My ex and I split we had one child together. He gets our child on weekends. He always says he never gets enough time with the child but I’ve offered every other week which he turns down because he doesn’t want to pay daycare. A while ago he had the child a few extra days and it seemed the child was always with the grandparents. How would you feel if they also let their sibling have the child over night? I mean if they’re asking for extra time but not even there what would you do? We never went to court or anything.
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Time to go to court.
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Why don’t you have him get Thursday-Sunday and you Monday-Thursday. Thursday will be half days for you and him. You drop off at daycare and he picks up. That way it’s 50/50. As far as childcare, that and medical bills should be 50/50 as well. I’m not sure if he’s paying child support or if it’s needed, but if he’s not wanting to pay childcare, tell him you can split it and you’ll agree to not have him pay child support. You gotta be able to come up with something that’s gonna work for you both for the sake of your child.
Also, what he does with his time, is not for you to dictate. If the child is safe and happy, does it matter that he/she is spending time with family? Maybe they’re asking to spend time with your child too. Feel blessed that his family wants to spend that time with your child, especially if he/she is getting to play with their cousins. Don’t take that away just because you want to be right or want to prove a point.
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I’d tell him his options are every weekend or every other week. Yes,he deserves equal parenting time but that doesn’t mean he gets to just demand to take your child whenever he wants to. He may not want to pay for daycare but that’s just part of being a parent and he doesn’t get to pick and choose which parts of parenthood he wants and then just leave the harder parts of it to you. Maybe he can ask his parents or sibling to babysit while he works since he has no problem leaving the child with them anyways. If he wants equal parenting time,he needs to realize that being a parent isn’t always cheap and convenient and it’s his responsibility to arrange childcare while he works on his time. He needs to respect your time as your time and his time as his time. Every other week seems fair,he just needs to realize that paying for/arranging childcare is part of being a parent.
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I think it’s a good thing the child see his aunts or uncles and grandparents
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My ex and I do 50/50 custody. One week we do Monday from 6, Tuesday Wednesday till 6 I have him; then Wednesday from 6, Thursday, Friday till 6 he gets him. Then the weekend is mine. Then we switch completely
My sons father takes him after work twice a week and every Sunday. If I didn’t have my son at least one weekend day I’d be upset because I’d feel As if I don’t get enough time in one day. You can try adding a day or two during the week but him not wanting to pay daycare is ridiculous. We have an order to pay half of all costs, daycare, medical bills, extra curriculars and sports, etc.
Why are you referring to your child as “the child” also, it’s good for your child to have a relationship and time with his other family members
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For me, I’d have a sit down and figure out something we both could agree on. I would want some weekends too. I’d also want first right of refusal, and allow him the same.
Then I’d have a paralegal write up the custody agreement snd submit to the court.
The sad thing is, no matter how well you get along, when you butt heads (and at some point you will) you both can default to the court order and keep things from getting heated.
He is just as equal of a parent as you are until proven unfit. It’s not your place to judge what he does with his time with his child. If the child is safe and happy, that’s all that matters. Especially if he isn’t questioning your every move with your child. If he wants more time with his child then give it to him…judging and dictating is not your job, being a loving second half of the parental bus is your job.
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Let the dad see his kid more why should you have the child most of the time and it shouldn’t be an issue that the child see his. Aunts and uncles or grandparents
If he’s choosing for the child to stay with grandparents for child care instead of daycare and they are good grandparents I would allow that and actually be much happier about that
Been there and done that. Told him he could stay at my house but not take her out of the house. Never saw him again. Grand daughter didn’t cry anymore.
I only got to see my dad on the weekends and I missed him so bc of that I didn’t get to spend as much time with my grandparents which really sucks. Weekends aren’t enough. If I only got to see my son on the weekends I’d be depressed
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Technically my ex and I have 50/50 but he chooses not to participate in doctors appointments and changes jobs frequently to dodge child support. He only had them on Monday thru Wednesday afternoon ever week but he doesn’t actually spend time with them. They are always at his parents house. He too complains I never let him have them. But also wont pay for daycare if he were to have them more. He just wants what is convenient for HIM and his time. It sounds like your ex isn’t considering your time with your child either and is only thinking about himself.