Ex complains he doesn't see our kid enough

My ex and I split we had one child together. He gets our child on weekends. He always says he never gets enough time with the child but I’ve offered every other week which he turns down because he doesn’t want to pay daycare. A while ago he had the child a few extra days and it seemed the child was always with the grandparents. How would you feel if they also let their sibling have the child over night? I mean if they’re asking for extra time but not even there what would you do? We never went to court or anything.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Ex complains he doesn't see our kid enough

Do your sister or brother (aunts and uncles on your side) take the kid for overnight visits?

I know when I was a kid, I loved spending time with my grandparents, aunts and uncles, and cousins. I honestly think you’re overthinking that aspect of it.

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Grandparents shouldn’t be seeing the said child during the time the child is supposed to be with the dad. It’s fine and all that everyone wants to be in the child’s life but contact the mother and stay active in the child’s life that way instead of using the designated time for dad to see the child. That time for dad is supposed to be for just dad since he doesn’t see the child everyday. Just because dad only sees the child on the weekend doesn’t mean dad’s side of the family should have that same agreement you know; the more the merrier especially if you’re on friendly terms and can act like a family with everyone.

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I have the theory the more people that love you the better. I wouldn’t have a problem with grandparents and siblings, they are family and maybe they are wanting to see the child so he feels it takes away from him. That’s his problem to work out. I would simply ask him to present you with what he has in mind. Then you can decide if it fits for you. When I got divorced I gave my ex every opportunity to have our son he wanted as long as not disruptive. To tell the truth I needed some of that time for me and wanted him to see exactly how hard it can be all while building a strong relationship with both of us. Life is too short, especially these days you never know what lies ahead. My son is an adult now and has thanked me countless times for keeping his dad involved in his life. He has also said, mom I know you sacrificed a lot and my dad wasn’t always dependable but thank you for letting me figure it all out. He is super close to both of us now.

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Relationships with the child’s other side of the family are super important. - grandparents, cousins - it’s all important. But counted as his time.

Ask ex to nominate extra dates he wants child for. It may just be one long weekend a month. Ask for it in writing.

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It would be in the best interest of your child to do everything the legal way. One of you needs custody or joint custody. And if YOU want custody then I would start now before he beats you to it. You may be paying for childcare when your childs with you but he evidently has family that’ll keep the child some of while he has his time. That being said there’s nothing wrong with the grandparents being there for their son and grandchild. As long as everything is good and you have no concernsof anything inappropriate or mean. It would be nice if they would do the same to help you out and maybe they will in time. It’s no different than you letting your child go visit your side of the family or even friends. Do what you need to do to make your child secure and happy with either of you.

You should go to court to have visitation and support in writing. I’ve a grandson who did it with his girlfriend. Judge thought it was fair and approved. Saved some problems from developing as they both moved on and found others.

All I personally have to say is have everything court ordered, everything but if he wants more time but doesn’t want to pay daycare then have someone you both trust watch the child but it is his child as well & come with a lot of expenses that need paid wether he wants to or not 🤷

My ex lives out of state refuses c support. I let him see kids any time but he now refuses to pay any support says they live here he isn’t paying

Take court - " No judge going to allow that- I have in court " only for Father - why send your child to be with " family - hell nope " beside work -
Yes My children are with me 24 /7 - not give to aunt sally to raise -

No man wants pay child support -
Always trying out of it -
Always moms fault - "
Taken to court get fair share - guess what he got daycare 50 % time " even if got the child.
New laws pass increasing rates-
He legal has to 50% of his child exp.

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This is so petty! So what if grandparents and siblings get the child, or if dad is there or not. Do your parents or siblings ever spend time with your kids when you aren’t around? If the child isn’t complaining, why make a mountain out of a rock? If dad wants more time and can’t work it out that’s a personal problem.

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Why does it matter who the child is with he is with his family and as long as he is being taken care of I do not understand why it matters. When you have him does he not spend time with your family or in childcare?

Speaking as a grandparent…Do you think the grandparents want time with the child and he is obliging? I am a grandparent and Love my grandkids… It would hurt me immensely if I could not see them. I am glad I am not in that situation.

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Personally I didn’t mind my kids staying with grandparents or aunts and uncles because I wanted them all involved in my children’s lives

If he gets him every other week, as you’ve offered, then his child support should be lowered accordingly, or eliminated. Then he will be able to afford daycare.

Nothing wrong with him letting yalls child go see his family as well. Do you ever let your family help with the child? It’s his time and he can share it with his family or ask for their help on his time. I mean if he NEVER saw yalls child and always sent him to his parents then that would be a problem.

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Maybe he wants the extra time so that his family gets to spend time with his child also

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The dad should make sure his parents see their grandchild just like you should make sure your parents see their grandchild

He’s just saying it! Don’t play into his bs! If he wanted her more honestly he would ask for like a dinner date with the child. He would offer you anytime that he was free!

You mean your child is spending time with his grandparents, aunts and uncles… ? The baby is still with family…

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Personally I would require him to cover childcare while child is with him if he wants more time. Wouldn’t matter to me if he paid a daycare, a private babysitter or one of his family members did it for him. As long as our child is safe and cared for. As far as him dropping child off to his family members during his time with child. Not a big deal to me as long as I know where child is. His family is also your child’s family and I’m sure they like spending time/seeing him just as much as your side does. If he won’t or can’t accommodate then I wouldn’t agree to altering the schedule. Whatever you have in play currently is working for you and child. To rearrange it when accommodations isn’t provided would possibly throw you off. Hopefully yall can continue to hash things out without court intervention but just in case I would keep a journal.

Take him to court and request 50/50 and he pays everything on his week, daycare etc…
Nothing wrong with his family spending time with your kid on HIS time.

This again has nothing to do with the holidays!!!

You could trial more time the child was probably with the grandparents because they wanted time with their grandchild and don’t get a chance normally because the father wants what little time he has to himself with the child to himself to keep the father child bond

oh no grandparents what we gonna do heaven help us grandparents

Ignore him and ask what the kiddo would like to do in a casual conversation sometime.

I have no advice really but wanted to throw out there that I’m an aunt of a whole bunch of kids and I’d be really salty if I couldn’t see them because my brothers are shitty parents

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