Sounds like he’s trying to control you and keep you at bay. Do you stay at home all the time? Do you have access to the account and make sure that there is no other activity going on the side?
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Not trying to be rude, but I don’t understand how you get married and have a kid with a person but feel uncomfortable asking that. Was this an arranged marriage?
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He shouldn’t be leaving you for 5 days at a time without any money. You’re married you should have access to the finances.
Just be honest. Explain it to him like you explained it to us. Personally, I always ask my SO before I buy anything, but he does the same. (It’s a joint account). Honesty and communication are your best option. He won’t know unless you tell him
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I am extremely sad for you that you would ask us before you would ask him
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If you’re married, I would think that bank accounts should be joint. Maybe just tell him how you feel and see if he can get a debit card issued for you
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Joint account regardless if you need the money or not cause if something happens to your husband you have no way to get to any of the money if your names not on the account and then your really screwed
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Joint bank account? Me and my SO arnt even married but we share a bank account. 
I mean you shouldn’t have to ask in the first place but with that being said if he’s a nice guy and a good husband maybe he just doesn’t realize this is how it is for you. Just tell him like you told us, you would like to feel like you can grab a soda or coffee or something on your own.
It’s hard being home with kids and feeling like you’ve lost your independence as it is after working for so long and providing for yourself. Hopefully it just hasn’t crossed his mind.
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Just say, hey I need some money I have a few things to do can you leave me some
I suppose I was raised way differently than you. I’m at stay at home mom too, but just because I don’t get a paycheck doesn’t mean I go without. My husband and I are a team. I don’t have “an allowance” per say, but I usually set aside at least $30-$50 each week if money is not tight so I can have a life too. My children and I go to the library, church events, park, fast food, thrift shopping, and I get coffee several times a week with other mommies. If I ever felt like I had to ask for money, then I know my husband would be paying me for the 36 months of carrying all his children in my womb, not to mention pain and suffering from 4 sections, and I think charging for daycare for all 4 kids would be a paying job too. 
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When I became a stay at home mom we got a joint account for this reason , we moved to a new place and I didn’t feel comfortable not having money to do anything all day.
Literally just talk to him
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Girl just tell him. You need to get groceries etc u need gas money. My husband gives me $300 sometimes more a week. He just transfers it to my account and if he forgets I just text him and remind him lol
I agree that requesting to open a joint account would be best.
you shouldn’t ever have to ask for money. tell him you would like to be added to his account that way you have a card of your own to use.
I think you should have a sit down talk, and ask him to have a secondary card, that way instead of asking for little things, you could just grab it, like grocery items, but swing it by him if you were going to spend a larger amount, just so he doenst have to ask. Also maybe if that doesnt work out, you could work one day a week? So you have your own cash
I don’t work outside of the home and my husband still make sure I have money at my disposal. What you are describing sounds like financial abuse.
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He needs to give you access to the account with no questions asked this is financial abuse
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U shouldn’t have to ask
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Just ask for either him to leave out money for you, or join his account so you also have a debit card! You all are a pair. His money is your money and vice versa. I couldn’t imagine it any other way
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Just go with your ATM card and get some money
You have no access to it? That’s not cool.
Get a joint checking account. That way you each can have a debit card and access to money in the account.
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I dont know how you do finances, but my husband an I have had a join account since we wer 17. There is no mine or yours its ours. The best advice I can give you is to sit down with ur husband and casually bring it up. Say hey I know you cover everything we need but since I’m not working I dont have the cash on hand to get a coffee or take the baby out and do things, do you think we can go to the bank and get a debit card for me? Or can you leave me some cash? theres also the more subtle *hey i wanna go out tomorrow and get a coffee with the girls but dont have any cash( hint hint) I understand the not wanting to ask which is why we went to a joint account initially, and when I was working and he wasnt he still had access to the money if he wanted or needed it. My mother always had to beg my dad for money ( when she was a stay at home mum). And still does. It has ALWAYS bothered me and I hope that’s not the situation you are in.
Ask him for an allowance maybe?
Girl.WHAT?! I’m a sahm too. I can’t relate to this situation you’re in bc it’s never happened. The only thing I can say and what others have said is just to talk to your husband and honestly,don’t take no for an answer. This is a control issue and you are entitled to funds. When you got married everything became equal property and that includes money.
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I’d tell him exactly that. That you miss being able to buy things for yourself. It’s sort of a loss of power and even just $10 for some chips or whatever would make you feel better. I would think hed leave money for a “just in case” situation anyways.
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I would just tell him! Leave me some money dude so I can buy shit
I’d say, “give me your wallet and leave for a week and see how u feel”.
He’s your husband just ask him straight out .and if he ask you why just say because you never know
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Just talk to him if you know money’s not an issue. You’re married, it’s not HIS money.
Oh Imma follow these comments. See how this goes
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I’ve been a stay at home for 2 years and when i need money my husband quick pays me. Just talk to him!
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Just ask him. Hey could you leave me some money for the week incase I need or want something.
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Get a joint account, and a debit card. You should absolutely have access to the money.
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No girl you should not have to ask he should be leaving his debit card !
This is strange he’s ur husband when I was married we had a joint bank account and during work he kept $100 allowance and I had the card because I was at home paying bills he didn’t need all his money at work only enough for gas and food. Married means it’s both ur money not his or just urs.
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Ladies, this is domestic violence. It often goes unnoticed because our finances are a very private matter. Please be kind to her. Put yourself in her shoes for a minute! You’re lucky if you’ve never experienced such control. It isn’t about being smart or educated, strong or not. If you are controlled financially how can you ever escape? Most women stay rather than choosing homelessness for themselves and their children. It’s not an easy one size fits all solution.
https://www.purplepurse.com/
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You could just straight up ask him OR… just get a work from home job
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I’ve never worked in my marriage of 8 years and i always have a few dollers and a bank card to his account I don’t really have to ask he just knows I need it. I’m confused as to why he wouldn’t just know you need it?
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So as a SAHM I’ve never had to do this. We have a joint account that we both have a card too. I make sure bills are paid with his checks and then whatever with the rest. I don’t ever have to ask for money. However, if either of us want to buy something over a certain amount we do run it by the other one first.
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Leave me a 50 on the table
Only way around this is too sit down and have a chat and ask only way to know we’re he at and feels with it
I am a sahm but not married. My boyfriend has no problem just leaving me money or asking if I need any. I actually woke up this morning to a check written from him. Him not leaving you money or offering money is him controlling you. If you are married you should most definitely have a joint account. Especially if your home with a baby all day. If you need to leave in an emergency to get something for the baby or yourself you should be able to. I’m so sorry your going thru that.
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Well I’m confused 
. You can’t just ask?
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It’s not just his money. It’s your money. If he’s using this as a method of control, go back to work, put your kid in childcare, and make your own money.
And then leave the jerk
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I would just explain it like you just did here. You’re used to making your own money so asking someone else for it feels uncomfortable, but he’s your husband and you have to remind yourself that you’re still working for it by doing the most important job. I’m sure he will understand, he probably just hasn’t thought about it that way and thinks he’s being helpful by getting the things you need. As long as he isn’t holding money over your head or anything, that would be a whole other story. Just mention that you hate having to ask and maybe see about setting up a joint account.
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“Hey, can you leave me some cash? I think the baby and I will be getting out today, and just in case I need anything or he does I’d like to be able to get it.” Simple hun. It’s a difficult transition. I am back to being a stay at home Momma after working the last 7 years. Trying to work out my feelings on the scenario as well.
I get how you feel. I quit work to take care of my grandkids, we talked about it and agreed for me to do it. My husband went out and bought a new truck, way out of our price range. It was hard enough not having yes(my own money I worked for) after helping with bills, so I would have a few dollars in my pocket for birthdays or yard sales without having to ask him. But now with the monthly household expenses and his truck and full coverage insurance I can’t ask for a dime. Two paychecks go on his truck and the other two on bills. I know if I ask him for any, something else will get paid late and it puts us behind. So I stay at home watching kids , and on the weekends we both stay at home watching kids.
Right ,you should have access to the money ,I do know how you feel though ,I worked well raising our kids and I am now staying home to watch grandson - I hate to have to ask for money .Or for my husband to question what I spent .
Just tell him you need some money. as a matter of fact, You should keep all the money, and he should be asking you. Sorry. That’s our tradition, women hold all the money. He askes her for money . This way there is no money problems.
I’ve been a stay at home mom for a year now. At first I was uncomfortable using his money. However, me being the stay at home parent, I do the budget. We have a joint account and I don’t ask anymore. Inform him of a big purchase but it gets easier with time.
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Request money on Venmo and in the comment write “child just pooped on me, need retail therapy”
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Just ask if he can leave money regularly so you don’t need to ask every time see if he can set up a standing order into your bank account every month or week however the gets paid, I’m sure it wouldn’t be a problem
Just ask him. He probably doesn’t even realize. My husband didn’t realize till I told him I need cash home cause our acct is joint so he just assumed I would go to the atm if I needed cash
Oh my. That sounds very controlling.
He should know that you can’t be home alone, especially with a baby, with no money or no access to money.
You are not being treated like an equal partner.
I would sit him down and explain how this makes you feel.
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Tell him you need your own debit card for yourself. Or just explain it like you did here. You want to get out once in a while and have money if you want something. This should really be a given…im not sure why he wouldnt already or why you dont have a debit card with a joint account? If he doesnt want to give you money or a debit card than you are being controlled.
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Benefit of doubt… I’m thinking it hasn’t even occurred to him. Sounds like he gives you money anytime you ask so maybe just have that conversation. If he denies you then I’d agree with some of these other people ie financial abuse but some guys just don’t put that much thought into something unless they themselves are in that position. IMHO
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Is this seriously a question? Not trying to be rude but seriously…I’ve been married for 17yrs and been a stay at home mom to 4 boys, my husband and I have a joint bank account and both have debit cards, we barely ever use cash…for me personally, if my husband ever had me ask for money knowing that I take care of the kids while hes at work, I’d bust him in the face…if I need something while hes at work I have my card and go get it…seems crazy to even have to ask for money…being a sahm is a full time job all on its own. You shouldn’t have to ask for money.
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Tell him exactly what you said… You don’t feel comfortable having no money. And/or tell him you want to go out and do things with your child during the day. And/or why don’t you both have access to the bank account???
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Get. Joint. Bank account. 
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New baby and you not working is new to both of you. He may not even realize this is an issue. Talk to him. Suggest a joint account where u both have a debit card too. Then just discuss a limit that neither of you will go over with out discussing the purchase first (like$100 or $150). All depending on you financial situation.
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If he is your spouse thats y’all money & why dont u have a debit card? You should always have access to funds in case of emergencies. Just ask him?
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Girl, I’d just ask. That’s what I did. Well really, I said I need money.
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Girl, get a job at Walmart and work when he’s home even if it’s only 16 hours a week You’ll never have to ask for money.
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my husband and I have a joint bank account so we just talk about budget for the week… if you have separate accounts just have a talk about what you guys could afford for him to deposit into it weekly.
I’d recommend a joint account you can use for misc things, he can always split his pay to auto deposit set amount into the shared account so you have an average to work with. I work and my husband is a sahd and have a shared account, we both set budget in what we have for whatever and discuss any big purchases or things outside the budget together
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As soon as we were married we got a joint back account. Everything that we make goes into it.
I would just sit down and have a talk with him.
I know how you feel, I’m SAHM at the moment as childcare is so expensive its not worth it, I hate asking him for money if I’m going out somewhere but I’m not going to get it if I don’t ask… I just say what I’m doing or where I’m going and say I need some Penny’s lol, hes usually good at asking if I need anything when I say I’m going off out 
You should have your own debit card with access to the account.
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HIS money?? I thought you were married?
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Do u just do cash or do u have a checking account with a debit card cuz some banks if u both on accounts or whatever they will issue a second debit card in situations like this
the fact that you even have to ask his kind of sad if you are husband and wife should join your finances and each have a debit card with your accounts together, and consult each other about big purchases and what not Teamwork Makes the DreamWork
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Just tell him you need an allowance.
I’m more worried over why it’s hard for you to just ask? I totally understand where you’re coming from… I thought I could be a complete sahm but can’t, when my daughter was 3 months I started working on the weekends while my SO is home. That way I have a little of my own money, a break from the house, and she’s always with one of us, not a stranger. (We don’t have any family here, closest is 5 hours away)
Just ask? Nope, tell him. When he insisted on you staying home, he took the role as provider. That doesn’t just mean bills and food, that also means you. Being a stay at home mom/ dad is a hard job. You are intitled to have your own piece of the pie. He should understand this, if not; I would think this is some kind of control tactic.
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It’s no longer “his” money. It’s both of yours. That’s what happens especially when both parties agree that one stays home with a child and doesn’t work.
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Tell him how you feel and I’m sure he will. He probably just doesnt think about it and would if you wanted him too.
Pfft , girl that’s your money too. You should have your own debit card to a joint account.
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I have been married for 7 year and I just now like 2 months ago got a joint account with my husband 
but I have money coming in also but it was more of a we didnt have time to go to the bank with conflicting schedules and everything
Take care of it now .!! If you don’t do anything it will get worse.
Tell him you need like an allowance.
You could just suggest to him that you’re thinking of getting a part time job when he can be home with baby so you have spending money for when he’s at work. He’ll either say go for it and prove he’s actively keeping you without money or he’ll say it’s not necessary and realize he needs to start leaving you some.
Simple. Leave me some cash or the card we might wanna go out .
You’re husband and wife it’s not his money it belongs to both of you. You should be on the account with your own debit card so that you have access as well.
As far as how to talk to him, you have kids in your care and you need access to money for them and yourself. Explain it that way.
I guess some people operate with separate money but that doesn’t work in my house. From the day we moved in together we joined bank accounts. That’s before marriage or kids.
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Just ask. My hibby always live money with me even when we got little and he stays woth non
Ask him for a 2nd debit card. That’s what we do. SAHM for 6 1/2yrs
SERIOUSLY? This is insane! You shouldn’t have to ask him for any money. My husband and I have always had separate accounts, but only because we are to lazy to go to the bank🤣 we both had accounts at the same bank for several years before we met but we have the ability to do instant online transfers quickly and easily if we need money from each other’s accounts and we just tell each other about it later. He makes more money than me so he asks me several times a week if I need cash or he’ll just stick it in my wallet or purse after cashing his check. There was one time we thought we were short on a bill and we found almost $500 in my purse because I didn’t realize he was doing it because once I quit working and went back to school he thought I was just saying no to the money because I wasn’t working and didn’t want to take all of his spending money although I was just to busy to spend it🤣 I get a disability check and subsistence allowance both from the V.A. which covers almost all of our bills. The money he earns is basically our savings and spending money. I can look at all his purchases online and he can do the same with mine. That is the way it should be; money issues can ruin a marriage. Y’all need to go to the bank and get your name on the account and a debit card. Tell him that you’d feel better emotionally if you had the ability to buy something if you needed it; and if he’s not trying to be controlling ( emotionally abusive) he shouldn’t have an issue with it. If he does I’d go back to work ASAP!!!
Say I need some money
Financial abuse is real .
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You should have your own account . Me and my husband own 3 businesses . I was a hairstylist of 10 yrs and now a SAHM . He deposits my money when we get the checks every month . It’s OUR money . We’re married and he goes to work and I take care of 4 kids . I don’t ask for permission or for shit . You shouldn’t have to either
“Leave me $xx money tomorrow/this week”… 
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I’m sorry to say this but that is a form of financial abuse. 
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When you figure it out let me know. Cause I have the same issue
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“I need money so I can get some things when Me and little one goes out later.”
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Tell him you want some money! He’s your husband. You should know how to talk to him!
It’s not just his money, that’s not how it works if he insists on you staying home. I’ve always had a debit card to OUR account and able to buy what I want or need if we have the money. This is something you just need to talk to him about.
Mention it would be nice to have a joint checking and both of you have a card so you can run out for things if you need or want. My husband and I have that. We rarely carry cash on us.
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This man put a baby in you and probably watched it come out of you and you feel uncomfortable asking him for some money?!
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