How am I supposed to act with teen friends in the house?

When teenagers hang out . With other teenagers..at one of their houses

What’s the standard …what do you do as a parent? Do you let them be? Or… do you do what?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How am I supposed to act with teen friends in the house?

Pay attention and be present. Nobody in the bedrooms!!! Cardinal rule. Pop in and out

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Set some ground rules and don’t hover but definitely check in. They will all if they need anything.

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friends? leave them be. Significant others no bedrooms

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Leave them alone? Why would you be all in their business??

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Set ground rules then give your child you trust some privacy😊 they’re friends don’t make more unless you’re told by them it’s more. It just damages the relationship when you assume things are being said or done

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Let them be, check in on them without warning maybe once an hour or so… hovering will only cause them to go hang out somewhere else. Let them know you’re there without being persistent in “annoying” them

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Do embarrassing stuff, offer snacks, be present. No closed doors.

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Let them be but check in on them often and don’t hesitate to bring them snacks lol

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Any kid that’s with me I treat like my kid. So if I have a specific rule at my home about something they all are expected to follow it. For instance I took my kids camping plus 2 extras. My kids dont trounce around in skimpy bathing suits. Cover yourself till you get in the pool. So the teenage girl was informed that’s not appropriate and was told put on clothes till we reach the pool.

I take my kids and the extras places. So I’m with them. At home I check in frequently. The kids love and respect me so I’m mom to all of em. Just got to let them feel comfortable and be an ear if they need it.

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My sons always had friends over my husband love to cook for them they even spent the night when we got up we were stepping over bodies they were very respectful and did not act like animals . my husband cook breakfast for them then they went home

We won’t be allowing ours at other people’s places but will allow friends here… but they will have to hang out in the yard, patio or in a living room and only if one of us is home…
No one in bed rooms either…

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I don’t have teens but definitely make sure they are not up to no good other than that i would leave them be

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I just do whatever I’d be doing if there friends weren’t there. I’m not sure what else there is to do

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Introduce yourself. Let your presence be known. If you have rules lay them out … then let them be.

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No closed doors is my rule but mine are not quiet teenagers yet. I walk in often to see what’s going on but for some reason all the kids prefer to hang here and I’m completely fine with that!

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No closed doors in mixed company is the biggest. And please don’t clear out my fridge lol

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I treat them like my own offer drink food make sure theyr OK give them space follow house rules

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I was always “ present”. All the kids knew our home was their home. If they was food or a drink they wanted, they were always allowed. I had rules that were to be followed or there would be consequences. The kids respected me for that and I was always the “ second mom”. As long as there was respect I wasn’t too in their faces. When kids see they can be themselves in a safe happy environment they typically know how to act.

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Honestly…i would be the buddy and be in there with them every now and then seeing what they were doing or watching to see if i wanted to watch it. Lol. Open doors and i would offer to get them pizzas or snacks and they could ride with or stay and wait until i got back for their stuff…Whatever drinks,snacks,candies…i would get it. Even bought a video game they all agreed wanted to play on my PS4 and they took turns playing it while ones not playing watched or played on phones. Also let them play music on my radio and play soda pong on folding table. Lol. Anything safe and legal i could do for them. If they wanted to go to water park…needed to have admission and food money and i would drive as long as we could all fit in the truck with me and my two kids…Can be the cool parent without buying alcohol or anything illegal or allowing bad behavior. Keep them busy any way can so not running the roads…Board or video games,plenty of food and drinks,etc…Be in and out checking on them without being too annoying…

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Remind your child that rules before they get there, leave them alone, but check in every once in awhile. Food is always a welcome, so offer snacks or ask if they want anything from the store.

I often hung out with my daughter and her friends. Sometimes she would go in her bedroom and her friends would stay and hang with me lol I guess I’m sorta the cool mom :thinking: And I always treat their friends how I would treat my own kids.

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No closed doors, I pick up snacks and drinks.

Give them their space but check in a couple times to see if they need anything. Make sure your kids have some set rules in place beforehand.

My daughter has friends over constantly in and out. They can hang out in her room but a lot of the time they come and hang out in the living room with me, play with my 2 year old and even my 8 year old. I keep the snacks stocked up and they know the only time they aren’t welcome is if the door is locked. There are too many kids (including teenagers) that don’t have what they need at home, whether that be attention, love, food, etc. Her friends have come to me with so much and I’m thankful they do.

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Snacks! Talk to them. Make them feel welcome, but set boundaries. No closed doors. They have to be gone by a certain time. Make an effort to know their names, where they live and their parents.

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We always let my son’s friends over male and female and they all would spend the night and pile up in the living room we would always watch movies all night

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Go about business as usual. Make sure everyone knows your rules, and where to find you if they need something. Let them know what is ok to eat and drink. Check in casually every so often, even if you just walk by and glance. It’s not hard as long as they’re the easy teens. It’s the sneaky ones you have to look out for. You won’t know what kind of teens you have for a few hang outs though, so just sit back and observe. Get to know them, but don’t monopolize their time with your kid.

No doors shut when company is in your room,if that’s allowed.

Lmfao. I make snacks and make sure the fridge is stocked and then go tf away. I trust my kids to use their brains and let me know if they need anything.

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I was the kid that was the “hanger outer”. I knew the rules. I didn’t break them….sometimes they’d tell me it was dinnertime and I could partake, or go home til dinner was over. I avoided that time because I felt I’d be imposing. The parents treated me the same as their own kid, and if I got out of line, they let me have it

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Throw snacks at them and run away

Except when my oldest is doing makeup with friends. Then they want the cool makeup artist mom.

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I loved when they would hang at my house, that way I knew where my kids were and that they were not out getting in trouble. In a blink of an eye they will be gone and your house will be quiet.

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I don’t care what you do but everyone is treated like my child. Half the time their friends are left questioning me and hanging out even my 9 year old sons friends lol

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Usually let them be. Unless they’re destroying something or doing something they aren’t supposed to. I got ears :ear: lol

My parents just let us do our thing, never really checked in on us or anything… but we didn’t have wifi cell phones or computers in our room “back then” lol

This is the time to perfect yodeling skills and playing the accordion. Lol. Just kidding. I let them know what snacks we have and let them be feral in a different part of the house that they choose.

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Honestly I have a 11 year old… I do what I normally do clean, watch movies with them, something I always do… i make every meal and they are welcome to anything in the fridge up to a hour before each meal. If they are ind a room I pop in frequently but do it quietly… we are also trying to raise the girls that there is nothing they can tell us that will make us not love them. And as a result their friends also feel the comfort of just being able to relax without judgment within reason

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If your close with your kids then them being in a room by themselves shouldn’t be a problem. I got to know all my kids friends so they all call me mom too. Sometimes my kids will tell me stuff I don’t want to know lol they want snacks they come get them.

Make snacks so you can casually pop in without being a weirdo lol

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Let them be!
You know where they are and that they are safe. For their sake let them be…

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Be nice to them, but firm with your rules. Unless you want to be the cool mom.

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I leave them be.

Everyone is made aware of the rules of the house and that I don’t care what they are allowed to do in their homes, this is MY home. I’ve had some unhappy parents but… yea no one has to be here it’s a choice so if they don’t like the house rules they don’t have to come! Stuff like-
Phones up at 10, no closed doors with opposite gender in the room, no means no the first time, clean up after yourself, use manners… nothing wild. Pretty basic stuff. But I know some of my daughter’s friends are allowed to talk back and throw attitude with their parents so I make sure early on it’s not tolerated here. Throw attitude and the door is next :grin:

Kids respect it and know, from experience, if a kid breaks a house rule they aren’t welcome back.

Kids like it here because my rules are clear and otherwise I let them have their freedom and be kids.

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My house was the hang out house for the 15-20 years my oldest being 32 my youngest 19 stay in the shadows and lock up all the food you wanna have for later (especially with boys hanging out) and just listen for something they shouldn’t be doing and walk in the room looking for something or ask a stupid question every now and then so they know you’re around but otherwise depending on the ages I’d just let them be :woman_shrugging:t3:

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I treat all children in my home as my own children; I have the same rules for respect, cleaning up oneself, and all else. I also expected my children to be respectful, polite and follow the house rules at their friends house too. My family/friends “parent” child my like theirs too. If he acts up - they can correct him as needed.

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Make sure you and the other parent are on the same page with parenting rules I’m close to the parents my kids are friends with… I expect honesty my home is faith based but I don’t push it just watch you language

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Hide snacks you don’t want eaten in one day. Lol. Also, break out your scene gear if you were emo/scene back in the day. Should fit right in. Lol

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Play Teenagers by MCR

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Some of these comments are nuts. I knew a girl who got pregnant at 14 on the couch with her mother in the room. Y’all think open doors will work though :joy::joy::joy::joy:

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I just let them be. They all called me mama.

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my oldest is 10 her good friend is 12 or 13 I just in and check in now and them

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My mom used to pop in randomly and look at us like :eyes: and then walk out lol

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Let them hang out, and do their own thing. But also keep an eye on them as well :slight_smile: offer some pizza bites, or whatever fruits and beverages they like. They’re fine :blush:

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Just let them have fun. Its better they hang out at your home than in the street. I would often wake up and see my sons mates all asleep in the lounge.

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I had up to 5 girls at my house they hung out in the basement. I still talk to all of them

My mom would hang out with me and my friends growing up and would talk about whatever we were talking about lol

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I let my kids know in advance they need to remember house rules and I let the kids that come know basic house rules. I check in on them and see how things are going but for the most part let them be

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Leave them alone (depending on the friends… I’ll hang out for a bit) but if boys are over the door STAYS OPEN in my house.

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I let them be. I check on them here and there. If you don’t want to be obvious offer a snack or a beverage. Usually they are loud enough that I can hear what is going on anyways.

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Sit each one down when they come over for the first time . Tell them your rules and let them know if they brake any rule at anytime they are not welcome back. You have to back up what you say. At my house the rules were no drinking, smoking, drugs, leaving my property, I would have as many as 8 to 10 teenage at my house every weekend. It was so nice when they got to be 17 years old and I knew just were my son and his friends were . Right at my house .I never got on them for staying up all night or the crazy project they got into and sometime I would help them . But most of the time I gave them there space . I would cook 3 meals a day . Man I miss those days. And it is nice when every once in awhile awile I get a call from one of them just to see how I am doing .

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I rather have them all at my house then somewhere else doing something I don’t know about. I have kids at my house all the time they all call me mom and are good kids even few stayed for awhile cause having problems at home and they call mine safe house idk. My kids are 14 and 16 now but ive always had them here doing there own thing.

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Well you make small talk get to know them
Offer them food and drinks build relationships
Do not allow them to
Have sex (but know chances are they will)
Drink
Do drugs

Wow parenting is hard if you have to come on the internet

Let them be but give them snacks.

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Give them food…drinks…and yell at them to being their dishes back into kitchen…

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I alternate between walking around the house and randomly squawking like a giant territorial bird and ask if they want to play a game :rofl: or if theyre hungry and leaving them alone.

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Leave them be. Nothing is wrong with teens hanging out.

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I let them be for the most part but let them know you aren’t far away

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Do what you feel best. Make meals or don’t but mostly let them hang as long as they’re being respectful and all that.

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I’d let them be for the most part. Check in every now and then. Unless you have valid reason to be concerned. Eg. Sex, drugs, alcohol.

I act as I normally would - in my own home… :woman_shrugging:t3:

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We use to 3 to 10 kids in our home every day and Night. We played cards, I made dinner, we watched movies they brought mattresses out into the living room and crushed at night. We’re having co-ed sleepovers before it was a thing…BUT they all knew momma was a light sleeper when she slept. Never knew when I was gonna pop up of the bedroom lol But honestly, they were all pretty good kids.

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It’s your house, you do whatever you want to do.

You mind your business lol

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I feed them and bug them about making a mess. I joke around and make fun of my kids a little because their friends seem to laugh at my jokes. I ask them about a hat, shoes or something about school or their sibling and then I let them be. Engage.

As a child and teen I didn’t have a lot of adults in my life I could trust and I’m thankful for the parents of friends who really took the time to stop and pay attention to me. Even if it was only for a few minutes. It was nice to know someone cared enough to ask… no one else asked me.

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Only when boys are here. Luckily for me my 13yr old doesn’t like boys. I’m 99% sure she’s gay and she’s said she is but 13. Anywhoo when my 16yr old niece has her bestie here they stick to themselves or ask to go to the park. They’re good kids…but I’m waiting for something. Teens you know.

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Chill and go with the flow let them be :joy: unless they start being disrespectful thats when you throw them out and if they keep going that’s when you knock them out :joy::rofl::grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes:

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You “lurk” :rofl::rofl:
Every so often, you pop in with lots of snacks, drinks & jokes :wink: suggest watching movies or playing cards, board games, ect.
Just keep eyes & ears open at all times. Don’t be overbearing, but dont hide in your room like they run the house.
Take a slight interest in each one. Call them by their name, ask about parents, school activities, boyfriend’s/girlfriends.
Just let them know you are “supervising” but not “babysitting”.

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Let them have fun but keep ear open and eyes peeking ask how there day is going until your child say the mom word your embarrassing me now go lol

Thank you for being a loving, considerate and involved parent❤️

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Everyone is saying leave them be… How can I make them leave me be​:rofl::rofl: they all follow me and sit around at the kitchen bench, on the couch everywhere I am they are all they want to do is sit and chit chat… haha

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You stand outside the door, with your ear on the door. :woman_facepalming:t4: leave them be, annoying ass lol

As long as they are behaving and not doing anything they shouldn’t then I would leave them alone.

So hilarious this was me a year or two ago. My sons had friends over, I have food and refreshments, they had their room n lounge for movie n gaming n we also went pool, I hung out in my room with my tv n just checked in chatted n goofed n when friends left I got scolded for not being out there getting to know their friends. Like what :flushed::flushed::flushed::roll_eyes:

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Let them hang out but still keep your rules the same.

Let them be but check in on them from time to time. When you do check in be very observant for smells , things partially shoved under the bed or pillows.

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Let um be as long as they are being respectful not distractive I rather them in my home then in the streets. Just make sure you cook a big meal and plenty of snacks n drinks

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Doors OPEN!!! My 15 year old sister and baby nephew can attest to this :woozy_face:

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Find a Slang teen phrase and ask then to explain how to use it. That will break the ice, offer them food, then leave them alone.

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Don’t be like me. They came in with back packs and I was like ‘oh how nice. Are you all going to study?’ I found out later their back packs were full of beer!!! No joke.

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Leave them alone, no need to hover over them

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Let them be check every so often

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How do you normally act around your kids? Lol

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Cook for them, chat so you stay in the loop

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Relish in the fact that you are “that house”. I am a mama of 9. Oldest is 28. 4 still home I have always been “that house” and I have a lot of extra kids who call me mom lol

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My mom used to hang out with me and my friends when we were teenagers and we really didn’t care. She would also leave us alone but would stay in ear shot at all times and no boys allowed upstairs but they were more than welcome in our house

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:joy: what it made me think of.

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No helicopter parenting. Just check in from time to time.

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Bring snacks and make sure there is juice for the kids. Leave them. If they want you, they will find you. You are not expected to entertain them.

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Only thing I have to say… never trust a teen!

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