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QUESTION:
"My upper elementary son told me he is gay….first off, I will always support my kids…..I just wonder if he completely understands…he says he does, but I'm not to sure….could this be a phase? have any other mama's been thru this??"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"He may know, some people just know really young. Either way I would just support him, & let him navigate it as he gets older"
"I knew my sister was from a very early age, and so did she, but she hid it. Now that he is out he is going to need your support more than ever, and honestly he must feel he has that support to come out to you."
"My 12 year old daughter told me she was gay last year. I just support her even if it’s a phase. I’m just so happy she came to me. So I can help her and support her."
"I think it’s great that he feels comfortable enough to talk to you about it NOW. Just follow his lead when it comes to talking about it/questions, etc. time will tell. I’m sure he knows who he is attracted to. Right? 5th/6th grade. I remember being that age and having crushes. if he is…He is. If he isn’t. He isn’t. Just love him unconditionally regardless."
"Just let him be. Support him. If you arent sure the best way to support him, that’s ok. Find a family group for parents of homosexual children, whether its online or in person. Now I’m not saying there is anything wrong with your son being gay. It’s great that he felt comfortable telling you. But getting into a support group, if you aren’t sure how to support him and any challenges he may face (sadly this world can be horrible), could help make sure you know what he could come up against. Now with that being said, usually kids don’t really go through a “phase” with sexuality. Especially with males because there is, sadly, still a stigma. If anything homosexual males are more likely to go through a “I’m straight” phase. But he may just be curious. And thats ok. In my opinion, childhood or more so preteen ages should be the time to find their likes and dislikes. If he thinks he likes boys, support him. In the future if he says he likes both or just girls, then support him. Interests can change and that’s OK. But please please please remember, the fact that he wasn’t to scared to let you know says you are already doing something right. I think every kid should just be able to bring home a boyfriend or girlfriend regardless of their gender and no one bats an eye. Every child deserves love and support and it sounds like you are already giving him that."
"My son officially mentioned he was gay in the 6th grade. He had known for a long time that he’s gay and when he started maturing he finally just found a word for what he had pretty much always felt. Honestly I thought he was too young but then it was like as soon as he said it he started gaining all of this confidence he hadn’t had before. It was amazing to watch. Just love your kid and make sure he knows you’re proud of him and that will give him the space to love and be proud of himself."
"My sister is gay and she knew she was gay at a very young age… if he says he likes boys he probably likes boys. Don’t make a big deal out of it and don’t make him feel dirty for it."
"My daughter came out when she was in 6th grade. I blew it off as a phase. Her first date-with a girl-was in 8th grade. She is going to be 20 it most definitely was not a phase. Depending on your child, they may know very young. My daughter has always been super mature. More so than I."
"Believe me it is not a phase. I knew I was gay when I was 8 years old"
"Assume it’s not a phase and show the child the unconditional love he deserves"
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