I am a single mom of two boys, 12 and 15 years old. I have primary care, and dad has every second weekend. Before the Christmas break I had an argument with my oldest (he has decided that he is transgender and now prefers to dress as a girl) I didn’t take it too well at first, but I am now trying just to be supportive. It was just a shock at first. He took off and went to his dad’s and did not come home for a month. His dad just kept him, and I’m sure they influenced him to stay. Dad and his family talk really poorly about me to the kids. This has done my job to parent them pretty much impossible. My kids swear at me and now threaten just to take off (to their dads)if I try to put any rules in place… They have been taught that they don’t need to ask me for anything and just come and go as they please. Dad and his family make plans with them and pick them up without me knowing, usually when I’m at work. They communicate to me through the kids regarding any plans, and even then I’m not being asked, I’m being told what’s happening. They are both in counseling. My oldest was suspended from school yesterday for fighting, and I tried to talk to him calmly about it after work. Immediately he threatened to just take off to his dads if I tried to ground him or take his devices away. (He is also only passing one class in high school) If he takes off to his dad’s, can I ask that he be returned? Their dad is also trying to influence the boys to live with him instead, anytime he wants extra time with the boys I let them go, now I feel like that’s all just been subtle manipulation. He begs to keep them an “extra day or night,” and I always cave… for the kids. Now I see it’s all just a game. I’m so frustrated. Dad also calls our youngest every day, and I’ve caught him lying about me to him. I feel like he’s trying to put them against me. I’ve talked to dad repeatedly about their behavior, and I’ve been told from the boys that he says I must have done something for them to behave badly. Dad says that when he talks to them, he doesn’t need to report back to me about anything. Everything is a fight, and I’m exhausted.
Well if he takes off and you have primary custody you get the papers and go to his house with the police. And honestly you need to get a tour set up with dh… Or call the police for him being obedient I know parents don’t want to but sometimes you gotta.
Let them go to dad’s permanently. Buh-Bye!
Is he only supposed to have them every second weekend? Is that in writing through the court? If the father keeps the children longer than that like a month like in the past, that is illegal and you can call the cops.
The father has to abide by rules of the court or else it’s illegal so go court if you haven’t already!
Let them go & tell them they cannot come back unless they want to follow the rules🤷🏾♀️
Parent of 29 yrs, raised 3 to adulthood, whoooo Teenagers huh, yeah NOT MY FAVORITE PART, my advice Pull thier cards mom, Pack them up and personally deliver them to Dad. When the P/T parent gets a taste of what it’s like to parent FULL TIME and starts laying down some rules be prepared for the phone call BEGGING you to come get em!!! Wouldn’t tell ya to do anything I Haven’t been through myself sweetie, Trust me THEY WILL BE BACK LOL
Also do yourself a favor and start keeping a record of things. Text the father instead of calling to keep a paper trial of responses
My ex husband would have done anything to hurt me, they don’t care if they drag the kids into it! Let them go to their fathers then! If they don’t want to follow your rules and show you no respect! LET THEM GO!They will eventually see the truth! What a Jerk!
First of all to be truly supportive and understanding and respectful of your oldest “son” you need to use the right pronouns. I know it’s hard but it’s the first step you now have a daughter and a son. Imagine being in your oldest’s head and what kind of turmoil and bravery that took to do. Have you sat down and really talked to your oldest about this decision? Second of all, If you are having issues with the father you need to get the court involved so there are clear boundaries. It’s seems as if you have allowed yourself to be a doormat and now aren’t being taken seriously. You have given up your time with your children that you can’t get back and you have have set the standard. To change that play hardball but be the bigger parent. You can always say I know your father says negative things about me and it’s your choice to listen if you want but I’m not going to do that. We are all still a family.
Honestly if your kids want to go live at their dads, let them. Believe me I wouldn’t like my kids moving to their dad’s but it will give them a chance to realize the reality of the situation in the long run. Never let your child threaten you with leaving because then you need to hand them a suitcase and say if they feel so much better with their dad then go and find out because you’re the parent not them so you should. Be giving them ultimatums and not the other way around. They will realize down the line that their dad was only acting a certain way just to get them to move in so it can hurt you he’s not doing it for the kids he’s doing it to destroy you your feelings so I would say just let your children live with him for some time and they will realize themselves that you were the one that always took care of them and was there or did the most for them because hes only playing the good guy for now just wait when he has the kids longer…that facade with fade eventually. Just my opinion.
let them go to their dads if they dont want to be under your rules in your home then tell em to f off
Then they would go permanently, until they could respect you…
Honestly I would sit down with the boys and have a blunt honest conversation about your rules and your expectations. If they don’t agree to them then let them go live with their Dad. As old as they are there is no simple fix. You have already lost control.
Let them go and live there permanently. They are growing up and they will soon realize that it was just you trying to love them all along. You need your peace too
They are teens or close to it. Maybe it would be good for them at this age to live with their dad for a bit.
Let them go once they’re there im sure he would wanna go back with you.
Give them their freedom…if they want to go to Dad give them permission to go…But…they can not come home unless they live under your rules…you have lost control of them and at their age let them try to be the boss…Dad’s may not be as nice when they do not have an option…Think of your self…as they age you have to let control go anyway…start now
Let them go to their dads, they will soon find out the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
Were you and dad married before? Because I know here when divorcing and there are children together. Both parents are required to go to a court appointed parenting class. One of the biggest issues they point out is one parent demeaning the other parent in front of or too the child. Nor allow anyone around your child to do so. Not allowed to try and take the love that child has for that parent in any way. Not to fight through the kids and so on. And if that happens the “innocent” parent can file contempt charges. It can result in jail time and or fines. If you weren’t married I’m pretty sure since the issues can’t be agreed upon by both parents you can request a guardian ad litem.
Pack their things and send them on their way. They won’t leave once they see you don’t “care” about them leaving but make it clear if they stay it’s on your terms not theirs. Experience giving advice
Sounds like dad’s manipulating them. I’m guessing he probably pays child support too. Probably trying to get the boys to chose to live with him. Doesn’t sound like a good plan. Those boys need structure with the love. They know if you discipline them they don’t have to take it & run to Dad. He’s not looking out for their best interest or he would be on board with you. Can you prove he’s not in their best interest. If so bring it to court. Never give up on your kids. I can’t believe some of this advice. If they start any type of abuse towards you that’s different, good luck. Maybe talk to a lawyer about your rights.
My 2 grandsons did the same shit to my daughter all but the transgender thing an she pack them up an handed them to their dad she gave as much child support as she got witch is 50 a week not a penny more got boys every 3rd weekend an a call for 10 min a day well this lasted 2 mo before dad wanted the boys to move back with her an 4 mo before the boys wanted to move back she stood her ground for 1 yr now they are back well behaved go to school ect no more flap from x or his family
Trying to persuade the child by talking bad about the other parent is illegal…Each state varies, age has some to do with the rights child has…Not returning child under a court set visitation schedule could be considered kidnapping…
Communication with all involved and best interest of children health and well being the deciding factor. Use the court order and not being vindictive.teach the children to respect authority and accept responsibility…
One parent cannot achieve it alone…Being there friend only makes it worse…
If parties involved are honestly looking out for their child’s best interest then your situation wouldnt be…
Those are really trying years with teens, anyway. Start at home and make a responsibility and privilege contract. As much as they will fight you, they, and you need to make the house rules and rewards for following the house rules. What are their responsibilities other than going to school, doing their home work and making passing grades? Keeping their rooms clean and their laundry done? What are their rewards for faithfully observing these “house rules”. I suggest an allowance. The payment for and maintenance for their devices is a definite perk. We had boys 2 years apart who are now 49 and 51 years old, and, guess what/ They use the old R & P method with their kids.
It could cost someone there visitation if the cannot support proper growth and development of the children… document it all.
Report issues to family court or law inforcement…letting it go shows many things…most important kids are learning they dont have to respect authority…
Dad isn’t going to help obviously. He thinks he is the better parent. Stop fighting him. Let them go for awhile. Just don’t do the back and forth thing. The boys are just learning to play you both.
On the other hand, even if their behavior doesn’t improve at their dads, he will still blame you anyway.
You have two options… Let them go and demand that they show respect and follow rules to come back. Make it clear that you have their best interest in mind and you are doing your best. The second option is to stick to the parenting schedule and report any discrepancies to the proper courts. Even if that means reporting the children to authorities as a runaway.
It is tough. My son is 13, taller than me, out weighs me, and is stubborn to the max. If he doesn’t want to do something, then he usually doesn’t. Last year I told him he has two options: follow the rules, or go live with Dad. He left for 2 weeks and begged to come home. My stipulation was counseling, a physical activity to release tension (baseball and basketball), and to stay out of the school office for bad behavior. After that, he got in trouble once and was almost hysterical when he called home. He asked for any punishment other than to tell Mom. That’s when I realized that he really had learned his lesson and over the last year he has had a complete turn around. Now he respects me as a parent but talks to me like a best friend.
Children of all ages need stability. And no matter how grown they think they are, it’s your job to be the adult. And you cannot control the other parent. It’s never easy, but so very rewarding when done right.
If there are court documents stating that he only gets them every other weekend for a set time I would abide by them with no wiggle room. If they start asking why tell them it’s due to their unacceptable behavior. If they just take off with him unannounced I would call the police with the court documents and have them go get him. There isn’t any wiggle room with the documents unless you let there be wiggle room. If he can’t get them. He doesn’t get them. If he’s late picking them up you don’t have to let them go. If he can’t get them where they need to be for school activities and such they don’t go. If he’s late with no notification when dropping them off you’re in your rights to call the police on him. It’s a cut and dry system. As far as your oldest thinking he’s transgender. Is he really or is he just looking for attention? I’d have a serious heart to heart with him to try and figure out why he feels the way he does. Be blunt when asking sexual questions too. My kid tried this crap as a way to generate extra attention and I just asked blunt sexual questions about things that would happen behind closed doors. If this is how they really feel they won’t be grossed out. If he actually wants to kiss another boy, finds them attractive, and do the things that would be expected behind closed doors then go with it. If not I would try to find the root cause to why he’s trying to grab your attention. Also, if your at least on some sort of speaking terms with his father I would ask him if he knows his son feels this way and bring it up to the counselor for them to talk through with him. This too should stop it if your questions turn into an argument even though he doesn’t want to kiss other boys. He may actually be transgender, but a serious heart to heart trying to understand will let you know for sure. Just don’t come at him aggressive and if you’re not sure how to go about it have the counselor and his dad do it. Before anyone attacks me I understand there are kids that are Trans out there, but some of these kids are just confused as to what it means. Some kids think just because you think the same sex has a good feature and they wish they had it too they are Trans. We all know that’s not the case. If they can honestly tell you they want to do the things that’ll be expected in a serious relationship like kissing and so on then maybe they are or maybe they just need to experiment. I’ve known too many kids who have thought they were one thing just to figure out they weren’t when things got serious.
I would just let them go live with their dad. They are playing you both. You have lost control of them and I’ll bet once they live there for a bit they will want to come to live with you again. But when they do make sure they know that there are rules at your house and they will need to follow them or stay with their dad.
If you have tried your best & hardest to be a good parent & your kids are just being little punks threatening you with going to their dad’s although they already know the circumstances between you and their dad then by all means sign them over to their dad. You’re not a bad parent for trying to be a good parent, give the kids what they ask for since that’s what they want, they’ll learn sooner or later who’s the parent who’s tried to be a good parent to them. Don’t give in to them, kids these days don’t know when they have it good they just want shit to go their way, they gonna learn today or someday sooner or later.
I was in same situation with my oldest 15 yrs old and I fought him going to his father (poor excuse for a parent but doesn’t have any younger children like me that could be negatively effected like my younger son was) until I felt I did everything I could to get him therapy, while attempting to keep boundaries and rules. Then came the last incident & I had enough beating my head against the wall so to speak and dropped him at his father’s at 2 am when he threatened to go there so I took him myself. Didn’t say a word beyond get in my car. Next day packed up his clothes, meds, important documents (kept the IPhone X and expensive shoes) and dropped it all on the curb where they were staying.
It was 6 months ago (no contact as I am no contact with that entire side of the family for they always went behind my back too on everything so for my mental health I cut them outta of my life and told me son if he ever lived with them he would be included in the no contact) and I am finally less exhausted and finding peace and my youngest at 9 is finally not getting in trouble at school and there isn’t the chaos and yelling at home, we both sleep better and are happier.
Look at all of you telling her to just let her children go! Shame on you all! Good parenting involves both parents, not just one or the other!
Inside on their father joining in counseling, it doesn’t matter that you are divorced/not together and get the boys into a counselor. In the meantime if necessary also insist on either following the child visitation that has been set by the court or get back into court or mediation and get visitation set up that will be followed. Make sure the children understand that they are your children and that you are the parent, you are there to be their parent FIRST and their friend second! If your rules aren’t followed there will be consequences.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t understand their feelings or won’t listen to any concerns they have, that’s also what the counseling is about. Part of counseling includes family sessions.
In the meantime, the rest of you people need to stop telling her to let her children go, that’s just not right!! Actually the best thing children can ever have in a divorce or breakup between parents is equal coparenting! The children aren’t getting divorced, the parents are!!
Stamd your ground. Set boundaries n keep them if they sense hesitation or loss of power, its over.
Boys almost always go to live with their dad; when they become teenagers. LET THEM GO! When they get in trouble because he doesn’t parent them. That will be on them. If they leave and eventually want to come back, I would have some hard core house rules.
Let them go to Dads! An when they start squalling to come home put your foot down and lay down the law
Sis yel been threw alot
Maybe it would be good for you to let them live with their dad.
You need. To stand yr ground get yr azz to court set boundries staet being a parent so yr kid is pist. Big deal. Yr parent they dont have to like you …gdt every one councling …try include the asshole x…
As hard as it may be I would allow the dad to be the primary custodial parent - it seems to want it and in all reality if you go back to court the boys are of age to tell the where they prefer to live - whether it be granted or not is up to the judge but with the ways things seem to be going now with them the judge would probably allow their choices. Since you are a single mom with two boys it’s hard bc there isn’t a male figure in the picture (it may not have made a difference anyway just saying) and they may have both their dad and a stepmom in the other household (don’t know about that either just saying) and as another one noted they are in the age where they are going to play both sides to get what they want. Let dad do it and see how it turns out - swap rolls for a bit and you get them every other weekend or what ever was agreed upon. Dad is going to learn it’s a lot harder than he thinks but it will be a good lesson learned for them all. Good luck.
Why don’t you live your life? Your space is given: unwind it love and live
I would say let them go to their dad. Boys need their dad wether they talk shit about you or not you can not let them break your spirit and make you doubt yourself. Maybe they need to realize that.Just say ok guys if this is what you want then fine just let them know you love them and when they want to come back you’ll be there. You sound like you need time for you too. Stop the tug of war with them and I understand it’s a tough decision to make but maybe they need to miss you to appreciate you.
Stop fighting, let them go live with dad and they can visit you on weekends.
She’s asking for advice - not to be judged!!! Shame on you who are who are trying to play God. She is dealing with a full blown narc. She has probably been emotionally abused by her ex and been beaten down. She is trying to salvage her boys, but unfortunately they’ve learned how to treat her from their father. Sweetie try to focus on saving you and get counseling. It will be a hard road, but you will survive. Please get the book “Boundaries” and read it. It’s a wonderful book by Dr. Henry Cloud. God Bless you on your journey and take care of yourself first. You probably never have - start now.
Let them GO to Dad’s , after all You Can’t Teach Them How To Be Men.
Let them go. Maybe they will realize that the grass isnt really greener and come back home.
Let them go…they’ll do the same to him eventually
The problem is though, that the age of consent on which parent to live in most states is 12. If she takes dad back to court the boys will simply choose to go with their dad. My advice is check the age limit on choice and then see if u and dad can co-parent. But if he is wanting the boys it will be easy for him to get them unless he is an alcoholic or an addict and u can prove it.
This post strikes close to home. I wish we were friends. I’ve been there. I’m so sorry.
It sounds like you need to quit blaming everyone else for your bad parenting. Kids make “friends” at school. Parents need to set rules, have clear consequences, and follow through when the rules are broken. You have let your kids run over you until it’s probably too late to change their behavior. If they want to live with dad, let them. It sounds like he has a good relationship with them and welcomes them.
Send them to him they will see the real dad after they live with him at this point their minds are made up on what they want to do and dad is coaching they probably won’t like it nearly as much as they think if they were there full time
Your children and old enough to understand truth from lies. Let them go.
Sometimes you gotta just wash your hands and keep it moving… let them go live with him. Have a chance to work on yourself
Let em go to their dads. They might get there and things will be different compared to how it is at their dads on the weekend, and then maybe they’ll appreciate and respect you more and come home. If not, and they decide to stay, then as long as your children are happy and thriving, then that’s all that should matter.
It sounds like you’re busy and there’s no communication. The harder you try to control your kids, the more they’re going to rebel. At 15, your now daughter can literally pick which parent she wants to live with. Maybe it’s time to let the dad have a 24/7 turn. I think you need to have a sit down with the dad and probably a 3rd unbiased party. Then a sit down with dad and the kids.
Know this scenario all too well ! Prayers for you all
I’d set house rules and put your foot down with their dad . he is not being fair to you and doesn’t care what you think, if the boys can’t follow your rules tell them they can stay with their dad , you love them but your not about to put up with how their all treating you. there will come a time where they’ll want their mom and they will realize what they have done .
Take care of yourself you need that n if the kids think dad’s a choice n wanna try well let it be - things are very different living with other parent 24/7 than they are visiting n kids will see n learn they don’t have it free n easy after awhile ;”) let them go n learn reality their attitude will change I’m sure !! Know this too well
I went through this when I daughter was a teen, lasted a week. When she came home I told her if you think you will do this again, next time it will be for good! Never happened again. They try to play you.
let them go. They will be back. If not its their loss not to have the guidance of the one who loves them most. Maybe they need a change. Teens do not know what they want. Too many options.They will appreciate all you do for them should they leave and come back but just let them know this is not an option. They have to make a choice and not use one parent over the other. Good luck
Your kids didn’t always agree with what you wanted in life and they had to deal with it now it’s your turn and you must deal with your child being transgender there is nothing wrong with it love should not be blind especially towards your child
You have custody? Call police when they take off! Until a court gives diffrent orders, they have to listen. And as far as dad goes. He needs an old fashion ass whooping. He turning them into whiney babies. If son is transgender than fine. But he cant use that as an excuse to be an ass.
If there is a court order in place that clearly states that you have primary placement and dad has scheduled visitation then if dad doesn’t return the kids as scheduled, law enforcement will tell him that they have to go home. If dad is not happy with that, he’d have to take you back to court to amend it. If your children are disrespecting you that much, it may be a good idea for them to go to their dad. After the honeymoon period wears off and they see that there are rules everywhere, they may decide that home with you is where they want to be.
Let’s start with the simple fact that YOU have the power. You have legal full time custody. He has his set visitation days. If he wants more, tell him to take you to court. If the kids run to his house, call the freaking cops. They are under 18!!! Scare the shit out of them with a little help from law enforcement and remind them that it’s your house, your rules. When they are at dads house, they follow his rules. You tell those boys that if they want to act grown up, they will meet the consequences of their actions and that their is a place that naughty boys, and girls, go when they disobey their parents and want to runaway from home (even if it is to their dads). If it’s not on paper, then it’s not ok. Remind them that you are mom and it’s moms way or the hard way. The manipulation needs to stop. Let him say what he wants but don’t feed into it or touch on it. It’s outside of your home, so leave it there! All that matters is what’s happening under your roof on your time. And you are the full time parent, he is the part time parent for a reason. Don’t forget that!!
Ya you gotta start being tougher, take all their stuff away, ground them, if you have primary, when they leave on days they aren’t supposed to be with dad call the police, go back to court let the judge know the dad is manipulative and kids are acting out. I know it’s tiring especially because you work but this has to be done
Let them go when I was about 16 I left to my dad’s to live after a months time span I came back to mama’s house
So at least they are closer to 18 then not… anyways let them go why are you fighting for kids that are about to be 18 soon they won’t be yours or his . Let them go as a matter a fact pack their shit n drive them or don’t but definitely stop fighting bye bye as long as you know they’re safe shouldn’t matter . Once you stop feeding into the behavior it will stop
Let them go . When things dont work they will be as cool as cucumber
Let them go help them pack and kiss them good by
Ever seen hope floats? The hardest thing you can do as a parent is show your children the truth about the other parent, but sometimes it’s the only way to get your kids to learn the life lesson that comes with it.
Let them go to dad’s. Let them live the life they want so badly and you take them on the weekends. Once dad is the primary rule giver and has to be the bad guy every day, they’ll realize his house isn’t the break they truly thought it is. Beyond that, it’s also not uncommon for boys to want to go live with dad around this age to have something to compare themselves to.
As long as they aren’t in danger of being harmed by abuse, it’s time to let dad be the full time parent. Let them go, pick up a class or new hobby, and fill your space with something productive to help you finish healing.
Let them go to their Dad’s my one granddaughter did the same thing so her Mom finally let her. She lasted about 3 months and went back home,she learned the grass isn’t any greener on the other side of the fence
I say let them go in due time they will see what kind if parent you are and will be begging to come back.
They are at that age and in all honesty are old enough to technically decide where they want to live. If they are continuously threatening to go or move to their dads, let them…the grass is not always greener on the other side. Let your EX experience what it is like to parent full-time and I can almost bet after awhile they will want to come back or your EX will send them back because their behavior will eventually get to him. It’s all fun and games until it isn’t. I’ve been there done that…good luck❤
Let them go… they might just be back in time for dinner .
You have got to find a way to parent together with the dad. Dad is teaching them they can disrespect and disregard what you say and that’s not cool at all.
You need to sit down n talk to the dad. Maybe consult a lawyer or go to court
Let them go live with Dad for a while and see how they like and how dad likes it,
Let them go! One day when they “grow up” things will definitely change.
The tighter you hold on…the more they will rebel. Let them go verses threatening or manipulating you. I’m so very sorry you have to endure this and the heartache you feel. Blessings in whatever decision you decide to make.
Let the kids go to their dads,once dad gets a taste of his own medicine and the kids start getting rules from dad they are going to realize the grass isn’t always greener.dad probably let’s them do whatever because your the one that suffers because he returns them to your care. Let him deal with the school and their temper tantrums and when he can’t handle you agree to take them back with terms (so he can’t start his games again)
Honey?, let them go. I know every mom instinct says hang on. Let them go. My x was terrible, and would allow all kinds of crap, but he would leave them sitting here, not taking them, because he didn’t have a baby sitter. For a 13 &15 yr olds? I had wished mine would’ve taken them, he created them, lol. (The monster part) I don’t know all your business, but i know your in for a world of total shit, and it’s not gonna ever be fair. Take the weekend "fun job, " & let dad be a parent for awhile. He ain’t going to like it when it gets done to him. It’s hard to say, but, I wish I would have made my kids father take them.
Ask for a protection order at the courts. Asking for him to keep to visitation and communication schedule, refrain from bad mouthing you to the children, that he return the children if they show up at his door out of schedule etc.
I am divorced with 4 children and am happily remarried. My youngest daughter did move out to live with her father. I did not want her to go at all, but let her move out with him. She stayed with him February to August. She learned life was alot harder and different with her father than with us. She was left alone alot, with noone to take to. She learned the hard way that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. Now, none of the children talk with him. He has ruined their trust, respect and relationship with all of them. He also cut me down in front of them. I did not talk bad about him in front of them. That was always my business not theirs. I understand what you are going through… they will see his true colors come out at some point.
Time for you to get counseling
I have boys that same age. If they ever disrespect me I’m unscrewing the broomstick AGAIN!!! I refuse to be disrespected by my children…disrespect includes embarassing me outside the house…My advice is let them go to their dad’s because they will be right back when they see the grass is not greener
First off, just grabbing the kids without your knowledge is wrong. Some states it could be seen as kidnapping, put a stop to that now, get a lawyer involved to find out if you can charge them and tell them that is the result if they do it again. Kids threaten to see how far they can push, do not give in. Firm and consistent NO means NO and consequences for not following the rules. Kids need boundaries, make sure they have them and stick with it. Ignore the BS to get their way, they get it when it doesn’t work. Take away wifi and so on when they break the rules, grounding and if doors get slammed, take em off for a week.
Pack them little shits up & tell they daddy to come get they ass
Ain’t no way in hell my sons would’ve fixed their mouth to talk back to me
Let them go as hard as it is and they will soon realise that the grass isn’t greener at dads and when they do come home there has to be rules put in place and if they refuse to follow them then they go back and stay there and you have them every other weekend until they follow the rules
I too went through the same thing. I let them go. Afterall, he is a parent too. My kids eventually came back and with more respect. They realized how made they had it and how much my requests weren’t much to ask for. Hang in there
Give them to they dad and go ahead with your life or you keep them an get a court order that they dad can’t see or take them unless it is supervised vist with a court person that in the room
Let them go with there dad they will be back plus your ex just wants to just hurt you with your kids you deserve to be treated better by your kids just let them go live you now and if they want to came back you put your rules and if tbey don’t respect you get them out again and that be there last chance
I’d kick them to their dad’s and let him “parent” them for awhile.
The first issue I see here is you’re not respecting your daughter at all. If she has decided she is transgender, then you need to refer to her as she and as your daughter. How can you demand respect from her without respecting her yourself. It’s got to be hard on her to go through this transition and still have you calling her your son.
Tell them bye, pack their shit, and tell them to call their dad to pick them up. Their never going to stop saying that, if they think they can control u with that. Call their bluff, even if they go to their dad’s. He’s going to get on their nerves. Their teenagers and they hormones are raging. They’ll see it’s them and not the parents
Shit, send they ass over there…
let him deal with it
Let them go… chances are dad won’t actually be a dad and they’ll come crawling back to someone who actually cares about them
Send their butts there for a while.
The grass looks greener till they get there and find out it’s not. Let them go. You shouldn’t have to be put through a emotional roller coaster of game playing and disrepect. You could use a break and they can find out first hand how well they really had it being with you. Don’t let them guilt or manipulate you any longer. Send them packing in love and let the chips fall where they may. In the long run they may just learn to respect you and your efforts and apologize for their behaviour
I would let them go live with their dad. They could find out as well as dad that the grass isn’t always greener. At the very least you can have a little peace for a minute. Reverse the visitation. You get Dad’s visitation and he has primary care. I think once they get a certain age I think they can decide who they want to live with.
Yikes, I cant imagine having a transgender child that would be so hard to accept. People pretending it’s easy are delusional. That’s your child changing into someone else, its scary. I have no advice your situation sounds awful.