?â And see where it goes from there⌠remember ur doing ur best and thatâs all we can do 
If she doesnât respond to her name being called, and doesnât recognize emotional cues from you, does she also have sensory issues? Are there clothes she refuses to wear because their âpickyâ or just âdonât feel goodâ? I ask because those are symptoms of autism. It presents differently in girls. . . . . you may look into having her evaluated.
Just saying I have been the âmeanâ mom multiple times. With four daughters I have to be. But for every âmeanâ mom moment as they grow older and become productive adults, you understand that being the âmeanâ mom raised a child that has responsibility, empathy, and a basic understanding that the world is not just revolving around them but there are others to consider also. So I may not have been their best friend, but I was their mom. I loved them enough to help them understand and to grow outside of the âmeâ generation.
Personally I would care less of what the teacher thinks over what the child is feeling. Children communicate differently and are unable to articulate feelings into words. With this pattern of examples it seems to be some break down on communication between the parent and child. I agree with the therapy, it can help and with total honesty in sessions a parent can learn how an adult response can be processed by a child differently than the intent. Even as adults we all process differently if you think about like this, 2 adults have a conversation together. Both are engaged with each other but they both leave the conversation with two different feelings and interpretations of what was talked about. A therapist can help you understand how our actions get interpretated from a childâs point of view and how we can communicate differently. Please understand that sometimes you have to try different therapist until you find one that you and your child click with. Good luck and keep loving your baby!
On behalf of all teachers out there⌠we know and understand the struggles of parenting especially in the last few years. We know youâre doing youâre absolute best as a mama and we only ever want to try and help both the child and their parents. Keep strong and reach out if you need help 
Get her to write down 10 good things about you and 10 bad as gauge of where she is
A childâs perception of things can be totally different from an adultsâŚand how a CHILD perceives a situation is MORE important!!
Does she specify if the pics are of you? Does she have a female teacher and this is her way of showing how the teacher acts? Could it be another family member or friend being like this?
My first thought would be a bully somebody is talking down to her making her feel less of herself somebodyâs talking down to her about you something. I definitely be thinking those cuz thatâs coming from somebody else my best friendâs daughter in school right now is being bullied and because her mom didnât text her back fast enough the children were like oh she hates you she doesnât care about you she doesnât care what you feel just because her mom didnât respond to her within 5 minutes so definitely see if thereâs somebody at school thatâs being really mean to her
As a teacher of this age group I never make conclusion about parents based off of the student alone. This age group tends to be testing boundaries. And also I find this is when insecurities start to show in kids based off of peers and their own imagination. I would highly recommend asking your daughter if in class they talked about different cause and effect situations? Did someone in the class suggest spilled milk and yelling? What other examples were given?
As far as the journal saying please donât be mad â typical for the age. Kids get in trouble at school. Kids tell their friends things and they carry things.
I think you are over reacting and definitely not taking into consideration the other influences aroubd your daughter or the behaviors that come with this age group. 
My daughter is 14, but back around 7 or 8 we were sort of knuckle to knuckle with each other at times. One day I yelled at her pretty bad, (I donât yell at anyone in my household as a norm, but back then I noticed she and I were âoffâ) I went in and apologized to her while she cried face down in a pillow 
I broke her heart and mine that day. At that moment I told her I was going to do my best to NOT yell at her because I know I donât like to be treated that way. And she and I needed to be patient with each other. I realized how much she and I are alike in both good ways and maybe our attitudes 
I only approach her how I know I act and it has worked very well over the years with just a few hiccups. If you have any questions I would be happy to give you ideas⌠Iâm just a mama, trying to grow healthy, happy adults
I suggest a therapist for your childâŚby herself. If the yelling wasnât thought to be harsh then a heart to heart would not be needed after. My mom would have wrote something exactly like this and I know what was going on. We had a lot of heart to hearts
Inbox me i have a 12 yr old daughter and have been through it all so much lol
Wait till sheâs a teenager.
Her teacher has probably seen things exactly like this a thousand times. U wonât be the first, nor the last. It happened to me. Just let it go. U will drive urself insane with the âwhysâ and âhow comes?â Who knows why/how come ur daughter drew those things and said those things. Just keep being the best mom that u know how to be. Ur doing a good job. I wish u luck.
Stop trying to compete with your daughter Stop trying to control her in an aggressive way. Enjoy her being 7.
I wish id learned that all kids are not the same and do not respond according to our raising.Some kids you just canât raise your voice to âŚthey fall apart inside and blame themselves.
You have the makings of a narcissist if this is all true. Been there and saw the results. Good is never good enough. I donât know if a professional can help but if I had realized I would have tried one.
kids have a different perspective . it could be a situation she remembers that you dont , or a connection she made of you yelling & what she feels she did to cause it . our kids are an honest reflection of ourselves & sometimes it shows somethin we really dont want to see because weâre ashamed . your hurt feelings show that you have the capacity to want to be the best parent you can be & work towards that . this is a blessing in disguise , a perfect opportunity to you to grow as yourself & as a mother & for her to grow as herself . open honest communication is presenting itself , snatch it up !
As an educator for 30 plus years we get it. Her age has a lot to do with her reactions/comments.
Iâll be honest. Me and my mom had a super shitty relationship when i was little. I hated her, like honestly couldnât stand anything to do with her. It wasnât her fault at all. I only saw the bad and never saw the good until I was in my mid-teens. Now my mother and I are connected at the hip. I worry about that crazy woman everyday and make sure weâre in close contact just to check in when i can.
Maybe look at her drawings with her and kindly say " tell me about this one" see what she says. Sheâs 7, donât beat yourself up about it. But it very well could be a portrayal of someone else she drew.
Maybe she more thinks this about herself⌠what she feels she deserves.
I would speak to the teacher & see how sheâs getting on at school & explain how your feeling & how your child is at home. Donât blame yourself Iâm sure she knows you love her she might be shy about the subject & not know how to answer you. If speaking to the teacher doesnât help - get advice from a professional therapist good luck be strong / positive & rock it 
Have a talk with her teacher about these drawings. See whatâs going on at school.
As a preschool teacher, it sounds like that child may have a lot of anxiety about messing up. It could literally just be who she is and no reflection of you.
I also wouldnât ask question like âdo you not see the love I have for youâ . Itâs leading and can really hurt their self esteem it also puts her responsible for your feelings. I know it hurts and you did not try to do what I said by any means. Iâd start researching children with anxiety problems and see how you can help her cope naturally. You can do this mama! Kids say whacky things all the time at school, it probably hasnât really even crossed the teachers mind.
Get this baby some help. It is obvious she dwells on the hurtful moments to her. Counseling and possible medication. You got thus momma. This sounds like a definite mental health issue. Good on you momma for reaching out. You got this.
Maybe a classmate influenced her homework. I wouldnât stress. Your love for ur child will show.
Can you take her to someone to speak to? Children have NO idea what or how things could be, versus what they are.
So if theyâre loved and cared for, they donât know they could have been dumped, abused, neglected, etc. Unlike adults, they dont have that way of thinking or knowing, because like you said, itâs all they know.
If she can be taken to a therapist or psychologist to determine the underlying cause, this may help.
Some of the things, like a parent getting mad at a child for spilling milk may have just been an overall example she was using. That doesnât reflect you. The other things, however, may come from her own sensitivities and fears. If you cant get her to speak to you, a therapist or other form of doctor may be a good go to. Ask her if she needs someone to talk to.
May not even be you. May be a bully. They can tear someone apart and make them feel things that arenât real, (example: âYouâre unwanted and unloved!â)
You can also contact the teacher and ask them about how she is in class or school in general and explain how she seems to be ânot herselfâ lately. That youâre worried about her.
We do our best by our kids, unfortunately I have noticed our perspective and view of our parenting is very different than theirs. It seems we can do a million things lovingly and right, but what they hang on to are the times weâve âhad a bad dayâ ourselves. (Let our frustration get the best of us.) Our children donât see us a human beings, they see us as mom or dad, whom they expect to get it right all the time. Maybe let her know when you have that heart to heart that you are only human, you too make mistakes, and have bad days, let your emotions get the better of you. Let her know thereâs a difference between mad and being frustrated. Also let her know that itâs okay to have these emotions, but whatâs important is how we react to them. Then work with her from their. Try to find out how she sees things/situations.
She may have simply been giving an example to an assignment that had nothing to do with her experiences.
As a teacher, they probably didnât think anything of the picture she drew. I used to laugh and move on when I saw stuff like that. She doesnât think youâre a monster. Your daughter knows you love her!
Instead of yelling sometimes just talk with her , even she doesnât listen wait couple minutes then talk with her, try this for a week or two and if it doesnât help, let her talk with a therapist
You need to give yourself the same grace you would give others. Parenting is HAAARD! Take the bad with the good, and at times itâs going to seem like thereâs more bad days than good.
The first thing that popped into my head, does your baby stay with other people? Family, friends, or daycare? Itâs easy for a child to see someone elseâs response to a situation and believe that itâs normal. She might assume, if youâve ever yelled at her for some other accident (which as a parent Iâve done many times, especially if itâs something that could hurt them or someone else) that itâs how you as a parent would respond to other situations. Remember that at 7 she doesnât have a lot of logic or reasoning skills yet. Have you ever seen the posts about kids writing or drawing about their parents? Or the kid that told the DARE officer her parents grow weed (turned out it was yard weeds)? They donât comprehend the way older people do. So take it easy on yourself, it doesnât equate to you being anything close to a Monster.
I would have one of your heart to hearts with her. See if sheâs genuinely afraid of your reactions or responses when she makes mistakes. I went through this with mine because they saw me yelling about EVERYTHING, to me it wasnât that bad, but obviously it was for my kids. I started practicing more patience, had time outs to get control, etc. I also started applying the concept that if we arenât going to remember this in a month or year or 5 years does it reeeaaally matter? No? Then have a talk about why we shouldnât be doing it and then let it go! Worked pretty good. Remember youâre here to teach her, and yourself along the way. Good luck momma!!!
Okay so hear me out because I have a hard time with this sometimes with my 8 year old and I think I may have figured it out. Does she watchable lot for tv shows that portray parents as being silly all the time, in the shadows until someone needs some love, the kids do what they want and learn their own lessons and the parents are basically MIA or they are portrayed as dim witted and slow? Disney shows ALWAYS show parents as more of justâŚfurniture in kids lives. They are there to pat the kids on the back, show only empathy and never discipline, and the parents are NEVER portrayed as actual human beings. Same thing with a lot of these new little kid shows. My 8 year old son asked me why I canât be more like one of the moms on a show he watches all the time. Totally unrealistic show, the mom and dad donât work but the family lives in a big nice house and the mom is always smiling and never gets upsetâŚtv is setting unrealistic boundaries for parents and children are eating it upâŚ.just my thoughts but maybe check out what sheâs watching and really see how they make parents out to be.
This may sound kind of strange but bear with me.
Given what youâve saidâŚhave you considered the possibility of her having ADHD inattentive type?
FirstâŚI have ADHD that went undiagnosed until I was almost 30. Itâs actually caused anxiety disorder for meâŚbecause I hyperfocus I cannot switch off on things.
The other thing is that my son also has ADHD. Unmedicated⌠I can ask him to do things multiple times and itâs like he doesnât fully hear meâŚuntil I yell. Then he completely misses the fact that Iâve been asking him to do something repeatedly for an hour.
Firstly because he doesnât realize how much time has lapsed. Secondly because he wasnât really hearing me in that time.
Emotional disregulation is common with ADHD as wellâŚwhich comes hand in hand The tendency to catastrophize things.
If I tell my son he canât have a snack because dinner is almost doneâŚwell he misses the dinner partâŚonly hears noâŚand jumps straight to Iâm going to starve him 
I donât understand how his page works, a lot come on here âlooking for helpâ aka excuses for their behavior towards their children. This person sounds like a narcissistic mother which is very traumatizing for the child. Sheâs 7, she says please donât be mad at me ⌠and you say when have I ever been mad at you⌠do you not see the love I have for youâŚbut in the same paragraph you say you have yelled at her. Yelling at your kids is so damaging no matter the situation. Iâve been thru it myself , she needs a therapist. And you do possibly as well. It sounds like you lose your temper and yell and criticize her then after YOU feel better you try to explain to her that you only do it bc you care. NARCISSISTIC behavior, this comment is a self awareness reality check. We all love our kids but they are not punching bags for our problems⌠and they donât always understand why moms tired or grumpy and they shouldnât have too at such young ages. Trust me , get both of you into therapy. And take accountability.
UghâŚI tried reading the comments, but I canât⌠you said it in the beginning⌠sheâs 7⌠school is still fairly new and from what Iâve gotten from this is that she pushes so hard to make you proud and she gets sad when she doesnât do her best. My daughter is 10 and has gotten straight Aâs since kindergarten⌠she thinks itâs gotta be 100 all the time or Iâll be upset⌠Sheâll get frustrated or angry bc she thinks she wonât do as good. Thereâs nothing wrong with my child. Sheâs just full of determination to make me proud. Iâve only told her, I donât like Cs⌠school still sucks and she still hates it⌠lol⌠youâre doing fine mama.
My kid drew me like this when she was 7.
Hurt my feelings. I grounded her for a week. Kidding about the grounding btw.
You loving her the way you do doesnât mean she isnât lacking something important.
You can do 100 great things for someone but if 1 major thing isnât met it wonât change the fact its not met. Counseling would be a good first step to see what and where these big feelings are coming from.
Seems like sheâs anxious and it may not be something you have, or havenât done thats triggering her.
My younger sister drew my brother and I tying her up with rope to a tree in our front yard in kindergarten last year 
(never happened - she is over 20 years younger than us) it never happened - sometimes kids just have wild imaginations or internalize small things and make them bigger than what they are 
Your child has an anxiety disorder and you need to discuss this with her pediatrician. Seriously, itâs a thing.
You have to understand that because she had never seen life without that love, she doesnât appreciate what she has (Iâm not saying to show her that by any means Iâm sure some would take it that way). She obviously doesnât know how you feel. But sheâs a child. Children do these things for attention. Maybe her friends told her their parents do these things. I wouldnât worry what the teacher thinks of you sheâll have another one next year. My nephew broke him arm by jumping on the couch and falling off. He was with my sister at Walmart (pre covid) and she got on to him for somethingâŚhis response? Mommy please donât break my arm again. My sister was dumb founded. He was 4. She was so embarrassed. Sheâd never hurt her kids like that. But he said it anyway. Why? Who knows. Kids do things sometimes that we donât understand.
I would say get her some help maybe she is having a hard time getting her feelings and frustrations out Iâm sure she knows you love her but maybe in her mind other things are going on and keeping her from seeing more then what she does see do to the things she is stressing about
Just because you are loving her with your whole heart doesnât mean you are loving her the way she feels loved. Maybe ask her how she knows when someone loves her. Then express love to her the way she feels loved
Everyone gives and receives love differently. Some people show love by doing, while the other person receives love with quality time. If these languages arenât matching, someone is left feeling unloved and the other unappreciated. This is where counseling, and therapy helps us bridge the gaps and helps us see other perspectives I highly suggest family therapy for you both.
Set up an interview with the teacher and ask your daughter why she is doing this
If your children hate you, you have got parenting right. Just like there was times you hated your parents your children will hate you
Why do you even need to yell at all? I canât remember a single time my mom (had 4 kids) ever yelling at me or my siblings. Maybe take some anger management classes cause children typically tell the truth and your daughter thinks youâre an angry person.
Itâs possible you are raising a little empath. You mentioned she is extremely kind. And it sounds like she is picking up on whatâs below the surface - you just âhanging onâ. So even if your tone isnât screaming, but you are feeling overwhelmed and frustrated- thatâs what she would be picking up on. You canât compensate with empaths. We feel it. And itâs exhausting. Either way, Iâd suggest getting your daughter a good therapist. If sheâs just a non-empath kid who is struggling, it will help. If she is an empath who is on emotional overload with subtext, it will help.
Something is missing here, obviously somewhere she got punished for spilling Something. I also am getting a lot of over compensating on your part which makes me wonder what you are trying to drown with love. Kids are sponges and yelling is such an easy answer but is detrimental to their health. If you are that worried find a therapist for your daughter. And find one for yourself to because the codependency you are showing in this text is concerning. Your child is allowed to feel what she wants without you asking " where did I go wrong".
Your post paints the portrait of a single mother, who is attempting to navigate through the challenges, associated with parenting your first and only child. Accordingly, your childhood was lacking in the expectations you deem to be important, and have thus made a conscience effort to incorporate those elements into the parenting of your 7 year old daughter. However, your post is a bit ambiguous as to whether the focus of concern, encompasses the relationship between you and your daughter, or is it the effect your daughterâs expressions might translate to others, regarding the relationship between the two of you. Understand that parenting is not an exact science; there is no such thing as a one size fits all parenting technique. Children are as different from other children even in the same family, as fingerprints are from other fingerprints; even among identical twins, there are variants in their personalities. What was important to you in your adolescence, may not coincide with what is important to your daughter; therefore, lavishing on your daughter the elements you determined were lacking in your childhood, could very well be in conflict with what is important to her. The examples you shared to validate your concerns, may have been taken out of context. You assumed that the examples expressed, portrayed interactions between you and your daughter; another possibility is that she was expressing her observation of an experience, that had nothing to do with you. Children learn far more from what they observe, than from what they hear; what children observe in person, on TV, in books, and on social media stimulates their perception, which formulates their beliefs. Possibly a better approach in interacting with your daughter regarding the drawings, would have been to commend her on how well she understood the assignment, and dialogued with her on how she arrived at the subject matter in her drawings. Such an approach would have encouraged your daughter on her creative abilities, and simultaneously clarified where the artistic expression was derived. Love is expressed in many ways; discipline is one such way. The bible teaches us that God disciplines those he loves. Yelling is not a discipline, it Is an outward expression of frustration and anger; none of us are exempt from expressing our frustrations and anger, but when substituted as a form of discipline, it may stimulate the wrong message.
My daughterâs first grade teacher told us at orientation: if you believe half the stuff your child tells you, (about what goes on at school) Iâll believe half the stuff they tell me (about what goes on at home). They can tell whoâs parents are decent. Kids embellish all the time.
Kids do shit like this, sometimes to get a reaction from you or to get attention at school. If you have had a talk with her, just watch her reactions going forward to see if there is something going onâŚ
Most motherâs die from lack of appreciation.
Iâm a Grandmother of 4 and I will tell you the most important thing Iâve learned in parenting and Grandparenting is dont take it personally. Youâre reading to much into it and giving the child more power than she needs!
It sounds to me like her pictures are emulating other pictures she has seen. She is just drawing them to please or impress her teacher. She is not portraying real life!
Kids need discipline and structure, just as much as love. The picture may not have anything to to with you. It may have been a show or something she seen. You feeling guilty is part of being a mom. Be proud and do your best. Thatâs all you can do. Good luck!
Ask her what am i doing or saying you that makes you feel loved and then do more of that. We all percieve and recieve love differently. One of my children said they feel like i love them when Im playing with her. So i spend extra time doing stuff with her. One of my kids love when I buy her presents. So i leave love notes in her lunch box and surprise her with little (cheap!) gifts. One of my kids loves hugs and cuddles. So i make sure touch on the back when i walk past, give extra hugs, dont spank with my hand, nose boops, stuff like that. I went through the same thing as you. My love language is service, so i viewed all the stuff i was DOING for them as pouring out my love. But they didnt see it that way.
If the teacher thought you were a monster youâd know it, believe me people would be visiting you.
And teachers know children embellish things about home just like parents know -I hope!- that children embellish things about school.