Leave him . I’m cutting my mother in law and father in law out of our life as soon as we move
Cut them out. And dont feel guilty about it.
Cut ties. Your kids don’t deserve that.
Just because he is your father doesn’t mean you have to have a relationship with him. If he’s toxic, cut him tf off.
We “kids” literally owe our parents nothing… if they are toxic then they are toxic and gots to go with ZERO FAWK GIVEN…
Yep. Disrespect and spite caused it for me!
Toxic is toxic… even if it’s family!!! Don’t let anyone treat you that way and set firm boundaries. Sometimes it’s best to move on from a relationship, maybe at some point you can re visit that relationship but for now it really doesn’t sound healthy for you or your family.
Sometimes we have to let go of toxic family members, still love and pray for him, but keep your peace and distance.
You can only forgive someone who is sorry, it sounds like to me he’s not sorry and keeps on going. I would 100% cut him out. I cut my dad off, he’s always been in and out of my life at his convenience. I’m talking years without seeing me. Once I got older and had kids, he probably met me oldest twice and my youngest two not at all. I’d be surprised if he knew any of their names. He got a new gf 2-3 years ago and started posting pics talking about his “daughters” which her kids and how he was “papaw” with her grandchildren. So right then and there I decided I was done and I’m not putting my kids through that kind of confusion and hurt. 1000% is cut yours off for acting like that too. With it being a random change I’d say he probably is on drugs girl. I’m sorry.
My mother in law was cut out of our children’s lives. She is a very toxic person. She crossed the line when I heard her tell my toddler “your mommy doesn’t love you but I do.”
I cut my father off when I found out he was spreading lies about me and my sisters. I felt really bad about it, but had to do it because it was hurtful. Sometimes, we need to distance ourselves from those who hurt is whether they are family or not.
Your situation sounds like very good reasons to cut off contact. That’s unacceptable behavior.
I did, my father doesn’t have much to do with my kids anyway, but my mother does and I never get her ever to watch my kids unless it’s an emergency and then I find out that she winging about watching the kids and lying about stuff that wasn’t said, she never visits us , never ask about the kids, but is happy to cause trouble for us, its too much drama so I cut her out of all of our lives, but she hasn’t rang me so she likes it this way anyway
Me! Toxic ppl will not be allowed around my children no matter the relation. Blood doesn’t make you family.
I’m trying, My MIL is very toxic everything is about her ,the lies and constant drama it was never ending , the last straw was her saying she caught me cheating on her son. its not easy but sometimes it has to be done. we are so much better off without all that negativity. , Hope everything works out for you x
You don’t need to be harassed, not by a family member, let him go, let it go for your well being
block him on all sites n stay away from them stop the drama
Toxic is toxic
Toxic is toxic period
First of all BLOCK him - do nothing to contact him. Do not let him contact your children,etc. Sounds like your father is having a mental break down - so beware -
I cut off my sister and her husband complete 3.5 years ago because of stolen money, stolen business that was started together with a 50/50 contract, hidden money earned through that business, and the way her husband treated my son. No regrets. There will never be a relationship again.
My parents are on a contingency basis with my kids. They were/are drug users so I try to keep my kids away from all that mess. I made it clear if they are mentally unstable, using or acting toxic they are cut off and when they are stable again we can reassess. I’ve been called names, they always threaten with calling cps and making up stuff, and they’ve stolen from me. So I keep them a arms length away from my family. But never feel obligated to keep toxic family around. Toxic is toxic regardless.
I have one simple rule:
If you don’t like me then by extension, you don’t like my children.
It’s that easy.
This sounds like aberrant behavior and out of the norm for him. Can you find out if he knows what made him snap? I’d want to talk to him in a public place with a friend along as a witness. If you and other family members can get him to go to the doctor’s and get checked for a stroke, dementia, blood clots, and have a brain scan, whatever to figure out why he snapped all of a sudden.
If there’s no explanation other than he’s an a-hole, feel free to tell him why you’re cutting him out of your lives, then do so. If there are any conditions under which you’d reconsider (gets physical and/or mental help for at least a year, apologizes and shows changed behavior), let him know. If you’ve done your best, then absolutely cut him out of your lives. Feel free to find and invite good people to fill the role of grandpa in your kids’ lives.
Cut ties your dad is being a jerk
I did this. I cut my dad’s whole side off (minus my dad)
Because one of my grandparents treated my sister like shit. To the point she made my sister cry at my son’s party.
So the next round she decided because of my sister she didn’t wanna come to a party for my son. So I said fuck it. It’s been two years now. And it was a hard choice but the best.
Cut ties and move on…to hell with what your siblings think, they don’t pay your bills…and unless they have perfect lives, their input is irrelevant…
You don’t have to explain yourself to your family members. Be careful they are the feeders to the toxicness. Stay on your own level. They are only trying to bring you down to their level. You keep pushing forward with your family. You are strong, you are beautiful, you are loving, you are worthy, you are loved and you will live to be happy
I cut my brother completely out of my life. The line was when I offered him a place to live and get clean at but he picked his nasty girlfriend instead. I told him that I refuse to let my children be around someone like him and I bgg havent spoken yo him since
Toxic not healty cut ties
All your stories break my heart. I am so proud of you all for taking steps to stop abusive family members from harming you or your immediate family. Some of you were so young too! Congratulations on fighting to bring peace to your and your children’s lives. Thank you for sharing your stories and support for this woman with problematic family members. you all!
Something may be wrong with your dad’s mental health perhaps. That’s too bad. Still I would stay away from him and if the rest of the family is upset so be it. Move away.
No but the father did because wasn’t getting his way she was happier anyway with him
You can forgive and love from a distance. Send cards for holidays and wish them well. Don’t say anything negative. They will eventually get the message.
Toxic is toxic doesn’t matter who it is.
I cut out my mother. No regrets.
Family can be toxic & you absolutely do not have to deal with them especially if they lash out at your kids because they have a problem with you. If you just give in and forgive him it will happen again because he’ll think you’ll let him get away with it.
Yup my step brother and stepsister
What did the MIL do???
Not family member should treat u bad no matter who it is
You don’t have to accept unacceptable behavior. Bless you and yours.
YOUR PEACE IS YOUR PEACE! It doesn’t matter if they are family. TOXIC IS TOXIC. Be firm
In your decisions. Be are honest with him and tell him how you feel…you have every right to do that. You have to set boundaries; even with parents. It hurts, but you have to protect yourself. And some of the best advice I ever got was, “sometimes the hardest thing, and the right thing are often the same thing”.
If it takes away from your peace, it is essentially taking a part of you from your kids. Think of it in terms of your kids being the top of the heap.
I feel ya 100. I stay with the in laws too and I get sick and tired if them telling me how I should discipline my 18 mths old and what he should eat and what I should feed my dog. Husband doesn’t stand up for us and I’m at that point to go off planet without them. Mother n law wants to be up our butts 24/7 just because I have my husband’s first child and my husband is the only one that wants anything to do with her out of 5 kids. I’m just not happy at all anymore.
Sever ties. Don’t lose your self respect, don’t allow your kids to see you forgive or minimalize and repeat normalized behavior. Turn the page, he had no problem doing just that to you and your babies.
Blood of the coven is thicker then water of the womb you have no reason so remain around people that don’t benefit you mentally emotionally and spiritually
Cut ties and move on. Toxic is toxic no matter the blood/ bond
Fuck him off.not worth the drama.
If you’re worried about drugs. Walk away. No need to have any addict near your children. EVER. Doesn’t matter who the person is.
You have your own home and family now . Worry about them … move on. Don’t bring toxicity to your children they don’t deserve it
Cut em’ loose! It will be worth your mental health as well as your children’s. Cut many toxic family members out of mine and my kids lives and life is so much easier. Just because my donor helped make me doesn’t give him the right to treat me the way he did (DV child survivor). My children will never know the damage that toxic person can cause. It’s been 2 years and they stopped asking about him around 3 months of him being cut out.
Just because they’re family doesn’t mean it’s okay for them to treat you and your family like that. Toxic is toxic, family or not, remove the toxicity. It helps. Trust me
I think you and your parents both overreacted about the car. I assume there were other disagreements as well. Give it time and recognize this is probably better for your relationship to not live together. Put it behind you and
Move on from arguments that wouldn’t have happened most likely if it weren’t for having to live with them.
Don’t let the rest of your family try and talk you into something you don’t want to do! If you have had enough of your fathers crap and want him out of your life that is your decision… he is your father yes, but you don’t deserve to be treated that way especially by your dad, don’t let your siblings try and talk you out of it. Your old enough to choose what you want. Good luck!
I cut my father out of mine & my kids lives over a year ago. Best decision I ever made.
Toxic is toxic. It doesn’t matter if they’re your family or not.
I tell anyone who uses the “that’s still your dad” bullshit on me, that they should focus that energy on him and tell him to stop being fucking toxic instead of telling me to allow the toxicity “because he’s my dad”
“It ain’t nuttin to cut that bitch off” -K CAMP
In all seriousness, my mother in law did that to us. Let us come stay, refused rent but tried to dictate our lives like we’re little children. It was already hard enough transitioning from being two grown ass adults to temporarily living in her house because we sold ours and the money was temporarily stuck in escrow. She stone face packed up all our shit (which was fine) but also packed the kids stuff too…and then tried to make us the bad guys.
“When they can no longer control you, they try to control how others see you” is the biggest truth for her and her narcissistic ways. You have every right to cut that shit out for good.
I cut all ties with my mother about a year ago. I get a lot of crap from people for it, but I know my life is alot better now and so are my kids lives. Toxic is toxic and toxicity can NOT be tolerated especially when it comes to our children.
Snip snip. YOUR peace is what matrers
Maybe he has something neurologically wrong?
snip snip… no way. He sounds toxic AF
Due to a toxic relationship & causing me more anxiety then it was worth: I cut my dad & 3 sisters out of mine and my kids lives. It started when one of my sister’s and I got into a huge fight; she was in the wrong. My dad never stood up for me. My middle child got involved & she threatened to call the police on both of us. Also to file harassment charges. They live in AZ; I live in RI. I told her good luck. There were other petty crap. The absolute final straw that made me completely sever ties-my daughter & I & her best friend were in a roll over due to black ice. God was watching over us; we all walked away with minor injuries. (Car totaled) Zero phone call from my dad saying he was glad we were alive. I was beyond pissed & hurt; he could have list his daughter & granddaughter and he went radio silent. I made peace with our relationship was completely over and moved on. It was not easy; however mentally it was awesome not to deal with the BS
Cut them off , why should u be told to forgive someone who threatened your family especially your children , your kids don’t need that in there lives and yous will be a lot happier and the rest of your family will just have to deal with it
Sounds like drugs to me
My children’s great grand mother. She was making up lies and intentionally starting things between my ex husband(her grandson) and myself.
Take time away. Block his phone so you don’t see his texts or phone calls
Give them the chop! Life is heaps peaceful without them!
Everyone saying cut him off. It actually sounds like he may be ill? As that is not normal behaviour at all?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone in this group stopped letting family members be a part of there children's lives? What was the line that was crossed?
Toxic is toxic. Doesn’t matter who they are or what their stance has been in your life. You have every right to protect yourself and your family from this kind of behavior. Ignore the other family and do you the best you can.
Nope… doesn’t matter if they share the same blood. If you wouldn’t tolerate that behaviour from anyone else, why should he be the expection?
Anyone/thing that is toxic, has to go! Doesn’t mean you love them any less, just models that you respect nd love yourself and that should never be compromised
Every story has more than one side and dad might be telling people that the kids destroyed the house, the husband was a freeloader, my daughter is ungrateful etc. The best thing is to alway keep your own everything including a roof over your kids heads.
What is toxic will poison !!
I cut ties with my mother a year ago due to lifetime of mental verbal and physical abuse . My psychologist advised me that to get over something , you need to get away from it… this stuff affects us more than we even realise it does.
We’ve been no contact with my father in-law and his wife for four years because they want to control our family. My husband and I are both capable of deciding what is best for us and our child. Toxic individuals that cause distress will not be welcomed into our lives.
This is really the best advice
We had a similar situation with my FIL about 4 years ago. We lived in his old farm house and he lived in an updated farm house that belongs to his Dad. My FIL was in charge of the family farm, mostly my husband’s grandpa and grandma’s ground, equipment, and such. After many years of mismanagement he was told he would no longer be farming the family’s ground, but that his 2 sons (my husband & his brother) will take it over. So he told my husband if he did then he would kick us out, trying to get my husband to plead his case to his Grandpa for him. My husband knew there was zero chance of him getting control back and if him and his brother didn’t farm it they would find someone outside the family to do it. So he took it over and his Dad gave us 30 days to get out. He has done several thing to make it as difficult as possible for the family to farm and has been cut out of our family completely. He lives just a few miles away, but we only see him in passing. He still causes trouble to this day and so severing ties with him is not difficult. I would definitely recommend cutting him out of your lives unless he has shown tremendous change and a real desire to earn your forgiveness.
I cut ties with my father over a year ago. He hated my daughters sperm donor and at that time he was being a dad to my daughter. Well when my dad found out that sperm donor was going to be at her 1st birthday party, he called my mom and threatened to act a fool at her party. I nicely texted him and told him they were more than welcome to come to her party but I wanted them to peacefully do so. On her actual bday he texted me that there would be money at walmart for me to buy her something, I told him that if they could not peacefully attend her party then I would not pick the money up and I didn’t. I haven’t heard nor tried to speak to him anymore in a year this Thursday. He nor my step mother have seen her is dang near a year and a half
No contact with my parents for 3 years. I’m an only child. Does it bother me? Sometimes but the reward is much greater. Caught my mother telling our 4 year old at the time that her daddy and mama were bad people. Mind you we aren’t. She’s always been one to involve a child in adult situations and I snapped on her. She put her hands on me and I put her down. No contact since then. No desire to have contact either.
Without going too in depth
I’ve had some family members who have always acted toxic towards me or have never reciprocated the attention i was giving them and never bothered to check in on me or my kids. So i removed them from all social media and i no longer text/text back or make calls. It is what it is. I have friends who are literally ride or die and who have stuck by my side. I don’t care what any one says… blood is not thicker than water.
Due to circumstances surrounding child abuse of me as a kid…I cut ties with my father’s family at 18. I’m now 34 and it’s been the best choice. My step, and bio mom’s side as well. My step mother’s side loves my half siblings and goes to all birthday parties, sends gifts, comes and visits etc. Not for my kids though. Ever. So I cut ties. My bio mom was the same. Family by blood isn’t family if they treat you like you are the bane of their existence. Cut them off, cut them out, and find your tribe honey. Life’s too short for the drama and toxic-ness of others.
Is your father attempting to reconcile? Has he offered any explanation for his behavior? If I were in your position I think I would let my family know that his behavior is hurting you and your family and he has not made attempts to change that. You do not need to continue allowing that type of drama and negativity in to your life. He is responsible for himself, and you are responsible for setting boundaries. Sending you peace and love
I cut all ties with my egg donnor because she is just a toxic person she has major victim complex and nothing is ever her fault. Doesn’t matter who it is if they don’t bring your life joy and just bring you down cut them out your mental health is more important
This is your father right…well just do what is right …for you and your family BUT pray for him and anybody else who is toxic …Please let your children understand why gently .
Bring your children up not to become toxic by helping them to understand the principles of life. Honesty integrity etc etc
I caught my mother telling my then three year old to whip on and punish his disabled brother. First time I didn’t know and punished him. Later overheard her telling him to do it again. He said no I love my brother. And if you tell me to hurt him again my moms gonna whip on you. She’s not had a thing to do with us since 7 years ago. She kept my sister on me hurting me all the time. Sister kisses her arse still. Hurting others also. Evil.
Yup! Long story short my final straw after all the years of verbal abuse was my dad telling my daughter she didn’t need to listen to me and he’d support her running away and could go there and that it is perfectly fine and much needed for my son and her to be taking mushrooms which he had been supplying to them and hiding from me. I noticed after my son came back home after being gone with him for a couple weeks of “man work” help that my son was acting extremely depressed and talking crazy things and this wouldn’t stop for over a week and after confronting and telling him im scared and think something’s wrong he tried telling me there most certainly is…ME! IM FUCKING MY KIDS UP BY TRYING TO FORCE THEM TO FINISH SCHOOL AND WASTE THEIR TIME AND BRAINS ON SUCH STUPIDITY…And yada yada…oh my the conversation can go on and on
Forgive him, give him the second chance if he apologized. He can go to the court and ask for grandparents visitation order.
Toxic is toxic. Family or not. Cut off anyone that ruins your mental and emotional health.
I cut ties with my mother because when my son was born she said she didn’t like the fact that my son has a black person’s nose and keeps disrespecting my son’s dad
Forgive…
He is ur father.
U should never have moved in his house with ur family. Ur grown, should have ur own place. Congrats on doing that. Now forgive
I havent talked to my dad for almost 10 years. He doesn’t see my son either, he was given multiple chances but ways chose the alcohol over us. I’ve been told the same “hes your daddy, you just need to forgive and move on” I tried that a couple of times but it always ended the same way. My life has been so much more peaceful since I left the baggage behind.
I personally cut my own father off while I was pregnant. Toxic is toxic. Its not worth it.
I cut ties with half of my family on both sides. It’s better for my family and kids.
Run, it’ll only be a short lived change
If u are questioning it, u have your answer already. Cut them off now before it gets worse or before the negativity spreads to you kids
Was he your father or father in law?
Honestly, I don’t care who you are. If you are TOXIC then you are TOXIC. In order for myself and my family to live a healthy and happy life, I’d cut ties with anyone who is TOXIC. regardless of who you are:100: self love, and self care is IMPORTANT too. Most TOXIC people do exist in the families by the way. Sad but true!
Sad situation but sometimes you just have to step away
All of this tht u explained on social media ?? You explained and had a talk to him about all of this??..no?? Start thr.
Drugs just do that to people.
Yep. Now is the right time to cut all contact with him.
Maybe start, ask your father what his problem was,
Your grown adults, siblings, talk to them ask if anything has been said, toxic or not,seek husbands,family advise as well,personally I would leave him to stew, your own family is priority,change your number,your dad will realize he’s missing out,