Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone been in this situation?
Are you sure he’s not gay?
I am not a doctor but it sounds like he is making excuses. I don’t think he is being fully honest .
Go find another girl to bring home
Sounds like too many excuses…watch his movements and track his activities…I bet my last dollar that he is involved with someone else…might not be physical yet but heading that way…
I’ve done this same insane story and have the t-shirt!
He’s seeing someone try following him in a different car in see where he go
Men not wanting to be sexual when a woman is pregnant is totally normal.
First of all he needs to cut porn and masterbating out entirely…then you two can communicate from there…if he still cannot try to be sexual with you after that and work on it together, then you’ll have to decide if that’s something you can live with for the rest of your life.
2 months and your pregnant…and he had been telling you he wanted a child for a long time……nuff said…
He could even be going through baby blues.
The porn addition,alone, will definitely make it almost impossible to get aroused in a "normal " sexual relationship.
I think you should back off and stay close for your daughter because it sounds like he really is the problem.
If he wants to make things work, he will do it on his own time. Not yours. Live your life. You never know what will happen down the road but don’t spend your precious time waiting around for him to make any commitments.
Try to set the moon, wear a sexy lingerie, try to role play. I know a couple that is married and they are still young however they barely have any sexy time. It could be also that your partner is disturbed by witnessing birth, we know it’s not a pretty picture it’s beautiful seeing a child being born and yet can be messy. If none of those ideas work, maybe he should see a specialist.
- I’m sorry you’re going through this 2)There’s nothing wrong with you, totally not your fault 3) maybe you’d both be happier eventually if you moved on. He’s stated quite obviously and repeatedly he’s not into you that way anymore and I feel like he’s probably not being fully honest as to avoid hurting you. You deserve a full, healthy relationship
He needs to see a doctor asap. There’s more going on than what he’s saying. It’s really not a bad thing but it’s not talked about. He can bring it up to his primary doctor even.
Sounds like he may be sleeping with someone else….
I’m going to go a completely different direction-
Could he may be gay?
The wild nights etc before he met you could have been him suppressing his true feelings. He’s comfortable with you and happy so he sees he doesn’t need to keep the charade up.
You say he doesn’t look at other women…. I would maybe just have a sit down with him and tread carefully xx
It could be the fact that he’s having what kind of like postpartum depression for guys. I can’t remember the name. But some guys get similar feelings that we do after having a baby. I’d have him contact his doctor and maybe possibly a therapist.
Well, after you described his past it sounds like he really got around. That alone would’ve been enough for me not to let him near me because he could’ve picked up STD’s going from woman to woman like that. If he says he’s not attracted to you, are you absolutely positive that he’s not already going to another woman?? If he won’t show you affection by cuddling with you, hugging you, giving you a kiss then I would say he’s not interested in you at all. Are you providing him with food and shelter out of your own pocket? If so, he may be there only for that reason.
He might be having erection problems - maintaining etc kills the libido- it’s easier to blame others then face the true
My opinion is that porn is the issue. It causes unrealistic expectations and you get instant gratification with no attachment or work needed to maintain proper relationships. Much easier to watch porn then having to work on your relationship. Society says it is ok but infact it is damaging to both parties.
He’s cheating. Let him go
put him on ashwagandha and see
Could be asexual? Look into it before jumping to conclusions that he doesn’t want to be with you. It may not be something medical.
He’s stringing you along. Bail and Co parent.
He’s a sex addict addicted to pornography and getting his needs met other ways. It’s not you girl it’s him. Don’t take the blame and make him see this is a huge problem
Ur a single mom but have a Partner ? Im comfuse
Maybe his testosterone is low or maybe he has erectile dysfunction. Men don’t like to tell anyone this because they think it’s unmanly. He needs to see a Dr
Personally, If he was always a sex addict and out of the blue loses sexual attraction towards you and there’s no affection at all the relationship is DEAD! He’s cheating … No doubt in my mind. 3 years and nothing?? Girl, that isn’t love. That’s dependency. Seems like you’re a friend not a partner. Dump him and find true happiness.
There’s a lot of guys that after a woman becomes a mother they see them as that and not a sexual partner, I’ve read that Elvis was like that to , couldn’t preform sexually once the woman became a mother.
Could have his testosterone level checked some people have to get shots
my ex was into a lifestyle(he’s not gay) that made him the same way. in the end, it’s what ended our relationship. try a sex therapist
He have love for you as a mother of his child. But not as a woman. Please it is NOT your fault. He wasn’t ready for a commitment in the first place. You got prego after two months of sayings and he wasn’t ready for all that responsibility. Time to let go. When someone is meant for you, the Universe will gravitate that person towards you. What you need to do is make sure you don’t have any STDS. Let him cheat in peace and coparent with his child in peace also.
So for one thing it sounds like a porn addiction. You can laugh or whatever but for some people anything can become an addiction. It is known to cause ED and a slew of other issues. Let it be known that you are NOT the cause of his issues. I struggled. STRUGGLED. With porn. Even though my wife is bangin. Even though I love more than I could ever say. Ask him if he would be willing to talk to someone about it in an effort to save your relationship.
Is he on antidepressants? Those can severely lower libido
Here we go: list of reasons why. 1. He’s possiable gay, and is in the closet. 2. Hes on antidepressants. 3. Hes sleeping with someone else and just loves you as the mother of his child.
Before jumping to conclusions, have his testosterone lives checked. It could be a medical issue. Also he could be asexual. But if he was once sexually attracted to you and is no longer, then I seriously doubt he’s asexual. Have his levels checked…If they’re normal then I say it’s time to move on. Why stay with someone that doesn’t desire you? But first check for medical reasons…
Doctor! Maybe meds and therapy
If it’s not due to medical reasons it’s time to move on… never wait for someone to become clear on what to do with you… time is short live happily
Changes in libido, ups and downs is very normal. If he truly is unsure why he is feeling this way but wants to fix it to be able to be intimate with you again than have him go see his Dr and get his hormones and health checked
Porn is the root of all evil, after a while you will not feel sexually attracted to your partner, you would not want to touch them or have sex with them. The problem is not you the problem is his porn habit. He’d rather jerk off to porn than to touch his wife… That’s where the problem is. Porn is really evil. If he stops watching porn and start giving that same fire and attention to his wife your bed will be so much warmer
Porn is an addiction, porn kills your libido for your partner, he needs help and to admit that he has a problem
This doesn’t seem like your fault in the slightest hun hes seems to be going through something that only he can handle fixing. Porn can be addictive and has been known in some cases to make making love more difficult but usually it’s the other way around. Maybe his sexual attraction is to something else entirely. Give him time space love and trust what hes telling you he wouldn’t go and communicate this much to you about it if he didnt truly love you.
You got pregnant after just 2 short months of dating. He didn’t have the chance to figure out if he could fall in love with you or if it was just lust he was feeling. He loves you because you’re the mother to his baby but he’s not in love with you and never was. When you do date again don’t jump into bed so soon otherwise you’ll probably have the same issue with your next baby daddy.
Porn addictions cause things like this
So many of these comments are so ignorant. I don’t think it’s your fault or his. If you are saying he has tried to have sex with you and couldn’t perform, then it could be a more seriously issue. Have him get testosterone levels checked, see if he’s depressed, and of he is willing. Keep trying new things that might help.
Maybe because you deserve better. Someone who is attracted to you sexually, mentally and physically. Its a sign to move on. Next
I bet he’s sexually attracted to someone else. You need to move on…
Sounds like he sees you more as a friend or meal ticket than a lover and partner.
Tell him to go to therapy, maybe that will get to the root of his problem.
I think your a little deluded mrs he doesn’t want you so you need to take a look in the mirror and tell yourself your worth more and you deserve to be wanted loved treated how you should be hold your head up high and let go sometimes knowing what you can’t have could do a 360 turn on him play hard not needy good luck
Look at least he has told you and you can fund a way to move on as parents and hopefully friends, get yourself stable and move on .
Counseling to see if depression, check testosterone levels, or could be he isn’t into you anymore he pretty much got what he wanted and that was that.
You’ve been friend zoned basically. He needs to answer you honestly whether he is attracted to anyone else if not then it really is him that’s the problem possibly medically
Get testosterone levels checked, psa checked prostate checked
Ugggg…should have put the last part first. Are you paying his bills? He is a porn addict…
He may need counselling!
Some men find it difficult after a baby has come out of there!
It sounds strange, but he may feel inadequate.
Sounds like he lost desire for you once you became pregnant he was a male sl#T before he got with you so there’s noithing wrong with him. He’s trapped that’s what he thinking cause of the child and I reckon he’s playing up
I would ask him if hes sexually attracted to other woman and if not then maybe ask him if he would consider going to speak to his doctor it could just be a hormone thing x
Postpartum depression can affect men too and badly and can occur when your still pregnant too. A common symptom is loss of sex drive. He may need to see a therapist.
Sounds like he’s sticking around for his daughter.
It could mean he’s low on testosterone. I had a friend who was newly Weds have this problem. She really thought it was her. It finally got to the point he went to the doctor bc she was really hurt by this. It was humiliating for him to go to doctor and admit. His testosterone was so low. He had no sex drive at all. It got fixed in no time.
pornography… it rewires their brains. so much so that some (especially heavy users of porn) can only “perform” [sic] to artificial pornographic simulation and not with a live flesh and blood woman. sad but true.
Cut him loose find someone to be happy with
He isn’t in it for long run… get out now, set up a parenting plan for visitation etc & move on… do your life for you & your child…
He might just be a dick.
He doesn’t want to cheat on his real partner?
Dump him. Find someone who thinks you are delicious.
You need to be a good example for your children.
I’m really surprised no one brought up the potential p*rn addiction. That can give people unrealistic expectations about how sex should be.
Yea ur pregnant. Men tend to get weirded out about having sex with a woman while pregnant.
Geesh. Ask him if he is less attracted to you serially because he is afraid to hurt his daughter while doing the deed.
Sounds like he isn’t even trying, and is making excuses. He can be a dad to your kid without you feeling the need to be with him in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with you, and it’s unfair that you have to feel that way. Find someone who wants to be with you. Intimacy makes a relationship strong, but there are other important factors, too. Find someone who loves all of you and makes you feel good about yourself, not someone who always makes you feel like something is wrong with you. Also, your daughter will see her mom as someone who loves and cares about herself, and gets respect, and won’t allow anyone to treat her poorly.
Have him get his testosterone checked. My husband has gone through this. Medication and diabetes can cause this
I think that behavior is typical with a porn addiction. Do your homework on that. Maybe counseling should be an option.
Guys suffer post natal depression too. He needs to seek help either for his mental state or his physical
Alright. So clearly he knows there is a problem, you know there is a problem, and yet he’s done NOTHING to work towards fixing/addressing it?! That in and of itself speaks volumes. If he knows the level and unhappiness and lack of self confidence you feel because he’s not “sexually attracted to you” and he’s done nothing to work on fixing that…. Leave. Jesus, if your body is good enough to have a child for him, then it’s good enough for him to please sexually and hold intimately. My husband now goes out of way to be sure he fixes things if I’m unhappy…that’s true love. Ignoring a problem is never going to make it better.
You aren’t the problem.
It’s because you’re pregnant sometimes your partner won’t find you sexually while you’re in that condition
Definitely not you! Please tell him to go get his levels checked. Low testosterone can make men not want sex at all!
He don’t want to help himself & He won’t do it for you either. Then leave.
Girl, I’ve been with my husband 4 years have 2 kids with him (2 kids from a previous relationship) and if he could attack me everyday he would:sweat_smile: I honestly feel so much uglier than I did before i had kids, and I tell him all the time, and he just tells me how beautiful he thinks I am (and how his friends at work think I’m hot too:rofl:) so if he’s not having a hormonal issue I would leave because he can still be there for yall with out keeping you in a relationship your not happy in… and it honestly sounds like he cheating, so it really may be blessing that he won’t sleep with you…
Maybe his equipment isn’t working Properly?
He bs you I never heard the most bs tongue come out of a man men ger horny for the littlest things
Firstly…its not you.
My husband told me the exact same thing . Turned out he was impotent
He was diabetic and on meds for depression /high blood pressure which affected his ability …but it was my fault never his.
If he loves you he needs to accept it and do something about it. The drs can help .
The majority of these comments are outrageous. The problem is definitely not you and it doesn’t he’s mean gay nor does it mean he’s cheating. The most likely answer is that he has an addiction to pornography and what he is experiencing is actually quite a common issue for men as a result of said addiction and it ruins lives and relationships. He can seek self help tutorials or professional therapy but the bottom line is that the pornography has to go.
Maybe is attracted to men
He needs to go to the doctor for testing. There could be something actually physically wrong with him.
It’s not you! First foremost!
He has a sexual addiction!
If there is no attraction there’s no relationship!
Time to let go
I personally would seek sexual therapy for the two of you. Some sort of counseling to communicate maybe what he’s missing. Definitely isn’t anything you did. Sounds like hes off psychologically
You probably need some kind of counseling he might need to see a regular doctor if none of that works it might be time to move on.
If you really love him I would recommend seeing a doctor for a full work up, including bloodwork, and seeing a psychologist, there are also sexual therapists.
Have you talked him to about trying to join while he’s Masturbating to see if that helps. Maybe it Just takes him a while to get up and he’s embarrassed about it.
It’s called porn addiction honey he needs help
Maybe he is gay! Not trying to be rude but if you are in no way attracted to your women. Just maybe. He wanted a child, a man can’t give that to him, naturally anyways.
I had a friend with the same problem . They did try counseling and after many months was told that the porn had a lot to do with it. He was watching porn and apparently that was the only time he got any urges.
Maybe he is unsure of his sexuality? That might explain why he has no problem watching by videos that include men
Maybe he realized that he loves you as the mother of his child, but he’s not IN love with you. Maybe he respects you more now.
If you’re currently pregnant… it freaks some guys out. he could be having a depression episode. I would encourage him to talk to his Dr.
You ever think that maybe you only want him sooooo much because he’s not wanting you? … honest question … either way … seems like you both need to do some soul searching … therapy- single or as a couple … never know what you’ll find when u take it a lil deeper than sex … Best wishes y’all figure out how to work it out …
so you been with a guy for 2 yrs & he doesn’t really love you in a intimate way, just loves you because you had his baby, That’s not love, that’s not going to change, Leave & find someone who loves you in all ways.
He may have a medical issue that is causing ED. Some men are embarrassed to talk about this so the typical response is that they don’t know what’s wrong. A talk with his physician and a referral to a specialist can help. Put the emotional side of this aside for a minute and concentrate on the medical side. Leave the blame game alone and work together on it.
So I’m gonna say what no one else is saying. Maybe start wearing some sexy lingerie or something to really get his attention and if it doesn’t get his attention then one of the people on this post is right and maybe he’s not sexually attracted to women. Maybe ask him what you could do to help the situation. Bring another person in for a 3 sum? Tell him you’d be interested in that if it would help (if your interested in that of course) good luck Momma!!
Bring in a third party. Yes it’s normal. He may need a fantasy played out. Seeing you with another woman or man. Or he may want to be with another woman (or man) and you. He’ll play around and have fun. Fantasize. Ask him a fantasy he has