No I never have tolerated cheating in past relationships & never would. Had I tolerated such abuse, I wouldn’t have been available to date my husband! Love thyself.
My boyfriend cheated on me, the first year we were together for like 8 months of him sneaking around, messaging other girls, going on Craigslist trying to find a girl to meet up with, etc. Even told his friends horrible lies about me to make him feel better about the decisions he was making. We stayed together. Had a child together. A couple years later, I ended up Making a mistake as of cheating. And I don’t know if it was because of the hurt from the very beginning, but somehow I just wanted to hurt him back because I was hurting for years. And so it didn’t make anything better, getting even doesn’t always solve the issue. But he forgave me. He was upset, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so much love from him after that. That’s how I knew that he really did love me. I Wish it never happened but it did.
I have taken cheating partners back multiple times. In the end you grow a thick skin. But I had to learn the hard way. Do whats best for you. Best wishes xx
I guess I might forgive him if it was a drunken one night stand. But anything more than that is an affair and I couldn’t forgive that.
I stayed and wasted four more years, just for him to do it again. Life’s too short, do what makes YOU happy and if you’re spending your days wondering, over thinking, and waiting for him to do it again, don’t.
His dick has literally been in someone else… He’s touched someone else in ways u thought he only touched you. I’m sorry but as much as u would want… Things will never feel the same. And he’s not sorry, the crying is a go to move when ur in the wrong. If he had told you himself, it would be understandable for the tears, but even still…if you decide to stay with him, you’re mentally stronger than me…x
I stayed. He kept doing it and blaming me for being mean. He grew more and more emotionally abusive, tried to make me feel bad about worrying over it, and kept telling me to forgive and forget. I kicked him out after 3 1/2 years.
No cheating man is worth losing your self love, your self respect, and your peace of mind.
You must do whats right for you . We all make mistakes. I personally give people second chances. Go to couples therapy if you can .
Bf of 6 years and not husband means he don’t give a f about you anyway.
even if u forgive him u should still leave. think of your daughter and set an example. that behavior is absolutely unacceptable.
I did. Biggest mistake ever. He just kept doing. Same bullshit excuse after the other. Finally, when I caught him and the mistress together again. So, my baby daddy was recently separated from his wife, we hooked up. Wasted 6 years with my husband, that I could have spent with my fiance.
Seperate the sex from the word love. Thay are not the same. Your expectations are whats hurting you. Perhaps, and likely, someone in your life told you a man who cheats doesnt love you. I believe that to be crap. Men and women are sexual beings. Who, in thier right mind, would ever want that restricted. If you truly love him, like really truly LOVE him, than open up the conversation and let go of the age old expectation of fidelity and get real about your life with him. Demanding he change is only going to hurt you and your family. Dont, good heavens, Dont, let a coversation like this chain, decide your future. Who cares if anyone approves. This is your family. Love and Sex are NOT the same. Good luck sweet girl.
Once a cheater always a cheater
Ive stayed then it just happens again and again why because he knows that you’ll take him back nothing will be the same anymore you will feel insecure and the relationship is broken, you’re just trying to make it work and then he more than likely will get mad at you for feeling insecure and ask him why you don’t trust him when it’s clear… I know it’s hard, but you definitely should leave and find someone who won’t cheat on you
Leave him now , it’s only going to get harder and worse over the years . Love, loyalty, maturity!, and respect does not cheat!
The consequences are yours now. If he fks you up in your head from here on out , it’s your fault , your choice, your consequences because you have the facts that he cheats(ed) and you are consciously making a choice on that .
It’s up to you
I’ve walked the walk , so I can talk the talk .
yup. its alot of work to get through it but he needs to b the 1 to fix things, i had lots of therapy. this August was 3yrs since n im ok now. at first it was rough though, were 100x beyter then we were 3years ago tbo
Ive been cheated on, took him back, he cheated again. Took him back again. He then moved to be with another woman. Went from East Coast to West Coast with a woman he only met on fb. Well things flipped on him, she left him for another guy and went to another state to be with him. My guy wanted me to yake him back, but I couldnt not anymore. Screw me over once, shame on you, screw me twice, shame on me. But I wont give a third chance. Once a cheater always a cheater. And u will continue to think he is cheating. U will always be looking over your shoulder. He wasnt sorry he was cheating, he was sorry he got caught. Dont take him back.
Nope, don’t do it! Think of it as you signing his permission slip…bc he’s going to keep doing it.
#abortthemission
Yes. You have to ask yourself if you can let it go. If you can’t, and you throw it in his face when you are upset, the relationship is over.
Also, this does horrible things for your self esteem. I know this may seem over board to some, but counseling for yourself could be beneficial.
He needs to understand that if you stay, things will be drastically different, at least for awhile. If he wants to get defensive anytime you are feeling low, the relationship is over.
I love my husband and he is an absolute moron for what he did. We moved on and it’s been 8 years so far.
Ive been with my husband for 21 years on and off. When it was off he left me 2 times to marry someone else and we have been together non stop for 16 years. You have to think long and hard. Is this the man who will keep cheating? Is this who I am settling for or do I really love him? I wish u well
I tried to “work it out” after he "made a mistake, with more than 1 man. It NEVER WORKS. They DO NOT change their behavior, they DO NOT stop doing it… plus he’s ruined the trust, and made you look foolish for trusting him. You can try to look at it this way though, the child you have together doesn’t deserve to see you or him miserable, and is probably not old enough to remember alot of it, so hopefully it won’t create a long lasting bad memories. I’m sorry you’re going through this.
Stay with him, stack some money if you haven’t and dip
Yes, my So was cheating with some girl he worked with and told her that were just lived together for our 5 yr old… But we are married… It made me feel like nothing… But im so scared to move on or even leave because of the way the world is… I have been in a physically abusive relationship and i was molested as a child… It’s hard but just do for you act like he doesnt affect you i have been with my husband for 9 yrs so i feel your pain
Just remembered I’m sure he wasn’t sobbing and asking for forgiveness when he did it. Your relationship will never be the same.
Once they cheat they will always cheat,even if they say I’m sorry never do it again,they will.so leave n save a lot of heart break.
I tried to stay, but it didn’t work.
I stayed through it 3 times. I thought I could last after the third time because we have a daughter together. I Divorced him. Once a cheater always a cheater. Never used to believe that. I’m sorry you are going through thos
Nope, go. You will never trust him fully again.
I did but eventually I left.
Give him another chance make it clear that he will have to earn your trust back and will have to make a lot of concessions to gain that trust. I would start with insisting on relationship counseling to figure out why he did it.
I did and he never changed. I packed his bags and handed him to his side chick on a silver platter.
Your boyfriend is going to change no matter what he says. He is who he is.
Once a cheater always one.
Whatever you choose always remember… don’t sit and wonder what’s wrong with you that made him do that. There’s always something lacking with men that make them feel superior when they cheat. It’s a void in himself he’s gotta fix.
Only You can know what You can ,or will accept, but if You decided to stay , I would Really watching for Signs of Him cheating
I
I stayed for several years after and it was miserable. Every time we would argue or he would do something that seemed sketchy, the cheating was back on my mind. I really tried but I couldn’t get over it and later I found out the cheating never stopped, he just got better at hiding it. I’m on my own with the kids now and much happier.
You’re not married don’t stay.
Gaining trust back is extremely hard. It ends up making the cheater get annoyed,angry and cheat again from trying to gain the trust back.
Seriously it never gets better.
I stayed. But I live on the edge of commitment and regret everyday. My love for him changed. It has never been the same.
Yes I stayed and surprise, after all those long talks and forgiveness, he did it again…They only change if THEY want to.I was only showing him I would accept his behavior by taking him back.Yea he crying now and sorry but he just showed you his character and what hes capable of… Life is too short wasting time worrying about the what’s and why’s of his cheating…Move on and be happy…
RUN…know your worth:heart:
Once a cheater always will be
I stayed with my oldest daughter’s dad after he cheated on me…three times. Looking back, I wish I would’ve left after the first time instead of hoping he’d change his ways. I wasted 6 years of my life with someone who didn’t love or respect me enough to keep it in his pants. I tried my hardest to get over it, but every time he was working late or hanging out with friends, I’d wonder if that was the truth or if he had friends covering for him again. Every time he kissed me, or touched me, all I could think about was her. It was pure torture for me but I thought I didn’t deserve better or I couldn’t do better (I have severely low self confidence). Unfortunately, it took a huge fight and a suicide attempt to make me realize that’s not how I wanted to live and not what my daughter needed to see or be around. If you stay, more power to you. Whatever choice you make, keep your kids in mind. They’ll be living in it too.
This is a hard question to answer. We are all different. And it’s not something you can answer over night. Unfortunately, it will take time…
itll be years of this without help
Don’t leave, kick him out
Mine didn’t change at all. I’m happier than I ever was with him. These are issues you can’t change, this is an issue with him that he needs to take care of. This has nothing to do with you. Until he seeks professional help with those issues than I wouldn’t take him back. I wasted 3 years old my life with mine, back in forth. Worse 3 years of my life, but I do have my son so that’s makes up for it completely.
Think about the message you want to send your child and yourself. Forgiveness, get counseling, give him another chance. Or count your losses and move on letting him and your child know that some actions are totally unacceptable and you are worthy of respect and fidelity. Prayers for wisdom.
Remember this, he is only crying because you found out, he didn’t come to you and ask for forgiveness and divulge what he had done, he will do it again, I know, I stayed with a serial cheater for 16 years and it was the worst mistake I could have ever made, do not look back, I know that most women feel that they have so much history with the person that they can forgive them, I’m here to tell you, you can’t, nothing will ever be the same again, you will never ever fully trust him ever again, it is something no relationship Ever comes back from no matter how hard you think you can try, cut your losses.
Has anyone experienced fluid around your baby’s kidney(s)? Preferably in the womb and if it didn’t go away what happened ? is it something to be worried about ? My dr has yet to get back to me about it.
I did. Why? Because when he got caught I asked for divorce and he jumped out of our moving vehicle leaving him in a coma for a few weeks and now with a severe traumatic brain injury and 3 brain surgeries. He’s now developed a seizure disorder as well: all because he Was selfish. We also found out while he was in a coma that I was pregnant with our baby. He hasn’t done it again to my knowledge but when I say it isn’t easy I am by no means exaggerating.
I stayed after! It’s ultimately your decision! If you can forgive & move on with your life with him then do so & if you can’t let it go then let him go! Do what you feel is right for you & your daughter!
Leave. You deserve better.
How do you think you will react the first time you try texting/calling and he doesn’t respond/answer? Will your mind automatically think of him being with someone else? Can you live with that if you do?
Girl, RUN! You deserve better. Every human being deserves better.
Please leave who cares about the house care about your mental health if he’s cheating who knows what else he’s hiding he clearly doesn’t love you and your child to do that. Don’t waste your time on him. Who cares about him being a father you can meet a better man out there. You can have your child all to yourself and just have a few years to yourself x
Will happen again so runnnnnnnn… Trust is hard tó get back…
As a good friend once told me: There are worse things than being alone. He may be one of them.
Either way, stay or go, you need to seek advice from someone neutral. Not your friends or family, not his either. Find your pastor or a counselor that you can work with. Either way you’re going to need help. Trust is broken and you’ll need to deal with your own feelings moving forward no matter if you stay or go. Make sure your decision comes from a good place, not an angry or hurt place. Get your mind and spirit in a good place before you decide anything. Personally, I’d like to think I’d be able to try to work it out but realistically I don’t know that I’d be able to truly forgive my husband and move forward. That’s a real deep wound and those are hard to mend.
I did. I chose forgiveness. I also chose forgiveness on many other human nature’s moments. We all fall and do stupid stuff, sometimes deliberately. I still choose forgiveness and love. It’s amazing what you learn about a person as life goes on. I’m still looking in the mirror for perfection and yet haven’t found it yet. 3 boys, 20 years and a happy home. It’s your life, you make it what you will.
I did and it NEVER stopped.
Been there done that. I finally had enough after 6 years and multiple I’m sorry’s. I wanted better my kids and I! You deserve better!
Nope! Cheaters always cheat again
Yup so far okay and we just moved into our new place and a baby otw
I have and I felt bad. We’ve both stayed together. Been together almost 13 years.
Yes, I stayed and we worked through it together with a therapist and we have never been stronger and more connected! I can honestly say that our old relationship had died, and we rebuilt our life together step by step - together. I am so proud that one day, we can share our story with our children.
That old saying of once a cheater, always a cheater - it isn’t so. We want to hate cheaters, and kick them to the curb because betrayal hurts like nothing else. But it really isn’t so black and white.
Find a good therapist you and your husband can both feel a connection with, and give yourself the space and time to see how you feel.
Best wishes