Ladies, do you go out with your friends without your man? I’m trying to prove a point to my hubby. He gets offended and mopes when I even suggest it. To him, we’re only supposed to go out together. Which means we never do ANYTHING unless we can get a sitter. This isn’t one sided either- he never goes out with his friends. He claims he doesn’t even have any friends to HAVE a guy’s night out. So he throws that at me too when I wanna go out. He’s great, really, in absolutely every other way. But this is making my identity crisis so much worse. I just want to feel like I have a life outside of mom and maid maybe once a month.
My husband loves when I do stuff for me. I come back in such a good mood. I even go to movies alone and he is super supportive. He goes to his buddy’s house and I love that because I get naps and space to myself.
I’d still go do stuff even if my husband moped, we don’t “allow” each other to do anything, but we support each other’s needs.
I absolutely have to go out with my friends. I need female
Companionship and my husband is very supportive. I am a people person and come home refreshed and happy to see my hubby .
I go out with friends, have dinner with my friends group once a month, go to concerts, girls weekend away. He doesn’t “allow” me to.do these things but I do have a discussion with him about what my plans are, and to make sure he doesn’t mind. (He never does) If he wants to do something with me then he always comes first.
Go out with your friends. It’s so important to have a separate life from each other. And tell him to make friends!!!
He needs to find some friends and get a hobby. You absolutely need to go out with friends.
Yeah, I go out with friends at least twice a month and in September im going overnight for two nights for a getaway. He does the same. Its good for your marriage!
Allow?
That’s the word that’s so wrong here. My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. He doesn’t own me. But yes he’s fine with me going out and doing my own thing
My hubby don’t care! Most times we go out with friends together but I definitely schedule girls days and me and the ladies go out, kid and hubby free. And if he tried to tell me what I could and couldn’t do ooooo boy
“Allow?” My husband doesn’t need to “allow” me to do anything. I am my own independent person and I make my decisions. I go out regularly with my friends. It’s healthy. He does too. We are both individuals first and need to continue to do things individually. We also do couple things too.
Yes, I can go out anytime I want. I choose not to go out much because I love hanging out with him. Married 26 years
I’m not interested in nights out and neither is my partner, we do prefer to do things together which isn’t easy with 6 kids lol but I do go once to twice a week for breakfast with my mates without him for 3-4 hrs.
My mom days are trips to the grocery store… lol I think it’s a husband thing cause mine will always say we don’t need to go hang out with friends, etc.
We don’t ask each other for permission. Yes, we may consult one another, but we don’t control one another.
I have my me time from time to time. My other half doesn’t have a problem with it. You need to have your girls time
I think every woman or man needs to have a night out with their friends because if they don’t life just gets boring. My hubby used to go with his friends and came home happy, invigorated. I went to a concert with my friends and had a great time
Been married 13 years. He’s always had an issue with me going out alone, and tbh, I let him control that for a long time. Recently, we separated, but still live ko together until I’m able to find a place. I now do whatever I want, whenever I want. This is a “him” problem. You’re an adult. Do what you want. Tell him to make some friends if he doesn’t have any.
It’s a must that you go out on your own. It’s good for the soul. He needs to join a sports team or a book club and make the effort to have some friends. He shouldn’t take that out on you
I go atleast atleast once a month with friends. my husband goes fishing with his buddies and we each take a separate trip once a year WITHOUT each other. sometimes Y’all need that break
he encourages me to get out without him and the kids esp if he knows I need a break
He needs to make some friends. Sometimes I go out with my friend, but we go out during the day have a couple drinks and lunch then we go thrift store shopping.
I relate so much to your husband however I would never tell my husband not to go out with his friends. He’s with us all the time and doesn’t neglect his family so once in a while he goes out. I choose to be with my kids because of mom guilt and separation issues but that’s not my husband’s problem either.
Yes I do. Separate lives and hobbies is extremely healthy. We used to work together and live together I got sick of seeing him now I love getting to come home and tell him about things. And vice versa
My boyfriend and I both go out with our friends without each other!! It’s toxic not to honestly so he’s gotta get over that.
With my ex husband yes. I wasn’t allowed anywhere alone or out with friends. However he was…
It doesn’t sound like it’s really an allow situation. Sounds like he doesn’t have any friends to go do something with so it bothers him that you do. He needs a friend. It’s great to go out as a couple but it is okay to do things separately.
Allow is a strange word but My husband encourages me to hang out with friends have some Nikkie time outside of being a wife and mother. You have to have a identity outside of your spouse. Your hubby needs to make his self friendly and make some good friends to hang out with.
My husband is my best friend, so usually when I go off to do something we go together. That aside, there are some things I like to do for fun that make him beyond bored so he more or less insists I go on my own or with other friends lol. He also doesn’t have many friends so it’s rare that he goes off without me, but that has never been an angling point for guilt that he’s used to keep me near him.
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. He respects me enough to treat me like a human who can make my own decisions. If you want to go out, then go out. If he wants friends, tell him to get some.
You need to go out. You are his partner not his property. Me and my fiance both go out without each other and it is ABSOLUTELY necessary to have some time with friends and spend short times apart from your spouse. Its great that he wants to do things together but it shouldnt be a requirement every time.
Allow? You are a full grown adult. Tell him to make.some friends
Sounds like he just doesn’t have a life outside of your marriage. Maybe it isn’t controlling but more he feels your his only life and doesn’t see that you have your own life outside of marriage. Does your friends have boyfriends or husbands? Maybe introduce them so he has some friends. Try to encourage him to make new friends. Or if there is a hobby he has. My husband use to play air soft. He made new friends that way.
Just go out anyways🤷♀️he’ll get over it
Allow there is no allow you are both free people to go out as and when no one should be controlled x
Been married 15 years. My husband has no problem with me going out with my girlfriends.
Allow??? Not sure that fits anywhere in a marriage because we are not children and can make our own decisions. So yes I go out with friends and I encourage my husband to do the same even though he is more of a home body than me.
It’s healthy to have friends and do things without your spouse all the time. I don’t get the idea just because you are married you shouldn’t be doing anything unless you do it with each other.
I don’t do anything but mainly bc I choose not to. My husband doesn’t give me permission to do anything. It out of respect for my marriage we do discuss plans that we each would like to make and arrange plans based on that discussion.
Absolutely not would my husband ever be allowing me to do anything what are we their children no we are their partners married almost 19 years together 20 and yes when we first got together he was so insecure and very jealous I couldn’t even go with his mom or sister without him calling 10 times but after we communicated our boundaries and what we would and would not except then it definitely got better he does his thing I do mine im usually almost always with our 2 youngest daughters 12 and 13 doing girly things because truly they are my little bffs he goes off on motorcycle rides with his buddies not ever is it can I go it’s always hey do you have any plans for us or yourself this day because I would like to go do this with so and so and he will say yes I have plans to ride or I had planned on us doing something ok great ill find another day if not he says no none at all I will hang with the girls that day he needs to find something he enjoys to do outside of tour marriage for himself ge will be a much happier version of himself and you will get a whole new version of him as well for the better good luck dol remember to keep the communication open let him know he can test or call you let him no he has nothing to worry about some guys need that extra assurance
That’s very concerning behaviour!!! My partner has the kids for me to go out and I have them nights he wants to go out … He shouldn’t throw it in your face that he hasn’t got friends to go out with … But I would be questioning why he hasn’t … Go out enjoy yourself. But seriously … Huge red flag!
Yes, absolutely. Not even a question, what in the world?
It’s healthy to go out with friends without your partner. I been in both shoes with long term relationships. One didn’t care and we each did our own things, then family things and couple things. After that relationship ended, I got into another one where he didn’t want me seeing family or friends without him. It took a huge toll on me and eventually I didn’t even know who I was or how to go somewhere without him. We all need me time. Without it we can lose ourselves
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. We are grown adults and can make our own decisions. If it’s something important then yes, we do discuss it but there is no “allowing” from either us.
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. I am my own person, as is he. We do as we please. We also have respect for each other so If I want to do something or he does we always “check” with the other to make sure they don’t have plans or something.
If you’re in a situation where “allowing” is in the relationship vocabulary then its controlling and toxic.
It doesn’t matter what our husbands do, let’s talk about yours. Sit with him and let him know you need this . That you love him but you also need a life other than wife and mama. He actually has that at work. Do you ladies go to a bar and drink or just out to a restaurant? Start praying that God will bring male mentors to his life for friendships, get involved with couples groups at church etc. Good luck.
My partner doesn’t “let me” do anything. I am my own person and perfectly capable of making decisions like whether or not I want to hang out with my friends. Now I do not go out to bars and clubs and stuff like that, but if I did all I would have to do is tell him when and where and he wouldn’t have a problem with it. It’s not your fault your husband has no friends. Maybe he should change his attitude and he would have some. But him making you feel bad for wanting to spend some time with your girlfriends is controlling and a major red flag.
Yes, I did a lot, my man didn’t like going out so I went out with my friends. At least twice a month. You need to have friends and have fun. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I was not out looking for another man. We would go dancing, movies , restaurants,and bars.
You have to have time away from the kids and hubby and have girl time. I go on a yearly trip with my 2 best friends . It’s usually a Thursday-Sunday. I come back recharged and am so happy to be back with my family. Girls share things with each other, support each other and connect on a different level. I love my husband to no end however missing him those days make me love him even more and remind me how thankful I am for the life he provides me. Before the girls trip I used to meet 1 of them once a month to do crafts or go out to dinner.
Couples need to do things with people other than each other. It’s not healthy to not have friends outside of a relationship.
I have a wife, not a husband, but still. Same premise. Both of us are homebodies, however, any time she has wanted to meet up with coworkers for supper or drinks, it doesn’t bother me at all. I don’t really have friends here in waco to do stuff with but the few times I’ve done stuff with coworkers, (we both work in schools), she didn’t have a problem with it either. It’s not your fault he doesn’t have friends to do stuff with. You are allowed self care and that means having friends outside of him. I can understand him being upset if it’s every single night. But girl, push for it. It will make you a happier mama. It’s not fair to you for him to act like that.
This is all a “him” problem. Not your fault he’s no friends and is needy. Go out and enjoy your girls night. Me and hubby always support each other when one of us goes out. So much so we take the kid out the next day so the person that went out can suffer with their hangover in bed peacefully. It’s team work.
Been in a relationship for 20 years. And I am only 33yo. Take it from me! GO OUT! Don’t let him determine it. You are young you need to live your life. You can’t let his insecurities deter you from having a life outside of Your Home. You will start to resent him and with resentment comes loss of emotions and care and love. You guys must have your OWN lives and identity in order to be a successful couple.
Find him a hobby. That is a very unhealthy relationship. He needs to seek therapy. Yes, we go out with our individual friends, bff all the time. Then we come back and tell each other stories about the evening. It reminds us why we fell in love in with each other. A relationship with our husband shouldn’t consume our entire life. That isn’t love anymore. You become a crutch for their mental illness. Your not their partner anymore.
Although he doesn’t support the idea, perhaps let him mope and start getting out. Maybe this will help him to get out.
My ex and I did the same. Everything together. For 20 + years. I was only 20 when I met him so I meant all of our friends where just that. Ours. His. When we split, he kept them all. Cheers to them lol
Is he an introvert? I only ask because I am. I have a ton of acquaintances, but I don’t necessarily see them as people I’d plan a night out with. That could be part of his problem. Especially if he’s saying he doesn’t have any friends. Does he get along with any of your friends husbands? If so, maybe they can invite him out. You can even alternate girls night and guys night. Maybe if he had the opportunity to get out, he’d understand where you’re coming from. You could also kind of get the ball rolling by inviting your friends and their husbands over for a cookout or something. Maybe plan a girls night out with your friends, while all the husbands are around. Once he sees that it’s normal Maybe he’ll get on board with it. At some point he’s going to have to understand that you need to get out every now and then.
My husband never says if I can or can’t go out or with who and I don’t hold his schedule hostage either. We both have friends outside of our marriage and have always been able to do stuff without the other one present or giving permission. We have been married for almost 48 years and have never put constraints on the other person. He is more social but that is his personality.
I go out with a friend usually only shopping though and it’s when my partner is at work
Excuse me, “allow”?
“Allow??” Well I don’t ask permission.
I play bingo, Sip & paint Movies ( gals) & maybe just a brief lunch at a local or quaint restaurant.
My husband is usually gone two to three days a week because we live and hour away from his work(better schools for the kids) but his parents live like 10 minutes away from his work so we are apart a lot. I spent last week with my bestfriend.
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. I’m a grown woman, and I do what I want to. There’s issue number one.
We communicate and talk about things. Of course I tell him I’m planning to go out with my friends and we communicate about schedules, but no I don’t ask for permission.
Absolutely go out with the girls.
Allow me? My man is only my boyfriend and he doesn’t care if I go out. He trust me. If you want to go out, your spouse shouldn’t care. Obviously as long as you’re being safe and careful!
You’re an adult, you’re allowed out.
Don’t let him manipulate you cause he’s got no friends.
If he did, he wouldn’t be home
Yes, I did a lot, my man didn’t like going out so I went out with my friends. At least twice a month. You need to have friends and have fun. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I was not out looking for another man. We would go dancing, movies , restaurants,and bars.
You absolutely need time and space outside of each other.
He doesn’t allow you to do anything, you are an adult that is very capable of making your own decisions. Now as far as letting him know where you are going and who you are going with is another thing. I go out with my married friends at least once a month for a girl’s night. Even take girl trips with a few. You have to remember you are a person that has needs like everyone else yours or no different than his. Go have fun and enjoy yourself. Men always think when woman go to dinner or out for a drink and dancing they are trying to hook up with someone else. They never realize we definitely are not looking for what we need a break from. Have fun momma self care and love is needed for your sanity
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything he supports me in whatever but he ain’t my dad I don’t need his permission I need his support and opinions. But in all fairness I have no friends and I don’t want any lol I’m cool with just my husband and kids
I couldn’t imagine being in that situation. You definitely need to have a sit down with him. I’m so lucky to not only go out from time to time but he even drops me off and will pick me up no matter what time I call him. He also doesn’t have friends but he plays golf and smokes cigars which he does with clients and some of his employees. So he gets his time and I get mine. I still don’t go out often without him or our daughter, but when I do we like eachother a little bit more.
My husband loves me to visit a friend.
Yeah I’m 37yrs old and no one OWNS me. My husband kinda has the same issue of not having friends, but we go to my besties and he’s friends with her husband but I can go alone to hang with her. Tbh the only friends I have are my husband & her. They’re enough for me. I love hanging with my husband. He’s my very best friend. I’m not super social like u sound though
My hubby always tells me to have a great time, tells me to take a cab and gives me money to enjoy
He is not your dad! You don’t need to be allowed to go out with your friends or even by yourself for a self care activity. It’s not your fault that he doesn’t have friends! Google some articles about mental health and the importance of still feeling independent and having time to socialize and for yourself and how that actually helps marriages having healthier relationships and send him the links cause honestly he sounds controlling and that is going to end up suffocating you
“Allow”??? Yes we ask each other out of respect but theres no “allow”
You need a life outside of the home … go out with your friends
I go out with my husband…I think it’s ridiculous to go and leave the husband. But I’m old school. When I was growing up unheard of. Less divorces!! Do what ya’ll want my husband is my best friend
Tell him you’re going and if he doesn’t like it then he can go with you
I go out all the time with my friends…and he goes out with his…
I do my hub trusts me and I need girl time
I go away on trips with my friends without my husband… your husband needs friends and trust.
I’m kinda like your hubby wld prefer no outside friends as I only prefer him and family but I completely accept him having outside friends and doing whatever makes him happy. I know no one is going to be like me and allow people to thrive and be themselves. He’s a great guy I feel it through the post. I hope you can get through it ease it on him so you can regain yourself as a woman that’s crucial for us.
He’s too controlling tell him to get over it go out with your friends
Just because he doesn’t have friends doesn’t mean you should not be given time to have a girls night or fun with friends. It’s really that simple. People are individuals before couples. Grateful my boyfriend and I understand each other’s need for independence. Hope yours will come around. Suggest a guy’s cousins date or something?
Hubby and I rarely go out together, we both go out more with our friends separately
I go out with my friends about every 4ish months where we actually GO OUT. But I also have sleepovers at my best friends house, sometimes I even take the kids and we have a big Disney sleepover in the living room, but sometimes it’s just me and her watching cheesy movies and drinking margaritas on her couch
It’s healthy to spend time apart and have other friends and interests away from each other. But also, date nights together are important too. The sitter issue is a struggle but I think as long as you prioritize time alone with each other just as much as you do away from each other then it works well.
My husband doesn’t “allow” me anything. I’m an adult woman with friends and family, and I am absolutely entitled to spend time with them. Him not having friends to do the same is not your fault or your responsibility.
He needs to make friends so he can go out. That pouting&bs is for children. U have a rite to have adult friends&an adult time w/ or w/o him
We love doing things together but we also need time apart with friends or alone. I take time for both.
He doesn’t need to allow me to do anything. With that being said, my husband and I do everything together because that’s what we like. It’s going to depend on the couple.
Yes we both need time away
I work in a tire shop and I go out with the guys whenever I want because my husband trusts me. We have 2 young kids. 6 and 9yrs old. So when I go out he watches the kiddos. And if he wants to go out with whomever I don’t have an issue with it either.
Allow??? You’re kidding right?
Yea, we’re married, but that does not imply ownership. We go out with our buddies, our partners have as much right to go out with theirs. At least, that’s how I look at it, it’s all a matter of trust
My man makes me do things on my own because I am so devoted to my kids to the point of me passing out… so the moments I have to myself are about an hour, hour and a half tops and I feel so much better when coming home afterwards. Some alone time or time away from the family is very much needed.
“Allow” is not a word that would be uttered from his mouth, without serious consequences and regret. Just saying
Shouldn’t be an issue. Nor should you need permission. Everyone needs some down times and to see friends or family, or even just go for a beach stroll on your own. It’s good for your mental health and your relationships. Id nicely tell him that you’re going out on x day with some friends and you’ll be home at x time because you really need to have a nice night out with some friends. If he spits the dummy, let him lol if he wants your time too he can plan a date night
Why don’t you invite your friends to your house. Let him see who you are going out with. If they have partners, maybe he could actuals have friends to go out with too,let your girlfriends know what’s going on with your husband. Maybe they have mates like him too. Could be a good thing. Goodluck
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. Go out with your girlfriends!
Married twice. Neither “allowed” me to do anything.
I feel like this is the beginning of a future episode of Big Mad True Crime. This is toxic.
Personally, I wouldn’t go out to a club or anything like that without my husband. I will go out to eat, go shopping, hang out, go to the movies , and other similar things with a friend or two. Everyone is different though.