Mommas, I need advice, my partner and I are having a baby! However, we both have kids from previous relationships. How did you guys address your new babies with your other children’s parents? I’m nervous for resentment or for my stepdaughter’s mother to try and keep her from her dad because I got pregnant. (She still has hope they will get back together.) how do I address the new baby and also let them know that just because there’s a new baby that our other children are still priorities? Did you guys ever have any issues or conflicts?
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Maybe that’s a conversation for either him or the both of you to have with her. I definitely wouldn’t disclude him though.
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Why do you want everyone in your business? If she has hope they’re getting back together than sorry sister he’s entertaining that.
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Is it really her business? NO
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I didn’t. She stalked me all the time and found out herself. It isnt even her business so why care what she has to say?
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Break it to them for what?? Not their business honestly.
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It’s none of her business until your baby is born and even when your baby is born it’s still not her business as long as he is good to his kids and you include them and treat them like your own it’s really not her concern your child is your child just because your child will be her child sibling does not mean she needs to be involved in any way you didn’t marry her or get in a relationship with her.
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It’s not her business her priority and job is to take care of her kids not worry about your life and a new baby
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Lord I’m going through this now, my mans ex is PISSED and is even telling him to take the baby from me and come back to her… she’s bat shit crazy. Ima pray for you because this bitter baby mom stuff SUCKS… I’m due in 10 days and I’m just praying things calm down once baby is here!
I didn’t bother to tell my Ex. I think my boys told them. Maybe when you need maternity clothes ?
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I wouldn’t tell them. It has nothing to do with them. Why should they be involved in your relationship.
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Nobody needs to be told. Time and the appearance of a baby can inform them. If she thinks she can get him back, he made her believe it.
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Why do you feel the need to tell her?! It’s none of her business and she will find out when you start showing if you have interaction with her or when the baby is born.
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I wouldn’t even say anything. Just go about your business like it’s another day.
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No their business. They’ll eventually find out through the kids🤷🏼♀️
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Idk how people willingly get into such a stressful and dramatic relationship. 
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Just deal with it. We surprised our other girls, one is mom one is his, and let his daughter tell her mom. And my daughter tell her dad if they wanted
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I was stalked and she found out on her own. She didnt like it so things are not good there. But we are on baby #2 now. Havent heard from her about it so whatever I guess.
Do it together and just tell her y’all are expecting. Don’t make a big fuss with her and I wouldn’t go into detail about how it won’t affect anything. Just keep it polite and simple. Actions once the baby gets here will speak louder than any words.
Also, he needs to put his foot down and let her know they are not getting back together. He can be polite and tell her, he will always care to the extent of them having a child together, but that’s it. 
good luck momma!
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Why would you tell them? It’s not there business
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I never told my ex wasnt his business and then his gf had my daughter tell me that they are having a baby and got mad because I said that was good for them and congrats with a smile ,she wanted the opposite reaction and has since banned my ex from communicating with me soooo…I say do as you feel and just accept whatever answer as an answer nothing to hold onto at the end of the day it’s about y’all and y’alls happiness
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I didn’t even care what she thought TBH sounds harsh I know. It’s not her business as long as he continues to be a good dad and you a good stepmum there should be no resentment or jealously.
I new baby should also push them thoughs that they are getting back together away. Clearly not happening xx
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I’m someone who is in this situation. My ex and his new wife is having a new baby. They didn’t tell me nor do I think it is any of my business. But it would of been nice to know because when my kids came back from the weekend visitation they act like they would nervous and I knew they didn’t want to say anything. So I finally call and ask what was going on the kids and why are they acting differently. So my advice do what best for kids. The kids might appreciate if you guys show you can communicate. It will affect the kids.
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I wouldn’t even say anything. They’ll find out eventually 
it’s not like it’s telling family or someone special
I think it’s your partner job to tell his ex and yours to tell your ex.
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I wouldn’t say anything because it’s not their business 
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I just text and said just to let you know “name” is going to be a big brother. That’s it haha
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I’m gonna go against what half of these people are saying. I think effective communication is important. The child needs a support system and everyone to be in the know. Just because she has hopes that they’ll get back together doesn’t mean he’s feeding it. It just means well…maybe he was her great love and she’s having a hard time getting past it. I would say sit down with the ex and the child and explain the changes that are coming and how your focus on the existing child(ren) will be unchanged.
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You address your ex, he addresses his ex.
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We didn’t tell my husbands ex, my bonus sons did, we kept them super involved, then she freaked out on him and told him hes a piss poor dad and that she can’t trust him and to get a dna test. It totally depends on the person.
He should text her and say that she shouldn’t hear it from anyone else that you are excepting a baby together
I wouldnt tell her anything its not her business i dint tell my ex husband he saw it himself lol
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Lol why would you even have to say anything at all. That’s not something to worry about it’s not their business at all.
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Didn’t even tell my own ex he just kinda noticed after a few months lol with the kids just tell them the good news there going to be big siblings and let them tell their mum, she doesn’t need to be informed of your pregnancy by you its nothing to do with her
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Invite them to the baby shower 
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Not her business …nor your place to tell her.
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Personally I would just tell her “We just wanted to inform you before we told the kids we are expecting. We know they may have mixed emotions about this so we wanted you to be aware of the situation so we can openly address their feelings as they occure as a co-parenting unit”
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My husband’s ex told him to stop making babies after she found out we’re on our baby no. 2. I didn’t care and just gave birth to our 3rd and im the first in the family to give them a girl!lol! She was really pissed. 
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None of her business and it won’t change anything for the other kids her reaction is her own business don’t see why it should be a concern sorry!!
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All I can say is good luck but remember it’s not about them it’s about you guys. The more you involve them the more they will think they can control and turn their child and his family against you as she’s first baby mama hahahaah “Experience”
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My kids told me. But I also didn’t make it a big deal or think he should’ve told me either. And the day after gave birth, I took our boys to the hospital to meet their little sister
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Why would their still be “hope”?
They’re still banging.
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Not necessary to tell them at all. We told my step daughter right before announcing it on Facebook and the rest of our family/friends at about 8-9 weeks. She was 5 at the time and excited so she told her mom and that’s how she found out. You don’t owe it to an ex! They’ll find out
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I’m so glad that me and my ex have an open communication relationship. We talk all the time so it wouldn’t be like a secret He would probably tell me to make sure i go to all my appointments and to take care of myself as he respects me being the mother to our children as well as i respect him being their father. Not sure when communication with other adults became difficult
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I’m always supportive of co-parenting, and communication. To have a successful co-parenting relationship communication is a must. First you should tell the children, and celebrate like a family. And when pick up happens you and your SO address the ex together explaining that you guys are having a baby, but you want to clear up any worries the older children will be left out. It’s also super important that you keep the older kids involved, especially since they aren’t in the home full time. If the ex still has hopes of them fixing things then HE needs to clear that up, not you. It could go either way, but if she attempts to keep the child away from you guys there are legal repercussions. You’re a blended family. But if she has hopes of fixing things it could be a struggle. It was for us with my oldest daughters father. He isn’t actively involved and still threw a fit, and didn’t talk to his daughter for a year. It really just depends on the person. All you can do is be upfront, involve the kids, and enjoy your time has a family. Best of luck mama!
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I think it’s a great start that you guys are respectful and mature enough to consider other people and feelings involved. And I surely hope that communication honesty and respect continues to improve . That will be beneficial and nurturing to all involved . All you can do is try your best !!! Good luck to everyone.
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Ok so here is my perspective . As a mother with 3 different fathers . Which I had long periods between . Anyway we are all supportive of one another . I am supportive of my oldest child’s step mom and dad . Those kids are my sons brothers and sisters . There important to him so there important to me . Not that the need to tell me anything . But I am about to have a baby and they offered to take my son and my other daughter Wich is not there’s on a play date . Also my daughters father when I give birth in may will keep her that month and send me child support even tho he has her cause I’ll have a new born and a c-section. He just won’t pay the month before or maybe after depending on how that works . The last 2 are with the same person. And all I got to say is your all a team with your children involved . The reality is mom may get jealous and may whisper things in the kids ear . It could happen. But reality is if the child is semi jealous on her own that’s so normal . But you work with her and spend time with her and let her dad and her go off and do stuff alone as well . Been there done that. But your all a team . That’s they way everyone should try and co-parent . What affects one of there kids affects all there kids and there should be healthy communication between you all .
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I told my ex, he told his ex
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When the baby bump is noticeable, show it off … let the surprise come naturally and the conversation between all parties will come naturally … Good luck hopefully it’s easier than your thinking it will be
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You don’t need to 
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He should tell her. If that’s even needed. Why would you guys need to tell her? Just live your lives and be happy.
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Um, well when I made the announcement, they asked how the surgery went for my gallbladder removal surgery… I told them it was rescheduled for 8 weeks because then it was safer for the baby that I had just found out I was pregnant with… Just go for it. 
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Ummm nothing, its not her business!! You guys are married…not you 3
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We had my bonus son on the weekend, and then when we dropped him off at his moms, we just told her we are pregnant. There’s no much they can really do
Who gives a F what she thinks.
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Why would you have to tell them?
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Ummmmm why is it either ex’s business, people are so weird. Kids or no kids these people aren’t a priority nor is it their business as to what happens in your married life.
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I did tell my Ex wasn’t really there direct business, the kids new and if the kids mentioned it to said Ex then that’s that or when they see that I started showing they took a hint I don’t see why you would have to let them know your actually pregnant.
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It’s none of her business and you don’t need her approval or anything. Tell all the kids and if she tries to make something of it ignore her. Neither you nor your husband have to answer to her. She will try to turn the kids against you 2 but just include them in things having to do with the baby. Tell them how excited you both are that the baby will have them as siblings etc…
I have a feeling a lot of these girls don’t play well with others . If your not prepared to be a real women and take your role as a member of the blended family seriously . Then don’t get involved with a man who has kids already because no matter how you feel those mothers are just as important as those step mothers . It goes both ways .
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My ex has always been supportive. He’s an active roll in both of their lives and when I have my daughter, I’m sure he’ll be an active roll in her life too. We’re adults who make great co parents/friends. I’d just have him be straight forward with her. Honestly is always best.
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Nothing it’s none of her business. Kids will most likely say something about
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You don’t address anyone? They are ex’s. You just talk to the kids
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Well considering co parenting has resulted in me and her becoming extremely good friends she was 1 of the first people I told and she was first to the hospital to see me when I had our son she even watches our son during the week for us while we work
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Is it any of their business?? At some point it will be obvious in your looks that you’re pregnant, or your children will tell them. I don’t think it’s something that needs to be a discussion at this point.
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Thank you for your advice and comments, I will definitely take into account about how all you feel. I just want everyone to be involved. I don’t want my stepchild to think I have bad blood with her mom. I just want to be able to co-parent and be excited about the kids we do share together without there being emotional drama or something. I want to involve the other parents because I obviously will need help with the other children while in the hospital and when we come home. I want my kids to know they can count on both parties to pull through for them, even through the disagreements. I’ve always tried to personally keep a really healthy co-parenting relationship with both parents because I want my kids to know I’m always willing to be there, always willing to try to compromise. For the sake of my kids I just try to have a blended family as easily as I can. Don’t want her mom to look at me and her dad having the baby as a bad thing. Want her to feel like he’s gonna love both kids equally and they all matter. Some parents worry about a new baby being brought into the picture, some don’t. Just don’t want to leave unanswered questions. Thanks for the help. Xoxo
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Do what you need to do honestly. She will feel how she feels and she’ll get over it. When I started a relationship with my partner his sons mother started giving him a hard time. She got pregnant and so did I a month or so later in our respective relationships. Tensions kept rising while we were both expecting but thankfully were all in a really good place right now and I’m so thankful. It’s such a beautiful stress free environment for all of us and I hope it continues. The point is that sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do whatever you can to combat the situation when it arises but don’t make yourself sick over it before it’s even happened. Everything will fall into place
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I was in the same situation - my fiancé and I each told our former partners as it pertains to our current children and our living situation.
I feel like it should come from your husband. My fiancé met up with his ex at the bus stop for my step son and told her. During some signing of papers I casually mentioned it to my ex.
No issues, they both congratulated us and that was that. The other parent cannot keep a child as leverage so it wasn’t a concern.
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Have the doctors office call him. true story. They still had his number under me… he knew when he got a phone call for a reminder appointment.
(He cheated on me with my best friend and got her pregnant)… so they had that blow to deal with. (Yes my kids know why we divorced and yes they were young. But thats off topic) my kids were 10 and 8 when I had their sister in 2019. I just told them when I was taking them to school one am. Idr words for words.
You don’t have to inform the ex, it’s none of their business. Just let the kids now that they’re gonna have a baby sibling.
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You don’t, it’s none of her business
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Nothing to do with them
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My son ended up spilling the beans when I was pregnant and when my ex’s girlfriend was pregnant… All 4 pregnancies he was like, “hey I’m getting a sibling”
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You don’t tell them. Its none of theor businees
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I put on a shirt on my daughter from another mother that said “ middle sister to be” before taking her back to her mother!
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When I told my daughters father I was having a baby I allowed my daughter to tell him.
We’re not together, haven’t been in 6 years. We coparent in a way that allows our daughter to see both her parents together but separated.
He was happy for me, he knows being a mom has always been my biggest dream and due to medical issues I’ve lost many pregnancies (a few with him) he also was happy for our daughter because she finally got a sibling after 6 years of being an only child. He has held my son, he is friends with my fiancé now (father of my son) and his family and him even buys my son stuff for holidays! I’ve been blessed with a pretty great father of my daughter.
Don’t get me wrong we still have our issues but we put our daughters wants/ needs above all else.
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I think if you do do it in front of the child and obviously be positive and keep the child in mind. That way when the child is with the ex the ex can’t say you told the ex another story and make the child question their importance and always reassure the child.
Why is it her business? She ain’t the one having the baby and you sure as heck didn’t lay with her to make it.
She doesn’t have the right to know anything about your life.
We didn’t say crap to her, I think the kids did and even then she made it about hurting her 
if she’s bitter from the go, she’s gonna be bitter no matter what. Save yourself the drama.
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To be honest, I didn’t make the news public until my husband talked to his ex. Not because we owed it to her but because out of respect for my stepson, I wanted to make sure my husband was the reason they found out.
That’s just me though.
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I’d say it in passing or just say (your step child’s name) is gonna be a big brother/sister. Haters gonna hate
My 1st pregnancy my stepdaughter blurted out that I was pregnant (22weeks with that one). My 2nd pregnancy my husbands aunt took it upon herself to get in the middle and tell her. I didn’t feel it was her business since the kids lived with us and nothing was going to change in regards to my step kids. I wouldn’t make it a big deal only because if she already thinks there’s a chance to get back together she’s going to act like you’ll push her daughter out. Make it seem like it’s normal and nothings changing, she can’t act like her child isn’t getting the attention. Just my opinion…
Good luck is all I can say when my step daughter told her mum. I was pregnant she tried everyone way to get between me and the father and we end up breaking up and now there back together and our daughter ist even here yet I’m so not looking forward to when she is cause his never there for use now but says he will and I can not stand here
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They’ll get over it.
Tell your older kids they will be happy to tell ur exs thats what we did.
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Uhh… why would you inform or even thoughts of informing? Your current life is none of their business? That just screams you still love your x
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I’m confused. Did your husband’s ex get you pregnant? Why do they need to know?
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None of their business. They had their run If you have a good relationship with them they will probably be happy for you and if not, refer back to my first statement.
Wren we got pregnant and told my partners ex it was honestly the best thing that has happened , we all have an amazing relationship now our son calls her auntie and she absolutely adores him. The best way is just to tell her don’t hide it or let the kids tell her as it’s not up to them to tell her
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Straight up you r with him n she the X know y’all are toghtar n should know y’all have a life should not hold the other kids back let them know that there going to be a new addition to the family n they r still all loved the same as always
Me and my boyfriend found out I was pregnant the night we was to get his daughter. It was a shocker so when he showed up to get his daughter from her mother she asked him what’s wrong ( he was so pale in the face and looked like he was gonna throw up and pass out🤣) so he said we just found out my girlfriend is pregnant.
With My son’s father he isn’t involved so he found out i was expecting baby number 2 from his mother when I was at her thrift shop shopping for stuff.
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I havent been in this type of situation but I would let him know and then let him tell her and yall can both do something special about her being a big sister.
Why are you even worried about the exes. Their opinions shouldn’t matter anyway. Unless you both want to get back together with your exes. You both have your lives together just like they have their own lives to live. I’m pretty sure they don’t tell you everything they’re doing.
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What are u worried about your ex. Child mother or your ex baby babby you have move on u owe no one enjoy mother hood onces more if the table were flapped would the worrie about u
I didn’t tell my ex and honestly it shouldn’t have mattered seeing as both of us have been engaged to someone else for awhile. There was no issue once he found out(I let it slip to his mom before I told him) and our son loves his sister and step dad.
I did how ever make sure my son knew that just because mommy was having a baby didn’t mean he was any less important. Me and my fiancé both make sure we spend time with just him.
You don’t! And you shouldn’t be worried about what they have to say be concerned about being happy during your pregnancy people like that want you to suffer and don’t give them that!
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Straight forward is the best way. Make sure all the kids know a baby is coming but they are loved also. Don’t tell an ex.
News travels fast
You say nothing and Do nothing! It’s none of their business. You guys don’t have to ask her for approval. My fiancé and I just had our baby, we both have kids me from my ex-husband, him with ex-gf (she has hope to get back with him and just always try to make problems for us) but we did not say anything to them, it’s none of their business we make sure all of our kids feel love and are happy in our home. Whatever we do with our life’s has nothing to do with them and they have no right to an opinion in our life’s or decisions. Simple as that.
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Why are you even concerned about the ex. Irrelevant. Your life and pregnancy is none of her business.
… how is this relevant to the page? I’m so tired of seeing posts like this!
None of their business.