He’s 2 right? You said any other girl you haven’t had a problem with? How many has there been? Talked to the dad and ask when it’s been 6 or 7 months of dating then yes she can be around. Your son is getting older and don’t need to meet multiple women it’s not healthy. But the son needs his father suggest that wait 6 or 7 months
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That’s unfortunately not a choice you get to make. As long as she is not a threat to your child, you don’t have anything to say about who he is dating. I understand you personally have your feelings, but that has nothing to do with the child. You have to keep the two separated.
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She didn’t make him cheat. That was his choice. You are holding the wrong party accountable.
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It’s depends if the only reason you don’t want her around is because he cheated on you with her.
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yes u are being unreasonable, bitter n should let bd see his kid. you don’t get a say who’s around the kids when he has him. with a court order. if you kept him over something as petty as this. or even anything for that matter, you’d be held in Conejo and be in trouble.
get over it. and stop being bitter and petty 
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If you don’t want your son around her confer with a lawyer about your wishes.
U r wrong if u r doing it out of pity , grudgingly, or jealousy,. But if ur gut tells u he’s in danger then that’s definitely different. I think it’s the first choices though n u have every right to feel tht way , but he’s still the daddy n he cheated on u I’m so sorry about tht to bc I know first hand tht it hurts bad
I know the whole situation sucks but you can’t keep your son from his dad just cause you don’t want him around the girl your ex cheated on you with. You don’t sound bitter you sound hurt and I’m so sorry you had to go through that especially while pregnant. Your ex sounds horrible so be glad your not with him. Its just a matter of time before he cheats on the next one.
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Maybe you should meet the women your sons going to be around because to me it sounds like your ex is going to be with her for a long time. Maybe get to know who he’s going to be around and you be the judge whether you want her around or not. Because removing your child from not seeing his dad because of something that happened between him and you is a bit ridiculous. The child has nothing to do with this. You also can’t be the only one making decisions. He also has a say as it’s his child. I’d have a sit down with the both of them to make you feel better in what you do decide to do
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I have many questions. Like how in less than 2 years has your son been exposed to multiple girls. Has she ever done anything harmful to your son or just you? Why aren’t you just telling the dad you still want him instead of playing games? However, in any event, to answer YOUR question. You absolutely 100% sound bitter. You need to accept that you can’t change the past nor can you control who your ex decides to be with and move on. I do wish you the best of luck
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Move on. He cheated he with her it’s not your business. As long as he’s taken care of his kids that should be your only concern.
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Not your call. You sound bitter.
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Yes this is wrong and you sound bitter af! You can’t control where the baby is or what they do on dads time
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Why can’t father’s just leave all the girlfriends out of our kids lives
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Unless they are a physical danger to the kid you have no say. You cant control what he does with his time with his kid.
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I’m gonna be the odd one out and say first off it sounds like he’s had the kid around multiple women and that’s not ok. I’d make sure it was a serious relationship before my kid was brung around another. And before people get their panties in a wad, when you are made to do the parenting class during custody court it also says in there that a parent should not bring another significant other in until it’s serious
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I don’t think you sound bitter at all… I think you’ve seen this girl for who she is, and don’t want that energy around your son… I get absolutely get that!
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Why hold a grudge against the girl? It was the ex who cheated. The girl might be a better person than the ex. Maybe meet her . She might be really kind and loving to your son. Use your own judgement from there.
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Only was it’s ok if shes a danger for your child to be around. Your child na d his dad have a legal right to have a loving relationship and unless the other person they’re dating is toxic you can’t say who they can be around.
So would you respect him if he said he didn’t want his son around a man you are dating. It has to go both ways you cant ask him to do something if yoy aren’t willing to do it your self… He has just as much rights to take his son around the peoplw he chooses as you do…
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Ain’t nothing you can do unless there is a custody agreement of a waiting period of 6 months. You can get in trouble for withholding him though. Doesn’t matter who she is or what they did. Period. Hard truth. My ex husband cheated on me for a year behind my back. Even had my kids around her as his “work friend” we finally separated and he immediately moved in with her. Two and a half years later they just got married and it’s easier for me to work with her than it is him.
Regardless if it’s the girl who he cheated then don’t let your son around any of your boyfriends
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My question is if the shoe was on the other foot and it was you messing and your bd had custody of your child how would feel if he was to do the same thing to you that you are doing to him now its fucked up that you are bringing your child in the middle of ADULT SITUATIONS its not your child’s fault that things didn’t work out between you no matter what parent it is they should never make a child hate on the other and never make them choose between the mom and dad and the answer to your question is YES YOU ARE BEING BITTER and say you get a boyfriend I betcha you would have him around your child in less then 2 months!
You not wanting a women around your son just yet isn’t bitter, your actually reason for not wanting her around is ridiculous. I told my ex that if he had a women around our kids I would like to meet her first & if I was to have a man around our kids i would let my ex meet him first. Did I like the women? Not at the time because it was the same women he cheated on me with, but this isn’t about us it’s about our children. I think you should tell him you would like to meet her & go from there.
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Tbf I would be the same in that situation. It’s a natural feeling. Try and met her to talk through things. At the end of the day you are his primary caregiver and can actually make the decision who he sees.
The fact that youre ok with all other females but her since he cheated on you with her should be your answer 
sounds jealous to me just being honest
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Yupp you sound bitter move on and let that man be happy smh 🤦
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Separations are hard enough the way it is with minor children; don’t let your pain affect your child(ren). They shouldn’t be held from the other parent based off of our emotions. They have a right to see their other parent no matter who they are brought around as long as their needs are met and they are safe. You can voice your opinion(s) to the other parent and attempt to reason with them, but you can’t control it.
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Honestly, as much as it may hurt you that your ex chose to be with the woman he cheated on you with, you have to stop to realize that he made the commitment to you and she did not. He cheated, she didn’t. If it wasn’t her it would have been a different person he cheated on you with. He broke the trust in your relationship.
So be upset with him. Not her. As you spend more time separated it gets easier. Right now it’s still fresh and it’s easy to put the blame on her because of residual love and feelings you have for him.
Don’t drive a wedge between the two of you when it comes to co-parenting. If your son is happy, healthy, and safe then take a step back and realize you don’t want to be the person responsible for a lack of relationship between your child and their dad. Your child will resent you when they’re older and can understand the situation.
Heal. Go to counseling. Be angry. But take a step back from your relationship with your ex. Be co-parents only, not friends or you will never move past this stage. And allow him to be a dad as much as he allows you to be a mom. You’re both the child’s parents and both love him. You have to trust him to make the right decisions for your son, as he trusts you with the same responsibility.
It’s okay to be hurt and angry, it’s not okay to use your son as a weapon in a hostage ultimatum situation.
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You don’t have a say who he brings around his child unless they are miss treating him
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If I ever split from my boys dad , we would both wait at least a year to have anyone else around them! 1 you need to know its serious! 2 you need to know them well and there not a threat to your kids 3 it will just Confuse them ! 4 you need time to heal and find yourself 5 concentrate on your home work life and children ect I could list alot of reasons I never get why people introduce any Tom dick and Harry to there kids makes me nervous 
You don’t have that choice legally. You’d go to jail for refusing contact and he could file an emergency petition for full custody. I just want you warned about it. He can call the police and get them involved if he’s that type of human. So just be prepared for that happening possibly
Why don’t you tell her how you really feel.
This is one of the times you have to put your own feelings aside. Its not about you. He cheated on you and chose to make that decision. Thats not on her whether you wanna believe that or not it was up to him ultimately to stay true to you and say no.
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Petty. This is not about you anymore. This is about your kid. Maybe an agreement is something the two of you should have written up. IMO its damaging to have multiple bf/gf around the children. But just because he cheated on you with her doesn’t give you just cause to object. Now if she abuses him then you have cause to say something. Get over yourself and see that your son needs two healthy parents no matter if they are together or not.
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I’m less worried about him having the woman who he cheated with around your guys kids, and more worried about the fact that you make it seem like he’s had multiple women around your child. If that’s the case that’s where I’d have an issue
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Well I’d definitely tell the person this post came from that she needs to give it to God and he will direct her paths. The daddy was unfaithful not the new girlfriend of the daddy. No custody agreement means y’all have equal rights. Pray and seek God about the situation.
I for 1 would beat the shit out of her …domt blam u for not wanting her around SPECIALY SHES REASON U GUYS BROKE UP…she woudent go around my kids hell no
You’re being petty! He’s the one who cheated on you & you took him back. Sometimes we gotta put our feelings aside & grow up.
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As painful as going through being cheated on (let alone when you were pregnant and at your most vulnerable), you really have no control over who your ex spends his time with. Being your son is only 2, I’m guessing you wish your ex had more sense to not have every women he dates around your son—your ex, ideally, should wait for your child to be around a serious long term relationship. And, I hope he’s at least introducing these all these women to your son as a friend and that they conduct themselves that way in front of him, and refrain from affection until they are alone. Otherwise, your son will think it’s appropriate to have random women in and out of his adult life — aren’t we all trying to raise good humans with a least a little bit of morals? Best of luck, hun. I hope you find your peace with this. 
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So your going to punish your son for his fathers indiscretions? That is immature! People make mistakes everyday ,you should be thankful that child has a father that wants him/ her. Stop punishing the child and grow up
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I understand how you feel, but that isn’t a reason for your son not being able to be around her.
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Any of yall ever been cheated on while pregnant???
Your feelings are 1000%%% validated! This ain’t got nothing to do with jealousy. It has everything to do with the already there, lack of respect. I wouldn’t and don’t find it very respectful that this female that he cheated on her with wants to act like it ain’t nothing. Wrong. I give you a million kudos for not keeping your son from his father given the situation! And I’m sure I’ll get some hate for this comment. And that’s fine as well. But until you’ve felt the pain of being cheated on WHILE PREGNANT. Then your opinions aren’t really valid.
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U can’t keep someone’s child away from them because u don’t like the ex’s partner why punish ur son from seeing his dad just as long as she’s good to ur child should be all that matters
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Some of you women sound fishy to me 
…
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I’ll give some insight on a possible GF perspective here. I have been with my now BF now for over a year. He has a almost 3 year old son with his ex. He did not cheat on her with me and I didn’t come along until well after their split. The EX refuses to meet me. Talks so much shit about me 24/7 and my 10 year old son. I have been nothing but loving to her child but the fact is, she is bitter that I am with her ex and tries to make things unnecessarily hard on me because of it. Don’t be that woman! Don’t judge someone if you haven’t even met them. Don’t judge someone off of small interactions either. I can understand the feelings you have but that is where you have to show that you are a mature adult and you won’t let pettiness get to you. Legally, nothing you can do unless she is harming your child. I watched it all go down in court before. The EX even went so far as to taking him to court to try and demand no over night stays or me even being around him in general, with no other valid reason other than I was too new and we wouldn’t last. It didn’t work in her favor at all.
You are just bitter. Honestly, if he decides to bring you to court for visitation, the judge will grant him it. I suggest you sit down with them and see what she is like as a person and roll model for your child. It will make your child’s life so much easier.
Remember, it takes 2 to cheat. It wasn’t all her.
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I don’t think parents should bring any new partners around their kids, so I wouldn’t like that either. You need to get to know someone better before you allow them around your children.
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Sounds like Jealousy , I think It’s His decision who can be or not with with and nobody’s business, If he hasn’t hurt or put Your Son around anyone that hurts him , Get over it !!!
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Girl I understand. Mine did the same thing and she knew he was married. I chose to stay and work things out then a surprise pregnancy. She pretended to be pregnant with his child after we announced our pregnancy then "miscarried "the fake baby. We made it a year and a half bf I finally left. Now she’s playing step mom to my child after he promised she’d never be allowed around our child. Nothing I can do and it’s so very hard. So I understand what you’re going through. It’s hard. Much love and peace to you.
I know it’s hard but for your own sanity just forgive and forget, move on with your lives and just focus on being amazing co parents together. You just need to bite the bullet, invite this woman out for a coffee and do your best to smile and be diplomatic, she might be your sons new step mother if this relationship gets serious, so you need to really think about your child and start fostering a healthy relationship and foundation with all involved. Yeah it’s hard, but your a mum so you have no choice to be strong and put your child above all else. Good luck sending you positive vibes 
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As much as you dislike it there is nothing you can do about it. That is called micromanaging and if you do end up going to court and they figure out that that is something you’re doing that will reflect poorly on you unfortunately. You have every right to feel the way you do though, I was in this exact same situation five years ago. I understand the hurt and pain!
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You are not wrong for feeling that way. But time has past and if you have no other reason to not like her besides the cheating then I wouldn’t keep him from going around her. If you can meet her and she’s a good person let him go. I’ve been in the exact situation and I’ve moved on. Do what’s best for the child regardless how you feel.
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YOU Birthed That Baby YOU call The Shots:relieved: You ain’t wrong ! Notice how all the MEN say it is 
If your son is only 2 and he has already had multiple women around him… that’s his biggest mistake. And no you 100% do NOT have to be okay with him having the woman he cheated on you with, being one of them. Most of these women calling you childish and judging you for feeling that way would feel the exact same if they were in your shoes. It’s easy to judge someone else’s situation when you’re not the one living it. What they’re failing to realize is that you and your partner need to have a certain level of respect to be able to co-parent in a healthy way for the child. With that said… The courts may not see it the same. You two definitely need an agreement! I haven’t dealt with that personally but I would be willing to bet that asking that your son not be around every woman he dates would be a reasonable thing to ask! But maybe not necessarily just the one woman he disrespected your family with/for. So you may not have a say in that alone… but your feelings are 1000% validated regardless what the legal stance is.
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You don’t get a choice. His time is his time. And your only issue with her is that he cheated with her. Well that’s a relationship issue not a parenting issue.
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Yes you’re being unreasonable.
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You might as well let it happen. As the father he has rights so let it happen or I’m sure he’ll take you to court
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You don’t have a say
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I say meet her, get to know who she is now before making a judgment call. And honestly depending on how long they’ve been together it really isn’t your call to make. Now if he was just bringing floozies around left and right I wouldn’t allow it either. But if it’s one girl whom he’s been with and she’s decent and not mean or worse then I wouldn’t worry
It’s not about you. It’s about your son. If the girlfriend is not a danger to your son then there is no reason at all to not be ok with the gf being around him.
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At the end of the day, in the long run we need to learn to work things out for the best to help our children. I was in a cheating abusive relationship when I first had my child, it was the best thing ever that we stayed split up. He is still with the woman he cheated on me with and he told my child to call her mama during the time he withheld her from me for months in a different state until I won primary custody so he couldn’t. Now it’s my choice, and even though I want my child to have nothing to do with that woman, it is her father‘s right to be with her and have his partner know his child as long as it’s a healthy relationship. You can set limits your comfortable with when having them around the child, but dictating leads to court. And judges don’t like when parents try to take away the other parents rights. My daughters father may NOT have been good to me, but I know he will be good to his daughter. That’s all that matters with your children and their parents, The rest if you are not together, it is not your choice unless it negatively affects your child. You now both live different lives and have to compromise for your children to have a healthy relationship with both parents.
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You need to meet her and see how she interacts with your son. Honestly, unless she’s abusive, a judge won’t grant your request of her not being allowed around him.
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Is this post real? I’m appalled and frankly embarrassed for these responses! How many other women can there be in less than 2 years? No parent should be introducing their child to their random flings. There is nothing wrong with being particular about who your child is introduced to! Like you said yourself, you met the others and made sure they were good around your son. Do the same with this girl but make sure he isn’t going to have a different woman next week that he needs to introduce.
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I’m sorry but your feelings against her don’t matter.
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Not to sound rude, but sometimes you have to put your feelings to the side & focus on having a happy baby. 9 times out of 10, she will love him and treat him like her own.
The whole situation is unfortunate and I’m sure you’re in a great deal of pain, which definitely can make it hard to manage things like this you’re not wrong in your feelings about this. The man did you dirty, really dirty. You didn’t deserve that. And now, your heart ache will become his point of anger because “he has a right to see his child” etc, blah blah blah.
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I wouldn’t… You don’t have a court order and if you don’t feel right about it then don’t!
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The answer to all of your questions is yes
You have no say who he has around his child. Just like he has no say about who you have around your child. You may not like it, but that’s his child also and he has just as much right to the child as you do. You may feel some sort of way because he cheated on you with her, but unless she is a danger to the child, let it go. Don’t be a bitter baby mama. Be thankful that your ex wants to be involved with the child. Do you know how many mothers are out there wishing their child’s father was involved?
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You really don’t have much of a choice. If you withhold the child he can just take you to court and most judges aren’t going to care about these feelings you expressed here. Bc it’s not about you, it’s about the child.
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You’re not wrong to feel the way you feel that’s natural , however making the decision to act on how you feel may be wrong . If she’s not bad for your son himself then keeping him from his father because of it could be considered wrong .
Positive thoughts your way sister , I know it can be a tough decision to make. Hugs
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I would feel the same way!!
IDK what would be a good idea… Maybe after they have been together a year or something like that? When it’s actually something serious?? You mentioned other girls, it can’t just be other girls all the time being introduced.
Dispite what everyone is saying, I don’t find you being unreasonable. I say that in regards to the validity of your feelings. She was apart of your trauma and clearly you haven’t healed. With that being said, you are somewhat wrong. Did she know about you when you were pregnant? As long as she is treating your son with care, then there’s no reason she can’t be around him.
Let’s pray he stickse with her and doesn’t confuse your son with to many women … Let him see his son be mature about or else they might think your eating sour grapes… Good luck
Unless there’s actual reason to not be involved in your sons life, let it be. If she’s not unfit or dangerous to your child, you have to set those feelings aside. Although, it sounds like your babydad needs to find stability before introducing these girlfriends to your child. 
I understand the feelings and it’s not wrong to feel a certain way. In time it’ll get easier. Unfortunately you can’t really determine who your son is around when he’s in your ex’s care. My daughter’s father and I don’t have a custody agreement but there was a time I didn’t want her around a certain girl and I could have kept DD and not let him see her but frankly it’s nice to have a break. Also I did insist on talking to her one time but that was because of a comment he made and when she heard it she gave him shit about it right there in front of me. I really do feel like, for the most part, woman can be understanding to each other’s plights.
Unfortunately when you share a child you do not have a say so in what your ex does when they are away from you.
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I don’t see the judgement being put on the girl…your man cheated…he was wrong…so all this anger and hostility you putting towards her should be at him…so direct your anger to the right one…js…and him having his son shouldn’t be taken because he chooses to have a relationship/ life with this women…sounds like your just jelly and using the child as a pawn…Iv let my kids see there dad despite the cheating…and they were around 2 women he got seriously into…I expected him to do his job as a parent before being a bf or whatever to whoever he is dating…but I don’t know the entire situation but I don’t see taking a father and son time away because HE cheated and chose to be with the other women being fair…esp to your son…and I don’t see this anger being taken out on the girl…he cheated…ok HE CHEATED!!! Not her…SOOOO be mad and angry at the man in a relationship that cheated not the girl that prob got fed some bs and involved in yals drama…but she is the dum one for willing to be in a relationship with a known cheater…but that’s her drama know…if he is a good dad…and you know he would protect HIS child from any harm what so ever then don’t take his son away…but not to sound rude the way it’s written out you mad at her because he cheated on you and then chose her so your hurting your ex by keeping his son either out of jealousy or anger but either way I don’t think it’s fair or right for either the father or the son…make decisions for your son not your own decisions based off pain or whatever your issues is with the girl and somehow not your ex…don’t be that horrible baby momma refusing to let your son have a father beacuse he has someone else…unless your child’s in danger or being neglected at his dad’s home or is unsafe…I don’t see the issue…other then you and your miss directed anger…no offense without a court order he could decide one day he don’t like who your dating and refuse to hand your son back to you…without a court order he doesn’t have to… legally he can choose to not give you your son for whatever reason and for it to be over something so small as your ex is in a happy( maybe) relationship with someone not you…don’t be petty or give him reason to be petty…your adults so act like it…there’s nothing wrong with you or your ex moving on and still being good parents…more people to love and look out for that child…don’t refuse a son knowing his father and stir alot of unnecessary drama because your feelings are hurt he is with the girl he cheated on you with…that’s just idk highschool drama…be an adult …a mother and think this out…your son will ask one day…so you really want to tell your son he has no daddy in his life cuz you stopped it cuz daddy was dating a girl he cheated on you with…doesn’t seem like a real reason to keep your son from having a daddy …HIS daddy…
It always amazes me that mothers think they care more about the well being of a child than their father does. Do you get approval from the father for new people you’re exposing the children to, why should he get yours. Sad really
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Is her child also his child
Your only hurting the child.
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I don’t normally comment on post like these. But I was in the same situation but instead of just cheating he also got her pregnant. So here Is my opinion.
- First question is he a good father? Because that answer should be the basis to all your questions and doings.
- If he is a good father regardless weather or not he cheated,lied, whatever as long as he does right by your child( this includes letting others in his life do right by your child) then it should NOT be an issue.
- HE did this to YOU not your child. He cheated on YOU not your child. So with holding your child from time with his father because he cheated on YOU is bitter! Your child happiness and spending time with the other parent is just as important for spending time with you. Regardless what his father did and whom he did it with. That is his choice to choose whom he sees not you.
I know this sucks and hurts so bad. But don’t with hold your child from his father unless it is a danger to his well being under any circumstances. If u want to talk reach to someone.
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If you’re OK with ur son being around other GFs he’s had, but just don’t want him around this one cuz she’s the one he cheated with then, yes, you are just being bitter. Try to let it go.
If he is going to be with her for long time I think you will have to get over your feelings about her. As long as she is good to your child your personal reasons will have to be put to the side.
It’s not wrong to feel how you feel but i think you need to sit down with both of them and tell them both how you feel. Keep lines of communication open. It’s easy to be petty, it’s harder to rise above that and openly communicate and efficiently co parent.
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As someone who has been to court, as long as the girlfriend is not on drugs or a bad person for the child , you can’t control it. My baby daddy started dating the girl he cheated on me with and brought our kids around her and there wasn’t anything I could do. And in my experience it won’t last either
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Would she be good to your son? As long as she would not be harmful to the child then it shouldn’t matter who she is. I would be more concerned with the fact of having him around different women often.
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I’d meet her in person and squash yalls drama and then let her be around your son unless it’s something that will cause him to be in danger.
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Surprisingly these comments are pretty harsh for a mom group. I thought this was suppose to be a safe space for us but I guess not…
I don’t think your being bitter and your feelings are 100% valid. I’ve never been cheated on while pregnant nor do I ever want to experience it. It would be really hard for me not to want to kick his ass every time I see him. However at the end of the day y’all share a child and have to think about that child’s feelings first. It wont be easy at all but just be open and give her a chance. Don’t let them give you a reason to call you bitter!!! Time will heal everything I promise. Who knows a year from now you could all be friends sounds silly now but I’ve seen many families go through similar situations and are able to come from it and raise the child in a loving environment with bonus parents. Again your not being bitter your only human and your feelings are 100% valid. What’s was suppose to be a beautiful time for you was taken away selfishly… And now you have to relive it and it sucks but you will get though this! Just try to be open and kind through this journey and it will pay off for you later! Good luck❤️
I had this same problem. And honestly, I would much rather my son have as many people that love him in his life as possible. Don’t keep your child from that.
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You don’t really get to dictate, he cheated on you, she didn’t and that does not rise to the level of “ she could harm my child”. Grow up
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You are allowed to feel bitter… he did you wrong and so did she…
But your ex is her mistake now… wash your hands of him… he sees your kid thats it. Aslong as shes good to your kid then thats it.
Good riddance
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I wouldn’t withhold the child for visits unless you have serious concerns. Although legally you don’t have to do anything. You can also gently remind him that the visitations are for seeing his child and building a relationship with him. He can see the gf any other time. If he’s only seeing his kid for a short period, you’d think he would want to spend time with him and focus on their time together… It says a lot about him as a person and a father. A lot of these guys only do it for show.
If you want your child to see his dad as much as you say you do, then it’s something you’ll just try to get through for him. In the end, it only hurts the child if you keep them away from the other parent because of something like that.
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The situation sucks, I understand. But yes you are being bitter. Unless you have reason to believe your son is being mistreated or being put in a bad situation by being around her then you have to try and let it go.
As long as his girlfriend respects you and your child, then there shouldn’t be an issue. But you also have to share the same respect towards her and your ex.
You forgave your baby daddy for cheating so why you still mad at her?
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You sound super bitter.
I get it but you have no say.
And with no custody agreement, he can get his son whenever he wants. Legally.
If he’s a good dad, don’t punish your child bc you can’t let go.
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You do sound very bitter, so I’m sure she’s thinks you’re jealous of her and you still want your Bd!! Your child’s father wronged you not her! It’s his job to respect your relationship nobody else’s, hell I’d be happy he’s cheating on someone else and not me lol , move on and leave him be and don’t be a fool and go back!! That confuses the kids and emotional damages them!!! Move on and do better right in front of him!!