I need to vent/advise on how to handle this situation since, obviously, the way I handled it this year is an issue. So I’ve been a mom now for six years and haven’t had one mother’s day to myself. It is always done for my husband’s mom. For example, last year, we went to her house, and I watched my husband and his brother dig holes and plant her trees for 6 hours. Mind you; she lives 11/2 away. For those 6 hours, I got stuck watching everyone’s kids. Every other year is either traveling to where ever she wants to eat, which is always up to her way. So this year, she picked a place 2 hours away, so I calmly said to my husband I’m sorry, but I’m not going this year. Of course, that turned into a big fight. He claims I’m a mom every day and here with my child every day and that his mom does not see her children every day. My response was, we saw your mom two weeks ago for her birthday. Every holiday we have to travel to do it with our mom, your mom has had over 30 years of mother days I’ve been a mom for six years and haven’t had a say or got to plan what I wanted to do for mothers day and I’m sick of it. So yep, this year I stayed home by myself for 6 hours. They recently got home, and of course, it’s shower then bed for my child for school tomorrow, and there goes my whole mother’s day. His response was, well, you got what you wanted. I paid for you to pick up your pizza for dinner. How would you handle it? Did I do it wrong? Am I in the wrong for wanting one mother’s day for myself?
No you are not in the wrong. This is your day too! Maybe next time yall could celebrate with her the day before?
Once you got married, it’s about you. His mom deserves a gift
You should’ve had a mom friend and went out for a girls day! I would’ve. I’d be pissed. Like I’m the mother of your children you should be celebrating me! 
My SOs mom lived 20 hours away. So we have no issues
He sounds like a prick, to be honest. He MADE you a mom, it should be about celebrating you.
Honestly I don’t like holidays for this reason.
Heeellllllll no! We send my MIL flowers every year, and my husband makes it about me!
You’re not wrong for wanting it, but making your husband choose between you and his mom is a no win situation.
I think you should be allowed to enjoy the day as you see fit🤷🏻♀️
Maybe instead of being home alone for 6 hrs you should’ve gone someplace a pampered yourself…and start making your own mother’s day tradition for yourself and your baby.
You are not wrong. However, what are his thoughts on Father’s Day? Does he get to have a day about him? I think that it just needs to be fair on both sides so maybe that’s where there is confusion. You are not wrong to want to be celebrated because you are “mom” too and are in the middle of raising your young family. You deserve some spoiling for a day!
My husband does something for his mom and me every year, your husband needs a wake up call…his mother isn’t the only mother anymore in your family
Plan a day for yourself and go out with your mom friends. If she wants to spend time with her kids and grandkids for Mother’s Day bye see y’all 
I’m going to the spa on him
Maybe next year spend Saturday with his mom and then actual mother’s day doing what you want to do.
He gets to be dad everyday so I’d assume he doesn’t want to celebrate Father’s Day then. 
So when we got married we ci times going to parents home on holidays etc and one year we were just both exhausted and decided together to call everyone and let them know we weren’t coming. Talk abt anger and guilt trips but that just caused us to cancel all holidays that year and we loved it! We started our own traditions. We did whatever we wanted with our kids. Christmas lunch? Ha we eat bread and ham or turkey all day nothing else. Birthdays? We do cake and ice cream no singing no candles we just pig out and open presents. New year? We fall asleep by 10 and when the fireworks wake us up we hubs and I kiss each other happy new year and our kids sleep though completely. It’s our family and we started our own traditions 11 years ago and never looked back. We want to spend time with other relatives but we choose a sunday everyone is home and do a potluck. All is happy and well with that
No reason he couldn’t of made it about you both. Send his mom a gift, celebrate with her the weekend after…etc. You deserve to be celebrated… It’s your special day too…
For starters, my child would of stayed home with me. If my husband wants to be with his mom, that’s fine. But MY children are going to be with THEIR mom. And he can suck it if he wants to throw a temper tantrum. He would of had 2 jobs at that point… getting mad and getting over it.
Mothers Day should be handled the way YOU want to handle it. It’s your day. If you want to celebrate it with just your household then do so.
Everybody here needs to find a healthy middle ground your husband and MIL I need to both realize that the day can’t be 100% about her, it needs to be shared between the both of you because you are BOTH the mothers in his life.
I understand celebrating your own mother but you need to also celebrate the mother of YOUR children! And your mom in law should be celebrating the mother of HER grandchildren instead of only herself!
You married a child. I feel for you but if he wants to run to mommy for everything, send him back to mommy for good
I notice when you start doing things without them , they pay attention. Expressing yourself doesn’t always work. Next year invite your family over and have a bbq. Invite his mom and if she declines then tell your husband to have a good day 
It may or may not work, but at least you had some bomb food!
Oh hell to the no! She’s not the only mother, here. If she is so interested in traveling, she can travel herself right on over to your house if it’s such a big deal to see her son and grandkids. If she doesn’t make the effort, then there’s no reason your entire family should have to. Or. Tell your husband he can go since it’s his mom. By himself. Leave the kids home and enjoy your time with them. If he wants to throw a temper tantrum about it, then tell him to go live with his mommy.
Shes obviously older than you, she’ll probably be gone before you so you deal with it. 
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I went through this just this past Mothers Day. But mind you we rented a cabin for our moms for the weekend after cause unfortunately they were booked this past weekend. So we celebrated our time on actual Mothers Day. We have 3 kids together. Well after we done our thing because we had reservations for them his mom messaged me and said she wasnt staying in the cabin. Of course I asked why and made sure nothing was seriously wrong. Of course nothing was wrong she said he chose me over her when it should have been all about her that day that my kids are small and I didnt deserve a Mothers Day. She said we needed better morals. I was completely confused because we had all just discussed spending the whole weekend together with my mom and his. My mom didn’t say anything. She was just happy to go stay in a cabin and get away for the weekend.
Father’s day should be a BIG SURPRISE for him
You have every right to want a Mother’s Day for you. You’re a mom too and deserve to be celebrated just as much as his mom is. You have every right to feel the way you do 
I guess I have an unpopular opinion but I think you’re over reacting. I never have an all about me day. Mother’s Day we spend as a family.
I think you were right
Don’t do anything for him on father’s day. You’re totally valid for feeling that way you deserve to be appreciated
I must be the only one who’s partner couldn’t care less about his self entitled so called mother 
If it were my children would not of went either.
Your the mama, she is too, but it sounds like he’s a mommy’s boy, stand your ground, but maybe talk to him in advance next time, explaining how you feel and what YOU want. Sorry you have a Jerkasouras as a bf you deserve better
I would have kept the kids with me🤷♀️
I told my children to celebrate with their families as they are mother’s and deserve this day with just their families. We will be celebrating as a big family this upcoming weekend.
He sounds like a big mommas boy! Tell him to cut the cord! Big baby!
I wonder if there can’t be two days to celebrate? Saturday you, Sunday her? That’s how we sort of do it here.
Not at all.But the kids should have stayed with you so you could have done something togeather for the day.
Your husband is 100% wrong! When you marry you are supposed to put your wife first. I can’t believe he is that much of a Mama’s boy! I’m sorry but I’m pissed for you🤬
We have it worked out over the years my sons In Laws and myself we have a family celebration on Saturday and Sunday laugh and call it “slave day” cause he waits on her!! Everyone is happy!!!
Next yr. He can celebrate with his mom and you & your mom can have a girls day, let him take the kids so she gets her day and you can enjoy your mom day
It should be about BOTH of you. You should both get flowers and gifts and be treated amazing that day!
Thankfully my daughter lives close enough to me and to her in laws that she spends half a day with them and half a day with us. This is how we do all the holidays.
Why didn’t the kid stay with you?
Your husband needs to grow up and put you first.
We spend mothers day as a family and hubby worked the last 2 mothers days so he purchased flowers in advance or a had a gift sitting out for when I wake up with our son.
How I avoid any issues with in-laws because I didn’t at first but now I do the way I have already is the day before a major holiday Weatherby Mother’s Day Father’s Day whatever kind of holiday the day before I celebrate it with my husband and kids then on the actual holiday we celebrate with the in-laws that way everyone happy.
No you did nothing wrong that’s messed up you never get to have a say or plan what you all do on Mother’s Day
Grandmas are not around forever
I do NOT celebrate my mother in law for Mother’s Day LOL. She’s not my mom. I celebrate my mom either the day before or a few days after. I encourage my husband to go see his mom but I do not. I also encourage him to bring the kids bc 9 years and 4 kids later I WANT ALONE TIME for Mother’s Day. 
I don’t want to mom at all. Every other day I am the main caretaker. So no, I don’t think you were wrong. I think he should’ve gotten you a gift and flowers too! You don’t have to be the babysitter at every function and you don’t have to go to his moms every time too. I don’t blame you.
Regardless if he a mommas boy or not … that his mum. And yes ,you are also. Imo I would have went BUT also communicated before all this what it is I NEED and how I’m feeling.
Throw the whole family away. Next year do Mother’s Day YOUR way- hire a sitter call the girls and do girls stuff —- he can go live with his mother
I’d be pissed. He’s wrong in this. If anything alternate the years. But mother’s day in my family, it’s about all the mom’s. There’s no focus on 1 mom. Every mom gets flowers. And gifts. Or we sit back and the men bbq. But you are 100% right. For father’s day, I wouldn’t even be around. Make it a you day. Go get ur hair and nails done. See how he likes it.
I don’t feel like you were in the wrong. Mothers day is about you too. Maybe you guys can compromise and do one person on Saturday and the other on Sunday.
Good job putting your foot down mama!!
It’s just a day…spend it the next day or day before if it’s a big deal…
You did nothing wrong by wanting it about you too. You should have treated yourself on your day and I hope you did!!!
He needs to make time for you both. You both deserve to be treated well.
I wish I wasn’t 12 hours from my mother in law. I would have loved to have split the day between her and my mom. We are family and all three of us are mothers. It’s not just about one of us 
Nope, id be telling him if he can’t make time for me and only his mum than to go stay with her and have her look after the self absorbed wanker.
He’s right, you’re a mum everyday and haven’t gotten to be acknowledged by the sounds of it at all. Does he even appreciate everything you’d do not just for the kids but him? Sometimes I think they forget they’d be fucken lost without us, my spouse doesn’t even know how to use the washing machine 
You could suggest that he goes to his mothers and you and your kids can celebrate together. It’s not grandmothers day
I would tell him to make plans with her the weekend before Mothers day and celebrate with him going an
I would be really sad if my son didn’t see me on Mother’s Day.
He and my DIL don’t have children yet but I’d still hope to see him.
I’d be willing to work with her and agree on dinner plans or whatever.
Every Mothers Day weekend, we visit my mil and take gifts to her. However, my husband makes Mothers Day about me. I never want her to feel left out, which is why I help pick out things she loves. He doesn’t want the day to not be special for me, so he goes all out for me. I think balance is important.
Should be about both I either do Mother’s Day early for my mom because her work schedule we are always home my mil comes over I do how ever tell my husband if he wants to spend more Mother’s Day with his mom he can but I’m spending mine with my kids
Well, father’s day is coming up. Do nothing for him that day. Take off with a friend or family member and leave the kids to celebrate with him
We moms all celebrate together with a carry out meal or the guys can cook
It should be about both of you. We spend the morning with my husbands mother, and then he spends the rest of the day with me and our children at home! You could also switch what times are for you and time for your mother in law! One year I had the morning with my husband and kids and we went to my mother in laws for dinner!
He’s definitely wrong. Her old ass had her time it’s yours now 
Its nice and all but like he could just mail her a gift and put you ahead of her like how it’s supposed to be.
Sounds like you could really benefit from this practice:
But 6 glorious hours to yourself? GIRL! Sounds like a new tradition to me!
Our JP gave us this from the bible the day we got married. As they saw first hand how my MIL can be over bearing. My husband put it on the fridge as a reminder I come first. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.”
I mean for my mother’s day I kicked my husband & 4 kids out TO his mothers for the ENTIRE day…it was a lovely quiet MUCH needed day off.
Im not doing shit im a mom too i deserve to celebrate mother’s day
No you’re not wrong ! Fuck that, next year either keep the kids with you and give them money a few days prior to make or buy you a Mother’s Day present or take the day to relax.
I would give my mother in law Mother’s Day ten times over and over. That women is amazing AF and treats me like her own. I would much rather celebrate her.
It is a day. There is nothing written in stone. Do the weekend before or the weekend after for you. Better choice anyway. Don’t get to go an overpacked, restaurant with stale food. So pick a day to be your Mother’s Day.
Let him think about it a while he may realize the problem if you just drop it. Men Go in a cave and think by them selves.
Put your foot down. Go see his mother the day before Mother’s Day. Tell him you are a mother too! You want to celebrate you for once! You deserve to be pampered too!
This is my post to answer a few of the questions here it goes…
No I did not get any gifts from him just the pizza I had delivered. I asked him if we could do his mom’s birthday since it was 2 weeks before mother’s day and make it a birthday/mother’s day outing so traveling wouldn’t happen and I could actually go and do a outing with him and my child for mother’s day. His mother refuses to travel for mother’s day or any holidays unless if a family member rents out a hall or the restaurant. If anyone on his side of the family tries to back out of a holiday or mother’s day or her birthday she will call that person 20 times screaming and yelling. The whole family on his side caterers to her wishes just so they don’t deal with her attitude. I’ve tried for the last 4 years to plan it on different days since where she moved to we always hit a hour of traffic so that 1 1/2 trip turns into almost 3 hours. She also had the biggest fit about us moving 15 mins away from her old house but with her moving she wouldn’t allow anyone to complain.
There needs to be balance. I would give anything for my fiancé’s mother to still be alive. But Mother’s Day is for mothers and that is his mother. I am not justifying him and his actions but putting it into perspective. You want your kids to still do something special even if it’s just coming over for dinner when they’re grown right?? (I certainly do, after all I raised them for x amount of years.) should he be making the WHOLE day about her? Absolutely not!! Maybe next year try and suggest a Mother’s Day brunch with his mom and your family together, and then tell him you want to do something as a family just you guys the second half of the day.
Alternate each year.
Can be some pros to this. But ultimately if he wants to look after his mum on mother’s day why not? I’d talk to my son about how well his dad trwats his own mum on mother’s day ! Then let dad be and go celebrate with your little one since you are his mama. Or not. Go pamper yourself doing whatever it is you enjoy for 6+ hours.
Then on Father’s day, get hubby a pizza and go see ya dad. Or go out and do whatever it is you want.
Jesus why is there so much crap around this day … unpopular opinion your the mother of YOUR CHILDREN not your HUSBAND! I absolutely can not imagine being mad at my husband for wanting to spend the day with his mother … you should be with yours and your children should be with theirs meet at the end and enjoy each other.
You make a fun plan for you and the kiddo and go do it. He can go to his moms and have a crap time when she badgers him why you aren’t worshipping at her feet. Start making your own traditions! With or without the sack of potatoes that can’t be without his mommy.
Been this way for me for almost 25 years of being a mom
I wish my mother in law was still here to celebrate Mother’s Day with. Pick your battles. Did things work out the way you wanted spending the day alone??? I would give anything to have my mother in law here to celebrate with. This is your husband’s mother.
Your obligation is to YOUR mother.
You’re not wrong for being upset. It’s great he wants to celebrate his mom but you are absolutely right you are a mother too and deserve to celebrate in your way too. He should find a compromise or find a way to make it special for both of you. Good for you for staying home. The only thing I would have done different is kept my kid home and made it special for us.
Holidays can be difficult to make everyone happy. My mother in laws birthday is on Valentine’s Day which was difficult but made it work. My poor husbands birthday is day before Mother’s Day he often gets overshadowed by Mother’s Day. I would suggest maybe split the day. Or see if you and mother in law can agree on something you both want to do for Mother’s Day. Or celebrate Mother’s Day before. Your husband is torn and it’s hard to feel insignificant but try your best to figure out a way to make everyone enjoy it. It’s about compromising and making sure everyone feels special.
He should feel like crap for leaving you alone. When you get married your spouse is a above your family. Period. You should be probably more mad than you are.
I would give anything for my mother in law to be alive and be able to spend mother’s day with her
Oh heckssss no. Your fine. He and his mom need to grow up. She got him for however many years that he was a child just as you should get with your child.
No once you become a mother it’s about you.
Why can’t your husband and child spoil you for 1 meal on mothers day.
And his mum for the other.
Bugger that.
Make plans for you and Your child you birthed your child it’s about you.
Let hubby worship his mother without you and your child.
Mothers day is about you and your child.
I mean do you worship your father on fathers day or do you make a big deal about your child’s father ?
Been there. Been a mom 11 yes and still have yet to have a mother’s day about me. Not even blast made. I’ve giving up.
Then he can spend time with his mom and you can spend time with your kids. Let him go to his moms on mother’s day and you keep the kids with you on mothers day.
He should celebrate both of you. You never know how much time people will be on this earth so you have to appreciate and love them while they are here. That being said if he isn’t good at planning things for you, plan something for yourself and enjoy time with your child.
I would love six hours to
Myself. Lol. Honestly you could have planned something and said oh no honey I already booked so and so for such and such if you wanted it to be like a celebration. Knowing that your expected to go to his mother in laws. Problem is she might not be around forever and maybe it’s the way you look at it. Sometimes I felt like this with my own mom. She is my mom though and we went there before the kids and she loves the grandkids. So hugs. You got six hours alone.
Fuck no. You should have kept your kids for mother’s day. Let him go be with his mom by himself and his siblings. Why did he takes the kids? It’s not grandma’s day.
She’s not your mother… but his. Also you’re a mother that is being ignored on her day… balance for all. Spend a little time everywhere or everyone meet up somewhere it’s convenient for all.
I do see you point and how that’s hurtful. However I’m also someone who has lost both my mom and my husbands mom and I wish we had them here. With that being said you shouldn’t come second. maybe you and you’re mother in law could sit down and plan something together that y’all would both enjoy. Make a day of it and let the husbands and kids make the day about both of y’all. It shouldn’t be a competition and you should be made to feel less than.
It’s insane to me that husbands don’t treat their wives special on mother’s day… I mean it’s just common sense, she’s the mother of your child… do something special for her.you have ever right to be mad