So my husband and I are looking for a house to buy. We have been looking for a few months. Well his cousin is selling their house because of a divorce. Well they paid well well below the asking price of it now. Let’s just say they paid $100,000 . Well they told us they would sell for let’s say 150,000 so we are already pre approved for a loan do al we had to do was give the address and schedule a appraisal. Well that next day when we ask when could the guy come and look at the house they went up $5,000 on the asking price. Okay no big deal. We decided we couldn’t afford that. We were pushing it with the $150,000. So we decided we had to pass. Well a few days later they say what about $140,000 and we are so happy and jump on it. But the same thing happened again. When we asked when could the appraisal guy come they decided they wanted back at $155,000. Right after telling us we could buy it for $140,000. I was so upset and frustrated. I was so happy that we were finally gonna close kn a house but they went back up on the price so now we can’t get it. Well then my husband cousin decided to ask if we could help move her out of her house. And I’m over here like no. How do you do your family like that? I’m not helping and I don’t want my husband to help either. But my husband is going to help even after what they did to us. Am I in the right to be upset and not wanting to help. I know sometime our emotions can get in the way but I think I’m more upset with my husband for not being on my side of this. For telling me he doesn’t care how I feel about it he’s helping his cousin.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Drama with buying a house from a family member
Get a real realtor. Someone who draws up papers so if they don’t fulfill their agreement you have legal rights.
We are buying a house for sale by owner and using a lawyer.
Our loan would only cover appraised amount.
They’re not obligated to do anything just cuz you’re family. Go find a different house
Next time they tell you to buy the house for 150 thousand or less. Get a lawyer & sign a legal contract. You guys most likely will get the house. But get a contract first & yes, they can back out. But with a lawyer, that lawyer will make sure it’s done right.
Yup I’d be upset. They wasted ur time.
Yep I’d be mad too. That’s why I refuse to do any kind of business with family
Totally on your side…i wouldn’t help either…dont say 1 thing then back out…then ask for help moving, nope:woman_shrugging:
Someone did that to us when we wanted to buy a house, too 
Yeah I’d be upset, but I also wouldn’t expect them to sell it to me lower than what it’s worth to begin with simply to avoid this kind of stuff period.
They should not have gotten your hopes up and jerked you around for sure.
But ultimately their house, their right to sell it at whatever amount.
But I’d likely be super in my feelings too
Hand him a jar of Vaseline! Evidently he enjoys being screwed! It’s sad his cousin has no honor!!
Don’t buy from family. It’s going to cause problems.
NEVER DEAL WITH FAMILY OR FRIENDS IN REAL ESTATE OR FINANCES. End of story.
What’s wrong with your husband did he fall down a lot ?
It’s shitty. Cut the loss and go. Also always always get a contract done the second you agree. To avoid this. But they sound like shitty people. So lesson learned. Don’t trust them. No helping.
Always bad to mix family in buying something get realtor or go on own it’s his family is choice
I would write them completely off.
I’d be angry that house price went up after a verbal agreement. I wouldn’t help with moving either
Don’t pay for an appraisal until you have them in contract. Even buying without an agent a contract is a very important step. I bought from a family member (super complicated at that) and am willing to answer any questions you have.
I’m petty but I’d definitely be like sure, we’ll be there then ghost. Make them waste a days rental for the moving truck for putting you through it 
Regardless of what the seller wants to sell the house for, the bank will only loan the appraised amount. My daughter went through this, not a family member, but he was asking $175k. It was on the high side for her but it was within 3 miles of me and a great neighborhood so she signed the contract. Lo and behold, it was only appraised at $145k so 6 months ago, she became a first time homeowner.
I wouldn’t be mad at my husband for something like that, people have different family values, don’t be mad at him because his are stronger.
No, he should not have helped her. Maybe if he was his sister or mother, grandmother.
This did not go well.
What a a bunch of jerks. I wouldn’t help them move.
Should have gotten it in writing. An notarized
That’s appalling,move their own damn house in that case
I understand you being mad, I’d be mad too. But, in the end being the bigger person, is priceless. My family is all around drama favoritism greedy people, I am nothing like my family and I honestly can’t stand there ways. I love them because we’ll God chose them for me( it’s how I have to look at it) but I do everything I can to pull my big girl panties up and don’t stop to there level of games.
I say go help her move with your husband, and in the end you will feel good about that, and it’ll make you a stinger human. It’ll also make the cousin have a lil guilt rather it shows or not it’ll be there.
DO NOT BUY FROM THEM! Just imagine all of the issues they will cause once you move into the house you bought from them.
I would buy me a beautiful house elsewhere and leave them with that house. They may end up not being able to sell it right away and it would only serve as justice for them to have to sit and wait.
Get it in writing, or It didn’t happen
Yeah I’d be angry and make it clear you can’t help them because they’re greedy bastards
Tell them you’ll help if they lower the price to 135. 
They say 2 wrongs don’t make a right. Do the right thing and help out, u will b glad u did.
Don’t buy from them. There’s already issues.
Sounds like they were being shady- I wouldn’t want to help them either lol
Try not stew over it. In the end it will hurt you more then it does anyone else. The right house will come along.
Should have went threw a relator then they can’t pull that
I wouldn’t have helped! I would be mad as well!
I think you are a victim of their divorce.
I would never buy a house from family. If they want to keep raising the price then let that house go. I can guarantee that there will be problems with the house and u don’t want all that extra drama
Don’t do business with family. Plain and simple
Id find another house n leave that one alone n help them move
I’d be BIG mad. They are doing that because you are family or they may think you’re desperate. Nope. Let your husband help them move. That’s HIS family. But he’d be going by himself. I wouldn’t even speak to them. Keep your $140,000 and find you something better. It will come.
God will bless you with something better just let that place go and pray for them. They obviously need prayer for doing family wrong. God will bless you with a beautiful home for the right price may not be when you want it but he is always right on time…
I would walk away and look at something different. You will most likely have more problems if you buy from them!
- Never do business with Family.
- Maybe his cousin was trying to sell it for a cheaper price but her husband disagreed.
- Did they go up in price to help with closing costs? Sometimes buyers will pay all of or part of the closing cost.
- Never do business with family.
- For some reason your husband is not bothered by what his cousin did. Maybe he knows more about the situation then you do.
- Never do business with family.
- If you don’t want to help them, it’s understandable. I mean I get it. I wouldn’t want to help her a** either.
But what I would NOT do is try to drive a wedge between my husband and his family. You don’t NEVER have to speak to her again but let your husband do him. If you don’t, it can cause problems in your marriage.
8 ) Did I mention NEVER do business with family?
You never ever do business with family they are the worst
Heck no ir on ur right… I be piss an telling my man he’s the next to a divorce if he even sets foot in that house… Petty people
Lesson learned on not
Doing business with family. If he still wants to help her move, that’s on him. I wouldn’t make if your fight.
I would never talk to those people again. Honestly.
My mother did something similar to this to me.
Do yourself a pat on the back for not buying the house I think something is fishy when Everytime you mentioned having it appraised they would change the price so there could’ve been all kinds of problems,that you don’t need,
Don’t buy it look else where
I would demand information as to the insurance company, and policy number, BEFORE HELPING to move this cousin, just in case you get hurt??
There’s no way in Hell that I would be helping, after the way you were treated !!
Happiness starts by removing toxic people, be it family or friends— and contracts are not overrated-- learn by your mistakes. Family has a tendency to gaslight-- be careful. Its ok to state you will help, but shit happens and sometimes your own life and family, come first.
You don’t have to buy from them, but regardless of anything I’d help my cousin move. Can’t even make myself not do it
Don’t do business with family 
Your not wrong to feel upset. But reacting the way you are is wrong. Your taking it so personal when it might not of been. This is what happens when you deal with family everything gets personal. You would be a fool to let this effect your family. It’s a lesson learned. Move on. It wasn’t kind or nice but it was probably out of there control and or not in there best interests. Your supposed to be family you should atleast understand that and yes it’s alot to ask but you are family and you love each other it should be easy to say I won’t let a silly up down conversation about a house effect our entire future family relationship. You are allowed to be hurt frustrated and upset but it is not there responsibility to take that on whilst dealing with there own traumatic situation. (Divorce is traumatic for everyone) if you want to.make them aware how it effected you it’s a sit down conversation where it’s talked about to resolution not to hurt and make them feel as you did. Goodluck. In real life I’d say oh well, is what it is, find a new house, love your cousins and stop being petty. Because one day they might be there for you in return. xxx goodluck hun it’s sound like a hard situation to deal with and I would feel hurt, let down and frustrated also.
Should have signed a purchase agreement. Then it’s legally binding. If buying a house from family, you treat it as any other home buying experience and get everything in writing, dot your i’s and cross your t’s. You can do one up yourself, but you’re better off having a real estate broker draw up all the paperwork.
My parents were the first to own a home away from the city where all their families lived in rented homes. When my parents outgrew their first suburban home they decided to sell it and move to a bigger home. One of their younger siblings and their spouse asked for first dibs on buying my parents’ house. At first everyone was happy because they eliminated realtor costs. But what happened was that the younger siblings took a long time to seal the deal while my parents patiently waited and waited! It cost my parents a lot of extra time and $ waiting for them to get their act together. Finally my parents gave them a deadline to decide and guess what? The younger siblings got cold feet! At first my parents were ticked for the time and $ they lost but then they quickly signed up with a realtor and sold their house for much more $ than they ever would have made selling to family! So lesson learned! Never mix $ and family! Be patient! Another home with no bad karma is out there for you! And as far as helping the cousin move, you don’t have to participate but you also need to step away from telling hubby not to help. It’s his family. One day of helping his family is not going to break you guys. Surely this divorce has his cousin’s world turned upside down. Hope this helps.
I would probablly help but never ever do business with them.
Your husband is wrong for not being on your side and tell your so called husband to choose you or the con artist cousin
Fuck no. They want to put you through all of that then have the gulls to ask for help. Say yes for 5000 you’ll help
Good luck….I would tell anyone if you don’t have to buy from family DON’T. It’s not a fun ride….
Agree with Nicole Greene above 
. Never do business with family.
My late Husband always said don’t do business with Family and close friends
Never do business with family. This is why
Yeah… I feel your pain but maybe you could see how your “cousin” gifting you 10000k or whatever the real amount is, 30k, 60k? is a bit of a stretch? She/he has family too. Would you feel comfortable asking them to out of the blue gift you this money?
Because that’s basically what you’re saying here.
“You’re such a jerk for not gifting me thousands of dollars to help me out!”
And don’t think that I’m not sympathetic to families desperately looking for a home that they can afford. I really am. I see it every day and it breaks my heart and believe it or not sometimes keeps me up at night.
But your accusation isn’t fair. What it boils down to is “I asked my cousin to gift me thousands of dollars to help me out and she said no. She’s a jerk, I won’t help her move!”
Maybe they didn’t because the house has lots of issues and they were seeing. if yall would just buy it with no inspector for the lower price. Think of it as a blessing in disguise
The cousin is clearly trying to save you from buying something he or she think it’s not worth it but can’t tell you because of the divorce.
Be proud of your hubby he is showing he is a true family orientated man who will help even thou feel hurt.
Never do business with Fam. NEVER
If your married you are a team. You stick be each other no matter what. If you say no to him helping then he shouldn’t have helped them. Sounds like he doesn’t have your back.
They weren’t obligated to sell to you for your benefit. It was their home and if they were trying to stick to a price out of your budget, you should have passed on the first failed attempt. Maybe they were trying to make it work, but after closing costs it went up. It really isn’t something to shut family out over. Our families are not obligated to help us out. They really aren’t.
Never never never do business with family it usually always turns out ugly.
Hard to swallow. I’d probably be like you but sometimes it’s better to take the high road.
Tell him he can only help her move if he spills a bunch of gasoline through it and lights a match on his way out
Nope. I wouldn’t help.
Never mix family and business it’s the worst deal ever made my grandpa use to tell us girls growing up
Because they are dumb asses don’t mean you have to be, go help A little, and next time the day $140,000, no not today give you $130,000
Going up & down on price isn’t nice. But I think you’re confused on how buying a house works. They bought it for $100k but in reality they paid a lot more for it. If it’s not paid off they probably owe more than 150k to pay it off. Plus they may have put a lot of money into it since they bought it. Maybe they said $140 because it’s better than nothing but then got an offer for $150 so they asked you for $155. No matter your asking price or offer the bank isn’t going to let you buy it for more than the appraisal. You have the right to be frustrated. But not mad. It’s business. As for hubby helping them move they’re still family. He’s able to seperate business & family. Thats his choice to help. Personally I’d be mad. But I let my emotions control me 
It’s there house. They don’t owe you a special price. It’s their property. You have no right to be upset for them wanting a certain amount for their property.
And never do business with family
Maybe you feel a little anxious because you just want a house already? Blessing in disguise? Let him help them, the high road is always the right road in the long run. Don’t make waves in your marriage over it.
Hell no id disown him thats so dirty
You don’t have to help, but your husband is a grown man with his own mind and own opinions and that’s HIS family. You can’t hold it against him if he helps, that’s his time and he can do what he wants with it. Just because you’re married doesn’t mean you automatically agree on every Situation or go about it the same way.
Family is in no way obligated to sell you their house especially for a much lower price than what it is worth. Even if they paid 5$ for the house… it’s their house. If it’s appraised for 500k then they have every right to ask 500k even if they paid 5$ for it. I know you were excited and got your hopes up, but they’re still not obligated to go down on price to meet your budget either or because you’re family. You should help them just the same as if you weren’t ever thinking about buying their house.
The house was probably listed over 100k, and closing costs and the money THEY put into it totaled out to 150k. They probably offered you 140, and closing costs came to that 155k. Sales tax sucks and everything listed at that price, really isn’t that price. 
Never mix family with business it just doesn’t work out the majority of the time. I would not help either
There’s a reason why the appraisal was 5k over your husband’s cousins asking price. Like, there’s a reason for this. Maybe you don’t understand, but the cousin would be losing out on money that was from HIS home and now he has to find a NEW home. Family isnt obligated to sell shit cheaper just because it’s family. Your husband helping out his cousin is what family does, and good for him, because he’s helping his blood and you’re doing what?
Contract, contract, contact! As a real estate agent my best advice no matter if it’s family or not make sure to have a contract to avoid issues like this. Put everything in writing and make sure all parties sign. And when in doubt find an agent to work with in your area. They can help you find something in your price range. It’s their job to make sure you are represented when buying a home and to help you in situations like this.
Get over it. Why get such hard feeling over it.
I mean if he wants to help then he can. He is probably trying to smooth over potential family drama. Buttttt I understand why you are upset. You are totally valid. I personally would say if you want to help fine but I am parking my butt at home. It is going to be a relaxing movie day with all the snacks for me! Lol.
Hope the cousin is moving far away. I’d cut them off for that. I’d be pissed more at you husband. Tell her to hire movers with the extra money she sucked out of another poor victim.
Just because they got a good deal on the house doesn’t mean they should take a loss in profit for you. They both have to agree on the price and you sed they are getting a divorce so they probably aren’t agreeing on a lower price. They would only be making a profit of 40,000 and they have to split that. Your not looking at it from there point of view only yours. It’d not worth it to sell to you if they can make more with another buyer. And your husband doesn’t need your permission to help family and you shouldn’t be petty because you didn’t get what you wanted. That’s literally how life works. You’ll find a house, just not that one.
Next time get it in writing.
It’s ok to help, but be grateful you didn’t get to buy . Probably would be a problem to get them out!
You have every right to be upset with the cousin. It’s understandable that you’re irritated with your husband as well. But you can’t make his decision for him. You decided for yourself not to go help and that’s ok. Let him also decide for himself whether he wants to help. He probably doesn’t want this to come between him and his cousin, and that’s also understandable. Just don’t do business with the cousin and let things get back to more normal. Don’t hold it against your husband for not wanting a rift between him and his family.
I told my husband that I did not want to buy his family home and he didn’t listen to me. Everything that I knew was going to happen happened. I kicked his sister out because they were dirty and didn’t look after the house. Then his mother moved back in after we had great tenants looking after the house and it was looked after and clean. His mother moved in again and same problems again a Uncle moved in and damaged the garage and my husband said don’t go into the garage and I did hello a mess. I am not there for your family to stomp on me and think I am a idiot born yesterday. His younger brother wanted to buy the house cheap as cheaper than what we paid for it and we had put our own money and time into the house. I told his family no I am selling your family home because it was never mine. My husband lied to me told me he was selling the house and he lied to me.