What I say is “dude, I need money can you swap x amount into the account with my card.”
Edit to add I don’t have a card on his main account because I’m bad with money. I get spend happy. It was my idea.
Why do you not have access to the bank account? That needs to happen right now.
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My husband and I have a joint account with a debit card each
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My husband gave me a credit card and I just tell him hey I’m doing this tomorrow and that’s the end of it lol
Tell him you are having a debit card sent to the house for yourself. The end.
Ask for money it should just be a giving that you get money at least some in your wallet if not your own debit card. I have a full time job and mine still leaves me money for my days off even if my own account is full
I feel like it’s common sense to leave you money in case of emergencies, or just to have it.
So the fact he insisted you be the one to stay home, and he’s consciously leaving you financially dependant, sends me red flags. I could be totally off, but you’ll get your answer to that once you ask.
Simply bring up you’d like some money on hand during the week, or a joint account. If he denies your request, then I’d be concerned
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That sounds completely reasonable. We have two girls, and my hubs is starting trucking, so he will be gone quite awhile. I get access to what I need, and so does he. It might be easier to give you access to the bank, instead. Just because if something happens a few bucks can’t cover, or an emergency, you don’t need to wait for him to fix it (we had this happen when I had a tire blow out and he was at work). Just a thought. Otherwise I’d just bring it up, shouldn’t cause an issue as long as you aren’t demanding it or shopping like crazy (which you sound like you wouldn’t). I firmly believe a woman, especially a woman with children, shouldn’t be without a means of transportation and money on them. You never know
Honey, he’s a control freak. Being broke is the least of your problems.
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Why do any woman want to live like that I don’t understand it
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I would just say something like Hey Babe do You think You could leave Me a few bucks incase I happen to go out with the Baby? Makes Me feel better knowing I have a few dollars in my pocket incase of an emergency!
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Make his account a joint account so you have a debit card with access to it too. This is what we did when I had my son a stayed home
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What the fuck? Why don’t you have your own card to the shared account?
Whatever is his is yours 
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The fact that he’s doing this and has (in whatever way he has) made you uncomfortable asking him to stop, means he is already very seriously abusing you. This is grounds for leaving the guy before it gets worse. I know not everyone can do that, but this is very serious controlling behavior and it’s very scary.
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Give me money. Simple as that 
or see if he would open to having a joint account he could put some money in for you while hes gone and ask for a set amount every week/payday
Um I’m on my husbands account we made his a joint account. I have a debt card with my name on it.
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Just ask for a debit card of your own if you guy’s have joined account. And if you don’t have a joined account then get one. You shouldn’t have to ask him for money.
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Yup it should be getting a joint account
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A joint account and a debit/credit card is a must. Especially if you are a SAHM and don’t have income of your own. You shouldn’t have to ask him for money. Discussing large purchases and being on the same page about your finances is important, but this sounds really miserable. You can’t get your own gas, take your baby on a play date at McDonald’s, etc… I hope things change for you.
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Just ask him. Things shouldn’t be so complicated. Just tell him you would like some “pocket money” or “walking money” whatever ppl call it. He should understand that…
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Why don’t you have your own card? You should have access to the checking account
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Tbh u shouldn’t have to Ask ur husband its ur Money aswell no matter who Makes it Ur both Married!! wrong that u have to feel like u gonna ask him for some money…
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You are married so is both your money not just his and be blunt about it, say honey I need either a debit card in my name or you need to start leaving cash here while you are at work in case we need anything.
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It probably hasn’t crossed his mind to leave you money. Just ask him, like hey I was thinking of taking the baby to the park do you mind leaving me some cash in case i wanna stop to get an ice cream or pick up some stuff at the store and whatnot.
I’ve had to ask my husband for some cash every now and then.
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Don’t you have a joint checking account or credit card? That way you don’t have to ask.
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That is crazy you have to ask for anything from him and it’s not a joint account or whatever. My husband is away for work weeks at a time. (trucker driver) We don’t have a joint account however he leaves his debit card at home and I spend whatever whenever. That’s really sad that your husband doesn’t give you access and you have to ask. What kind of marriage is that?
Make a budget and include ur allowance. That’s what I do my husband gives me $1000/mo I use that for any misc things I might want to do with kids, gas and whatever I might wanna buy
I stay at home and my husband says just take money or ask for the card and that i don’t need permission to buy things or anything. So maybe just ask him to leave you some money or get a joint account so yall both have a card.
Maybe you can bring up the idea of having an account for bills and then each your own account that runs off the main bill account so when his deposit hits it goes to the bill account then you filter out a certain weekly/by weekly or monthly amount of money you guys agree upon into each of your person spending accounts?
If he asked you to stay home then say you would like a way to have money while being home. It’s nothing to be afraid to talk about
GUYS not every man thinks a certain way like women do! They actually kinda lack common sense. They aren’t mind readers so you gotta speak up! Stop telling her that he’s wrong and all this crazy shit. Just ask for some money or get a joint account and end of story damn.
Lol his money? Oh dear. Y’all are married. Not wrong at all. Just ask him. Really
No you aren’t selfish or wrong for asking, you’re just new to the whole being a SAHM thing.
First thing you need to learn is though he’s the one working outside the home, you being married makes his, yours and vice versa.
Second thing is there is nothing wrong with asking. Some men just forget and aren’t coming at it in a malicious way. They cover the basics but forget about the extras like getting a pop. You just have to tell them.
We SAHM’s have various “money arrangements” that we have set up with our spouses. You just have to sit down with your husband and find which one works for you.
Take Care. 
“Babe I need the debit card, thanks” 💁
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I tell my hubs
“I needz some monies”
I’m a sahm also so I get what ya mean… I don’t like asking him for money for makeup or clothes and stuff, but if going for coffee or something both of us are more comfortable if I have money on me to get home in an emergency
… it doesn’t sound like he’s being controlling… he’s not making you beg for tampon money or anything, some comments are making a mountain out of a ant hill, bajeebers lol
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Sounds to me that that is his way of controlling you
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I thi k most people have joint accounts and you should have your own card. Ask for your own card connected to the family money. It’s everyone’s money together.
You should talk to him and say it exactly like you just did in your post!
You should have your own money to get what you need or want. You should NOT be controlled by him.
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Sounds to me honestly like yours is similar to mine…
if so he probably honestly doesn’t even realize this is an issue. If so it’ll go something like this…
‘Hunny, I need some money to be able to take the baby and go out into society and get adult human interaction before I lose it completely and just go Neanderthal on your ass k please.’
‘Well babe all you had to do was say something, what am I a mind reader? You can have whatever you want, you just gotta let me know and you got it babe.’ He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed but he’s my tool and he’s a damn good tool but sometimes he needs some help with me 
And to him (and me too btw) that’s not control at all, he’s simply taking care of his family and not thinking of ‘little things’, just remind him that those ‘little thoughtful things’ make him sexier and even more appealing to you than usual bc you can see that he’s thinking of you when he does things for you to simply make you happy and for no other reason. You catch way more flies with honey than with vinegar.
Good luck hun and hope it goes great for you guys
We have a joint bank account and he usually will leave me about $20-40 cash for the week as well. I asked for the shared account but he leaves me cash because he likes to make sure we have everything we need.
I’m confused how you can be married to someone and not be able to openly communicate… I think that’s the problem that needs to be addressed
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How do you guys not have a joint account? You should have a debit card atleast.
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Unless you signed a prenup that’s yawls money boo but I’m sure he wouldn’t have a problem if you asked just be like babe I hate not having my own money to spend on things and take it from there
I have to agree with the other comments here…I would tell him that you’d like to open a joint account so that you can have a debit card with access to the the account. Even if it’s just an account separate from his that he puts a set amount of money in every paycheck. That way you don’t have to worry about cash and can do something as simple as ordering yourself lunch to be delivered, etc.
Unfortunately, people can be oblivious sometimes unless you tell them what you need. He may very well think that he’s just taking care of everything and that it’s all fine and dandy with you if that’s just how it’s always been with the finances.
That being said, if you voice your concerns and he dismisses you and flat out refuses to give you access to the money and insists on keeping full control of the finances - after you’ve made him aware of how you feel - then you have a problem on your hands.
You are NOT wrong for asking him to give you access to money. You take care of your guys’ child every single day while he’s at work - thus eliminating the expense of childcare. I think it’s only fair that you not have to ask him for every single penny for even the smallest of purchases. Regardless of who works, who stays home, who makes how much, etc. marriage should always be an equal partnership and for me personally, that includes finances.
Best of luck 
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I never really asked money is tight with us but if he has it he automatically gives it to me
This makes me sad. It’s not HIS money anymore. You are 100% entitled to it. You gave up your independence to stay home and raise your child who you BOTH made together. He is now the provider for the household and you are the caretaker. It’s ridiculous that you don’t have access to the bank.
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Just say maybe u want get part time job because u want have some money for urself and kids when ur at home all time ur bord and have nothing to do and want be able to go to store when ever without having to ask u for money see what he says if he doesn’t want u work say I feel bad asking u if y can leave me money because u pay for everything and I feel greatful for it but also feel bad because I want to to be able have money to just go and do things with kids I get bord at home say
I wouldn’t think so. I would just tell him you appreciate him picking up things but you’d like to get out and go to the store yourself
Just ask him. I was a sahm with my older kids. And my ex husband was just like that. But if i wanted money id ask him. Or he’d just leave me some. (I had issues with credit cards and them taking his money so i wasn’t on the bank accounts or anything like that.) But we also only had 1 car for a while so I’d go before he had to work to get what i needed or what i needed to get done.
His money? Once ur married its both ur money but in my case my ex and I we werent married but had a joint acct and i had access 2 the money. Before we had an acct he cashed his whole paycheck and gave it 2 me. Same with my parents. They had several joint accts and my mom had access…todays men i tell ya smh
I have credit cards and we have a joint account. I use that account to pay my credit card bills.
Just sit him down and tell him how you feel… I kinda had this issue when I became a stay at home mom but after keeping it to myself and being mad all the time I finally had a sit down talk with him… I didnt play a blame game just told him how I felt… he now puts 2-3 hundred in my account every week
You shouldn’t have to ask him for money. My ex made a comment once- he said " I give Donna money when I think she needs it". Needless to say he became my ex… Good luck.
I’ve been a stay at home wife then mother my 11 years of marriage I’ve only worked 5 days in that time and my husband didn’t like going to bed without me there. We also juggled one vehicle for a long time. Our most recent arrangement works best for us. Every Friday when he gets paid he transfers a set amount of money every week into my personal bank account. He makes sure all the bills are paid and treats that money like another bill. I buy groceries, diapers , gas in my car as well as anything I wanna pick up here and there or if I’d like to take the kids out to eat. If the kids need clothes, shoes , lunch money, or anything else that is not in my budget I let him know what’s needed and he asks how much and transfers that to my account. It works for us. I tell him that is my paycheck. Because if I had a job that’s where all my money would go anyways
I would just ask for one of the bank cards so you can have access to money when you want and he can still find comfort in the statements and seeing where money goes if you guys work together in that way, as long as it’s not a control issue. Communication is everything. But do it soon, you dont want something simple to build resentment or depression.
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I spend what I want, I’ve been a sahm for over 2 years now. I have my own car and credit card to go where I want. You’ll go insane not leaving the house with your little one every now and again. You need your independence too. Tell him to put you on the account so you have your own card and can take the baby to do things when you want to
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This is weird, your married? You have a child together? My fiancé and I share all OUR money because I stay at home and raise our twins.
I have all the credit/debit cards and he has all of his on a joint account. I would highly recommend telling him you would like to open a joint account so you can buy what you want when you want.
Your married, you shouldn’t have to even ask this
God forbid anything happens to him and you’re not on the account. You won’t even be able to pay the bills or buy groceries.
Hey, I’ve been married for 45 years and I remember those early years. I was so shy that asking for $$ made me shake in my slippers… I remember crying when I would need to ask for money.
He would always laugh and say, “Sure, how much do you need. It’s not my money, it’s ours. Why are you crying?”
I know it was silly, but it was embarrassing to ask for money.
I’m sure that all you have to do is ask. He probably just hasn’t given it a thought that you might need $$ at home. Talk about it and work it into your budget. I imagine you’ll be pleasantly surprised at how generous he will be. 
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Just be like “hey can you leave me some money” when I get paid I usually give my husband some. As when he gets paid he gives me money or if he has none he’ll ask me to leave him 20 when I go to work so he can get something to eat or drink during the day. Honestly it really shouldn’t be that big of a deal or a huge problem
There is nothing wrong with wanting some Independence. You just need to express the need to be able to go out and just be able to go to the store and be able to pick up some things here and there and how you miss getting out and shopping or whatever. If, and I say this with the best intentions, if this is an issue for him to allow you this freedom, please tread carefully and took a good look at your marriage. I don’t want any harm coming to you and your baby. Just take a look from a different angle. And proceed carefully. I do hope he willingly and lovingly gives you what you need. God bless. And congratulations on your new baby.
To all these women telling her she is being financially abused by her husband and should leave…from a simple question that could be bc of any number of reasons including that he’s maybe just a bit of a brain farter… SHAME ON YOU ALL! The breakdown of a family and home bc she doesn’t know how to let him know something? 
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Me and my partner have a joint account so we both have access to our money
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I liked being the working mom, but now I’m the stay at home mom. My hubby works. I know when we need something for our place I just flats out ask for a certain amount.
just ask him, he may not have thought about it. They don’t always think of things like that. they arent mindreaders, it’s not always a controlling thing that others say
Just tell him exactly how you just told us. He should understand and if he doesn’t then that’s a whole other issue. I was a SAHM forever and the money was just always “ours”. I knew the finances and what I could & could not spend. Big purchases need to be discussed… little things (lunch, outfit, etc…) should not be questioned. How much does he spend a week on lunches and things … you should have the same luxury. Budget an amount together and then let him leave u the cash. Whatever works for y’all but he probably doesn’t even realize u feel this way.
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Just ask him, you are his wife.
I’d just get a debit card for the bank account. 
Maybe you need a joint account, so you’ll have your own card and won’t have to ask…
Do you not have a debit card or a bank account?
“ hey honey, can you leave some money just in case I need anything”
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Just ask he is probably used to you just having your own money and hasn’t thought of it
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If you’re married then it’s both of your money. Yes it’s his job to make sure you’re taken care of & to have emergency money. He’s the one who asked you to stay home. Me & my husband have a joint account so if I need money, I go to the bank & get it.
OK u need to tell him you are a grown adult and u want $50 a week left in the house, so that you are independant and dont feel like a child. If you want to go have a coffee with your mum and girlfriends on impluse u can. Or if you want to suprise him with something u can. Its both your monies. I sure once you explain to him he will.understand. goodluck
My boyfriend letlerly gives me his pay card on paydays. We both work but he always has me carry the money.
Get a joint bank account or have him he you a card linked to his…
Can you have a joint bank account with your own debit card. Being a sahm is hard work. You deserve to have money to spend on whatever you want that you can afford
Its not HIS money it’s yours too. You’re married and are staying at home at his request with the 3 month old. Just say you need money to spend.
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You guys should share an account, and if not, just sinply say everything you just said to us, to him
Ask for maybe doing a joint account or if you can work the days he is home? Just say how you feel
First of all it’s not HIS money, you are married and he wants you to be a sahm. You shouldn’t have to ask him for money.
We are just engaged and no children. We generally make sure the physical action of bills are taken together. If one is out and about is not we check to make sure rhe other doesnt need something while we are out. But we get paid at different times. We usually go about it by just saying. Oh honey will you leave me some snack money lol some days it may just be the change from a ten or twenty or sometimes if its like monday payday itll be like 60 for the week. If either need more or its available we make it work but we always have atleast some “snack” money every day even on tight days. We just started calling it snack money cause we have vending machines at work and most places have value menus. So.etimes you just need a soda or bag of chips lol
Be open and honest with him how you are feeling
What married couple with kids doesn’t have a joint account? And it’s weird that you have to even ask for advice on how to ask your husband for money. This is just strange.
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Sit down with him and talk to him about it that occasionally you like to get out you might want to buy yourself lunch or just something to drink or maybe buy a candy bar see if he will give you some money
He should already be leaving money for you
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How about an allowance for yourself. Maybe he just hasnt realised it. Well let’s hope.
Ask for money? Have him put you on his account, or have him open an additional account for “spending” money where he can transfer funds when need be.
You shouldn’t have to ask. But you can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.
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He should be that’s all your money now to, get a joint account
You guys could share a bank account and you can get your own card.
Get your name on the bank account. Don’t feel guilty , it is legally half yours
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I work and I’ll feel bad that If I ask for money so I feel like I have to pay my husband back if he gives me any, me and my husband don’t have joint accounts, I pay for most of the Bill’s and he pays the house payment. I just feel to keep things separate
Just say it. Period. Or get an account that u both have a card to. Not fair he holds the money. What if u need or want something, or wanna go somewhere. In Norway would I allow a man to hold all the money. No way. Hes your husband. Not your friend. His money is your money.
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Just ask…u are taking care of his home and children
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Reading this I’m gonna about saying you dont have a joint account? Yall should have one. My husband works while I stay at home with our almost 8month old son. And we have a joint account. At times when I would go out with the baby by myself knowing I could use the money. I still made sure to call and ask my husband if it was alright just to know he has my respect with doing so. Are money is always a tight subject,but sometimes if you have to loosen the rope just to stay safe without making Bill’s always a priority. I hate shopping and have always hated spending unnecessary money,but being stuck home all day with a baby,you kinda need to do that sometimes. If you dont already have an account ,I suggest start there and see what happens. Being that money isnt your issueknot trying to sound so blunt and come off rude) but if everything for your house hold is taken care and paid and thered extra moneynsee if he’ll give you a weekly balance out of what’s left for you and the baby to enjoy yours self. You’ll need gas of course, and stuff to eat but encase you wanna buy something for yourself or the baby. You need ME time and you cant ways be stuck at home. Believe me I live in a camper with an 8month old all day everyday while my husband works… I dont have a car so I cant do that and we have a very tight life on everything. But a mama needs her outside life and should be able to splurge a little for yourself… being a stay at home mom is stuff as nails you gotta make it bearable and enjoyable some how. You’re married and it’s about trust and compromising.
You worked and don’t have your own bank account?
Sit down with him and tell him how grateful you are to be able to be a stay at home mom. However, it’s time to figure out a budget for you to have some spending money. Suggestion, auto deposit $50 (or an agreed upon amount) each week in an account for you if there’s no joint acct, and get a debit card to use. After all, you do maintain your home and care for the baby.
My husband and I both have access to our banking account app and we each have a “fun” sub account set up. Each time he gets a paycheck, if there is money left over after bills, we will put a little bit into each account that we can pull from for fun money. It was as simple as just asking for a separate account to place some fun money for when I want to buy myself something without worrying if it would break the bank. Any money on my fun account is mine to use as I see fit
Get an online job of some sort lmfao
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