Has anyone stayed after their partner cheated?

If you choose to stay, try the Love Dare there is a FB support group as well. Watch the movie Fireproof. Get counceling. At the very least you will be in each others lives because you have a child together. You have to work something out with some sort of forgiveness amd relationship going forward. Its new and raw now. If you want to work for it, it takes time, work, love, committment.

Ask yourself, will I be happier with him or without him, and you will have your answer.

coming from someone that stayed in a relationship for 7 years I’d say leave but that’s up to you. I was with a man that cheated on me and I believed him when he said it was just one time. I trusted him over anything and anyone and he continued to disrespect me by lying to me and cheating. At the end I found out how much he lied and cheated, I’m not saying he cant change. But it will take time for you to truly trust him again. Buying a house together doesn’t mean anything, I also had a house with this person and he made my life a living hell, he ended up leaving, leaving me with all the bills to pay on my own, I managed to pay everything on time and at the end I sold the house.
Personally after everything that happened, if my bf now cheated I wouldn’t be able to stay. I would always worry if he’ll do it again.

Your talking A LOT OF WORK he’s got to be willing to do. There will be some work on your part as well- which could lead to you resenting him at times.
Ask yourself, how long has he been cheating?
Is he actually sorry- or is it bc he was caught?
Is he willing to do what it takes to mend this or will he just be back to it again in a month?
If you decide to work on it with him, highly reccomend a therapist or counselor to guide you both. It won’t be easy- but if he’s truly going to do MORE than his part on this then try it.
My personal experience with a cheater is that I could never trust them again and made me so insecure. He didn’t care to mend a thing! I can’t speak for your man or situation I can only say what I’ve seen others go through and I do actually know of a couple that are still together after an affair and they are great. Good luck

You have to make the decision . Me personally would not stay with a cheater . Best of luck to you !

I couldn’t because once the trust is gone there is no relationship…a relationship is based on trust 1st to me and if he did cheat and I took him back I would always have it in my head hes cheating…if he did once and I took him back he’ll do it again and be more sneaky about it…now maybe if you can for real 10000% forgive and forget and act like it never happened I mean go for it if you want…

I stayed an only you will know when youve had enough… Unfortunately most people cheat again and they will do what you allow… I wish you the best

Yes. We are still together we’re now married and have a son and are very happy we did therapy. We work hard everyday. I trust him he hasn’t cheated since. It’s been about 3 years and we are closer than ever. Happier than before. Now everyone is different. You can’t let my story or anyone else’s affect you to much. Only you know what you can take and if you could handle it. One can decide for you. My entire family fought with me and told me how crazy I was and how stupid I was and he would never change but he did and my family love him now. You have to fight for what you want or what you don’t want. Don’t let anyone change your mind. Only you can make this decision

Look inside and ask yourself how did his cheating make you feel. Hurt ,pain , unworthy, not good enough, if so that’s not someone who truly loves you, who deserves you. You dont intentionally disrespect, and deliberately hurt th the person you love. Would you do that to him? Would he stay with you if you did? Know your WORTH !!! I know its scary to end it and go on but there is someone who will love you truly. Beside majority of the time he’ll do it again. As the saying goes " once a cheat always a cheat." Sorry your going through this.

I have but it was a more complicated situation in any event we both talked and I mean A LOT about what happened and we both agreed to stay together as long as we agreed to always be honest and open and we both have access to all accounts and to hold each other accountable for our mistakes we still have our issues and have considered counseling but we are still together we have been together for almost 10 yrs and been married for 6 and have one child together…listen to your instincts if they are telling you to to break it off then do it don’t torment yourself knowing it’s not going to work but if you think it can be salvaged then work on it I would suggest counseling together work on the things that need to be fixed and talk about how you feel and where u stand lay some ground rules you both can agree on hope this helps and best of luck

My ex husband cheated and i stayed
Then he proved himself unworthy as he continued to cheat
I stayed with my ex fiance after he cheated
Then he continued to treat me like shit so i left

Me and my husband were together for 8 years when he had an affair while I was pregnant with our son… I stayed and were are still together but it hasn’t been easy. I don’t think I’ll ever fully heal from the hurt I felt and I for sure still have trust issues with him…I could say leave but I could say stay. It’s really, in the end, your decision.

He is not sorry he did it. He is sorry he got caught. Dont fall for it. Once a cheater always a cheater. You know what you deserve.

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It’s A LOT of work from BOTH people but you BOTH have to want it to work. I found out my husband cheated on me 4 years ago. I thought we were happy, I thought we had the perfect life, we had a 2 year old and a brand new baby and I found out he had been cheating on me, sending pictures and talking to an ex while I was pregnant and then I found out a few months later he was in an emotional/sexual affair with a co worker. I stayed, gave him the second chance… I couldn’t mentally do it though, and it just continued. Once the trust was gone, it wasn’t coming back. I saw him completely differently. My whole world had completely changed and this man that was my whole world, I couldn’t look at him without being so disgusted and sick. It tore me apart for years. I resented him and was just so hurt for years. 3 1/2 years later, I decided to leave because it took such a toll and I believed our kids deserved to see BOTH of us happy. I asked for therapy, he refused and said he didn’t want anyone to tell him he made the mistakes and make him feel like crap. It’s been hard, divorce is traumatic whether you are the one initiating it or not, but honestly it was the best decision. Now that I am moved on and our divorce is almost finalized, now he thinks he’s gonna get his family back and wants to do the counseling… it’s too late.

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I did in a relationship once. The trust was never repaired and in the end I realized the biggest problem was the lack of respect, respect for me from him, and vice versa after the cheating came to light.

Good for you Angelique. Chin up, you can do it.

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Either way it’s hard… I personally believe he’ll probably do it again. But, I don’t know if I could trust again after something like that. Good luck… :heart::pray:

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If you think you can trust him again then sure. But if you look at him to see what he does when y’all pass a pretty girl, look over his shoulder as you walk by to see what he’s doing on his phone, going through his friends list, stalking the mistress, messaging her. Just let him go. Bc that’s not trust and it won’t get better.

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I would kick him out

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Couples therapy & personal therapy for both! Lots & lots & lotssss of communication. Also time. It’s not easy.

It’s so much work, he has to want it && They never feel like they need help

Honestly you’re never really happy again… I should have left sooner

Soon as I read boyfriend that was it for me. Husband wouldn’t have made it better but Might’ve finished reading

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My ex and I had gotten back together a few years after our ugly cheating breakup. He was fine, but I absolutely hated him. I tried so hard for our kiddo to like him, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t worth it to me.

I say if hes dumb enough to cheat hes dumb enough to lose his house!!! Fuck him and his feelings hes crying cause he fucked up not because hes sorry hunny!!! If he was sorry hed never have done it or came clean instead of u finding out… if he respected and loved u he wouldn’t have stepped outside the relationship no matter what was happening show that dirty what happens to dirty dogs!!! And how many times did he do it and with how many u will never know and itll always haunt u!!! There r men out there that dont cheat!!! Find urself a good man whod never do u dirty like that!!!

It depends. You wouldn’t want to be on those creepy crime shows. I would say here’s the door, or we switch phones constantly, and a tracker must be on his vehicle at all times

I Stayed, my husband of 16 years had an emotional affair and kissed the woman. I feel in my heart he slept with her but he would never admit it and at this point it wouldn’t matter it’s been 4 years and I’m just now starting to like him. Love was never the issue for me. You have to believe he wants to change and know you believe he is. It’s taken a lot of therapy A LOT. Our relationship will never be the same. Things have definitely changed. But I also took responsibility for my part in why he felt he needed to cheat. It’s hard, it’s mentally and physically exhausting. Had he been a boyfriend, I would have left immediately. Only you can make the right choice for you. Good luck. Pm me if you need to talk.

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Know your worth, don’t tolerate that crap! You deserve better!

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If you can trust him again. You’re the only one who can make that decision, and no one has a right to judge you for whatever decision you make. I will tell you my personal experience though. I was a junior in high school and I met this guy. He was the first guy that had paid any attention to me. I had “fallen” in love with him because he was my first everything. We graduated, I helped him get into college, he quit. He asked me to help him apply for jobs, I helped him. He found a factory job. At this job, it was the first encounter of him cheating on me. Of course I forgave him, because I was young and dumb and believed him when he told me he wouldn’t do it again. I was alway suspicious though. Would drive myself insane, reading his texts, etc. a few years past, he’s working at Walmart, he started mentioning this girl that was a “lesbian” I was working 16 hour days because he wasn’t making enough. He just didn’t come home one night and sure enough, he was back cheating again, he begged a pleaded with me, my self confidence went out the window. Fast forward about 3 more years, we’re in a good spot, I don’t even check his phone or anything, felt like I was finally healed. I got pregnant. He was “there” for me throughout my pregnancy. He slept through my whole deliver. We come home and split shifts for our son so I was able to get some sleep. He would let out some cry because he was outside talking to another girl. 2 weeks go by and he leaves for another girl. Almost 2 years down the road and I’m still recovering from everything that has happened.

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That’s very personal choice and decision. It takes a lot of work to make it afternoon and not just on your part it’s up to him to prove to you that he loves you he wants to be with you and that you can trust him. Without that you will always have this lingering feeling in the back of your mind. So if he’s willing to work it out and put in the work to ensure you too have a solid relationship then try and work it out if not just walk away.

Once a cheater,always a cheater…

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Leave or youll be cheated over and over again

You’ll regret keeping him

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I personally wouldn’t stay. I know I would just foster with hate and end it anyways. Just end it now to save yourself even more trauma.

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Nope I wouldn’t i always told my hubby from day dot you’ll only cheat on me once enjoy it coz you ll never see me again I could never trust him again always wondering where he was and with who thats no life

Once, but I decided to stay and work things out. He was so sorry. It never happened again. 38 yrs. Married when he passed.

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Yes and it will eat you away every single day , you will question everything , the trust will be gone , and it will destroy you :frowning: xx

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Yes. My husband cheated shortly after my son was born. That was 4 yrs ago. I stayed for my son and im glad i did for two reasons. First is he turned out to be an amazing father. He is not my sons bio dad but has taken on the responsibility of it. And two our bond is oddly stronger. We met shortly after i found out i was pregnant. i had my son 2 months early i was under alot of stress and he was working like crazy.

Anyway. It was really hard to get past it and it took work on both our parts to get past it. He later told me he was truly sorry it was the biggest mistake he ever made. He also said he feels and we both agree that his mistake made us stronger because now its like no matter our problem we know we can get through it because we got through that. The trust was the hardest to recover. But he has more then made up for it.

But it was very hard. Took so much work. And really isnt for everyone.

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Been there done that. In my case it didn’t work. I stayed… come to find out he couldn’t keep it in his pants. He ended up getting my best friend pregnant during our marriage. She apparently wasn’t the only one whom had a child with him(shes 5 now). There is an 8yr old boy also in question. (Long story that mother was married and so that goes like that. As his and i’s youngest child together is 9) … I don’t put up with cheating any more. 10yrs of my life gone. Wasted with someone who didn’t want me. (About 9yrs of cheating)…

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As soon as the trust is gone or/and resentment sets in, then there’s no going back from that x

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Work it out and even though it hurts you so deeply don’t give up on your relationship with your partner. Life and relationships can be very testing and it’s very important to not give up just because someone did the unthinkable to you. Forgiveness and moving forward together as a family having better communication skills and listening to each other. Do we just give up when something happens in a relationship. Married 30 years and we have had our testing times for sure. Forgiveness is really important and not holding onto resentment or it will destroy your relationship. Can you forgive him?

I left my ex fiance for this reason. He cheated on me
That’s a deal breaker for me. Trust is gone and really if you allow them to stay then they know they can keep doing it as you won’t kick them out. If he really loved you he wouldn’t have cheated. There’s no excuse for this

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Can forgive but you will never forget. Trust is diminished.

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For true sorrow under the right circumstance could take them back once, but a repeat I don’t think so.

I did and it mentally destroyed me. Eventually I left, regretted wasting the time I did knowing deep down the trust was too far gone for us to ever be truly happy and he’s cheated on every girl since!

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You’re already thinking about leaving… go with your gut feeling, it’s always right.

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Ouch this is a sore one, my eldest daughter’s father cheated on me, before we had her - and i always said once someone cheated that was it, i’d never go back… but like you, he was crying, full of apologies, begged for another chance & reluctantly i agreed to give it another shot… then i fell Pregs with her, naturally we didn’t work out & split for good when she was 4 mnths old… but if i didn’t get back with him… she wouldn’t be here so it was a bittersweet situation.

I stayed. He cheated when I was 8 months pregnant with his twins… I tried for a while year to save the relationship but he kept on cheating and eventually the other woman became pregnant… I realised I was worth a hell of a lot more than that and left.

The trust you had, is gone… You’ll always wonder if he’s doing it again and it could break you, my anxiety went sky high (I suffer with anxiety and depression) I was making myself ill worrying, think about yourself and your child first and foremost xx

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Once a cheat always a cheat dont be a door mat to any man… I was cheated on he was out the door with his stuff behind him, we have a 4 year old daughter an trust me you do get over it, hes a good dad takes his daughter weekends but id never look at him in that way ever again!! Infact I barely look at him even when he’s collecting the child… but I always say once a cheat always a cheat…

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It really depends. If you caught him while he was cheating currently (and not a mistake from the past) then that is a big hurdle. If he truly means it, I would give him another chance with the caviat that he lets you read all the messages between him and the other person dating back to when it first started, cuts them off completely (letting you witness him ending things), and then let’s you see his phone/computer whenever you want until you regain your faith in him. And if he ever does it again, that’s when you end it.

I have been in similar situations, and I understand. The longer you’re with someone, the more your life becomes tangled with them. You finally have a house and a child together, you have friends together, you’re attached to their family. You become afraid to lose the happiness you’ve achieved. I get it. No one can make the decision for you.

But it really depends on the kind of guy he is. I have been both the cheater and the cheated-on in past relationships. It doesn’t necessarily make someone a bad person if they cheat, especially if they are willing to work to make things right. BUT not everyone who says they will never cheat again will never cheat again. You are just going to have to trust your intuition.

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Not happening. Never. Not for a minute nor a second. They don’t love you, they don’t respect you, and they don’t give a F about your feelings.
Any single human who cheats thinks of the other as nothing but a door mat.
Do not do it. They did it once, you’ll fear a repeat forever after.

And there’s a reason he’s your ‘boyfriend’ and not husband or fiance after so many years.

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I have been in this situation, he will do it again, the trust is broken and you will always doubt the situation now, every time he’s late or doesn’t call/text back right away your mind will eat at you about it, you can leave, think about it this way, would you want your daughter to stay with someone that cheated on her?

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Leave and don’t look back. He will do it again.

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Yes and it doesn’t work

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While I haven’t been in this situation myself, my parents were. My mom cheated on my dad and he found out. They decided to work it out snd went to counseling together and individually. They made it work and were married 30 years when my dad passed. When someone cheats I don’t think it means they don’t love their partner, but rather something is missing (in their mind) from the relationship. If y’all can figure the root of the problem (with therapy) and can work through it then go for it. If it doesn’t work in the long run, at least you can walk away saying y’all tried.

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Leave…respect yourself he doesnt respect you.

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Everyone is so negative. Most don’t change, but there are the few that want to put in the work, my relationship is living proof.

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Leave. It’s hard, but he won’t change. I’ve been in this situation and he kept cheating and it jut broke me down mentally. I thought something was wrong with me and it got to the point where I just had low self esteem

Is the house in your name as well?

The thing is you can never get back what you had before. BUT There is a little hope you can start a new but with that being said you’ve got to be open minded and ready to leave the past

You don’t have to leave. Tell him to go.:v:

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I’m all for second chances, IF you can forgive him. But if you don’t see yourself being able to put it behind you, I’d move on. Trust your gut.

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Take that house for you and your daughter! Y’all deserve it, he doesn’t.

You are weak…get rid of the loser, or you deserve everything you’re about to get…cause it isn’t only gonna happen once dummy

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It is possible to fix it but he has to want it as much as you do. You all may need to go to couples therapy, but it isn’t always an end.

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I was just reading an article on celebrity marriages how one of the spouses cheated on the other they went to counseling and they got through it maybe go to counseling and if he doesn’t want to go to counseling then you know it’s not going to work

If you can work things out and build that trust and relationship back up, I saw go for it. Now if he’s abusive and cheating, that’s when you need to leave. I have a heart of gold and try giving people so many chances when I shouldn’t. But do what you think you need to do for your family.

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I can tell you from experience its doable, but definitely not easy. It’s f’ing to take alot of work and the why is the biggest question. There are so many factors

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How did you find out? Did he tell you, or did you catch him? If he got caught, I’d definitely leave. That trust is so hard if not impossible for most people to get back.

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Save yourself the heartache and wasted time of trying to work it out. I stayed for 13 years and my husband always sobbed begged pleaded confessed his ever lasting love so on and so on. They will always do it again. He had 5 affairs before I had the courage to finally leave for good.

I read somewhere you will forgive them and they will always know that no matter what happens you will always be there but every time you lose not only more respect for him but yourself also until you completely lose yourself and don’t even recognize who you are anymore.

Don’t let that be you!

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If someone admits what they did and is genuinely sorry I’d give them a second chance if you find out and they deny it or blame you I’d be out or if they do it a second time walk and dont look back

i know someone who did they have 3 kids together. He cheated 2 years ago and she still struggles. Don’t do it cause you have a house n child together. Think of you n ur daughter she needs to see you happy. I would leave

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Yes I have and the more I forgave the more it happened because he realized he could get away with it. Probably got cheated on 100 times and left for another woman 5 times before I realized he was just taking advantage of my kindness.

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In my opinion… if you stay with him after cheating, in his mind you’ll always stay when he cheats…so he will probably do it again…or it will always be in the back of your head. (Trust will be gone) I’m sure ppl can change… but cheating is a dealbreaker for me. Goodluck!

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I’m so sorry :disappointed: whatever decision will be very difficult. I hope you have enough support from friends and family. You will need them!

I found out my then boyfriend (now husband) cheated. It was definitely a difficult road. But as of today, right in this moment, I’m glad I stayed and we worked through it. Our relationship is as strong than it’s ever been and our situation happened 5 years ago. You have to be willing to work. Which means moving forward and not living in the past. If you plan to stay, don’t belittle him and remind him of it every chance you get. Don’t make him feel guilty. Just make him understand that he needs to gain your trust and that will take time. A. Lot. Of. Time.

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You don’t think you can leave, but when you consider what you’re about to face going forward, do you think you can stay? Will it be healthy for your child if you stay?

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After my dad cheated on my mom with a friend of the family she stayed. They did end up divorcing 4 years later. My dad cheated in my mom again with a co-worker. Of course he denied it, but my brother and I meet her a month after he moved out of the house.

Too long. It was soul wrenching. I learned a new strength I never wish to experience again. :pleading_face:

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Biggest mistake of my life

If he is TRULY and really sorry and realizes that he fucked up, it can work out. But its going to take A LOT of work for both of you. Mainly for you to get the point of trusting again and for him to show you that he can be trusted again. It definitely won’t be over night or even a year. I know this from experience, except I am the one that had the affair. We are still together now. Its been 9 years and we are still working through things. The trust isn’t easy to gain which is why I said it will take a lot. Now, if he does it again, then I would say leave.
I hope you can figure things out and get past this. I hope he realizes that he did wrong and what he really truly has. :heart:

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Only you know if you can handle it or not

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My father in law did that to my mother law. I once asked her how she let that go. She told me you forgive dont ever forget and make sure you can live without them. You need to decide whats right for you and your daughter if that’s staying and trying to make it work go for it. If that’s leaving than go for it. Not everyone will continue to cheat but some will. Its gonna take a lot of strength either way.

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Even if you took him back, All trust would be gone. Wouldnt be a healthy relationship anymore at that point. Not worth it in my opinion…no matter how much you love someone. Sorry you’re going through that.

Do for you and your daughter. Cheaters never change. I did this one too many times, forgave over and over and over again to plenty that never deserved it. You dont need the emotional roller coaster and your daughter doesnt either. Please tell him to gtfo.

If I were you, I would leave. I don’t need anyone badly enough to be treated like dirt. Cheating is not an accident. He didnt trip and slip into her. There had to be some effort. If he doesn’t respect you after 6 years, if he doesn’t respect the promise you made to each other, if he doesn’t respect the mother if his daughter, and the example that he is setting for his little girl he never will.

If it was your daughter that had a cheating husband what would you say to her?

Find a network of people who support you, got your back, and are willing to help you and walk away. Your family deserves better :two_hearts:

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Yes. My husband cheated 10 years ago. I still have problems even 10 years later. But it was worth forgiving.

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Don’t do it. They will think they can do it again and get away with it because you stayed . His loss, not yours.

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Give it another go and make sure it’s the last warning, it can work again but will take time

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I was married for 6 years and caught him cheating. I went back and tried to make it work for a year and just couldnt get myself to love or forgive him. So I divorced him and now I’m happy!!! It’s really about if you can forgive and forget if you want it to work, if you can’t forgive and forget it will never work. There will always be animosity in your relationship.

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Tried for a year after I found out, but made me hate him and I finally left.

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I was with my BD for 12 years (we were together since 12 years old yes) he was a chronic cheater and manipulater. Last straw was when his teenage gf showed up while I was home. It was hard but now I’m so happy. Please hun. Your mental health matters. Speaking from experience staying will only drain your mental health. Stay strong love :heart::heart::heart:

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I’ve stayed time after time and same stuff happened but this time was just texting not physical. It still sucks n hurta

The past is the best predictor of the future stay if you want but expect more of the same

I stayed. Took years of healing and therapy for both of us.

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No one can give you better advice then yourself.
You are the only one who knows if it’s worth working it out or not. You are the one dating him.
If you think he can change and NEVER do it again then work with him and allow you both to talk about how you can get over it. It may take some time to heal over it but as long as your working together and hes proving the change then thats what matters.
If not then leave him and make a arrangement when he gets his daughter and when you get her. It’s tough but you can get through it if you want to stay and work it out! But be known it will take time! Goodluck :slight_smile:

I definitely couldn’t. That shows such an insane amount of disrespect so I feel like your relationship was already over when he did it…and by the way you said it he cheated more than once. He wasn’t thinking about you or your daughter so now you need to.

He exposed you to stds

If you stay with someone who has cheated, you will have forgive them, not just once but every time you are reminded of it. And that is hard to do.
You can’t be his keeper, you can’t make him be faithful and you have to be able to live with that if you stay.

I know some who are capable of it, but it does take a toll…and sadly you will be the one paying that toll

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Is he sorry or is he sorry he got caught?

Only you know your relationship…what if this happened to your daughter…would your answer to her be different than your answer to yourself?

Best wishes to you and whatever decision you make.

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Once they cheat they’ll do it again, not only does your daughter deserve better but so do you.