You’re still two individuals despite being in a relationship. If you don’t take time for yourself, you’ll resent him for it in the long run. Go without him. He will survive until you get home.
I go out with my friends once a month been married 43 yrs. No issues
My husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. I’m a grown woman. We discuss stuff like adults.
I didn’t marry my dad lmao…he doesn’t ALLOW me to do anything, if I or him for that matter want to go out with friends, see you later!
Allow wrong word for sure no allow for me
Allow?? He is my husband not my daddy…and yes we both have our individuality…we don’t do the permission/allow stuff…lol
4 Likes
Wow he’s not ur keeper he doesn’t have to allow it!
1 Like
JFC, this is terrifying. No, I don’t get permission and would die laughing if my partner tried to refuse it. This is gross and unacceptable. Healthy relationships shouldn’t alienate anyone else in the couples lives
1 Like
Allow?? Lol 
A marriage/relationship is two individuals who come together to create a life. Not two individuals who merge into one collective person. Each is supposed to have interests and friends and options to go out or attend things alone. It’s not required that every min and every outing be together.
my husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything. i do what I want. no one has control of me but me.
2 Likes
My husband has zero problem with me going out with friends. Or with me going out by myself for a pedi or hair appt or shopping.
My husband loves to go golfing and four wheeling with his friends during the day and I go shopping or wine tasting with my friends but we have a mutual agreement that we usually don’t go out in the evening unless we have a sitter and can go together. Also we just like to be home in the evening to have dinner as a family. I don’t like the idea of being out with my friends while he handles dinner and the kids alone or vice versa.
No. My partner doesn’t get a say. As long as I’m not neglecting him, my job, the kids or the house - I am an adult with free will and so is he. That sounds incredibly controlling and manipulative. And it sounds exhausting.
5 Likes
I was infatuated at" does your husband allow you". LMAO!! I’m a grown Woman! I don’t need permission. Yes, I do tell hubby where I’m going, and with who as a courtesy. He does the same. I am not his child. I do not seek permission. But, on a side note, I HAVE been in your shoes when I was young. He’s a distant memory now. Good luck from one previous hostage to another. 
( could the reason he has no friends be that he’s to busy controlling his wife??)
I go out at least twice a month for wings with my office manager. Hubby stays with 3 kids and has never once complained. Any time he wants to go oit I show him the same courtesy. Every relationship is different, but in saying that we all need a break. Maybe sit and work out some kind of schedule that works for you both so you feel like both of your needs are being met.
No my husband doesn’t mind. In fact I’m going to a concert tomorrow night and he is not going. Never an issue
I have been able to go out with my friends. No one take that Away from me. Even trips with
I travel with my girl friends! My husband wants me to have fun with my friends
I don’t go out but I know he wouldn’t mind one bit
Allow is a not a word I would use in my relationship. My husband doesn’t care if I go out with women nor do I care if he does things without me. We love doing things together but we also respect the other person’s needs without taking it personally if space is needed. If he has a specific concern or myself for that matter we have a conversation about it and find a way we both can agree on.
I go out without my husband and he does the same. We have different interests. He goes to the races, sporting events, and hangouts with his buddies. I like bookstores, movies, coffee shops,and outlet malls. Unless you’re doing something super dangerous or going out with the intention of trying to meet other men I don’t see an issue
1 Like
I would never be with a man who couldn’t understand the fact that we each have lives…with each other…with our families…and with our friends…we DO NOT have to go everywhere together!..also…Noone ALLOWS me to do anything! That’s laughable!
I’ve never heard that term “allow me” I do what I please and my husband knows there’s not a damn thing he can do about it so he says “call me if you get into trouble” OR “See you when you get back, love you”
Mine encourages girl time with my friends it’s not that he doesn’t want me around but he understands and knows when I just need a few minutes alone. I do give him respect of asking beforehand in case he has something already planned or if he wants to do something else as a family but most tomes if not all the time he’s always tells "yeah, go for it why do you need permission from me?
Mine will give me food $ just so he doesn’t have to come! He’d prefer to stay with the baby- it’s a win-win.
Does he allow you. Oh boy. Go out with your friens.
Allow me…you all funny…Iam grown
1 Like
Um allow?? Honey, you’re a grown woman. You don’t need permission. If it’s about him having to watch the kids while you do, remind him you didn’t crawl on top of yourself and have those babies. We all deserve time out without our partners
1 Like
“ALLOWS”? I’m a grown a** woman - if I want to go out with friends - I’ll go out - end of discussion. Same with my husband. (Obviously checking neither has plans… checking for work etc). It’s healthy to have separate friends - interests and time apart. Your husband os trying to emotionally black mail you and control you, while using it. Almost sounds like he doesn’t trust you out alone.
Sure do. Even travel outside of the country for girls trips.
I would never go off without my husband
1 Like
I don’t have many friends and the one I’m really close too lives in a different state so I never go out with friends….however that doesn’t make me stop my husband from going out with his friends. He doesn’t go out often but every once in a while he goes out with friends or sometimes they come hang in our garage I see nothing wrong with it
“allow”
Think about that for a min 
24 Likes
I asked my husband, he said “no allowing would mean i require you to ask. If I ever have to allow you to do something then smack me”
“Allow”…hubby doesn’t own you. You shouldn’t need permission to go out, you’re an adult.
If “my husband” doesn’t have the same opportunity to go out as I do, it’s not fair to him either. I won’t go out without him. It’s called RESPECT. Also, for all of you women saying you HAVE TO go have your own time, blah, blah, blah… why do you feel the NEED to have it? Every time you go out (outside of shopping or other necessities) without your boyfriend or your husband… YOU put yourself into a position that makes yourself available for other men or women and crap to happen. Friends or not, couples can have “me” moments without needing to go get drunk at a bar, dinner at a restaurant, or even throwing yourself into a pit at a concert. I think women and men who feel the need to spend so much time out away from their significant other (and or kids) are absolutely selfish. If you’re in a relationship… BE IN THE RELATIONSHIP. You’re not single anymore.
1 Like
No mine doesn’t even allow me to have friends.
2 Likes
I don’t like going out at night, but my husband get 1 day off during the week and he sends put for the day. I hang with friends or just do “me time”. I homeschool our 3 kiddos and he knows I really need that time to just regain my sanity lol.
Honestly it’s because he feels like he has no friends. And that its a him issue. please dont lose yourself just to marriage…
I’m sorry, “allow”??? I don’t understand.
3 Likes
Don’t ask permission, tell him you’re going out. Maybe he’s controlling or maybe he’s lonely and misery loves company … either way, you deserve to have a life and friends
He may get sassy about it but you do need your time. This was a phase mine went thru but after he realized HE needed time away from me also it got way better. Mine use to say the same thing about not having friends, but he is not at all a people person whereas I am. So I just do my thing, he knows there is an open invite unless it’s specifically a “girls” thing. The open invite seemed to help alot, he never goes but he knows he can.
Does your Husband go out with his friends.
Even if you don’t go out with friends, you really do need to have something that you can do either by yourself or with someone else. A hobby, anything, gym, anything. My counselor told me I need to do stuff for myself, and although, I don’t really have time too, I enjoy plants and stuff so I’ve been getting into that. It does help. It doesn’t matter what your husband thinks, you’re your own person. Don’t let someone else tell you what to do. He’s not your father, he’s not in control of you or your life, so just do it.
You should each I’ll have your separate friends to hang out with once in a while.
Watch the movie I LOVE YOU, MAN
From a guys perspective: it’s all about trust. Idgaf if my wife goes out by herself, with girlfriends, or even guy friends. Talk to him. I’m sure there’s some deep rooted trauma he won’t tell you about. Such as his girl in high school always went out with her friends and ended up cheating on him. Woman forget guys may have been hurt at some point too and emotionally scared. Men’s mental health is often disregarded. So talk to him. Understand why. Help him find a hobby.
For one, mt husband doesn’t “allow” me to do anything… I am my own person and can make my own decisions. And yes I hang out with my friends without him. There is no way in hell he’d ever want to hang out with us. We are obnoxious when we are together! Lol
Yes. You need girl time. That’s his insecurities speaking and he’s holding you back.
1 Like
Maybe try a different approach instead of girls night out trying for coffee with the girls or brunch. Many women get drunk and do things they would not do otherwise when having a girls night out. Tell him you need this you need a break from the kids besides that will give him a bit of time with just him and the kids. He also needs to find a friend or two to do something with.
Sounds like your husband has insecurities and identity issues. He is afraid you will meet or talk to another man. This is why he doesn’t want you to do anything without him. He should consider therapy and get a hobby that might help him make some guy friends.
2 Likes
Let’s stop at the word “allow”… thats not how marriage works. You don’t need permission to do anything
Not normal-at all .Red flag if he doesn’t have any friends-!! My husband and I go out all the time on our own with our own friends which is so healthy. I would let him know ahead of time that you have healthy relationships outside of him which you value and in turn you need to nurture those friendships. If he doesn’t like it tell him that he needs to work on cultivating his own friendships and hobbies outside of you and your relationship.
Umm yes I am his wife he doesn’t own me
he doesn’t let me do anything, I am an adult. I will gladly inform him where I’m going and who I’m with and if I might need a ride later because I’ll be drinking, but I am not about to ask anyone for permission as an adult.
Hubby goes out with his friends and if mine lived near I’d go out with mine. “Normal” is what you and your hubby decide. What’s “normal” in my marriage might be different for others.
Just bc he “can’t” doesn’t mean you shouldn’t. That’s being controlling and selfish of him
Nope! He spanks me and puts me in the corner
My husband never cares if I go out. I also don’t care if he goes out. Sounds like he needs a hobby and you need some girl time. Don’t let his behavior dictate who you can and cannot hang out with. Plus the guilt trip thing is super toxic.
My husband is a home body. He doesn’t like to go anywhere or be around people. I have two people that I worked with for 20 years. They are my best friends and my family. I go with them alot and my husband doesn’t mind. He knows I am safe and loved so he doesn’t worry. We do not go to bars! We go to eat and to see my friends brother sometimes. I have no family. My parents, brother and sister have pasted. I need my friends.
Yes, I do spend time out with friends, but there is no such thing as “allow” or “disallow” in our marriage. In fact, I take annual vacations with my friends. I’ve been all over the US, Paris, and Ireland on girls trips. I just got back from spending 6 weeks on the opposite coast with my sister while my husband was home with the kids. He’s a homebody. I am not. Sometimes I take the kids with me so he can have time at home to indulge in his hobbies and get a break. We do spend time together frequently and we have a strong bond. The time apart is part of how we ensure the time we’re together is cherished. When we’re both feeling fulfilled as individuals it enhances our bond as a couple.
How often are you going out? Occasional nights out are fine. Him not having ANY friends is a red flag and I dgaf how anyone feels about my saying that. I can’t handle insecurity at all so his emotional manipulation with the poor me routine wouldn’t end well for me. I wouldn’t respond to that at all.
4 Likes
That is going a little bit far with him. You should not have to ask him if you can go out and are allowed. You should be able to go out and be with your friends and have fun. In my opinion I would just go and say I’m leaving goodbye have a nice night
Allow? I don’t ask him for permission. We check in to see if the other has plans we hadn’t talked about yet and make sure the kids will be handled. But there’s no asking for permission. We’re not each others property.
If I want to go I go. I don’t care if my husband goes out and when the kids were little he knew I got a break just like him.
Allow? Your a grown up no one can tell you what to do go out enjoy your friends he will have yo get over it
1 Like
He’s having a pitty party
It’s not your fault he doesn’t have friends, the question is why… he’s entitled to friends and time out with them, as are you!!!
You’re two individual people with different needs and interests, not siamese twins.
Sounds like he needs to get a hobby and meet some people with similar interests.
Don’t let this become a habit or you’ll be living a very isolated life… needing permission isn’t healthy for your relationship, especially in the long term… you shouldn’t need permission from anyone, and neither should he.
You lost me at “allow you”
ALLOW? that word doesn’t exist in my relationship…we do things together and we do things solo…never have either of use told the other what we can or can’t do…and its been 10 years…So glad my man doesn’t have these kinds of issues…
I don’t need to be allowed to do anything
2 Likes
Allow? I hope you don’t need permission? Yes I ask my husband but only to know if there are other plans or can he watch the kids etc. please go enjoy yourself with friends we all need life outside from just our marriage.
Nothing at all wrong with going out once in a while.you are a grown woman you don’t need anybody’s permission to go out once in awhile .and him telling you can’t is him trying to control you .dress up look and feel pretty and have fun .
I use to be like him, I was insecure and didn’t have many of my own friends and was very codependent on my husband (this was when we were dating). I am so grateful for the way our marriage has progressed. We each have our own life’s outside of our marriage and family. He goes golfing, takes trips out of town to see motocross and supercross (although I get bitter when I don’t get to go too because we both enjoy it), I have friends that I go on retreats with and hang out with, work out with- all separate from our mutual friends. But we have our family and our friends of the family which we are both close with and do holidays and birthdays with. I really don’t like how/who I was when our relationship struggled with my insecurities, but I absolutely love where we are now. It’s a healthy balance of togetherness and independence. Speaking as someone who was where he is, he needs to find his own tribe of friend. It will do wonders for his self esteem and your marriage.
How depressing…Maybe introduce him to some of your friend’s guy friends, or sign him up for the lions club or something😆
“Allow you” what s that I don’t have to ask my husband if I can go out. Seems a bit controlling.
Allow you to?? 
. You’re an adult and you’re letting another adult control you. I don’t have a lot of friends that I hang out with but if l wanted to l would.
Allow? Ermmmmm. Not got a say, more like.
“Allow” is a red flag already.
Allow Me… I do what I want.
If I want to go out I’ll go out….my husband doesn’t need to allow me too and he would never tell me I’m not allowed
In saying that,we don’t like going out separately
He actually doesn’t at all lol
I’ll go out with the girls when the time comes
Allow??? He isn’t your parents… my husband doesn’t care who I have a girls day/ night with.
Uh yes he does. I dont do it often though. He just let me go on a trip to a different state with mine while he stayed back with our son lol
As long as I give him enough notice so he’s sure to be home from work or needs to ask off the next day in case I’m home late he doesn’t care.
Same way for him, as long as he lets me know so I can plan accordingly I don’t care haha
No one controls me EVER!!!
1 Like
Depends what girls night entails. Are you going out drinking etc. If you’re just trying to go out and socialize it’s really weird he has a problem with it
1 Like
Yea, it’s called GIRLS NIGHT!! Tell your husband you’re still a grown woman who has friends that you need to see! Just because you’re a mom and wife doesn’t mean you can’t have a social life that doesn’t always include your husband. Just tell him you’re going out and he can watch the kid(s). He’s a grown man and perfectly capable to handle it. You’re not his mommy or source of entertainment. And allow? He’s not your boss! Go out! Let him bitch and complain like a child. He needs to learn to do things by himself and I dunno…find a hobby that doesn’t include you. It’s not your fault he doesn’t have friends. Tell him to go out and make some! Tell him you need time to be just yourself and hang with your friends and as your husband he should be willing to meet that need for you. If he’s not willing to then he’s just being childish and selfish🤷🏻♀️
And the first problem here is being “allowed” to go out with your friends. I kind of see why he has none. Stay in and become miserable like him 
sheesh. I’ll be Damned if I was with a man I need permission from to do ANYTHING!
“Allow”? I don’t ask for permission.
1 Like
CONTROLLING AND UNHEALTHY. This is isolation
My husband is my partner not my keeper. What do you mean “allowed”. Of course I am.
“Allow” 
Therapy before you waste anymore time
excuse me…allow. I am not owned by my husband
Um, allow? That’s a word that shouldn’t be used that way in a marriage in my opinion. My husband and I don’t allow anything. I’m not his mother and he’s not mine. Just because he doesn’t have mates doesn’t mean you can’t either. Go out. Once a month is perfectly fair. He’s free to make friends and go out too, that’s not your responsibility. Let him sulk. Encourage a healthy change. But don’t suffocate yourself for anyone. Not even yourself. Xxx
I have 7 kids here no way I get to go out with friends. I don’t really have time for one but a couple years ago I did go do some stuff with my friend but I took a couple kids with me
You should always have time apart. Otherwise it’s an unhealthy marriage. You are married as one, but you are still two separate human beings with separate friend groups. Sure your friends all get together to do things, but you need time with your girls and he needs time with his guys. If my husband ever told me I couldn’t go out my girls, we’d be having a discussion the next day, after I had a fun time out with my girls for the evening. If he can’t trust you out, he needs to seek therapy and soul searching and figure out why he doesn’t trust you and why he is insecure to where it is leading to controlling you. It’s abusive, toxic, and disgusting.
Me and my husband have the same friend group so we usually try to do things together, BUT we both know that sometimes we need 1 on 1 time with our same sex friends.
This idea is disgustingly unhealthy. Absolutely you need to spend time WITHOUT your spouse and with your own friends.
Allow??? Sorry but you are an adult now, you don’t live with your parents anymore. Marriage is a 50/50 partnership no controlling aspects should ever be in a marriage.
My dad once looked at me and said " your husbend lets you go out to the bar?! ( with coworkers after 2nd ahift in ER)
I said “My husband doesnt LET me do anything. Im not his child or his property.”
“Allow???” Um no!!! Why does he have that much control