I am not with my daughter’s father. He lives out of state, also. We have a cordial and supportive co-parenting relationship with each other in regards to her. My daughter started her first period yesterday (Mother Nature is and inconsiderate So and So, lol). I think her father has a right to know. I offered to tell him about her, but she told me not to tell him. I told her that she should tell him. I don’t plan to tell him unless she blows telling him herself completely off (and knowing my daughter, she might). My question is, how long do you think I should wait before telling him myself, or at least bringing it up to her to tell him again? I don’t want her to be uncomfortable or unhappy, but, as I said, he has a right to know.
Yes. It’s his daughter
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You should respect your daughters privacy. She asked you not to tell him so dont.
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So when she gets it while she’s with him, he knows it’s not the first time and she knows how to handle it so he doesn’t freak out. Communicate.
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Just let him know that she’s uncomfortable telling him and not to make a big deal about it. That’s all.
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Um. That’s her decision. Wtf. You need to chill. Why does he need to know anyways?
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Uh yes it’s his daughter too… he needs to know he needs to stock up on things if she is there…
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No? Respect your daughter’s privacy. Send her with pads when she goes to stay with him, she should know how to take care of it herself. If she’s not comfortable, don’t bring it up.
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I don’t have daughters but I wouldn’t tell him. It’s her body and her decision. If she goes to see him, you could just let her pack the necessities.
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I’d tell her you won’t say anything till she needs to go to his house then she needs to tell him so he has everything for her.
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Um he does not have a right to know! Her body her choice! Wtf is wrong with people!!
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He doesn’t “Need” to know. What difference does it make??? If and when she is ready, she can tell him. This is something very personal and private that is happening to HER body.
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Uh yeah it’s a natural thing. If he was an only parent there wouldnt be a choice.
Why does he have a right to know??? Wth. It’s HER body, HER right, HER decision. Not yours!! What difference does it make that she has her period now?
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Idk all 3 of my daughters did not care if their dad knew they figured they would one day have to ask him to buy pads. But if she doesn’t want him to know then wait till she’s ready
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He doesn’t have a right to know and if she doesn’t want you to tell him, don’t. I didn’t want to tell my dad and I doubt he cared to know. This is weird.
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Let your daughter tell him if/ when she chooses to do so. She should have her personal care items ready for when she visits her dad
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I lived with my dad and mom and don’t think he knew lol 
. Some things are personal
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I never told my dad when I started my period. That would be a strange conversation. I feel it is up to your daughter. Shes a little woman now her body her choice.
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I’d send him a picture of her products she uses and say stock up but I’m not allowed to tell you why 
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Why would you need to tell a man, father or not, about your daughters womanly bodily functions? I wouldn’t. But I would also educate my daughter and make sure she has all the essentials when visiting. Besides, she doesn’t want you to telling her personal information. I wouldn’t build a trust barrier between you daughter and yourself, if I was you.
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Just send her on her visits with supplies and leave it with her.
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Ok omg!! really why does he need to knw that??? Get a life!
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Honestly wild he “needs” to know. I never wanted to tell my dad when I was younger, I was only 11 but my mother didn’t tell him she just made sure I always had what I needed before I went over
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All this misogynist hate in here.
Making it seem like something women should hide perpetuates the idea that its disgusting and wrong.
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Why does he have to know?
Because the two of you have a good co parent relationship, I would tell him. I’d be subtle. Like, “Mother Nature has hit our house for the first time.” I get that she wants her privacy… but I would be pissed if the table was turned and I was left in the dark.
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I think the only way is you should tell him is if she goes to his house frequently. He should be able to get her what she needs if she is there.
Wow. This blows my mind. I am married to my children’s father, my oldest daughter didn’t tell her dad for over a year. That is nosey not parenting, imo.
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No. Respect her wishes for now. Send her to his house with the products she needs, so he doesn’t even have to purchase them.
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Just tell him that she’s started and he needs to keep products on hand for her in case of emergencies…then tell him to pretend he doesn’t know or to act surprised whe she tells him…he should know from a medical standpoint but doesn’t need to make it obvious that he knows
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Why does he need to know this unless she wants him to know? It is kind of personal… When she goes there send her with products
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Why does he need to know? She can tell him when she is ready.
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Really? I don’t feel the need to announce it to anyone
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Open communication. He should know what is happening with his daughter. I would give her the chance to tell him, but if she doesn’t when it comes around again and he is going to have her he needs to know. That way he has everything and can make her feel comfortable at his house.
Why is this a question, of course he should know. Especially if she visits during that time of the month. He needs to be able to have extra items stocked up just in case.
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He doesn’t have to know if she doesn’t want to tell him, it is not anyone’s business but hers, respect her.
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Honestly I remember feeling so awkward and absolutely hated when my mother told my father about my first period. I will never do that to my daughter. I would let her tell him on her own time. Make sure she keeps some pads in her suit case or backpack for emergencies. Same for when shes in school. She should be able tell him when she feels like it.
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She is old enough to make her own decisions about who knows her personal business. If she wants him to know then she will tell him.
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There’s really no reason for a dad to know, most of them are freaked out by it. As long as your daughter has what she needs when she gets it and knows what to do then she’ll be fine…
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Were a sex positive family including periods. Mentioning never shame but uplift and what to keep on hand even if he never says a word to her.
Period shaming can come from boys, men and I’d rather say so he knows never EVER
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As a child, it’s embarrassing. I wouldn’t say anything.
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If he lives out of state I don’t think it’s relevant to him until she visits him and needs products. Otherwise, I don’t think men care and I’m sure your daughter would be grateful to keep it between you and her for now, as a man he should understand that. My dad raised me and he freaked out a little when I started mine, and just made me more embarrassed.
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It’s not your place to tell anyone about her private business. She’ll tell him when and if she wants to. That’s her business, not yours.
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I would say he really only needs to know if she has it at his place. I think you could mention it but tell him not to say anything to her about it…but maybe that way he can just put a few essential products in his cabinet (pads, Pamprin, etc.)
I think its important to let him know. But he shouldn’t bring it up to her if it makes her feel that uncomfortable.
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Do not tell him. No, they don’t have to know. Let her do it on her own time
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I personally will tell my daughter’s father if/when she starts. Same as I hope he’d tell me. That way the three of us can sit down, and talk about what it means, the different types of products there are. Her father needs to know so at the beginning he can also help get her products for his place. 💁
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I don’t see where it’s a parents place to tell others.
She will tell him when she’s ready. Just make sure she has the supplies.
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It’s awkward for a teenager but it’ll be worse if she’s there and starts then has to ask him to go get supplies. Best to let him know tell him not to mention it to her and give him supplies for her since men don’t have a clue what to buy lol
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I hate this. I’m sorry but this is suggesting to your daughter that others have rights to her body!!!
Even if that means the rights to know the most private and personal interworkings of it!
She doesn’t owe ANYONE access to her body or information about it!
Empower her to bring her own supplies when visiting her dad. This isn’t difficult!
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Dang I lived with both parents and I didn’t want to tell my dad!!!
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I think he should know just so he can be aware of changes and items she may need .
From a medical perspective by the HIPPA law, if your child is 12 or older, you don’t have a “right” to know anything at all unless they sign a form giving the providers consent to share that information with you & then they can still choose which info you are privileged to. I’m sure it’s embarrassing for her right now…give her a minute the express why you think it’s important that he knows. Otherwise, that’s her decision to make. If you feel that she will end up in a situation where she may need feminine products while visiting with him, teach her the importance of always packing what she needs.
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Why does he need to know? Its a period lol. Every girl/woman will get one. He knows that. Whats the point of beinging attention to it since he already knows it happens to all of us? Telling him serves no purpose, thats like telling him what she ate for lunch tbh lol. For kids, periods are embarrassing. Its HER period. Respect her wishes about HER body. Its HER choice who she tells. Not yours.
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Yes he should know he’s her father! It’s not just for women to know about!
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I told my husband when our daughter started her period.this is sth that fathers shouldn’t know from daughters .they should know yes but not directly from them it’s our place as mothers to tell dads about such thing.
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He has no need to know if she’s uncomfortable with him knowing. Just make sure when she goes to visit that she has the things that she needs. She has a right to not be made uncomfortable just because he’s her father.
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It’s not his right if it infringes on her right. She may still be a child but this is not a medical emergency and she has the right to decide when to tell him or anyone. If he has to take her to a dr app or some kind of medical thing that requires that knowledge she may run into a situation where she is forced to share that with him and you should inform her of reasons you believe he may need this information but she has to deal with the consequences of keeping it from him or just plain neglecting to share the information for whatever her reason are. They may be valid.
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Let her tell him it’s personal and maybe she’s not ready to tell him …it’s a mom and daughter thing …
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Most girls arent open to talking about periods with boys/men. Its HER period. Why tell people about her personal/private business?
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I feel he should incase she’s there and has issues but she’s also old enough to tell him. If y’all are on good terms I’d tell
Him and tell him to act shocked when she tells her
Unless she’s going to visit him for the summer and he needs to know to be prepared I’d leave it alone and let her tell him on her own time. My daughter was embarrassed to tell me she started couldn’t imagine how it feels being a young lady having to tell your father that.
Let your daughter decide. It’s her body and she may be embarrassed to let a man know. It’s not that big of a deal.
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He doesn’t? She can tell whoever she wants? He can find out when she asks him for pads or whatever she uses. Don’t be a bitch you think a little girl wants to tell daddy her vagina is bleeding once a month now?
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It’s a new transition for her. Let her get comfortable first and when she feels its time, tell him.
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But what if that’s something he doesnt want to know about?
Why is it important that he knows? It is a personal thing that happens to girls. Let her tell him if she wants him to know. Make sure she has what she needs when she goes to viait.
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I think it’s the dad’s right to know anything and everything going on with his child good or bad and specially if he is in her life. Like if it was a boy child and he was going through something but the father didn’t tell you cuz it’s awkward or whatever like you would be pissed. Plus you can also tell him he doesn’t need to discuss it it’s just so he knows his little girl has become a woman what a special and lovely thing we go through so much pain so we can give life ND that should be celebrated and not shamed 
good luck to you 
I didn’t want my dad to know 
just tell him in passing when it’s his weekend to make sure he’s got some pads incase she starts unexpectedly 
Why do you feel his right to know is more important than her right to privacy?
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It’s not that big of a deal he’ll find out when he finds out she has about 30 years she will be having it for lol especially if she doesn’t want to tell him why would u break that trust n if he isn’t living with u guys n u r distant already! Unless she goes to visit him then maybe tell him
Does she ever spend time with him? Is she does then yes he has a right to know so at least he is prepared if she gets her period while visiting him. Even if its just stuff in a drawer where she knows it is.so.she doesnt feel weird asking
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I would be mortified !.
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I think your over thinking it. There is no need to make immediate contact with the father over this. If she doesn’t want him to know, respect her wishes. He will eventually figure it out. It’s her business…
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my dad didn’t know when i started mine🤷🏼♀️
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If she was at her dads and started there for the first time would you be upset if he didn’t tell you because she didn’t want you to know?
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If she goes to stay with him he will need to know these things. Like does he need to be prepared if she starts at his house. Seriously. Duh just tell him, my dad knew and yes it’s embarrassing but she will get over it as we all do.
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Let her tell him especially if she doesn’t see him often. Why cause unneeded embarrassment to your daughter
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If she doesn’t want to tell him, then she shouldn’t have to… he really doesn’t need to know and it’s her business who she tells.
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I’d tell him but tell him to let her tell him herself before bringing it up. He might not want to embarrass her but be able to have the right period products for when she visits just happen to be in her bathroom or bedroom where she can find them. It’s something he needs to know as far as taking care of her needs goes.
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Wow chill. It’s her menstruation. She her how to use a diva cup so she doesnt ever have to have this conversation with her dad. Why should he know or need to? Does it actually benefit her? Probably not. It’s almost disgusting you want to spread her bodily function information around.
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Does she see him/go there and stay there too? If so, possibly a quick text for a heads up incase he thinks she’s being weird otherwise he doesn’t need to know.
Literally, it’s her body if she isn’t comfortable telling her dad then don’t. just let her get more comfortable about it and she will tell him.
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He only needs to know if shes with him and has run out of tampons or pads. That’s it. And I’m pretty sure the, “Dad can you go to the store so I can get some girl stuff,” would be a dead give away. Eventually she will tell him lol.
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If she wants him to know then she will tell him. Not sure why he has to know anyways? She’s probably embarrassed as it is (let’s be honest, we all were at first)
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It’s her choice when and if she wants to tell him. Isn’t that what we teach our kids? That it’s their body, their choice, unless a decision can physically /mentally hurt them? If she ever needs him to but her feminine products, she’ll let him know. Respect her privacy, it’s not hurting anyone.
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If she doesn’t want to tell him then He’ll find out when she needs feminine hygiene products at his house or he will notice them in the garbage when she’s with him. It’s not your place to tell anyone about this.
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My girls dad is estranged from our girls. Doesn’t even call on birthdays (and the older one is the day after his). I stopped trying to keep him informed on the girls because he never tries to remember. If the girls want to tell him something I leave it to them to tell him.
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Regardless of what others are saying. I applaud you for have such a positive attitude about this and not treating it as if it is some dirty taboo secret… it is a beautiful part of personhood… if not annoying and sometimes painful… but beautiful none the less. Although, it is her body… her cycle… it is her choice who she shares that with. In time she may share it with him, but for now… let her be.
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It is her choice. Some are embarrassed by it. But if she goes to visit with him, he should know. If she doesn’t tell him, I would talk with him about it. Ask him not to bring it up to her. As her father, he may need to know. Give her time and don’t push her to tell him. But talk to her about telling him when she goes to visit. Especially if she needs pads. Or if she’s one that may have heavy periods. Or ones that clot etc. It could be important that he knows
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It’s her experience to share or not to share, not yours.
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He needs to know when she is in his care, if that means you telling him them yes
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Most girls dont want that being talked about with their dad?
Tell him just let him know not to mention so he can have feminine products in his house when she’s over.
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I would say YES! He should not tell her he knows but should be informed so that he can be prepared.
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Please dont betray her trust, regardless of “his right as a parent”. Just make sure she packs pads with her whenever she goes over, just incase she needs them. Perhaps she can even hide a pack there for emergencies. If he finds out on his own, so be it, but if she has asked for you to not say anything, DONT EMBARRASS HER. I was in the EXACT same situation with living between my parents and I was mortified when I found out my mum had told my dad. I felt like I couldnt trust her with anything for a long time, and when your body is going through such wild, scary changes, you need someone you can turn to. Please listen to your kids when they ask you to keep a secret. They’ve confided in you when they feel vulnerable, dont make them feel worse.
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Why do you feel the need to tell him?
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Keep it to yourself. She is trusting you. When she goes to visit make sure she is stocked up before the trip. She will tell him. In her own time. If it was something that could hurt her I would say tell him. Its important that she can tell you anything.
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I told my ex when our daughters started but I told him so they didn’t have too be awkward and ask for pads and midol. He stocked up on all of it and bought them their favorite snack cakes when they came over.
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