Hi, if you could anonymously post my question below about how to handle the aftermath of an emotional affair, I would REALLY appreciate it! I’m in a tough spot, and the folks on this page are awesome about giving straightforward advice. Thank you so much!! My husband had an emotional affair with a woman online. They never met, but before he ended it, they were talking about leaving their respective spouses and starting a life together. She was encouraging him to leave and divorce me while claiming she was extremely unhappy in her own marriage. We are in therapy addressing why he felt the need to do this, and it’s too soon to say what the outcome will be for us, but it’s done him a lot of good. He is extremely remorseful and has been completely transparent about what was said and shared with her. One thing that really seems to bother him is he doesn’t think her husband even has a clue she was getting ready to leave him. When my husband changed his mind, she, of course, was angry. In her mind, it was my fault even though He was the one begging for a second chance. It’s been about five months, and we’re continuing counseling as it’s really helping us both. I suspect it’ll be something we’ll need to continue for some time if we truly want to heal and rebuild. The biggest hang-up seems to be the guilt my husband feels over the fact that while he came clean on his own, his emotional affair partner’s husband doesn’t have a clue about what happened. My husband just feels he deserves to know. He won’t do it unless I give my blessing, and I’ve been hesitant because they have children. I just don’t want to cause pain to people that don’t deserve it. My own kids are too young to understand what exactly happened, but they know mom and dad had some things to work out. On the other hand, I know if it were ME, I would want to be told. Our therapist is supportive of my husband reaching out to him, so I am the only holdout. Can you ladies give me some insight? Understandably I know I’ll get a lot of comments telling me to send my husband packing. I did for a time, and that’s still not off the table should he show me he’s not genuine about wanting to work on him, us, and our marriage. Before I give up on what has been 12 amazing years of marriage, I want to be able to say I did everything to keep my family together. The mess of the other innocent people involved is where I feel hesitant. I shouldn’t care, but I do… even though I 100% agree that the husband should at least know. I think I know the answer already, but it would just really help me to be able to hear from others that may have been through something like this. Thank you for taking the time to read this and for your opinions.
It’s his choice. It’s literally not your call. Leave him be and let him do what he feels like he needs to do. Working through things after something like this can definitely be difficult. Kudos to you for trying.
What a Emotional affair 
For me, I would want to know. This is just the stepping stone before it becomes a physical affair. So yes, I would want the other husband to know. He deserves more. I get that kids are involved. And it sucks but she knew what she was doing. She didn’t care about how all this would affect them. I say tell him but in the end… you do what is right for you
I would let him say something. If it were reversed, I’d want to know.
I mean I’d let him say something. Keeping it from the spouse might damage their family a lot more if it’s uncovered later down the line
Wtf? It’s not your business and it’s not his business if she is cheating on her husband. You two are online people, you realistically dont know anything about her life. I’m an online “egirl” and can tell you straight up I lie to guys. They think I’m cheating on my boyfriend with them but I’m not. Me and my boyfriend have in actuality full transparency and really. You all need to mind your business, shes an online girl. Move on, turn off your computers. 
For all he knows he was getting played.
From your point of view, you have nothing to feel guilty or worry about. I think either way if the husband were to find out, then they too could work it out like you and your husband are trying to do. You might regret it later in life as well if your husband didn’t reach out and felt guilty knowing these things. I think all parties involved should know, but that’s just my opinion. Its incredible that you’re thinking about their children and protecting them, but at the same time the mom did already try to “leave her marriage”. That’s not on you, and I think you’ll know in your heart what’s best.
Get rid of his emotional ass
I would want to know why he feels it’s his place to tell this womans husband. If the affair is over he needs to move on and not care about what this woman does, what her husband does or does not know, or what happens to her family. Him wanting the husband to know tells me he still has an emotional connection to her.
This isn’t the first time he has cheated. I almost guarantee it. Hes only remorseful because he got caught. Now, you need to let him decide to reach out to the other man or not. That’s his decision. Not yours.
Maybe don’t open that door… What if then the husband leaves the woman and the she pursues your husband and everything goes wrong…
I think he should put her and her husband in the past and let them figure out their own marriage.
How did you find out?
You and your husband need to worry about your own marriage. Let them worry about theirs.
Work on your own marriage and let her work on hers. Leave it alone
Not your marraige, not your or your husband’s problem. Stay out of it…your hubby too.
Her husband needs to know she may have moved on to another woman’s husband now
No, you should not send your husband packing. If you both want yo work on the marriage by going to counseling then continue to do so. As for the other couple stay out of it. Maybe she did come clean, who knows. Right now just work on your relationship.
I’d personally wanna know if it were me 
…
Our subconscious is an amazing and terrifying thing.
I personally would suggest him exploring why he wants to tell the husband so badly.
I would also explore why you’re so hesitant.
The “deeper” answers to those questions; will tell you a lot about what the right thing to do is.
Personally; if it was me. If i was where her husband is…
Yeah. I’d want to know. However…I don’t think I’d want the other person to “come clean” to me. I’d rather hear it from their spouse who was wronged too. Just simply because it would feel less…braggy…less…invasive.
Girl I’ve been there. It’s hard. At times I feel like it’s harder than mine just physically cheating & being done. We’re going on 2 years after. You can get through this 
Only you can answer that. You need to find out what works for you. Counseling is a great start.
Personally, I’d tell the other husband myself, if I were in your shoes. But that’s just me. Nobody deserves that!
I didn’t even read this, but if you are questioning how to cope then you probably already have your answer, you can’t. You can go to marriage counseling, but only you can decide if you can cope or not. It’s hard, but it’s 100% ok if you can’t come back from this.
It’s up to you 2 how you want to handle it, but if you don’t do it solely because you’re worried about destroying a family, that isn’t a valid excuse. Their family was already broken. Your husband wouldn’t have been able to wedge himself between them if there wasn’t already a crack there. You wouldn’t be destroying a family, you’d be hastening the inevitable. And for all you know, outing her will be the catalyst that forces this couple into counseling and starts them on their journey toward reuniting and working to rebuild their fracture bond. Might be doing those kids a favor, but you’re certainly not putting them in a worse position than the one they were already headed toward.
I would tell him only because I would want someone to tell me if my partner was doing this behind my back.
Your husband sounds like an ass wipe who doesn’t want to be in trouble by himself and wants others to suffer too. If he is truly over her then they as a couple should not be on his mind. He needs to be focusing on yalls marriage and stay out of theirs.
You know the couple? Husband probably has a clue. Your husband going in for counseling cause you caught him? Leave the decision up to your husband not you.
Not your circus, not your monkeys. Her relationship is 100% hers to deal with and neither of you have a right to mess with that, regardless of your feelings on the matter. You have no idea the inner workings of their marriage, or lack of marriage, to assume he needs told. He may already know. They may be open. He may be in the dark. Either way, your relationship is yours to deal with, and hers is hers. Focus on fixing yours, if that’s your ultimate goal. Nothing good comes from petty retribution.
Its not your /Hubby’s problem so don’t …you don’t need that drama in your relationship
Wow you’re so brave, truly. I don’t know if I could be that considerate! I feel you have to do and say what is right for you but assess the situation anything unresolved could potentially cause resentment later on and you’re working so hard to be ok. I think if it were me I would want to know, but I get you don’t want the one to put the cat amongst their pigeons so to speak. Also it’s their relationship and I would want all contact to be severed between them. A very hard time for you just be 100% honest about how it is making you feel when it’s being discussed. Good luck to you x
If your husband only text on internet and never actually met this woman then I tend to think that there is something wrong with your husband. No one fall for someone that they never met. And planning to leave you his wife over this married woman is just thickening. I would leave him. He is not an honest person. He knew the woman was married and he was also married. My beliefs are if you have to go to marriage counseling then your marriage is pretty well over anyway
There is nothing to be gained for you or your husband ruining someone else’s relationship. There will be drama from tello g him and that will conflict with you and your husband working things out. Worry about you guys not him.
Nope, he needs to let them alone. Who knows if she even has a husband. If she does , she’ll find some other fella to leave him for. Y’all should work on your marriage.
I can’t believe some people say “don’t”!! I hope you’re never cheated on. Then find out that your friends or acquaintances knew and they left in the dark!!! That adds even more dishonesty, mourning friendships on top of mourning a marriage.
If she did it with your husband ,she’ll do it with the next guy she cries the blues to. The husband shouldnt be left in the dark. Your not bringing pain to the family she is.
That other man deserves to know the truth. What he does with it is his own choice.
I’d tell him, but I’m super petty.
If he absolutely needs to tell the husband and he has emotional turmoil about it… then let him.
First I am sorry I’m not a lady but I ran across this post somehow. My wife and I went through this back around 5 years ago. My wife swayed once and I was in a texting spree with another woman. Counseling did nothing. It was open communication and rebuilding the trust that pulled us through. Marriage takes alot of work on both sides. Only if you want it to work it will. As telling her husband yes do it. He needs to know and deserves to know. Since your husband pulled away from her I can make one promise she has already began a new search or has found her search.
His call. He may need to tell as part of forgiving himself. If he wants to reach out, let him. However, he should be prepared to be met with anger and denial.
I’m no therapist BUT …it makes no sense why your husband is SO adamant about the other husband knowing! And if I were you I’d doublecheck with your therapist as to why he/she thinks this is something that should be done. For what reason? And how should that affect YOUR marriage?
You and your husband are supposed to be focusing on your relationship…just the two of you.
Why on Earth is this other woman (& her husband) still involved in your marriage?
Very very odd if you ask me.
Your husband should only be concerned with you at this point.
I think it should all be left in the hands of God.Granny always said you give someone enough rope they get there self in a really tight knot
If it were me I’d want to know. Wasn’t she cheering him on to leave you. Girl I’d crash that party. She crashed yours.
Work on your own problems. Leave them alone to sort out their own marriage. No one would benefit from you or your husband stirring the pot. If it’s true that no sex was involved then there’s no need to worry about STD’s. That would be the only good reason to alert him.
I would be concerned as to why your husband is so adamant on the other husband knowing.
I wish people knew how fucking hurtful this is. Regardless of if they act on it or not, I mean. Why would you want to do this to someone who loves you??
As far as your husband thinking her husband should know,…honestly, maybe he’s hoping the husband will leave so they can be together? I mean. He’s a shady shit so I wouldn’t put it past him.
Also for fk sake if you need to talk to someone outside of your relationship for attention, stop being lazy and taking the liars way out. Work on your relationship, or leave. but don’t do this to them.
I just found it so unfair to the other guy. Your husband at least showed you a little respect by telling you… that poor guy probably has no clue thinking his life is good. He should have the right to chose just like you. To me it’s all about ‘what if that were me’
I was on the other end of this situation with my husband where he was having an online affair with a girl he claimed to be his best friend of many years. They have never met in person but have been friends for years online. I didnt find out about it until someone close to us made a comment to me while my husband was on a MUE and after that I started watching him closely and finally found out the truth about what was going on. It took me a year to find out a majority of what happened because he had been hiding it from me and lying every time I’d ask about it. And for every time I caught him he had this amazing excuse and would break down crying and say he was so sorry, but obviously continued since it went on for over a year right in front of me. We still struggle with him and other women and specifically that particular woman to this day, he called her earlier this month against my wishes.
I would just look for the signs and if you get that gut feeling, then stand your ground and walk away but if he actually shows he is working to get better than I’d say keep trying. I know for me I’ll never be able to fully forgive him and I still get angry about it almost every day and constantly think about “who’s next” or who I dont know about and it’s a terrible way to live in a marriage especially with children involved and seeing the struggles mom and dad are going through.
If it is over it would not matter. Does he want him to know so they can’t work it out? A lot of unanswered questions. Good luck!!!
I would just build your relationship with your.hubby i wouldnt let the other husband no it should be his wife to tell him.it could destroy you all u love your hubby try to forgive if hes ever does it again then hes not worth u staying with him.
If the other couple split, do you think your husband would want to be with her?
I think an emotional affair is far worse than a sexual affair. He obviously is seeking something outside of your marriage . It will happen again ! Why is he so concerned about her husband finding out. He should only be concerned about repairing your broken marriage . I suggest you go to a different therapist in order for you to sort out whether you want to stay in a marriage where you will always be looking for signs that he is doing it again!
I’ve been down this road so I’m trying to not make assumptions based off of this short paragraph but maybe you should explore Why he wants to tell the husband so badly? My husband also came clean on his own and felt really bad for the husband. The difference was he wasn’t really hung up on trying to tell him because he didn’t want to give the wife any ammo for more drama so to speak, but she was very persistent about wanting my husband to change his mind. I would go with your gut and worry more about the “whys” behind this happening because that’s where you’re going to fix your marriage, if possible, not by dragging up what happened 5 months ago and reliving it all over again. Good luck.
Your husband probably wants her to get into trouble too. He got in trouble so, why not her?
I mean, if it were me I’d totally tell the husband. Not to be petty, but I would want to know!
Let him tell her husband, as someone whos been cheated on, I would have rather someone told me before I walked around thinking everything was okay. He might be able to put it into helpful words “Well, your wife is feeling this way, and I just wanted to let you know why I know this, and I am so sorry” that way maybe the other husband can see where and if hes lacking, my own husband lacks so much in the emotional support and communication departments and it hurts so much, and he wont listen to me about where he lacks, but I know if someone else told him it’d get through. Because often tmone spouse feels like they’re nagging or asking for alot when they vent, or thebother spouse thinks their spouse is only saying this to cause drama or stir upnissues because they didnt voice it right away. I wish my husband would spill all his emotions to someone and that person told me that way I might be able to work with him better…just my opinion
I dont agree with half of these people… I’d want to know. Because if I found out the wrong way and wasnt told that’s gonna piss me off even more. It’s still cheating. She was gonna leave him, or if my husband was gonna leave me… I’d want the other person to tell me if he didnt. Its respectful. That’s just my opinion
Unfortunately the husband of this woman isn’t operating on the facts. If he knew, then he could make a sound decision for himself. Noone likes to be left in the dark, then wasting years on a lie that your spouse was being emotionally unfaithful. If he knew the truth, he can make the decision to stay or leave. I’m not a therapist. just a person who would want to know if I was in this situation. Life’s too short to spend it with someone who doesn’t care about you.
First I would like to know how it is that you found out? That is a really big determination and critical to the next step which as you said is counseling. Was he acting out and you got suspicious and you found the messages. Did he just come clean? if they live near each other I can almost promise you they were intimate sexually. That is why the woman is upset. He’s done all the correct things that need to be done right now which is admission, allow you to go through your feelings, and counseling. The fact that he cares so much about telling the other husband leads me to believe that he wants to see where that is going. My guess is since he was forced into telling you, he wants her to follow through to see if maybe she’ll finally leave her husband like they discussed. Again, it all depends on how you found out. If it didn’t take much for him to confess and was immediately remorseful, then my guess is he genuinely wants to be with you. The fact that he’s so concerned with telling her husband has a lot to do with her, not the husband in my opinion. If I were you, I’d stay out of it because if this woman is angry, it is because he lied to her too and she believed him. No woman would be angry over an emotional affair, she’s angry because she gave herself to him. Leave her husband alone. It will do your marriage no good to go into their marriage. You do not know what kind of husband this woman has and you could potentially put your own family in danger, not worth it and shame on the therapist for encouraging it. I get that people want revenge but it’s not worth it. If you are willing to work things out and you have a really great husband, then work out what caused him to do this to begin with and focus on that.
Woman, you deserve better. If he had issues, in any way, he should have turned you you or a licensed therapist
Dump his cheating ass, move on and live your best life
Maybe I’m paranoid but my first thoughts would be what if the other couple split after he finds out. Would your husband leave you for her? To be honest I think that the other man deserves to know and its a great way of testing your husbands new found loyalty. 
As someone who was married to a serial cheater…here’s my two cents… why does your husband feel so adamant about telling the husband??? Is it so it will break up their marriage? Then he can leave? While I agree that the husband deserves to be told, I also strongly believe YOU should be the one to tell the husband. Call him and give him all the details. Also let him know that you and your husband are trying to repair your marriage and you want to make sure their is no need for further contact between your husband and his wife. You will be amazed at how much closure this will give to YOU. If your husband adamantly objects to you calling then you need to question his motives!!
You said yourself that you would want to know, that your own children know that mum and dad needed to handle some stuff…
But you’re not allowing this poor man who’s been betrayed to know? Because of “the kids”? Seems a bit hypocritical really.
He may need to do that to keep moving forward. I agree with I’d want someone to telk me if my SO did that. He does have a right to know and if your husband needs that to help with any lingering guilt he has I say let him do what he needs to do
Let him tell the guy. He’s gonna hurt for some time, and hopefully leave her and find someone deserving of him and his children.
Just focus on your own bussiness leave the other one alone you have emough on your plate
Cheating is cheating. No if or buts he will do it again the ball is in your.court
I would tell the husband and if your husband was my husband I would have left. He was going to leave you for another woman but chicken out. He will do it again when the next woman comes along and he never thought of your 12 wonderful years together. Sorry I wouldn’t stay with him as I wouldn’t be able to trust him
He plays both sides too much. This even if it gets better will happen again most likely. Sounds like he doesnt know what he wants. If it was me, I would get a divorce and move on with my life. Find someone who I can trust.
First off… Bravo on working on your marriage. Going to counseling and seeking support is a wonderful way to begin to heal yourself and your marriage. I have complete respect for you both for working hard to keep the marriage together.
With that said, I don’t think I would want my husband to reach out to ANYONE on the OTHER WOMENS side. Things I think about when I read this post is… Was your husband Cat-fished? Will telling the other husband the truth about his wife, now free her up and make her single again? I wouldn’t want the women my husband emotionally got connected to to suddenly be single, makes it easier for her to try to steal mine. Why is it so important to YOUR husband to tell HER husband what she did? It’s NOT your HUSBANDS business what happens in the other women’s life. Leave well enough alone and move forward. By allowing this emotional relation they had to continue to dominate your family’s life, then you are allowing this other women to still be apart of it. CUT ALL TIES! Focus on YOUR FAMILY. You should respectfully ask your husband to LET IT GO and MOVE ON and to NOT ALLOW THIS TO DISRUPT your future together. What ever happened with this OTHER women and her husband IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS… its NOT YOUR HUSBANDS BUSINESS… It’s the other women’s responsibility to handle her own problems.
So if he only met her online talked to her online is it Facebook where she states she’s married and he is tagged? How else would he know who the husband is and how to find him? Work on your marriage. What would be accomplished by telling this husband what she’s done. Move on and heal and put it in the past. The only way he’s going to let go , to me it would cause more drama than what I would as a wife would want to deal with.
I had this problem many years ago. My husband cheated. I found out by her husband calling me and telling me. All of my friends knew but never told me. Think it through. If you do this or your husband does be ready for anger directed towards both of you. I’m glad I found out but it hurt that it came from a stranger. I have also been on the other end of this and told a very good friend her husband was cheating. I knew for a fact. She dropped me as a friend and blamed me for breaking up her family. I can’t tell you which way to go but think about consequences and what the pros and cons are for telling the husband or not.
I notice that the words ‘need’ and ‘should’ are not about yourself.
So I think that is a clue for you.
I suppose it is understandable to want to cause pain to someone who was complicit in your pain.
And exactly what would be achieved by a stranger telling some bloke his wife flirted on line? Make a list of benefits you see.
Then focus on hu our own relationship. There are 2 people in your relationship. And they both need healing. They both need to see what allowed for a potential devastation.
Heal that. Stay together. . Move forward.
Seems very odd he wants to tell her husband SO badly. IMO he’s thinking “if he can’t have her, no one will” not even her husband. He knows her husband will probably leave and that’s what he wants.
Well I think he should know maybe you should be the one to tell him instead of your husband it might come off better cuz if I was in that situation which I have been in it more then once (being cheated on) I would want to know maybe he feels like if you guys were in opposite positions then maybe you would feel the same way and maybe that’s what its going to take for you guys to move on to the next step whatever that might be I think it’s the right thing to do him coming clean to you says a lot cuz he didn’t have to
How does/would he have the husband’s contact information? I too want to know how she found out.
He seems jealous that he was caught and not her 
Im pretty sure if they spilt up, guess who your husband is gonna go to 
He dont want to be miserable alone…
Si tu le sens sincère continue avec ton mari .surtout que vous aller en thérapie ensemble.Oubliez l’autre homme il s’apercevra assez tôt que sa femme le trompe .Gardez vos énergies pour vous
Personally why is he so worried about someone he doesn’t know? Is he that obsessed with her life? What is his real motive? He should be 100% concentrating on you. Not even giving her and her situation with her husband any thought. So I disagree with the counselor.
Perhaps you should think about both of you telling the other husband. You could support each other. Is part of your husband’s remorse because the other woman got angry? Does your husband feel like he let her down,? Questions I would want answers to before getting involved with telling the other guy. After all. You and your husband owe allegiance to each other first
How they handle their children is beyond your control, but regardless of children he has a right to know, it may hurt, but wouldn’t you want to know?
You can forgive but you will never forget … it’s hard yes …but as far as telling the other man that’s his wife’s job dont let it wreck two marriages if it’s going to happen it will happen on it’s own… your husband needs to work on your family if that’s what he is going to do there was nothing physical between the two of them as you said it was just emotional and never met talk is just talk
Seems like a way to continue the drama and communication with these people. So he tells the hubs then the women wants to talk to him???
Put it in the past and move on.
I would tell the guy- do it together. He probably wont believe it anyway but i see it is more of a therapy action for your husband in order to let it go- it isnt really about them at all. Tell him, then no more contact at all, the rest is up to them to work out.
Seriously…he probably already knows. She has probably distanced herself and he probably got the vibes. I wouldn’t tell him if I were in your shoes.
I’d want to know if my partner was making plans like that also! I think her husband should know the truth about his wife
He needs to focus on his marriage and his life. I dont understand why the other husband needs to know, what is it to him. It should be nothing. His priority should be his wife, kids and marriage and let go of what he done. Wanting to speak to the husband is not letting go and that is that wife’s problem not his concern. They just talked nothing physical. Something is still off. Get to the root of it.
I think the only reason the others husband should be made aware is if she tries to reconnect with your husband.
Then it will be an obligation to tell him because she is still trying to hurt her husband and your family. But if she doesn’t try to reengage go your separate ways and you guys just concentrate on healing your family.
Let him tell the husband and you guys continue to fix things between you guys
Your husband is a naughty bozzo and dragging you into his mess is even worse. He just wants to make sure they are both free to mingle when you finally decide to let him loose. Just don’t involve yourself in his vendetta, concentrate on your marriage and it fails you shall have tried.good luck
So he’s still thinking about the other woman and wants her husband to know about what she was doing? Yeah, it’s just killing him inside that you know about his stupid actions and her husband doesn’t. Don’t fall for that shit.
I.think.let.it. go.you giys move passed.it. maybe they will.maybe they won’t be able to if they don’t make it let itbe there t hing
Personally I wouldnt want some stranger telling me my spouse was cheating on me!! I’m not stupid! I would probably already know or at the very least be suspicious! Wether I choose to turn a blind eye to the niggling doubt or to call out my spouse and deal with it… its my choice!! I’d be pissed if someone forced me to have to deal with something I wasnt ready for! The only time I would want to know from an outside party would be if there was a child or an STD as a result from the affair!! Only those things 2 make the affair a bigger problem with bigger consequences than just my marriage!! Xx
Because his life is messed up,he wants to mess up others. Tell him grow some balls and be a man. He fkd up and he cheated. It doesnt matter who or what the other person was. And by the way,he gunna cheat again because he is lacking that validation at home!!! And it’s not you, it’s his choices so yeah,leave while u can
He does have a right to know. I have been in a similar situation. It took some time but we have worked it out and are happy. That was four and a half years ago. He was speaking to a woman online in another state and i actually caught on. He came clean and said that they would stop and that he loved me and he wanted everything to work for us. We were not in a good spot in life and we were living with his sister and under a ton of stress. I had my conditions, i wanted to see what was said between them and i wanted her to know the outcome. She didnt know that he was married and really liked him. I had a month or so of wanting to hate him, of trying to figure out a life without him and ultimately my heart won. I loved him and still do. We needed to reconnect and we did. It took about a year for him to have my trust back and i do truly forgive him. I love him and he has seen how it affected me and i really feel lile he would not do any of that again. I know many of you will reply with he is just better at hiding it and stuff like that but i honestly feel that he was self sabotaging because our life sucked, we lived with his sister and we had three kids at the time, he didnt make too much where he was working and the stress cracked him. He didnt realize what he was throwing away until he almost lost it all. Now he is here and he is a great husband again. From experience you both can heal and become even stronger. Keep your head up, you both have came so far by communication and you can heal. It will take time. But you can do it.
If y’all are gonna work things out your husband needs to stop worrying about that woman’s relationship. It’s none of his business. The fact that he is says to me he’s not 100% committed and only came clean because he feels guilty or she she decided not to leave her husband . But if it were me I would of left soon as I found out he discussed leaving. In my opinion he’s buying time and wants to tell the other husband so he can break up that home and be with the woman. Focus on yourself and not the other people
Honestly, I would tell him.
It seems like you two are taking the steps to rebuild and fall back in love.
ive had years of it. all it has done is made me distrust him. ive guarded myself from wanting whats expected of a relationship. I have no emotional physical or mental attraction to him anymore. Just a glorified roomate/ that resembles a sibling… it destroyed me despite my original efforts to work past it and leave it behind… he just continues with his old n new like it was never an issue… I chose to have no contact with anyone involved. not even his other women.
Emotional affair is just the beginning. Some men just cant stop. Choosing to forgive him is entirely up to you. You know your relationship best.
However forgiving and letting something like that go is extremely difficult.
She’ll try to come after your husband again. At least if her husband knows and he decides to fix things she’ll be distracted while you two are trying to mend your marriage. And he’ll also be keeping an eye on her. How does your husband know she even exists and her story is true? Have they Skyped?