My second husband cheated on me and got her pregnant and I did take him back but I couldn’t trust him. We did marriage counseling and he end up cheating on me again with the same woman and left me! The first time he Cheated I was devastated but the second I was like F off I deserve better
I am now with someone who would do anything to make and Keep me happy he understands I have insecurities but still think I’m the most amazing woman
Don’t settle for less you deserve someone who wouldn’t hurt you
It all depends on your personal situation and of you can forgive him and if you both are willing to put in work to fix it. My husband had an affair almost 3 yrs ago. Found out when I was 7 months pregnant we then when thru a nasty separation he he asked to come home when our youngest was 2 weeks old. I agreed to give it a try but had rules he needed to follow and he did and has. It hasn’t always been easy bit I’m glad I stayed and fixed it. We really are in a better place. But he also knowns if he ever steps out doing anything shady even a text and I take our three kids and will file for divorce bc I wont five him a second chance. My biggest advice is if you cant truely forgive him and move one let him go bc it wont work. Be mad as long as you need bc getting over it takes time but also work on letting it go. And if he isnt on board with fixing it and doing whatever needs to be done for you then walk away.
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Its devastating. Lots of challenges are in a front of you.
Are u able to trust him again?
U know yourself . Be smart and think about U. Not staying for your child, not staying because your weak , no.
What do u feel?
follow that.
A mistake is forgetting to set the trash can out not having sex with another woman. Cheating is a conscience decision. He knew what he was doing, he knew it would hurt you. Leave him. I was with someone,before my now husband, who cheated several times, I wasted several years… never again! Do not take that crap from anyone!
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Look at your daughter and ask yourself if youd want your daughter with a man that cheated on her , with a man who did god knows what with another woman and then came home and kissed her goodnight with the same mouth he touched the other woman with. If you cant stand the thought of your daughter being treated like trash then you probably shouldn’t stand to let it happen to yourself either 
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Look at your whole relationship, not just what he has done. If cheating is a deal breaker, leave. But I can tell you that cheating is not the absolute worst thing that can be detrimental to a relationship. Feeling alienated, being taken advantage of, being controlled or financially/ emotionally abused and being treated like a maid can all be detrimental. Being in a loveless relationship can be a deal breaker. Unfortunately a lot of women in these types of unhealthy relationships will be the ones judging you the most if you stay in assuming with a decent husband. Everyone’s relationship is different. Not long ago, women were looked down upon if they divorced. It was a big no no for our grandmothers in the 50’s. Women were fools to divorce and a single mother was looked down upon. Fast forward and now you are a fool if you stay. How fuc*ed up is that!
I am going to tell you the three things that ARE MY OPINIONS BASED ON MY EXPERIENCES that will determine if your relationship is salvageable. Be honest with yourself when you answer as you are the one who has to make this life changing decision ( even though he put you in this position)
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Your husband’s response to being caught can and will have a lasting effect. Did he get angry, deny, project, blame you for the affair or for snooping? Was he remorseful, genuinely afraid to lose his family (not just cause he got caught)? What happened immediately after a betrayal is like laying the new foundation for your forever changed existing one. Be observant.
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How will he make this right. Although there is nothing that can right the months sometimes years of lying, what is he willing to do to gain your trust enough to salvage the relationship? Is it realistic? Will it bring you peace of mind?
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You need to leave. Or he needs to leave. A couple of days even. If leaving is not optional, go to a separate bedroom and sleep there, locking your door. You need time alone to think things through without him begging and pleading. The mental exhaustion comes in the weeks, months and years after when you piece things together. Was he talking to her during your birthday dinner? Was he seeing her during the holidays? What you thought was your reality can become surreal and questionable and I think that is where the brunt of the trauma resides, in the unknown. Ask yourself, do you really want to stay. Has he been more good to you than bad? Do believe he will not do this again. Will it make your relationship stronger?
The fact that you were blind sided leads me to believe that everything was going good and that you were happy. Know this, if you decide to stay, you are saying that although you are hurt, you are willing to put this affair past the both of you. Don’t let other women project their pain and experiences onto you. If you leave now, that is it, the years you invested into this man are done. He might learn his lesson and the worth of a good woman and be the perfect husband for someone else. Or, you can stay, work on your relationship, and move forward. Me personally, my husband is attentive, loving, , open, not secretive and adores me and any tiny bit of attention I give him. He also has borderline personality disorder (look that up) it’s a pain in the ass to live with. The things I deal with I’m sure no other woman will tolerate. So be gentle with yourself and whatever you decide to do. It is your life and there are many steps prior to divorce. If you are willing to uproot your kids and share custody , give those steps a try. Just my opinion. I’m sending you positive vibes and hoping for healing in your household. Good luck!
Ohhh bless you 
this has happened to a few people I know. Only you can make the decision 
but stay strong remember you’ve done nothing wrong 
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I stayed. Hes finally staying loyal but I have trust issues 4 yearslater. Don’t stay
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Some advice from a older lady… they are usually not sorry they cheated, only sorry they got caught. It will happen again. Go now and don’t waste your life, I wasted 17 years falling for the same. Not all men cheat! I have now been happily married for 23 years… without looking over my shoulder wondering if he’s telling the truth. Once a cheater, always a cheater
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Don’t waste your time staying… there will always be doubt there no matter what and he is only doing that because he got caught… had you not found out he’d still be doing it and he may even still be. You and your child deserve so much more!!
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If you have been together for 6 years, have a child together, and he’s cheating- this man is not your husband because he does not want you to be his wife. Move on to something better like he’s looking for. There’s a man out there who will love you more than the moon and the stars. Who will wife you up in a second and never glance at another lady again for all his days because to him, there is nothing better than you. You deserve exactly the kind of love your heart wants and needs, and a love like that would never do this to you. Let go of everything holding you back from that kind of epic love, including this “boyfriend”. You have your daughter and for that you can be grateful… if anything, show her she shouldn’t stay either.
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If hes gonna do it once hes gonna do it again. Once you tell him everythings okay and you forgive him he WILL take that as she forgave me once she will do it again
Leave!
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I don’t understand buying a house with someone you’re not married to. Most of the time its only in one name while the other person put the down payment in.
It’s not a smart legal move. Imo.
Yep for 25 years. I don’t recommend it.
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Nope don’t do it! You’ll never trust him in the things he does places he goes without you. It will be miserable trying to forgive him if you ever do. Your child doesn’t need that growing up to see parents going through all of the aftermath. I’m telling you from experience there is a man out there that will cherish you and your daughter and would never hurt you, I know because I found mine. In the beginning it hard hard and you’re going to feel pain whether you stay or not but you will heal. When this happen to me I couldn’t look at my ex let alone sleep in the same bed with him, we were married with 2 kids. My kids were 4 and a newborn. It’s not worth it he’s not worth the distress. Make sure you stay strong and don’t accept any of his shit going forward. If you choose to stay you must forgive and you must not bring up the situation over and over if you stay that is no good for anyone either I’ve seen couples try to stay and it’s just worse because one is hurt and doesn’t want to forgive. Really take time to think about it. Don’t leave right away make a plan get some money saved or sell the house first make him give you money for a couple of months and save it so you’ll have something to start with, there are a lot of routes you can take but stop and think of a plan don’t let him know if you are leaving him tell him you need time to think and start getting your ducks in a row. Whatever you decide to do just know either way will be hard! But one way you will heal and find a new better man the other way you will heal but resent this man for the rest of your life and may never trust him again.
Honey if you can’t forgive him then you should definitely move on with baby girl. You don’t need to have that on your mind.
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Read the book - The State of Affairs. Seek counseling.
I did and stayed it never stopped, don’t stay leave be happy life is to short
Once a cheater always a cheater…
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My sister-in-law cheated on my brother-in-law years ago and they stay together. They have no kids and they had a a lot of pressure from their church to stay married. He has always used it against her over the years and one way or another. Has no trust for her and I feel so sorry for her because I don’t think she is really happy. I think she just stayed out of obligation and pressure from her church.
I have stayed after multiple emotional affairs over the years. It was never physical but I did tell him to leave after the last one. Once he realized what he was giving up, he has since came clean about everything and taking the steps necessary to fix things. Had it been physical, I don’t know that we could move past it though.
Leave his bitch ass sobbing or not
Sadly, I did. i wasted 8 years of my life with a cheater. It destroyed me personally and emotionally. I’ve been divorced from him for 3 years now and I still haven’t recovered and I don’t know if I ever will. I don’t recommend it. People change and I agree, but if you allow him to disrespect you now and get away with it. He’ll always disrespect you. My advice. Run.
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In most situations I would say leave, I think the whole once a cheat always a cheat applies to most people but there will be a minority who are good people and majorly messed up for whatever reason. It depends if you feel you can move on past this and IF you want to. Do what you want to do regardless of what anyone else says, if you can’t leave or don’t want to leave that’s okay but you may find yourself regretting not leaving further down the line
Best to get out while you only have one baby wince a cheater always a cheater take it from a 70 year old woman
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I think it depends why they cheated and how willing both people are to work through it. You will always find it hard to trust him and he has to except that
I’m sure he didn’t see it coming either.
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That has to be a personal decision. And I feel that the decision should be based on all aspects of your relationship. My husband has cheated on me, but then we just threw all of the facts, opinions, and emotions on the table and worked everything out. We even enjoyed an open relationship for a while. (The book “Sex at Dawn” may help you understand a person’s desire for non-monogamy.) But every person has to feel loved, comfortable, and trusting in a relationship. If that’s not there, it won’t work.
If it’s a one time thing and your partner is truly sorry and they do everything in their power to show you that they truly love you and they truly regret it and are sorry then I think that can be worked on if both are willing, but if it’s cheating over and over then that’s a deal breaker. Just my opinion.
If you can find it in your heart to forgive then you absolutely should.
I have 3 kids with my ex. He never stopped cheating n now cheats on his wife. I wasted 20 yrs on him, thinking he’d change.
I stayed because I was pregnant, then I wasn’t, but he did it again so I stayed because he said he loved me and would never do it again, he did it again, I stayed AGAIN because I was pregnant. Then after another loss he cheated again and I choose to stay AGAIN because I loved his family and I loved him and I just needed to work on myself and he wouldn’t do it again but he did. This was the cycle I lived in for 5 years. I made excuse after excuse for him. I blamed myself so many times. It finally took my best friend slapping some sense into me to FINALLY admit to myself he would never change, he didn’t love me the way I deserved to be loved and I was worth so much more then all the empty promises, mental and physical abuse and all the lies!
I do believe in second chances but I also believe you should learn from your mistake. In reality you are the only one who can decide what is best for you. Just because you have a house and a family with him does not mean you HAVE to stay with him. Best of luck mama! 
The only way to be sure it won’t happen again is to leave. So there’s always that food for thought
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My partner did when I was pregnant with our first daughter we are now the happiest we have been and in a weird way brought us closer together because we both realised we wanted each other and nothing else xxx
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Multiple times. Leave now. Dont look back
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If staying is something your thinking about I would highly suggest seeking out a professional who has knowledge in this area and both you and your boyfriend should go together and separately. Some things are hard to work through on your own ya know? It could only help and give your boyfriend an opportunity to see how far and committed he really is.
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I have. We went to counseling (which he WAS against before it happened) but that was the only way to help our relationship and unless he WANTS to change and shows that he’s changing… he will never change. It takes time, patience and ALOT ALOT ALOT of forgiveness on your part. You can’t keep badgering him about it or keep bringing it up. We’re now married, and have our last child on the way. I still have my moments, but I have to remember, if he didn’t want to be with me, he would have left at that opportunity when he got caught.
Only you know what to do here, personally, i dont think i could as it would turn toxic, i know i would be constantly suspicious and questioning everything he says or does… once the trust has been broken, its VERY hard to to get that back… But, if you can see past it and are willing to work it out, i wish you all the best of luck, sorry you had to go through that xx
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Run for the hills girl.
I honestly believe the answer comes from how you found out, how many times it happened, and your capacity for forgiveness. If it was a one off and he came to you to tell you because he felt so guilty and you can forgive a one time weakness with the promise it will never happen again then stay. If you caught him, it was a multiple time or multiple other people thing, or you could never forgive him then leave. If he’s done it more than once or with more than one person, he’ll keep doing it.
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A boyfriend of 6 years and he cheated…if youre gonna stay, marry him, next time he does it keep your proof and leave with his stuff🙌 it would be naive of you to think it wont happen again.
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He’ll keep cheating. My ex/husband cheating on me continuously I finally had enough and kicked him out
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It depends on so much. Financial independence, children. Are you likely to end up with a similar kind of man because of the choices you tend to make … etc. You may end up making eachother so miserable after this that you find yourself in the same place 10 years down the line. If you’re very young, walk away. There’s still time to find a good man and be happy!
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Nope once you cheat it’s a huge BYE for me
In My 45 years of marriage I NEVER once cheated on my wife.
She knew every where I was at and mostly with who and had a Damn good idea what I was doing.
That’s not cheating.
I have only slept with 4 women in my entire life but I was married to 2 of them.
All the others were wide awake when I left them.
I left my husband afted several months of him accusing me of cheating when I caught him in bed with the other woman. I gave chance after chance to another over a ten year period who both of us would cheat on the other to turn it into an “open” relationship. Stupid me, I knew it would happen with that man…i just loved the ideal I had of him. I’m much happier with my SO who I know would never be unfaithful and I would never be to him either. There is so much to be said for loyalty. I’ve never worked through a relationship where we cheated. Maybe tried but never succeeded. Its harder when finances and children are involved. If you do chose to leave…the most important thing I have found is to remember the next relationship is not this one. And if you chose to stay, the forgiveness has got to be genuine and so does the apology from the other side
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If you choose to stay…those demons in your head can eat you alive thinking about it. Forgiving is one thing…forgetting will never happen. It’s a long journey in your head…but if you truly love him…stay…work it out. But in the end you are the only one that can make that choice.
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Honestly it’ll never be the same again. I would quietly and sensibly get legal advice and accept that you will split. Maybe not today or next year , but sometime. Just don’t make any huge decisions whilst it’s still so fresh and shocking. Your life is not a soap opera with all those silly dramatic scenes. You need time to take it all in and plan for you and your daughters security. Good luck. It’s a horrible situation to find yourself in but you WILL get over this. I promise. Your man however , will always be a cheating brstrd .
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I have,for 12yrs.I honestly didn’t want to let go.Being on my own scared me but I realized I wasted so much time being unhappy. Each to their own.I hope you take care of yourself,I know it’s easy to just give up sometimes.Do what you feel you need to.Wish you well
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Nope. Once the trust is gone what is the point in staying?
Nope! I don’t care if you just bought 5 houses together, he cheated on you and he didn’t give a shit about how that would affect you or your child…of course he cares now…I say only stay if you want to continue to put yourself through more heartbreak…because once that trust is broken there’s no going back.
He’s crying because he got caught. Yes, he probably feels bad, yes he probably cares about you. He damn sure doesn’t love you though, someone who can cheat on you doesn’t love you! Leave. Once a cheater, always a cheater.
Nope. I would leave in five seconds.
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They ALWAYS do it again. Some men just want to have their cake and eat it too.
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Honestly ur first mistake was being a gf after 6 years.
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Do NOT take him back. If he can’t talk to you when they are not happy it will be a reoccurring thing. It isn’t worth it t to take them back for the 3 months of ok.
Taking him back is your decision and your decision alone. But I definitely think you all should take some time apart. Give you some time to think.
I did. It is a lot of work and re building trust. We were/are married and I do not believe in divorce so I was willing to try may hardest before considering throwing in the towel. However he was honest with me in what happened, fact checked with the girl prior to asking him questions. And other than begging and pleading he did his very best to prove he is all in with me every day until I’ve been comfortable. He never threw it in my face and has always been understanding if I have doubts. He complied as a willing participant in my demands. And has always accepted fault. If he wouldn’t have made such a big effort I probably wouldn’t have stayed.
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I did stay and we stayed together for almost 50 yrs…
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Everyone’s different.
I tried with my sons dad, but he kept cheating and manipulated, used, and abused me.
I left, it was better for me. And hard to trust, but you get there.
Some people fuck up and are extremely sorry and truly mean it… and then some people fuck up and manipulate and continue to cheat until u had enough… then they move on to the next victim
One time cheating is one thing a whole relationship is another. My sister and her husband recovered after an affair but it took a lot of work from both sides to make it work. I hope the best for you in the future
My husband cheated on me I would never take him back once a cheater all ways a cheater
I personally believe that “once a cheater always a cheater” isn’t always necessarily true. I believe that one can cheat, regret it, and it never happen again. On the other hand some people are manipulative and sneaky. You just need to figure out which one your partner is and work from there, I’m sorry you’re going through this and I wish you the best of luck 
I stayed! And I’m glad I did. I worked things out with him. The first little bit I was horrible and would keep bringing things up and not trusting him. So one day I told myself if I wanted to be with him and I chose to stay I had to stop bringing up the past the past is the past, I need to forgive him and love him or I need to leave him and move on, because I couldn’t keep living in that place.
6 years later we are married and have a little girl, we just bought a house. And crazy as this sounds I work away in an pipeline camp for 20 days a month and he stays home and looks after our kid and works. Every one always wonders if I am worried about him cheating while im away, but I absolutely have no issues, he saw what he could have lost and I don’t think he would ever want to risk it again. And loose everything we have. And I’m in such a good place that I honestly think if he wants to fuck it up then oh well he will be the one missing out.
It’s not the worse thing to stay. Just gotta make sure you work on it cause if you don’t it will be hard on your relationship
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And don’t listen to the ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER shit… its the person not the act. So if you think he will never do it again that’s up to you guys to work out with help from counselling
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Not worth it trust has been broken and you’ll always wonder why you weren’t good enough, you’ll be paranoid and want to search his phone, make sure has actually working…it doesn’t work. Time heals you need to leave
Even if he did change and never cheated again, the trust isnt there anymore. Every time he leaves the house you’re going to be wondering where hes at and who hes with, even if hes at work. And thats going to take a big toll on your mental health, as well as your relationship. Sometimes love isnt enough and its going to hurt like crazy for a while if you choose to leave. In the end, looking at your child and knowing you did whats best for them is worth it. Good luck with whatever decision you might choose.
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I didn’t. We also have a child together but he had to leave. I knew I’d be questioning every little thing. And it would make both of us miserable which would just make our daughter miserable as well. It was best for everyone.
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Counseling will be a MUST…but only you can decide on your situation and if he will be able to gain your trust again. Praying for you all. 
If I found out for sure that he cheated we’d be done. I’m struggling with just suspecting that in the past he has but I don’t have any physical proof or confirmation from that person or him, and he denies so I’m just done trying.
My thought is if your daughter was in this situation and she asked you for advice, WHAT WOULD YOU TELL HER?
Best of Luck
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Try counseling first; separately and together. The trust is broken and can be rebuilt but, TBH, it’s an emotional roller coaster and it may go either way. I’d prepare for the worst, hope for the best. No matter what, know that THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. There is no excuse for cheating. If he had an issue, he should have came to you, not confided in others, much less, stray. Sending love and prayers your way.
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I did, literally when I was pregnant. It was the MOST stressful time of my life !
I would suggest getting counseling . Although, for the longest I blamed myself, and caused so much insecurity and lost my worth, along with trust. You can forgive them genuinely, but it’s never forgotten. There’s still days, where it crosses my mind, and it still hurts me. It’s one of those things where if you decide to stay, you need to be strong enough. You both will have to work through it together to see growth, change and consistency (That process alone was hard). But I believe that people can change.
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We stayed together.
I’m thankful.
But both of us changed fundamentally from it. I believe the whole " once a cheater always a cheater" mentality comes because those people never went through the necessary growth and development to change and better themselves from it.
Most teenagers steal shit. Doesn’t mean they grow up to be theives the rest of their lives? Why? Because they grew and changed.
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Kickem to the curb!!! Say bye Felicia!!! And never look back.
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This was my situation literally to a T
Just bought a house. 1 yr old daughter
I forgave and took him back (after about 2 weeks)
This was 3 years ago.
He hasn’t cheated again. But I promise the relationship will never be the same… he has severe trust issues. Constantly thinking im going to cheat on him “to get him back”
I have no interest in that. If I wanted to be with someone else I would simply go be with someone else. Im not a cheater.
Its been exhausting
HEADS UP
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He will do it again and again. It’s will only get worse. Take a deep breath and make the break.
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I have my bf has cheated 4 times in 8yrs. It’s hard and if you ever wanna talk I’m here.
I did with my first husband. He just got better at hiding it. After the third, I left. I would never ever recommend staying with a cheater. Better to waste 6 years than 60.
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Dont believe the once a cheater always a cheater I’ve been with my man for 3 and half years and he was with his ex gf for 2 and half or less and cheated on her. Has never once thought or even tried to cheat on me
It sounds like this wasn’t an overnight thing. Time to leave. He knew what he was doing.
I think if there are enough good reasons to stay than you shouldn’t leave over one bad reason. That being said- if you don’t think you can forgive, move through the healing and then let it go not become a detective anytime he’s not with you- then I think it’s ok to stay.
You cheat on me…BYE! I know my worth. I will never be disrespected that way. You let him back in and that just shows him what he can and can’t get away with. You feed a stray dog and he’s gonna come back. Not at my house!
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With no trust, I couldn’t stay. I’m not gonna always be trying to verify everything he says to me.
That’s just too much negative energy and stress for any relationship.
Yes. Stayed for 7 years and was absolutely miserable a majority of our relationship…but he left me a year ago for someone else and i am so thankful he did, because i am actually happy for once.
Yes. I stayed… he didn’t cheat again I just harbored so much anger from it that I went out and cheated. I knew it was wrong… there is so much more to our story. We finally split up and I’m happier for it.
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If thy do it once thy always do it again.
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Well. Do you think you can totally forgive him? You literally have to forgive and forget. And that’s easier said than done because you will have ptsd for a long time. And you will take that out on him.
Weigh the good and the bad. Which has the most??? That’s your answer. Pray about it.
Get to the true answer as to why he cheated, why he turned to another instead of you. If it was a one time thing, you might be able to forgive him. If it was multiple times, then he will most likely do it again.
If you stay, make him earn your trust back. Sleep in separate rooms. Make him realize he will lose his family if he cheats again.
Ex cheated on me, his second wife and his third wife enough said.
LEAVE. My husband was cheating on me for 6 years and had a baby in between our 2 babies and I never even knew until 2 years ago. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is leave. It will be hard, but it will get easier with time.
Did it once
He will do it again
A couple can find a way to get through this if they both really want to, but I think they definitely need counselling to find out what led up to it. People do make mistakes in life and can genuinely regret it, but each situation is different.
Sorry but you never do till it’s to late
Leave, you’re only gonna end up fighting about it all the time and that will take a huge toll on your child together. I’m not saying things CAN’T work after someone cheats buuut it’s better to not put your kids through that. Maybe in the future you may end up back together but go through some counseling beforehand and make sure your child is not in the middle.
I did and it almost destroyed me, also the cheating thing if you do it one you will do it again
I did and we were together 22 years after until he passed away from cancer. I forgave him but I never forgot we were never married
Id leave 
kick his sorry ass out