Men have rights to their bodies just as women.
It may hurt your feelings that he didn’t tell you, But perhaps he didn’t tell you because he knew you wouldn’t support his choice?
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It’s his body his choice. And also they are reversible if he ever changes his mind. You guys have 2 kids so I understand him not wanting more
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Its his body and his choice. He made the right decision for himself. If you want more kids you have to do that with someone else. That’s a choice you have to make for yourself.
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I mean my body my choice also is for men. If he doesn’t want anymore kids then he doesn’t want anymore kids. If you want more kids then he isn’t the man for you. 
Honestly he did the responsible thing seeing how he doesn’t want anymore children. He took control of his own reproductive health and made sure he couldn’t have more kids. It’s his body and his right to do that. Being in a relationship he should have had a conversation with you before hand letting you know that was his choice but what is done is done and you have to make a choice if it is a deal breaker for you or not and if it is the leave.
His body, his choice. You weren’t married. Sounds like this is not the one for you
Maybe he’s settled with one child and two step children I see that as a good thing he found the person to have his baby and is happy with 3 kids he should have told you but it is his body and just like us woman we have right to our own bodies thank god
You already have 3 children he has 1 of his own maybe he only wonted the 1, kids are expensive and hard work, his body his choice at the end of the day, same goes for us woman, maybe he should have spoke with you first but what done is done you either work though it or move on
I can’t answer that for you. He definitely betrayed your trust by not discussing this. But more children are never a guarantee. Stuff happens. I recommend couples therapy. Is the issue not being about to have more kids or is the issue that he didn’t discuss it. Did you two ever discuss family planning in your relationship?
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Well everyone is saying his body his choice, but he could at least had a conversation with you before acting on that choice. Honestly, I’m not sure if I would stay in that relationship being you want more children (that’s just me though)
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I don’t know. I see all these answers were saying it’s his body and his choice but I sort of disagree. I mean ultimately, yes, it is his decision but you were in a committed relationship with him and you have a child together. He should not have made that decision without at least discussing it with you If he makes a major decision like that behind your back. What else is he doing behind your back?
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Everyone saying his body his choice. Yes it is. But it affects both of your future. He should have told you but it’s done. I guess you decide if you want more kids then he’s not the one. Good luck
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I would respect his decision. He said he doesn’t want any more. And he knew he wouldn’t change his mind. He could have told you about it before hand, but would that have really made a difference? Either way you’re in the same boat. If he loves you and is a good man and father, feel blessed for what you already have 
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I get that you are hurt because He didn’t talk to you beforehand, you are young enough to have more babies, that’s true, but you will be able to give the ones you have more love, attention, things that money can provide. If he loves you, and if you can forgive him, be happy you have that man to work beside you in raising them. It isn’t easy being a single mom.
I guess he felt 3 kids were enough but he should have told you beforehand.
His body, his choice. 
You could stay and accept his choice or leave and look for baby daddy #3.
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Obviously it is his choice because it is his body. I would’ve like to been included on the decision, but ultimately he might’ve thought it would’ve caused a fight. I would definitely be upset that there wasn’t a discussion but in the end if he didn’t discuss it with you, he probably is not the one for you. He was smart in knowing he didn’t want more and explored his options.
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Well sounds like you have a big enough family 
why would you want any more ’ in this world the way it is 
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Would any of u be saying the same thing if it was reversed. You would all be like your body your choice. So his body his choice. U can’t have it both ways.
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Sorry what woman can get abortions and not tell anyone but a man can’t get a Vasectomy ??
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I think you and him need to have a good long conversation, vasectomies are reversible but I’m sure he was feeling strongly enough about getting one, he likely wouldn’t be okay to go through a reversal. Hopefully you guys can sort it out. Maybe adoption is an option ?
Where is 3 kids coming from? I don’t see where she said she has 3 kids…
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He definitely should have talked to you but if he doesn’t want more kids and you do that’s a conversation you both need to sit down and have a long talk about it.
I’m curious… how did he pull that off without you knowing? He would be sore and out of work for a few days afterwards.
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Well he should have spoken to you about it but if he doesn’t want more kids why would you want to have them? He can’t have anymore but you still can.
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If you want more kids and he doesn’t then that relationship isn’t gunna work unless u can say okay I can be done having kids. How old is he? Maybe he feels he’s too old to have a newborn. I’m 32 and I feel I’m too old to be having a newborn. But that’s my opinion I know women in their 40’s having kids.
It sounds like he’s made his decision he knows he doesn’t want anymore and it sounds like you either need to figure out if you can accept that and be done having kids or move on and have more with someone else
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Sounds like he is planning a future and already has 3 babies to help out through college and activities.
YES he should have talked to you but ultimately it is his choice.
Sorry your going through this. Now would be the time to decide if you are done having kids cause if not you two aren’t gonna work out 
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I think that you need to respect his decision and it’s too late to return back on time. However, I understand that you feel betrayed in the way that he didn’t talk to you about it. I would say just move on from it and just say that you are hurt as he didn’t talk with you about his decision. As this could have been clarified in the past. And he took the decision not to talk to you.
I would think raising the multiple kids you already have should be most important.
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His body his choice. He did the responsible thing because clearly he doesn’t want anymore children. I applaud him.
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Honestly he should of at least told you but try to understand his perspective. Has he mentioned he’s good with 3 kids? Sometimes we try to communicate with our partners & they don’t listen maybe he felt like he can’t handle more kids. & they are reversible if you guys change your mind
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I don’t understand how he could do with without you knowing… he would of been real sore and needed few days off work. It would of hurt him to sit, needed a donut to help. You sure he is not just lying to make you upset? If you already 3+ kids, I can understand why he got one if he did. Kids are not cheap. maybe he is overwhelmed by how much work it takes to raise a child.
His body his choice and doesn’t need your permission
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Where is everyone getting 3+ kids?? I know this is poorly written but I gather she has a daughter and a son. A discussion would’ve been nice. However it’s his body.
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Not married He has the right to not tell you
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I think he’s being responsible.
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Do u really need more than 3 kids? I can barely afford ONE.
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I agree with his body his choice and he knows he doesn’t want any more kids and did the responsibile thing. However as a couple this definitely should have been a long conversation before he took action. Making his choice he took away hers.
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How many kids do you want???
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Love the ones you have… he done what was right for him ( a hint would have been nice ! but maybe he didn’t want to be talked out of it ) … there is always foster/adoption in the long run , they will need the love you have to give xx
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Thats definitely something that should have been a whole discussion between the two of you.Especially since you are in a serious relationship…I can see where he felt his was making the right decision for him but he also made a permanent decision for you and that wasnt right…You need to decide if you are or arent done having kids and if not you have every right to end this relationship and find someone that includes you in life decisions.
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The roles switched with this one, huh? Call me sexist but if he wanted more kids and you didn’t, how would you feel? Men have as much say so in how many offspring they can have too. Maybe y’all can’t afford all those kids and he felt he could do a huge part in keeping it at a bare minimum. Maybe he seen how postpartum affected tou after birth and he felt he could lessen the worry for you. I would praise him. Y’all ain’t married so don’t be mad.
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He has every right to do it without your permission married or not imo 
a woman should have that choice whether married or not as well. Not wanting kids or more kids is a completely legitimate choice and honestly if you’re the kind of person who would guilt or try to change someone’s mind bcuz you want kids and they don’t 
you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all. And my guess is that’s exactly why he didn’t tell you, cuz you wouldve tried to guilt him into more.
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Sounds like you have enough kids. Respect his decision.
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Not married not your business
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It’s his body and his choice. He doesn’t want anymore kids, so he’s making sure he doesn’t have anymore. That’s the responsible thing to do. I guess you just have to decide whether or not that’s a deal breaker.
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His body his choice !
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So you are upset that your boyfriend made a choice about his own body?
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Seriously the answers to this post makes me go 
Cannot believe these answers come from mothers.
Put yourself in this mothers position, this is a serious discussion between two people in a relationship, not something you just go and do and not discuss.
Sounds like you have enough kids.
Sounds like he did you a favour.
How many kids do you want?
Do you really need more than 3? I can’t afford one. RUDE!!!
Y’all are some nasty ass people
The fact he did it without you knowing proves he doesn’t care about your opinion and if it was me I’d leave
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His body his choice! You have enough kids don’t you?
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Yes maybe he should have brought it up to you, but it’s his body his choice and if he doesn’t want any more why would you want to have more kids with someone who doesn’t want to have any more kids? It’s better that he did that, then have another kid that he didn’t want. You have 3 if you want more your gonna have to leave he clearly has made a choice.
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It doesn’t matter how old or how young you are, you have to be able to afford the children you already have before wanting to make more children. You also have to respect the choice he made and have a think from his perspective why he did it not just think about having more babies. You aren’t married, he’s a adult, it’s his body followed by a big decision but he really didn’t need your permission to do it.
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All the comments not married mind your own … just no like he is ur partner married or not yer together long enough that he should have came and told u what he was doing … weather it’s what u wanted or not he should have still told u imo… yer ment to be a team and I would struggle if my hubby done that with out a conversation first … he doesn’t want anymore children his happy with all 3 in yer blended family but at the same time I would b upset he didn’t come to me ither
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Yes, his body his choice but if she wants more kids, she should make the choice to find someone who will give her more kids. It’s ok that he doesn’t want anymore but neither of them should settle for what they don’t want just because the other does or doesn’t want anymore children
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It is definitely his choice to do that, but I also understand your being hurt with not talking out the decision together first. That feels like a thing I’d share with my partner, and I have said things to him like, “I think I want to get my tubes tied.” It’s my body, he doesn’t get to say no, but also in a relationship, you share big choices with each other. Are you hurt because you want more children and he doesn’t, because you didn’t get a vote, or just because you thought you had the kind of relationship where you shared big decisions and changes with one another? I would be hurt if this was done in secret, solely because it’s such a thing and I would feel like they were keeping secrets from me. And I don’t even want kids 
that’s something to talk about with one another. Is it because you DO want more kids? Then you need to decide if you have to go find a relationship to do that in. Or is it because you think you should’ve gotten a vote? That definitely requires some thinking on your part about why it feels like his body is your say.
I’m sorry you’re going through such a tough time! Good luck finding clarity
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There is no future., unless you want to be in a one sided relationship
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number one you guys are n married, so he does have the right to decide whether he wants anymore kids or not & he doesn’t. If you really want more kids, time to send this BF packing & find another one 
If you really love him, be happy
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no marriage yet no commitment having kids together is not the whole commitment he can still walk anytime. Let your conscience be your guide.
Break up with him. If you want more kids you won’t let it go and you will grow to resent him for making a decision that affects both of you without even considering having a conversation. Not for permission but so he understood where you stand. Unfortunately it seems like he doesn’t consider you someone important enough for his future to think about having a conversation with you.
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I completely agree with everyone that it’s his body his choice. I fully feel you have the right to be upset and hurt that he didn’t at least tell you. If my husband ever got a vasectomy with out telling me, I wouldn’t be hurt he had it done I would be more upset at the fact he couldn’t bother to tell me.
What I’m about to say am I in no way trying to compare the situations, just showing the point of sharing info.
November 2020 I had a miscarriage and decided with D&C. I informed my husband what choice I decided to go with. It was not to get his permission or have him tell me what to do, it was because it was a form of surgery and I would need help. He has always been supportive of me with anything, regardless of if he agreed or not but it was because he always supported my choice
good for him…you have enough…thank him…that’s what you should do.
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Yeah, I’m not going to criticize him for making that decision without “consulting” his girlfriend considering the fact that I made a similar choice at age 23 while 8 months pregnant in front of my (then) husband. If we as women don’t need to discuss things with our partners/spouse’s then why should men? He chose to not have any more children… accept it and move on. I married my (current) husband knowing he doesn’t want any biological children, he’s accepted my teenage children (his family hasn’t and won’t) as his own.
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You said “daughters”, which I gather (as long as it’s not a typo), you have at least three children or more. I’m going to assume that y’all live together, and if that’s true, then he accepts the girls as his and helps raise them all. Truthfully, by him getting it done, I see it as he felt as though he was going to be with you for the long haul and is more than comfortable with the size of the family he has now. Maybe he got it done behind your back because he knew you would put up a fight about it. Yes, it was a little messed up that he didn’t talk with you about it but at the same time, it is his body (his choice) and y’all aren’t married. If your want and need of more children is more important than the love you two have for each other and the family y’all have right now, then it may be best to part ways.
If I were in that position, I would be upset and I would be hurt but if the love between us was that strong and I was already comfortable with us and our life together as a family, I know I would get over it eventually and instead count my blessings. That’s just me though 
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He should of discussed it with you at least x
His body his choice. I see yall whine all the time about how some doctors advise against getting your tubes tied because of your husband wanting more kids, so why is it any different? Yes it might have been nice to discuss it before hand but in the end it is his choice and you can either respect it or leave and let him find someone better…
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Why does he need to tell you anything? Oh, he don’t. My body my choice don’t apply to only women. Not sorry.
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He knew he was done regardless of his relationship with you. It would be worse if you had pressured him into more kids when he was this certain.
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I see so many say it’s his choice yes it is but also he should have talked to her if he planed on making a feature with her. And why is it when a woman wants to get a hysterectomy and they have a partner why is it they have to have the okay from that partner but a man don’t need a okay from his partner for him to do the same thing a woman would be doing in a sense. I wanted more kids and so did my husband at a point in time but he did say if it didn’t happen by a certain time he wouldn’t want anymore cause we don’t wanna be late 30s to 40s rasing a baby when our youngest has 8 more years til they an adult and I see where he is coming from and which I agree and so if he wanted to be fixed it’d be okay with me but at least he talked to me before going and doing something major like that with out my knowledge. Communication is key to a good relationship and not hiding things.
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I agree it should have been talked out but in the end if he didn’t want more kids why force him into having more kids if it’s wrong for a man of force a woman into having more kids then it’s wrong for a woman to force a man into having more kids we need to quit with the double standards
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It’s hard enough with one child in this world today it sounds like you have at least three thats plenty to deal with in this day and age
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His body, his choice.
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He should have at least talked to you but that doesn’t change the fact that he had every right to do it. His body-His choice. No different then when we women say it.
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His body, his choice. I would be upset if my HUSBAND didn’t talk to me about it but that’s because we are married and should talk about everything. Not that I would have any weight in his decision. He would still be free to do what he chooses but I would just like to know his plans. If you want more kids then let him go and find someone that wants the same as you. You guys should have had this talk a long time ago when you were pregnant with your first
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What a lot of people are skipping over is that he hid something from you, that’s not okay in a relationship.
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My husband did the same . His ex was pregnant with their 3rd child and he already had an older child from another relationship. She would have wanted more be he didn’t . She eventually had two more when she remarried. Maybe it’s like what woman have been saying for years. Their body their choice .
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Ummm it’s super unhealthy that he didn’t tell you. But hehas the right not to want more. You have to decide if you want him or more kids more. Idk I’d be super hurt cuz its a life altering decision and he didn’t consult his partner in life? Talk to him and tell him how u feel.
Every person has the right to make the choice about what’s best for them or what they want. He has the right to get a vasectomy. You have the right if you want more children to disagree with his choice and leave so that some day you may find someone who wants the same things as you.
If my husband went and did that but didn’t atleast tell me his decision or what he wanted I’d be upset. Mostly because I’d hope he’d inform me of those things since he knows I do want more children some day. I wouldn’t try to change his mind if he didn’t. But it may be time for me to reevaluate our relationship if our wants for our lives were that different. For me having more children is something I’ve always wanted. He knew and agreed to that when we met but People are allowed to change their mind, things change in life constantly. You need to reevaluate the situation and decide what means more to you I think. Having more children, or keeping your currently family together and loving them.
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Leave. Find someone else that wants more kids.
It’s his choice at the end of the day. Yeah maybe it should’ve been discussed, but for an individual that decision isn’t made over night. I got my tubes tied. I told my long time bf, it wasn’t up for discussion.
It’s his choice. I think he should have talked to you. But, y’all are not married so he probably thought he didn’t have to talk to you. I’d pray about it and if more children you want then you also have a choice to stay or leave.
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For him to do that I wouldn’t trust him
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His body, his choice.
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so if a husband/boyfriend wanted more kids and just say she was pregnant and got an abortion then told him after the fact people would say her body her choice WELL same applies to him
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Kinda fucked he didnt talk to you about it
You are blessed. Try to be happy and raise your children to the best of your ability.
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His choice but he should of talk to you
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Once you loose trust , dont understand why he didnt tell you , JUST SAY DONT WONT ANYMORE CHILDREN … not behind your back … HOPE IT ALL WORKS OUT … TAKE CARE …
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I would see a psychiatrist,…NOT Fakebook.
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That’s such a personal decision. Really nice of the guy to let you in on making it. Guess you have to decide how important more kids are to you. I would bd deciding if I wanted to be with someone who would do a thing like that behind my back. Might be time to put on your walking shoes.
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Move on if you not ready to just have 2 kids.
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It’s bad that he didn’t tell you he wanted to do it but at the same time you have 3 kids now. Kids are expensive and living is expensive. He has a say in whether he wants anymore children added to your family if 5.
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You and he are ot married. He has no obligation to tell you. I wold expect he plans on cheating sarely.
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In 2001, after I have been in abusive relationship/marriage with my ex. He purposely got me pregnant with my second child and I was taking birth control pills but found out he threw my bc and switch it to something else. I went to dr to get more birth control and it brought the last pack with the name of the pills. Dr told me this isn’t really birth control. I’m sorry you are pregnant again I was literally pissed and so angry with him. He did it behind my back and basically I called it raped. He refused to let me see dr for my second pregnancy he want me to do home birth. He trapped me there I finally got hold of my mom. Me and my first child move so I can see the dr to how he is growing and stuff. First check up was that I was 7 month and having a boy with very low rating of heart beating his life was threatening. My dr asked me why??? I explained to him all of this happened I begged him to find a way to prevent him to get me pregnant so he tied my tubes during c section at age 21 without my ex knowing. He didn’t know I tied my tubes til 3 years later asked me why I can’t get pregnant I said I don’t know something wrong with my uterus or ovaries been mess up. Later he punched me in the face and beat the shit out of me said you tied the tubes without my permission. I said you got me pregnant without my permission so that is the end. I divorced him and got the kids full custody plus restraining orders against for life
I say bad on him for not saying anything. It’s his body and he makes the decisions about it but if that decision affects long term decisions with a couple like having kids then it needs to be brought up even if his mind is set. Hiding it was the messed up part. He should have told you so you could decide if you wanted to stay or if having more kids was important you could have moved on. It sounds like he purposely hid that information because he knew you wouldn’t like it or stay so he took away your ability to make your own decision about your future. 
Being open and honest is key to a long lasting relationship.
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He is making sure he dosent get anyone else pregnant . You are not factoring into his decision.
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he didn’t feel safe telling you in my opinion that’s a red flag on your part
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He should have had a discussion with you about it first, but that’s his decision if he doesn’t want more kids. You’ll have to decide if possible future biological kids is more important than what you already have.
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