Has anyone stayed with someone that cheated? I just found out yesterday my boyfriend of 6 years has been cheating on me… now, of course, he’s sobbing begging for me back. We just bought a house together and have a daughter… as much as I know I should leave… I don’t think I can I never in a million years saw this coming.
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Once a cheater always a cheater! Are you always going to wonder what he’s doing? Do you want your child to think this is acceptable?
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Once a cheat always a cheat. Find better for you and your daughter.
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Yep and we are over 21 yrs strong together. If BOTH people truly WANT it, you can beat it…you can forgive but never forget.
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We separated for about a year and a half, but got back together and things have been better than they were before.
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They will do whatever because they got caught but it will happen again and that trust is hard to get back. I stayed and after I became obsessed with knowing what he was doing because it hurt me. Fast forward years later I married someone else. Found out he cheated and instantly divorced. You are worth more than that.
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Run and dont look back.
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Yes I did but there was a consequence to it … then he never did it again lol 
my husband of 10 years now .
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You are the only one who can make that decision. If you decide to stay, you are teaching him how to treat you. He will think he got away with it and unfortunately it will probably happen again but not always. If you decide to stay you have to completely let it go. You cannot throw it in his face every time you’re mad. You will both have to work on your relationship for a long time. It’s very hard to rebuild trust.
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I couldn’t forgive or forget
Leave. He’ll do it again.
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I stayed with mine for almost 7 years and I can say that it probably will happen again. He may say it won’t but it will. Leave now because it will just leave you with low self-esteem and you don’t deserve that. Someone guy out there will love you the RIGHT way. It’s not worth staying at all
Follow your heart hun.
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I did. And we’ve been together 15 years now
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Its so hard mama i was in a thirteen year relashionship and had 2 babies i stood i felt empty it never was the same after i left i tried to make it work but i just hated him so my advice to u is if u stay remember u always resent him. I think u really know what to do in ur heart
Leave. And never look back.
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I’m going through the same thing except I found out last week 
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That’s up to you. Do you want him to fix this and earn trust, are you willing to help and trust again? Yes, he cheated, but unfortunately it takes two to make it work now.
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I stayed, twice…he did it a third time. Leave. If he was sorry he wouldn’t have lied and cheated to begin with.
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You go absolutely nowhere. You kick HIM out and keep the house for stability for your daughter. When you are ordered child support you can use it to help pay for the house. If you stay with him you are telling him that you are fine with being cheated on and that you will allow it to continue and it will definitely continue. 
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That’s your decision to make. I know what it’s like going through it and just wanting to hear from that one person that everything was perfect and he really did change, I’m sure there’s a few of those comments in here to satisfy that need. But in the end it’s what you’re comfortable with, but keep in mind that you’re daughter is watching you (idk how old she is obviously) I personally would not settle for anything I’d want my child to go through, because I refuse to set an example that being treated less than deserved is acceptable. Good luck though whichever way you go I hope it works out
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Run. I stayed for 7 years after the first. The affairs never stopped. But 5 years post divorce, thriving. Know your worth and go.
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I could easily say run. I have a son with my boyfriend. He has cheated more than once. And I’m still here. Things are better now I think. He seems different more committed. I think every situation is different. And only you truly know
Yes. It takes a while for things to get back to some normalcy but it got better. 2 kids 6 grandchildren . If u. want it to work it can. But I wouldn’t even think about it unless he went for therapy. Which he did !
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Sad, but he will do it again!
He did it and if he gets away with it, he’ll do it again. Show your daughter how a woman should be treated and leave.
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Is he the father to your child ? I say if you really love him and can’t see your life without him, he’s a good father to his daughter, if he isn’t abusive or anything try to give him a second chance we all human and make mistakes but if he’s abusive and just using you everyday type of thing making you feel worthless idk the situation if it was once he cheated or if he’s done it multiple times then I say leave with no hesitation!! Just remember if you do split with your partner for cheating reasons to not bring the child into this as some parents usually do
I guess it depends on what level he cheated? Like was it texting other people or was he fucking other people? Personally if he was texting other people I would try to at least make it work but if it was the latter I would leave without looking back.
No. If he cared enough about you, he wouldn’t have done it in the first place. Taking him back is basically letting him know that it’s okay to continue cheating
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my husband stayed when i cheated…and that was 6 years ago…not every cheater cheats again.
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Kick his ass out. I did and now I hate myself.
If you stay with him it shows him he can do it and you’ll deal with it which gives him a green light to do it again. Leave him…if he wants you back he has to work for it on your terms but if you just stay it shows him he can do it again.
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I’m sorry you are going through this.
I’m sorry life is hard.
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Never again trust a cheater they will do it again
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Yes but in the long run it doesn’t work and you deserve better save the headache leave now in time you won’t regret it for a Second. There is much better is out there for you and your child x
You’re better off leaving him now. The sobbing begging shit is because he got caught. He will be more careful the next time. Leave mama❤️
If you stay it will be hard to trust again and not always be worrying about where he’s at or who he is texting. I stayed and tried to forgive but I brought it up all the time for a year and couldn’t let it go and he did it again and i finally let go because I knew I was never going to be able to trust and it was ALWAYS in the back of my mind and I couldn’t let it go. It’s hard when the person you thought would never do that to you does it. It breaks you.
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Do not leave your home. You know him best. If he cheated once do you see it happening again? If you think it might get out of the relationship. The pain doesn’t go away so only you know how you’ll live with it.
It’s hard, just like being in an abusive situation, stand tall shoulders up, you deserve much better
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Leave, this happens to me with my older children’s father and we only lasted a while before he was cheating on me with yet another female. Once trust is broken your relationship won’t ever be the same.
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He can change if he TRULY wants to. Make couples counseling a priority and a condition of giving him another chance. Many think once a cheater, always a cheater. But if he wants to do better and works on it, it can be a beautiful thing and a great relationship could blossom…in my experience anyway
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I would’ve with my sons father but after he cheated he decided he wanted to be single and be with whoever he wanted
I stayed, we were not married but I felt it was just a piece of paper. He left one night and married her next. He wanted to come back, and I wanted to keep my family together. I regret doin it. But I kept my family together and thats what was important to me
Listen to your
Heart not your head. Hope you make the right
Decision
Like most have said its easy to say go…but I stayed and glad I did. Shit happens and no one is perfect. Love is messy…its what you can get past and what you can’t get past in the end.
I know someone who took there spouse back after they cheated and now they seem to be happier and they make it work, it just takes time
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I have
It’s not the same relationship as before but if both partners are willing it’s possible to grow from it
Monogamy Is not easy or natural… but I think the circumstance plays a big role in it to
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Sorry it never works … once a cheater always a cheater plus you will never trust him again as much as you want to the damage is done
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I stayed. And continued to get cheated on, so I left. It was extremely hard and it broke my heart more than it should have. Few years later I am with a man who absolutely loves my son and adores me the way I adore him. Not ONCE have I even THOUGHT about him maybe cheating on me. Moving on will be hard, but it will be so worth it!!
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If you stay I highly suggest couples counseling . If you decide to leave then you keep the house ,you shouldn’t be left out and uncomfortable with a child to care for he was perpetrator so he should leave then. Good luck its Seriously a hard situation.
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It’ll NEVER be the same just leave
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I say, if you can forgive him, stay. But if you’re going to stay, his cheating needs to stay in the past. (Of course unless he does it again, if so leave him)
If you are going to leave, then leave him and don’t look back.
Me personally I would and could never stay with a cheater. All I would think to myself is, what if he would have gotten an std? What of she would have gotten pregnant? What of it wasn’t just a one time thing? How could he do that to me In the first place? Why wasn’t he thinking of me? Was he thinking about his family? What else could he have been lying about?.. I feel like as woman we make too many excuses for the man we love, but if you cheated on him, what would the outcome be? Ultimately, it’s your decision to make, and yours alone. Please do not base it off the fact y’all have been together for 6 years and have a daughter together.
He’s probably only crying because he got caught???
If he came out and told you from guilt, that is one thing. If you found out, then just throw the man away.
The more I think about it. I would have to leave… I would be an insecure wreck, I would all was be questioning him, and it in the back of my mind. I would feel disgusted letting him touch me knowing he touched another woman…
It’s your job to set the sample for your daughter.
Would you be okay if a man did this to your daughter? If the answer is no, then walk away… You’re teaching her what is okay and what is not okay for a man to do to her.
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Yes. It really hurts. I’m still with them but its hard to trust again your always wondering if its going to happen again.
Not one shoe fits all, we are all human, was in that situation, managed to save marriage, but took a lot of work on both sides, once trust is broken hard to get it back, good luck
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I got cheated on after being together for 8 years. Choose to stay and it took me a LONG time to get past it and ‘joke about it’. I decided once can be a mistake but twice is a habit and I told myself Id never stay around if that happened. So far so good and now 13.5 years in, but gosh did it change ME.
Its a personal choice and you do you and what you feel is right. Dont get caught up in the opinion of others who dont know your relationship and who arent emotionally invested. Its so easy for people to say ‘You deserve better’ or blah blah but a lot of those people wouldnt follow their own advice if put in that position
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No way would I stay. In fact I didn’t allow it. Filed for a divorce as soon as I could. That was one (#1 in fact) of my deal breakers for my marriage. It’ll be a deal breaker if the current hubs were to cheat. I just couldn’t get past the disrespect.
He has rocked the foundation of your relationship and he needs to know that if you stay there will be questions and he needs to be ready to deal with the consequences of his actions. Me personally, I wouldn’t waste another day feeling like I wasn’t good enough so I’d get out. You deserve better, you are enough.
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I personally wouldn’t
I mean only you can answer that question. It is up to you if you can forgive and move passed it. It is so hard and for me has been two years and I still have anxiety over it, still have sleepless nights, still no trust and I really think our relationship will never be the same.
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People can and do make mistakes , it’s all on how you truly feel , and if your even willing to put yourself back in the position where it could happen again and being able to trust it won’t , it’s hard but not impossible. I would def suggest having an open conversation and asking questions and putting everything on the table so u can make a better decision, there’s always three sides to a story his there’s and the truth , just don’t make an rash decisions . And your entitled to time to figure it out . Best of luck 
Yes., I stayed after all those pain and heartaches:cry:
we’re married for 21 years and we have 3 kids thats the reason i choose to stay:cry:
Don’t waste your time!
Sad part of you stay ,every day you will wonder if he’s cheating
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From my personal opinion and experience. If he’s willing to do therapy with you and you want to try. Go for it. But also consider yourself. I was able to forgive but two years later still can’t forget. I doubt everything and while he has yet to do the same thing again. Certain behaviors lead me to believe it will eventually happen…
He wasn’t sobbing and begging for you then when he was cheating:woman_shrugging:.
Nope, he’ll do again… Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday.
I couldn’t do it. I know myself and I know I could never fully feel the same for my SO if he cheated. It would constantly be in the back of my mind and would consume me knowing I had no trust left for him… I’m sorry this happened to you 
. I’ve been there.
I personally would always second guess, and that’s not how I want to live my life. I’m no Saint, but if I crossed that threshold, I walked away.
Leave once a cheat always a cheat hes only crying cause he got caught
Just remember once a cheater always a cheater
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Okay no I took my ex husband back after he cheated on me and he kept cheating the crying and begging is their way of manipulating you into taking them back.
No matter how long you’ve been with him I wouldn’t get back together because it’s gonna happen again no matter how many times they tell you it won’t. Who knows if he’s cheated in the past and just has never been caught
Yeah unfortunately, i was early on pregnant with our son when I first found out, gave him another chance cause I was pregnant. He did it again shortly after we got married after our son was born, but I wanted our son to have both his parents so I let it slide… Moved states and then found out he’s bene cheating this entire year and alot of other things happened aswell, stayed cause I can’t afford to be in my own or move back, and then got pregnant again though I just hate the timing, I’m in school, and he’s doing it again. I give up, but I’ve got school to finish a baby to bring into the world and another 18month old to keep raising and worry about.
He’ll do it again it just up to you if you’re happy to put up with that
I stayed after being cheated on and the other person just continued to do it over and over again. Even after the crying and begging and promising to never do it again. The only thing I got out of it was more children that I eventually had to raise on my own. Also the problem with staying is the other person can’t deal with the consequences of their actions. You won’t be able to trust them for a long time and that changes things so much. Better to just deal with the hurt and pain now and move on with your life.
who’s name is on the mortgage…. just saying.
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I believe once a cheater always a cheater. They don’t stop they just get better at hiding it. You staying just solidifies that you will tolerate such disrespect. No thank you 
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I tried before, several relationships and my previous marriage… Unfortunately I found that they just keep going and doing the same thing. They beg, cry, plead, say all you want to hear and even change… For a bit. Know your worth and do what you feel is right. If you stay, protect yourself and don’t be blinded by love. You deserve so much better. Stay strong momma… There are good guys out there that don’t cheat. Trust me
It was never the same. I lost all respect.
I did , with a previous ex of mine…I stayed with him, and he eventually cheated on me again. And again. It was awful…cus at the time, really loved him so I always came back. It was very damaging. I will never put myself through something like that again. You deserve better! 
Yep… i stayed… its happened a number of times now… and no i dont trust him, im always wondering if hes up to no good again, and i hate feeling like that… BUT for some stupid reason i still love him, the kids need him, and im not sure id cope on my own on a farm in moddle of nowhere with no friends or support… im ok with my decision to try again at this stage but he knows this is the last attempt at salvaging our marriage.
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The only comfort you will feel now is when you decide that you are the boss of your own destiny.
Ask him to gather some things and leave so you can think. He cannot bw there while you make this decision
Ask him to help you with the bills so your daughter doesn’t suffer. Offer to allow him to see her as much as you are able.
After you live apart for a few months you will have a clear enough head to decide what your relationship looks like.
Often, when we remove the fear of going solo by facing it head on the true value of our relationships become obvious.
Find peace in the knowledge that you can do this without him and should you keep him its because you allow him to return. Take your power back.
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If you are willing to forgive him and stay, make sure you really do forgive him and move past it or it will destroy you on the inside and eventually the relationship. Make a choice and stick to it. Don’t stay in a situation that puts your mental health at risk. If you think you might be suspicious to the point of checking his emails, phone, or keeping track of his every move, in my experience, it’s exhausting.
Figure out now what you will need from him in order to be able to begin to gain trust again and see how far he is willing to go to meet those needs.
If he’s sincere, he will willingly give you these things just to ease your mind because he is sorry.
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I couldn’t and wouldn’t do that. I told my husband if he ever cheats I’m gone. I would never and have never cheated on anyone I’ve ever been with. I was in a previous marriage and my first husband did Cheat on me. That’s just one of the many reasons I left him. My husband now is completely honest with me and I trust that he wouldn’t do that to me and our son. I wouldn’t stay if I were you. That’s my opinion. That goes against the 10 commandments and every thing holy in a marriage
I literally lived that life. Was cheated on for 4 years and didn’t even know it until 3 months til the end. I tried to forgive him and let him tell me he wasn’t doing anything anymore and tried my hardest to believe him but unfortunately once a cheater always a cheater. I caught him yet again talking to the same woman on snapchat and Facebook after the fact of him saying he had ended all ties with her. Never would I stay in a relationship again if they was cheating. Heck for that matter haven’t been in a relationship since then because he messed me up as a person in general at trusting anyone ever again. And hurt our 2 kids through it all.
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Leave. If he cheats once he will most definitely cheap again. I promise
You cant leave now but one day down the track youll start to hate him. You’ll look at him and be disgusted that he could do that to you and your daughter. Thats not love.
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You just found out so it’s hard to say what the answer is for you. If you want to stay then stay. If you want to leave then leave. There aren’t any rules but what works for you.
For me, I wouldn’t be able to fix that deep of a break in trust. I’d always be worried about it happening again and that worry would end it forever.
Take him back and he will lose a little bit more respect for you. He doesn’t deserve you. He knows what he was doing. I would leave
No point in staying with him in my opinion, he’s only crying because he got caught.
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It is possible. Its a lot of work and takes a very long time to regain trust. We have been back together for 5 years after a 3 month separation. I can’t imagine my life without my husband I love him with all my heart. We have 3 kids together. It has been a struggle at times and I still ask him who he’s talking to when he’s texting and we have the location app so I can see where he is and he me. He has to really want to be right. Took him 3 months away to realize what he lost
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I did. Were still together, we have good days and bad days. The best advice I can give is, if you choose to forgive him, you have to forget too.
You can PM me, if you’d like to talk about it.
Hell no. He wasn’t thinking of my feelings when he cheated, so I didn’t think of his when I put mine first & left. Your child will allow herself to be treated how she sees you being treated, take that how you will🤷🏽♀️
The answer depends on if he slipped up and cheated just once and only in a physical sense or did he carry on a long term affair? Personally I might be able to forgive a single betrayal but if he’s carrying on a second life and having a full relationship with someone else and cheating repeatedly then I couldn’t get over that. If he stood in your face and lied and you forgive him then he has no reason to not do it again.
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You don’t just let it go, its not that easy. It takes alot of work from both partners and I think councling is a must.
He has to prove himself to you again and you have to work on forgiveness and trusting.
But it takes a looong time!
Personally I don’t give second chances for cheating because it takes me alot to trust and I’m very clear in the beginning that I don’t give second chances.
He made the choice to cheat, KNOWING what it would do you, but his own desire was greater than his respect for your relationship. I am sure he is sorry ( that he got caught). No Hon… It will never be the same again…EVER… You have to decide if that is what your children will be brought up in. Be a proud woman, teach them, you value YOURSELF…you got this… Good luck no matter what you decide.
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The answer is whatever feels right to you!!! My husband cheated and I stayed. It does take awhile to forgive but it can be done. We have been together for 16 years now and I am the happiest that I have ever been with him. If you don’t think that you could ever get over it then I would say leave but I would give it some time before deciding.
Yes and we are still together. And yes I trust him now and no he hasnt cheated again. Let me be clear, its HARD WORK. I would actually say it’s harder than leaving. You have to actually be willing to forgive and work on your relationship or it will never work. It hurts and hard to learn to trust again, to forgive. Its completely possible to come back from it. But it’s more work than most people want to put it. You have to go into willing to put the work in to forgive. And honestly it’s kind of a question of whether you truly think he regrets and wont do it again as plenty have said their partners did again. This comes down to you as individuals. Can u see yourself forgiving him, can you see yourself ever trusting him. And I will say forgiveness doesnt mean forgotten. To this day it still hurts, even though my hubby has proved himself. It took us a long time to get to good place again. A few years of working through the pain andbetrayal, of absolutetransparency to earn my trust. It’s hard if you dont think your capable of the forgiveness or arent willing to put in the work. You need to walk away.
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It’s hard to give advice on this sort of situation. If he is TRULY remorseful and committed to changing and going through the highs and lows of healing with you, then I say go for it. It’s not something you will ever forget, but you could potentially forgive. Rebuilding the trust back won’t happen over night and he needs to be aware of that. But it is something you will eventually have to let go, you can’t throw it in his face every time you’re mad, you both have to work towards moving forward from what’s happened. In some cases it can work, some people even end up stronger than before, but I know for a lot of people it either ends up happening again, or they realise they just can’t get past it, which is fair.
Good luck!
You will always want to see the best in the father of your child but he may or may not ever see it in himself. I was married for 16 years to my kids dad a d I can not even count how many times he cheated on me. I feel now, looking back, if I had left earlier maybe I would have a better life. I strongly feel when I forgave the 1st one he felt he I would forgive him. He literally destroyed me. But yes it is only a decision you can make.
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I stayed. He was cheating while I was pregnant AND when I was out of town for my grandmother’s funeral. He continued to be unfaithful. I was miserable. Even had baby #2. I should have walked away the first time!!!
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