Toxic is toxic. I haven’t seen or spoken to my dad in 7 years and it’s been the most peaceful time of my life without him and my step mom. There both toxic as hell. I have zero regrets about it.
Toxic is toxic. Stay away and move on with your life.
No honey, Toxic is toxic regardless of dna!! You need to cut all ties!
Ha. Uh. Basically burning the bridges themselves. Testifying against you for no reason in custody battle they had no part in did it.
Toxic is toxic… blood or not…being related is no excuse to keep toxicity in your life.
Yeah I stop my children’s fathers mum, she’s a very toxic person and while I was pregnant said the baby would be better of dead then having me as a parent all because we asked her not to put anything on social media until we had our 12 week scan. I also don’t let my aunt see my children due to how toxic she is, I have no time for toxic horrible people, it doesn’t bother me at all as its the right decision. You have to do what is right for your family, I will happily cut anyone off who I see in this way to protect my children, hope your okay and my inbox is open if you need a chat xx
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So much this! You do not have to put up with them because they’re family. Sometimes family is the one that hurts you the most
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Literally just screenshotted this seconds before I scrolled and saw your post. It seems fitting for your situation <3 you don’t owe ANY ONE a relationship with you and/or your family. Especially if it brings even an ounce of dispare. Move forward, love your kiddos and those who love them in return. You’ll be much better off for it!
No. Toxic people don’t get a “pass” simply because they’re your “mom, dad, sibling etc” and your siblings should be ashamed of themselves for being enablers . Remove yourself from the entire family and do not give in.
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Can we stop with the “he is your dad” toxic is toxic don’t give him anymore of your energy
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No honey. Toxic is toxic and if he can’t respect you, then there’s no sense in trying. It’s happen again a bf again. I’ve lived it my whole life. Cut him out. Not just for what he did to you, but he threatened your babies. Fuck no. You deserve better than that family or not… let me go. Wash those hands
Cut all ties!! Change your phone number!!
I’m sorry your having trouble with your dad.
I recently went no contact with my mother in law. Small back story she took off 7 years ago 2 years after her leaving I met my husband. I didn’t ever meet her in person for almost 5 years didn’t start a relationship until 8 months into my relationship with my husband. Well she kept telling us stuff that made us feel she needed to come back we also had our son who doesn’t really have a set of active grandparents my parents both work a lot. So I did everything to get them to move the only thing my husband did was give her nasty boyfriend a job. They ended up staying in our home for 2.5 weeks during this time she was passive aggressive and mean to me about everything made snared comments tried to act like the mother to my kid called our puppy a bitch all the time. Well my husband said something one night and left for the week for work she got drunk and physically attacked me I am pregnant said awful things about me to me stole medication from us. Come to find out she’s only been clean off meth a few months. I kicked her out haven’t talked to her since she will stock me to see my son but I just leave. This was 2 almost 3 months ago and let me tell you it’s the best thing I could have done she’s always been unstable and toxic and I will not let my kids grow up thinking what she says and does is okay because it’s not.
Yes this has caused issues with my husband with her not us and my brother in law and his wife are also no contact but my grandmother was on the phone during the altercation and its caused some issues with my family because of it and let me tell you idc if the world was on fire or what drama it creats I rather keep her away before she ends up doing something unforgivable. My family is supportive of me but they are very upset with my husband right now.
All I have to say is do what’s best think of the kids not anyone else.
My daughter and l have not had contact in 6 years the only reason l can think of is l said no to babysitting because my grandson was very rude and l said not until he apologised.
Last year my son in law died and she and her husband looked me in the eye and walked past me to go and say goodbye. My other kids have never liked her husband so very rarely had contact the last time l had my kids, spouses and grandkids togethet was in 13 years ago.
I am blocked on Facebook and the only way l see photos of my 4 grandkids is thru a mutual friend showing me pics. I feel sad to have lost my relationship with the kids as l had always had a lot if contact but l refuse to let it get me down.
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You can forgive without having to have contact.
Yep for the most part
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone in this group stopped letting family members be a part of there children's lives? What was the line that was crossed?
Family isn’t a right or entitlement and it’s an outdated way of thinking that you should always forgive them or be nice.
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You can’t pick your family but that doesn’t mean you have to keep them! I don’t speak to most of my family you’ve got your own family in other family members and chosen family if this relationship is no longer a good and happy one then cut ties for yourself and your family if your siblings and other family members are willing to put up with and overlook that behaviour then let them deal with it they’ll probably soon end up in the same situation
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Just remember toxic people are toxic people regardless of if they’re family or not!
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block his number and enjoy your life without him.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. Has anyone in this group stopped letting family members be a part of there children's lives? What was the line that was crossed?
I no longer talk to my dad and it’s the best decision I have ever made!
Just because they are blood doesn’t mean you need them in your life. I am doing perfectly fine without my dad! If people treat you poorly, you have every right to cut them off completely.
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Honestly im going thru cutting off my partners parents. They live an hour and a half away and in three years have only made it over twice for a max half an hour visit. The only time they see my kids is if i go out of my way to bring them there. Over the weekend i found out they were in town to drop off my partners older daughters literally 5 blocks away and instead of stopping in or making the time to they called my partner who is working harvest right now and asked if he was home and when he said no but the kids are they responded with they werent comfortable coming around with out him here. Ive gone out of my way for three years for these people and have had countless visits at their house with out my partner around and just now all of a sudden they have issues… it was heart breaking to find out they couldn’t even be bothered to give my kids the time of day despite whatever differences we have. Ive decided im done and no longer wish for them to have any sort of role in my children’s lives. Come Thanksgiving and Christmas we will be expected and demanded to be there but im now just not comfortable going around them. Its ok to cut family off and not look back
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Family are blood and we are bonded for life BUT family need to support us throughout life not work against us I would not forgive anyone threatening my children or partner that is not OK
call a family hui set boundaries to try and talk thru issues ask a respected person to act as moderator or walk away you do not have to have toxic people in your life 
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You need to do what you feel is best for you and your family. A toxic relationship is just that, toxic, and it will destroy your peace and happiness. It doesn’t matter if they are blood family or not, if they can’t treat you with respect don’t let them pull you down. Remember, you are also setting an example to your children of how they should be treated.
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Just because it’s family does not mean they can treat you or you kids how they please. Sometimes you have to cut ties and do without them if your life. You’ll come realize that was the best decision you can do for you and yours
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Im estranged from my family. I still let my kids see them tho.
The issue that drove us apart isn’t due to safety or addictions etc…it’s a personal conflict that causes no more than emotional harm and only to those directly involved- which is NOT the kids. I trust my kids in their care, but I want nothing to do with them, myself.
Keep kids out of adult conflict and let then still have family involved.
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Anyone that would threaten innocent children, crosses the line. I think it’s best to be taking a break. Let things cool down. And then have a serious talk with him. I Wouldn’t have the children around him for a while though.
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If this is totally out of character perhaps the other family members who still talk to him may be able to have him get a medical checkup. Sometimes these things happen because of medical conditions
I cut ties with my father last summer after a similar situation…no drugs or kids involved, but threw my fiance and I out with no warning after an argument with my fiance that my father intentionally escalated, trying to incite my fiance, a combat vet with severe ptsd who frequently suffers from flashbacks, into violence. He gave us less than two weeks to move out knowing we had no car of our own, no money, and didn’t know anyone, since the only reason we lived in that state was to help my dad with his health problems. We were briefly homeless before finding a wonderful apartment with great landlords, and good jobs. We are doing much better now, but I refuse to let him back in my life after that level of betrayal. His actions said that he didn’t care what happened to me, his own daughter, and I can’t have someone that unpredictable and manipulative in my life. Even though we aren’t planning on having kids, I could never let my dad be around them with how poisonous and manipulative and downright dangerous he is. When I realized that, I realized he can no longer be a part of my life. And I’ve never been happier since.
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Sorry but I wouldn’t put up with that nor would I want my kids to see/ be around that behaviour. If he can’t even keep the peace for a wedding then I wouldn’t even bother. Any visits they have with the kids I would have them supervised
Enduring harassment, abuse & toxic behaviors because “that’s your father/mother/family” is the reason we have so many people walking around with unresolved trauma & misery now. If you’re being treated badly, it’s ok to let that person go for the sake of your sanity, no matter the relation or history.
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Just because they are blood does not mean you have to deal with their toxic behavior . If you suspect drugs then you leaving was the right thing. Protect your children at all cost even if it means not talking to toxic family members for a bit,. After a certain time if you guys need to talk then do so and explain your decision to them and what lead up to it . If they still mad then let them be and move on .
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That doesn’t sound normal … something is mentally wrong there … until he figures it out and apologizes you should stay away from him.
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Cut the ties. Forget what family say, all the time this is so fresh your in no position to forgive him. He needs to redeem himself before you guys even cross that bridge. I hate how people think that because it’s family it’s ok to be treated like that. You wouldn’t let a friend treat you like that so don’t stand for it from your family either. Blood or not it’s doesn’t give anyone the excuse to act like a shitty person and expect to get away with it. Respect is earned not demanded. Xx
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Just because someone is your family doesn’t mean you can cut them off, toxic is toxic… you should take some time away from him then maybe reconcile in the future
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You can’t forgive someone while the behavior is still happening. Until he’s ready to change his ways and apologize definitely it’s okay to limit your contact
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I stopped talking to my dad after I got pregnant. Best decision I made. Just because someone is your father doesn’t mean you have to put up with abuse
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Maybe he is getting Dementia. Sounds like a mean man. What a horrible thing to say to you about throwing your kids out in the street 
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Nah that’s bullshit. I’ve cut ppl from my life for less. Your dad sounds immature. Blood relations does not grant anyone a pass to treat someone like shit. Time to keep it moving.
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You do you. If it’s toxic then cut ties. If family try say forgive he your dad blah blah blah, toxic is toxic. You don’t need that in your life. Talk it over with hubby and make sure you are both on the same page and understanding. Your hubby and your kids are more important family wise
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Cut ties. Threatening to leave a kid homeless because his feelings were hurt. You wouldn’t allow a landlord to act that way, don’t let your dad. He’s causing the family issues, tell your family to mind their fucking business.
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Sometimes family members have to be cut off due to being toxic. You have kids to worry about. Not any of this drama.
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Throwing or threatening to throw you and children out is all you need to say… keep those ties severed until he can make amends… that’s crap
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Honestly if you feel be might be using drugs, you didn’t specify what kind you suspected, then that very well could be the reason for his behavior recently. As a child of an addict, I would say you don’t necessarily need to “cut him off” but give you and your family space until he can behave like the father you were so close to. It might take him time to realize that he has a problem, if he has one. If he does end up going to get help that might be a good time to reconnect and try for a healthy relationship again. Otherwise, like others have said, the toxicity is just going to hurt you and your family.
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What can you forgive him for when he has no reason to lash out like this other then using your car too long. You paid rent you did everything asked and also were nice enough to loan him your car and he treats you and his grandkids like trash? I would certainly take a long break with communicating with him. Regardless of him being your father you are not ever obligated to allow people to treat you and your children like trash.
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Yupp my daughters fathers side besides her father. they don’t ask about her, and kicked me and my bf out with our 7 month old. So I’m pregnant with my 2nd and they don’t know and won’t know
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Toxic is toxic. Cut ties and move on. Once he targeted the kids that should be the deal breaker and last straw you need to seal the deal. If this thought crossed your mind then your gut is telling you what to do. If he decides to apologize later then that will be another decision. You are physically free from him, now be emotionally free as well.
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You dont have to ‘just forgive’ anyone no matter who they are.
They are adults responsible for their own behaviour.
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When push comes to shove anyone I’m mean anyone that threatens to touch my kids , “throw my kids out on the street” he definitely has had deep underlying issues /not fatherly behavior . Never gave you time to find a secure home . Very abusive words . No more , I’d cut all ties . When your a parent , you need to protect and keep your children away from people/family that behave erratic.
I feel like there is no way possible that this is the whole story…not by a long shot.
I cannot give an opinion on a situation where. I don’t have all the facts.
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cut them out. If they can’t respect you, they don’t need to be in your life. I eventually cut my sister out, I felt bad for my kids because they love her, but her toxic behavior was causing too much damage. Family or not, if they’re disrespectful and downright awful, they’re out.
You do not owe him anything. I don’t care that he is your father. He is an adult and his actions have consequences and you do not owe him anything. He is not entitled to anything from you. If he wants a relationship, he can do the work to repair the one he broke. Until then you are better off without him.
i mean you need to do what’s best for you and your kids. if you think he could be civil once in a while then maybe you could still have non-awkward family functions but he sounds too toxic i’d want to cut him out. hard choice
Normally I would suggest talking to the other person and figuring out what happened but your father’s actions here are despicable - even if you sat down with him and had him explain himself and his actions, no explanation would be valid as to why he behaved as he did. From your description he sounds like a very toxic man and I think it would do you best to cut him out of your life and block him on all platforms. He threatened to throw your kids out on the street - that is unacceptable behaviour and you need to protect yourself and your family.
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Parents are always using their children like currency. Any disagreement with another family member who is a vital part of their children’s life, they threaten to keep the children away. Because of a car the children are deprived of a relationship with their grandfather. Do you know who loses out? The children!!! And you know who really cares about who sees your children or not? YOU! Parents act like everyone is dying to see their children! Please! Keep them away! It’s your and their loss.
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Toxic is toxic. It doesn’t matter if it’s family or not.
I cut my dad officially out of my life a few months ago. You have to do what you have to do for the peace of your family. Sometimes, it hurts, but it hurts a lot more to keep toxicity in your life, especially for your children to watch.
I’d maybe talk to your dad privately to try & find out if something has happened to upset him, & you can work through it. If you say your relationship was good before & he wants that again he will talk, if he’s not willing to & or gets upset & angry with you again then leave it for a bit & try again sometime down the track after a break. If he’s still the same after that, then cut ties you don’t need toxic people around you even if it is family.
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Being your father isn’t an excuse to be a bad human and parent. If people treat you poorly no matter who they are, you have a right to cut them loose.
Cut ties. It will be tough until other family accepts your boundaries. But he’s clearly not doing right by your family… Entitled parents rarely do.
Your dad is the only dad you’ll ever have. But toxic is toxic. Dad or not, if he brings more stress and problems than anything else, I’d keep your distance. BUT that doesnt mean you need to cut him off completely. Maybe just limit time spent with or around him. You dont get another family.
I think they way you were treated you have a right to feel that way. You can think about stuff when your ready at your own pace. The rest of your family didn’t deal with the crap he put you through you did so cutting him off might be the best thing to do for now.
I was disrespected by my mother it’s been a year no contact I even had a new baby .
Just because someone is your family doesn’t mean you sold tolerate verbal/ emotional abuse. If he can’t change and be better then there’s the door
Protect you and your family unit ! I wouldn’t worry. Family is important it not if they’re toxic.
You can forgive and forget. Move on cut ties cause your family is important and do not need to be part of his behavior. Love them from a distance and the rest of the family will get over it. They are not living in your shoes.
It sounds like a undiagnosed illness, maybe dementia or altzheimers could even be diabetics. Someone should call his Dr. explain the problem, then get dad in for a check up. Make sure they run some tests. You said you suspected drugs… it could be an addiction. All these things could cause erratic behavior. Get him checked out before someone gets hurt.
I’ve been through a similar situation with my father. We had a falling out that was the last straw and I cut ties- zero communication for 3 years until he was in the hospital dying. Let me just say- toxic is toxic and you have to show your children what is or is not acceptable from others. My only advice is make a decision you’re comfortable living with if he were to die today. I was personally ok with my decision but have a LOT to work through as far as emotions- it’s a tough choice and I wish you well 
If he brings only drama to your life and adds no positive value, cut him out. I did it to my mother, and my life is much better without the drama. Leave the door open in case he realizes his mistakes, if that makes sense.
Toxic is toxic…dosnt matter who they are…if they are bringing toxicity into your childrens and your life you have every right to cut them out. And for the people assuming theres some misunderstanding…not always true…my mother in law is an alcoholic and will “buck up to” anyone she wants to while drinking for no apparent reason. Shes literally just crazy when she drinks…so it really might not be her missing something…he may just be an ass as shitty of a reality as that might be.
You don’t need him in your life if he’s going to harass and be a toxic being in it. Blood isn’t the only thing that makes you family. Honestly, if HE is gonna let a car get in between your relationship with him, then why do you need to keep him around? When he’s ready to apologize and make things right, maybe you can open up your heart and family up to him but that’ll be your choice.
15 years ago my oldest cut me from my grandson. Told everyone I was a hazard to his safety. Only change in life was she remarried, he didn’t like me. My granddaughter cut me from my great grandchildren because her daugter(5yo) throws temper tantrums and somehow it is her baby sister’s fault and mine. (I am raising her siblings). O never cut anyone off. It is important for children and extended family know each other
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Everytime he text. Just text back you love him and drop it. Dont say anything else. As time goes by it will come out why he is so upset. Give it time. Dont listen to anything and just say you love him. You dont have to do anything. If it bothers you to much that he says bad things then change your phone no. Dont say anything to the kids or in front of the kids. Just live your live the way you want. If family says anything just say you love them and nothing else. Good luck
I didn’t talk to my dad for 20 pulse years and I don’t reget a day of if. But on a side note we do talk now and have a better relationship than ever. So if you feel as if thats what needs to be done than so be it. Lines were crossed and especially when it comes to the kids.
Something is up!!! Maybe it’s the evil stepmother who wants you all out. Or, maybe your dad’s change in personality could be from a mental or medical issue. Ask him why the sudden change. You deserve it. Best of Luck. If it upsets you so much, maybe have a cool down period of not seeing them.
You do not owe your father ANYTHING. And it’s none of your siblings business what you do with your life. And them saying that just perpetuates the toxicity. My fiancé cut out an entire side of his family and it has made his life so much better. You and your family deserve better than that
Forgiving him doesn’t necessarily mean you have to start letting him mistreat you, I don’t believe God wants that , you can love them from afar, and the car he could have easily gotten stopped and your car could have gotten towed in, so just love him from afar
At some point, you have to decide weather the relationship with your father is to toxic. Cutting ties can be difficult, but may be necessary for you, your husband and kids mental health.
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Where is there a law written that you have to have people in your life that are toxic to you? Cut them off and don’t look back the moves to make reparations are in his court
Consider discussing this in a neutral environment to get to the bottom of his aggressive behaviour.
You could involve a neutral person to mediate & plan to move forward.
I think you should of spoken to your dad about the car issue ie keeping it longer then agreed and the funny smell! As for your dad giving you a month to get out then threatning to throw the little ones out is not a very nice thing to say! You all need to sit and talk i think lack of communication on both parts! X
Screw that shit just because he’s your father does not mean you owe him loyalty when treating you and your family like garbage. Controversial opinion I’m sure, but blood or not when they’re not good people staying out of duty only twists the relationship more so and hurts you in the process 
Drugs/ alcohol could very easily be the issue. Go grey rock with family/ friends ( they obviously don’t understand) and zero contact with dad. You’ll be the better person because of it, and remember skin folk isn’t always kin folk.
Do what is best for you, your children and your husband, those are the most important people.
Yup… I HAD an aunt that called my children mistakes… In front of them.
She will never see them again and I have ZERO regrets.
I will not allow that type of toxicity and disgusting behaviour in their lives!
I’ve also cut all contact from my ‘father’. He’s an abusive alcoholic and again, that behaviour will not be tolerated.
You have to what’s best for YOUR family and everyone else mind there own business !
Everyone says to forgive but he doesn’t seem to care if you’ll forgive him or not. Like the above comments, toxic is toxic and you need to live the best life for YOUR family, not the family you came from.
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You gotta do what’s best for you and your family. I cut my mom completely off. Definitely hard but theres no turning back at this point
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Have had to leave people behind. Just do it. I don’t feel guilty or bad about it either. Do I still care about them? Of course but it was causing so much stress and anxiety that I had to do what was good for me and my family. Am not rude if I run into them but don’t go out of my way to have any type of conversation with them either. These people were taking up too much room in my head and it wasn’t healthy. Maybe someday we can come together but it will never be the same and that’s okay too.
Preserve your peace. Focus on your husband and children. You don’t need that negative drama in your life.
Walk
A
Way…
They have shown you who they are and Things will not change… Period. If, (big if) they change they can come back, don’t let them perpetuate the abuse to or in front of the next generation.
I cut off my mother. No need for stress and anxiety. She is a narcissist. My kids can see her anytime. They drive and have their own minds if they want associate with her or not. Me, I’m done.
You have to ask yourself, did you overstay your welcome? Were you only meant to be there for a few weeks, turned into a few months?
Meet with your Dad, and ask him what’s going on?
You do not need that negativity in your or your children’s lives. Move on. His loss.
Cut the ties. You and your family deserve way better than that. His loss
Forgive, in a way that you don’t seek revenge, but distance yourself from negative actions against you and your family. Make sure you have certain boundaries, maybe you can be around him during holiday, as long as no negative behavior is shown.
It’s necessary to forgive even for your own self but love him from a distance. Even if that means cutting ties for now to show boundaries!
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My mother will not be around my lo after i give birth. Its hard and it sucks for sure. But sometimes you have to cut ties for the betterment of yourself and YOUR family. They may be the family you cane from but theyre not the family youre making for yourself and doing everything for. Its tough mama, but youll know in your heart if youre making the right choice. Toxic is toxic no matter who it is