My boyfriend has one kid and is gonna be a dad to 2 more (twins not with me ), and I have a kid by my previous relationship, so my question is now that he has two more babies coming how do I be happy for him and help raise them as my own while letting my dream go of having more of my own?
Why does that mean you will not have any more?
If he’s having twins by someone else, I’m assuming you haven’t been together long at all. It’s way to early to be thinking about playing step mum. Don’t give up your hopes on more children of your own as this relationship may not work, even if it does, why can’t you have more of your own?
If he just had twin babies then you guys clearly got together not that long ago… maybe he isnt for you? If he doesn’t want anymore kids passed those ones and you want more than maybe you should get out this relationship. You haven’t been in it for long so this would be the time in my opinion.
Find another boyfriend. Did he get that girl pregnant while you were togther
Run before he knocks you up too
Why would u be raising them as ur own? Dont they have a mum? 2 me this is all too soon.
I hope you realize the babies are not here yet. So why are you with someone for a short period of time and planning your entire life with him when there is way more to come. Did he cheat on you? Got another girl pregnant? Did he cheat on her with you while she is pregnant? I would stay far away from a man that is having babies with another women there relationship isn’t done . Your going to get hurt
Well 1. Why did he leave the mom pregnant with the twins? 2. Its to early to think about that,as you dont know him very well yet. 3. Wait and see what kind of dad he is to the twins and that will show u if u really want kids with this man or not as he could be a shitty dad.
Why are you.i in a relationship with someone who has a pregnant ex? You knew what you were getting into
Why would you be letting your dream go of having more? I’m confused.
As a woman who was cheated on while pregnant with twins, walk away. That girl thought he was her boyfriend too. What she didn’t know is HE wasn’t done with US. Once my babies were born and I talked to him again we were a family.
What’s stopping you from having more of your own??
We need more info
Gurl… I’ll let the pros handle this one Ayiiii!
In my opinion if ANYONE is getting ready to expect children, that is NOT the time to go out and date or try to build a new family. There is a lot of unresolved emotions/situations that are going to arise while this man tries to co-parent with the mother and it’s not going to help anyone’s case for a “step mom” to walk into the picture. This is a time for them all, you included, to do some soul searching and look inward. It may work for some people to jump into things at any random given time, but not likely chances. I feel like this is a far fetched goal/relationship you have.
I assume you can’t have children anymore if you say you won’t be having more? If so, I’m sorry. Children are such a blessing. Sounds like you know the answers you’re asking and the answer is you can’t find a way around this, a way to be ok with raising babies that aren’t yours, with a man expecting twins while you are mourning the loss of your hopes of more children of your own. If you do choose to take ALL that on then you have to make some huge sacrifices and live with those, live in your own disappointment and not being able to blame anyone but yourself for being in that situation. Harsh, I know.
There aren’t short cuts to these things. I say get out and look for what really makes YOU happy. Not the comfort and routine of having someone to be with. There’s always more to a story, based on the information you gave… I wish you the best of luck.
Huh there is way to many plot holes in this story have y’all only been toghther for less then 9 months … And your worried about babys?. Why can’t you have more? What’s stopping you.
Did he cheat?
Lots of what’s
If you get pregnant by him he is going to leave you too. So you need to think twice before its to late. You could be raising a baby by yourself.
I’m sorry u need a new boyfriend - preferably one who’s nuetered
Get out of that situation RIGHT now …
If your it to be with him don’t dwell on them not being yours and love them like they are.
Oh man. What. In. The. Heck. He got twins on the way?!? Ummm how long have you been together??? And his first kid… I sure hope it’s with the same girl having these twins. If not. You need to let this kid go. Move on. He already has TOOO MUCH baggage regardless of the situation!
This got my head spinning.
Girl it is way too soon for you to be thinking that way. Take it slow. He’s about to be spending lots of time with his ex and his new babies. Anything, and I mean anything, could happen.
Some people are extra special in this world…
I would leave. Babymomma is gonna be relying on him, especially with twins.
Probably should of thought about that before you got serious with him. If you want to be with him you have to except his kids including these two lil babies. And be prepared to be step mum to them. This does not mean you wont have one of your own together just maybe not right now as well he has two on the way
Why does someone else having his kid mean that you can’t have anymore?
Ummmm I feel like maybe he should be held at a safe distance…
He’s expecting not just one baby but two. That means that A: unless he cheated on you, y’all have been together less than 9 months. Far too short a time to assume y’all would be together forever.
B: instead of preparing for the TWINS he’s having, he’s out dating. To me, that means his priorities are way out of whack.
C: babies are a lot. You know this. If your relationship is still green, him being an active father to his new babies is going to put a huge strain on your relationship that will be too much to get through.
My advice? Hard to say without all the info and I feel like there’s been some serious omission here. If it were me, though, I’d bounce. That’s too much too soon and doesn’t sound worth the stress or heartbreak.
I’m gonna need more info before I can offer any advice.
How long have you both been together for? Why would you want to raise someone else’s kid for what seems like a brand new relationship. Let him DEAL with the BM first, as there will be alot of learning curves for all parties involved.
Honey slow it down please!!! You’re with him now? He has twins on the way by a different woman? Just STOP! See where y’all are in 5yrs, see what kind of father/provider he is to those other babies:woman_shrugging: Meanwhile you can love his kids as your own! Kids need love from everyone involved in their lives. If he’s a stand up man and dad? You’ll see it, but please don’t think you need to add another child just keep him:pray:
I’m confused why cant you have anymore?? If hes got 2 on the way with another woman then you cant have been together long… why are you planning a life around him already… if your happy with him then you will have to accept his children and also accept that their mother will always be in your boyfriends life as he has children with her… when getting with someone who has children the first thing you need to realise and understand is that the ex who is the mother of his children will always be round… do some soul searching and think about what you want that makes you happy…
You dont have to give up on your dream. You can have kids whenever you want. It just may not be with him. Since he has twins on the way, it probably shouldn’t be with him js
If the girl is pregnant that means it likely hasn’t been that long … wait . Y’all don’t need kids y’all just got together another thing is if you got with him knowing he had kids on the way good luck you sound childish enough to eventually say he dosent pay attention to you and all that crap
You can have more I don’t see why not probably just wait a bit til his are a little bigger… it’s a mutual agreement
The fact that you are even questioning this is your answer.
Do not subject his children to a stepmother who cannot parent them as she would her own.
Sounds like this is a fairly new relationship. Don’t be naive . His baby momms are probably not be that civil. Stop rushing bc you will end up getting hurt.
Girl either slow down…or let him go.
I think you’ve put the cart before the horse.
You are very ignorant!
Wait what? How long have you been with him? Why is he not with the mother? Twins is a big deal. Either he cheated on you or your relationship is super new, in which case I would honestly exit the relationship. Seems like he has his hands full. And if he doesn’t wanna have more kids but you do that’s a deal breaker right there so maybe he isn’t the one for you? Like maybe leave before it gets even more messy than it already sounds? And like it sounds pretty friggin messy…
The frick did I just read what is wrong with some females
They aren’t your kids to parent. They have 2 bio parents already
Leave all bad plus sounds like it’ll end in resentment towards the children so leave
I can’t even comment too much is wrong with this whole senerio!
The question is did you know he ex was having twins when you got with him? If so, you should’ve thought of that before you made a commitment with him. Unless you are fixed, I dont see why it can’t be a possibility in the future for you and him to have more.
I,ll run like hell…away…holy mackerel girl,ur setting urself up for heartbreak!!
Noooooo!!! He’s your boyfriend! Run girl! Wait for the right one! There is Sooooo much information missing. What can be said …
If you have to give up a dream just for a man, you are gonna end up regretting it. Go find someone that wants to achieve dreams with you
First off…what the what?! Second what does him having twins on the way have to do with you not having more unless you have had your tubes tied or hysterectomy or he got a vasectomy after impregnating the other person? Just because you both have kids doesn’t mean you can’t have more. I’m so confused…
Give it time, he probably won’t be your bf for very long
What in the red neck hell, just go
Run before he gets u pregnant
I’m assuming he got the girl knocked up prior to you dating… so this is a new relationship? You’re committing too hard too fast.
He has 2 babies on te way, and you’re bugging him for more? You can’t have been together long enough yet for you to even be serious. What in the trailer park is going on here???
My boyfriend has 2 children by another woman, and I have one by someone else, and I 1000% want more. If he didn’t want one by me, I couldn’t be with him. I wanted more than 2 children, but between us we have 3 so we’re having 1 of our own in the future, sometimes compromises is all it takes. If you want another baby, and he doesn’t want one with you then you ain’t gonna be happy with him. As for the twins, encourage him to be there as much as poss, it’s gonna be hard but those kids need their dad x
Girl how old are you?You’re with a guy having babies with another girl,and yet you want a baby too.Where is the money to support all these kids going to come from?
Ya don’t. You only live once. If it’s something you truly want then why should you lose out on your dream?
Gilr if you have doubts now your won’t be happy I would wait he’s literally having two baby’s now while your together look outside the box and seeing this situation I’m sure you would see it’s a bad idea and walk away now
Um nope. That’s a no for me. I’m so sorry. I’d be out. That’s not something you can compromise on
No one can really help you with this babe, this is solely your choice to stay with him and raise his kids
He’s about to have two more babies?? How long have you been with him I’m guessing not long at all… since it’s 9 months for pregnancy. And you already want more with a man who has three and two of them are not even here yet??? I’m so confused
So he’s going to be a dad to twins, which means you haven’t even been dating for 9 months… you’re already wanting kids with the dude?
He’s going to be real broke if she takes him for child support . Twins cost a lot .
Leave him, for his own good. Youre only gonna hurt him by being so selfish
Giiiiirl! You may think this man is the one but this has RED FLAGS ALL. OVER. THIS! You will find someone else and be great. This situation is just something you just have to walk away from now. You can tell his man does not have his shit together. Plus you want to have more kids. I hope you make the best decision for you. Good luck.
Ruuuuun Forrest ruuuuun
Wht the fuck are you with someone who’s having babies! Get the fuck outta there! Let THEM try to work on things and be a family
This question does not make sense to me.
You really want to be the THIRD Baby mother?!
Don’t let your dream of having more kids go, just find somebody who isn’t giving those kids to everyone with two feet and a heartbeat. You guys obviously haven’t been together that long, unless he cheated and knocked this chick up. It sounds harsh, but the consequences are few for the happiness you’ll gain with finding someone who can actually invest time and love into you and your little one
So twins not with you?
Honey you gotta make that choice yourself. But for the sake of those babies. Please make it before they get here and form any attachments. Neither choice is wrong or right. Be true to you.
What the hell.he having twins on the way with another woman and has another child and you want another child. Sorry but I would be running the other way. Sounds like you got with him after he got another girl pregnant. Why isn’t he with the mother of his twins. Do these 3 kids have the same mother or is he just having fun getting women pregnant
My God ye all so harsh and judgemental!! You dont the the full story behind the door so dont be 2 quick to judge … all this girl is asking for is opinion s not criticism!!
I understand this situation girl it’s one I’m in myself only no babies on the way I love the guy I have 1 age 6 he has 3 all grown up from previous relationships I want one more he doesnt I’m in fear of regretting it when I’m older if I give up on it and stay coz I really dont wana leave I love him so I cant offer you advice or opinion all I can say is I understand although diffrent situations I do understand wat ur feeling somewhat I know if I was in your shoes with twins on the way for him I’d be very resentful even more so I’d have to tell him I feel like that and maybe ask him to let you go so he can give u a chance to meet someone else as resentful of 2 beautiful babies will be so hard to handle for me as I’d feel so guilty
The question you really should or should have made is, why did you get in a relationship with him knowing he has kids on the way? That means he was in a relationship beforehand and then hurried into another. If y’all would have thought about it before rushing in you wouldn’t have this question. Too many things are left out of this question to really form an answer for you. Sounds like this is a new relationship and you are taking on a task that isn’t meant for a new girlfriend. Raising the twins as your own once they are born? You’re asking for drama.
Um yeah no. Tons of red flags run away. He’s with you and having twins with someone else? What happens if he accidentally knocks you up? Do you think he will stay? He’s already got other kids and he’s not with those mamas
Please clarify your thoughts. Were you together and he got other women pregnant? Did he get into a relationship with you that soon after having the twins?
It sounds like he is bed hopping. I wouldn’t want children with him. He doesn’t sound stable. If that’s true what can he offer you and another baby? It sounds to me that he will move on in the very near future without you.
Really, people shouldn’t get into another relationship for at least a year. The dust must settle first.
You can’t have children? I can’t figure what the timeline is with the twins. How long have you been with him? Short time? I can’t follow your post to give advice. Good luck I guess.
Get another boyfriend
Question is why did you get with someone who already has kids on the way with another woman? Especially if you knew you couldnt have kids yourself. There are more questions I’d ask then answers to give in this post. The situation is not fully explained so it’s kinda hard to give any good advice here.
The only problem here is one you have created all by yourself. Eye’s wide open for next time honey.
Your boyfriend is having kids with someone else?
If your boyfriend is having kids with someone else he either cheated or moves on way too fast don’t sound like a very good boyfriend… You’ll be fine I’m sure he won’t stay much longer
Ummm I think you have deeper issues to deal with here
Do what? I’m confused !! Honey if your boyfriend is having kids with other women don’t ya think ya might wanna pack a bag and walk out the door? I mean thats just asking for a life of hell
Sounds messy and like you guys haven’t been together long. He sounds messy tbh. Dude needs to pull his head out of his ass and stop sleeping with random girls, I hate to say it but you’re a rebound. Take your child and RUN! It’s better to be single than deal with all that. 🤷
They will become yours in no time once they are born
I think you need to find a new boyfriend
So basically, your boyfriend got a woman pregnant less than 9 months ago??? I don’t think you should be committing to ANYTHING with this guy, and you certainly shouldn’t be raising his kids.
Sounds like too much bullshit on his part. Run fast and far!
If he’s got kids on way it’s obviously a very new relationship,ie under nine months.You know he’s no longer with any of his kids mother’s and yet here you are already thinking about babies?Seriously where your brains at girl🤷
Throw the whole man out. He shouldn’t be with you this soon if he’s having twins and they aren’t born yet. I don’t care why he’s not with the baby mama there’s no excuse.
Wait what…?? So he was cheating or you don t know each other very long… ? Why are you even considering more kids… just don’t. It doesn t sound very healthy for anybody
Um… his your BOYFRIEND! NOT your HUSBAND!
I’m guessing this is a newer relationship? As in, he just left a relationship and is now with you. Seeing as the ex is still pregnant. Correct me if I’m wrong?
My opinion on that is don’t have kids with this kid. Unless he shows he’s actually taking care of the other children. I mean, highly unlikely he’s going to be happy or stay if you throw more children his way. 🤷 He has one child, two on the way, and you’re provably expecting him to treat your child like his own. I mean, your relationship doesn’t sound too serious…and no offence, but I wouldn’t be making plans for the future or having babies with this kid. Get you a man who didn’t go and impregnant half the block already? 🤷🤷🤷
I think you should end this now before his kids are born. Sounds like a shit show. Love yourself and get a man who’s NOT having two kids with the another damn woman. Wow.
I’d be finding a single man with less commitments he seems be sleeping with a few. Woman very quickly does not sound stable or Father material to be honest.Good luck
How on earth is he going to pay for all these kids let alone more?!?! I’d love to say dump him and find someone who hasn’t already got kids by some one else and is willing to support you and your kid but tbh your better of being independent with your kid worry about yourself and your kid !
Don’t be involved in that mess value yourself. Know your worth.