shame on them once, twice, 3 times you need to decide if your family is better off with or without them toxic is not good for you or your children though
His behavior is chasing you away. Cut the ties and move on.
something very similar happened to me! you donât have to be rude about it.
every-time they call I ALWAYS have to ârush off the phoneâ very quickly after answering, and anytime an invite is extended towards us we always âhave something already going on that day!â they will eventually get the hint. less is best in my opinion and this gets the point across without being too direct (direct=mean for some people, not for me tho 
)
I feel you should maintain your distance (and your boundaries), but not cut ties. If you cut ties, your kids will blame you for them not having their grandfather in their life. It wonât matter if you tell them he threatened to throw them on the street. What will matter is that he doesnât call/visit. Your kids will grow up and see if he made the effort or not. Plus your family is on his side, so theyâll talk crap to your kids too.
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Toxic is toxic blood or not. Havenât spoken to my alcoholic father in 4.5 years due to his alcohol abuse and massively shit decision making when it comes to my whole damn family and extended family. Do what you need to do hun. Your kids are top priority and shouldnât be around toxic Crap 
No way do you deserve to be treated like that.
Itâs your life, your experience, and sadly your father does not deserve to have you in his life.
Family isnât about blood related, itâs about people who treat you right.
Iâm with you.
There might have been a reason he was so mad about the car thing. Guessing he was dealing drugs and you interfered in that. Otherwise why would he get so angry and continue to be angry?
Kids should never be a part of grown up issues unless they mistreat you kids they donât deserve to be stunned tak m away fr family.
I cut my own mother off. You donât owe anything to anyone except your own kids
You arenât required to keep toxic people in your life to appease others. Itâs your life And you are an adult, you can do what you want
Best to end relationship for a few months and then try again and see if he acts better Hated to do it but I had to cut off all ties with my sister I tried several times and it never got better
Based on information given, Iâd say dad is a closet addict and is starting to lose control over hiding it and no one wants admit it or they just still havenât figured it outâŠjust a hunch.
You need to.cut ties it hard but your kids and husband are your frist proirte
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I have to say, just cause you get upset with someone, doesnât mean you end everything. How many times do you think your parents put up with your shit when you were growing up? They didnt throw their hands up in the air and say this is too damn toxic! I have to end this now! âŠHow ridiculous you sound 
!@ If parents felt like that there would never have been a kid left in the household to raise they all would have been considered âTOXICâ!
Now go figure that one out.!!!@
Is it possible he has a brain tumor that has changed his personality?
Itâs just yâall that think you can keep them away from certain family members then get mad when they donât call or ask for them. .
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Run away from the toxic prime you cannot change them
Not sure what the situation was between you, but itâs clearly time for you to be on your own.
Give it time to calm down. Donât retaliate just donât be there. Things will calm down. But not if you are both sniping at each other. Leave the door open for talking.
Car smelled funny ⊠like just pot or like burnt rubber ( meth ) ??
I think it is good for your familyâs safety you were able to move within 2 weeks .
Be nice but just do not visit too often .
And do NOT let him babysit the children !!
I am confused, is he your father or father in law?
âThe blood of the covenant is thicker then the water of the womb.â
Fuckâem. He made his bed now he can sleep in it.
âBlood does not make a person familyâ
What about the mother in law? What happened there??
Iâm so sorry about your family situation. You brought up many serious red flags. Just going on your story I need to know what brought you to live with your parents? Has there been a history of drug or alcohol abuse by your parents or the two of you? Or emotional abuse? Co-dependence and tolerance of bad behavior is devastating and very common⊠you were brave and responsible for your young familyâs sake not to allow your Dad to drive your car. That was hard to do.
You set excellent boundaries about your car⊠your father has no car? I worry for you, though, that you chose to stay in a home where there may be drug abuse occurringâŠuntil you were forced out. Your dadâs continued abuse after you left the house signals his lack of boundaries and perhaps a history of normalizing bad behavior- your siblings seem to be caught up in co-dependent behavior and are asking you to ignore your very reasonable personal boundariesâŠ. And to tolerate abuse.
Is all this behavior brand new? In that case⊠I might be very worried about your Dads healthâ many disease processes can lead to mental changes, including heart disease or dementia, and it would be prudent to explore that⊠perhaps with his wife⊠that is her duty to initiate a query but perhaps she needs help. Is he abusive with her?
My advice is to be proud you have set behavior boundaries and I assure you that his behavior is not healthy and regardless of his relation to you, parent or complete strangerâŠ. It is acceptable and prudent to withdraw from him under these circumstancesâŠmany do exactly the same. Many families go through this, itâs very common. We cannot choose our family members when we are young and helpless⊠but as adults we choose right and wrong⊠and who we will expose ourselves to on a regular basis. You do not owe your parents a relationship that is harmful to yourself⊠you owe them safety, food, shelter in their old age only⊠and it doesnât have to be in your home. Your father is an adult making poor choicesâŠyou are not responsible for his choice, nor do you have to accept his choices and work them into your life.
Just make your home and be independent and when you can you do fun things with your kids and keep busy.
How old is your father? Could it be âage related?â
you dont have to forgive someone who treats you like shit. especially when your kids are involved. tell everyone pressuring you to fuck off and mind their own damned buiness,
Does he drink? Using drugs? Early dementia?
What does âtried to buckâ mean? Iv never heard of this
So is it Father and Mum in law or your father?
Blood doesnât make anyone family.
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Yeah that sounds good on words but not all people live in the real world some make it up
TRUE STORY
He has to be blocked until he calm down.
Nope heâs be out of my life
Iâm so sick of people saying âbut theyâre familyâ⊠so what. Toxic is toxic. If they are not bringing you peace, causing issues, and just overall not being the kind of person you want in your life step away. If he can change sure maybe a possibility to have a relationship in the future but for now cut ties if thatâs what you need to do. x
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I say cut ties. You donât need his negative behavior
Ask his wife what happened
IMO never feel bad about removing toxic people from your life, no matter WHO they are
If heâs toxic to you heâs toxic to your kids. Period. Idc if itâs blood or not.
Your children deserve a better example of a man and you a better father you can love him from afar and protect them and yourself from any further abuse⊠the he said she said they said of anyone is zero⊠you say who comes near you and your children you have an awesome job of protecting them from any of this if not yourself⊠Thatâs The power of motherhood we do for our children what we could not or would not do for ourselves⊠God bless you with strength fortitude and prosperity raising your children⊠you have room for nothing else besides love respect and support to accomplish this.
Tell him take a hike!
Cut ties. Blood or not no person should make you feel threatened or so let down. Especially a parent. Iâve cut ties with my Sperm donor as I like to call him now. He chose his new wife over myself and sister. His wife is a cruel person to say the least who always tried to get in between our relationship and he would always defend her actions. So I I threw in the towel and said goodbye.
Nope-- toxic is good enough of a reason to cut ties. Boundaries were set and crossed and when you called him on it he basically kicked you out. Being family is not an excuse to treat people like dog poop on your boot-- be happy cut out out toxic people from your life until they get their act together.
Use the scissors and cut that negativity out of your kids life⊠Thats ur dad⊠So what? Being your dad doesnt give him the right to go at your husband and say what he says to you⊠Cut it before it affects the kids⊠Family or not⊠Negative is negative.
My beliefs and my choice of parenting they made that decision I honestly donât care they donât care for my kids needs or pay my bills! You want to talk to me and be in my kids life again ok cool but you want to stay away fine
when they called CPS on me because they are ignorant and donât want to accept my child is disabled. so they are not longer allowed to see her anymore
Yep. I cut my mother, sisters and brother off for a similar reason. Toxic people donât change. My life is so much better since cutting them off 
Tell your siblings to eat dog food. He threatened to throw you and your kids out and they want you to forgive him?? I think not. He needs to explain and apologize.
Walk away. Protect your family.
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Your children are the priority.
Dont let him borrow your car again now that youâre outâŠ
When my boy was born 6 months ago whilst he was being born though emergency c section my so called mother wished me dead and just cause I said to her that heâs been born but shes not allowed near him she cut me out and blocked me on everything, thatâs when I decided I no longer needed her cause everything I need is right in front of me Iâve got my partner whoâs my babies dad and Iâve got my dadâs side of the family and Iâve got 2 friends and I wouldnât ask for better cause theyâve been brilliant. Your dad is disgusting throwing you and your husband and 2 children out for no such reason at all, if my dad done this I wouldnât ever wanna speak to him again x
Cut ties now .he is toxic .
I cut my family loose in my 20âs and never looked back, I am 54 and have had a wonderful life and donât miss them in the least, I donât allow people in my life that cause drama or hardship, family are just the gene pool you are born into⊠sometimes you get a good family, sometimes not, family doesnât mean they are entitled to any privileges or any more rights than the stranger sitting next to you on the transit⊠family can easily be replaced with your own chosen family ( friends & people who accept you as you are, flaws and all, and let you live your life on your own terms) ⊠I have a great chosen family, and do not miss the gene pool I crawled out of⊠you do what is best for you and what brings you the most peace and happiness in your life.
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Your Dad is guilty of something. He is taking it out in you so it doesnât come out. Unless he can change his attitude and apologize then i would have to move on, but i would let him know how you feel about how everything went down. Write him a letter and make a copy for yourself. If he wants back in your life then he has to be willingly explain and apologize. As for your siblings, its none of their business.
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You need to do whats best for you and your family. Just because they are family does not always make it ok to forgive and forget, some people are just toxic. And stuff like this will continue to crop up in future. Are you mentally and emotionally ready to deal with shit like this the next time or the next
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You can forgive him, but you donât have to keep communication with him. As for your siblings ,they need to think how they would feel if the same thing happened to them. You are in the right to cut him off, even if itâs for a short time or a long time. When he can apologize for being the A hole and threatening to throw you and your family in the streets, taking advantage of you allowing him to use your car. Let them keep their kitchen stocked and cook their own meals. Eventually he and your siblings will realize how much you did for him.
Yes i did my mum & step dad i had no choice the kids dint want to see them as my mum was hittin them, ss got involved n stopped them seeing them 4yrs now & kids have been happiest iv seen them! Best choice of my life
I hope he doesnât know where you live and change your phone #. No one needs that kind of pain.
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Cut him out there is absolutely no excuse for abusive behaviour to you and as for your children, he deserves a smack in the mouth.
You look after you and yours. You cant choose your family, but you can choose who you keep as family.
Just remember: No matter what he is going through he CAN change. I would advise that as long as current behavior continues you donât have any face to face contact. Send him a long, detailed message/email/text about how you feel and lay out parameters on how to change it. Then leave the ball in his court. Sorry you are going through this but you deserve to be happy. Not bogged down with negativity.
Your loyalty should lie with the family you made, not the family that made you. Itâs not blood that connects us, itâs love. Love those that love you and let the rest go. Not your monkey, show or circus.
Try talking to him about why he is acting like that. I cut my grandma & aunt on my dadâs side and my cuz and uncle from my momâs side of of my life cause rhy are toxic best decision ever
Life is too short to put up with shitty people! Walk away and donât look back
Not sure if heâs actually a narc but it kinda reminds me of one and I think you should join the Daughters of Narcissistic Fathers group, plenty of us are No contact with our dads in this group, family doesnât always mean what people think it does
Why do I have a feeling that there is more issues then what you are stating something doesnât add up. Unless you and your husband are idiots you would know what kind of drugs he has been doing do you smell heroin cocaine marijuana everyone is always vague tell us the truth and nothing was the truth
Two sides to every story people You heard hers you havenât heard his not saying he was right and she was wrong or vice versa just remember youâre only getting one side from one viewpoint
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I never stopped my family from seeing my children because I didnât see a reason to put a stop to it but in hind sight, had I known what I know now, I would have.
Cut him looseâŠits only biology
Cut him out of your lives he doesnât deserve you
my mother who sided with my abusive exhusband
Just because they are family, does not mean you have to be friends.
Cut anyone out that is toxic 
Your grammar is terrible first of all. Second you start off saying they were your in laws then you say it was your father. I think you are an idiot and just want attention.
I cut mine out and itâs one of the best things I did!
Alsheimers perhaps,!?
Praying that all will work out for the best
Sounds like a 1 sided story to me.
take a serious break & review in 6 mo.s ~
How long has your father been dealing drugs?
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Fuck your dadđ€·đœââïž cut them the fuck out of your lifeâŒïž
Fuck them point blank period!
Bye!!! Cut those ties
3 sides to every story
Move about two states away
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Your dad sounds like a shit role model. No need to associate if they show no intention of playing a healthy role in your kids lives, and their own kids lives.
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Cut his ass off. He crossed a line being an ass, and now he can suffer the consequences
GĂĄi Viá»t Äang ÄĂȘm thĂŹ lĂȘn cÆĄn nứng sáșŁng nứng quĂĄ ngủ khĂŽng ÄÆ°á»Łc thÆ°ÆĄng thức ngay táșĄi <===> Clip sex báșĄo dĂąm
Ask him up and personal what is the problem? Than tell hi. It has to stop !
Ive seen what it does when a father wont talk to his kid for 30 years and the emotional scars. My father didnt want us to visit because of covid for 20 months but we see him anyway. For the sake of the kids, humor him. Your kids love him!
He sounds toxic. Just cause heâs family doesnât make it okay
Dont ever let anyone hurt you and make you feel like that⊠Family or not⊠Move onâŠ
Heâs obviously got his own issues that need to be sorted out. I wouldnt be letting someone whoâs trying to fight my husband for no good reason in my childrenâs lives
I have cut off family and never looked back they were toxic to my happiness so they had to go.
Blood doesnât mean a thing in my opinion. I have friends parents that have been there for me and cared for me more than my âparentsâ
Sod what others say, do what makes you, your kids and hubby happy not what makes people around happy.
Good luck 
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Yep. For me, the final straw was when we were coming home from a holiday dinner and my oldest asked me why we still go to grandmaâs house (husbandâs mom). I didnât understand why she was asking so instead of answering I asked her why she asked that question. She replied with ânobody there likes you and they donât even try to hide it anymore, itâs uncomfortable and it makes me mad for you so I donât see why we keep going.â
My husband and I have 5 kids so we convoy with 2 cars everywhere we go. When we got home I told him about the conversation and he told me that heâd had almost the exact same conversation with the second oldest in his truck on the way home. That was it for us. We realized we hold no obligation to anyone who so openly dislikes any of us. But as parents we do hold EVERY obligation to teach our kids how to set healthy boundaries and how to protect themselves from shitty people. Their feelings towards me have been there from day one. My only regret is not removing these people BEFORE they were old enough to recognize what was going on. Your job is to teach them what a health life looks like.
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Nobody has any rights to your children and nobody has any rights to your personal life. I donât care if it IS your father. If heâs treating you and your family like garbage and itâs causing you mental distress, he can go 
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You do not need to let it go just because heâs your father. You deserve boundaries no matter who the person in question is. Anyone who doesnât respect that also doesnât respect your healthy boundaries.
I have had to cut people out. Many of them. Entirely. And it is difficult at times, and lonely. But itâs peaceful, and itâs worth it. Nothing and no one is exempt from my boundaries. Itâs up to you to ensure your own quality of life, and unfortunately, sometimes that means creating some distance between yourself and people you love.
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Donât cave in. Youâre doing the right thing. He made threats of harm to your children. I would have called the cops and told him what said of that ever happened to me
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