This morning are I’m getting him ready for pre school, he didn’t want to brush his teeth and him and his father starts to argue and eventually he gets up and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and then he turns to me and says he wants a other mommy and daddy. I then don’t respond to him then his dad comes in the bathroom and ask him what wrong and he tells his dad that his thinking of ways to kill mommy and daddy.
Please help, what do I do?
I got a 5 year old son and his attitude is really something else I don't know what to do with him anymore, I don't know how to discipline him anymore because it seems like it doesn't help.
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Have him see a counselor. What he said is alarming, & a counselor can most likely figure out why he thinks like that, & what you can do to help
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Five year old is having violent thoughts - Mamas Uncut
Get into counseling immediately
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Go get him mentally evaluated. He might need some medicine.
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Why is he acting like that, how does he knows of negative thoughts??? You’re doing something wrong.
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Very obvious answer- GO TO THERAPY…
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Get him to a child psychologist/child psychiatrist or call your local childrens hospital and ask around, they would have a mental health department .
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Therapy friend. Therapy can definitely help.
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Need to see a paediatrician asap for mental health assessment, He is 5 don’t let him scare you he just needs your help. You might feel shocked but all will be okay. Local GP can refer you, Give him lots of cuddles and remind him how much you both love him. Youre doing great btw
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Honey ,you need to get him into therapy NOW!
I would also talk to his Dr about this. Sometimes they can guide you to the type of mental health help he needs. But, he definitely needs to see someone about his anger. He probably didn’t seem angry but, if he’s thinking if ways to kill you…he is.
It could also be a chemical imbalance in the brain. Prayers for you and him. God bless.
Idk. Does he see shows or anything that people get killed? My 5 year old is mean asf and would probably say that if she knew what it was. Like if she knows it will hurt or shock you, that’s what she go’s for. I would try to talk to him and when he is calm ask if he ment it.
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Odd? Adhd? Mood disorder? Therapist asap him into peds to do a referral to a behavioral specialist!! My son was like this at 4!!! He was diagnosed with ODD/ADHD!! Get help early!! U got this!! Your not bad parents I promise!! Just get answers and done stop til you do!!
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Lmao, my son does this and if 4. He’s obsessed with death and horror movies. When he is mad and talks like that tho, most of the time they just want your reaction.
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Definitely get him into therapy. He’s 5 yrs old and shouldn’t be saying things like that, not alone saying things like that. Does he watch or play violent things? But please get him to therapy asap. Don’t let this go. He’s 5 and needs help now before he gets older.
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Go have him assessed if he is watching action movies with lil violence i suggest stopping that i have a kid with adhd and he has never in his life come out with anything close to that
Ok so first off, hes 5. Children dont always know how to express anger. They do this in various ways. I would start by talking to him when things are calm and ask him why he said that. In most cases he wont know why but that he was just mad. If he shows signs of aggression to other children, adults or even pets, then talking to your family doctor might be something you might want to do. Find out why hes angry. It could just mean a lack of communication and that he needs other positive ways to express anger and redirection
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Peads, child psychs, and get a evaluation…
Don’t feel like this is your fault mumma, a professional will be able to determine where these thoughts are coming from and get him the help he deserves…
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He needs to see a professional asap
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Yea he might need help but he feels some type of way maybe ya ain’t showing him love something goin on like he’s a bother to ya he’s 5 wtf would he know about killing something is being shown or ya just not giving him love an he sees it so he’s acting out but yea go gets some help but I believe ya as parents have a BIG part in this…start loving that kid he probably needs a Hug from ya… Yelling at him ain’t gona help show some Love
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Yall need to stop arguing in front of him.
His morning should consist of waking up getting ready for school and getting good affirmations telling him that he is loved and that he will have a great day and that he will be somebody.
Anything else kills his spirits and he’s telling you that. Fix it while you can
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At 5 years old, I personally would not be extremely concerned!! It doesn’t register with him what that really consist of!! At that age when they are angry, they connect getting rid of something, and getting it out of the way!! I’ve raised several children, and have heard it all, just remind him that is not something you say to someone, especially someone you love, he will more than likely get over that phase as he matures, just keep doing what you are doing, and as you already know stay aware as he gets older!
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How much time does he spend on a device…that could be your answer, a kid that age shouldn’t even know about killing…
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Take your kid to doctor and get help now. It is your learning curve also.
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He could need therapy, but even so he is most likely looking for a reaction and attention. If he has been struggling for a bit and acting out, and you and your husband have been struggling too and feeling the need to punish him more then he may be feeling this cycle of negativity. I think it’s important to remember that our children don’t do things to hurt us, they are kids trying to figure out life and their always evolving awareness of themselves and the people in their lives. Do you find you take the chances to give him positive reinforcement? When he does something you appreciate or would like to instill with him, give him that acknowledgement and praise. When he acts out, find a way to decompress for him and you guys so you can talk to him when he’s in an emotional state where he can listen. I would take some time to sit with him also and ask him why he said he was “planning to kill you”, and let him explain no matter how wild or dramatic. Let him be heard and then talk it out. Just some ideas
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I’m sorry but he’s learned this behavior from somewhere either tv or at home. U need to get him into a child psychologist or your pediatrician. Before anybody jumps down my throat this 5 year old has seen this type of behavior somewhere so don’t be just assuming it’s cause of behavioral deficits either cause majority of the time it’s cause of violence in the home or the child has been watching inappropriate shows that show violence so. So get your kid into a psychologist or his pediatrician that’s honestly your only choices or putting him into a mental health facility that specializes only in children.
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I would start by doing this every night.
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If you would like to message me u can I am a certified behavioral therapist
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Counseling immediately!!
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Doctor, immediately. For ALL of you.
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Counselling and also ask him WHY he feels this way - WHAT makes him feel this way - dont take “I dont know” for an answer but dont make him feel bad about his answers also dont push him to hard, dont ask him yes or no questions buy questions he needs to actually answer. Be there for him, dont attack him if he talks and ask him what HE feels would make him not feel that way. But he deffinetly needs to talk to someone, if you cant get through to him, thats okay, hes not ready to talk to you about it but you trying and being paitent will show him you care about how he feels.
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Stop arguing in front of your child. A routine helps. Also you set the mood, if you are yelling at your child don’t expect them to obey you or to be in positive spirits. Therapy works too! Probably the best option
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Please watch the programmes he watches. Parent control. Also, take him to talk to a professional. This is not something to joke about cause he might grow with it if not attended to.
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If there is one thing that I’ve managed to learn from all the mom posts that grace my FB feed, it’s that children say some F’ed up shit.
HOWEVER, that doesn’t mean we should ignore the language nor the demeanor. Teaching kiddos healthy vs. unhealthy ways to express anger is really important and screaming back or punishing doesn’t seem to correct the issue. It only prolongs it.
Thanks for listening to my TEDtalk
P.S. I don’t even have kids. Idk how I ended up here.
It’s a possibility he’s hearing these things at school. But if I had a dime for every time my kids said inappropriate things to me I’d be rich. They both turned out to be good successful young men with beautiful families. You might sit down and asked him if he knows what it means. My youngest son once told me he hated his life. I asked him if he hated me, his dad, his brother, his school, his dogs, his bike and toys. He said no. I said then how can you hate your life? Because all those things are your life. I’d definitely talk to his pediatrician but I wouldn’t panic just yet.
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If keeps up take him to counseling. Try talking to him first to ask him why he feels this way.
Don’t take any of it seriously my son says he hates me and says I’m mean for telling him off for something he’s done wrong. He says he wants to kill me but I also explain to him that if he doesn’t have a mummy there will be nobody to do anything for him, after he has calmed down and I e explained how wrong it is to talk like that he says sorry, you also need to (explain at a level he understands) that if he talks like that he will get himself into a lot of trouble. My son is 8 so I’m saying how I would do it with mine, it’s obviously too extreme for a 5 yr old to understand. Check everything he’s watching even just ask him what’s making him have those thoughts. My son has ADHD so I’ve learned to leave him alone when he needs it to calm himself down, your son may also have adhd. Don’t take anything personally as his brain is still developing and doesn’t even know what he’s talking about.
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It sounds like dad is in a power struggle with the child. I very doubt he even understands what that means. I’m sure he understands is something bad but has no idea what dying or killing means. You need to stop the power struggle and have consistent consequences but encourage him to use his words. Be mindful of the food your feeding his brain with (YouTube, online gaming, tv, music, living by example).
NY kid had never said he was wanting to kill me but I’m literally in the same boat and my son 4, he’s so rude all the time, tells me he don’t love me and wants a new mom because he doesn’t get his way.
Something at school may cause this as well (if he is going to school) Also Youtube is not innocent
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Sounds like he’s watching some weird stuff on YouTube or tv that you don’t know about that’s encouraging this. I realized youtube kids wasn’t kid friendly a while back and banned my son from watching it when I saw him watching a Peppa Pig video where a character cut their ear off with scissors. Some of the videos I looked at said things like “I wish my mommy was dead”.
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Be thorough with monitoring what he’s watching if he’s given any time on YouTube (even YouTube kids) there are very dark videos out there that they stumble upon that at a glance look kid friendly but when you pay attention they’re saying things like what he’s saying and teaching them terrible things. It’s insane what they have access to even on “kid friendly” platforms
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Most likely, a psychopath in the making.
Send him to a psychologist and if possible, counseling in a good church.
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People keep asking these questions because they genuinely underestimate EFFECTIVE therapy. You don’t have to stick w providers. Switch if they are ineffective! It just saddens me that before these children eventually get to hurt someone, their parents are trying to help them as if they’re in the same caliber with their potential victims. It’s not so and these parents need to be held accountable. It’s a very dangerous game they’re playing and no life is worth the sacrifice, idc!
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Don’t get cross with him and don’t take it personally or react to it. He’s venting and trying to get a reaction and what he wants. Just say to him that you know he’s angry but he needs to calm down then we can talk about it then give him time to do that. Then when he’s ready, ask him why he was so cross. Listen to him. It’ll simply be he didn’t want to do xyz and asks why he had to and you just explain we need to look after teeth and breath and why etc. he’s 5. There’s not as much emotional understanding as you think. All through primary they can go through these phases and it’s all a lack of emotional understanding, not being naughty or awkward, knowing that what you do is right or wrong, regardless of what others say! They don’t do it on purpose, they just don’t understand how to manage feelings and express them properly
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Id suggest watching what he is watching on devices including tv, could be something there. Also ask him where he learnt about the idea of wanting another mum and dad. And I’d be asking him lots of questions about his day, who he spoke to and what they spoke about - all calmly of course. If you can, spend even more time with him - one on one and same with dad and then both of you do an activity together with him and siblings if he has any.
My son has crazy thoughts and says some really wack stuff sometimes so we spend a lot of time talking about the situations and why something was said, what they could have meant by it and what we could say instead. He is 5 years old but and still young but I tell him he is understanding which he is and he thinks about what I talk to him about. You can always seek help for yourself for different ways to get around these thoughts, I found that changing myself and my conversations with my son and discipline etc really helped his behavior. At the end of the day they just need our undivided attention when and where we can give it to them. Kind of rambled but hope this helps you
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I’m from the old school. I don’t believe in all the nonsense people are spouting on here. I would, excuse the expression, tear his a$$ up for talking to me like that and see if that doesn’t end the problem. Most likely it would.
Could he be disturbed and need a psychologist? It’s possible, but most of the time bratty, out of control behavior like this is because the kid has been allowed to get away with murder and disrespect his parents while they stood there trembling.
Argue? He’s 5 lol don’t get me wrong my kids are encouraged to have a little retaliation so that they can speak out and for themselves if need be but 5? Me and my 4 year old bicker back and fourth at times but once my voice gets to a certain tone she knows” oh shoot moms not playing this time” and figures it tf out!
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Well for one 5 year olds shouldn’t be in pre-school! He should be in reception
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Keep the boy away from YouTube or whatever he watches where people kill for ease of life.
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Get him psychological help and monitor what he watches that’s signs of a psycopath I’m sorry but it is never have I seen the worst of kids say this
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Look up the youngest child murderers in world it is possible for a 5 year old to kill his parents
I’m sorry, but this is not something to take lightly doesn’t matter that he’s 5. I’d have someone talk to him, it doesn’t hurt to have a professional involved.
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Go to dr with it if you havent yet. Maybe hes sick. Sounds like proff help might be better than discipline for him. You dont want him more angry than already. Spend lotta time talking to him if you can. Really get to know him. Sometimes its hard to get info outta kids that young
Take him outside to play catch with a couple mitts and a baseball, father-son time… Bring some stuff up that way and see what’s up. Talk to him one on one with his favorite snack, take him to the arcade and Crack the shell.
Firstly don’t lie
Him saying he wants another mum or dad is not him plotting to kill you 
Second stop arguing with him like your siblings it’s easy done but stop
I count mine down for stuff and give them a consequence so for teeth it wold be no junk food because it will hurt your teeth with no brushing etc
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He needs to be sat down and asked where he is learning that from. Also agree with previous comment limit his things he is allowed to watch he could be seeing and learning that from something my kids are not allowed on YouTube or kids YouTube there is videos on there that show peppa pig killing people…monitor the things he is watching Same as video games does he see dad play them killing people These things kids shouldn’t be watching.
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Everyone parents different and that’s ok but over here in my house rules and boundaries are set from a very very young age my kids no what is acceptable and what is not. Im so shocked by the ‘argue’ he’s 5 ur the parent say what needs to be done and that it.
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It might sound off the wall but my daughter was having a lot of behavioral issues when we found out she has type 1 diabetes, if he has other symptoms such as frequent urination, increased hunger and thirst, weight change I’d suggest bringing him in for blood work to check.
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Show kid whos the boss/parent.
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Look for a therapist. Find a calmer way to get him to brush his teeth. Don’t yell at all; it’s not going to happen if u yell
Psych eval immediately. You need professional help with this.
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You need a therapist and to figure out how to parent a 5yo. Seriously arguing with him isn’t helping anything. He’s learning his behavior from the adults in his life.
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You will get so many “show him who’s boss” comments. Kids don’t purposely do things like this. You need to speak to your gp as he may be unwell. Also - Psych evaluation is my thoughts x xx
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Don’t argue with him maybe less screen time and more one on one, reward his good behaviour , and take away his favourite things when his naughty what has changed in his routine talk to him and ask him why is he so cranky lately
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get help now he needs to be checked out for medical and chemical in balances i have seen this before in a freinds 6 year old
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Definitely seek professional help. Also, don’t argue with him. Tell him to do something along with a consequence if he doesn’t do it. When he doesn’t do it, follow through with consequence. Rules are rules, they aren’t up for debate, especially with a five year old. But seriously, if he’s saying he’s thinking of killing someone or something, he needs a professional like a therapist IMMEDIATELY!
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Talk to the school and ask if he has shown any violent behaviour or communications towards others.
Wait for a report from the school and then the things you have witness build a portfolio of his behaviour and your concerns then go to the doctors.
In then meantime don’t engage in arguments with him or anything to do with negative responses. Try set up a reward or point system if he is finding things difficult and encourage him to use it. Also an emotions board or pictures and engage in an activity which allows him to talk about why he is having these feelings.
Use this to build your evidence. But yeah screaming ans shouting is a no no
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Start with seeing a psychologist, and get in touch with a pediatrician. Even young children can have emotional issues just like adults. The best thing is early intervention!
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He needs help get him to a psychiatrist.
Unpopular Opinion here. You don’t argue with children. It’s your job to teach them respect, discipline, and repercussions. Running to a therapist for every little thing teaches them a doc n meds are only way to cope with life. As a person in H.R. you’d be surprised what the young adult workforce is like…they can’t deal with stress. They can’t deal with conflict. They call in because they had a really bad day yesterday and need to see their doc for meds to cope. Um no. You must take the upper hand and teach them repercussions for their actions.
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Does he watch YouTube by any chance. Some of the content there is horrific
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Take your child to therapy as soon as possible
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Time for a crisis evaluation
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This is simple. Don’t ever argue with a child. Let him know you are the parent. Be strict with him when you have to be, and his best friend when he’s well behaved. Spend time with him so he feels your love. He tells you he hates you, you tell him you hated him first so he knows he hurts your feelings. He tells you he’s finding ways to kill you guys, match him inside a police station, speak to the police to scare him for a few minutes and he will have a taste of what happens to murders if that’s what he what’s to become. Be careful with what you make him watch and your behavior around him. This is coming from somewhere… my 8 year old daughter and I are best friends but at the same time she knows mommy doesn’t play and will not tolerate any form of disrespect. If this doesn’t help then seek psychological help ASAP. Good luck.
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Therapy, psych evaluation. You’d be surprised how many kids that age go inpatient in psych hospitals bc they say that or actually attempt/make plans to kill themselves or their families.
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Take the video games away and monitor the things you watch in front of him.
The whole “ I want a new mom and dad” yeah, We’ve all heard it.
But thinking of ways to kill mom and dad, that didn’t just come out of nowhere
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Seek help that’s best thing you can do contact you’re local mental health place ask if they refer you too a counselor also have him tested for any underlying mental illnesses if any on both sides he’s likely have them.
I’m sorry you are going through this momma.
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So much of this advice has me cringing. Y’all are doing things that are going to make your children fear and resent you, NOT respect or trust you. Yikes
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As a parent it’s your responsibility to go enroll him in the proper therapies and get him to the proper doctors. This is serious. Good luck.
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Are you physically disciplining him? Some kids react this way to that.
He definitely needs therapy. He needs coping skills. It’s easier to do that now while he is small and you can shape his future. It’s much harder, if not impossible to do when he is a 6 foot teen.
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Welp” I guess you’re gunna have to just return that child
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He needs therapy. Could he be repeating something he heard? Yes, but he couldn’t also be having those thoughts.
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I have an 8 year old daughter that says this type of stuff all the time. She has ADHD with ODD. Kids with ODD like to try to control and manipulate adults and saying things like this is one way of trying to do so. You just have to put your foot down and tell him about himself. Be open and honest and tell him the consequences of his actions and the words he says. If he is old enough to say those words he is old enough to know the repercussions of then as well… Also, to take control of the situation tell him that if he keeps talking like that there will be a punishment. My daughter likes to say she wants to kill herself. My aunt has her masters in behavioral health and she told me treat her like she is being 302’d and show her the repercussions of her behavior and what would happen if someone took what she said seriously. I’ve done it one time and she learned her lesson. Sounds drastic but literally nothing else worked.
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I would get him some help that’s not normal behavior for his age!
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Ye we dont argue with our child. U do what ur told to do. Simple.
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First don’t argue with a child! You as a parent set the tone for things. Second seek help for him. He probably needs an evaluation and therapy. Also sometimes when a child acts out it’s normally because there’s something else going on or they have experienced some type of trauma.
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Talk to your pediatrician and go to a psychiatrist.
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Get professional medical help…the new mommy n daddy is pretty normal…but the entire kill mommy n daddy is not…where has this child been exposed to “killing”? They didnt just come up with that on their own.
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Wow… I can’t believe some are saying that children try to control and manipulate adults … they’re CHILDREN. They need coping skills because they don’t know how to regulate their emotions yet, or even understand why they feel or what they feel.
Some of these comments are scary and gross 
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Iv now got my daughter seeing a physchologist weekly, her behaviour has just got worse, disrespectful of me my feelings and our home she was shouting being abusive and had started lifting her hands ,she’s 8 and getting too big I don’t lift my hands I respect her feelings and her space but she has went through a lot with her dad that’s caused some trauma so I’m her safe space, the place she’s safe to express herself so I get all the backlash maybe something is upsetting your son that’s causing this behaviour hope everything works out good luck x x.
I cut violent cartoons and limited his sugar intake- it worked for us 
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You realize at five years old he has limited ability to understand his emotions, zero power of his own and limited vocabulary. He is allowed to express frustration at a time he is trying to find a little independence. Give him a voice. Let him pick what he wears, has in his lunch or dinner once in awhile. Acknowledge to him it’s ok to be upset and still love
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Is he watching YouTube. There is a lot of stuff that sneakily pops up. Including stuff about kids killing parents.
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Did you ask him why he would want to do that.
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Therapy. Whether it’s because he saw something online or there are his honest thoughts he needs professional guidance
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Is there some kind of trauma happening or from the past that could be causing these behaviors? Also, instead of having a power struggle give him options. For example, you can brush your teeth or you can refuse to brush your teeth but you will loose (insert privilege). Don’t make it a big deal, just state his options and go about your business. That gives him options and allows him to feel in control of his choices. If he decides to not brush his teeth then follow through with the consequence. You and dad have to be consistent and on the same page, so if you are giving two options dad needs to be as well. Also, as many others have said therapy definitely. But therapy doesn’t just happen in a professional’s office. Find more therapeutic ways to interact and if your kiddo does have some form of emotional disturbance going on, find a support group for you and dad as well. Best of luck!
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I’ve been through similar situations with my 6yo daughter. I was absent for 2 1/2 years and so that’s where majority of the outbursts come from between her and I but sometimes she has said violent things too. More like “I wish I was dead” or “I wish I had a different mommy”. I’m a single parent and she doesn’t have an involved father. She’s had a lot of childhood trauma. I would definitely seek professional help, maybe your local mental health center? That’s where we went for a little bit and it was the cheapest option. I try to give my daughter lots of love, even when it’s hard to. I remind her constantly that I love her and that I love being her mommy. I especially try to tell her after I fuss at her. I also try to make things like brushing teeth “fun”… like who can brush the fastest?! Or maybe sing a silly song while brushing your teeth. Or maybe try one of those tooth brushes that has the little flashing light timer on it so he knows how long to brush his teeth. All of those have helped us!! I’m sorry you have to go through this!!
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Yep counseling. He’s having big emotions and he doesn’t understand how to deal with them
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there was a show on the TLC many yrs ago about a cute little blonde girl you tried killing her baby brother, Parents had to live in separate apts, one child will sleep with that parent & the other with the other one every night. Basically the parents had no time together. No knifes or scissors allow, She was the youngest pt that her Dr had & there were no meds for someone that young, so he kinda quest on what might work for her. Because of her being a Sociopath/schizophrenic she really couldn’t go to school, If she had a good day she would see a teacher after school to learn, I always thought when she was a adult, because she was very cute & beautiful, she would pick a man or woman bring them home & literally kill them, Because that is what she wanted to do. She had no feels whatsoever. As her parents, I would also feel one day she just might do it to them too, They ended up divorcing, The brother, sadly is the same way, plus autistic. So the mother has her hands full, they are grownups now. People should NEVER think kids are too young that they would never do bad things to other people even at a young age,
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Lock it in the closet
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Pediatric Behavioral therapy … ASAP!
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