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QUESTION:
"I got a 5 year old son and his attitude is really something else I don't know what to do with him anymore, I don't know how to discipline him anymore because it seems like it doesn't help. This morning are I’m getting him ready for pre school, he didn’t want to brush his teeth and him and his father starts to argue and eventually he gets up and goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth and then he turns to me and says he wants a other mommy and daddy. I then don’t respond to him then his dad comes in the bathroom and ask him what wrong and he tells his dad that his thinking of ways to kill mommy and daddy. Please help, what do I do?"
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TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"Have him see a counselor. What he said is alarming, & a counselor can most likely figure out why he thinks like that, & what you can do to help"
"Go get him mentally evaluated. He might need some medicine."
"Get into counseling immediately"
"Get him to a child psychologist/child psychiatrist or call your local childrens hospital and ask around, they would have a mental health department."
"Need to see a pediatrician asap for mental health assessment, He is 5 don’t let him scare you he just needs your help. You might feel shocked but all will be okay. Local GP can refer you, Give him lots of cuddles and remind him how much you both love him. Youre doing great btw"
"Idk. Does he see shows or anything that people get killed? My 5 year old is mean asf and would probably say that if she knew what it was. Like if she knows it will hurt or shock you, that’s what she go’s for. I would try to talk to him and when he is calm ask if he ment it."
"Odd? Adhd? Mood disorder? Therapist asap him into peds to do a referral to a behavioral specialist!! My son was like this at 4!!! He was diagnosed with ODD/ADHD!! Get help early!! U got this!! Your not bad parents I promise!! Just get answers and done stop til you do!!"
"Lmao, my son does this and if 4. He’s obsessed with death and horror movies. When he is mad and talks like that tho, most of the time they just want your reaction."
"At 5 years old, I personally would not be extremely concerned!! It doesn’t register with him what that really consist of!! At that age when they are angry, they connect getting rid of something, and getting it out of the way!! I’ve raised several children, and have heard it all, just remind him that is not something you say to someone, especially someone you love, he will more than likely get over that phase as he matures, just keep doing what you are doing, and as you already know stay aware as he gets older!"
"He could need therapy, but even so he is most likely looking for a reaction and attention. If he has been struggling for a bit and acting out, and you and your husband have been struggling too and feeling the need to punish him more then he may be feeling this cycle of negativity. I think it’s important to remember that our children don’t do things to hurt us, they are kids trying to figure out life and their always evolving awareness of themselves and the people in their lives. Do you find you take the chances to give him positive reinforcement? When he does something you appreciate or would like to instill with him, give him that acknowledgement and praise. When he acts out, find a way to decompress for him and you guys so you can talk to him when he’s in an emotional state where he can listen. I would take some time to sit with him also and ask him why he said he was “planning to kill you”, and let him explain no matter how wild or dramatic. Let him be heard and then talk it out. Just some ideas"
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