Isn’t that children being children though?
Pack their toys away if they won’t clean them up and don’t let them have them for a while. Then next time they’ll more than likely clean up after themselves. At the end of the day though the are kids…
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If they don’t play with their toys then get rid of them, let them just keep a small bin any more they really don’t need.
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So my auntie did this to her kids and hid all there presents in her room and wrapped stuff that was already theres… it really taught them the value of things! She then gave them there real gifts these kids were teens and didn’t believe in Santa anymore… so its your kids I say do you what you want…
Less toys available and have them organized. Easier to clean up when it all has a place
Someone get this mom some coffee…and a nap. Do not give your kids coal for Christmas. 
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We do as a light hearted joke… and still give them regular gifts. We live in an old coal mining town with the coal train rail road quite literally in our back yard so we can get coal from our garden. They love it. My girls (6 & 7 yrs) are so well behaved as a rule that I wouldn’t dream of giving them coal in a serious way.
When my son was 8 he had a bad problem with being mean to his sister who is several years younger than he is. I told him if it continued he’d end up with coal for christmas. It continued. I wrapped a piece of coal up and that was his present. But I bought him actual christmas presents also and after unwrapping the coal and looking disappointed I told him maybe if he apologized to his sister and was real nice to her Santa would bring his presents back. He apologized and was nice to her the rest of the day, that night I told him there was a surprise for him because he was so good that day and gave him the actual presents. But after that I really never had to get onto him about being mean to her anymore. I dont think there’s anything wrong with it as long as your using it as a teaching opportunity instead of a punishment tool.
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Stop rewarding bad behavior. Take away the good snacks, the yummy cereals, the treats, etc. those are earned with good behavior. As parents we tend to go above and beyond for our kids, even when it’s taken for granted. Stop doing it. Bag up the toys that get left out when asked to clean up. I did this to my kids and I can tell you it’s a really attitude adjustment.
You should definitely rethink what gifts you give them though. Maybe just put fruit in their stockings, give them some books cuz they can learn something from those. Definitely not the things that are most likely on their gift list. Those are earned, not a requirement. Either way, good luck!!!
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Do it. If you think they are unappreciative, don’t reward their bad behavior. Let them know they quite literally deserve a lump of coal.
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Nothing gets done til they do what they’re asked. They want a snack? Clean up first. Lunch? Clean up first. YouTube? Clean up first. Don’t give in. It works. If they’re young clean up with them.
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Some of y’all are quite heartless no wonder your kids act as they do.
Christmas is a once a year thing when kids get presents. It happens ONCE a YEAR. How can anyone with a good conscience take that joy away from their child. And seriously, from what the OP says, it sounds like she has young children and big expectations. Yes children should clean up after themselves and put their toys away, etc. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of toys because my kids wouldn’t.
If you really don’t want to get your kids presents for Christmas then just don’t even acknowledge the holiday. But if they 6 or younger and you’ve already acknowledged the holiday and you’re going to give them coal because they didn’t put their toys up. You’re an asshole.
I got coal as a kid…cried upstairs after watching my younger siblings get yelled at for crying…it was supposed to be a joke
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The make candies called lumps of coal lol
Try throwing their stuff in the garbage. Teaches them a lesson and no more stuff to make a mess with.
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My kids are 4 and 6. They def have chores. Start off with lists. If they dont do it they lose privileges
We did as a joke once. We put a small bag in our oldest son’s stocking. He was so mad. He was about 5ish then. He had plenty of other gifts, but the only thing that he talked about for weeks was that coal.
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I sure have. I’ve also gave them these from my place of employment in their stockings and that was all that was in there one year
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Hasn’t this year been bad enough? Damn you’re harsh.
My mum gave us girls an orange one xmas because we had been absolute little poopers, then half an 15-30 minutes later brings out presents haha
No all kids do this it’s normal behaviour they are children! as a mum you just get on with it and clean up like we all do that is very mean to not give your kids Christmas presents for then acting like normal children
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I was given coal as a kid (charcoal and only charcoal) and it was a awful experience. Please don’t do this to your kids. They aren’t bad, they’re kids. Limit what they can have out at a time. Also don’t buy more toys. Get them something they need. But the coal thing is really unkind. I remember crying for hours thinking I was bad and didn’t really remember what I did wrong.
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You have let them get away with that behavior without consequences! So now they could care less!
Giving your child coal is downright mean I’m sorry.
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I NEVER use Christmas as a threat. I use everything else, there are plenty of things you can take from kids if needed but Christmas is a family holiday and I won’t be ruining that for anyone. If u must then why not this week do stocking with coal with a letter from santa warning about no presents next week.
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I’d not say leaving toys out warrants getting coal from Christmas. If they were really naughty cheeky children ike out of control I’d maybe consider it. But for them to be doing normal 'kid’s stuff just seems abit unfair. Maybe try between now an then to teach them that they are now old enough to help with picking up their toys etc.
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Threatening my child isn’t how I choose to parent, and this is one reason why we are choosing not to do Santa. Was there ever a time you didn’t feel like cleaning up? Kids have different priorities, so naturally it’s going to be a struggle, just like it’s a struggle when you don’t feel like it. Depending on the age, you also need to make it as easy as possible for them (lots of bins, use specific wording… “put your LEGO in the box, and books on the shelf” instead of “clean your room”. Motivate them by giving them praise when they clean, or make a fun game of it. Watch your wording and tone too. No one likes to do things because someone is barking orders at them all the time. I would focus more so on modeling the behaviour and providing natural consequences so they learn on their own, the value of cleanliness. (For example, “going outside to play sounds like so much fun but it’s a mess in here and we need to clean up first. If you help mommy clean the faster we can go outside to play”… “uh oh, you left your toys outside and now they are wet and ruined”)
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Not Christmas related but I once put everything that was on the floor of my daughters room in a bin bag, gave her the option to put everything away or it was going to the bin men, I only wanted to hoover! But she hasnt left it in such a state since x
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Wow imagine how upset and hurt your child would feel if you actually did that to them…Have fun paying for therapy girl.
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My brother got a piece of coal beside his bed 2 or 3 days before Christmas when he was around 4! He was also left a note from Santa saying he was watching and if his behaviour didnt improve he’d get a full bag Christmas morning!
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Maybe each kid gets up to 10 toys (whatever is manageable) & a hamper/box/shelf where the toys are to be stored: keep it simple. Keep the remaining of each child’s toys stored where the kids can’t get to them.
Sing the “Barney” clean-up song at regular scheduled intervals, for example before lunch, nap, school work, dinner, bed. Set a timer for a few minutes, preferably one with a dial that rotates & ticks, or an egg timer hourglass so they can see how much time is left. Any toys left out after it dings/sand is all in the bottom go in bags which you store out of reach & they have to earn it/them back with a chore.
Every so often (weekly, monthly) either exchange out all or half of the existing toys for ones in storage, or let them choose which toys to swap out with others, so they always have 10, minus any left out and not earned back yet.
The most important thing is to be consistent. If you do things on a schedule, point out the time on a clock (preferably analog) when it’s time to pick up the toys every time and use the timer, then with luck, after a while they will get in a routine. Eventually you may be able to drop the song and the timer and just point to the time or announce it’s clean up time. One day they may just check the time & do it automatically! But that will likely take months if not more.
For a special reward for doing something good, you can offer to pick up and put away a child’s toys one time or for one day. If they purposely damage the other one’s toy, they have to pick up the other kid’s toys for between a day and a week, depending on the severity. Mix it up every so often that they have to pick up and put away each other’s toys.
Being a parent is exhausting and requires self discipline and endless patience and effort. But the reward is neat kids who are responsible, understand consequences, have self-discipline and good self-esteem, do not get overwhelmed, and can tell time! Good luck, Mama!
Leave them coal few days before Christmas, might scare them thinking they not getting any presents 
then they might tidy up
Sounds like normal kid behavior to me. Maybe start making a game out of cleaning up and help them clean up.
BirthdAys Christmas and Easter are not meant to be training tools.
I did get coal it’s candy and tastes like black licorese.
Kids make a mess December is stressful without this years events.
Take a deep breath it temporary. Hugs
I don’t give me kids Christmas gifts for this exact reason. Its not mean it’s teaching them that they can’t mistreat their things and expect more. Enforce that they clean up, maybe even get rid of some stuff that they don’t need and donate them. I just did that. Half of everything is gone which makes clean up a little faster. Girl some kids just don’t need all the stuff! Dont buy it!
I also teach my kids that Christmas is about family and love not gifts so they know not to expect gifts anyway. Their well take mn care of i get them stuff all year long during this time of year we gift toys they no longer need to other children who actually would love to have a toy period. Everyday can be a teaching moment even Christmas. They will learn to appreciate their things.
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You should not ruin your children’s Christmas to teach a lesson youl become the grinch a good idea would be take away many items hide them Nd let them earn them back with good behaviour
Jesus people, she’s talking about putting a lump of coal in their stocking. Not replacing it for their gifts. They have gag gift coal lumps. I personally think it’s hilarious. It’s not going to physically or mentally hurt them. They’ll know they were naughty and need to straighten their shit up or it could be worse the following year.
We used to get coal. My dad worked for the power plant, so he had easy access to it. I remember being especially good one year because I really wanted a dirt bike. I got coal. A huge piece. There were no gifts hidden in the room, and my siblings had gifts to open. I just stayed quiet, without a word (you knew better), and after everyone was finished opening their gifts, my dad gave me a big hug and asked if I liked my gift. Knowing better than to say no, I said I did. He scooped me up and took me outside, to show me an old beat up dirt bike. It wasn’t much, but it was mine, and I couldn’t believe it. We didn’t have much, so I knew that had been a difficult task…getting me a dirt bike.
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Parenting is required 365 not just 1 day a year. Absolutely do NOT give your kids coal for Christmas.
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My kids from the time they were little were only allowed 2 or 3 toys at a time, and had to put a toy back if they wanted a new one… they also learned if mom cleans it goes in a garbage bag to be earned back with good behavior or chores!
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I taught my kids how to clean up by playing a game. I would do like musical chairs, I would tell them to pick up clothes first, and they had to do when music playing, then i would stop music, and let them rest for a few, then tell them to pick up cars, or legos or some toy, and they did while music going. That made it fun for them and not seem so overwhelming of a job to do. Also, when they had too many toys, I would bag up 1/2 of them and put out in our storageshed, then 6 months later, i would exchange them for the toys in house. For quite a few years, they thought they got new toys every six months. And it really cut down on the mess. When they have so many it makes a mess because they dont know what they want to play with. And by exchanging them out, they thought new toys because they hadn’t seen them for so long.
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It’s a good idea but be careful my mom gave my cousin some (it was chocolate) and he. cried and cried!
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My kids are now 35, 30,30. And keep a cleaner house than most people, so don’t give up on them!
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What about the 4 item rule…1 thing they want, 1 thing they need, 1 thing to wear, and 1 thing to read/or something like that…it’s all over pinterest!
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how old are the kids? you need to help them clean up if they are very young
My two oldest kids got a small bag of “coal” (it was bubblegum) in their stockings and there was a note that if they kept up their bad behavior, Santa wouldn’t even bring that next year. There was a note under the tree tho’ that said “if you were even a little bit good, you will find your one present under your bed but if not, then you were really bad and get nothing”. It worked for a few months…and when the bickering between them began, I pulled out the note from Santa and put it on the refrigerator to remind them.
Man a lot of people are saying thats too harsh and really going off…did none of y’all get your asses beat growing up? I gladly would have taken a coal christmas over a belt or a yard stick.
Kids need constant guidance not harsh discipline. You have to HELP them clean up the mess and explain to them WHY they need to take care of things, and SHOW them how to be respectful. Which means you have to give them LOTS of room to make mistakes, in which you will guide them to do it the right way with patience time and time again until they learn.
KIDS ARE NOT BORN WITH ALL THE SKILLS IN THE WORLD. YOU, THE ADULT NEEDS TO TEACH THEM HOW TO BEHAVE. Please don’t take out your frustrations on them because you were not equipped with the patience to put in this much time and effort for your kids. It’s a lot to do and it takes a lot and of course you aren’t perfect yourself and will make mistakes. But really what does that teach them in the end? That even though they are good kids despite minor details like this all their efforts will be discredited and they shouldn’t even try anyways.
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I ask once for them to pick something up. If it’s still there when I come back into the room it goes in the trash. My kid’s learned pretty quick I wasn’t messing around. I haven’t given them coal though.
How old are these children? To have them completely skip out on Christmas because of problems such as not cleaning up after themselves, seems harsh. Kids practice what they’re taught. Discipline at the time… but long term punishment like no Christmas can be traumatic.
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I completely understand feeling fed up, especially at the holidays. But habits are learned over time and unlearned just the same. I’m assuming there are no underlying behavioral issues at play since none were mentioned and they are children over the age of 5, so it is just plain old spoiled kid syndrome. How about scaling back the holiday and in the meantime simply making all of their toys vanish. Box them up. Donate what you will and store the rest. Set clear expectations and rules. Let them know they CAN earn their things back with proper behavior but that a repeat will mean the items are gone for good. Give things back slowly.
For Christmas give them clothing or books. Perhaps basic art supplies or something. Explain to them that given their behavior more toys aren’t warranted. Let them know that won’t change until they do.
But follow through. Don’t threaten what you aren’t prepared to actually do.
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Actions,learning experience, redirection, and consequences ALL YEAR.
No Christmas gifts or only coal will probably make their behavior worse because they will start to resent you.
I got coal once for vhristmas and though i wasnt getting anything at all. I warched everyone else open their gifts and then my parents looked at me and said that the coal was just a joke and they brought out my gifts. I was brutally enraged with them.
My kids do the same thing but ill never give them coal for it. They gotta learn like we did and so we have to be patient. Some kids learn differently than others and at different speeds. Some kids arent gonna want to clean all the time. We all did it too.
I got coal when I was 8 bc I said santa didn’t exist… Mind you I’m the youngest and my older brother is 3 years older than me so literally everyone knew already
If you dont teach them a lesson it will only get worse and start taking video games and tv away get a trash bag and start tossing their stuff in you can hide it or toss it out they learn fast. Just a few ideas
Always a good time of year to donate some toys if they have too many 
tell them if it’s still of the floor by a certain time you will choose stuff at random off the floor to put in a black sack and donate
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I did the elf on the shelf (: one day my oldest wasnt listening, next day the elf got her coal candy €: told to listen and santa watching. I also do make my kids clean up after they finish playing, if not. Its getting thrown away. Or on the curb with a sign saying free… Within a couple hours those are gone. Let them watch other kids take the toy. They will learn fast trust me.
Heck yea. Make it a learning experience!!! Besides Christmas is about family not the presents!!!
I’ve given my kids coal every year. There is no way kids can always been good. So Santa brings you coal every year. The amount depends on their overall behavior for the year. Really hard years, you need some extras coal to warm your heart. It’s great to hear the readings they come up with of why they got the amount they did.
I also have given one a box of rocks. In our house somehow it came to be that if you were a rude, ungrateful mean kid that’s what you deserved. A box of rocks. One year around 10 the middle was relentless. If he thought it would get him in trouble he would be doing it. With the attitude of what are you going to do about it. So while all his siblings got cool presents they asked for on their list. He opened a box of rocks. It broke his heart a little and it was so hard to watch. However after that he turned his attitude around. And started to make the effort to be kind and think about how his actions affect others in the house.
Maybe put a letter on their stockings from Santa explaining that they made the naughty list and need to redeem themselves by learning to clean up and be more respectful to their mom in doing so. I wouldn’t say anything about them potentially earning their gifts. And if they do catch on and start doing things without being asked then give them their gifts. Maybe also consider making them clean out their toys and donating to the less fortunate before Christmas. We used to do this every year.
Use the trash bag method, you tell them to clean their room and they have an allotted amount of time and when their time is up whatever is not picked up or put where it’s supposed to go then it gets put in the trash bag, you put the trash bag up in your room/closet whatever and make them earn their stuff back. By chores or by keeping their rooms clean, whatever you decide but it works for alot of kids.
The problem is… these kids are human sour patch kids. First they’re sour then they’re sweet. As much as my son has HISDAYS that drive me bananas and have me shaking my head half the time and wanting to crawl up in a ball and become an alcoholic, he’s so sweet too. Like make my heart melt sweetness. So if I were to give him coal I’d cry myself to sleep to see his face when he realizes I think he deserves coal for Christmas. Call me a sap but these kids deserve better. They deserve more understanding. They deserve less responsibility as kids. Yes they need to know rules and understand their boundaries and have respect for those around them especially parents especially US MOMS lol but at the end of the day the world is big, its overwhelming, its rough, and well I think if we want them to do more around the house we gotta get creative on ways to make it fun and fair for them as kids. Exhale & make sure you’re doing all you can first.
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It’s been a rough year for the kids. I personally wouldn’t be that harsh. It’s been hard on us…and them.
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My sister gave my oldest son coal1 Christmas when he was 4 or 5. Boy was my hubby mad at her. Didn’t bother her ehat next Easter she gave him a black egg. My one sister cancelled Christmas cause her kids wouldn’t do what they were told. A couple weeks later she surpised them with Christmas a#ter they started listening to her. My other sis wrapped stuff she had given her kids for Christmas that they never played with or used. She didn’t buy anything that year. Just regifted the old stuff.
I try do creative things. You’ll ultimately have to try different things and figure out what works best for YOU AND YOUR KIDS.
- Shakedown: I take down all the fun bedding. I take all books except a few. I leave them one stuffed animal. I leave the bare minimum in their room. All the fun pictures on the wall, gone. They have to earn them back.
- List of privileges: I made a list of Needs and privileges for my kids(6 & 9, and boy and girl with different interests). If they leave their clothes out, they lose the privilege of choosing their own clothes. They throw a tantrum at bath time, they lose their bath toys and play time.
They sell chocolate that looks like coal 
my mom got my brother as kids a few times
Not cool they are children and thats what they do you just have to keep teaching
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I usually don’t mind toys out during the day but once 730pm hits, it’s clean up time! Anything left out, goodbye 
Kids are kids. I’ve never thought someone would actually do this
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Lol. I am thinking of putting a few coals in the stockings 
Sounds like they are overwhelmed with toys. They dump because they have too many to look through to find what they want. Then they are overwhelmed by the amount to clean up. Do you ever look at your own work and just don’t want to do it because it’s too much? Have them pick out their favorites and put them in a smaller more manageable container.
When it is time to clean up set a visual timer and anything left gets put away.
I try teaching my children that we give from our hearts so I think taking away gifts for negative behavior sends a mixed message. Consistent consequences for negative behavior year round seem much more effective than threats of coal and no presents. I think it would be reasonable to tell them if they want more stuff for Christmas that each child needs to make a bag of stuff they no longer play with to give away to someone less fortunate than they are and that might help alleviate some of the problem.
All my babies toys are outside in totes and they haven’t even asked for them. I have been letting others go through them for their children or Grand children.
Try leading by example! Yelling your head off without actively creating moments to learn will result in resentment - NOT a clean area! They’ll learn to hate holidays, and ultimately YOU.
Girl I totally feel your frustrations. I have been in this house months with our children and have had it.
Lol my husband was just talking about getting empty boxes and filling them with coal.
My mom always put a “bag of coal” in our stockings which was really just weird shaped chocolates in a black wrapper.
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Get the elf and have it leave a note from Santa. That has helped. Also have a friend call and act.like they are Santa. I have given then the chocolate Coal before too. But the elf works best in my house
Get kids clothes instead of more toys . If they don’t play with what they already have sell there toys or give them away or hide it . They will learn fast enough to pick up there toys.
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Me and my siblings got up to a lump of coal one Xmas morning. Mum says we were really naughty, even had a huge water fight in the house. She sent us to the park Xmas morning and it was hell seeing all the neighbourhood kids w their new bikes etc. While we were there she ended up having a relaxing bath then filled our stockings up w gifts. Was def a lesson learnt.
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What a sin 
. Kids are kids. Its all a learning process to them. This world is all new, you can’t expect them to have perfect behavior for only being on the world for a few short years. My children are 4&6 & everyday we keep our house routines the same, it’s all a learning process. Even if they do one right thing for me they are definitely aware of how proud I am of them! Then again we do everything together like cleaning up their bedroom and try and make it fun!
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It’s a little harsh. Especially since you’re trying to enforce it right before Christmas. Maybe make that your new years resolution. Don’t take it out on your kids…
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My ex wanted me to take away Santa from my 8 year old this year cause she was acting up, I did not agree as its Christmas and not having Santa come will be devastating for a 8 year old and ruin her Christmas spirit. As for coal, just leave it. Their just being kids . Wait until their older then you will be really wishing they were dumping toys out instead of taking your vehicle during the night lol
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Part of parenting is being a nag and “reminding” them what they need to do ON A REGULAR BASIS. Not just daily, but multiple times daily, until they get it. Nowhere in your post does it say you’ve done this, I got the impression you think you can tell them once, and your job us done. Don’t take Christmas away from your kids. Show them the right way to act, don’t just tell them. Coal may help you reinforce that the mess is not acceptable.
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I send some to my sister every year since she was 12. Lol
Take their things away from them until they are respectful . They will catch on pretty fast .
As far as toys twice a year (before birthday and Christmas) we go through the toys and donate what she doesn’t play with anymore. It keeps her from having too many things and teaches her about giving to others.
But I think taking away Christmas all together is kind of harsh, especially for this. Kids are messy. As the parent you have to stay on top of them sometimes, it’s part of the job
I remembered getting coal in my stalking I laughed cause you were able to open it and there was candy inside of it. So if you do decide to do that it doesn’t always have to be real coal.
Kids are kids … theres gonna come a day when u wish with all ur heart that u had toys dumped all over ur house just one more time. I miss my kids being little and I’m never to be a grandma .
Before answering this what are the ages of the children?
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Yes! We have because i remind my children ALL YEAR that Santa is watching. Christmas came he got presents from from us but Santa brought him coal. In our house Santa only brings 1 present.
I’ll be damned if I turn into their built in slave. If they can’t clean up then I do and if mama cleans well I come in with a trash bag and get rid of whatever isn’t cleaned. Clothes, shoes, toys, idgaf. . . In the trash it goes. When you are shoeless, naked, and without things to play with then lesson learned 
My mom did this when my sister and I were kids. She lets us think about it and then later that day before dinner she brought out our gifts talked about why it happened and then let us open our gifts
Okay lemme tell y’all THIS IS TOXIC! Kids are kids but seriously, taking Christmas away?
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Don’t take the joy of Christmas from your children. Let them believe in Santa & sing happy birthday to baby Jesus, & rip into gifts under the tree. IlThey are only children for a short while. They’re still learning how to be good humans. Don’t turn their hearts from Christmas.
Discipline over punishment.
So get rid of the stuff they don’t use. It doesn’t sound like they want to play with it anyway, and no one wants to clean it up. Less stuff = less mess. Put it in a bin in the garage or attic if you feel the need to give it a trial period to see if they truly miss it, but my guess is they’ll never notice. Give them ONE toy for Christmas, even if that’s the gift from Santa. Family can buy clothes and books and experiences (swim lessons, etc). None of us need as much crap as we tend to exchange at Christmas.
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My mom used to tell us kids if it wasn’t cleaned by the end of the day it would be gone and she meant it.
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Just take their toys away when when don’t pick them up? My 4 year old understands that if she doesn’t do what I say then there are consequences and toys will be taken away.
You can’t start trying to enforce something right at Christmas time.
How old are the children? Isn’t this just normal children behavior? Especially if they’re aged 1-6-7’ish. More so if they’re boys or free spirited girls. I have one daughter who I’ve never had to tell her to do anything ever-she always did what was expected of her. She’s 16 now and still by far the easiest child ever. It’s rare, but happens on occasion. It’s just her personality. My 6 year old is super active and creative and always moving and jumping and creating messes. You have to tell him 100x to pick something up bc his brain is going 100 mph at all times, and he will move onto the next activity, forgetting he needs to clean up the 1st. That’s also just his personality and they’re 2 different kids. So I’d say it’s just normal for kids to misbehave a little if they’re young. I wouldn’t punish them with coal if they are the way they are either due to lack of consistent rules or if that’s just how they are. They’ll be heartbroken. Have you tried an Elf on the Shelf? Seems to be working for my 6 year old.