I quit my job and stay home with my 3 kids.
We tried me working and the kids in childcare, but having all of them in daycare (and me even working AT the daycare) essentially broke even.
I was pretty much working for free 
If it’s something you feel you need to do, make a budget and stick to it!
I quit my career as a 911 dispatcher, making 40k a year, to stay at home when I found out I was pregnant with my 2nd born. My husband makes more than me, but our lifestyle was based off 2 incomes. We had to make some adjustments. But it was worth it.
I don’t get an “allowance”. If I want something or want something for the kids, we discuss it and check our finances to see if it’s possible. If it is, he never says “no”. We’ve been together since our senior year, 14 years now, and we’ve always shared money. It’s pooled together into one joint account and we just make sure to communicate about spending, be vigilant checking the account, etc. Bills are paid first and foremost. After that, we talk out things we want, house projects, Christmas shopping, school shopping, etc.
My husband makes about 50k a year.
I stopped working before I had my youngest son. I went out on maternity leave when I was 4 months pregnant bc I was having pains then covid hit so yeah. My youngest will be 2 in February.
I do not have an allowance. I do 99.99% of the finances, I also make money on the side doing random product tests surveys and random other simple stuff I find. I make sure the bills are paid (electric, cable, insurance on his car) with the money I make and he hands me the money for the rent. He makes roughly $30,000.
My ex husband used to give me an allowance it was a control thing. To make it so I couldn’t get on my feet and leave him. He told me I didn’t have to work and when I tried to get a job it was a constant fight. He prevented me from going to multiple interviews bc the car at the time was in his name. And when he got upset with me then the money was held from me even if our son needed something like diapers or formula. He was abusive in everyway he could be and I stayed trying to make it work for my 1st son who was a newborn at the time. He was a fisherman and pay ranged but anywhere from $200-1500 a Day 5-7 days a week… Dude was a piece of work.
I don’t know your situation but I’ve been thru both and I wish I could help more with it.
I work from home and I’m still able to be there for my kids. It’s the best thing for all of us. Full time income, full time sahm, and my hubs works full-time as a maintenance/welder/fabricator
I had to quit my Job when covid hit and became a stay at home mom. I love all the time spent with my kids and my husband doesn’t give me a budget, but I try to be fair and spend only once in a blue moon lol
I did. I‘m in charge of the finances. I always have been, so no, I don’t get an allowance. My husband is a public high school teacher. It’s a struggle, but to me, it’s so worth it.
Quit teaching with the birth of my first child. I know a lot of families cannot afford this but I never regretted staying home with my first and my second child.
I’ve been a stay at home mom several times but personally I need to get out in public more and I like to work. I recently just got off maternity leave with our 3rd baby and told my husband that I wanted to go back to work and he could be the stay at home parent. For us, he is just the better at home parent and it gives him time with all the kids that he never got in the beginning with the first 2
Ye need to sit down and see if it is doable can ye cover all the bills and live on one wage try it for awhile while you still work save your wages. Childcare costs will be non existant if your at home so it will save in ways but it’s very hard to go from being an independent and working person to a stay at home person maybe you could check out working from home as a trial first?
Shouldn’t be asking what their significant other makes either
i say a “pre-nup” before marriage
I don’t work anymore I used to do Instacart when my kids were in school full time but due to covid they haven’t been fully in school they do hybrid…. My husband makes around 45 thousand a year and I don’t get an allowance but if I need something I tell him and he will give me the money no problem and he gives me money weekly for all the household needs! I stay at home full time with 6 children
Yes, it was the best decision I ever made. I was no longer relying on daycare to raise my children, I was raising them. It takes good budgeting skills and a commitment between you and your spouse. Have a realistic conversation with your spouse about both of you doing the bills each week together and agree on how much each of you will use as personal needs money. Agree on a purchase limit, as in no purchases over a certain amount with both agreeing on it. If you don’t feel like it’s working and you are needing to bring in extra income consider opening an in home daycare so other children and families can benefit from your choice of being home. Good luck!
Do it if you absolutely want to.I would rather be perdiem or work one weekend a month. Every family is different.I have personal responsibilities (my family)I wouldn’t ask him to support even though he wanted.
I know the question is for those who have quit to be stay home parents,But give that option, those are my thoughts.
Sounds a little bitter on some of this feed. Dependant on a man, can’t but what you want, wouldn’t have if not for me? Ouch!
Sometimes if not working a skilled job that pays well working only puts money in pocket of daycare and puts you in higher tax bracket . Sometimes some people go upside down. It happens. There is the downside that if it ends and 50% do, your gonna have to sprout wings and fly quick. If you feel secure and want your kiddos to have your bad habits instead of someone else’s , and can afford it and your hubs is like mine and never pulled that macho shit with me, enjoy it . Maybe work Part time when in school. You have options it is 2021. Do what makes your family healthy and happy . Ignore what we say . Do you and God luck .
When my wife and I found out she was pregnant she was working at a day facility for mentally disabled and worked with violent clients. She has been assaulted a few times in the past so being preg she requested to work with non violent people till after her preg was over. Her boss response was “ my husband use to beat me like a red headed step child when I was preg and my kids turned out fine” my wife called me very upset I was livid told her to walk out and be a stay at home mom couple days ago was our daughters 4th birthday stay at home mom the entire time I make a little over 50k a year we are buying our home and have a nice truck yes bills are tight and budgets are strict. I give her as much as we can afford so she can buy the things that she likes too. We make it work
I did. My husband gives me $400. A week. I pay household Bill’s water gas electric food. Then the rest is mine. I dont have lil kids mo more but I watch my grandkids so my kids dont have to pay child care. We dont have a house payment or car payment. So it works well for me. I have been home for 10 years now.
I don’t think how much someone significant other makes a year is anyone’s business.
Honestly, we tried dad staying home, it didn’t work, our kids were unhappy. I made more, I gave it a few weeks and then made him swap out. I was a stay mom then. Everyone’s situation is different. We just made it work, adjusted budget etc. A stay at home mom is hard! It is definitely a full time job, then some. You have to be okay with in your life period. Weigh the pros and cons. My cons were my kids being unhappy. (Dad did his best fyi but it wasn’t how mom did things)
Personally id advise against giving up your work completely. Many men use it as a method of controlling you. Try going part time instead.
There is no such thing as an allowance my husband is the only one working when we get paid we pay the bills and then we dont really care about the money getting spent as long as all essentials will be taken care of ( food, diapers, gas, ect.). We only really ask the other one about spending if its over a certain amount.
I made a decision to quit my job to take care of my 4 month baby it was ok we where just very limited to getting stuff it worked out just for couple of months I had to go back I couldn’t be a stay at home mom . I took my self back to work not used to staying at home. It didn’t work for me.
Hardest thing you’ll have to understand is that, your household will no longer have that additional income… Your significant other will not automatically get a raise to compensate for the difference… So tighten up your belt now… You’ll have extra time on your hands, which means doing things that require extra spending money… Will that money be there for you if your income goes away… Sit down and write the pros and cons for your particular situation… Money is the hardest thing to give up and cause the worst problems people can have… Is your income really needed?? Is the saving of child care enough for you to quit??? And are you sure you can give up that time away from the kids even if it is work… Good luck hon, that really is alot on your plate of life… And you are not alone there… I’d sure hate to have to make that decision in todays times…
Well first off, if you’re married you’re in a partnership and one shouldn’t be telling the other how much to spend unless you’re irresponsible with money. Make sure you know what you’re doing when it comes to being a stay-at-home mom, it’s not all roses and cupcakes like everybody thinks it is especially when you’re home by yourself doing everything. It could be isolating and take a lot on your mental health. When it comes to money, remember you have a whole family to take care of and not just yourself. There’s a difference between needs and wants. It’s not about what everybody else makes, it’s about what your spouse brings home and if you can financially handle it if you’re not working.
As far as what other makes, it has nothing to do with your situation… What your significant other will need to make to forgo your income is the questions… Can their income pay for everything… Home, utilities, car or 2, insurance (car, health and homeowners), basic health needs, food, clothing, 10% to savings, phones, kids activities, credit cards, entertainment, or frivolous spending for the whole family (fake nails/hair colored)… If your partners income can cover all that, stay at home by all means…
I did when my daughter was first born. My husband told me he was the only mf making any money around here. I had 2 jobs in 3 days and spent the next 15 years doing so. He actually had the audacity to ask me if I truly loved him after that. It was heart breaking, but our relationship ended. I actually went down to one job at one point during that time…his response was he didn’t have any money in his account. I didn’t have access to his account and told him I didn’t want to work 2 jobs anymore…that I was tired of 16 hour days. I cried because I was exhausted. He had a job and spent his money as he saw fit. I paid the insurance, rent, electric, my car note, food everything. He paid his car note. He hates me, because I took our child and left. His drinking was too much. I don’t regret leaving. If your significant other cannot handle it, they need to be upfront about it. It takes 2. I did it alone, in a relationship for 17 years. I never asked for child support or a divorce. He got off without having to pay a dime. He still tells people I did him dirty. May he be blessed with what he deserves.
I went from working 50hrs a week to 11 …you still need that independance as a person and not just a mum …I am on my own with my 2 boys but even when I was with my ex I worked… honestly working for me is a way of me to not be mummy for a few hours and be me sounds silly but you need that time away from your children
I’m sorry but him saying you have an allowance is wrong you are working just as hard as him before I had my daughter I worked and he didn’t so I paid for everything then after she was born I was on maternity and he was working full time but when my maternity pay ended I couldn’t go back to work because my baby was very unwell because of being prem but we carried on with splitting everything 50/50 we made sure all the bills was paid and anything our baby need was done and shopping was done and then whatever was left we had half each and we did that with my money before he even had a job xx
Yes I did with both of my childern. We were fortunate enough we could get by on his income. I wanted to be with my babies and when toddlers. It was the best non paying job I ever had. Money wise it was tight but the bond was priceless.
I’ve done it 2 different times. I left my 20 year dental career in 2020, have stayed at home ever since. Hubby makes good money and we live in Oklahoma. As someone said, needs before wants. I dont take an allowance
But we discuss spending leftover money on outings or things to do with it together. It really comes down to, how much are you willing to sacrifice, to a certain degree, to be able to make the situation work. If you feel YOU are not receiving enough “allowance” for yourself and are wanting more money to spend on yourself or other things, then maybe get a pt job. We dont eat out, it’s very rare. And my dude is super good with money, so it works for us, but only bc he and I both sacrifice to make this work. I’m not his employee, therefore I dont get “paid” I am his wife, and her mother
I’m a stay at home mom. Money can be pretty tight at times, but we do what we need to do and budget better when things happen (like my husband being out of work for 4 months no pay (FMLA)
I was making great money as a manager, but daycare is just soooo much, and we have two kids. I love being able to spend every day with them, even on our hard days.
we put our money left over from his work after bills, tax refunds, stimulus etc in a certain account.
when i need to take some out for stuff i just tell him how much i took. i comparison shop at different stores to save on food and house items. it is a pretty easy flow for us but were both on the same page and live within our means. we both try and be mindful of how much we are spending and if the “extra” account gets below a certain amount we just lay off buying extras we dont absolutely need till we get the money back up…for example. last month we spent a ton on stuff we had to have and my daughter’s birthday ended up costing us A LOT. i think I spent more on food forbher party than all of the presents cost 
so i rescheduled my hair appointment for a couple more weeks. i usually use my half of tax refunds and stuff for things i like such as getting nails/hair done, tanning and stuff but once that money gets low or runs out then i stop doing all that he tells me i still can if i want. so, i evaluate the month and if its a month with a kids birthday or like this month is back to school shopping i wont get anything but ny hair done because its only 100$. September wont really have anything extra so ill probably get them done a couple times in september…and basically the same principle applies to everything else ya can think of. we arnt rich an dont make a whole lot…less than 30k a year. were blessed to have a pretty low mortgage payment so that helps a ton so i understand its not possible for everyone to live comfortable on a certain income. we also saved a lot on vacation this year by going with family and splitting the costs! our villa was 1700 split 3 ways. w 8 day vaca and only spent a little over 2k for the entire thing but we only took a certain amount with us to spend so we wouldn’t go crazy and buy a ton of stuff while out shopping and dinning. moral of the story is…be patient and mindful while getting your money up and after a year or 2 of penny ojnching you can affird to have extras and less stress long as you really plan and think thoroughly about what youre doing. if you have 500 or more a month car payment like so many people do you may have to downgrade and stuff like that
Married…quit working in 2008 due to a very rough pregnancy. Been a stay at home mom since. No allowance, joint account, equal access to all monies. I handle paying all the bills and getting what the family needs. Just because my husband works it doesn’t mean we are less of a partnership. Unless a spouse is toxic with money an allowance is a joke and a total power issue.
I quit mine in May, I was the provider. I paid ALL bills. I used my entire savings to pay off all my debt. Car, credit card, the rest of the years rent, and insurance for 6months. I told him he had to get it together and grow up. He pays his insurance and our utilities. He gives me $200/w. That covers bills and a little extra for me. I also will clean my moms house if I need extra for something big. Im thinking im going to get a business license and put my SO to work. Ill do paperwork and he does labor.
My hubby makes roughly 60,000 a yr. We live together have 2 littles 2 and 3 years old and his 9 year old lives with us as well 100% of the time. I am a SAHM. He supports us 100%. I have a credit card if I need it or he asks me to pick something up for the house dinner etc. He gives me 200$ to spend for myself weekly.
We made 20 some thousand a year I had no money to spend on me ever we made sure we had essential and they kids had what they needed we struggled with groceries and didn’t qualify for snap.
I’ve been a SAHM on and off for 5 years. When I am at home with the kids I make a list of the months bills and I am able to pay them when my boyfriend gets paid. If the kids or I need anything I write it down and by the next paycheck we have what we need if it was necessary. For birthdays I start buying presents 3-4 months in advance so when the birthday comes I have to only spend a small amount of what is left. Right now we get food assistance so that is a huge help with groceries. I also list everything we need before going to the store. It is a rewarding life because you get to raise your own kids ans you’re not in a office worried about their care. But it can also be a very lonely life. Be prepared for early mornings and late nights.
Yup…Stay at Home Mimi🥰
I quit my job to stay home and raise our kids. I don’t get an “allowance” what my husband makes is our money and it’s enough to live comfortably. I do all the shopping for the house and kids and if it’s something I want, I buy it. I’ll consult my husband if it’s over a certain amount but he normally doesn’t care.
Yea!
Was home for ten years no allowance if I wanted something or we needed something I just got it like I was working
I’m not going to put out there how much my significant other makes. 
But I do not have an “allowance.” It’s kind of an unspoken thing that I do as I please. However, I’ve always been a frugal spender 
(coupons, sales, thrift shopping, etc) even though I’ve been fortunate enough not to be. It’s no different now that I’m not working. Most months I spend less than $100 on mysel (this past month I spent nothing on myself). One or two months out of the year (when I stock up on skincare items, usually because it’s Black Friday or another really good deal), I spend about $3-400 on myself. I have never asked for permission, but I always inform him of it.
I find an “allowance” such an odd concept if you are married or in a long term relationship.
You both do your part in making a household work. Money should be both of yours not his and then an allowance 
Have a budget and know how much all your bills are and just communicate to each other. Easy!
SAHM. My husband makes $70,000+ a year. We have joint accounts so never did an allowance type thing.
I became a sahm when I got pregnant (my husbands request) n now with my new baby and 4 yr old. He doesn’t have the greatest career but we get by and he never asks for anything he just hands me his checks each pay day and trusts me to handle bills n tells me to do whatever I want with whats leftover 
I typically buy stuff for my kids or him tho to show how much I appreciate him if I do spend anything on me I don’t have to explain myself or have a limit or get bitched at. Oh and he helps me with kids and cleans even on his work days n has never once complained about me being at home or him doing half the responsibilities in the house w him being the only one working . Who said you can’t teach an old dog new tricks ;p
I didn’t quit to be a stay at home mom, I did it to go back and finish school. We’re a family of 6, myself, my husband and 4 children (18,18,13 and 8 ). The 18 year olds are both full time college students and work part time. We don’t charge them any rent/utilities and we pay their car insurance while they’re in school. They pay their car payment and then anything “extra” that they want… clothes/shoes, trips etc. My husband makes about $50K a year. I do not have an “allowance”. His check deposits to our joint bank account. We pay bills first, and whatever is left is left. He rarely buys anything for himself, I usually have to buy for him or insist that he buys what he wants/needs. I’m not exactly high maintenance, I do my own hair, I get my natural nails done once or twice a month. We buy what we need and save a little. Our two youngest kids are in football/cheer and then soccer. We’re able to live comfortably on his income. Of course, some months are better than others. I’ve mentioned going back to work, and he insists that I continue to focus on my education. So depending on where you live, what your extra expenses are, your family size and your household income, it’s feasible to do.
I did! My SO makes a little under 80 grand a year, I don’t have an allowance, I have my own debit card from our joint acct & just give him a heads up before I take the kids out or spend money. I put our monthly bills on the calendar & remind him a few days before paying them.
I’m going on 3 years being a SAHM.
I’m a sahm for the most part I have been since a year after me and my husband got together. Unless something happened with his job and I went to work until he found another one. I’ve never had the allowance type thing we have had a joint account since 3 weeks after we moved in together. Unspoken rule is I spend what I want how I want because I take care of everything he isn’t one good with keeping track of when things need paid, so I pay all the Bill’s and buy everything the house and kids need… us we basically have a farm so I spend about 200$ a month on animal feed alone. He never ask what I spend though if heis curious I tell him… he will ask how much isn’t our account (he won’t check it ) and he will ask if he can spend certain higher amounts on his hobbies(vehicles,ATV’s,ect.) He will always ask before he does to be sure all the Bill’s and all are paid first. We won’t go into what we make. But when I work I can take the kids with me and I generally make 100-300$ in a few hours so we make good money and do fine.
I’m a sahm. I had my kids in daycare one or 2 days for my mental health. But also for them to get better socially since they were completely terrified of social situations. My hubby pays for everything and I have a personal account of $200 a month in it. For coffee, DVDs, clothes, outings etc. Or I’d just go insane not having any money for anything. We budget. I buy Middle range food. My 3 kids are in school now and I’m studying.
Not married. Quit my job for my child’s health reasons. It was an agreement, he worked, I took care of doctors. I used all my savings to pay off my debt. I’d be handed his debit/credit card when I needed to go buy things for our child, also had access to his account. But he slacked big time when it came to supporting our family so I started doing side work to make extra money. Also I didn’t like not having money “of my own” and feeling like I had to ask for money to go buy myself clothes.
The money … Money is money. Seems like there’s never enough of it!!
With a budget there will be enough.
So many ways to look at this!
Many have responded with after child care expenses it didn’t make sense. So much truth there. It’s not just the cost of childcare… so many other “costs” with working. The gas, vehicle maintenance, wardrobe, the list can be lengthy. I found myself buying easily prepared foods that are often more expensive.
On the other hand …I also can understand wanting to work. If a woman wants to work that’s ok too and then the money is secondary. I have been so inspired by some sahm’s they devote time to finding free or reduced activities, bargain shopping and countless other things for the betterment of thier families and self. I am equally inspired by other Moms that work as well as spend time on things for the betterment of thier families and self!
Women and Mother’s are amazing!!
Do not let “money” be your deciding factor. There have been times that I have gotten by on a super duper tight budget. Now that I reflect back on those days I think of them as some of the best
Follow your heart. Enjoy those children.
It will all work out.
You being able to stay at home benefits everyone in your family. Don’t ever consider it an allowance. Part of a great team. 
Twice… Sortof. When our son was little, through Kindergarten, we realized my income was paying daycare, so I stayed home. Loved the time with him. Now I am “home again”, but not a sahm, as our son is 22 and independent. I wasn’t happy at work and my income was “bonus”. We talked it over and agreed that happiness was more important. I don’t have an “allowance”. I just check with him first. He keeps the budget (because I tried and am terrible at it!). If we can afford what I want, he says yes. If we can’t, he says, Not yet.
After my second was born, I started staying at home, Dad got a second job, I watched two other infants as well my own and my three year old. Babysitting was what I did as a stay at home Mom to help make ends meet. I only had to stay at home for six years, when they all got old enough for elementary school, I started working outside the home again, but having three kids under the age of five was way too expensive for child care. One of my favorite explanations to folks that didn’t understand why, or how I could or would be a stay at home Mom. The first five years are foundational developmentally, the relationships and bonds built during those formative years are essential to building a confident successful child. In the scope of your life, those five years of teaching your child everything you were taught, and reading to them and holding them when they fall down and cry, literally everything that is said and done to them will stay with them for life. Don’t you want your child to be looking to you to mimmick your behaviors, and follow your rules, you know them better than anyone already, and being understood is essential to a child’s happiness, at least before the age they can speak, to assure that there needs are being met. I highly recommend that you stay at home with your babies, they are only little for a little while, in the scope of your lifetime it’ll be the happiest years of your life, also the messiest, hardest, and sleepless, but after that gig you can go back to work, and basically whoop any jobs .! *# SAHM 2007-2013:grin:
Its sad. In the 70’s it was taboo to want to be a stay at home Mom. In the late 80s and the 90s, it was taboo to want to be a working Mom. After that, it was an income necessity for both parents to work even if you didnt want to. Whats even sadder, is the fact that majority of 1 income has to pay for daycare. 
I was very luck my husband provided for the family that I raised all three of my children as a stay at home mother.
My daughter became a stay @ home Mom raising 2 boys after the birth of 2nd child. The cost of day care @ that time would have been equal to what she would have made in an annual salary.
I been a sham for over a 11 years, I was let go because my oldest came early. Plus my hubby makes enough for me to stay at home. It fun most days, but rough on other days. I watch my boys’ first in everything and I loved it. I wouldn’t change it, but I do miss working sometimes.
I made pottery and did craft shows as well as consigned at shops to sell my wares. If you have a talent or skill that you can build upon do that!
I couldn’t afford to be a stay at home mom. My husband and I both worked so our kids could have a better life. There was no pay to stay home back then. I loved working!
I wish I could of really had noone I could count on
Anna Martin, I hope you reported daycare that spanked your child.
If you need 2 incomes to pay bills then you can’t quit unfortunately. We need 2 incomes to just pay the mortgage and all the bills. Depending on where you live one income will prob need to be atleast $75,000 a yr.
My husband and I decided after our second was born that I would be a stay-at-home parent. He was in the military and gone a lot so we wanted some stability at home. If a parent Dad or Mom wants to stay at home and can afford to do so should try to do so. I stayed at home for 17 years with our 5 boys,towards the end of that I started college took me 8 years but I finally graduated with my bachelor’s degree in political science and I’m now a history teacher. I may be older I’m starting my journey and career but it was well worth it to have stability at home with our two-parent household.